Dolla 49 McRib Vs. The Sigmas

 Dolla 49 McRib is Doomsday, Bizarro Superman, Anti-Monitor, Steepenwolf w/ Anti-life equation, The JSA: The Spectre, Dr. Midnight, Hourman, Starman, & Mr. Terrific, Balrog #1-4, The 5th Brother, Nightbrother #1-10, Ultraman, Lady Deadpool, Chattari Leviathon #1-3, &  White Martian #1-6.

The Sigmas are The Witch King of Agmar, Melkor (Morgoth Bauglir), Smaug, Legolas, King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, Nessa, Ancient Balrog #1-4, The Black Order: Proxima Midnight, Black Dwarf, Corvus Glaive, & Super Giant, Aatrox, & Malanea.

I myself, Joshatu the Magnificent flew here first class; but the two squads ready to do battle today both vigorously run into the battlefield.  We all know why of course, because one does not simply walk into Mordor.  Two elite squads stand before me today and this bout is certain to be not only a pitched competition; but a bloodbath as well.

   Morgoth, who is known by many names and titles, the Bauglir himself; but originally known as Melkor presides over his nation on the highest point of Mount Doom.  The McRibs know that in this particular setting he is King above all.  The creator of Sauron himself, the embodiment and the very root and creation of all that is evil.  He does not move from his spot, instead knowing that any challenger will have to come to him.  

  This match has mega brawl written all over it; so as the building leveling skirmishes all begin, let me run down who is brawling with whom.  Doomsday and Bizarro start making the slow strut up Mount Doom to take on the boss, Melkor himself; while Ultraman, who is leading the six white Martians in his wake attempts to move towards the other four Valor who unlike Melkor, did not choose the forces of evil in King Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, & Nessa.  Smaug is sent out by Melkor to battle with the Chattari Leviathons for dominance of the air; while Lady Deadpool and The Fifth Brother draw swords together in an effort to battle with Malanea.  The Balrogs who have grown large and powerful from centuries of greed are able to defeat the four smaller ancient Balrogs, but only #2 & 4 survive.  The JSA engages in a knock down, drag em out fight with The Black Order, and Steppenwolf tries to to step like a wolf towards Mordor native and the once great king of Angmar, the first Ringwraith, The Witch King himself.  Last but not least, Aatrox and The Anti-Monitor have both taken flight, choosing to have their battle out in the skies above.

  Left out from this were the ten Nightbrothers, who under orders from the defacto leader of the McRibs The Spectre are scouring the landscape of Mordor trying to find a vantage point against a squad who so seemingly has home field advantage on their side.  Nightbrother #7 raises his hand as a signal to his fellow Dathomirians that trouble is afoot.  But before they can take action Nightbrother #2 & 9 find arrows imbedded in their eye sockets and a large rock avalanche comes tumbling down on top of the other eight.  Legolas, he who caused the falling rock zone from above, gracefully leaps off the rocks and says under his breath:  "Let's see Gimli try to count that as one"....

  Lady Deadpool and The Fifth Brother of The Inquisitors move confidently towards Malanea.  "This time we take her together" Lady Deadpool says to the Star Wars character to break the fourth wall.  But they soon see that this sword battle is quite a pitched one despite Malanea being outnumbered two to one.  The three combatants go back and forth for quite some time, with the Fifth Brother at first being surprised that the mighty sword of Malanea was able to parry his lightsaber.  Malanea, strikes the katana blade of Lady Deadpool with ferocity, breaking the blade in two and then sends her sword into the chest of the alternate universe Wade Wilson.  Lady Deadpool falls to the ground in pain, as she can do nothing but watch her fellow McRibber The Fifth Brother be cut down by Malanea.  As Malanea begins to walk away in search of her next battle, she does not see Lady Deadpool, who has now recovered due to her accelerated healing factor pick up the strange hilted lightsaber of the Inquisitorious and uses it to relieve Malanea of her head.  

      Aatrox and The Anti-Monitor are ripping up the skies of Mordor so bad, that this time you can be certain that the Eagles will never fly in there again.  Both combatants grow to gargantuan sizes as the battle rages on.  The Anti-Monitor and Aatrox have a similar power scale; but a very different root to the power they possess.  The Anti-Monitor being more science based finds himself lacking in this magic based world and falls to the more mystical Aatrox with a brutal swipe of his massive halberd which cleaves the Anti-Monitor in two.  

  The Black Order and The Justice Society battle it out in that kind of Marvel movie: "This is what is going on in the background while we talk to the main characters sort of way".  But trust me when I tell you that the special affects are fantastic and there isn't any dumb Disney woke stuff going on, so it is awesome to watch.  Super Giant made sure to make some sort of ghey slur in his own alien language as he ripped Mr. Terrific's head off; but Dr. Midnight deadly smoke bombs the crap out of Corvus Glaive.  Proxima Midnight and Hourman join each other in death, while Black Dwarf thought his durability would stand up against the sonic crystal energy projection of Starman; but he was wrong.  Dr. Midnight and Starman do end up falling to the might of The Black Order; but The Spectre of JSA ends up being the last man standing in the skirmish.  

  Steppenwolf stands firm with his massive axe in hand and parries several of the initial blows dealt by The Witch King's lance; but eventually he falls to the might of the most powerful of the nine rings of men. 

   Smaug, despite being outnumbered and outsized by the huge Chattari Leviathons is able to use a combination of his razor sharp talons, whit, superior flight maneuverability, and fiery breath to kill all three of them.  Although this battle does leave the ancient dragon wounded and fatigued.   

    As Doomsday and Bizarro Superman move towards Melkor they are surprised to see him back away at the commencement of the skirmish; but simultaneously Ultraman and the six white martians are even more shocked to see what happens of The Valor before they have a true chance to attack.  Ultraman, flies in fast knowing that speed and raw power must be taken advantage of if he is to kill known users of magic which he knows himself to be vulnerable to.  But instead the four Valor let out a gasp of death as they find themselves consumed with flame, as their own teammate Melkor has stolen their life forces and their power along with it.  Manwe, Varda, Tulkas, and Nessa die in a massive burst of Mordor flame, flame hot enough to melt even the most famous rings of power.  This brutally hot explosion of dark magic, evil, malice, and fear consume Ultraman as well as all six white martians.  Melkor then lets out a massive scream as he is overcome by a thrust of power from the other four murdered Valor that even he is barely able to live through.  The power is too much for Melkor to contain in the middle of a battle that he redirects a potent blast of it directly into the chest of Bizarro Superman that rips the Kryptonian level powered creature to pieces.  Now, with Melkor still above his normal power level; but at a manageable spot, the true mountain shattering brawl between he and Doomsday begins.  

  Smaug, though wounded flies in as fast as his wings can muster towards the two remaining Balrogs, while The Spectre take to the air as well to do battle with Aatrox, flexing his mighty wings.  Legolas and Lady Deadpool, engage in a stealthy, hunting game of cat and mouse through the rock outcroppings, while The Witch King moves to join his master's master Melkor in his battle against the bloodlusted Doomsday.  

  These four epic battles rage on simultaneously, while it is difficult for even I to catch every detail.  Aatrox moves swiftly against The Spectre, delivering his magic halberd through The Ghostly Guardian; but instead of blocking the attack, The Spirit of Redemption known as The Spectre simply materializes both himself and his attacker Aatrox into a void of nothingness.  Smaug on the other hand is able to defeat not only one but both the remaining balrogs; but after this bout does eventually succumb to his myriad injuries.  

  Melkor is taking a beating from Doomsday; but the evil Valor keeps on ticking.  Lady Deadpool perches herself atop Mount Doom to try to gain a vantage point; but doesn't even know where to start or where she could possibly jump in to a fight of such powerhouses.  The Witch King rushes into the battle; but Doomsday turns his attention away from Melkor just for a second to bash in the skull of The Witch King.  Doomsday rips the mask from the face of the dying Witch King and turns toward Melkor to use the mask of Mordor as a weapon against the one who created its evil.  As Doomsday aims for the neck of Melkor, his opponent musters all of the evil strength he has and focuses it into his fists to deliver a brutal double handed punch to the top of Doomsday's head, at the exact same time as these simultaneous blows take place, causing Melkor and Doomsday to join each other in death a perfectly aimed elven arrow goes into the neck of the supposedly un-killable Lady Deadpool dropping her into the fiery chasm of Mordor.