TEAM: Kryptonian Kal El & Thunder god Thor’s “We Really Like Wearing Spandex” Throng of Adequacy is Superman, Comet, Streaks, Thor, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok (the Thor Clone), God Emperor Leto II, Evil Paul Atreides Ghola, Duncan Idaho Ghola #3, Bashar Miles Teg Ghola, Duke Leto Atreides, Voltron, Set, The Road Runner, Wil-E-Coyote & Baby Wolverine in a Land Speeder, Galvatron, Iron Hide, (movie) Iron Hide, Nyobi, Bloodwind, Freddy Kruegar, & Leader One.
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Luna Lovegood, Dr. Fate, Ginny Weasaly, Bashar Miles Teg, Paul Atreides Ghola, The Herculoids: Zandar, Tarra, Dorno, Zok, Igoo, Tundro, Gloop, & Gleep, Judah Ben Hur, Willow Rosenburg, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, Paralax, Black Adam, Bizarro Superman, Rodimus Prime, Qui Gon Jinn, Azeem, Saladin, Ardeth Bay & Ahmed Best in a Land Speeder, Kaja Sinis, Ben Kenobi, (movie) Blackout, Maxima, Ms. Marvel, Mary Marvel, Dr. Grant on a 4-Wheeler, & Bryan Beckerman in an Exo-Suit.
The newly formed Thor Corps, along with Superman land on the sandy dunes of Arrakis to rendezvous with the rest of their TEAM; already assembled with their unofficial Desert leader God Emperor Leto II. “I look forward to quickly dispatching this team, much as my last team did when we met them in the water”. Thor says arrogantly to anyone who will listen. Superman replies to this statement with “The team we are about to face is undefeated, we have no reason to take them lightly and I see no reason for your apparent arrogance”. Thunderstrike chimes in with “Everyone knows that the N.L. is weak” Superman looks at his 3 Norse TEAMmates and says “there is no proof of that, and furthermore there is no reason to talk about. We have a job to do, now lets go do it”. “Ahh is our Kryptonian leader scared of what lies ahead, or perhaps you are simply scared that you are no longer the most powerful member of our said TEAM”. Thor says to Superman. “We met last year Thor, back when you were on The Slaves and I think we both remember how that turned out. So you need not play up your power in front of your new friends”. Replies Superman. The God Emperor uses a hint of his Bene Gesserit voice powers to bellow out to his bickering TEAMmates saying “enough of this, it is time for TEAM to act like its name and water the sacred Dunes with the blood of The Commandos”. With that being said the holy emperor of the known Universe speeds off on top of the Dunes with his massive body exposed to the arid air of the planet he calls home. The other members of TEAM take off behind Leto II into the distance where they can see The Commandos preparing for a charge of their own. Dumbledore and Rodimus Prime have taken control of the team for the time being. Despite the fact that Rodimus Prime has the Autobot Matrix of leadership within his chest; he realizes that he is still a rookie to this league and that this Dumbledore guy really seems to know what he is talking about, so the Autobot leader doesn’t seem to mind taking a back seat to him for the time being. Rodimus lifts the wizard up in his right hand to elevate him for his speech to the troops but not everyone of the Commandos is quite as anxious to listen to him. “We will need to fight hard and to give everything we have but we should be cautious. TEAM is not to be taken lightly”. Black Adam yells for everyone to hear “Get over it old man, you’re busy living in last year. TEAM doesn’t even have that kind of power any more. We’ve all read the stats. This is our year”. Qui Gon adds “It is of no use talking about it on the battlefield. I sense them approaching and I don’t need the force to know that we will find out soon enough which one of you is right”. The God Emperor is only a couple hundred yards away when he decides to stop in his tracks. The rest of TEAM believes that he is simply letting them catch up but once they reach him he orders them to hold back. They soon see why as the angered serpent Set pops out of the ground as if to taunt the Commandos into choosing what they should attack first. Dumbledore looks at Black Adam and says “Well Adam, prove me wrong”. Black Adam then nods to Mary Marvel; who along with Ms. Marvel, & Maxima fly off to do battle with the once 7 headed but now only 3 headed monster. Once The God Emperor sees that the Commandos will not be sending their entire team over to battle with Set he allows his attack to continue. Leto II along with the 5 Voltron Lions, the 2 Iron Hides, & Wil-E-Coyote in his Land Speeder with Baby Wolverine riding Shotgun are the first to arrive in the area where the Commandos are hold out. The 2 Iron Hides begin battling with Blackout but the Decepticon doesn’t like the 2 on 1 odds so he transforms and takes to the air to fight elsewhere. Ardeth Bay is driving the Land Speeder thru the Dunes with Ahmed Best in the passenger seat when he notices that they are being chased by a similar land speeder. It does not take them long to notice that despite the significant amount of distance between the 2 speeders Wil-E-Coyote’s speeder is gaining ground on them quickly. “What is that, 1 of those new XP-38’s that all the dorks at the Comic-Cons are always talking about” Best says to a puzzled Ardeth. But the reality is that Wil-E has outfitted the land speeder with a huge rocket which is propelling them at an amazing rate of speed. They catch up quickly when Wil-E-Coyote realizes that although his Acme rocket is doing the job, that the brakes on the land speeder aren’t working. They crash into the back of the other speeder throwing all 4 of the combatant onto the sand. Once he is on his feet Wil-E-Coyote fires a smaller rocket at the head of Ahmed Best which turns his dome into icky yucky goo. Ardeth in retaliation comes at the coyote with his sword and cuts off his head. Ardeth seems triumphant but this entire time while he was driving he never noticed that there was another tiny person in the speeder. Baby Wolverine, being the best at what he does (compared to other babies of course) uses this to his advantage as he jumps claws first into the chest of Ardeth to kill him. Zandar leads his team of Herculoids and Bryan Beckerman in an Exo-Suit against the Voltron Lions. They dance around the sands for a while without touching each other in that strange way that only 80’s cartoon characters can fight Becks turns to Zandar as they are shooting their lasers and lava rocks at the metal lions and says: “These guys have some pretty thick skin, and I ain’t Lion. Get it Lie-in”….. But Zandar doesn’t get it. The Lions then form together to make Voltron which prompts Becks to turn to Tarra and say nothing because he was to busy staring at her breasts, but he does say to Dorno as he points to his Exo-Suit “crap, I thought only the lawyers could transform in this universe”. Which of course is not even remotely funny but Dorno laughs so hard that he doesn’t even notice Voltron’s sword cutting both him and Beckerman in half. Blackout, still in his helicopter form swings back around to help out The Herculoids but he is blown out of the air by Leader One’s missiles before he can attack Voltron. A furious Zandar, due to the loss of his son begins shouting orders to The Herculoids to attack Voltron while Tarra is busy being completely useless. Gloop begins bouncing off of Voltron’s metal body and Gleep wraps around Voltron’s legs to trip him. The 2 protoplasms then both try to bounce onto Voltron once again but Voltron opens up his hand/laser lion mouth and vaporizes both Gloop and Gleep. Voltron gets back up to evade Zok’s lazer tail attack when Tundro and Igoo both run in to attack. Voltron brings his sword down onto the back of Tundro slicing thru the thick skin of the creature while he is stepping on Tarra. Zandar and Igoo both rush in toward Voltron. Voltron crushes Zandar with his fist but Igoo punches Voltron in the chest knocking him to the ground. Igoo then uses his incredible strength to pound on the chest of the fallen Voltron until he is nearly destroyed. When the giant rock Ape gets ups Zok flies by and gives Voltron a triple laser shot from his eyes and tail to finish the GoLion off. Paralax flies in toward the battle but Galvatron transforms into his cannon mode and blasts the yellow energy being completely apart before he makes his way to his arch-nemesis Rodimus to so battle. Dr. Grant is blazing a trail on his 4-wheeler when The God Emperor decides to make his presence known. The man in a worm’s body easily crushes both Grant and his 4-wheeler. Willow Rosenburg and Luna Lovegood try to conjure up some spells to stop the rampaging Shai Halud incarnate but they are consumed by his sheer might as well. Even kaja Sinis, with his great gift of the force is no match for such a power. Sinis evades for a short time and attempts to get in close with his lightsaber, knowing that he is disadvantaged from a strength perspective but in this environment he is even outmatched when it comes to maneuverability. The God Emperor simply dives below the sand and then pops back out to consume the first ever Jedi Master. Bloodwind flies in to where Ginny Weasaly and Dr. Fate are standing back to back to protect each other from the carnage that surrounds them. The 2 magic users try a variety of spells on the disguised Martian but they all simply slow Bloodwind down instead of stopping him. Dr. Fate flies into the air try his attack from a different angle but Bloodwind flies up to meet him with an uppercut which knocks Fate down to the ground and sends his helmet off into the distance. Bloodwind then comes down hard onto Fate’s head with his foot to finish him off. Bloodwind then starts to move against Ginny but in a last ditch effort she conjures up a simple fire spell which seems to completely debilitate her opponent.. When she notices the effect that this has on him she works up as much fire as she can with her wand and sends it sailing in Bloodwind’s direction to take him out. Superman is finally done arguing with Thor (for the moment). So he, along with his super pets Streaks and Comet fly over the enemy lines to where it appears that a counter ground offensive is being laid out by the great military genius Bashar Miles Teg. The Bashar has hand chosen who he feels are the best people to lead his desert ground assault, but Superman, his Super Cat, and his Super Horse all simply land directly on their targets to take out The Bashar, Paul Atreides’ Ghola, and Judah Ben Hur; before the attack can even take place. Dumbledore and Harry Potter are actually smiling like they are back at Hogwarts together as they use a combination of spells to take out The Road Runner and then Nyobi before she can rock them with any of her patented Kung-Fu moves. (movie) Iron Hide actually goes down pretty easily as well when matched up against the 2 powerful wizards, but it is a little bit different as the New Thor Corps lands in front of them. Thor fights thru the magic of the two spell-casters and then knocks them down with a double close line that is reminiscent of Saturday morning wrestling. Once down on the ground Thunderstrike and Ragnarok both jump in with their hammers at the ready to cave in the skulls of the 2 worthy opponents. On the other side of the dunes the battle with Set rages on. Mary Marvel attempts to fly underneath one of Set’s remaining 3 heads but the giant serpent simply snatches her out of the air and swallows her whole, retaining her power as his own. Maxima and Ms. Marvel (or as they say about themselves in the locker room: Straight chicks doing straight things) fly over toward one of Set’s heads. Maxima blasts it with her eye beams to distract it while Ms. Marvel flies up underneath and begins pounding on the serpent head with all of her might. When this doesn’t work Maxima flies down to the other side of the head and begins pushing on the neck from the opposite direction. With the 2 of them pushing on either side they manage to cave in the neck and pop off Set’s head, leaving him with only 2. The 2 gal pals quickly fly over to Black Adam to assist him with the head he is working on. Black Adam is fiercely pounding on the mystical creature but it does not seem to get the job done. Maxima & Ms. Marvel fly in to begin their same regiment but Ms. Marvel gets caught in the Jaws of Set and consumed within a matter of seconds. A furious Maxima unleashes all of her cosmic power into the head that Black Adam has been beating on and leaves nothing but a burnt stump in its place. With this move it leaves Set with only one remaining head. Black Adam focuses all his energy as he screams “SHAZAM” causing a storm of lightning to come crashing into both the mid-section and remaining head of Set to completely destroy the Atlantean creature. Galvatron and Rodimus Prime are beating on each other’s metal bodies unmercifully when Rodimus kicks Galvatron in the chest and down onto the sand. Rodimus then tries to jump on top of Galvatron to gain the upper hand in the fight and finish him off but just before Rodimus can finish the attack Galvatron gets his arm cannon up and blasts him out of the air. Rodimus tries to shake off the attack but by the time he begins to pull himself together Galvatron has transformed into his cannon mode. With one more well placed blast Galvatron blows Rodimus and the matrix to pieces. Duke Leto Atreides and Duncan Idaho have deliberately separated themselves from the ghola referring to himself as Paulo. Because although he may look like the Paul Atreides that they both loved and respected, he is entirely different. The Red Duke and his Swordmaster both rush in toward the small group being led by Saladin: of Qui Gon, Ben Kenobi, & Azeem. Leto shoots Saladin between the eyes with his hidden wrist mounted poison dart gun while Duncan begins sword fighting with Azeem. Qui Gon and his reunited former padawan Kenobi ignite their lightsabers and make short work of Leto. Duncan knocks Azeem to the ground and is about to deliver a killing blow when he is sidetracked by the 2 Jedi. Duncan Idaho, as skilled as he may be, not to mention fueled by rage after once again not being able to stop the death of his Duke is no match for the 2 Jedi plus Azeem. Idaho dodges the initial swing of Qui Gon’s green lightsaber but is shortly thereafter killed by Obi Wan’s blue one. There is no rest for the 3 fighters, as Paulo jumps out of nowhere with his crysknife in hand. The failed Kwisatz Haderach uses the element of surprise to stab Ben Kenobi in the back of the neck. “Noooooo” Qui Gon screams as he and Azeem quickly dispatch the Tlielaxlu creation. Bizarro Superman lands in front of a very eager Freddy Kruegar. Freddy swings his claws swiftly at Bizarro but Bizarro simply blows on Freddy with his heat breath to further burn the villain and send him backward. This angers Freddy who charges back at Bizarro but it is no use as Bizarro simply grabs a hold of Freddy and rips him apart. Bashar Miles Teg Ghola races in at speeds that can not even be deciphered by the human eye. Qui Gon is able to keep up for a second but his force powers are exhausted just by simply watching the Bashar’s ghola. Miles Teg simply grabs a hold of Qui Gon to vibrate him to death while Azeem is busy getting run over by Iron Hide. Ginny Weasaly, Black Adam, Bizarro, Maxima, & The remaining 2 Herculoids all regroup to find that they are outnumbered by a decent amount but they are in no way ready to give up when they have that amount of combined power. Maxima flies up to fight with Superman and his pets. She grabs a hold of Streaks and rips the Super Cat’s head clean off. This was a great plan; that is if her intention was to piss off Superman which is exactly what that move prompted. If it were to be put in school terms they would say that Maxima pulling off Streaks head was the cause, and Superman pulling off Maxima’s head was the effect. It is no doubt that the Thor Corps has a fairly unhealthy resentment of Superman which can in no way be a good thing for TEAM if they can’t get over it somewhat quickly but at the moment it seems to be O.K. since they are taking out that aggression on Bizarro. Bizarro grabs a hold of Thunderstrike and begins choking him. He has such a grip on the younger version of Thor that he probably would have been able to finish him off had Ragnarok and Thor not pulled him off. Once released Thunderstrike is the first of the 3 to throw his Odin empowered Hammer at Bizarro Superman which breaks his rock like body into dozens of pieces. Black Adam is about to try his hand at Superman, which is something he has been looking forward to for a long time when The Bashar Miles Teg Ghola runs up and tackles him. Black Adam has a strength that is superior to Teg’s but when the ghola grabs a hold of him and starts moving his body’s molecules at a faster and faster rate even Black Adam cannot seem to get away from it. Miles Teg so exerts himself that he is to far gone to recover. He actually vibrates his body so severely that it deteriorates both the cells of his body and of the mighty Black Adam’s until they are both unrecognizable lumps of flesh. Ginny Weasaly feels she is ready for any challenge as she grips her wand tightly in anticipation of the oncoming battle but her magic is no match for the combined fire power of 3 huge robots. Ginny’s body cannot even be found in the blowing sands after Iron Hide, Galvatron, & Leader One blow her to bits. Superman and Comet meet up with the Thor Corps in the air and make short work of the lone flyer left on the Commandos: Zok. The alien dragon tries to blast them with his lasers but it is of no avail as the 5 super-powered beings rip the poor beast apart in mid-air. Igoo stands alone on the sands with his rock hard body to protect him against any of the planets elements but his hardened exterior proves to be not enough to protect him against the God Emperor, as Leto II throws his worm body into the air and crashes down on top of the Ape to kill him in an instant.
TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Syracuse Valley
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 4 Match: Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Syracuse Valley.
Before the match, I enter the sandy locker room of Le’Napoleon Brigade. Le' Napoleon Brigade is Obi Wan Kenobi, Atreides Soldiers #1-10, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Army Soldiers #101-102, Allia Atreides (adult), Silver Dragons #1-3, Princess Leia (E.U. Jedi), Bo Jackson, Poison Ivy, Lara Croft, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach), Allia Atreides Ghola (child), Hecate, John McClane, Alan Scott, Guy Gardner (with yellow ring), Aragorn, Arwen Evenstar, Horses #26-31, Princess Ororo (Amazon), Anakin Solo and Velociraptors #31-36.
Bo Jackson: Bo don’t do losing!
Lara Croft: I’m looking for the first kill this time!
John McClane: Not if I’m first.
I then enter the locker room for the Syracuse Valley. The Syracuse Valley is The Syracuse Valley is Soundwave with Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, (movie) Jazz, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), Casey Jones, Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles, Bossk, Dash Rendar and Leebo in an AT-ST, Raiden with Kid Thunder, Shang Tsung, Alien Xenomorphs #85-90, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Wald, Fire Bros. #1-6, Venom, Guile, Wingnut and Screwloose, Scooter, Crasher, Treasure Troll #5, Jedi Guardian #3 with Jedi Padawan #37, Hammer Bros. #1 & 2, Rob Bartlett, and Little Goombas #2 & 3.
Treasure Troll #5: Time for us little guys to kick some butt!
Megatron: Is everyone ready to enter battle?
Venom: I know I am ready to rip some limbs apart!
Bossk: Raargh! Ruurghugh! Ruummgh! [Translation: Wait! My shoes! My shoes!!! I can’t enter into battle without my shoes!]
I teleport the teams to the sandy battlefield (except for one). The battle commences. . . .
Rob Bartlett looks upon the Brigade and scowls at their presence.
Bartlett: Brigade! You will all die today! In fact, I will kill at least. . . [Bartlett’s head explodes as both bullets from Lara Croft and John McClane rip through his skull].
McClane: Yippee Kayay, Mother@&$#@r!
Croft: What a p@$$y!
McClane: Looks like we both get the first kill.
The dinosaurs are the next to take the field. Velociraptors #31-36 use their quick speed to reach Alien Xenomorphs #85-90. It is a vicious battle between the monsters. The Xenomorphs manage to kill Velociraptors #31-34. The Velociraptors manage to kill Xenomorphs # 88-90. Squawkbox (the combined Beastbox and Squawktalk gestalt) comes upon the scene and wreaks both sonic and audio havoc on the battlefield. Raptors #35 and 36 cannot take this sensory overload and run away. Squawkbox then becomes the Transformer gorilla Beastbox and parrot Squawktalk. The Transformers chase Velociraptors #35-36. Just as the Transformers are about to reach the dinosaurs, Anakin Solo, lightsaber ignited, slashes through both. Squawktalk and Beastbox are destroyed. Xenomorphs # 85-87 run away from the fight with Solo.
Hammer Brothers #1-2 and Little Goombas #2 and 3 face off against Bo Jackson.
Jackson: I played two sports. You little creatures have no chance.
In response to this insult, Goombas #2 and 3 rush at Jackson. The little video-ites bite him repeatedly; blood flows from his wounds. Hammer Brothers #1 and #2 then finish the job started by the Little Goombas by striking Jackson repeatedly in the skull with their hammers. The Goombas and Hammers are ecstatic at actually having defeated a member of the Brigade.
Seeing their diminutive brethren defeat Jackson, puts Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles the Echidna, Wald and Treasure Troll #5 in a frenzy. The miniatures are ready for action! They see Velociraptors #35 and #36 begin to race by. Noticing the small Valley members and believing they are easy prey, the Velociraptors attack. They are quick to dispatch Wald and Treasure Troll #5. Sonic begins to run away and the Raptors pursue the hedgehog. Velociraptor #36 begins to tire and stops. Knuckles comes up behind the Raptor and strikes him repeatedly with his spiky hands. Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 join Knuckles in his beating of the dinosaur; Raptor #36 dies. Velociraptor #35, lets out a feral growl, attacks and manages to kill both Goomba #3 and Hammer Brother #2. Sonic comes back and with the help of Knuckles, Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 kills Raptor #35. All Velociraptors are now dead.
Having defeated so many of the Brigade, the small Valley teammates are going wild. They see Horses #28-31 now approaching. The Valley savors another defeat of the Brigade members. Horses #28-31 succumb to the sheer number of little beasts and die. Horses #26 and #27, unbeknownst to the little beasts, are ridden by Aragorn and Arwen Evenstar. It is too late before the Valley members pay attention. With swords drawn, both Aragorn and Arwen lop off the heads of Sonic, Knuckles, Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 – a fitting and final death for these characters.
As Aragorn and Arwen ride their horses they are confronted by Dash Rendar and Leebo in an AT-ST. The AT-ST’s laser fire kills both horses #26 and 27; Aragorn and Arwen are thrown from their steeds. Both Aragorn and Arwen raise their swords to face the AT-ST. Knowing the odds are against the Tolkien heroes, Army Soldiers #101-102 attempt to help their comrades. The soldiers’ attempt fails as they are blasted immediately. Aragorn and Arwen run behind the vehicle. As the AT-ST turns around it does not realize that a golden lasso has been tied around its’ legs. The AT-ST trips and crashes to the ground. Dash and Leebo manage to escape the Imperial walker. As they come from the vehicle’s head, they see Aragorn and Arwen, swords ready. Dash, blasters in both hands, fires and kills both Aragorn and Arwen. Dash and Leebo jump from the AT-ST and are faced by Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Solo. Both Obi Wan and Anakin manage to divert Dash’s shots. Obi Wan manages to strike Dash down, while Anakin slices Leebo in half.
Raiden with Kid Thunder, Shang Tsung and Guile come upon the smoking AT-ST remains and see Obi Wan and Anakin Solo. Both Raiden and Shang Tsung use their mortal combat abilities to strike Anakin. The sorcerer’s power of Tsung and lightning of Raiden course through Anakin, bringing the young Jedi to his knees. Kid Thunder rushes at Anakin. Anakin, although hurt, is not dead. Only sensing Kid through the Force, Anakin turns and impales Kid upon his lightsaber.
Kid Thunder: Raiden. Avenge me!
Raiden amplifies his power with Shang Tsung’s abilities and the duo’s powers rip through Anakin. Anakin, nearly unconscious, notices Guile rushing at him. Before Guile reaches him, Obi Wan strikes the Street Fighter character with his lightsaber. Guile dies. Obi Wan then manages to use his lightsaber and avert the projections coming Anakin’s way. Slashing back and forth Obi Wan is able to deflect the lightning and sorcery back at their creators. Obi Wan comes upon both Raiden and Shang Tsung and strikes them both down. Anakin, hurt, loses consciousness.
Obi Wan begins to move back to his teammate when he sees Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), and Jedi Guardian #3 with Jedi Padawan #37. Although the skills of Obi Wan manage to kill both Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Padwan #37 rather quickly, he is unable to finish the two Sith. With Anakin unconscious, he knows that he must face these two alone. Darth Rave and Darth Maul repeatedly strike at Obi Wan with their sabers. Obi Wan manages to deflect the blows repeatedly, but soon tires due to the unrelenting fury of the Sith. Rave manages to cut Obi Wan’s arm off. Obi Wan screams and Maul smiles. Maul walks up to the Jedi and kills him by slicing him in half.
Maul: Payback is a b%&ch!!!
Obi Wan’s spectral form approaches Anakin: The force will be with you. . . always. . ..
Anakin, hearing these words, slowly gets up and comes face to face with Venom. Venom smiles.
Venom: Me like fresh meat.
Venom rips Anakin’s arms off; Anakin bleeds to death.
Alan Scott and Guy Gardner see the alien symbiote and use their rings, together, to pummel Venom. Venom repeatedly takes the blows and laughs. Venom knows that the Lanterns really have to increase their game. They do. Both Scott and Gardner take turns picking Venom up with their ring’s powers, carrying him in the sky and dropping him to the sandy ground below. Each time Venom smashes to the ground he swallows more and more sand. Eventually, there is a sandy crater where Venom has repeatedly struck. Venom, coughing sand, knows that it will be over soon. Gardner and Scott, together, use their powers to carry Venom far up in the sky. Venom plummets to the ground one last time. His body enters the sand and exhausted at the beating he has taken, suffocates and dies.
Scott and Gardner begin to fly away and are met by Megatron (movie) and Starscream (movie). The Lanterns are no match for the flight abilities of the Decepticons. Although both Scott and Gardner attempt to battle the cybertronian jets, their rings do not allow them enough time to adapt to the moves and weapons of the fighting machines. Megatron manages to kill Gardner and Starscream manages to kill Scott.
Croft and McClane smile at one another as they see Baby Nightcrawler in front of them. Baby Nightcrawler is making sand castles. Croft and McClane have no qualms about using their “upper hand” to kill the young superhero. Just as they raise their weapons, Nightcrawler and Nocturne teleport behind Croft and McClane and smash their heads together. Croft and McLane are unconscious. Fire Brothers #1-6 decide to use this to their advantage and begin to repeatedly throw fire balls at the two unconscious heroes. Once on fire, they get up, in flames. The Fire Brothers continue to shoot fire balls at the two. Jazz and Crasher come upon the scene and although currently in robot mode, quickly transform to their vehicle modes. Their tires trudge through the sand and run the two humans over – again and again. Croft and McLane are dead by the Transformer/Go-Bot duo.
Silver Dragons #1-3 then trounce upon the battlefield. Although sluggish because they are used to colder climates, they are a formidable match for the Valley Team. All Silver Dragons, in unison, use their cold cone breaths, to freeze and kill Fire Brothers #1-6. The dragons then focus on Jazz and Crasher. Before they can convert to robot mode again, which is a more reasonable form to battle the Dragons, the Dragons freeze them. Jazz and Crasher are frozen and then destroyed by the beasts. Scooter comes upon the scene, believing he can help his teammates. Scooter is wrong. The Dragons manage to destroy the Go-Bot inventor easily. Thus, three dragons have taken out Fire Brothers #1-6, Jazz, Crasher and Scooter. Megatron and Starscream will not allow these foul beasts to conquer their kind so easily. They use all of their weaponry, while averting their breaths, to kill Silver Dragons #2-3. Overkill comes upon the scene and in Dinosaur-mode, uses his jaws to crush the neck of Silver Dragon #1 who dies, a fitting final death.
Across the battlefield, Xenomorphs #85-87 are running. Princess Leia (E.U), Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl meet the alien predators. The Xenomorphs believe that the women are easy prey. They are wrong.
Leia: Which one do you have?
Wonder Woman: Xeno # 86. You?
Leia: Xeno # 87.
Wonder Girl: Good. That leaves me with # 85. That means I have the opportunity to put this one is the grave for good!
The women clash with the Alien Xenomorphs. Wonder Woman lassos Xeno #86 and strangles the beast with her rope. Leia uses her Jedi abilities to quickly dispatch of Xeno # 87. Wonder Girl gets a hold of the Xenomorph #85 and repeatedly strikes it. The Xenomorph is near death and on the ground. Poisin Ivy comes upon the scene.
Ivy: Ladies, may I please have the honor?
Wonder Girl, Wonder Woman and Leia (in unison): Of course.
Ivy uses her body to toxify Xenomorph #85. Xeno #85 dies its final death. . .
The women travel together and see Casey Jones.
Casey Jones although believing he is outmatched, still shouts his war cry into battle.
Jones: Goongala!
Jones rushes at Leia with his hockey stick. Leia does a force leap over Jones and while in mid-air slices Jones in two
Princess Ororo joins her female teammates. She flies in the air and uses her weather manipulation skills to create a sandstorm. The Valley team is blinded. Instead of the women, out from the sandstorm rushes the Dune inhabitants. Atreides Soldiers #1-10, Allia Atreides (adult), Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach), Hecate (cymek) and Allia Atreides Ghola (child), who are all used to the storms of Arrakis, rush out of the blinding curtain caused by Ororo.
The Dune warriors are met by Darth Maul and Darth Rave. Maul and Rave easily cut down Atreides Soliders # 1-2, 8-10. Allia Atreides (adult), Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 and Allia Atreides Ghola (child) swarm upon Darth Rave. The battle is fierce and Rave manages to kill both Allias, who although strong and acclimated to the Dune planet, are no match for the vicious Sith Rave. Seeing their kinmates killed by Rave, Duncan Idaho Ghola and Hecate manage to kill Rave. Maul, in retribution, then kills Duncan Idaho Ghola. The bloodthirsty Hecate then comes at Maul. Maul’s lightsaber manages to damage Hecate. Nonetheless, the cymek overcomes the battle scars and kills Maul. Nocturne and Nightcrawler teleport repeatedly, striking Hecate over and over again. The cyborg is strong, but he is not strong enough to stop the repeated blows. As the cymek hits the ground, it fails to notice the final death blow was given by Overkill’s jaws.
Wonder Woman, Poisin Ivy, Wonder Girl, Ororo, and Leia come upon the combatants. They easily kill the remaining Atreides Soliders #3-7. Leia uses her force abilities to locate Nocturne and Nightcrawler. Ororo and Wonder Woman use their lassos to snag and bind the teleporters. Wonder Girl and Poisin Ivy kill them. Wingnut & Screwloose then jump into the fray. The alien bat (Wingnut) and alien mosquito (Screwloose) from the planet Huanu fight valiantly, but are no match for the women. They fall with their comrades.
The Brigade’s five women meet Soundwave, Overkill, Slugfest, Frenzy, Megatron and Starscream. Frenzy is easily taken out by Leia with her lightsaber. Poisin Ivy’s powers are useless on the robots and there is no plant life around for her to utilize. Thus, Overkill quickly kills her in its jaws. Soundwave uses its ability to read the minds of the women and transmits this information to his teammates. Using this information, Slugfest, in dino-mode uses its stegosaurus tail to strike Leia. Leia manages to cut into the tail, but does not see Megatron and its weapons. Leia is killed. Ororo, Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl all manage to destroy the damaged Slugfest. Megatron, Starscream and Overkill, though, are too much for the remaining women. Although the women manage to destroy Soundwave, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and Ororo are eventually bested and killed by the Transformers.
Megatron picks up Baby Nightcrawler and enters into the locker room with the other Transformers. There Megatron, Starscream and Overkill see Bossk.
Bossk: Raarghugh! Oomphaaay! Raaaurgh! Raaarguuggh! [Translation: What the hell?!?! You all stormed off into battle without me! It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t find my shoes!!! How rude!!!] [SHOUT OUT TO ROBOT CHICKEN STAR WARS SPECIAL 2!!!!]
Brigade: All dead.
Valley: Megatron, Starscream, Overkill, Baby Nightcrawler and Bossk alive.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
Before the match, I enter the sandy locker room of Le’Napoleon Brigade. Le' Napoleon Brigade is Obi Wan Kenobi, Atreides Soldiers #1-10, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Army Soldiers #101-102, Allia Atreides (adult), Silver Dragons #1-3, Princess Leia (E.U. Jedi), Bo Jackson, Poison Ivy, Lara Croft, Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach), Allia Atreides Ghola (child), Hecate, John McClane, Alan Scott, Guy Gardner (with yellow ring), Aragorn, Arwen Evenstar, Horses #26-31, Princess Ororo (Amazon), Anakin Solo and Velociraptors #31-36.
Bo Jackson: Bo don’t do losing!
Lara Croft: I’m looking for the first kill this time!
John McClane: Not if I’m first.
I then enter the locker room for the Syracuse Valley. The Syracuse Valley is The Syracuse Valley is Soundwave with Overkill, Slugfest, Squawktalk, Beastbox, (movie) Frenzy, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, (movie) Jazz, Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), Casey Jones, Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles, Bossk, Dash Rendar and Leebo in an AT-ST, Raiden with Kid Thunder, Shang Tsung, Alien Xenomorphs #85-90, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Wald, Fire Bros. #1-6, Venom, Guile, Wingnut and Screwloose, Scooter, Crasher, Treasure Troll #5, Jedi Guardian #3 with Jedi Padawan #37, Hammer Bros. #1 & 2, Rob Bartlett, and Little Goombas #2 & 3.
Treasure Troll #5: Time for us little guys to kick some butt!
Megatron: Is everyone ready to enter battle?
Venom: I know I am ready to rip some limbs apart!
Bossk: Raargh! Ruurghugh! Ruummgh! [Translation: Wait! My shoes! My shoes!!! I can’t enter into battle without my shoes!]
I teleport the teams to the sandy battlefield (except for one). The battle commences. . . .
Rob Bartlett looks upon the Brigade and scowls at their presence.
Bartlett: Brigade! You will all die today! In fact, I will kill at least. . . [Bartlett’s head explodes as both bullets from Lara Croft and John McClane rip through his skull].
McClane: Yippee Kayay, Mother@&$#@r!
Croft: What a p@$$y!
McClane: Looks like we both get the first kill.
The dinosaurs are the next to take the field. Velociraptors #31-36 use their quick speed to reach Alien Xenomorphs #85-90. It is a vicious battle between the monsters. The Xenomorphs manage to kill Velociraptors #31-34. The Velociraptors manage to kill Xenomorphs # 88-90. Squawkbox (the combined Beastbox and Squawktalk gestalt) comes upon the scene and wreaks both sonic and audio havoc on the battlefield. Raptors #35 and 36 cannot take this sensory overload and run away. Squawkbox then becomes the Transformer gorilla Beastbox and parrot Squawktalk. The Transformers chase Velociraptors #35-36. Just as the Transformers are about to reach the dinosaurs, Anakin Solo, lightsaber ignited, slashes through both. Squawktalk and Beastbox are destroyed. Xenomorphs # 85-87 run away from the fight with Solo.
Hammer Brothers #1-2 and Little Goombas #2 and 3 face off against Bo Jackson.
Jackson: I played two sports. You little creatures have no chance.
In response to this insult, Goombas #2 and 3 rush at Jackson. The little video-ites bite him repeatedly; blood flows from his wounds. Hammer Brothers #1 and #2 then finish the job started by the Little Goombas by striking Jackson repeatedly in the skull with their hammers. The Goombas and Hammers are ecstatic at actually having defeated a member of the Brigade.
Seeing their diminutive brethren defeat Jackson, puts Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles the Echidna, Wald and Treasure Troll #5 in a frenzy. The miniatures are ready for action! They see Velociraptors #35 and #36 begin to race by. Noticing the small Valley members and believing they are easy prey, the Velociraptors attack. They are quick to dispatch Wald and Treasure Troll #5. Sonic begins to run away and the Raptors pursue the hedgehog. Velociraptor #36 begins to tire and stops. Knuckles comes up behind the Raptor and strikes him repeatedly with his spiky hands. Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 join Knuckles in his beating of the dinosaur; Raptor #36 dies. Velociraptor #35, lets out a feral growl, attacks and manages to kill both Goomba #3 and Hammer Brother #2. Sonic comes back and with the help of Knuckles, Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 kills Raptor #35. All Velociraptors are now dead.
Having defeated so many of the Brigade, the small Valley teammates are going wild. They see Horses #28-31 now approaching. The Valley savors another defeat of the Brigade members. Horses #28-31 succumb to the sheer number of little beasts and die. Horses #26 and #27, unbeknownst to the little beasts, are ridden by Aragorn and Arwen Evenstar. It is too late before the Valley members pay attention. With swords drawn, both Aragorn and Arwen lop off the heads of Sonic, Knuckles, Hammer Brother #1 and Goomba #2 – a fitting and final death for these characters.
As Aragorn and Arwen ride their horses they are confronted by Dash Rendar and Leebo in an AT-ST. The AT-ST’s laser fire kills both horses #26 and 27; Aragorn and Arwen are thrown from their steeds. Both Aragorn and Arwen raise their swords to face the AT-ST. Knowing the odds are against the Tolkien heroes, Army Soldiers #101-102 attempt to help their comrades. The soldiers’ attempt fails as they are blasted immediately. Aragorn and Arwen run behind the vehicle. As the AT-ST turns around it does not realize that a golden lasso has been tied around its’ legs. The AT-ST trips and crashes to the ground. Dash and Leebo manage to escape the Imperial walker. As they come from the vehicle’s head, they see Aragorn and Arwen, swords ready. Dash, blasters in both hands, fires and kills both Aragorn and Arwen. Dash and Leebo jump from the AT-ST and are faced by Obi Wan Kenobi and Anakin Solo. Both Obi Wan and Anakin manage to divert Dash’s shots. Obi Wan manages to strike Dash down, while Anakin slices Leebo in half.
Raiden with Kid Thunder, Shang Tsung and Guile come upon the smoking AT-ST remains and see Obi Wan and Anakin Solo. Both Raiden and Shang Tsung use their mortal combat abilities to strike Anakin. The sorcerer’s power of Tsung and lightning of Raiden course through Anakin, bringing the young Jedi to his knees. Kid Thunder rushes at Anakin. Anakin, although hurt, is not dead. Only sensing Kid through the Force, Anakin turns and impales Kid upon his lightsaber.
Kid Thunder: Raiden. Avenge me!
Raiden amplifies his power with Shang Tsung’s abilities and the duo’s powers rip through Anakin. Anakin, nearly unconscious, notices Guile rushing at him. Before Guile reaches him, Obi Wan strikes the Street Fighter character with his lightsaber. Guile dies. Obi Wan then manages to use his lightsaber and avert the projections coming Anakin’s way. Slashing back and forth Obi Wan is able to deflect the lightning and sorcery back at their creators. Obi Wan comes upon both Raiden and Shang Tsung and strikes them both down. Anakin, hurt, loses consciousness.
Obi Wan begins to move back to his teammate when he sees Darth Maul, Sith Lord #4 (Darth Rave), and Jedi Guardian #3 with Jedi Padawan #37. Although the skills of Obi Wan manage to kill both Jedi Guardian #3 and Jedi Padwan #37 rather quickly, he is unable to finish the two Sith. With Anakin unconscious, he knows that he must face these two alone. Darth Rave and Darth Maul repeatedly strike at Obi Wan with their sabers. Obi Wan manages to deflect the blows repeatedly, but soon tires due to the unrelenting fury of the Sith. Rave manages to cut Obi Wan’s arm off. Obi Wan screams and Maul smiles. Maul walks up to the Jedi and kills him by slicing him in half.
Maul: Payback is a b%&ch!!!
Obi Wan’s spectral form approaches Anakin: The force will be with you. . . always. . ..
Anakin, hearing these words, slowly gets up and comes face to face with Venom. Venom smiles.
Venom: Me like fresh meat.
Venom rips Anakin’s arms off; Anakin bleeds to death.
Alan Scott and Guy Gardner see the alien symbiote and use their rings, together, to pummel Venom. Venom repeatedly takes the blows and laughs. Venom knows that the Lanterns really have to increase their game. They do. Both Scott and Gardner take turns picking Venom up with their ring’s powers, carrying him in the sky and dropping him to the sandy ground below. Each time Venom smashes to the ground he swallows more and more sand. Eventually, there is a sandy crater where Venom has repeatedly struck. Venom, coughing sand, knows that it will be over soon. Gardner and Scott, together, use their powers to carry Venom far up in the sky. Venom plummets to the ground one last time. His body enters the sand and exhausted at the beating he has taken, suffocates and dies.
Scott and Gardner begin to fly away and are met by Megatron (movie) and Starscream (movie). The Lanterns are no match for the flight abilities of the Decepticons. Although both Scott and Gardner attempt to battle the cybertronian jets, their rings do not allow them enough time to adapt to the moves and weapons of the fighting machines. Megatron manages to kill Gardner and Starscream manages to kill Scott.
Croft and McClane smile at one another as they see Baby Nightcrawler in front of them. Baby Nightcrawler is making sand castles. Croft and McClane have no qualms about using their “upper hand” to kill the young superhero. Just as they raise their weapons, Nightcrawler and Nocturne teleport behind Croft and McClane and smash their heads together. Croft and McLane are unconscious. Fire Brothers #1-6 decide to use this to their advantage and begin to repeatedly throw fire balls at the two unconscious heroes. Once on fire, they get up, in flames. The Fire Brothers continue to shoot fire balls at the two. Jazz and Crasher come upon the scene and although currently in robot mode, quickly transform to their vehicle modes. Their tires trudge through the sand and run the two humans over – again and again. Croft and McLane are dead by the Transformer/Go-Bot duo.
Silver Dragons #1-3 then trounce upon the battlefield. Although sluggish because they are used to colder climates, they are a formidable match for the Valley Team. All Silver Dragons, in unison, use their cold cone breaths, to freeze and kill Fire Brothers #1-6. The dragons then focus on Jazz and Crasher. Before they can convert to robot mode again, which is a more reasonable form to battle the Dragons, the Dragons freeze them. Jazz and Crasher are frozen and then destroyed by the beasts. Scooter comes upon the scene, believing he can help his teammates. Scooter is wrong. The Dragons manage to destroy the Go-Bot inventor easily. Thus, three dragons have taken out Fire Brothers #1-6, Jazz, Crasher and Scooter. Megatron and Starscream will not allow these foul beasts to conquer their kind so easily. They use all of their weaponry, while averting their breaths, to kill Silver Dragons #2-3. Overkill comes upon the scene and in Dinosaur-mode, uses his jaws to crush the neck of Silver Dragon #1 who dies, a fitting final death.
Across the battlefield, Xenomorphs #85-87 are running. Princess Leia (E.U), Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl meet the alien predators. The Xenomorphs believe that the women are easy prey. They are wrong.
Leia: Which one do you have?
Wonder Woman: Xeno # 86. You?
Leia: Xeno # 87.
Wonder Girl: Good. That leaves me with # 85. That means I have the opportunity to put this one is the grave for good!
The women clash with the Alien Xenomorphs. Wonder Woman lassos Xeno #86 and strangles the beast with her rope. Leia uses her Jedi abilities to quickly dispatch of Xeno # 87. Wonder Girl gets a hold of the Xenomorph #85 and repeatedly strikes it. The Xenomorph is near death and on the ground. Poisin Ivy comes upon the scene.
Ivy: Ladies, may I please have the honor?
Wonder Girl, Wonder Woman and Leia (in unison): Of course.
Ivy uses her body to toxify Xenomorph #85. Xeno #85 dies its final death. . .
The women travel together and see Casey Jones.
Casey Jones although believing he is outmatched, still shouts his war cry into battle.
Jones: Goongala!
Jones rushes at Leia with his hockey stick. Leia does a force leap over Jones and while in mid-air slices Jones in two
Princess Ororo joins her female teammates. She flies in the air and uses her weather manipulation skills to create a sandstorm. The Valley team is blinded. Instead of the women, out from the sandstorm rushes the Dune inhabitants. Atreides Soldiers #1-10, Allia Atreides (adult), Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach), Hecate (cymek) and Allia Atreides Ghola (child), who are all used to the storms of Arrakis, rush out of the blinding curtain caused by Ororo.
The Dune warriors are met by Darth Maul and Darth Rave. Maul and Rave easily cut down Atreides Soliders # 1-2, 8-10. Allia Atreides (adult), Duncan Idaho Mentat Ghola #12 and Allia Atreides Ghola (child) swarm upon Darth Rave. The battle is fierce and Rave manages to kill both Allias, who although strong and acclimated to the Dune planet, are no match for the vicious Sith Rave. Seeing their kinmates killed by Rave, Duncan Idaho Ghola and Hecate manage to kill Rave. Maul, in retribution, then kills Duncan Idaho Ghola. The bloodthirsty Hecate then comes at Maul. Maul’s lightsaber manages to damage Hecate. Nonetheless, the cymek overcomes the battle scars and kills Maul. Nocturne and Nightcrawler teleport repeatedly, striking Hecate over and over again. The cyborg is strong, but he is not strong enough to stop the repeated blows. As the cymek hits the ground, it fails to notice the final death blow was given by Overkill’s jaws.
Wonder Woman, Poisin Ivy, Wonder Girl, Ororo, and Leia come upon the combatants. They easily kill the remaining Atreides Soliders #3-7. Leia uses her force abilities to locate Nocturne and Nightcrawler. Ororo and Wonder Woman use their lassos to snag and bind the teleporters. Wonder Girl and Poisin Ivy kill them. Wingnut & Screwloose then jump into the fray. The alien bat (Wingnut) and alien mosquito (Screwloose) from the planet Huanu fight valiantly, but are no match for the women. They fall with their comrades.
The Brigade’s five women meet Soundwave, Overkill, Slugfest, Frenzy, Megatron and Starscream. Frenzy is easily taken out by Leia with her lightsaber. Poisin Ivy’s powers are useless on the robots and there is no plant life around for her to utilize. Thus, Overkill quickly kills her in its jaws. Soundwave uses its ability to read the minds of the women and transmits this information to his teammates. Using this information, Slugfest, in dino-mode uses its stegosaurus tail to strike Leia. Leia manages to cut into the tail, but does not see Megatron and its weapons. Leia is killed. Ororo, Wonder Woman and Wonder Girl all manage to destroy the damaged Slugfest. Megatron, Starscream and Overkill, though, are too much for the remaining women. Although the women manage to destroy Soundwave, Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl and Ororo are eventually bested and killed by the Transformers.
Megatron picks up Baby Nightcrawler and enters into the locker room with the other Transformers. There Megatron, Starscream and Overkill see Bossk.
Bossk: Raarghugh! Oomphaaay! Raaaurgh! Raaarguuggh! [Translation: What the hell?!?! You all stormed off into battle without me! It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t find my shoes!!! How rude!!!] [SHOUT OUT TO ROBOT CHICKEN STAR WARS SPECIAL 2!!!!]
Brigade: All dead.
Valley: Megatron, Starscream, Overkill, Baby Nightcrawler and Bossk alive.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!!!!
Built Ford Tough vs Team Sleeping Pussy
Built Ford Tough is Sand Trooper #1-25, The Flaming Carrot, Wilt, Steve McQueen, Fantastic Max, FX, AB, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Indiana Jones, Beta Ray Bill, Ancient Sith Lord #8-13, Mandalorian #6-10, (book) Arachnid #1-12, Sardakaur #1, & Barry Sanders.
Team Sleeping Pussy is Cloak & Dagger, Giant Man, Shield Agent #1-10, Ka-Zar & Zabu, Mothra, Super Skrull, Kahn, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Ice-Man, Angel, Beast, War Skrull #1-5, Binary, Vision, Mr. Joshua, Compy #29-70, Female Sentinels #1 & 2.
Built Ford Tough is teleported to the desert planet of Arrakis and eager to get its first regular season win. However, that is easier said than done. Standing in their way is Team Sleeping Pussy who has an opportunity to string back-to-back wins this week. Han Solo and Indiana Jones order the 25 Sand Troopers to form a line in front of their forces. They also have the six Ancient Sith Lords, the five Mandalorians, and the twelve Arachnids join the Sand Troopers on the front line. The Ancient Sith Lords all almost simultaneously ignite their lightsabers as the other troops ready their guns. Chewbacca joins Beta Ray Bill at the peak of a sand dune and lets out a mighty roar as Beta Ray Bill calls down a lightning bolt from the sky. Han and Indy climb up to the peak as well. “Alright, men. I’m not any good at this speech-giving stuff. So all I’m gonna say is, lets show this team why we are BUILT FORD TOUGH!” says Han Solo. His team cheers after his words of encouragement. They then see a giant billowing sand cloud approaching them. “Urgg. I hate sand,” grumbles Sand Trooper #11. “Heh. Fine time to form that opinion. Could be worse though. We could be freezing our butts off on Hoth,” replies Sand Trooper #23. “Yeah, well I might rather be there right now. Look!” says Sand Trooper #11. As he points to the now dissipating sand cloud, the first one they see is Giant Man, the new big man on Team Sleeping Pussy, now that Master Mold is gone. Next they see the Original X-Men, led by Cyclops, who fires an optic blast that kills Wilt. “Hold! Hold that line!” shouts General Solo. Team Sleeping Pussy continues their march, with Mothra pulling up the rear. They get extremely close to Built Ford Tough’s front line, which is when Gen. Solo yells, “Now! Fire!” The Sand Troopers mow down all ten charging S.H.I.L.D. Agents in a haze of dust and laser blasts. Built Ford Tough’s Sand Troopers are then overwhelmed by 42 Compys. This allows Team Sleeping Pussy to break through and attack. “Uh guys, I kinda got a problem,” says a concerned Iceman. “There’s no moisture in this air.” Before any of his fellow X-Men can respond, the iceless Bobby Drake is shot and killed by Han Solo. Beast then leaps at Han Solo, only to be tackled by Chewbacca. They both start savagely beating each other, sending a mixture of blue and brown fur everywhere. Chewbacca looks like he has the upper hand and is about to rip the arms off of Hank McCoy, but Ka-Zar and Zabu jump in and save Beast. Ka-Zar drives his spear into Chewy’s shoulder and pins him to the ground as Zabu bites into the Wookie’s neck, killing him. As Ka-Zar pulls his spear out of Chewy, Indiana Jones uses his whip and snatches it out of Ka-Zar’s grasp. This then allows the Flaming Carrot to bounce in on his atomic pogo stick and wrap Ka-Zar’s head in silly putty, which suffocates the Savage Land native. Zabu lunges at Indiana, but at the last second he lifts Ka-Zar’s spear and plunges it into the saber tooth tiger, right before it lands on him. The Sand Troopers continue to fight of the Compys, already killing Compys #29-32, 41, 44-50 and 70. However Sand Troopers #2, 6 and 18 have been bitten too badly and die from the Compy venom. Giant Man then comes thundering in, stepping on Sand Trooper #10, Sardakaur #1, and even Compys #33-36. The 12 Arachnids, who start firing their weapons on the large Avenger, then attack him. Pym then slaps his massive hand down and squashes Arachnid #7-9. “These bugs are bugging me,” Giant Man mumbles to himself. The Arachnids start climbing all over him, firing their guns, as Giant Man crushes them one by one. He finally kills the last Arachnid, but topples over due to the blood loss from the bullet holes. Beta Ray Bill flies in and put Hank Pym out of his misery with a well placed hammer to the back of his head. The combined efforts of the Ancient Sith Lords, Mandalorians, and Sand Troopers are able to finish off the Compys, but loose Mandalorians #8 and 9, and Ancient Sith Lord #13 in the process. Super Skrull leads his team of War Skrulls who all have been altered with the powers of several members of Team Sleeping Pussy towards the Ancient Sith Lords. Super Skrull stretches his arm and wraps it around Ancient Sith Lord #8 and then torches him with his fire. War Skrull #1 uses his optic blasts (Cyclops) to knock the lightsaber out of Ancient Sith Lord #10’s hand and then uses his sonic scream (Banshee) to explode his head. War Skrull #2 and 3 are cut down quickly by Ancient Sith Lord #9 before they can use their powers. Super Skrull then turns invisible as Ancient Sith Lords #11 and 12 rush him. Ancient Sith Lord #12 is all of a sudden smashed into the sand by Super Skrull’s invisible rock fist. War Skrulls #1, 4 and 5 the slowly start closing in on the last two Ancient Sith Lords but are Force pushed away. War Skrull #5 is Force choked to death by Ancient Sith Lord #9. Binary and Vision both fly in and take out the Ancient Sith Lords with amazing efficiency. Barry Sanders then runs in and scoops up a lightsaber. He zigs and zags through the Skrulls, duck and dodging all of their attacks. He then amazingly cuts down both remaining War Skrulls and then decapitates Mr. Joshua, who probably didn’t even feel the pain involved with such an injury. (Obviously Barry Sanders has a high midi-chlorian count. No normal human can move the way he does.) Team Sleeping Pussy’s Field General Khan Noonien Singh orders his team to continue their assault on Built Ford Tough. Female Sentinels #1 and 2 take off and start blasting down at the Sand Troopers below. They take out Sand Troopers #1, 4, 5, 11-15, and 22-25. The three remaining Mandalorians, using their jetpacks, blast off after the Female Sentinels. They all land on Female Sentinel #1 and use their blasters to destroy the robot. It plummets to the ground, slamming into the sand, killing Sand Trooper #20 and 21 and Steve McQueen, who was really wishing he had a motorcycle or some sort of car at the time. The Mandalorians take off after Female Sentinel #2, but she incinerates Mandalorian #6 with her powerful laser blasts. General Solo orders the remaining Sand Troopers to concentrate all firepower on Female Sentinel #1. This draws the Sentinel’s attention; she blasts Sand Troopers #3, 16, 17, and 19. Beta Ray Bill who uses his hammer, Stormbringer, to send a lightning bolt right through her head, finally takes her down. The Mandalorians come flying in to attack the remaining X-Men, but Cloak (otherwise known to some in the FFL as Clock) appears out of nowhere and allows them to fly right into the “darkness dimension.” Dagger then throws several of her “light daggers” into the Flaming Carrot. Han Solo blasts her right between the eyes, which then sends Cloak over the edge. He screams in agony and unleashes his cloak, causing it to completely engulf Han Solo, an injured Beast and the remaining Sand Troopers. However at the last second, Indiana Jones flings his whip into the black abyss of Cloak and pulls Han Solo to safety. “Now I owe you one,” quips Han. Fantastic Max, F.X. and A.B. finally decide to get in the fight. “Dirty diapers!” exclaims Max. “Yes I see that Max, you’ve been rolling around in the sand this entire time,” A.B. fires back. Fantastic Max then pulls F.X.’s pull string on his back, which cause his antennas to spin around and F.X. shouts “Rock and Roll!” The ground begins to shake and then without warning a Sandworm comes exploding out of the sand. It jumps into the air swallows Angel, who was flying high above. It then comes crashing back down into the sand, taking Cloak with him. “When did we get a Sandworm?” asks a confused Han Solo. “When the hell did they get a Sandworm?!” shouts Khan. “They don’t. I’m sensing that it’s being created by that little child’s green alien friend,” replies Jean Grey. She then uses her telekinesis to grab F.X. and pull him in, allowing Khan to rip him in half. The Sandworm disappears. Vision then flies in and painlessly kills Fantastic Max and dismantles A.B. Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Barry Sanders then regroup and form behind Beta Ray Bill who stands firmly in front. Mothra takes flight towards then remaining members of Built Ford Tough, but is hit by a massive sandstorm created by Beta Ray Bill. Knowing that she is going to die soon, Mothra emits a yellow poisonous powder that covers the last members of Built Ford Tough. Barry Sanders tries to out run it, but eventually chokes to death from the powder. Mothra crashes into the sand and dies. Han Solo and Indiana Jones are having major difficulties breathing due to the poisonous powder. But regardless of that, they fight on. They are finally taken down by the combined efforts of Cyclops, Binary and Super Skrull. Beta Ray Bill in what is surely to go down as one of the most heroic last stands charges towards Team Sleeping Pussy and attacks them with a fury only known to the gods. He manages to crush Khan and Super Skrull, but Jean Grey’s psychic attack, coupled with Cyclops and Binary’s blasts are just too much for even him to withstand. Vision, comes up behind him and ends his suffering by phasing his hand into Bill’s head and causing an aneurysm.
TEAM SLEEPING PUSSY IS VICTORIOUS!
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy Prime, The Sentry, Luke Skywalker Jedi Master, Arch Angel, Pin Head, Madyline Pryor, Juggernaut, Daken On a 4-Wheeler, Gurney Halleck, Amon Sur, The Fuzzy Monster, Fremen #31-32, 35-36, 38, & 39, Sheanna, Sandworm #14, Achilles, Deathstroke, Sabertooth, Taskmaster, Miho, Charleton Heston in an Exo-Suit, & Chris & Julie Artrip in a Tank.
Alice’s Wonder Team is Extinction Alice, Apocalypse Alice, Alice, Alice Clones #1-3, Gen. Zod, Non, Surtur, Jorus C’baoth, Joruus C’baoth, Artemis, Hyperion, War Machine, Mandarin, Sith Lord #1 & 2 (Darth Deez & Darth Nutz), Conan the Barbarian, The Predi-Alien, (Silver Age) Blue Beetle, SSJ4 Gogeta, Leeloo, Brawn, & Treasure Troll #3.
Darkseid, Supergirl (holding Luke), Superboy, The Sentry, & Arch Angel stay high above the dry landscape of Arrakis following the orders of their Head Coach Hanibal Lectur and patiently waiting for their team’s first wave of true desert power. “Why must we wait like cowards, this must be your idea Darkseid”. Supergirl says to her captain. “Follow the plan Supergirl, you will be given plenty of opportunity to show your skills” Darkseid replies. The Sentry adds “Why must we do this at all, I don’t feel …..” but he is interrupted by Darkseid who says “Shut your mouth Sentry, I am in no mood to listen to your whining or to deal with your antics. You will fight and you will fight hard or you will deal with me”. Although these members of the team wait for the right time; in true Horsemen fashion not every member of the team was given quite as much information as these more choice members, because when you are a Horsemen everyone must serve their purpose in the grand scheme of things. The Fremen, including Sheanna, & Gurney make themselves practically invisible as they blend in with the sand and rocks of Dune while Achilles, his Myrmidon soldiers, Daken & Juggernaut hang back to the side of the battle as well. Madyline Pryor leads The Fuzzy Monster & Pinhead in what she believes to be the first wave of the Horsemen’s attack but little does she know what the first wave truly entails. Pin Head moves toward Conan while a true Nightmare of a battle shapes up between The Fuzzy Monster, a young girl’s nightmare Vs. the nightmare of every dork who ever thought they might make a decent Alien Vs. Predator movie the Predi-Alien. Leeloo jumps out toward Madyline Pryor while Extinction Alice receives a strange premonition thru her mental telepathy. Ex. Alice turns to Zod and says “I don’t know what it is that is coming but we need to get far away from here”. Zod in his arrogance instinctively wishes to stay but has actually gained somewhat of a trust with the Alices after their 3 & 0 start to the season so her actually listens to her and gets Non and Hyperion to follow him as he takes flight high into the arid air of Arrakis. Ex. Alice takes off running, yelling to her fellow Alice’s to follow. They see a rock outcropping in the distance and begin heading for it. Meanwhile the small battle that was about to take place with the heavily outnumbered Pryor, Fuzzy Monster, & Pin Head is over before it happens as Sandworm #14 bursts out of the sand dwarfing everyone and everything in its wake. The spiral of worm that appears out of the planet’s sands seems endless before the mammoth beast comes crashing back down onto the dunes. When Shai Halud does come back down to the sacred sands, the mighty maker, like always leaves a changed world in its wake. Mighty heroes and frightened children, villains and the villainized, teammates and enemies are all the same as the keeper of the sand comes crashing down taking the lives of Madyline Pryor, The Fuzzy Monster, Pin Head, War Machine, Darth Deez, Conan, The Predi-Alien, Blue Beetle, Leeloo, Brawn, Treasure Troll #3, & even the god Artemis who thought herself immortal until she witnessed the only thing worthy of worship on Arrakis. When the worm comes back down onto the landscape of the planet it makes its turn back toward the direction it came from. In other words back toward the Horsemen until a single robed woman pops out of the sand as if she were a miniscule worm of the desert herself. With this motion by Sheanna, the mighty Sandworm simply stops in its tracks causing a reaction throughout the sands that both looks and feels like electric shocks flowing thru the endless dunes. Sheanna lifts up her sinewy arms and speaks to the worm with both stern indignation and playful delight as if it is her household pet. The worm then sends shockwaves thru the rough sand as it turns around and starts heading back the other way. Ex. Alice and her Alice crew are almost to their desired point of relative safety when the Maker comes back to further defend its sacred sands. Ex. Alice, Ap. Alice, and Alice clones #2 & 3 all make it to the small jagged rock formation while the rest of the Alice’s are getting close along with SSJ4 Gogeta who is quickly making up time as he flies over to the Alice’s to share in what they hope will be a haven of safety. It is inevitably this patterned quick running thru the sands that attracts the great worm though as it opens it’s enormous razor-lined mouth and consumes Alice, & Alice clones #1 & 3. Gogeta bravely flies into the mouth of the treacherous beast charging up one of his powerful attacks but it is useless against the sheer size and strength of the worm which consumes him like a fish of the sea would consume microscopic plankton. While the Fremen move toward the clan of force users consisting of Darth Nutz and the 2 C’baoths, The Myrmidons storm the rock outcropping where the remaining Alices are hold out. Amon Sur, who had been waiting patiently on his own flies in quick leaving a stream of yellow energy in his wake toward Surtur. But from up in the air Gen. Zod gathers his super-powered force of himself, Non, Mandarin, & Hyperion and decides that it is time for them to dispose of the meddlesome Sandworm no matter how imposing of a figure it may seem to be. Zod cares very little of the god-like implications given to the mighty beast of the desert known as Shai Halud to the natives of this barely livable planet as he leads the charge against it. He first keeps his distance and uses his heat vision to singe the thick walled skin of the worm while Non flies in behind him, mimicking his every move. Hyperion flies in behind the beast and begins pounding his powerful fists into its back while Mandarin uses his various rings in a vain attempt to damage the beast. Mandarin first uses the ring on his left middle finger to create an electro blast but it does virtually nothing, he then tries to use the ring on his right little finger to block the creature into a wall of complete blackness but the maker just simply plows right thru this attack as well. It is not until Mandarin uses the ring on his left little finger to create an ice blast that the Wonder Team sees a noticeable effect on the worm. Even the ice itself does virtually nothing but once the ice created by Mandarin’s alien ring begins to melt on the skin of the worm the water which is toxic to the worm begins to melt away at the ultra thick skin. When the others see this he orders Mandarin to continue the use of the specific ring while they use their freeze breath to do the same. Even with all of this ice it is not enough to drown the worm but it does weaken the animal enough that once Zod, Non, & Hyperion all fly in at top speed toward the worm they are able to break thru the skin of the maker and kill it with an amazing display of sheer force. Once killed, the toxic substance known to the Fremen as the water of life burns the skin of even Hyperion and the Kryptonians but not enough to do any permanent damage. It is not everyday that a Jedi, a Dark Jedi, & a Sith Lord all team up with each other but that is exactly what Jorus C’baoth, his clone, and Darth Nutz do as they are rushed by the small mob of Fremen. With their Crysknives drawn the Fremen move quickly thru the desert sands running with no pattern in their steps just simply out of instinct to avoid awakening Shai Halud. Sheanna, though a skilled fighter, trained in all of the bene gesserit combat methods is quickly dispatched by Lord Nutz, but Gurney Halleck along with Fremen #32 & 35 dodge Jorus C’boath’s initial lightsaber swings and go in for the kill. Jorus takes out Fremen #35 but Gurney catches the Jedi Master underneath his chin, not with his crysknife but with his royal Atreides dagger that he was wielding with his other hand. The Insane clone Joruus C’baoth takes this as a great opportunity for attack as he hits the Atreides troubadour with a burst of force lightning and then goes in for the kill with his lightsaber. Joruus then swings back around and takes out Fremen #31 & 38 before Fremen #39 comes up from behind and slits his throat. Darth Nutz, still angered by the death of his master Darth Deez goes into a Sith rage and wipes out Fremen #36 & 39, before Fremen #32 allows his crysknife to taste the water of the Sith Lord’s body. Darkseid, Supergirl, Luke Skywalker, Superboy, & The Sentry finally land back down on the surface of Arrakis and join the battle. Dakken on his 4-wheeler rides up to act as Darkseid’s personal bodyguard (an honor he was bestowed with in the locker room by Darkseid himself). While a spice-addicted Juggernaut (former Murderfly) actually stops to take in the cinnamon flavored arid air of the homeland of Shai Halud. The Juggernaut races toward the rock out-cropping that the Alices are hiding in crashing into the wind-created structure causing an avalanche and blocking all but one small entrance, which is now the only way in or out of the area. This spot is also exactly where The Myrmidons are headed. While Julie & Chris’ tank blasts rock the rocky structure Achilles leads the charge with his select warriors doing their best to keep up. Ex. Alice stands out in front of her look-alikes ready to make her last stand; she jumps onto one of the rock ledges blasting away with her pistol and then comes down hard with her kukri right into the head of Taskmaster killing him instantly. She manages to it Sabertooth a couple of times in the arm and side but it is nothing that his healing factor can’t fix. Heston transforms back into his robot form and is met by the 2 Alice clones. They move around him quickly, but he opens fire with his arm mounted sub-machine gun. He manages to take out Alice Clone #3 but with a simple kick the 2nd clone knocks off his Exo-Suit helmet and than puts a hollow point into his head. She does not get to enjoy her victory for long though because Deadly little Miho uses her katana to gut the last of the Alice Clones, right before Ap. Alice breaks Miho’s neck with one of those knee around the head moves that the new movie directors seem to like so much. Sabertooth is recovering from his wound quickly at the same time that he is running toward Ap. Alice ready to rip her to shreds but he does not seem to get there in time because The Myrmidon leader Achilles is there to take off the head of Ap. Alice and then swing back around in the blink of an eye and do the dame to Ex. Alice, all while giving Sabertooth a dirty look for not being fast enough. Amon Sur blasts Surtur with a shot of yellow energy but it is not enough to take out the Asgardian. Amon Sur than flies in but Surtur brings down his fiery sword and destroys the yellow lantern. Surtur than quickly moves over to Skywalker and attempts a similar attack but Luke rolls out of the way gracefully. Luke than lifts his hand in the direction of the Norseman and with a flick of his wrist sends the flaming sword flying and quells the flames around Surtur. When the smoke clears there is nothing but what appears to be a weak looking old man laying in the sand that Luke quickly jumps in and dispatches with his lightsaber. Darkseid rushes toward Mandarin while he orders The Sentry to face off against Hyperion and allows the 4 Kryptonians to go at each other, with Archangel there to help out Superboy and Supergirl. Hyperion goes in fast toward The Sentry but the Sentry throws him down into the dunes below. The Sentry than flies down to follow up his attack but is met by a brutal uppercut from Hyperion. Hyperion than follows The Sentry up. Grabs a hold of him and fires him back down to the ground so hard that it sends him well into the depths of the amazingly deep sands of Arrakis and kills him. Hyperion flies back to help Zod and Non but is hit by Superboy’s heat vision. Hyperion tries to fight thru the pain but the heat is so intense that it begins to actually melt the super-powered being. It is unsure if the Kryptonian heat vision ever would have been enough to actually kill Hyperion but it was enough for Archangel to target the spot with his metal wings and fly right thru Hyperion cutting him in half. With a flick of his wrist Non knocks Archangel to the ground and than goes for Superboy. While these battles progress Supergirl and Zod are engaged in a fierce and fast paced battle far above the Arrakeen skyline. Non appears to be stronger than the teenage Kryptonian from the Prime universe but is definitely not more intelligent. Non manages to bring Superboy down to the ground but Superboy to some extent allows it to happen, due to the fact that he know they are going to the area where Luke is. Once they are there Luke can help Superboy take out Non which is exactly what they do. Luke force pushes the brute over while Superboy beats him into submission. They do this several times until Superboy does his new heat vision trick once again. While focusing on one specific spot to weaken it Luke then throws his lightsaber into the Kryptonian’s chest to finish him off. Mandarin is using his superior martial arts skills as well as the power gifted to him by his rings to evade the attacks of Darkseid. Darkseid seems to be on the offensive but in a stunning move Mandarin uses the ring on his right ring finger to send out a disintegration beam at Darkseid before Darkseid can get off his omega beam. The blast from this ring completely vaporizes Darkseid, but it leaves Mandarin not only extremely worn out but especially vulnerable with that ring needing about 20 minutes just to get back to a normally charged level. Dakkan, although already having failed his mission to protect Darkseid leaps off of his 4-Wheeler and digs all 6 of his claws into the back of Mandarin, completely gutting him. High in the air the deathless and undefeated Gen. Zod squares off against the former A.L. MVP Supergirl. As they trade blows with each other it appears that Zod is the stronger of the 2 but Supergirl seems to have an edge when it comes to speed. Zod attempts to bring his clenched fists down hard on Supergirl but she gets away from the attack just in the nick of time. She than flies around the Kryptonian general in a circle and gets up underneath his arms. Zod tries to squeeze the life out of her but cannot seem to get a handle on her or stop her from pushing up on his neck. The 2 of them are fighting so hard and putting themselves so deep into a state of exhaustion that when Supergirl hears the disgustingly loud sound of a popping Kryptonian vertebrate she has no idea which of the 2 of them were just killed, but when the people down on the dunes, see Zod’s lifeless body hit the ground, they knew that…….
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
Alice’s Wonder Team is Extinction Alice, Apocalypse Alice, Alice, Alice Clones #1-3, Gen. Zod, Non, Surtur, Jorus C’baoth, Joruus C’baoth, Artemis, Hyperion, War Machine, Mandarin, Sith Lord #1 & 2 (Darth Deez & Darth Nutz), Conan the Barbarian, The Predi-Alien, (Silver Age) Blue Beetle, SSJ4 Gogeta, Leeloo, Brawn, & Treasure Troll #3.
Darkseid, Supergirl (holding Luke), Superboy, The Sentry, & Arch Angel stay high above the dry landscape of Arrakis following the orders of their Head Coach Hanibal Lectur and patiently waiting for their team’s first wave of true desert power. “Why must we wait like cowards, this must be your idea Darkseid”. Supergirl says to her captain. “Follow the plan Supergirl, you will be given plenty of opportunity to show your skills” Darkseid replies. The Sentry adds “Why must we do this at all, I don’t feel …..” but he is interrupted by Darkseid who says “Shut your mouth Sentry, I am in no mood to listen to your whining or to deal with your antics. You will fight and you will fight hard or you will deal with me”. Although these members of the team wait for the right time; in true Horsemen fashion not every member of the team was given quite as much information as these more choice members, because when you are a Horsemen everyone must serve their purpose in the grand scheme of things. The Fremen, including Sheanna, & Gurney make themselves practically invisible as they blend in with the sand and rocks of Dune while Achilles, his Myrmidon soldiers, Daken & Juggernaut hang back to the side of the battle as well. Madyline Pryor leads The Fuzzy Monster & Pinhead in what she believes to be the first wave of the Horsemen’s attack but little does she know what the first wave truly entails. Pin Head moves toward Conan while a true Nightmare of a battle shapes up between The Fuzzy Monster, a young girl’s nightmare Vs. the nightmare of every dork who ever thought they might make a decent Alien Vs. Predator movie the Predi-Alien. Leeloo jumps out toward Madyline Pryor while Extinction Alice receives a strange premonition thru her mental telepathy. Ex. Alice turns to Zod and says “I don’t know what it is that is coming but we need to get far away from here”. Zod in his arrogance instinctively wishes to stay but has actually gained somewhat of a trust with the Alices after their 3 & 0 start to the season so her actually listens to her and gets Non and Hyperion to follow him as he takes flight high into the arid air of Arrakis. Ex. Alice takes off running, yelling to her fellow Alice’s to follow. They see a rock outcropping in the distance and begin heading for it. Meanwhile the small battle that was about to take place with the heavily outnumbered Pryor, Fuzzy Monster, & Pin Head is over before it happens as Sandworm #14 bursts out of the sand dwarfing everyone and everything in its wake. The spiral of worm that appears out of the planet’s sands seems endless before the mammoth beast comes crashing back down onto the dunes. When Shai Halud does come back down to the sacred sands, the mighty maker, like always leaves a changed world in its wake. Mighty heroes and frightened children, villains and the villainized, teammates and enemies are all the same as the keeper of the sand comes crashing down taking the lives of Madyline Pryor, The Fuzzy Monster, Pin Head, War Machine, Darth Deez, Conan, The Predi-Alien, Blue Beetle, Leeloo, Brawn, Treasure Troll #3, & even the god Artemis who thought herself immortal until she witnessed the only thing worthy of worship on Arrakis. When the worm comes back down onto the landscape of the planet it makes its turn back toward the direction it came from. In other words back toward the Horsemen until a single robed woman pops out of the sand as if she were a miniscule worm of the desert herself. With this motion by Sheanna, the mighty Sandworm simply stops in its tracks causing a reaction throughout the sands that both looks and feels like electric shocks flowing thru the endless dunes. Sheanna lifts up her sinewy arms and speaks to the worm with both stern indignation and playful delight as if it is her household pet. The worm then sends shockwaves thru the rough sand as it turns around and starts heading back the other way. Ex. Alice and her Alice crew are almost to their desired point of relative safety when the Maker comes back to further defend its sacred sands. Ex. Alice, Ap. Alice, and Alice clones #2 & 3 all make it to the small jagged rock formation while the rest of the Alice’s are getting close along with SSJ4 Gogeta who is quickly making up time as he flies over to the Alice’s to share in what they hope will be a haven of safety. It is inevitably this patterned quick running thru the sands that attracts the great worm though as it opens it’s enormous razor-lined mouth and consumes Alice, & Alice clones #1 & 3. Gogeta bravely flies into the mouth of the treacherous beast charging up one of his powerful attacks but it is useless against the sheer size and strength of the worm which consumes him like a fish of the sea would consume microscopic plankton. While the Fremen move toward the clan of force users consisting of Darth Nutz and the 2 C’baoths, The Myrmidons storm the rock outcropping where the remaining Alices are hold out. Amon Sur, who had been waiting patiently on his own flies in quick leaving a stream of yellow energy in his wake toward Surtur. But from up in the air Gen. Zod gathers his super-powered force of himself, Non, Mandarin, & Hyperion and decides that it is time for them to dispose of the meddlesome Sandworm no matter how imposing of a figure it may seem to be. Zod cares very little of the god-like implications given to the mighty beast of the desert known as Shai Halud to the natives of this barely livable planet as he leads the charge against it. He first keeps his distance and uses his heat vision to singe the thick walled skin of the worm while Non flies in behind him, mimicking his every move. Hyperion flies in behind the beast and begins pounding his powerful fists into its back while Mandarin uses his various rings in a vain attempt to damage the beast. Mandarin first uses the ring on his left middle finger to create an electro blast but it does virtually nothing, he then tries to use the ring on his right little finger to block the creature into a wall of complete blackness but the maker just simply plows right thru this attack as well. It is not until Mandarin uses the ring on his left little finger to create an ice blast that the Wonder Team sees a noticeable effect on the worm. Even the ice itself does virtually nothing but once the ice created by Mandarin’s alien ring begins to melt on the skin of the worm the water which is toxic to the worm begins to melt away at the ultra thick skin. When the others see this he orders Mandarin to continue the use of the specific ring while they use their freeze breath to do the same. Even with all of this ice it is not enough to drown the worm but it does weaken the animal enough that once Zod, Non, & Hyperion all fly in at top speed toward the worm they are able to break thru the skin of the maker and kill it with an amazing display of sheer force. Once killed, the toxic substance known to the Fremen as the water of life burns the skin of even Hyperion and the Kryptonians but not enough to do any permanent damage. It is not everyday that a Jedi, a Dark Jedi, & a Sith Lord all team up with each other but that is exactly what Jorus C’baoth, his clone, and Darth Nutz do as they are rushed by the small mob of Fremen. With their Crysknives drawn the Fremen move quickly thru the desert sands running with no pattern in their steps just simply out of instinct to avoid awakening Shai Halud. Sheanna, though a skilled fighter, trained in all of the bene gesserit combat methods is quickly dispatched by Lord Nutz, but Gurney Halleck along with Fremen #32 & 35 dodge Jorus C’boath’s initial lightsaber swings and go in for the kill. Jorus takes out Fremen #35 but Gurney catches the Jedi Master underneath his chin, not with his crysknife but with his royal Atreides dagger that he was wielding with his other hand. The Insane clone Joruus C’baoth takes this as a great opportunity for attack as he hits the Atreides troubadour with a burst of force lightning and then goes in for the kill with his lightsaber. Joruus then swings back around and takes out Fremen #31 & 38 before Fremen #39 comes up from behind and slits his throat. Darth Nutz, still angered by the death of his master Darth Deez goes into a Sith rage and wipes out Fremen #36 & 39, before Fremen #32 allows his crysknife to taste the water of the Sith Lord’s body. Darkseid, Supergirl, Luke Skywalker, Superboy, & The Sentry finally land back down on the surface of Arrakis and join the battle. Dakken on his 4-wheeler rides up to act as Darkseid’s personal bodyguard (an honor he was bestowed with in the locker room by Darkseid himself). While a spice-addicted Juggernaut (former Murderfly) actually stops to take in the cinnamon flavored arid air of the homeland of Shai Halud. The Juggernaut races toward the rock out-cropping that the Alices are hiding in crashing into the wind-created structure causing an avalanche and blocking all but one small entrance, which is now the only way in or out of the area. This spot is also exactly where The Myrmidons are headed. While Julie & Chris’ tank blasts rock the rocky structure Achilles leads the charge with his select warriors doing their best to keep up. Ex. Alice stands out in front of her look-alikes ready to make her last stand; she jumps onto one of the rock ledges blasting away with her pistol and then comes down hard with her kukri right into the head of Taskmaster killing him instantly. She manages to it Sabertooth a couple of times in the arm and side but it is nothing that his healing factor can’t fix. Heston transforms back into his robot form and is met by the 2 Alice clones. They move around him quickly, but he opens fire with his arm mounted sub-machine gun. He manages to take out Alice Clone #3 but with a simple kick the 2nd clone knocks off his Exo-Suit helmet and than puts a hollow point into his head. She does not get to enjoy her victory for long though because Deadly little Miho uses her katana to gut the last of the Alice Clones, right before Ap. Alice breaks Miho’s neck with one of those knee around the head moves that the new movie directors seem to like so much. Sabertooth is recovering from his wound quickly at the same time that he is running toward Ap. Alice ready to rip her to shreds but he does not seem to get there in time because The Myrmidon leader Achilles is there to take off the head of Ap. Alice and then swing back around in the blink of an eye and do the dame to Ex. Alice, all while giving Sabertooth a dirty look for not being fast enough. Amon Sur blasts Surtur with a shot of yellow energy but it is not enough to take out the Asgardian. Amon Sur than flies in but Surtur brings down his fiery sword and destroys the yellow lantern. Surtur than quickly moves over to Skywalker and attempts a similar attack but Luke rolls out of the way gracefully. Luke than lifts his hand in the direction of the Norseman and with a flick of his wrist sends the flaming sword flying and quells the flames around Surtur. When the smoke clears there is nothing but what appears to be a weak looking old man laying in the sand that Luke quickly jumps in and dispatches with his lightsaber. Darkseid rushes toward Mandarin while he orders The Sentry to face off against Hyperion and allows the 4 Kryptonians to go at each other, with Archangel there to help out Superboy and Supergirl. Hyperion goes in fast toward The Sentry but the Sentry throws him down into the dunes below. The Sentry than flies down to follow up his attack but is met by a brutal uppercut from Hyperion. Hyperion than follows The Sentry up. Grabs a hold of him and fires him back down to the ground so hard that it sends him well into the depths of the amazingly deep sands of Arrakis and kills him. Hyperion flies back to help Zod and Non but is hit by Superboy’s heat vision. Hyperion tries to fight thru the pain but the heat is so intense that it begins to actually melt the super-powered being. It is unsure if the Kryptonian heat vision ever would have been enough to actually kill Hyperion but it was enough for Archangel to target the spot with his metal wings and fly right thru Hyperion cutting him in half. With a flick of his wrist Non knocks Archangel to the ground and than goes for Superboy. While these battles progress Supergirl and Zod are engaged in a fierce and fast paced battle far above the Arrakeen skyline. Non appears to be stronger than the teenage Kryptonian from the Prime universe but is definitely not more intelligent. Non manages to bring Superboy down to the ground but Superboy to some extent allows it to happen, due to the fact that he know they are going to the area where Luke is. Once they are there Luke can help Superboy take out Non which is exactly what they do. Luke force pushes the brute over while Superboy beats him into submission. They do this several times until Superboy does his new heat vision trick once again. While focusing on one specific spot to weaken it Luke then throws his lightsaber into the Kryptonian’s chest to finish him off. Mandarin is using his superior martial arts skills as well as the power gifted to him by his rings to evade the attacks of Darkseid. Darkseid seems to be on the offensive but in a stunning move Mandarin uses the ring on his right ring finger to send out a disintegration beam at Darkseid before Darkseid can get off his omega beam. The blast from this ring completely vaporizes Darkseid, but it leaves Mandarin not only extremely worn out but especially vulnerable with that ring needing about 20 minutes just to get back to a normally charged level. Dakkan, although already having failed his mission to protect Darkseid leaps off of his 4-Wheeler and digs all 6 of his claws into the back of Mandarin, completely gutting him. High in the air the deathless and undefeated Gen. Zod squares off against the former A.L. MVP Supergirl. As they trade blows with each other it appears that Zod is the stronger of the 2 but Supergirl seems to have an edge when it comes to speed. Zod attempts to bring his clenched fists down hard on Supergirl but she gets away from the attack just in the nick of time. She than flies around the Kryptonian general in a circle and gets up underneath his arms. Zod tries to squeeze the life out of her but cannot seem to get a handle on her or stop her from pushing up on his neck. The 2 of them are fighting so hard and putting themselves so deep into a state of exhaustion that when Supergirl hears the disgustingly loud sound of a popping Kryptonian vertebrate she has no idea which of the 2 of them were just killed, but when the people down on the dunes, see Zod’s lifeless body hit the ground, they knew that…….
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!
George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Right Wing
George Washington’s Slaves are Sandworm #15-20, Delta Squad: Sgt. Marcus Fenix, Dominic Santiago, Augustus “Cole Train” Cole, Damon Baird, Starship Trooper #1-30, Wild Man #1-6, Huckleberry Hound, & Kamilla the Chicken.
The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Sandstorm, Capt. Panaka, Zues, Flash, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, T-Rex #16 & 17, Soldier of Gondor #1-6, Goliath, Gold Dragon #10 & 11, Quinlon Vos, Warpath, Darth Malack, Shintor Beerus, Elephant #1-3, Titanium Man, Sand, Red Sonja.
Fenix yells to his men “alright everybody, I know you don’t all know me as well as my 4 Delta Squad members, but we are in this together, so if we are going to make it out of here alive you are all going to have to listen close. Now lets move, we can fortify our position and take some cover in the sand pit to our left”. “Sand Pit to our left, it looks to me like this whole planet is nothing but a sand pit”. His old friend Dom replies. Marcus answers him with “yeah, whatever quit complaining Dom, and Damon get me one of the leaders of that Trooper brigade they put under our command, maybe one of them can tell us what the hell is going on with this mission”. Damon replies with “Whatever you say boss, but I can’t imagine those guys know any more than we do, they don’t seem to bright to me, but I will say this: I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on some of that tech those guys got. Did you see those guys in practice. They jump like 40 feet in the air”. “Yeah that’s great, just make it happen”. Fenix barks. In a matter of minutes Starship Trooper #1 (with Huckleberry Hound on his back) comes running up to Marcus Fenix and says “you wanted to see me sergeant”. Fenix replies with “that’s right soldier, I need you to tell us what the hell is going on on this planet”. “Well sergeant what has Gen. Washington already told you”. “Washington hasn’t said anything to me yet. I just got thrown in charge of this team and I’m assuming that there are going to be some guys for us to kill”. “Yeah come on is this our whole team or what”? Cole chimes in with. In a slightly more relaxed tone Dom says to the trooper and Huckleberry “have you guys been on this team long”. Trooper #1 says “Yes we have, since the beginning before we even got our desert power from the Murderflies”. “What the hell is a Murderfly and what is desert power”. Marcus asks. Huckleberry Hound looks at the Trooper that is holding him and says “holy crap these guys don’t even know about our Sandworms”. “No kidding” the trooper says “we are gonna need them against this team”. Fenix gets a concerned look on his face and says “Whoa, wait a minute. What exactly are we up against here”. The trooper looks puzzled and says “how don’t you guys know what’s going on. I know that you are all rookies but didn’t you do any research on the teams before you got drafted”. Damon Baird answers for the sergeant with “we don’t even know what the draft is, Assistant Coach Robert E. Lee told us that we were chosen off-list, whatever the hell that means. Now are you gonna tell us what we are up against or not”. The trooper tells them “Well, I’ll try to be quick. This team that we are going up against is called the Right Wing, and they got the Right Stuff, let me tell you. They got this huge green shirtless dude who can lift like 100 tons and then they got this silver dude who flies around on a surf board and blows stuff up”. Cole replies with “yeah, I bet and last night that Arisia chick in the locker room with the green ring told me that I got the biggest”……………. Just than Silver Surfer zooms by at an amazing rate of speed, sending sand flying in every direction and quelling the disbelief of Delta Squad. “We move out”! Fenix screams to his men, who all fall into formation behind him. Fenix yells “Crazy guys, you’re the first wave”. “That’s Wild Men” Huckleberry Hound says to correct him. The 6 Wild Men with Kamilla riding on Wild Man #1’s back rush toward the 3 elephants and 6 Soldiers of Gondor. Wild Man #1 clubs Gondor Soldier #1 in the head to kill him but the remaining soldiers kill both him, Kamilla, and Wild Man #5. The 4 remaining Wild Men go wild on Elephant #1 bringing it to the ground but they are then trampled to death by the 2 remaining elephants. “Screw this, I’m going in” Cole yells as he rushes into the fray leading the 7 troopers that were put under his command by Fenix (#17-23). Augustus, along with his squad begin cutting thru the ranks of the Right Wing, as they throw caution to the wind on their all out attack. They quickly take out Gondor Soldiers #2 & 6, Red Sonja, Elephant #2, & T-Rex #17 with their high powered laser rifles while Augustus is shooting wildly and yelling “Yeah baby you’re ridin The Cole Train now. I’m the biggest & baddest thing this team has got to offer”. Cole feels an amazing sense of pride as he sees The Right Wing fleeing from him with looks of indescribable fright on their faces as he is saying this. Because in his excitement, he has no idea that 3 worms, each the size of Providence, Rhode Island have just popped out of the sand behind him. The mighty Shai Halud sends its enormous bodies sailing into the air in a show that is a truly amazing sight for the people below it, but when they come down with their exposed razor sharp teeth that would be made into crysknifes by the natives of the very planet we are witnessing; along with the mammoth bodies: Cole Train, his Starship Trooper Squad, the remaining T-Rexes & Soldiers of Gondor, both Gold Dragons, Warpath, the powerful possessors of the force Quinlon Vos & Darth Malack, and even Goliath; who is used to dwarfing his opponents is easily consumed by the rampaging makers of the desert. The remaining 3 members of Delta Squad, Huckleberry Hound, and the remaining 23 Starship Troopers scatter as they witness the sheer might of what are supposedly their teammates. While Silver Surfer, Hulk, Zues, Flash, & Titanium Man regroup in a small mountainous area to try to formulate an attack. Capt. Panaka, Duncan Idaho, Sand & Jedi Master Shintor Beerus managed to hop into the transformed Sandstorm in his Dune Buggy form and barely escape with their lives as well. Zues speaks to his team with a confidence that only a leader of gods can possess but even in the back of his Mt. Olympian bred mind he is unsure if the incredible beasts that they just witnessed can actually be destroyed. Silver Surfer flies off on his own with Flash bursting off in the other direction by himself as well, while Zues leads Hulk and Titanium Man back to the spot of the original attack. Sandstorm rips thru the dunes with no desire or plausible plan to defeat the massive creatures that they just witnessed. Instead the Autobot and its 4 passengers loop back around to attempt a sneak attack on the rest of the Slaves. Sgt. Marcus Fenix is just getting his troops back in order when Sandstorm comes crashing thru the dunes behind them. Sand falls out of the transformer on purpose and morphs together with the sand around him. He sends such a huge burst of sand onto the troopers that it engulfs them in their surroundings and suffocates them inside their well-armored suits. Sand manages to take out 6 troopers before the rest of the troopers unload there high tech, futuristic blast rifles into Sandman’s former sidekick and burn him to the last molecule. Shintor Beerus and Duncan Idaho run side by side with each other toward their enemies. Neither Delta Squad, nor the Starship Troopers would have ever thought that 2 men with nothing but melee attacks could have inflicted so much damage on them but with Shintor Beerus’ lightsaber blazing and Duncan Idaho’s sword slicing they do significant damage to the troopers ranks. Duncan manages to take out Sgt. Marcus Fenix along with 3 Starship Troopers, including Trooper #1 and Huckleberry Hound while Beerus kills Dom and 3 Troopers himself as well. But the two skilled swordsmen eventually succumb to the superior fire power of The Starship Troopers. Capt. Panaka stays close to Sandstorm, who is now in his robot form. Sandstorm mows down 2 Starship Troopers and Capt. Panaka kills Damon Baird with a perfectly aimed shot, proving that he is the best shot with a blaster on Arrakis as well as Naboo, but when Sandworm #19 rips thru the dunes below them and then comes back down the sands show virtually no trace of the epic battle that just took place or any of the combatants involved in it. Zues and Titanium Man fly headlong into the massive Sandworm #16 with Hulk leaping along next to them. Titanium Man is of little help as he is brushed aside, and knocked to the ground by the thick skin of the maker and then crushed underneath its mammoth body as if he were Tupperware Man. The god of Thunder conjures up an amazing show of lightning that splits open the side of the Sandworm and partially exposes the massive worm. Hulk than leaps onto the back of the worm to exploit its injury and then stomps his powerful feet right thru the worms skin. Zues takes to the air and then once again conjures every bit of his godly power into the worm sending a bolt of such power into the worm that it actually kills it. Silver Surfer and Flash are moving at incredible speeds next to each other when they split off and both head toward different worms. The 2 speedsters both have similar plans as they travel directly in to the mouths of the beasts. Silver Surfer evades the teeth and then travels thru the body of the great worm and then with an amazingly powerful blast of Cosmic energy blasts his way out of the worm’s thick wall of skin, freeing himself from the worm, and killing it all at the same time. Flash’s plan was similar except that it entailed him vibrating thru the worm’s body, the part that was dissimilar was that unlike Silver Surfer’s plan: it didn’t work. Flash did make it thru the teeth and into the stomach of the maker but once Shai Halud had the hero inside his mighty gullet he was not permitted to leave. Zues and Hulk move on to Sandworm #20 but they do not seem to have the same luck as they had before. Zues once again conjures up his power but the power is wasted when the maker dives back below the dunes for its own safety. When the mighty worm pops back up it snatches the King of Mt. Olympus in its mouth. On its way to retreating back into the sand Hulk grabs on to the back of the worm but the maker continues to dive deeper and deeper into the sand. Even the amazing durability of the Hulk cannot withstand the pressures or the sheer depth of Arrakis which inevitably suffocates the green goliath. Silver Surfer rips thru the airways knowing that his plan, though difficult is working. The Surfer waits for another worm to resurface and then attempts the same trick as before. Once again Silver Surfer flies into the mouth of the huge worm but this time when he does, the very worm that he is inside is attacked by 2 of the other extremely territorial worms. Silver Surfer could have possibly been successful again if the very worm he was inside was not destroyed by the its worm brethren after this battle thrust them all it what to a worm is quarters that are much to close for comfort.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Sandstorm, Capt. Panaka, Zues, Flash, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, T-Rex #16 & 17, Soldier of Gondor #1-6, Goliath, Gold Dragon #10 & 11, Quinlon Vos, Warpath, Darth Malack, Shintor Beerus, Elephant #1-3, Titanium Man, Sand, Red Sonja.
Fenix yells to his men “alright everybody, I know you don’t all know me as well as my 4 Delta Squad members, but we are in this together, so if we are going to make it out of here alive you are all going to have to listen close. Now lets move, we can fortify our position and take some cover in the sand pit to our left”. “Sand Pit to our left, it looks to me like this whole planet is nothing but a sand pit”. His old friend Dom replies. Marcus answers him with “yeah, whatever quit complaining Dom, and Damon get me one of the leaders of that Trooper brigade they put under our command, maybe one of them can tell us what the hell is going on with this mission”. Damon replies with “Whatever you say boss, but I can’t imagine those guys know any more than we do, they don’t seem to bright to me, but I will say this: I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on some of that tech those guys got. Did you see those guys in practice. They jump like 40 feet in the air”. “Yeah that’s great, just make it happen”. Fenix barks. In a matter of minutes Starship Trooper #1 (with Huckleberry Hound on his back) comes running up to Marcus Fenix and says “you wanted to see me sergeant”. Fenix replies with “that’s right soldier, I need you to tell us what the hell is going on on this planet”. “Well sergeant what has Gen. Washington already told you”. “Washington hasn’t said anything to me yet. I just got thrown in charge of this team and I’m assuming that there are going to be some guys for us to kill”. “Yeah come on is this our whole team or what”? Cole chimes in with. In a slightly more relaxed tone Dom says to the trooper and Huckleberry “have you guys been on this team long”. Trooper #1 says “Yes we have, since the beginning before we even got our desert power from the Murderflies”. “What the hell is a Murderfly and what is desert power”. Marcus asks. Huckleberry Hound looks at the Trooper that is holding him and says “holy crap these guys don’t even know about our Sandworms”. “No kidding” the trooper says “we are gonna need them against this team”. Fenix gets a concerned look on his face and says “Whoa, wait a minute. What exactly are we up against here”. The trooper looks puzzled and says “how don’t you guys know what’s going on. I know that you are all rookies but didn’t you do any research on the teams before you got drafted”. Damon Baird answers for the sergeant with “we don’t even know what the draft is, Assistant Coach Robert E. Lee told us that we were chosen off-list, whatever the hell that means. Now are you gonna tell us what we are up against or not”. The trooper tells them “Well, I’ll try to be quick. This team that we are going up against is called the Right Wing, and they got the Right Stuff, let me tell you. They got this huge green shirtless dude who can lift like 100 tons and then they got this silver dude who flies around on a surf board and blows stuff up”. Cole replies with “yeah, I bet and last night that Arisia chick in the locker room with the green ring told me that I got the biggest”……………. Just than Silver Surfer zooms by at an amazing rate of speed, sending sand flying in every direction and quelling the disbelief of Delta Squad. “We move out”! Fenix screams to his men, who all fall into formation behind him. Fenix yells “Crazy guys, you’re the first wave”. “That’s Wild Men” Huckleberry Hound says to correct him. The 6 Wild Men with Kamilla riding on Wild Man #1’s back rush toward the 3 elephants and 6 Soldiers of Gondor. Wild Man #1 clubs Gondor Soldier #1 in the head to kill him but the remaining soldiers kill both him, Kamilla, and Wild Man #5. The 4 remaining Wild Men go wild on Elephant #1 bringing it to the ground but they are then trampled to death by the 2 remaining elephants. “Screw this, I’m going in” Cole yells as he rushes into the fray leading the 7 troopers that were put under his command by Fenix (#17-23). Augustus, along with his squad begin cutting thru the ranks of the Right Wing, as they throw caution to the wind on their all out attack. They quickly take out Gondor Soldiers #2 & 6, Red Sonja, Elephant #2, & T-Rex #17 with their high powered laser rifles while Augustus is shooting wildly and yelling “Yeah baby you’re ridin The Cole Train now. I’m the biggest & baddest thing this team has got to offer”. Cole feels an amazing sense of pride as he sees The Right Wing fleeing from him with looks of indescribable fright on their faces as he is saying this. Because in his excitement, he has no idea that 3 worms, each the size of Providence, Rhode Island have just popped out of the sand behind him. The mighty Shai Halud sends its enormous bodies sailing into the air in a show that is a truly amazing sight for the people below it, but when they come down with their exposed razor sharp teeth that would be made into crysknifes by the natives of the very planet we are witnessing; along with the mammoth bodies: Cole Train, his Starship Trooper Squad, the remaining T-Rexes & Soldiers of Gondor, both Gold Dragons, Warpath, the powerful possessors of the force Quinlon Vos & Darth Malack, and even Goliath; who is used to dwarfing his opponents is easily consumed by the rampaging makers of the desert. The remaining 3 members of Delta Squad, Huckleberry Hound, and the remaining 23 Starship Troopers scatter as they witness the sheer might of what are supposedly their teammates. While Silver Surfer, Hulk, Zues, Flash, & Titanium Man regroup in a small mountainous area to try to formulate an attack. Capt. Panaka, Duncan Idaho, Sand & Jedi Master Shintor Beerus managed to hop into the transformed Sandstorm in his Dune Buggy form and barely escape with their lives as well. Zues speaks to his team with a confidence that only a leader of gods can possess but even in the back of his Mt. Olympian bred mind he is unsure if the incredible beasts that they just witnessed can actually be destroyed. Silver Surfer flies off on his own with Flash bursting off in the other direction by himself as well, while Zues leads Hulk and Titanium Man back to the spot of the original attack. Sandstorm rips thru the dunes with no desire or plausible plan to defeat the massive creatures that they just witnessed. Instead the Autobot and its 4 passengers loop back around to attempt a sneak attack on the rest of the Slaves. Sgt. Marcus Fenix is just getting his troops back in order when Sandstorm comes crashing thru the dunes behind them. Sand falls out of the transformer on purpose and morphs together with the sand around him. He sends such a huge burst of sand onto the troopers that it engulfs them in their surroundings and suffocates them inside their well-armored suits. Sand manages to take out 6 troopers before the rest of the troopers unload there high tech, futuristic blast rifles into Sandman’s former sidekick and burn him to the last molecule. Shintor Beerus and Duncan Idaho run side by side with each other toward their enemies. Neither Delta Squad, nor the Starship Troopers would have ever thought that 2 men with nothing but melee attacks could have inflicted so much damage on them but with Shintor Beerus’ lightsaber blazing and Duncan Idaho’s sword slicing they do significant damage to the troopers ranks. Duncan manages to take out Sgt. Marcus Fenix along with 3 Starship Troopers, including Trooper #1 and Huckleberry Hound while Beerus kills Dom and 3 Troopers himself as well. But the two skilled swordsmen eventually succumb to the superior fire power of The Starship Troopers. Capt. Panaka stays close to Sandstorm, who is now in his robot form. Sandstorm mows down 2 Starship Troopers and Capt. Panaka kills Damon Baird with a perfectly aimed shot, proving that he is the best shot with a blaster on Arrakis as well as Naboo, but when Sandworm #19 rips thru the dunes below them and then comes back down the sands show virtually no trace of the epic battle that just took place or any of the combatants involved in it. Zues and Titanium Man fly headlong into the massive Sandworm #16 with Hulk leaping along next to them. Titanium Man is of little help as he is brushed aside, and knocked to the ground by the thick skin of the maker and then crushed underneath its mammoth body as if he were Tupperware Man. The god of Thunder conjures up an amazing show of lightning that splits open the side of the Sandworm and partially exposes the massive worm. Hulk than leaps onto the back of the worm to exploit its injury and then stomps his powerful feet right thru the worms skin. Zues takes to the air and then once again conjures every bit of his godly power into the worm sending a bolt of such power into the worm that it actually kills it. Silver Surfer and Flash are moving at incredible speeds next to each other when they split off and both head toward different worms. The 2 speedsters both have similar plans as they travel directly in to the mouths of the beasts. Silver Surfer evades the teeth and then travels thru the body of the great worm and then with an amazingly powerful blast of Cosmic energy blasts his way out of the worm’s thick wall of skin, freeing himself from the worm, and killing it all at the same time. Flash’s plan was similar except that it entailed him vibrating thru the worm’s body, the part that was dissimilar was that unlike Silver Surfer’s plan: it didn’t work. Flash did make it thru the teeth and into the stomach of the maker but once Shai Halud had the hero inside his mighty gullet he was not permitted to leave. Zues and Hulk move on to Sandworm #20 but they do not seem to have the same luck as they had before. Zues once again conjures up his power but the power is wasted when the maker dives back below the dunes for its own safety. When the mighty worm pops back up it snatches the King of Mt. Olympus in its mouth. On its way to retreating back into the sand Hulk grabs on to the back of the worm but the maker continues to dive deeper and deeper into the sand. Even the amazing durability of the Hulk cannot withstand the pressures or the sheer depth of Arrakis which inevitably suffocates the green goliath. Silver Surfer rips thru the airways knowing that his plan, though difficult is working. The Surfer waits for another worm to resurface and then attempts the same trick as before. Once again Silver Surfer flies into the mouth of the huge worm but this time when he does, the very worm that he is inside is attacked by 2 of the other extremely territorial worms. Silver Surfer could have possibly been successful again if the very worm he was inside was not destroyed by the its worm brethren after this battle thrust them all it what to a worm is quarters that are much to close for comfort.
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Warning List
Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & Prseident Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
Jar Jar Binks (9) (DEATH: The last thing hesa wantin)
Team Sleeping Pussy
Absorbing Man (8)
Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Darth Bane (7)
Le' Napoleon Brigade
Penguin (7)
Gandalf the Gray (7)
Silver Dragon #1 (9)
Silver Dragon #2 (8)
The Abomitrons
Jedi Knight #36 (8)
The Right Wing
Storm (7)
Jedi Knight #17 (7)
The Syracuse Valley
Soundwave (7)
Xenomorph #85 (9)
Xenomorph #86 (8)
Xenomorph #87 (8)
Xenomorph #88 (8)
Xenomorph #89 (8)
Xenomorph #90 (8)
Zit (7)
Rash (7)
Pimple (7)
Hammer Bros. #1 (9)
Little Goomba #2 (9)
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies
Marine #2 (9)
Marine #3, 6, 8-12 (7)
Marine #5 (8)
Heroes Without Homes Awareness Post
For those of you, who have extra space & wish to do your part to provide homes for some of our wayward heroes; here is who is available.
Undrafted: Season 1
Jan Dodonna
Ewok #52-74
Lobot
Nexu #1-5
Acklay #2-3
Riik #1-3
Bib Fortuna
Ephant Mon
Security Battle Droid #1-4
Battle Droid Officer #1-3
Storm Trooper Officer #1-3
Elite Storm Trooper #21-35
Scout Trooper #34-42
Adm. Ozzell
Capt. Needa
Moff Jeerejodd
Adm. Piett
Gen. Veers
Sebulba
Clone Trooper Sgt. #1-3
Dark Side Akolyte #19
Dark Side Adept #7-14
Seperatist Commando #1-6
Super Battle Droid Commander #1-2
Sith Lord #16-18
4-Lom & Zuckus
Super Battle Droid #3-26
Battle Droid #22-62
Daniel Whitwicky
Junkeon #13-26
Hubcap
Nightbird
Chip
Outback
Red Alert
Skids
Quintasson Inquisitor
Weirdwolf & Monzo
Theodred
Elven Soldier #16-33
Dwarf #3-18
Riders of Rohan #1-16
The Old Took
Dwalin
Bombur
Rivendale Elves #1-3
Hobbit #2-10
Isildor
Eagle #1-7
Arathorn
Elros
Elladan & Elrohir
Ori
Dori
Fili
Kili
Biffer
Boffer
Gramling
Thengal
Eoman
Woodland Elves #1-3
Peter Jackson
The Gaffer
Pony #4-17
Rohan Horse #41-45
Denethor
Wolves #1-4
Warg Riders #11-15
Troll #7-12
Evil Dwarves #13-16
Wild Men #8-28
Uruk Hai #65-80
Orc #21-110
Dragon #7 & 8
Balrog #6-7
Grishnack
Liet-Kynes
Fremen #58-79
Dr. Yueh
Bene Gesserit #8-26
Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #17-29
Honored Matre #8-20
New Sisterhood Reverend Mother#18-23
Baron Valdimir Harkonen
Harkonen Soldier #1-16
Sardakaur #25-66
Emperor Shaddam IV
Count Hasmir Fenring
Hayt
Duncan Idaho Ghola #8
Duncan Idaho Ghola #10
Duncan Idaho Ghola #11
Fish Dancer #1-16
Gaius Helen Mohiam
Jamis
Abulurd Harkonen
Pardot Kynes
Face Dancer #1-16
New Face Dancer #1-16
Tlielaxlu #9-13
Lost Tlielaxlu #1-6
Guild Navigator #1-4
Baron Valadimir Harkonen Ghola
Mentat #2-10
Futar #11-15
Ecazi Soldier #1-7
Ginaz Swordsmen #17-34
Ancient Ginaz Swordsmen #19-34
Thufir Hawat Ghola
Rhombur Vernius
Chani Ghola
Stilgar Ghola
Liet Kynes Ghola
Dr. Yueh Ghola
Lady Jessica Ghola
Uxtal & his clone
Iblis Gingo
Suerat
Salusan Soldier #1-6
Viceroy Manion Butler
Speed Demon
Kraven
Jigsaw
Mole Man
Black Condor
Fast Back
Black Racer
Harlequin
King Tut
The Jokers #1-7
Thunder & Lightning
Coco
Michael Moore
Don Knotts
Guns N' Roses (The Illusions Line-Up, not that crap that is touring now)
Jim Leyland
Kirk Gibson
Alan Trammell
Darko Milicheck
George S. Patton
Lemmy Koopa
Iggy Koopa
Larry Koopa
Ludwig Von Koopa
Waluigie
Hammer Bros. #17-33
Boomerang Bros. #11-16
Fire Bros. #11-16
Jiggly Puff
Wiggly Tuff
Mew
Mewtoo
Diglet
Blastois
A boy & his blob
Death Adder Jr.
Col. Bitter
Sgt. Malt & Sgt. Hop
Gen. Bitter
Gen. Heartland
Red Kooopa Troopa #1-13
Green Koopa Troopa #1-16
Abobo
Chin
Roper
Glass Joe
Little Mac
Shy Guy #1-13
Haggar
Guy
Buzzy Beetle #1-13
Betty Paige
Panthro
Tatsu
Foot Soldier #1-6
April O'Neil
Chloe (24)
George Mason
Big Jake, Sam Sharpnose, & Dog
John Conner
T-1 #1-3
Ian Malcom
Braciosaurus #4-10
Tanis the Half Elven
Riverwind
Purple Dragon #15-23
Griffin #17-23
Stryke's War Party
Forest Gump
Scotty
Zulu
Sherriff of Nottingham
Paris
Mercutio
Benvolio
Treasure Troll #16-24
Lady Jane
Scarlet
Flint
Goldar
Rita & Fenster
Fred Flinstone
Woodstock
Lucy
Leatherface
Daffy Duck
Donald Duck, Huey, Duey, & Louie
Detective Spooner
Skeletor's Crack Troops #16-20
Axel Foley
Benjamin Franklin Gates
Mike Mcdermott
Teddy KGB
Ice Man & Slider
The Scarecrow
Tin Man
The Cowardly Lion
The Mod Squad
Dr. Malocom Crowe
Federal Agent Gerard, U.S. Marshall
Mac & Blue
Cheese
Chris Matthews
Will Scarlet
Miss Piggy
Animal
Elmo
Cookie Monster
Red
Tim Speedle
Det. Yelina Salas
Ernst Stavro Blofeld
Dr. No
Gold Finger
Odd Job
Donald "Red" Grant
Francisco Scraramanga
Peter Washington
Roger Demarco
Stephen "Flyboy" Andrews
Pres. Thomas J. Whittemore
David Levinson
Capt. Jimmy Wilder
Gen. William Gray
Dick Larent
Bennett
Road Block
The Grinch & his Dog
Michael Beihn
Smurfette
Smurf #4-7
Jim Beam
Hartigan
Dwight
Lightning Mcqueen
Larry the Cable Guy
Dane Cook
DAve Attell
Col. Robert Neville
Marlon Brando
Eric Draven
Wayne & Garth
Undrafted Season 2
Elite Rebel Troooper #1-10
Jedi Guardian #5
Jedi Lightsaber Scientist #3-5
The good guy from Scanners (See A-30)
Naboo Security Officer #1-10
Bespin Guard #1-15
Rebel Pilot #1-5
Dewback #1-15
Kaadu #1-10
Krayt Dragon #3-5
Battle Droid Commander #1-10
Super Battle Droid Officer #1-10
Clone Trooper Commander #1-3
Clone Trooper Capt. #1-5
Clone Trooper Lt. #1-8
Aerial Clone Trooper Capt. #1-2
Aerial Clone Trooper Lt. #1-3
Sand Trooper #26-50
Aerial Clone Trooper #1-6
Sand Trooper Officer #1-5
Space Trooper #21-40
Space Trooper Officer #1-2
Snow Trooper Officer #1-5
Scout Trooper Officer #1-55
Odee Mandrell
Force Adept #1-20
Failed Jedi #11-20
Imperial Guards #1-10
Senate Guards #1-10
Tie Fighter Pilot #1-5
Genosian #1-10
Tusken Raider #1-30
Jawa #12-20
Col. Sanders
Bodyguard Droids #1-10
Blue Streak
Gears
Top Spin & Twin Twist
Quick Switch
Trail Breaker
Whirl
Hard Head & Duros
Hybrow & Gort
Night Beat & Muzzle
Syrin & Quiq
Richard & Falstaff
Toshi Nakamora
Robinson Corusoe
Rogue Octo-Spiders #1-3
Octo-Spiders #1-5
Friday
Tessio
N.S.-1 #1-10
N.S.-2 #1-15
N.S.-3 #1-20
N.S.-4 #1-25
Webstor
Roboto
Cattra
Turbo
Ace
Dizzy Flores
Misfire & Aimless
(movie) Bugs #1-100
(book) Bugs #51-100
Runabout & Runamuck
The Return to Oz Crew
Gold Member
Frank Hebert
Brian Herbert & Kevin J. Anderson
Sir Didimus & Abrosius
Hoggle
Paul Crewe
Centaur #7-20
Haggrad
Dawn
Lorn
Anya
Insane Eddie
The Gentleman
The Mayor
Adam
The Nerd Trio
Wesley Wyndham Price
Saffron
Mac
Elephant #11-20
Army Green Beret #1-20
Army Ranger #1-20
Ronin #1-15
The Weasals
Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 (kid)
Matrix Sentinals #1-30
Miss Ivan
Magic Screen
John Cena
Paris
Duchovny
Hansel
Zoolander
Blue
Edgar Friendly
Cyrus the Virus
Simon Phoenix
Time Cop
Chauncy, Rip, Sheed, Ben, & The Bodacious Tay-Tay
SHIELD Agent #11-20
HYDRA Agent #1-20
Zangief
Female Sentinals #11-20
Dhalsim
Balrog
Sindel
Stryker
Kano
Mileena
Jade
Sheeva
Cymex
Sektor
Ermac
Drop List
(Some of these characters already have deaths, if you are interested in them let me know and I can look it up)
Ewok #76
Metroid #4, 5, 7, & 8
Bronze Dragon #7-10
Navy Sailor #31-57
Starship Trooper #31-50, 91-94
Sith Lord #5
Vampire #81-90
Snoopy
Gondor Soldier #31-50
Army Soldier #161-190
Astro Droid #13-16
Treasure Troll #27
Strom Trooper #1-14
Army Soldier #76-100
Clone Trooper #1-15
Dr. Wiley
ID4 Aliens #1-20
Perry White
Suk Doctor #6-18
Navy Sailor #100
Sentinal #31-39
Moritani Soldier #16-20
Nazgul #4's horse & fell beast
Nazgul #5's horse & fell beast
Nazgul #7's horse & fell beast
Storm Trooper #199-200
Nazgul #8's horse & fell beast
Twisted Mentat #10
Rabban Harkonen
Zombie #3-21
Rebel Trooper #1
Dark Jedi Master #14-30
T-Rex #11-15
Thinking Machine #9-13
Gold Dragon #9
Purple Dragon #11-12
Amazon #30-40
Dilophosaurus #7-10
Cave Troll #13-15
Snow Trooper #25
Clone Trooper #73-80
Army Soldier #191-200
Sardakaur #19-24
Velociraptor #24-30
Uruk Hai #31-40
Horse #46-50
Compy #97-100
Storm Trooper #149-198
Twisted Mentat #3-9
Storm Trooper #30-49
Little Goomba #65-100
Vampire #96-99
Goblin #91-100
Rebel Trooper #11, 48
Charmeleon
Mordor Horse #2-20
Rebel Trooper #50
Clone Trooper #16-25, 81-99
Storm Trooper #16-29
Army Soldier #34-55
Rebel Trooper #3-46
Orc #21, 66-69
Charlie's Angels
Evil Dwarf #7-10
Scrooge McDuck
Dozer #3
Amazon #25, 28, 29
Battle Droid #4-15
Uruk Hai #29-30
Storm Trooper #101-144
Compy #1-26
Velociraptor #16-20
Uruk Hai #20-27
Orc #20-65
Warg #7-20
Sentinal #19-30
Navy Sailor #58-59
Brian Kacynski
Ewok #48
Patrick Star
Amazon #26-27
Sentinal #40
Mr. Krabs
Jaws (Bond Villain)
Dozer #7, 10, 15
Uruk Hai #28
Elite Clone Trooper #18-20
Dozer #11-14
Smurf #10
Elite Clone Trooper #1-17
T-Rex #5-10
Battle Droid #16-19, 21
Storm Trooper #145-148
Blue Dragon #23-30
Darth Rage
Farimir
Piter De' Vries
Rhino
Man-Bat
Wario
Dengar
Bill Lambier
Ski-Bum
Amazon #19-24
Super Star Billy Grahm
Bruno Samartino
Harley Race
Col. Guy Gardner
Week 4: Death Match
Setting: Arrakis
Points: 800
Prize: Arwing
-Built Ford Tough Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
-The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons
-TEAM: Kryptonian Kal El & Thunder god Thor's "We Really Like Wearing Spandex" Throng of Adequacy Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Right Wing
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
-Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Points: 800
Prize: Arwing
-Built Ford Tough Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
-The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Abomitrons
-TEAM: Kryptonian Kal El & Thunder god Thor's "We Really Like Wearing Spandex" Throng of Adequacy Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Right Wing
-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Syracuse Valley
-Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
Alice’s Wonder Team vs. The Abomitrons
I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 3 Match: Alice’s Wonder Team vs. The Abomitrons.
Before the match I look to an island in the Atlantic Ocean; it is filled with palm trees and waterfalls. It is the locker room for Alice’s Wonder Team. The Team is General Zod, Non, Hyperion, SSJ4 Gogeta, Sharkticon #11-17, Surtur, Joruus C'Boath, War Machine and Goblin #26.
Zod: Let us make this quick. I have a press junket to appear at – after we go 3-0, that is.
Sharkticon # 16: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! A press junket for Zod! A press junket for Zod!
War Machine: Lock and load, brother!
Goblin: Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I cannot swim].
I then look to a small archipelago, only one mile away from Team’s island. The small land masses are banded together by sandbars; it is the locker room for The Abomitrons. The Abomitrons are Leviathan, Mario & Luigi, Sebastian the Crab, Phineas & Ferb w/ Perry, Abin Sur, Horri-bull and Kreb, Naboo Soldier #1-20, Cyborg Superman, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson), Chuck Norris, Yaddle w/ Jedi Padawan #33, Jedi Knight #36 and Hancock.
Chuck Norris: I am Chuck Norris. I am a warrior.
Hancock: That’s what I’m saying Chuck! Let’s rock!
Sebastian: I am ready for battle; claws and all!
Naboo Solider # 2 [whispers to Naboo Solider # 7]: If the crab dies, I get dibs on the meat.
Since the teams are in close proximity to one another I do not need to teleport them. I simply announce: LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!! The battle commences. . . .
On the Islands. . .
Zod picks up Goblin #26 and SSJ4 Gogeta. Non picks up Joruus. The Kryptonians bring their teammates to the Abomitrons’ location and drop them off in various areas of the sandbars’ shallow waters. Hyperion and War Machine, without carrying anyone, also take to the air.
As Gogeta and Goblin #26 are dropped off, they are met by the Abomitrons: Mario and Luigi, and Phineas and Ferb. Goblin, although hesitant in the shallow waters, still sees that he can quickly dispatch of his prey. Thus, the Tolkien monster lunges at Phineas and Ferb. The duo is quickly ripped apart by the Goblin’s ferocity. As the Goblin focuses on Mario and Luigi, it feels an extreme pain in its lower extremities. The pain comes from Perry, who is tearing at the Goblin’s left foot and Sebastian who is clawing the Goblin’s left foot. The Goblin, off balance, falls in the water.
Goblin: Waroo! Tombaka! [Translation: Can I get a little help here, please?]
Gogeta steps in on the action. He quickly smashes Sebastian under his foot, twists and jumps up, using the crustacean as a springboard. Gogeta then comes down with such force that he buries Perry’s head in the sand, killing the small mammal.
The Goblin rises from the shallow water and is faced by Norris, who comes upon the scene.
Norris: Sebastian was a close friend of Chuck Norris. You made Chuck Norris very angry. [Norris takes off his shirt. His perfect body glistens in the Ocean’s salty breeze]. Now, you shall die!
Norris begins doing a bunch of moves in preparation for his battle with Goblin #26. Just as he is ready to fight, Sharkticons # 11-17 spring out of the water and rip the icon apart.
Mario: Robotic-
Luigi: Land Sharks!!!
Mario and Luigi attempt to run away from the Sharkticons, but are too slow. The Sharkticons make mincemeat of the Mario Brothers.
As the Sharkticons look for other prey, Joruus is dropped off by Non. Joruus ignites his lightsaber and manages to destroy Sharkticons # 11-13 and 16. Yaddle, Jedi Padawan #33 and Jedi Knight #36 approach the cloned Jedi Master. Although Joruus is skilled, he has the arrogance of the original Jorus, which will be his downfall.
Joruus: I will take all of you on. . . at the same time, no less[motions with hand for the Abomitrons to enter combat].
The lightsaber wielders begin a furious match, showing both the skills and determination of the combatants. Although Joruus manages to kill Padawan #33 and Knight #36, Yaddle is victorious and kills the clone.
Back to the Sharkticons. . .
The Sharkticons are met by Horri-bull and Kreb. The Transformer headmaster bull monster manages to destroy Sharkticons #14 and 15. As the headmaster is about to finish Sharkticon #17, War Machine and Hyperion use all of their weapons and abilities on the Transformer and destroy it. Machine and Hyperion then fly away.
Sharkticon #17 runs and meets up with Goblin #26.
Sharkticon #17: Get on my back and we will swim away to recoup our strength!
Goblin #26: Yamdeero! Uffreay! Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I said it before. I’ll say it again. I cannot swim!].
Sharkticon knows that he will keep Goblin #26 safe whether the beast can swim or not. It knows that to survive, they must leave now. Sharkticon grabs Goblin #26 and jumps in the water. . . straight into the mouth of the Leviathan, which has been watching and waiting for its prey. The Transformer and Goblin do not notice they have gone into the beast’s mouth until it is too late.
Goblin #26: Boorew! Huatha! Nontotha! [Translation: This is a fine mess you have gotten us into!]
Goblin #26 and Sharkitcon slowly head to their deaths in the Leviathan’s stomach.
Archipelago Beach. . .
Gogeta is still on the small islets. He attempts to signal one of his teammates in the air to get him off of the island since there are too many enemies still remaining. Before he can be flown off the shore, he is met with Naboo Soldiers #1-20. The Soldiers all have their weapons drawn. Although Gogeta manages to take out Naboo Soldiers #1, 4-8 and 12-17, the remaining Soldiers manage to shoot and kill Gogeta. After Gogeta’s death, the sand underneath the Soldiers’ feet bursts forth. Surtur, the huge fire demon, rises from the ground. He has barreled his way underneath the shore from his island to the isles. Surtur smiles and easily dispels of all remaining Naboo Soldiers, being Naboo Soldiers # 2,3, 9-11, and 18-20. Thus, all Naboo are now dead.
Yaddle, along with Batman and Robin, face Surtur. Yaddle ignites his lightsaber and Batman and Robin unleash all of their bat weapons on the demon. Although the demon is injured by their efforts, Surtur uses its magical abilities to finish off Yaddle, Batman and Robin. As Surtur turns around to focus his attention on his other enemies, the Leviathan comes out of the water. Like the Sharkticons’ surprise earlier on Chuck Norris, the Leviathan surprises Surtur and manages to get a hold of Surtur. The Leviathan carries Surtur to the icy depths of the Atlantic Ocean; Surtur, steam rising, perishes.
Above the Isles. . .
The match has come down to the heavyweights. For the Abomitrons are Leviathan, Cyborg Superman, Abin Sur and Hancock. For Alice’s Wonder Team are General Zod, Non, Hyperion and War Machine.
War Machine focuses on Abin Sur. War Machine unleashes a volley of missiles, which Sur manages to block using his Lantern ring. Sur then creates a large hammer which strikes War Machine and causes him to plummet to the icy waters below. Before War Machine hits the water, the Leviathan springs forth and opens its mouth. War Machine is swallowed whole. He will join his teammates in the Leviathan’s belly.
Inside the Leviathan. . .
Sharkticon #17: Hey, War Machine joins us!!!
Goblin #26: Viejo! Decoct! Omnis! [Translation: He joins us in death. . . you sardine can!
In the air. . .
Hyperion and Hancock are in a sky fight. Hancock manages to “throw down” with Hyperion for a lengthy period of time. Nonetheless, Hyperion eventually gets the upper hand by using his freezing breath on Hancock. Hancock, momentarily unable to move, is then struck by Non in the head. The force of the blow crushes Hancock’s skull. Hancock falls to the waters below, dead.
Surface of water. . .
Zod and Non are in a pitched battle with the Leviathan. Although the Leviathan is a formidable beast, it is no match for the Krypton Ian duo. Zod and Non use their heat vision to burn holes in the Leviathan’s skin. The Leviathan, sensing that the two are too much of a match for it, dives into the icy waters. Zod and Non follow the beast and use their frost breath to freeze the Leviathan in a block of ice. The block of ice sinks the Leviathan to the bottom of the ocean where it dies.
In the air. . .
Non and Zod burst from the waters and are met by Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Abin Sur uses his ring to encase Non. Although the encasement does not last long, it is enough time for Cyborg Superman to strike Non. Non hurtles to the water. Cyborg Superman follows and is relentless in his crushing blows to the Phantom Zonian. Eventually, Cyborg Superman does enough damage to Non that his heart stops. Non dies.
Hyperion joins the fray. Thus, it is now Zod and Hyperion against Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Sur manages to deflect the repeated blows of Zod, but only for so long. Zod eventually gets the better of the Lantern and kills him. Hyperion and Zod then gang up on Cyborg Superman. Although it takes close to an hour of relentless bloodletting, Cyborg Superman is eventually killed by the two “supermen.”
The Abomitrons: All dead.
Alice’s Wonder Team: General Zod and Hyperion alive.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
Before the match I look to an island in the Atlantic Ocean; it is filled with palm trees and waterfalls. It is the locker room for Alice’s Wonder Team. The Team is General Zod, Non, Hyperion, SSJ4 Gogeta, Sharkticon #11-17, Surtur, Joruus C'Boath, War Machine and Goblin #26.
Zod: Let us make this quick. I have a press junket to appear at – after we go 3-0, that is.
Sharkticon # 16: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! A press junket for Zod! A press junket for Zod!
War Machine: Lock and load, brother!
Goblin: Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I cannot swim].
I then look to a small archipelago, only one mile away from Team’s island. The small land masses are banded together by sandbars; it is the locker room for The Abomitrons. The Abomitrons are Leviathan, Mario & Luigi, Sebastian the Crab, Phineas & Ferb w/ Perry, Abin Sur, Horri-bull and Kreb, Naboo Soldier #1-20, Cyborg Superman, Batman and Robin (Dick Grayson), Chuck Norris, Yaddle w/ Jedi Padawan #33, Jedi Knight #36 and Hancock.
Chuck Norris: I am Chuck Norris. I am a warrior.
Hancock: That’s what I’m saying Chuck! Let’s rock!
Sebastian: I am ready for battle; claws and all!
Naboo Solider # 2 [whispers to Naboo Solider # 7]: If the crab dies, I get dibs on the meat.
Since the teams are in close proximity to one another I do not need to teleport them. I simply announce: LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!!!! The battle commences. . . .
On the Islands. . .
Zod picks up Goblin #26 and SSJ4 Gogeta. Non picks up Joruus. The Kryptonians bring their teammates to the Abomitrons’ location and drop them off in various areas of the sandbars’ shallow waters. Hyperion and War Machine, without carrying anyone, also take to the air.
As Gogeta and Goblin #26 are dropped off, they are met by the Abomitrons: Mario and Luigi, and Phineas and Ferb. Goblin, although hesitant in the shallow waters, still sees that he can quickly dispatch of his prey. Thus, the Tolkien monster lunges at Phineas and Ferb. The duo is quickly ripped apart by the Goblin’s ferocity. As the Goblin focuses on Mario and Luigi, it feels an extreme pain in its lower extremities. The pain comes from Perry, who is tearing at the Goblin’s left foot and Sebastian who is clawing the Goblin’s left foot. The Goblin, off balance, falls in the water.
Goblin: Waroo! Tombaka! [Translation: Can I get a little help here, please?]
Gogeta steps in on the action. He quickly smashes Sebastian under his foot, twists and jumps up, using the crustacean as a springboard. Gogeta then comes down with such force that he buries Perry’s head in the sand, killing the small mammal.
The Goblin rises from the shallow water and is faced by Norris, who comes upon the scene.
Norris: Sebastian was a close friend of Chuck Norris. You made Chuck Norris very angry. [Norris takes off his shirt. His perfect body glistens in the Ocean’s salty breeze]. Now, you shall die!
Norris begins doing a bunch of moves in preparation for his battle with Goblin #26. Just as he is ready to fight, Sharkticons # 11-17 spring out of the water and rip the icon apart.
Mario: Robotic-
Luigi: Land Sharks!!!
Mario and Luigi attempt to run away from the Sharkticons, but are too slow. The Sharkticons make mincemeat of the Mario Brothers.
As the Sharkticons look for other prey, Joruus is dropped off by Non. Joruus ignites his lightsaber and manages to destroy Sharkticons # 11-13 and 16. Yaddle, Jedi Padawan #33 and Jedi Knight #36 approach the cloned Jedi Master. Although Joruus is skilled, he has the arrogance of the original Jorus, which will be his downfall.
Joruus: I will take all of you on. . . at the same time, no less[motions with hand for the Abomitrons to enter combat].
The lightsaber wielders begin a furious match, showing both the skills and determination of the combatants. Although Joruus manages to kill Padawan #33 and Knight #36, Yaddle is victorious and kills the clone.
Back to the Sharkticons. . .
The Sharkticons are met by Horri-bull and Kreb. The Transformer headmaster bull monster manages to destroy Sharkticons #14 and 15. As the headmaster is about to finish Sharkticon #17, War Machine and Hyperion use all of their weapons and abilities on the Transformer and destroy it. Machine and Hyperion then fly away.
Sharkticon #17 runs and meets up with Goblin #26.
Sharkticon #17: Get on my back and we will swim away to recoup our strength!
Goblin #26: Yamdeero! Uffreay! Arrgha! Oooompherie! [Translation: I said it before. I’ll say it again. I cannot swim!].
Sharkticon knows that he will keep Goblin #26 safe whether the beast can swim or not. It knows that to survive, they must leave now. Sharkticon grabs Goblin #26 and jumps in the water. . . straight into the mouth of the Leviathan, which has been watching and waiting for its prey. The Transformer and Goblin do not notice they have gone into the beast’s mouth until it is too late.
Goblin #26: Boorew! Huatha! Nontotha! [Translation: This is a fine mess you have gotten us into!]
Goblin #26 and Sharkitcon slowly head to their deaths in the Leviathan’s stomach.
Archipelago Beach. . .
Gogeta is still on the small islets. He attempts to signal one of his teammates in the air to get him off of the island since there are too many enemies still remaining. Before he can be flown off the shore, he is met with Naboo Soldiers #1-20. The Soldiers all have their weapons drawn. Although Gogeta manages to take out Naboo Soldiers #1, 4-8 and 12-17, the remaining Soldiers manage to shoot and kill Gogeta. After Gogeta’s death, the sand underneath the Soldiers’ feet bursts forth. Surtur, the huge fire demon, rises from the ground. He has barreled his way underneath the shore from his island to the isles. Surtur smiles and easily dispels of all remaining Naboo Soldiers, being Naboo Soldiers # 2,3, 9-11, and 18-20. Thus, all Naboo are now dead.
Yaddle, along with Batman and Robin, face Surtur. Yaddle ignites his lightsaber and Batman and Robin unleash all of their bat weapons on the demon. Although the demon is injured by their efforts, Surtur uses its magical abilities to finish off Yaddle, Batman and Robin. As Surtur turns around to focus his attention on his other enemies, the Leviathan comes out of the water. Like the Sharkticons’ surprise earlier on Chuck Norris, the Leviathan surprises Surtur and manages to get a hold of Surtur. The Leviathan carries Surtur to the icy depths of the Atlantic Ocean; Surtur, steam rising, perishes.
Above the Isles. . .
The match has come down to the heavyweights. For the Abomitrons are Leviathan, Cyborg Superman, Abin Sur and Hancock. For Alice’s Wonder Team are General Zod, Non, Hyperion and War Machine.
War Machine focuses on Abin Sur. War Machine unleashes a volley of missiles, which Sur manages to block using his Lantern ring. Sur then creates a large hammer which strikes War Machine and causes him to plummet to the icy waters below. Before War Machine hits the water, the Leviathan springs forth and opens its mouth. War Machine is swallowed whole. He will join his teammates in the Leviathan’s belly.
Inside the Leviathan. . .
Sharkticon #17: Hey, War Machine joins us!!!
Goblin #26: Viejo! Decoct! Omnis! [Translation: He joins us in death. . . you sardine can!
In the air. . .
Hyperion and Hancock are in a sky fight. Hancock manages to “throw down” with Hyperion for a lengthy period of time. Nonetheless, Hyperion eventually gets the upper hand by using his freezing breath on Hancock. Hancock, momentarily unable to move, is then struck by Non in the head. The force of the blow crushes Hancock’s skull. Hancock falls to the waters below, dead.
Surface of water. . .
Zod and Non are in a pitched battle with the Leviathan. Although the Leviathan is a formidable beast, it is no match for the Krypton Ian duo. Zod and Non use their heat vision to burn holes in the Leviathan’s skin. The Leviathan, sensing that the two are too much of a match for it, dives into the icy waters. Zod and Non follow the beast and use their frost breath to freeze the Leviathan in a block of ice. The block of ice sinks the Leviathan to the bottom of the ocean where it dies.
In the air. . .
Non and Zod burst from the waters and are met by Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Abin Sur uses his ring to encase Non. Although the encasement does not last long, it is enough time for Cyborg Superman to strike Non. Non hurtles to the water. Cyborg Superman follows and is relentless in his crushing blows to the Phantom Zonian. Eventually, Cyborg Superman does enough damage to Non that his heart stops. Non dies.
Hyperion joins the fray. Thus, it is now Zod and Hyperion against Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur. Sur manages to deflect the repeated blows of Zod, but only for so long. Zod eventually gets the better of the Lantern and kills him. Hyperion and Zod then gang up on Cyborg Superman. Although it takes close to an hour of relentless bloodletting, Cyborg Superman is eventually killed by the two “supermen.”
The Abomitrons: All dead.
Alice’s Wonder Team: General Zod and Hyperion alive.
ALICE’S WONDER TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!!!
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