Week 9: Crack Danks vs Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Crack Danks: Joker, Harley Quinn, Three Musketeers Squad: d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Batwoman, Robin (-4), and Alfred (-4) in Golden Age Batmobile, Terminator #2-3 (-4)

With Batman nowhere to be found, Robin and Catwoman decide to hit the town to have some fun. After some poor decisions, they return with Terminator #2 and #3, rolling in the Golden Age Batmobile.

Alfred advises “Master Grayson, Master Wayne will not be happy when he finds out you have brought strangers into the batcave.”

“That’s why he’ll never find out,” responds Robin.

Reluctantly, Alfred agrees, “Of course, Master Grayson.”

Little did they realize Joker and Harley had planted trackers on the two common Terminators so they could find out exactly where the Batcave is. The two lovers also hired the Three Musketeers to help break in and mess with the Batman. The Crack Danks squad now await outside of Wayne Manor waiting for the call from Joker to go inside.

Back inside the Batcave, the Bat squad starts opening bottles of champagne and continues the party with their new Terminator friends. It soon becomes interrupted by the Crack Danks squad blowing a hole in one of the cave walls. 

Joker announces his presence, “Batsy, Batsy, Batsy. Come out to play. I want to have some fun.”

The three musketeers quickly jump into action towards the two Terminators. While they are busy, Joker and Harley move towards the Bat family with maniacal laughter. Harley goes for boy wonder as Joker moves towards batwoman. Each side wins as Robin holds Harley by the throat and the Joker does the same to Batwoman.

Joker demands, “I want the Bat! Where is he? You two are not as fun as Batsy.”

Robin responds, “He’s not here. Looks like you’ll have to try another time.”

“What?!? I did all this for him to not be here?” Joker exclaims.

Obviously upset, Joker knocks out Batwoman and starts dragging her away. He has no use in being there anymore, but he can take Batwoman as a lure to bait Batman into a later trap. Robin snaps Harley’s neck out of anger to try and stop the Joker from taking Batwoman. As he makes his way to the Joker, the cave trembles from a massive hit across the Batcave which makes the cave wall crumble behind the Joker, blocking Robin’s way to saving Batwoman.

Meanwhile, the Three Musketeers were making their way through the Terminators but not without Aramis and Porthos dying with them. As the fight is occuring, Alfred hopped into the Golden Age Batmobile and full speed ahead trampled the remaining two Musketeers into the cave wall. Alfred received a minor concussion but will survive. The smash into the wall is what resulted in the unsteady cave wall across the Batcave to crumble.

All that remains in the Batcave is Alfred and a heartbroken Robin. Robin with tears, “I was supposed to protect her, and now she’s in the hands of that crazed clown.”

Alfred attempting to console him, “Master Grayson, she will survive. You will find her and save her.”

Robin notices a note left on the ground. It seems to have an address and time for Robin to go to. He immediately hops in the Golden Age Batmobile, which with a few dents is still running just fine.

Alfred advises, “It’s a trap, Master Grayson. Do not go. Wait for Master Wayne to return and help you.”

Robin responds, “I can’t wait. Her life depends on me now.” And he speeds off towards the unknown location.

Alfred alone whispers, “I know. Goodluck, Master Grayson.”

Robin arrives at an abandoned warehouse… classic. He attempts to sneak around a back entrance, but when he walks through the door the Joker echoes his voice, “I knew you’d come all alone and trying so desperately to be the hero. I’m afraid that won’t happen today.”

Robin calls out, “Why don’t you show yourself and we can find out who’s gonna win this fight.”

The lights instantly turn on, revealing Batwoman tied to a chair and explosives in the middle of the warehouse. Joker continues, “Like I said, you don’t become the hero today. Today, I show you what true loss looks like…”

And the chair explodes. Batwoman becomes no longer and Robin, in shock, falls to the floor becoming overwhelmed with tears. He notices the Joker walking towards him and Robin jumps up and knocks Joker to the ground.

On top of the Joker, Robin yells, “Why?!? Why did you do that? Give me an answer!”

All Joker can respond with is laughter. Uncontrollable laughter. Finally he gets out, “I just wanted to see your face, and it’s hilarious!” And the laughter resumes.

Robin cuts the laughter short by stabbing Joker through the heart, thinking it would make him feel better by doing to Joker’s heart what just happened to his own. He unfortunately felt no better.

As Joker coughs up blood, “You finally did what the Bat could never. Well, it was fun while it lasted.” And the Joker takes his final breath.