Pop Superstar Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos are Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Gen. Grievous, The Colonial Marines: Apone, Hicks, Gorman, Bishop, Ferro, Dietrich, Hudson, Spunkmeyer, Vasquez, Drake, Frost, Crowe, & Wierzbowski, Ellen Ripley, Agamemnon & Juno, Xerxes, Dante, Tllaloc, Octane, Tracks, Rodimus Prime, (movie) Blackout, Smokescreen, The Giant Insecticons: Venom, Ransack, Barrage, & Chop Shop, Vindicator, The Crew of Icarus 2 (with their ship), Dr. Doom, Frank Poole, HAL 9000, Angel, Worf, Bizarro, Black Adam, Parallax, Ben Kenobi & Astro-Droid #19 in an X-Wing, Nightmare, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Mary Marvel, Erasmus, Luminara Unduli & Barriss Offee, & Dozer #1.

Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is Queen Alien #1-10, Ursa, Mary Embrey, Metroplex, The Aerialbots, The Terrorcons, Eradicator, (movie) Bonecrusher, (movie) Barricade, Brainstorm & Arcana, Darth Bane, Apocalypse, T-X, Nemesis Enforcer, Gorilla Grodd, Reverse Flash, Dr. Octopus, Hobgoblin, Rick O'Connell, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Sailor Moon, & Marvin the Martian.

Ever since Dr. Doom’s press release, The Commandos have been walking on eggshells in the locker room. They all know that they have to prove their worth, otherwise will have to face the wrath of Doom. The Annihilation Squad arrives and quickly overshadows their opponents with their main weapon, Metroplex. “Fools. You think that this overgrow robot can defeat me? For I am Doom!” shouts the Latverian dictator. “Titans! Dismantle Metroplex!” On this order, The Commandos five Titans fly in and start firing on the enormous Autobot. Metroplex extends his huge arm and grabs Juno out of mid-air (or would it technically be mid-space?) and crushes her within in his mighty grasp. This is something very new and unusual for the Titans, since they themselves are extremely large robots, but are dwarfed by the sheer size of Metroplex. The rest of the Titans continue their assault, keeping their guns locked on Metroplex. The Aerialbots fly in to give him some aid, as he is taking on quite a bit of damage. Metroplex does however severely damage Dante with his dual ion pulse rifles. But that the squad doesn’t realize is that this is all part of Dr. Doom’s plan. The Icarus 2 flies in carrying its normal crew, but Frank Pool, Dozer #1 and the newly installed HAL 9000. They weave through the Titans/Autobots firefight, taking several wayward shots in the process, but luckily the powerful mirrors that cover the ship, deflect most of the blasts. “What the hell are we doing in the middle of this?!” yells Mace. “I’ve got no idea! I can’t control the ship!” replies Kaneda. “I’m sorry Kaneda. But I have assumed command of the Icarus 2. It’s part of our mission,” calmly states HAL 9000. It’s then when they all realize Doom has sent them on a suicide mission. “This is the most effective way, Kaneda,” says HAL. The Icarus 2 then maneuvers up Metroplex and dives right into his mouth. The giant Autobot then lurches forwards and snaps back in a blinding explosion caused by the nuclear device the Icarus 2 was carrying. The sheer force of the blast knocks everyone back for a moment and incinerates Nightmare, Sailor Moon and Vindicator in the process. Rodimus Prime then takes his team of Ms. Marvel, Worf and Ben Kenobi with Astro Droid #19 in an X-Wing to continue their team’s attack. Bonecrusher, Nemesis Enforcer, Gorilla Grodd, and Darth Bane then meet them. The overzealous Bonecrusher immediately attacks Rodimus Prime. The matured Hot Rod easily evades the Decepticon’s attack and counters it with a swift spin kick. Rodimus then takes aim and blows Bonecrusher away with his photon rifle. Worf, armed with his bat’leth, squares off against Nemesis Enforcer on a nearby asteroid. Both, masters of hand-to-hand combat, they attack each other with all of their might. Neither is landing many blows on the other, but Nemesis Enforcer manages to knock away Worf’s bat’leth with his gauntlets. He then kicks the Klingon down, who retaliates by firing his phaser at the Cobra-La strongman, but he manages to block it with his bat-like wings. As Worf gets back up on his feet, he is blasted from behind with Sith lightning, courtesy of Darth Bane. Nemesis Enforcer finishes him off by stomping on his neck. Ms. Marvel, then without warning blasts Rodimus Prime as hard as she can. “Carol! What are you doing?!” yells Rodimus. “I don’t know! I can’t control myself,” replies Ms. Marvel. She keeps blasting at Rodimus, who thus far has been able to block most of the attack. “Rodimus, It’s Grodd. He’s taken control of Ms. Marvel’s mind, I can sense it,” says Ben Kenobi. “I’ll take care of him.” Master Kenobi flies his X-Wing in and blasts the gorilla away, which severs his mental link with Ms. Marvel. Dr. Doom then blasts Ms. Marvel with a massive amount of energy, frying her completely. “What are you doing Doom?!” shouts Rodimus Prime. “Such weakness will not be tolerated on this team,” Dr. Doom sternly replies. “Obama will hear of this,” adds Ben Kenobi. “Oh, I am counting on it Master Jedi,” responds Doom. Meanwhile on a massive asteroid all of the non-fliers are battling it out. “Man did you see what Doom did to Ms. Marvel? That’s f*&%# up man,” says Hudson. “Just stay focused Private,” says Lt. Gorman. “Hey that’s just too bad, she was a nice piece of tail,” jokes Frost. Sgt. Apone snaps back “you secure that s#^! Soldier.” The Colonial Marines make their way through the jagged terrain with no enemies in sight. Ferro is then yanked into the shadows, never to be seen again. Dietrich then screams for a moment, before being silenced forever. They finally get a visual of their opponents, ten Queen Aliens. “Great. Another bug hunt,” grumbles Hicks. Vasquez and Drake jump up to point and manage to mow down Queen Alien #3 with their M56 Smart Guns. Bishop is grabbed by Queens #4 and 6 and ripped in half. Hicks and Apone target Queen #1 and open fire on it. They are able to injure it, but it whips its tail around and impales Apone. Hicks then gets right up underneath the Queen’s head and fires his Ithaca 37 pump action shotgun into its jaw. Unfortunately he is then showered with its acid blood, which eats away at his body, killing him. Queen Alien #2 makes quick work of Spunkmeyer by picking him up and biting his head clean off. Ripley then, being the ultimate badass that she is, grabs Hicks’s grenade launcher and fires it at Queen #10, blowing it away. Vasquez and Drake are keeping their guns locked on Queen #2, eventually taking it down, but they don’t see Queen Alien #6 sneaking up behind them. It bursts its second mouth/head thing through the back of Drake’s head while simultaneously driving its tail through Vasquez. Queen Aliens #7 – 9 surround Frost, Crowe and Wierzbowski and rip through them before they can even get a shot off. Now Gorman and Hudson regroup with Ripley as the six remaining Queen Aliens begin to converge on them. They all draw their weapons up, ready to fire in a final stand, but all of a sudden every single Queen Alien is split in half by a flurry of lightsabers. Once the remains of the Queens drop to the ground, they see the unlikely combination of General Grievous, Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee standing before them. “Whoa, thanks man,” says a relieved and surely soiled Hudson. “Do not thank me human. I only do as Doom orders,” Grievous snaps back as he leaves to find more victims. “Aaaarrrgggg!” screams both Gorman and Hudson as Marvin the Martian kills them with his disintegration ray. Luminara grabs him with the Force and Barriss cuts his bowling ball-like head off. Rick O’Connell has once again found himself battling a supernatural foe, this time it’s Angel. “How do I always get into these messes?” Rick asks himself as he fights off Angel. “You think you have it bad? One time, I got transformed into a muppet!” Angel quips back as he kicks O’Connell to the ground. The vampire then leaps on top on Rick, fangs drawn, and about to bite down for the kill, but lucky for O’Connell the floating asteroid is showered with sunlight, which vanquishes Angel and saves Rick’s ass. “Huh? Well that was easy,” Rick says to himself as he brushes of the dust that was once Angel. The Titans/Autobots firefight is still going strong. The Aerialbots are outmatched in power, but are much faster and are able to evade a lot of the Titans’s attacks. Fireflight hits the already damaged Dante with his firefog, which inflicts even more, and ultimately fatal damage to the Titan. Brainstorm and Arcana fly in to give the Aerialbots a hand, but Erasmus jumps onto Brainstorm and links into him. Brainstorm is then astonished and awestruck by the sheer intelligence of the Thinking Machine. He is the blindsided by several rockets fired from Agamemnon, which kills Erasmus, Brainstorm and Arcana. The Aerialbots finally merge to form Superion, and he immediately fires his electrostatic discharger rifle at Tllaloc, which shorts him out temporarily. Doom then orders the Titans to focus their attack on the seams where the five Aerialbots merge, which works, forcing them to split apart again. This time Blackout flies in and hits them all with an EMP blast, which stuns them all. The Titans seize this opportunity and fire several rockets, blowing the Aerialbots up. The Terrorcons quickly mobilize and attack the now exhausted Titans. Blot and Cutthroat claw at the weakened Tllaloc. Blot fires his slime gun, which starts eating through Tllaloc’s powerful armor. Cutthroat then fires his double-barreled magnetizer rifle, which causes the Titan’s armor to literally rip itself apart. Knowing that the Titans survival is a key component to victory, Dr. Doom sends the Deluxe Insecticons in to help. As Rippersnapper, Sinnertwin and Hun-Grr attack Agamemnon; Barrage leads the three other Insecticons and fires a non-stop stream of explosive energy bursts that knock the Terrorcons away from their teammates. The Terrorcons respond by forming Abominus, who grabs a hold of Ransack and pulls him apart at the legs as if he was a wishbone. Chop Shop and Venom both quickly fall as well to Abominus’s overwhelming strength. Ben Kenobi flies his X-Wing in and starts firing on the massive Decepticon, but is swatted down as if he were a fly. Rodimus Prime, along with Octane and Smokescreen all fly in to assist the Titans and Barrage with Abominus. Smokescreen fires his two shoulder-mounted missiles, Octane hits him with his liquid flamethrower, and Blackout hit Abominus with an EMP. This attack allows Agamemnon and Xerxes to blast Abominus with several missiles. Once the blasts clear, the Commandos see Abominus is barely scratched and is continuing his assault. He crushes Smokescreen with his bare hands. Dr. Doom then instructs Parallax to end this nuisance. Parallax flies in and bombards Abominus with an extreme amount of yellow energy, which obliterates the Terrorcons entirely. Reverse Flash, Dr. Octopus, and Hobgoblin are the jumped by General Grievous. Dr. Octopus attempts to ensnare the cyborg with his tentacles, but just ends up getting them cut off by Grievous’s four lightsabers, and is then killed. Hobgoblin blows off two of Grievous’s extra limbs with some pumpkin bombs before being run through by a lightsaber. Reverse Flash then runs and snatches up the two lightsabers that were being held by General Grievous’s missing limbs. He proceeds to zip all over the asteroid, dodging Grievous’s attacks and in the process cutting him apart piece by piece, until finally the cyborg is reduced to scrap. Reverse Flash tries to do the same to Luminara Unduli and Barriss Offee, but the Force allows them to see such an attack coming and they quickly spin their lightsabers around, slicing Reverse Flash in half. But now they find themselves surrounded by the rare sight of three Sith Lords. Darth Bane quietly waits as Darth Voltress and Darth Ocron rush in to attack the two Jedi. Luminara and her Jedi Padawan move together and engage the Sith slowly and gracefully and are able to cut Voltress and Ocron down with little hesitation. However the powerful Darth Bane would prove to be much more difficult. Bane targets the Padawan first with a brilliant and deadly, purple, blast of Sith lightning. In fact, the electric voltage of the lightning was so strong that Barriss died instantly upon contact and her body literally became burned and charred. Luminara then leaps at the Sith Lord with her lightsaber drawn and clashes with his. But that was exactly what Darth Bane hoped for. He crushes her hand with his strength, causing her to drop her lightsaber, and then wraps her in a bear hug and crushes her spine. He is then knocked off of his feet by a fast uppercut, courtesy of Mary Marvel. “Let’s see you try that on me!” she exclaims. And before he is able to get up onto his feet, she grabs him and flies as fast as she can towards the sun. She then serves the Sith Lord up to Black Adam who punches him hard, sending him into the sun. “Nicely done, Mary,” says Black Adam. “Now lets finish this fight.” This of course is easier said than done, as they are both knocked back by powerful blows from Ursa and Mary Embry. The two Mary’s fight ferociously as Black Adam squares off against the Kryptonian. Eradicator tries to fly in and tip the scales but is blindsided by Bizarro and Maxima. “You am Superman,” says Bizarro. “You am friend,” he says as he belts Eradicator in the face, shattering his 90’s style sunglasses. (seriously, those things were ridiculous looking.) Eradicator then fires his energy blasts at Maxima and well… eradicates her. Mary Marvel meanwhile has her hands full with Mary Embry. The two Mary’s fight tooth and nail. And I mean that, there’s actually a lot of scratching and biting in this showdown. The fight doesn’t end, until Mary Marvel grabs a hold of Mary Embry and shouts “SHAZAM!” and a lightning bolt shoots down from the heavens and fires right through Mary Embry, killing her. (Yeah I know… Lightning in space?? But it’s magic lightning, so it’s plausible.) Apocalypse, T-X and Barricade have engaged the remaining Transformers and Titans in battle. Apocalypse instantly shows why he is a premier force on Xavier’s Annihilation Squad by slicing Xerxes in half with his now changed blade arm. He then disposes of Tracks, Barrage and Blackout by blasting the fuel cargo of Octane, which obliterates all four of them. T-X attempts to override Agamemnon’s circuitry, but this plan backfires as Agamemnon, turns his lasers on his attacker and destroys the Terminator. Barricade tries to attack Rodimus Prime, but the Autobot leader is just too cunning for him. Barricade flails his tire and spike mace at him, but Rodimus dodges the attack and flips behind him, blasting him in the back at point blank range. Nemesis Enforcer flies over to try and aid Eradicator in his battle against Bizarro but is hit by a powerful bolt of yellow energy from Parallax, which disintegrates the warrior. Black Adam is beating back Ursa with all his might, but it is not killing her. She flies up and punches him right in the stomach, and then brings her elbows down onto his neck. Mary Marvel flies in and drop kicks the Kryptonian. It is unsure if Ursa would have killed Black Adam with her next blow (and I would assume she would have) but the combination of Mary Marvel and Black Adam is just too much for her to overcome. The two wielders of the ancient Egyptian gods overpower her and eventually destroy the Kryptonian with a combination of strength and teamwork. Eradicator finally manages to free himself from the fight with Bizarro and knows that only Apocalypse survives on his team. With this knowledge, Eradicator tries to inflict as much damage to the Commandos as he can before he himself falls. He flies with great speed and literally blows through Agamemnon, more specifically, the housing that holds his brain. He then vaporizes Ellen Ripley with a powerful blast of heat vision. It is then when Dr. Doom calls upon his “Ace in the hole” to end this confrontation. Dave Bowman: The Starchild appears out of nowhere and relieves The Eradicator of any physical bonds. “Doom! You yet again underestimate me! I am Apocalypse! You cannot defeat me with this mere lightshow!” bellows Apocalypse. “No it is you who are foolish! This is no simple lightshow, for it is The Starchild, the harbinger of your doom!” responds Dr. Doom. Apocalypse then grows exponentially and unleashes every ounce of energy that he has, but Dave Bowman doesn’t even flinch and in a fraction of a moment wipes Apocalypse from existence.

POP SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!

Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips

Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches are Orion, The Arc Troopers, Strom Trooper #15, Darth Vader & R2-KT in an X-Wing, Red Hulk, Vulcan, Vehicle Voltron, Sentinal #1-12, Krypto, Doomsday, Star Wolf in an Arwing, Triggerhappy & Blowpipe, Slugslinger & Caliburst, Flywheels, Cyclonus & his Armada, War Skrull #6-10, Skrull #1-4, Brood #1-5, Dark Phoenix, & Arkillo.

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Darkseid, Supergirl, Superboy Prime, Sinestro, Star Scream, Sun Storm, Ramjet, Six Shot, Tripticon, Circuit Breaker, Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker & Astro-droid #11 in an X-Wing, Plo Koon in an Arwing, The Silverhawks: Blue Grass, Quicksilver & Tallyhawk, Steelheart & Stronghold, Steelwill & Rayzor, & The Copper Kid & Mayday, Gozar the Gozarian, Zuul, Vince Clortho, Parasite, Monarch, The One Above All, Exitar the Exterminator, Serci, Cable, Polaris, Havok, Phoenix, Elixir, The Sentry, Captain Marvel 2, Daken, Moonstone, Josh Houslander in an Exo-Suit, & Charleton Heston.


To avoid boring delay between these 2 A.L. powerhouses both teams are instantly teleported onto the same large asteroid located in the large belt between Mars and Jupiter. Both the Hanibal led Backyardigans and the Hanibal led Horsemen have similar plans of aggressive attack but they both require patience, so every member of the 2 teams that has flight capability immediately takes to the air, leaving what is left of the 2 teams to do battle on the asteroid. All 15 parts of Vehicle Voltron form together and prepare for battle causing the One Above All to take notice. Before this battle began, The One Above All was unsure as to whether or not he would even bother to partake in it due to the fact that he highly doubted that the opposing team would offer anything to be considered an actual threat to him or his Celestial counterpart Exitar. But after sensing the power that the Voltron of the Near Universe possessed he decided that this team may possess a fly worth swatting after all. The One Above All sends Exitar the Exterminator on a simple mission to destroy Voltron. Exitar, being bred and created to do one thing and one thing alone gladly flies toward Voltron at amazing speeds. The 2 huge combatants pound on one another ferociously while they both emit cosmic energy at each other from numerous parts of their armored bodies. Voltron fights well but in the end finds himself no match for Exitar who simply rips the once 15 part Voltron into about 150 parts. The One Above All then summons the Celestial attacker back to him until another being worthy of their attention presents themselves. The Arc Troopers take cover in the rocky terrain of the asteroid while Red Hulk stands out in the open with his army of 5 Broodlings 6 Dark Phoenixes and 5 Doomsdays behind him. The jet portion of Flywheels has taken off along with Triggerhappy & Blowpipe to form a Seeker group gladly leaving behind the tank portion of himself to fight alongside Blowpipe & Caliburst. While the Backyardigan Seekers patrol one third of the battle area the other areas are being watched by Cyclonus and his Armada to the left and Darth Vader being flanked by Star Wolf in their respective ships to their right. Luke Skywalker and his wing man Plo Koon fly by to do a strafing run on the assembling Backyardigan forces but the Arc Troopers are ready for them. As the 2 jets approach The Arc Trooper Captain gives the order for the troopers to cover their heavy weapons man while he uses his air to ground weaponry to target the 2 ships out of the sky. The well-trained Arc trooper locks on to both of the incoming ships and fires. Plo Koon’s lasers take out Storm Trooper #15 as well as Arcs #3 & 5 while Luke targets both Arc Lieutenants as well as Arc #1 & 2. The Arc Troopers know that although they are the best of the best that they are still expendable tools in the battle so they gladly put their lives on the line knowing that the heat-seeking weaponry fired at the 2 ships will not stop until it destroys them. Luke works some amazing evasive action to stay away from the rocket but it is still hot on his trail while Plo Koon on the other hand, though a skilled pilot is unable to get out of the missiles way in time as it clips the wing of the Arwing and sends him flying out of control into the side of the asteroid. If Luke Skywalker’s flying was any more graceful you would think that you were watching either Nick or Josh Houslander play Shadows of the Empire on N-64. The Jedi Master is more comfortable in the cockpit of an X-Wing than just about any person in the entire New Republic which is how the amazing pilot has still not been hit by the rocket behind him. Luke continuously evades the projectile using everything around as a possible obstacle to slow down the attack but he knows that he will eventually have to do something more drastic about it if he is going to stay alive. “What kind of missile is following us R6” Luke asks of his astro-droid R6-o3. Luke, during a brief bout with impatience thinks to himself “R-2 would have had it by now” but he quickly recovers as he sees a way out of his predicament. Luke comes flying at full speed toward the Backyardigan seeker group led by Triggerhappy. Luke uses his X-Wing’s proton torpedoes to target both Triggerhappy and Flywheels blowing them to bits as he flies right thru the Decepticon ranks. Slugslinger, who was just as oblivious as the rest of his comrades to the presence of the stealth Rogue Squadron leader wonders for a brief second why Luke did not blow him out of the sky as well instead of flying right past him; But just then the missile that was intended for Luke detonates on impact as it hits Slugslinger directly, blowing him apart. The 12 Sentinels fly back toward the asteroid to begin their attack when an X-woman below takes immediate notice of the situation. Polaris simply raises her 2 hands into the air in the direction of the 12 huge metal mutant hunters and the daughter of Magneto then crushes all 12 of them one by one with her mastery of magnetism. Darkseid who has thus far stayed far behind the asteroid levitating with Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, & The Sentry orders Superboy to fly down and simply throw his favorite collateral damage piece, Circuit Breaker into the mix. Superboy then flies down to the asteroid and launches Circuit Breaker on top of the tank portion of Flywheels. The Decepticon is instantly shorted out and left an empty fried shell as the dizzied Circuit Breaker rolls off of the tank and slowly comes to her feet. Blowpipe runs toward Circuit Breaker to attack her but once he gets close she simply touches Triggerhappy’s sidekick and kills him. Dark Phoenix then simply lifts her pinky and blasts Circuit Breaker with a firey blast of cosmic energy to finish off the poor pawn in Darkseid’s game. Starscream leads his seeker group blazing thru the skies when they see several targets approaching. Starscream orders Sunstorm and Ramjet to split up and head toward these oncoming opponents (more because Starscream is very uncomfortable flying in such a close proximity to the extremely unstable Sunstorm than for any true tactical purpose). But despite Starscream’s somewhat selfish reasoning the Decepticon does decide on what appears to be the most difficult opponent as he flies toward Darth Vader’s Tie Fighter at top speed. While Ramjet gets himself into a battle with Star Wolf. Sunstorm attempts to target Vulcan. Vulcan is flying around at amazing speeds due to his beyond Omega level mutant powers (which as any X-Men geek can tell you doesn’t really make any sense because Omega level means that their power has unlimited potential????? I can’t wait for a couple years from now when Marvel decides to completely jump the shark and introduce the lost 4th Summers brother whose powers are beyond-beyond Omega level or for them to introduce the lost Summers sister who is so powerful that they will have to establish a new tier of mutants whose powers are beyond, beyond-beyond Omega level…….. Who was probably raised by Corsair’s brother the lost Summers uncle who is the most powerful of all of the beyond, Beyond-beyond Omega level mutants (since by then their will be like 17 of the new tier mutants). But then they will, oh crap that’s right I have a match to write). Vulcan blasts the wing of Sunstorm with a huge burst of energy which blows off one whole side of the Decepticon. But the somewhat insane Sunstorm then transforms back into what is left of his robot form while he still barely functions. Sunstorm has only one arm and one leg but is still moving towards Vulcan with all of the momentum he had while in jet form. Sunstorm reaches out with his one remaining hand and grabs a hold of Vulcan. Vulcan struggles to get free and is almost loose when Sunstorm’s nuclear spark explodes killing both of them. Darth Vader and Starscream engage one another in a jet-powered battle that would probably make the 30 year old dudes working at Toys R’ Us literally crap their pants. Starscream seems to have the edge as he uses his ability to quickly transform back and forth from robot to jet form to his advantage but despite his great moves he is still unable to hit the Dark Lord of the Sith. Darth Vader has little to no love for the piece of rebel crap that he has been given to fly, but he knows that with him in the cockpit, even this mass-produced jalopy can do wonders. Vader tries spinning (cause that’s a good trick) and ends up behind the Decepticon warrior for merely a split second. But as anyone knows a split second is more than enough time for Lord Vader to blast anyone out of the sky, which is exactly what he does. Not far from that spot, Ramjet learns the hard way that the best way to win a dog-fight is to bring a wolf as Star Wolf in his Arwing targets the Conehead turned seeker and blasts him apart. Star Wolf is about to get on his com to let Lord Vader know that he is ready to rendezvous with him when he completely loses control of his Arwing’s controls. His ship starts slowly moving back toward the asteroid on a crash course when he runs a quick scan to see what is doing this. He quickly realizes that Polaris has got him in her magnetic grip and is about to simply crash his Arwing into the side of the space rock. Star Wolf, like any great pilot stays calm and gets behind his laser targeting sights. He locks in on Polaris’ general area which at this point is only a couple of hundred meters away and blasts her apart, releasing his ship from her mutant powers. Once released Star Wolf grabs a hold of his controls and has just barely enough time to pull up before crashing into the asteroid. The One Above All notices another combatant that he believes must be destroyed in order to prove the undeniable superiority of The Celestials. He begins to tell Exitar that his services will be once again required but he does not need to because Dark Phoenix and her minions are already on their way. It is painfully obvious which one of the 6 is the real Dark Phoenix because this incarnation of Jean Grey has no desire to trick her opponents into submission. War Skrulls do not typically obey the very person that they are imprinted to imitate but with Jean Grey’s phoenix enhanced telepathic powers, gaining mental control of them was not difficult. The skrull phoenixes instantly attack Exitar which begins a vicious cosmic battle while The real Dark Phoenix and The One Above All merely float before one another without moving. After a decent amount of time has passed The One Above All plainly say to Dark Phoenix “Your powers are impressive earth dweller, but you must know that I am The One Above All”. Dark Phoenix than smiles at the Celestial ruler and says “perhaps, but are you the One Above THIS”! As she says this Dark Phoenix unleashes the full power of the phoenix force engulfing the area with cosmic flame and wiping every molecule of the 8 combatants off of this plane of existence. Back on the asteroid Red Hulk leads his band of brutes against the Cable led rock bound members of the Horsemen. Krypto flies down toward Parasite but Parasite grabs a hold of his arch-enemy’s dog and absorbs the very life out of it before he brutally kills it Vick style. 4 of the 5 Broodlings attack Gozar and his crew. Gozar’s powers are more than a match for the 2 Broodlings that he takes on but once Broodlings #6 & 10 wrestle Zuul and Vince Clortho to the ground and come up with their powers fueling their parasitic bodies; Brood #6-8, & 10 are able to overcome the Gozarian. Orion flies down to do battle with the futuristic tyrant Monarch, while Cyclonus & his armada begin chasing the Maraj, being flown by Bluegrass. Red Hulk goes on a rampage reminiscent of his green counter-part as he attacks Moonstone ripping her in half. He than grabs a hold of the heads of Phoenix and Serci, and smashes them together; which results in an explosion of cosmic power that kills them both. Rulk than jumps ridiculously high into the orbit and punches me (the watcher not the character in the Exo-Suit) in the face…………………………….. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Sorry about that, I was unconscious for a couple of minutes. I am not sure what happened while I was Uhhmmm… sleeping but when I came to Daken was dead as well, presumably by the hands of Rulk? Cyclonus blasts Maraj out of existence with his Cybertronian lasers, but not before the Hillbilly pilot Bluegrass ejects the 4 Silverhawks and their weapon birds out of the ship and into the battle. Cyclonus’ blue Cybertronian space ship sidekick misses his targeted shots against the fast moving Quicksilver but hits Talleyhawk instead. The Armada then hits both Stronghold and Mayday head on with his nose killing those birds as well. Steelheart and Steelwill, being as tech-savvy as they are seem to know exactly where to attack the Transformer as they land on the smoothed back of Cyclonus’ Armada. Steelheart first blasts the bottom of what I guess is supposed to be the command tower of the ship that has no pilot and weakens it enough for the muscular Steelwill to get underneath it and rip out all of the vital parts, which sends the Sweep spinning off uncontrollably before he explodes. Cyclonus flies in and avenges his Sweep Armada by blasting the sibling combo of Steelheart & Steelwill, stopping their steel hearts from beating. Quicksilver and The Copper Kid both jump onto the back of Cyclonus. The quick-thinking, quick-acting, and quick-moving Quicksilver orders the last remaining Silverhawk other than himself, The Copper Kid to use his razor claws to rip open the back of the former Insecticon. Once open Quicksilver moves quicker than the eye can see to quickly blast apart Cyclonus and avenge the death of the friend he was always quick to love and quick to care for, Talleyhawk. After witnessing this pure show of quickness. I thought to myself that I wish a vintage 1999 version of Nick Houslander was here, because he would undoubtedly say that what he just witnessed was in fact: “Quick”! Charleton Heston and fellow NRA supporter Josh Houslander are engaged in a fast-paced (I promise I won’t say quick anymore) battle with Broodling #2 and Doomsday. Josh looks over to the gun-laden Heston and says “Dang Charlie you got more weaponry than I do, and I’m wearing an Exo-Suit”. Hestizzle moves out and Izzle with the fanged Broodling, who knocks him to the ground and then moves to jump on top of him. But Heston pulls out his space approved Flame-Thrower and blasts the Broodling off of him. Heston than gets to his feet and finishes off the Alien with about a dozen rounds of .44 Magnum from an AMT Hardballer. Heston than runs over to his homeboy Josh to help him out with Doomsday but Josh kicks over the gray skinned creature and then lights him up “Stallone Style” with his Cybertronian inspired weaponry. “Hells yeah! That’s how we do it in the hood, Right Chaz”! Josh screams to Charleton over the dead body of Doomsday. “Superman ain’t got nuthin on us” Heston replies in his best Ali voice. But as he is saying this Doomsday’s body shifts back to its original Skrull form. “Ahhhhh crap Chuck, I thought we actually killed the real Doomsday”. Josh says with disappointment as Arkillo flies in to fight them. A defiant Josh shakes his fist at Arkillo and says yellow sucks Yo! Kilowag would waste you”! As the yellow lantern crushes the 2 gun enthusiasts with a huge yellow hammer. Cable notices what just transpired with the Doomsday Skrull and realizes what is going on. The 4 remaining Doomsdays are running at Cable’s new forces when Cable telepathically informs Elixir of the situation. Elixir uses his powers to molecularly revert the Doomsdays back to their original Skrull form. This of course works on all but the true Doomsday who keeps running at them unaffected and crushes Elixir. Six Shot Flies in, in his jet form blasting Skrull #3 and then turns into his flying wolf form to rip apart the remaining 2. Doomsday continues his rampage, laying waste to Havok, whose blasts were just about useless on him, as well as Cable and Captain Marvel whom he crushed as if they were made of crumbling bread. This prompts Darkseid and his minions to begin to work their way to the battle to lend their hands in this heavyweight bout. Orion after a brutal fight with Monarch finally finishes him off. Orion took an amazing amount of damage from Monarch but it is nothing that his healing factor can’t handle. This Apoklopitian’s victory over a member of The Horsemen of Apokolips, prompts Darkseid to turn to Supergirl and say “Supergirl, I feel that we have established quite a connection over the last 2 seasons. In fact I would in many ways consider you to be like my daughter. Which is exactly why I want you, to go kill my son”. With that comment Supergirl does not say a word but simply flies at Orion at amazing speeds and begins pounding on him. Six Shot transforms into his Cybertronian Tank form and blows away Broodling #3 but then transforms back into his robot form to fight with the incoming Arkillo. The Decepticon assassin stands ready for whatever Arkillo throws at him but it is not enough as Arkillo blasts a hole right thru the spark of Six Shot with his yellow energy ring. Arkillo at this point sees how easy it is to destroy a Transformer and decides that he is going to take out the lumbering Tripticon. Arkillo flies at the massive Decepticon/Dinosaur/City but he finds that with this one he may have bitten off a little bit more than even his huge gross mouth can chew. Arkillo’s yellow energy blast puts quite a dent in Tripticon’s shoulder but Tripticon opens his mouth and blasts Arkillo with a huge laser bolt that stuns him, and send him floating backwards. Tripticon then grabs the yellow lantern out of the air with his massive hand and begins to squeeze. The powerful and yellow energy protected Arkillo comes to, just in time to feel his body crushed into mush. Darkseid and Sinestro fly in to the battle to assist the Krypto enhanced Parasite and Superboy in their fight against Doomsday. The 4 of them surround the mammoth gray beast and take turns taking pot shots at him without getting to close to the powerful creature. The Sentry flies in to help but Darkseid orders him to take on Rulk instead. Star Wolf comes flying in to do a strafing run on the Horsemen but Luke Skywalker comes in from behind and targets him out of space with his last proton torpedo. This prompts Luke and Vader to begin an epic father and son X-Wing battle in the space far above the asteroid (or it could be below, they tell me that there isn’t really any up or down in space). The Arc Trooper Capt. leads Caliburst and the 3 remaining broodlings in a last ditch effort against the massive Tripticon. The Arc Trooper comes up with a fairly good plan of attack and manages to get in some great shots with his twin pistols but it is simply not enough. Tripticon moves toward the Brood first, as he systematically stomps the remaining 3 Broodlings. The Arc Trooper Heavy Weapons Expert (who is now out of rockets from his attack on the Jedi in their Starships) catches a transformed Caliburst and attempts to blast Tripticon with it but even when he hits his mark, it does very little damage to the monstrous & menacing Decepticon. With a single laser blast Tripticon finishes off the Arc Trooper Capt., his weapons expert, Arc Trooper #4, and Caliburst. Orion takes quite a beating from Supergirl but he manages to keep fighting thru it. “O.K., now it’s my turn” Orion says to Supergirl as he comes at her with a feeling a rejuvenation. The son of Apokolips then takes the upper hand in the battle but it is far from over. Doomsday lunges at Parasite, who tries to block Doomsday’s blow with his arms. He gets the block up in time but the enraged Doomsday rips Parasite’s arms right off of him and then uses them to bludgeon Parasite to death. Darkseid yells to his team “let’s finish this”, which prompts Superboy to blast Doomsday with as much Heat vision as he has ever conjured out of himself, and for Sinestro to do the same with his Yellow energy powered ring. Darkseid then aims his Omega Beams at Doomsday which target him even as he jumps out of the way. Darkseid’s Omega Beams manage to morph with the power of Superboy and Sinestro to cause enough power to finally put Doomsday out of commission but not before Doomsday lands his powerful body on top of Darkseid, killing him as well. Red Hulk is quite bothered by The Sentry’s want to stay flying above him where he believes that he has the upper hand, so Rulk jumps in to the space sky and pulls The Sentry down to the rock bed below. The Sentry struggles to fight back against Rulk but eventually the “heated up” Hulkster brings his fists down hard on The Sentry with enough force to break his neck. The Red Hulk is severely heated up, but not to much to continue fighting. So he runs over to where Doomsday’s dead body lay on the ground to see if he can do what Doomsday could not. Rulk runs at both Superboy Prime and Sinestro but Rulk finds that he does not quite have it left in him to take them on. Sinestro knocks Rulk back with a fierce burst of yellow energy which leaves him more than just stunned. Superboy than takes this moment of opportunity to fly in and lay waste to The Red Hulk with a flurry of building leveling punches. Supergirl is knocked to the ground by Orion who begins to draw some energy from his Astro-Harness when Supergirl kicks him in the face to knock him off guard. Supergirl than pops up and gives Orion and brutal uppercut to the chin. Supergirl than rips a large piece of space rock out from the ground under them and throws it on top of Orion before he even hits the ground. Supergirl, in a blink of an eye than flies a few miles and than comes rocketing back down on the spot where Orion lay. Pushing them both thru the asteroid where the battle was taking place and destroying both the Astro-Harness and the New god who was wearing it. As much as it is difficult for either of them to admit it, the 2 Skywalkers are locked in what seems to be an endless draw. It is not until Supergirl, Superboy, Sinestro, Tripticon, and the few remaining Silverhawks (Superboy & Supergirl are carrying Tripticon) begin to fly over to their vicinity of the battle and take pot shots at Vader is Luke able to gain the upper hand in the battle and clip one of Vader’s 4 wings. Vader begins to recover from the space tumble but Luke takes instant advantage of his father and laser blasts him out of the sky.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!

Message from The Comissioner

Attention: All Team Owners & Watchers. It is the consensus of much of the league that it would work better if the day of team entry was changed. Starting this week teams will no longer be due on Wednesday by midnight, they will be due Monday by midnight. So the team for week 6 that was going to be due on Wednesday March 25th, is not due until Monday March 30th. The following teams will be due every Monday after that. This will give everyone more time to prepare their 2500 point team and it will provide more time for the Watchers to witness these epic battles. If any of you have any questions, feel free to call me anytime. Thanks.

-Josh

Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing

Le’ Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing

Le Napoleon Brigade is Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Duncan Idaho Ghola #2, Allia Atreides Ghola, Guy Gardner (w/ yellow ring), Power Girl, Skyfire, Allia Atreides, Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, Hecate, Wonder Woman & Wonder Girl, Man at Arms & Teela, The Jetsons: George, Judy, Jane, Elroy, Astro, Rosey, & Orbitty, Maverick & Astro-Droid #1 in an X-Wing, Atrocikus, Alan Scott, Squeezeplay & Locos, Baron Soontir Fel in a Tie Interceptor, Storm Trooper #51-63, Silver Dragon #2-13, Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia Organa (Jedi), Jedi Knight #1-5, Scary Spice, Baby Spice, & Ginger Spice.

The Right Wing is Jedi Knight #16-23, Elite Storm Trooper #1-9, Agent #1 & 2, Jedi Padawan #2-6, & 38, Droid Fighter Ship #1-13, Silver Surfer, Mr. Freeze, Flash, John Stewart, Storm, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Quinlon Vos, Red Sonja, Darth Malack, Capt. Mifune, Black Panther, E.T., Druscilla, & Miss Martian.


Although the Brigade still has several free-floating members to its team in this Milky Way setting, a good portion of their team are being protected by vehicles. Both Idahos and both Allias, along with Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Man at Arms, & Teela are up in Skyfire’s cockpit area while Coleman Trebor, Anakin Solo, Leia, the 5 Jedis, the 3 spice girls, & The Storm Troopers are in the cargo hold. Skyfire and Hecate flank one another as they move toward The Right Wing’s base of operations. Maverick in his X-Wing is working as a reluctant wing man to Baron Fel in his Tie Interceptor, which has Darth Nihilus stowed away in its small cargo hold. Palpatine (probably due to some sort of force manipulation) has some how managed to grab a seat riding along with the Jetsons in their family space ship. The Right Wing does not have vehicles to support its team but before the battle even begins Mr. Freeze makes an enormous ice meteor which is large enough to support the non-flying members of the team. Once Capt. Mifune and Darth Malack see what Mr. Freeze is capable of they order the team to sit tight and wait for the Brigade to make the first move. Mr. Freeze then builds up the sides of the team’s new icy home so they can easily fortify their position. The 10 Silver Dragons are having some trouble flying with the grace that they are used to without the benefit of gravity so the 13 Droid Fighter ships zoom in and make short work of them with their lasers, except for Silver Dragon #2 who manages to bite down hard on Droid fighter #3, causing it to join them in destruction. A fairly large dogfight ensues when the 12 remaining droid ships all gang up on the 2 fighter ships of the Brigade but; the Brigade’s pilots are much more adept than droid piloted ships. While the stars are being lit up by the firefight Hecate, Skyfire, and George Jetson fly in carefully toward the heavily guarded iceberg of The Right Wing. Not so cautiously coming in to the Right Wing’s base of operations are the 3 unlikely lantern teammates of Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, & Atrocikus being led by Power Girl; but they are diverted from the mini ice planet by John Stewart, Miss Martian, Flash, & Silver Surfer who draw them away to do battle away from the rest of the less than comfortable space fighters. As the 3 ships and Squeezeplay approach, Hecate swings underneath the iceberg while Skyfire and George Jetson fly up to drop their troops on the surface so the battle can begin. Skyfire goes thru with the plan but Darth Sideous convinces George to swing back around and not yet land on the ice. Under heavy fire from the Right Wing Skyfire manages a daring landing on the icy surface and opens up his rear hatch in order to let out the Brigade. The first wave is the 13 Storm Troopers led by Jedi Knight #4, but they are quickly mowed down by the 9 well covered Elite Storm Troopers. Only Elite Trooper #6 is killed in the initial attack. The 13 Storm Troopers do not die in vain though as they make the perfect diversion for the rest of the Brigade to run safely out of Skyfire and begin their attack on The Right Wing. Capt. Mifune sees that their original line has been broken which prompts him to yell “Charge”!! On his command the 9 Elite Storm Troopers Duncan Idaho #6, Red Sonja, & Black Panther run (more like moon jump) toward their oncoming attackers. Squeezeplay lands, diverting the attention of the Jedi Knights. Squeezeplay’s head, Locos transforms into robot form while Squeezeplay transforms into his crab from. The Elite Storm Troopers take aim at the Spice Girls but only Baby Spice is shot because her obese body was large enough to cover the other 2 Spice Girls and protect them from the time being. Scary Spice, or as some call her pepper picks up Jedi Knight #4’s lightsaber and ignites it while Ginger Spice screams her anti-Right Wing battle cry: “Bloody Conservatives, if it weren’t fer you I wilst of had ta change me name from Sexy Spice”. The 2 Spice girls get an A for effort for this brief show of heroism but Capt. Mifune quickly rips them to shreds in his waking tank like apparatus. Man at Arms and Teela find it weird that they are not the only ones wielding medieval type melee weapons in space as they rush toward Red Sonja and use their sword/hammer duo to rip open Sonja’s space suit and expose her to the elements. Drusilla dodges a lightsaber swing from Anakin Solo and then uses her razor sharp nails to rip open his space suit. E.T. begins wrestling around on the space tundra with Allia’s ghola. Despite E.T. being much more comfortable in his surroundings, the toddler killer manages to rip out E.T.’s trachea. Skyfire transforms into his large robot form and stomps on Black Panther and Duncan Idaho #6 but the 2 Agents come running in at speeds that are not possible in space and jump on to the back of the Autobot Jet. The 2 Agents ferociously pound on the Transformer with their fists to make several fairly large holes in his hull and then use their .50 caliber pistols to blast inside of the barely functioning Skyfire and extinguish his spark. Coleman Trebor is being flanked by Jedi Knight #2 as he runs up to do battle with Darth Malack. Master Trebor swings his green lightsaber hard at Lord Malack’s already damaged jaw but Malack ducks out of the way and puts his crimson blade into the chest of Coleman Trebor. The Sith Lord then spins around and takes out Jedi Knight #2 with ease. Mr. Freeze blasts Wonder Woman with his freeze gun and then Quinlon Vos uses the force to rip off another chunk of ice and throw it at Wonder Woman cracking the Amazon princess in half. In a rage Wonder Girl plows thru Elite Storm Troopers #1, 2, & 7 killing them all and ripping Trooper #7’s helmet off during her attack. Wonder Woman’s trusted sidekick then takes the helmet and rockets it at the head of Quinlon Vos cracking open his space helmet and killing the Jedi Master. Squeeze Play uses its claws to rip apart Jedi Knights #19 & 22, as well as Padawan #5, but the remaining 11 Jedis prove to be to much for the Decepticon as Jedi Knight #16 and his padawan (#2) use their lightsabers to finish off Squeezeplay by removing his metal crustacean head. Just when the Jedis believe that they have a moment to rest Locos comes running in to avenge his partner. Taken off guard by the small robot, Locos uses his mini laser cannon to take out Jedi Knights #17, 18, & 23, & Jedi Padawan #4. But Jedi Knight #20 finally kicks the little Decepticon over so his padawan (#6) can stab his lightsaber into the chest of Locos to finish him off. Jedi Knights #1, 3, & 5, led by Leia Organa-Solo move against Capt. Mifune. The Jedi swing their lightsabers rapidly to block the bullets shot by Mifune but Leia leaves the mini battle when she sees an opportunity to go after Drusilla. The Jedi knows that she shouldn’t leave her post and that attachment and revenge are 2 emotions forbidden by the Jedi order, but after what Drusilla did to her son Anakin she can not let her get away. Drusilla leaps at Leia with her nails and teeth exposed to the frigid space but Leia, despite being restrained by a space suit moves with an amazing grace as she avenges her son and relieves Drusilla of her head. Capt. Mifune catches Jedi Knight #1 with a bullet to the head while the other 2 Jedi jump on top of the monstrous piece of equipment that Mifune is maneuvering. Mifune throws Jedi #5 off of him into the side of an icy mountain, breaking his back but before he can do the same to Jedi #3, the Jedi sticks his lightsaber thru the protective bars of Mifune’s contraption and into the defender of Zion’s head. The recent widow Storm is having trouble working her powers in space without an atmosphere to draw from but she conjures up a lightning bolt and sends it into the head of Duncan Idaho #2. As Duncan lay dead, his wife Allia and his future clone Duncan Idaho #12 rush in at amazing speeds to kill Storm with their Atreides blades. Wonder Girl is still hell bent on avenging the death of Wonder Woman so she moves against Mr. Freeze next. She jumps out of the way of his initial ice blast and then punches thru his helmet. This does not kill him as he is still being supported by Oxygen and is unaffected by the cold but once she gets her powerful hand around his throat and gives a good squeeze, it is over fairly quickly for Victor Freeze. Man at Arms and Teela would be a great match for a couple of Jedis and their padawans back home on Eternia but here their weapons are of not much use and they fall pretty quickly to them. Duncan Idaho #12 and the 2 Allias move with the speed of great fighters but have little experience in a space suit. This proves fatal to them as the 2 Agents fight effortlessly in the space surroundings and rip them to shreds. Leia and Wonder Girl stand alone on the ice meteor, out-numbered 13 to 2. Wonder Girl turns to Leia and says “your highness, I think it is time for plan B”. Leia replies with “I said before I didn’t want to go thru with it. Especially when we didn’t get you off in time. The Watchers said that if you die one more time than you aren’t getting resurrected”. “Just do it” Wonder Girl says in reply, “it is our only chance; I just wish I had gotten to know some of you season 2 people a little better”. “I’ll see you in the graveyard, Wonder Girl” Leia says as she uses her communicator to contact Hecate; who, from below the floating iceberg blasts it with a rocket killing all of the people on it. George Jetson turns to Palpatine in his car and says “what the hell are we doing Palpatine”? Those were are friends who just got killed on that iceberg and we just sat in here doing nothing the entire time”. “We have more important things to do for this mission”. Sideous replies. “No! I think you just don’t want to put yourself in danger” Jane says. “Yeah! Mom and Dad are right”. Elroy says in a nasally voice. “You should be ashamed of yourself” adds Rosey the Robot. “Ruff ruff” says Astro. Judy then says “Whatever”, but she wasn’t even talking about the same thing as them and Orbitty says (never mind, I was going to have Orbitty say something but in all honesty I can’t remember if Orbitty actually talks or not). Baron Fel and Maverick are holding their own nicely against the 12 remaining Droid Fighter Ships. Fel and Maverick each managed to take out 2 (1, 4, 6, & 12) with relative ease when Baron Fel tries the crazy plan that Darth Nihilus had thought of before the battle. Droid Ship #2 gets behind Fel’s Interceptor, so Fel opens up the hatch and Darth Nihilus pops out. Darth Nihilus ignites his lightsaber and cuts the ship right down the middle, but Lord Nihilus in his arrogance believes that once he is out in the open he can destroy the rest of the ships just as easily. He is proven wrong as his free-floating body is blow apart by Droid Ship #10. Flash is running circles around his opponents as if he actually has ground to move on when Guy Gardner puts up a thick wall of yellow energy in the path of Barry Allen. The Flash though unlimitlessly fast unfortunately cannot stop quite fast enough as he I disintegrated by the Quwardian ring’s power. Miss Martian then blasts Guy Gardner with her eye beams from behind to take him by surprise and to take out the former green lantern. Atrocikus battles with John Stewart while Silver Surfer rips thru Alan Scott’s green energy defenses to destroy the Golden Age Green Lantern and move on to Power Girl. Atrocikus’ fury overpowers John Stewart’s power as he blocks the attack from Stewart’s green ring and then rains down a fury of red energy swords thru the body of John Stewart. Silver Surfer doubles back to avenge John Stewart while Power Girl squares off with Miss Martian. Power Girl grabs a hold of Miss Martian and launches her an amazing distance away. Power Girl than begins to fly over to the Martian to finish her off but Hecate is already there. In all of her travels Hecate has learned the weaknesses of many planetary beings which is why she grabs Miss Martian and opts for a flame attack which easily destroys her. Silver Surfer flies directly thru the red energy attack of Atrocikus and blasts him with so much cosmic energy that it is hard to tell if he imploded or exploded. Maverick and Baron Fel are tied at 5 droid ship kills each when Power Girl comes flying up and blows apart the last one with her heat vision, filling both of the pilots with disappointment. Silver Surfer than ends this playful exchange when he flies in and blows Baron Fel’s Tie Interceptor apart with his cosmic blasts. Power Girl chases him down and the 2 of them begin pounding on each other with their fists with enough force to bring down a skyscraper. Power Girl knocks the surfer off of his board but when Power Girl follows the fallen surfer to continue her attack The Silver Surfer uses his telepathic link to summon the board back to him. On the way back to retrieve its master The Silver Surfer has the board the fly right into the back of Power Girl’s head, stunning her. Silver Surfer than grabs a hold of his supposedly indestructible board and puts a bend in it as he brings it down hard onto Power Girl’s skull. Silver Surfer then feels a strange feeling come over him as he climbs back on his surf board to resume the battle. Once the telepathic link between the board and the surfer was made to go over a much larger than normal distance Darth Sideous was able to use the unnatural powers of the force to gain a mental foothold on the situation and bring the Silver Surfer in closer without him destroying what was left of the team. Palpatine orders George Jetson to slowly fly over to Silver Surfer and surrender. Jane says “have you seen my wig around, I feel naked without it” oh wait that’s a song I meant to say Jane says “George, don’t do it. This is a death match, we aren’t allowed to surrender”. “DO IT”! Palpatine yells. So George listens. When the Jetsons put on their breathing apparatuses and open their cockpit to surrender to the mighty sentinel of the skies The Silver Surfer says “I feel no joy in destroying lesser life forms but this is a death match and I must do what is necessary”. Then Palpatine, who appeared to the Silver Surfer to be a crippled old man in the corner, throws off his black robe and blasts Silver Surfer with an enormous and deadly amount of Sith Lightning (so much that it shorted out and blew up Rosey and killed Elroy). The Dark Lord of the Sith then jumps out of the cockpit and onto the surf board while he is igniting his red lightsaber. Palpatine then force pushes the stunned Silver Surfer off of his own board and flies in to give him enough momentum to stick his lightsaber thru the hardened protective skin of Silver Surfer. It only takes Palpatine a few minutes on the way back to the base to convince the Jetsons that Elroy and Rosey’s death were Silver Surfer’s fault and that they were the battle’s true heroes.
LE’ NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

"Commando's Press Release"

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I know that everyone in this league is used to hearing from President Obama when it comes to the "Commando's". He gives off a warm feeling of hope and togetherness that I happen to not fall in line with. When I was brought onto to this team, I was told it was to bring a sense of "Toughness" to the Commandos. I was brought here to make this team the pride of the NL and what do I get in return, possibly the most embarrassing performance in the history of this league. I don't care if TEAM are the defending champs and I also don't care what are record is. All I keep hearing around team headquarters is how we are still 3-1 and in first place. My only response to this is that "Pop Superstar" Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both World's" Touring Battalion of Commando's are the worst 3-1 team in the history of this league.

Now our head coach did not want me to broadcast this around the league and he most definitely did not want me to name names, but in order for me to make some changes around here, I am going to have to go against his wishes. First things first, our number one draft pick for 2009 was Rodimus Prime. Barack and I did not exactly see eye to eye on this pick but I trusted his judgement. We decided to give him some time to get used to the team by letting him sit the beginning of the season. We thought this would give him time to train and prepare for the upcoming season. Instead it made him soft. In his first match ever, he loses to an opponent that he has defeated once in his past. It was a disgraceful first match for a number one draft pick, one that I will not soon let him forget.

It is obvious to me that we just were not in the mood to fight this past week and no one on the team showed that more than Paralax, Willow Rosenberg and Luna Lovegood. The three of you did not even try. All three of you died without a fight. I have seen good things from Paralax so far this season, but evidently you decided not to show for this match. Ms. Rosenberg, I have heard that you are a great witch, one with the ability to fly and heal others. To me it looked like you are good at one thing: Dying. Ms. Lovegood, you may be young, but that is no excuse for your lack of effort.

Bashar Miles Tieg: Your Ghola proved that you are not useless, I wish I could say the same for you. The same goes for Paul Atreides Ghola and Judah Ben Hur. I had heard the best place for you was in the desert, in my opinion, the best for the both you is on the bench. I would like to say thanks to Dr. Grant and Bryan Beckerman though: Thanks for wasting two of our vehicles this week.

Black Adam: Though I appreciate your effort this week, if you ever talk back to Albus again, I will kill you myself.

I think it is sad that the only person on this team I am proud of this week is a teenage witch. Ginny Weasley showed courage this week by taking on three Transformers at the same time. Though she did not win this fight, she showed everyone that she will never back down to anyone. That is the sort of attitude I am looking for and instead of benching those who failed me this week, I instead will show them how it is done. I will join my team in space this week against the very dangerous "Xavier's Annihilation Squad". We are going to need the best effort out of everyone if we are to even have a chance at victory this week.

President Obama's era of soft peddling the "Commando's" is over. It is time someone with some actual experience with true power takes control.

-Dr. Victor von Doom

Week Four Standings

Week 5: Deathmatch

Setting: The Milky Way
Points: 1200
Prize: Batman Week

-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Right Wing (for the Bat-boat)
-Built Ford Tough Vs. TEAM (for the Bat-wing)
-Better Than All of You Vs. The Abomitrons (for Golden Age Bat-mobile)
-The Untouchables Vs. Alice's Wonder Team (for Bat Girl's Motorcycle)
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (for the Bat-cycle)
-Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennellz of Lurve (for Robin's motorcycle)
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (for the Bat-copter)
-Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad (for Silver Age Bat-mobile)
-The Syracuse Valley Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets (for Modern Age Bat-mobile)

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Better Than All of You

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets are Mr. Mxyzptlk, Magneto, Mighty Mouse, Katma Tui, Pythona, Thundercracker, Stilgar, Aurra Sing, Fremen #52-56, Duncan Idaho, Aayla Secura & Jedi Padawan #35, X-23, Velociraptor #21-23, Beachcomber, Rogue, Smart Grimlock, &Alia Atreides (little girl version) & Nightsister Sith Witch in a land speeder.

Better Than All of You is Thanos, Green Lantern, Gandalf the White, Gwar: Oderus Urungus, Flattus Maximus, Balsac the Jaws of Death, Beefcake the Mighty, Jizmack da Gusha, Slymenstra Hymen, The Sexecutioner, & Sleazy P. Martini, Doc Holiday, Beachhead, Tomax & Xamot, John Rambo, Ghost Rider, The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), The Four Horsemen: Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson, & Tully Blanchard, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, RVD & Sabu, Triple H, Mephisto, Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow, Lex Luthor, Head Coach Cobra Commander, Gray Hulk, Black Suit Spider Man, Nick Fury, David Dunn, Loki & Bartleby, & Cobra Viper #1.

“I crush you as I would a fly. I kill you and I watch you die. Destroying all I find offending, devastation never ending,” sings Oderus Urungus as Better Than All of You sets their sights on fellow Nick Houslander Division team, The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets. The two Terminators are then ripped apart and turned into flying projectiles of death and they rip through The Sexicutioner, Tomax, Zamot, Cobra Viper #1 and Sleazy P. Martini. Magneto, the cause of this destruction, then flies into the air and pushes Head Coach Cobra Commander’s metal mask through his head, in an utterly disgusting fashion. Then there is a sonic boom overhead as Thundercracker screeches in and launches two drone cruise missiles that lock on and blow up Loki, Bartleby and Flattus Maximus. Green Lantern then shoots up into the sky after the Decepticon. He creates a green energy F-22 Raptor and engages Thundercracker. Several more sonic booms are heard as Green Lantern and Thundercracker both break the sound barrier. Hal Jordan locks on and fires green energy at Thundercracker. He then accelerates and finishes off the Decepticon jet. John Rambo, Beachhead, David Dunn and Doc Holiday are ambushed by the Stilgar led Fremen. The Fremen all pull their crysknife from their sheaths and attack in unison. Doc Holiday is the first to fall but not before he takes Fremen #55 with him. John Rambo squares off against Stilgar and even though he’s unaccustomed to Arrakis’s climate, he puts up a very good fight. But in the end it’s Stilgar’s experience that tips the scales. Well that and the fact that the really creepy little girl, Alia Atriedes, snuck up from behind and slit his throat. David Dunn proves to be harder to kill than originally thought, but he finally bleeds out after about three dozen crysknife stab wounds. Beachhead doesn’t go down without a fight, and shoots Fremen #52 and 56 before falling to the numbers game. Mr. Mxyzptlk then, because he feels it would be fun to watch, creates a big wrestling ring in the middle of the desert, right where the Fremen were standing. All of the wrestlers from Better Than All of You jump into the ring and start attacking the Fremen. Fremen #53 and 54 guts ole Anderson and Tully Blanchard, as The Rock give a Rock Bottom to Stilgar. Rob Van Dam then gives Stilgar a Five Star Frog Splash off the top rope. However, RVD grabs his stomach and writhes in pain. Stilgar was able to get his crysknife up in time and stuck it deep into RVD as he crashed down on top of him. Mephisto then shows up and uses his demonic magic to remove the wrestling ring, allowing the combatants to fight on the appropriate battlefield. “Oh no fair! You’re not any fun!” shout Mr. Mxyzptlk. Mephisto fires a blast of magic at the Fifth Dimension imp, but he disappears. Triple H then swings his trusty sledgehammer at Fremen #53, but Alia Atriedes stabs him in his left quadriceps. This brings Hunter down to his knees, allowing Alia to finish him off. (Seriously, this girl is creeping me out.) The Nightsister Sith Witch zips by in the land speeder, only to slow down for Alia to jump in, before they take back off. Mighty Mouse and Duncan Idaho run in and give some help to the Fremen. Duncan stabs Arn Anderson right in the heart, but is then chop blocked by Ric Flair. “Wooooo! Oh I feel good! It’s just like Bash at the Beach!” shouts the sixteen time World Champion. He then slaps a figure four-leg lock on Duncan. The Swordmaster of the Ginaz though, in terrible pain, reaches forward and slits Flair’s throat. Mighty Mouse simply flies into Sabu’s right ear and out his left. Stilgar and Fremen #53 and 54 now surround the Rock and Stone Cold. Stone Cold stares right at Stilgar and flips him off as The Rock motions at the Fremen to “just bring it.” And well, that’s exactly what they do as the sands of Arrakis is watered with the blood of the two WWE legends. Ghost Rider, hauls ass on his motorcycle, and whips his hellfire chain at the land speeder and wraps it around the rear turbine of the landspeeder. He yanks back on it and brings it to a halt. Snake Eyes leaps into the cockpit of the landspeeder and eviscerates the Nightsister Sith Witch. Alia Atreides is about to stab Snake Eyes in the back, but gets a shuriken in the face, courtesy of Storm Shadow. Aurra Sing, perched high up on a cliff, takes aim with her Fallann Hyper-Rifle and picks off Oderus Urungus. With their leader now dead, GWAR goes completely unhinged and rushes into battle. However, they bite off a little more than they can chew. Smart Grimlock stomps in and snaps down eating Beefcake the Mighty. He then transforms and blasts Jizmack da Gusha and Balsac the Jaws of Death with his double-barreled rocket launcher. Slymenstra Hymen is then crushed beneath Grimlock’s massive foot. Black Suit Spider-Man swings in and snares Beachcomber with his webbing, which allows Grey Hulk to leap in and smash his way to the Autobot’s spark. Nick Fury then finds himself surrounded by three Velociraptors. One pump fakes as another lungs at him. However Colonel Fury spins around and takes out all three of them with his MAC-10. Aayla Secura and her Jedi Padawan are then are attacked by Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The two ninjas give the Jedi a harder fight than they expected. Snake Eyes is able to run his kitana through Jedi Padawan #35’s chest, but Aayla Secura is able to best the ninjas in the end. Gandalf the White then enters the fray and hits Stilgar and the two Fremen with a blast of magic that disintegrates them. He then has his staff kicked out of his hands by Pythona. She slashes at his chest with her sharp nails. Gandalf pulls out Glamdring as cuts down the Cobra-La native. Thanos surveys the battlefield and decides it time for him to make an impact. He motions at Katma Tui with the Infinity Gauntlet and wipes her from existence. “Yoink,” Mr. Mxyzptlk says as he reappears out of nowhere and steals the Infinity Gauntlet. “Imp, you will rue the day you messed with Better Than All of You!” exclaims Thanos. Mxyzptlk disappears again. Magneto spots Ghost Rider and crushes his bike with his magnetism and then wraps it around the Spirit of Vengeance. Mephisto teleports up to the cliff where Aurra Sing and blasts her with his dark magic. Magneto spots this and launches X-23 right at Mephisto. The combination of X-23’s adamantium and Mephisto’s magic kills both combatants. Duncan Idaho’s life is then cut short by what can only be described as grievous head wound courtesy of Lex Luthor’s power suit. “Sugah, you really shouldn’t have done that,” says Rogue as she flies in and uppercuts Luthor. She grabs a hold of him and shoots high up into the air. Lex uses his suit to blast free of Rogue’s grip and hits her with an uppercut of his own. But Magneto flies up into the air and saves his one time lover by crushing Lex with his own suit. “Pathetic homo sapien,” says Magneto. Mighty Mouse zips quickly through the air, and is spotted by Grey Hulk. He snatches the super rodent out of the air and tosses him into his mouth as if he was an M&M. Mighty Mouse tries to keep Grey Hulk’s mouth open, but if just overpowered and eaten. Grey Hulk then lets out a loud burp. (Because just like in the movies, when that happens, it means that the person died. You listening Boba Fett??) Aayla Secura, Smart Grimlock, Rogue, and Magneto form up for their final push. But Better Than All of You isn’t out of it yet. Thanos, Grey Hulk, Black Suit Spider-Man, Colonel Nick Fury, Green Lantern and Gandalf the White regroup as well. Hal Jordan targets the big Dinobot first and fires a massive arc of green energy right at his face. Smart or not, the power from Green Lantern is too much to withstand. Magneto, however, doesn’t hesitate and before Smart Grimlock’s body hits the ground the launches it at Better Than All of you, crushing Nick Fury and Spider-Man. Aalya Secura is then attacked by Grey Hulk, but gets some help from Rogue. As Rogue lays lefts and rights on Banner, Aalya Secura comes up and plunges her lightsaber into his stomach. Thanos sets his eyes on Magneto, but is blindsided by Mr. Mxyzptlk who has reappeared and blasted him with some Fifth Dimension magic. “Imp, I told you would pay,” growls Thanos. “No Thanny, you said I would rude the day…or something like that,” Mxyzptlk quips back. Thanos is about to fire a huge energy blast when Mr. Mxyzptlk turns him into an action figure. “Sweet. This is going to fetch me a mint on E-Bay!” exclaims the Imp. Gandalf quickly retaliates and blasts Mxyzptlk with an enormous amount of magic and disintegrates him. Once again, Hal Jordan finds himself as one of the last members of Better Than All of You still alive. “Ok Gandalf. I’ve been here before, and I’ve seen a lot of good friend fall in this situations,” Hal gravely says to the White Wizard. “Not to worry Hal. If it’s our time then it’s our time. But make no mistake, when it is time, you will have seat on the boat to the Undying Lands,” Gandalf reassures Green Lantern. They both then charge like Paul Newman and Robert Redford do at the end of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Unfortunately it ends the same way.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!

Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs The Abomitrons

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are Krayt Dragon #1 & 2, Darth Vader, Darth Talon, Red Hulk, Wolverine, Doomsday, King Hiss, Dark Phoenix, Holocaust, Orion, Magog, Arkillo, Double Cross, Fangry & Briscoe, Fly Wheels, Vehicle Voltron, Triggerhappy & Blowpipe, and Slugslinger & Caliburst.

The Abomitrons are Cerberus, Hancock, Blade, Iron Man, Cyborg Superman, Abin Sur, Ben 10 Alien Force, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, Ax-battler, Tyris Flare, Gilius Thunderhead, The Crew of Serenity, Commander Cody, Capt. Rex, Elite Clone Trooper #21-30, Stryfe, Horri-Bull & Kreb, Capt. America, Bucky, Nomad, Baby Bucky, Kirby, Rotta the Hutt, & Jedi Knight #36-38.

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches arrive on Arrakis hungry and ready for a fight. “I will not tolerate anymore of this team’s insolence. There is no reason for our current record. Do not leave this planet today without victory,” Darth Vader says to his eager crew of killers. Red Hulk and Doomsday both take off, charging right towards The Abomitrons. Doomsday then leaps high into the air, and crashes into Serenity. The ship takes a hard turn down and crashes into the sand with a horrible explosion. Doomsday slowly walks out unscathed and with blood dripping off of his body. “Heh. Nice one. Now watch this,” says Rulk. He charges in and goes after the Elite Clonetroopers. Rulk stomps Elite Clonetrooper #30 into the sand and crushes #24 in his massive hands. He’s then knocked a few hundred feet by a wicked punch courtesy of Hancock. He then flies right up to Rulk and kicks him as hard as he can in the crotch, which sends Rulk high into the air. Hancock flies up after him, but Rulk wraps him in a bear hug. They start falling back down to the ground. Hancock manages to get one arm free and as Rulk is maniacally laughing, he shoves his hand down Rulk’s throat and rips out his lungs. Hancock then lets Rulk’s body crash into the sand and he flies away, but not before discarding the lungs. “Damn, Hancock. Was that really necessary?” asks Nomad through The Abomitrons Starktech Comlinks. “Well it worked. Didn’t it?” replies Hancock. Then the trio of Iron Man, Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur take to the skies and engage the Backyardigans. Darth Vader sees this vain attempt and sends Vehicle Voltron, and all of the team’s Transformers to dispatch of the airborne Abomitrons. Fangry flies ahead of the rest of the robots, ignoring the orders given to them by Lord Vader. Abin Sur then creates a giant green ax with his power ring and drives it betwixt Fangry’s head. Slugslinger and Triggerhappy along with their Targetmasters, Caliburst and Blowpipe, then start zipping through the air, firing wildly at their opponents. Cyborg Superman and Iron Man both evade the oncoming gunfire with amazing grace and ease. And in a flurry of repulsor rays and heat vision, they destroy the two Decepticon jets and their Targetmasters. Flywheels is busy arguing to himself, due to his horrible split personality and is shot down by the Commander Cody and Captain Rex led Elite Clonetroopers. Doublecross then breathes a double blast of fusion-powered fire from both of his heads at Iron Man. Abin Sur manages to throw up a green energy wall in front of Iron Man. Cyborg Superman then flies up behind the Autobot monster and rips one of his heads off. He then yanks out Doublecross’s spark. Iron Man, Cyborg Superman and Abin Sur then regroup to face the massive Voltron of the Near Universe. Iron Man uses his Starktech to scan Vehicle Voltron and determine the correct course of action. “Don’t worry Tony, I’ve got this one,” calmly states Cyborg Superman. He then takes control of Vehicle Voltron, regardless of how hard its pilots resists and try to fight back. He then manipulates Voltron and makes it rips itself apart. “Enough! This must end now!” bellows an enraged Darth Vader. Orion and Arkillo both fly up and attack the three Abomitrons. Arkillo doesn’t hesitate and creates at yellow spear and thrusts it into Abin Sur. Iron Man and Orion are engaged in a fast paced dogfight. Iron Man zips through the air, firing his repulsor rays at Orion, but Orion deflects them with an Astro Force energy shield. Orion blast Iron Man with the Astro Force, which is just simply too much for Iron Man’s armor to defend. Back on the ground, Captain America has taken the squad of Bucky, Nomad, Baby Bucky, Stryfe, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, Ax Battler, Tyris Flare, Gilius Thunderhead, and Jedi Knight #36 up onto a rock formation. “Ok men, we’ve got this team up against the wall. Now lets finish it,” Captain America says to his teammates. “Ha! Let’s see you try!” exclaims Magog, who hears Cap’s inspiring words. He, then along with Holocaust and King Hiss, attacks. Magog fires a blast from his trident and blows a hole through Bucky. “This time. STAY DEAD!” shouts Magog. King Hiss is then jumped by all three Golden Axe characters and is hacked to pieces before he can conjure any magic. Holocaust drains the life from Nomad and Baby Bucky, and then blows Sgt. Mike Shinsky away with an energy blast. Magog tries to blast Captain America, but he blocks it with his shield. Jedi Knight #36 leaps in and cuts Magog’s trident in half with his lightsaber. Holocaust then helps his teammate by blasting Jedi Knight #36 in the back. Captain America throws his shield, which knocks Magog down and hits Holocaust in the back of the head. Cap grabs the shield out of the air and in mid jump. He then brings it crashing down on to Holocaust’s protective helmet/armor. He shatters the armor, and then brings it down again, connecting with Holocaust’s skull. Stryfe picks Magog up with his telekinesis and look puzzled. “You look very familiar. Do I know you? Nevermind,” says Stryfe as he uses his telekinesis to shut Magog’s brain down. Wolverine then leaps down off of a cliff that he was perched upon. He drives his claws deep into Ax Battler and then cuts Tyris Flare’s sword in half. She is about to cast one of her fire magic spells, when Wolverine sticks his claws right up under her chin. Gilius then charges Logan and knocks him down. The two short hairy fighters then square off. Gilius swings his mighty ax and drives it into Wolverine’s abdomen. Wolverine then grabs the dwarf by the beard and stabs him in the chest with his claws. He pulls the ax out of his side and crumple in the sand, allowing his healing factor begin working. Commander Cody and Captain Rex lead the Elite Clonetroopers against Darth Vader and Darth Talon. They are simply out matches against the two Sith Lords. Every last one of the Elite Clonetroopers falls quickly to Darth Talon and Darth Vader. Lord Vader then uses the Force to grab a hold of Captain Rex. “You used to be such a valuable asset to me Rex,” says Vader. He then Force chokes him and throws him to the ground. Vader’s new apprentice then strikes down Commander Cody. Krayt Dragons #1 and 2 come in and attack the Ben 10 Alien Force, but actually to little avail. Ben turns into Humongousaur and eats Krayt Dragon #1. Gwen then fires beams from her eyes at Krayt Dragon #2, while Kevin turns into solid rock and rams into the side of the dragon. Gwen then creates a large energy construct meat cleaver and cuts the Krayt Dragon #2’s head off. Dark Phoenix finally enters the fray and instantly makes an impact. She vaporizes Rotta the Hutt, Jedi Knights #37 and 38. She then takes off up in the air after Cyborg Superman and Hancock. Cyborg Superman is the first to attack, and tries everything he can, but she just turns him into crystal. The now crystallized Hank Henshaw falls from the sky and shatters on impact. “Aww, what the hell. Bring it on woman!” yells Hancock. He flies straight at the cosmic powerhouse and actually connects with a right cross. She then fires back and sends him sailing into the sand below. Everyone in the battle pauses for a second in awe as Hancock gets back up and shakes the sand off. “Damn woman,” grumbles Hancock. He then prevented from going back after Dark Phoenix as Doomsday charges in and spear tackles Hancock. Arkillo flies down and attacks Horri-Bull. The Decepticon Headmaster wildly fires his flamethrower and concussion blaster at the Sinestro Corp member. Arkillo dodges this wild attack and uses his yellow power ring to blast several holes into the Transformer. Cerberus then knocks him to the ground as Blade flips in and cuts the arm off of the carnivore. Cerberus finishes him off be ripping open his torso and devouring his entrails. Doomsday and Hancock are going blow for blow, slamming each other in the sand, causing a huge dust cloud. Doomsday kicks Hancock down and leaps on top of him. He starts pounding his fist into Hancock chest. He finally kills Hancock and lets out a mighty roar. Orion fires his Astro Force at Captain America’s back but Kirby jumps in and swallows all of the blast. Kirby then fires the Astro Force right back at Orion, which stuns the son of Darkseid badly. Cap then leaps in with Kirby in hand and has Kirby fire the Astro Force at point blank range, killing Orion. The team of Darth Vader, Darth Talon, Doomsday, Dark Phoenix and a rejuvenated Wolverine now face off against Blade, Cerberus, Captain America, Kirby, Stryfe and the Ben 10 crew. Darth Talon goes after the Ben 10 crew and cuts Kevin in half. Ben transforms into Brainstorm and creates a force field around Gwen and him. The Sith Twi’lek slashes at the force field with her lightsaber as Wolverine goes after Kirby. He quickly cuts the pink ball in to a dozen pieces. Logan then stares down Stryfe. He lunges at him, but is caught in mid air by Stryfe’s telekinesis. Doomsday leaps in and smashes Stryfe into the ground, which cause Wolverine to drop to the sand. Dark Phoenix flies in and without a second though blasts through Ben/Brainstorm’s force field and incinerates the two Abomitrons kids. Blade and Captain America then move in to double team Darth Vader. Blade throws a glave at Vader, who uses the Force to redirect it back at Blade and into his shoulder. Blade drops to one knee as Vader relieves him of his head in one quick swipe of his lightsaber. He then uses the Force to throw Blade’s body at Captain America. Lord Vader jumps at Cap, but Cap leaps up and smashes his shield into Vader’s chest piece. It starts sparking badly, which Captain America capitalizes on. He slams his shield down on to Vader’s helmet, killing the Sith Lord. But just before the shield connects, Vader in a last ditch effort, uses the Force to throw his lightsaber into Cap’s abdomen. Darth Talon comes in behind him and thrusts her lightsaber into his back. “That was for my master,” grows Darth Talon. Cerberus is now the final member of the Abomitrons that still stands. The three-headed dog doesn’t hesitate and charges Doomsday. He knocks the monster down and his middle head snaps at Doomsday. But Doomsday grabs a hold of Cerberus’s jaw and literally rips it off. Dark Phoenix then comes in and obliterates the rest of Cerberus with a blast of cosmic energy.

BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS BEEYAATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!

The Untouchables vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

PREVIOUSLY IN THE FFL. . .

UNTOUCHABLES - SHE-HULK

She-Hulk: I still cannot believe that I was traded by the Horsemen!

Stampa: Don’t complain! Now you’re on a real team. . . with real women!

Granny Goodness: That’s right my dear. I have trained you all well.

KENNELZ – AHSOKA TANO

Tano: I will make you proud today, Master.

Anakin Skywalker: You always make me proud, Snips. Just make sure you keep your head in the match. [Foreshadowing].

UNTOUCHABLES – MATT OBLAK

Matt Oblak: We get a tank, honey. No one is going to stop us today. Not even Bauer!

Teresa Oblak: He gets too much credit. He definitely isn’t man enough to face up to the red headed fury – Horatio Caine. Where is he anyway?

Paula Dean: Not sure. Something about going onto the field early to investigate a death before the match even started.

Teresa Oblak: Who?

KENNELZ – AJAX

Ajax: I’m looking forward to destroying some Freman!

Barbarossa: I’m with you on that one!

Hrrm: Me too!

UNTOUCHABLES – HORATIO CAINE

Horatio Caine slowly walks upon a scene of a dead Madam Razz with her broom and feet jutting from the sand. Horatio, turns sideways and slowly takes his sunglasses off.

Caine: Sergeant, what do we have here?

Sgt. Todd: Razz. Dead.

Caine: I see that Sergeant. What do you think happened?

Todd: Looks like she put up a valiant fight, but fell short.

Caine [puts his sunglasses on]: Well Sergeant. It looks like Razz. . . got jazzed.

I PROVIDE LOUDSPEAKERS OF THE WHO’S “WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN.” The combatants look to the sky. SORRY. . . .

The combatants are:

The Untouchables. The Untouchables are Horatio Caine, Sinestro (with original green lantern ring), Deadpool and Paula Dean in a tank, Onslaught, Fremen #43-54, Granny Goodness, The Female Furies: Gilotina, Stampa, Bernadeth and Mad Harriet, Malificent, Merlin, She-Hulk, Duncan Idaho Ghola #9, The Constructicons, The Protectobots, Streetwise, Brawl (movie), She-Ra with Swift Wind, Pikachu, Madam Razz with Broom, Sgt. Todd (from “Soldier”) and Matt and Teresa Oblak in a Landspeeder.

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve. The Kennelz are Fremen #1-30, Barbarossa (cymek), Ajax (cymek), Hrrm, Scorponok and Lord Zarock (head), Scorponok (movie), Anakin Skywalker in an F-18 Raptor, Ahsoka Tano, Green Lanterns #1, 2, 4 and 5, Jack Bauer, Justin Oblak in a tank and Treasure Troll #25.

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 4:00 P.M. AND 5:00 P.M.

4:00:00, 4:00:01, 4:00:02. . .

Matt and Teresa Oblak are riding in their Landspeeder over the battlefield. As the couple comes over the dune, they are faced with Justin Oblak in a tank (and Jack Bauer along for the ride).

Bauer: Just like Bonnie and Clyde, Oblak. Take them out.

Justin: I’m thinking more Thelma and Louise. [Bauer gives Justin a mean stare].

Bauer: Doesn’t matter; it ends for them. . . now.

The tank fires and strikes the Landspeeder. The speeder crashes and Matt and Teresa are thrown from the vehicle. Bauer and Justin quickly jump out of the tank and head for the two injured Untouchables.

Bauer: Where is the rest of your team?

Teresa: Not really sure what you’re talking about. We are just a happy couple out for a quick bite and watching the sandworms.

Bauer: Don’t play games! [Bauer points the gun at Matt’s head]. Where are your teammates!?!

Teresa: Please! I don’t know what you’re talking about!

Justin: Come on Jack, give them a break. Remember, this is supposed to be a kinder and friendlier Vick team – I mean after that whole dog thinggie.

Bauer: If you don’t have the stomach for this, leave! Now!!!!

Justin: Okay, Jack. Okay. Do what you have to.

Bauer: I’m only going to give you one more chance. Where is the rest of your team?

Teresa [a tear shedding]: I. . . .don’t. . . know.

Bauer pulls the trigger and kills Matt.

Teresa: NO!!!!!

Bauer: One more chance, or the next bullet is for you!

Teresa: Go to Hell you sonofab#@ch! You’ll get yours!

Bauer (shoots Teresa): They were trained well. Neither of them were going to give us any info. Let’s go!

Bauer and Oblak rush back to their tank.

4:03:05, 4:03:06, 4:03:07. . .

Treasure Troll #25 and Pikachu are in a tremendous fight. Although the Treasure Troll manages to punch Pikachu a few times, his hair always manages to flop into his face. The last “hair flop” allows Pikachu to use a lightning blast against Treasure Troll #25. The Trolls hair catches on fire. Troll #25 begins to roll in the sand, hoping to quash the flames. Pikachu uses this to his advantage and with another lightning bolt, kills Troll #25.

The tanks storm the sandy wastelands. Justin Oblak (and Jack Bauer) in their tank face off against Deadpool and Paula Dean. The tanks fire upon one another repeatedly. Each tank suffers a ton of damage. Each team is determined to stay in the tank as long as they can and hopefully take out the other side before they have to evacuate their vehicle. Bauer and Oblak’s tank catches on fire.

Bauer: Get out!

Oblak: I’m not leaving without you!

Bauer: I have this handled! Get out!

Oblak looks back at Bauer with a look of “bromance.” Just as Oblak raises his head above the tank’s latch, it is blown off by the keen marksmanship of Horatio Caine, who is riding bareback behind She-Ra on Swiftwind next to the tank.

Bauer: Oblak!!!!

Bauer’s tank fills up with the enough smoke and pieces of Oblak’s brains that Bauer knows he must abandon the vehicle. Before he leaves the tank, Bauer manages to fire one final time; that is all he needs. The other tank implodes at the concussion of the blast. Deadpool manages to escape the vehicle with the help of Green Lantern #2’s ring, but Paula Dean becomes a tub of stew (and not the yummy kind that she is known for). Brawl (in tank mode) then fires a death blow to Bauer’s tank. Bauer barely manages to escape. The implosion and explosion of the tanks throw pieces across the sky and sand, striking Swifwind as the horse rides off with Caine and She-Ra.

Swiftwind, carrying her riders to safety, comes to a halt and lies down, mortally wounded. Caine and She-Ra compassionately get off the steed. She-Ra kneels before her friend.

She-Ra: My friend, Swiftwind. Your death will be avenged.

Caine [standing to the side with his glasses off now, looking down at the horse]: She-Ra, you have my word. We will take Bauer down. I have a special gift for him. And you know the saying, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. [Horatio puts his sunglasses on]

4:15:12, 4:15:13, 4:15:14. . .

Freman #1-30 of the Kennelz meet Fremen #43-54 of the Untouchables. The two dune warrior teams crash into one another. After the dust clears from the battling, Kennelz Freman #1-7 are dead. Likewise, Untouchables’ Freman # 45-50 are also dead. Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax come upon the scene. Barbarossa’s and Ajax’s cymek ferocity, Hrrm’s brute strength and the repeated attacks of the remaining Kennelz Freman manage to decimate the final ranks of the Untouchables Freman # 43, 44 and 51-54.

Kennelz Freman #8-30 follow the Barbarossa, Hrrm and Ajax into battle. The Dune-dwellers rush to meet the next wave of Untouchables. They are met by Duncan Idaho Ghola #9. Idaho stands before The Constructicons, The Protectobots, Streetwise, and Brawl (movies). The combatants focus on one another, looking for a weakness to take advantage of. The battlefield teams hear an aerial object streaking their way. It turns out to be Anakin Skywalker in an F-18 Raptor. Skywalker’s enhanced Jedi skills manage to target Streetwise in the precise location to destroy the Transformer. Steetwise explodes at the hands of Skywalker’s missiles. The other Protectobots, in robot mode, see their comrade destroyed. Thus, Hot Spot, Blades, Groove and First Aid all focus their weapons on the Jedi. Likewise, the Constructicons all combine together to form Devastator. Although the Jedi manages to use his force abilities to avoid a majority of the weapons fired at him, with the addition of Devastator, it is too much. Skywalker ejects before the plane explodes and crashes into a hundred pieces into the sand below. As he reaches the ground, he is met by Ahsoka Tano. They both ignite their lightsabers and join the rest of their team.

The Jedi work together and manage to actually damage Devastator. Devastator comes apart and forms the original vehicle mode Constructicons, being Bonecrusher, Scavanger, Scrappy, Hook, Long Haul and MixMaster. Although the sand effects the vehicles treads the Constructicons still manage to run over and kill Freman #20-30.

Constructicons (in unison): Can we kill them? Yes we can!!!! [SHOUT OUT TO “BOB THE BUILDER”!]

4:28:45, 4:28:46, 4:28:47. . .

Granny Goodness stands with her Female Furies, looking over the sandy landscape.

Goodness: I have trained you all well. Rise up and defeat those Kennelz scum! Kill them all!

The Female Furies rush to the battlefield. Gilotina, Stampa, Bernadeth and Mad Harriet each use their special powers to destroy the remaining Freman #8-19. Gilotina’s hands slice through Freman #8-11; Bernadeth’s fahren knife dispatches Freman #12-15; and Harriet’s energy claws kill Freman #16-19. Stompa creates earthquakes by stomping her boots on the sand. The aftershocks cause an immense sand slide which pulls Scrappy and MixMaster under the sand and to their deaths.

Tano and Skywalker enter the fray. They focus on the Furies and Granny Goodness. Stompa stomps the ground. Although the Jedi are off balance, it is only for a few seconds. Skywalker manages to continually force-leap over the ground’s quaking and strikes Stompa down. Gilotina and Harriet gang up on Tano. Harriet’s claws manage to slash Tano across her chest. As Tano hunches over Gilotina chops her head off. Skywalker sees this and losing his senses. Enraged and filled with emotion, Skywalker rushes at the Furies. Skywalker repeatedly deflects Granny’s powers and comes upon the Furies. Relentlessly, Skywalker slashes at the women. He eventually kills Gilotina, Harriet and Bernadeth. Granny Goodness uses her Apokoliptian powers to strike at Anakin again. The powers force Anakin on the ground and eventually Anakin is killed by Granny. Just as Granny is about to leave the area, Scorponok and Zarek rush from behind and kills Goodness.

Deadpool and Sgt. Todd rush at Anakin, firing at him with their weapons. The warriors know that since Anakin has been wounded by Granny he would be easier prey to deal with. It turns out their guns are not enough. Anakin force pushes both men down on the ground. Scorponok and Zarek, still lurking near the Jedi, rushes at the men and kills them.

Jack Bauer comes upon Pikachu.

Bauer: Where is Caine?

Pikachu garbles intelligible drivel. Bauer grabs the small Pokemon around the neck.

Bauer: Don’t fight it. Don’t fight it and it’ll be easier on you.

Bauer strangles Pikachu. He then looks to the sky.

4:36:10, 4:36:11, 4:36:12. . .

In the air, Sinestro battles his equals; Green Lanterns #1, 2, 4 and 5. Sinestro, being a stronger and more adept individual, manages to kill Green Lanterns #1 and 4. Green Lanterns #2 and 5 manage to deflect Sinestro’s rings blasts back at him. Sinestro is struck and falls to the ground. As he lands on the sand below, he is protected by Malificent and Merlin. The Lanterns come upon the magic wielders. Although the magic wielders seem more frail, they dupe the Lanterns closer. Malificent transforms into a dragon and kills Lantern # 2. Merlin then casts a spell of madness upon Lantern #5. Lantern #5 kills himself with his own ring. As Malificent (now in human-form) and Merlin turn to enter the main fray the ground beneath them swells. Scorponok (movie), likes its other incarnation, rises from the ground and takes the magic wielders in its pincers and rips them apart. It locates a wounded Sinestro on the ground and takes advantage of this situation. It kills Sinestro without a thought.

The remaining Constructicons, Protectobots and Brawl face off against the Scorponoks. Protectobots: Hot Spot, Blades, Groove and First Aid with Transformers: Bonecrusher, Scavanger, Hook, and Long Haul fight against the Scorponoks. A furious battle erupts between the Transformers. They switch from robot to vehicle mode, utilizing their strengths in each form. The Scorponoks manage to destroy Hot Spot, Groove, First Aid, Scavanger, Hook and Long Haul.

Barbarossa, Ajax and Hrrm face off against She-Ra, She-Hulk and Duncan Idaho Ghola #9. She-Ra uses her magical sword and impales Hrrm. Bloodthirsty and psychotic Ajax is not affected by She-Ra’s sword’s blows. He manages to reach She-Ra’s neck with his arms and strangles her to death. She-Hulk and Barbarossa are in a match of brute strength. She-Hulk does get the upper hand and smashes Barbarossa. Ajax, seeing his other bested by the She-Hulk, focuses all of his cymek power in a battle of wills and tenacity against She-Hulk. The cyborg is eventually too much and kills She-Hulk. Ajax then dispatches Idaho.

4:51:02, 4:51:03, 4:51:04. . .

Onslaught: ENOUGH!!!!

Onslaught finally comes to the battle. He sees Ajax and crushes the cyborg with his magnetism powers. He then focuses on both Scorponoks. He uses his abilities to raise the Scorponoks in the air together and then smashes and twists them together into a pretzel form. Both Scorponoks (along with Zarock) are destroyed.

Brawl turns to see Jack Bauer behind the destroyed and pretzeled Scorponoks. Brawl fires and flushes Bauer out. Onslaught then gets ahold of Bauer and makes him come to his team simply by using his mind.

Bauer: You may have this hour, but in the end the Kennelz will win the day!

Horatio Caine comes upon the scene.

Caine (with sunglasses off and facing sideways): That may be true Mr. Bauer. [Caine puts his glasses on]. But day won’t be for a long time, now will it?

Caine walks away in slow-mo as Onslaught crushes Bauer with his bare hands.

4:59:58, 4:59:59, 5:00:00. . .

The Untouchables: Onslaught, Horatio Caine, Brawl (movie), Blades and Bonecrusher survive.

Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve: All dead.

THE UNTOUCHABLE ARE VICTORIOUS!!!

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Sandworm #1-13, Ginaz Swordsman #15, Dorf, Shatterstar, Jawa #1-10, Starro, Hawkman & Hawkwoman, Shazam, Scarlet Witch, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, Doc Brown, Lobo, Agent-X, Ron Popeil, Marine #2-14, & Ewok #4 & 5.

Xavier’s Annihialtion Squad is Imhotep, The Scorpion King, Anck Su Namun, Silver Samurai, Ursa, Mary Embery, (movie) Bone Crusher, (movie) Barricade, Paul Atreides, The Sinister Six: Sandman, Hobgoblin, Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Vulture, & Electro, Reverse Flash, Shredder, Spawn, Zorro, Walker: Texas Ranger, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Geo-Force, Apocalypse, Shinobi & Yamato, The Leprechaun, Samurai #21-25, Atreides Soldier #11-13.


Ahhhhhh! What a great feeling it is for the Murderflies to be in the cinnamon enriched, arid landscape that is Arrakis. It is truly wonderful for the entire spice addicted team to be able to be on a planet that might as well be a giant spice tank, where their captive Sandworms can once again feel free and alive. For Brock Sampson’s boys being on this planet is like putting Kurt Cobain and Layne Staley directly into the heroine needle and then putting that little plastic cap back on. The Annihilation Squad on the other hand (like every other sane group of people) think that this place is an absolute S**t hole (but hey to each their own). To begin the fight Starro instantly disobeys Gen. Popeil’s orders by attacking the Annihilation Squad on his own. Paul Atreides sees how this creature of enormous telepathic energy is approaching and simply tells his team to get away from him. Walker Texas Ranger agrees because he is always right but Reverse Flash (from now on we’ll refer to him as his other name Zoom because it is not nearly as dumb) asks Paul “Why would we run away from one single member of their team? Aren’t we here to fight”? “We aren’t running from the Starfish” Paul says as he is already high-tailing it out of the area. Just then 6 Sandworms eject out of the sand around them leaving lightning like ripples in the ground. The Sandworms consume Starro, Anck Su Namun, Bone Crusher, Dr. Octopus, Shredder, Spawn, Silver Samurai, Darth Ocron, Shinobi, Yamato, & Samurai #22. This is such a tremendous melee of destruction that Sandworm #11 also is killed by its brethren in the process. General Popeil pulls out what is not so much an invention but an innovation of an old classic. Straight out of the Arrakis archives the Popester has used Fremen technology and Ronco know-how to create what he simply calls the Thumper Launcher. Every Fremen from age 5 and up knows how to plant a thumper so they can summon a worm to ride; but what if you want to summon the worm to send it somewhere else? That’s right, you guessed it! With the new patented Thumper Launcher from Ronco all you have to do is attach your Thumper (not included) into your Ronco Thumper Launcher, aim, point, and pull your Ronco quick release safety trigger and you can summon a worm to somewhere where you aren’t (only 6 easy payments of $33.32). ACT NOW! This spiel prompts the Leprechaun, though hundreds of meters away and on the other team to start singing everybody’s favorite St. Patrick’s Day commercial: “We’ve______ ______Got____ Bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains and bargains……… Gen. Popeil himself takes aim with the first thumper launcher which he shoots as close to the Annihilation Squad as possible. The thumper imitates the patter of human feet which summons the mighty worm to the surface. Once the maker has come onto the landscape a brave Geo-force tries to break up the sand around the worm in what turns out to be a vain attempt at attack as the worm instantly consumes him and is completely unaffected by Geo Force’s power. The Mighty Apocalypse extends his body to its largest possible form and tries to punch the side of Sandworm #3 but it is of no use as he and the remaining 4 Samurai, along with Zorro, Vulture, and Hobgoblin are all crushed to death by the sheer weight of the amazing creature. The Sandworm retreats back into its natural habitat and leaves all involved alone for the time being. The Fremen in Paul Atreides has no illusions about the unstoppable force that is the Sandworms of Dune but as the son of a Duke he also knows that if his team is going to have any chance against this amazing display of desert power than they are going to have to go on the offensive. Paul Maud Dib’ sees that there are several members of his team that have quite amazing desert manipulation skills that he has no desire to put to waste. So he sends Imhotep, Scorpion King, Anck-su-namun, Sandman, Barricade, and Walker (he’s good at everything) to personally attack the rock outcropping that Gen. Popeil and his men are hiding out in and blasting thumpers from. He sends Zoom and Mysterio out as a scouting duo to help them out. Paul then creates a team of fighters that he believes could be powerful enough to kill a sandworm. For this he puts Ursa, Mary Embery, Darth Voltress, Electro, & The Leprechaun on the ready for when The Murderflies shoot the next thumper. Doc Brown: Popeil’s right hand man, straight-up brother from another mother, and (in Latin) Gluttimuss Maximus Best Friendicus pulls out his Thumper Launcher and launches the next thumper back toward the Annihilation Squad. Ursa’s team waits patiently for the worm to come while Paul puts himself into a trance like state to try and foresee a better course of action than the one that is before him. Zoom and Mysterio arrive at the Murderfly holdout first. They take them by surprise with one of Mysterio’s illusions and Zoom picks up a rock throwing it into Scarlet Witch’s head, killing her before she even knows that they are there. Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup rush into action and attack Zoom. Zoom knocks Blossom to the ground but the other 2 Power Puff Girls rip the Reverse Flash limb from limb. Mysterio attacks the 2 ewoks. He manages to kill ewok #4 but Ewok #5 is so severely wasted on spice laced groudy mimosas that he just thinks he is watching a light show of some sort. Lobo avenges the ewok by sticking his hook into Mysterio’s head. Shazam flies out to meet the next wave but some of the squad manages to move past him and keep moving toward Popeil’s peeps in the cave. Sandman & Imhotep stay to fight Shazam out in the wide open dunes. Sandman & Imhotep use their similar powers together well and bury Capt. Marvel in so much sand that even he can’t seem to throw it off fast enough. Shazam is hurling lightning at the 2 sand masters but he can’t get it to go thru. During this process there is so much lightning being flung around that they do not even notice the worm sign approaching. Sandman & Imhotep manage to drown Capt. Marvel in sand but the giant worm that pops out in front of them is used to thousands of pounds of sand pouring into his mouth, so when the huge maker engulfs the 2 sand throwers it does not even notice a difference. Barricade transforms into robot form but he is blasted by the 10 Jawas and their mini ion cannons. They quickly begin to take the Decepticon apart mid-battle despite what is going on around them. Meanwhile on the other side of the battlefield Sandworm #7 has popped up in response to the thumper shot by Doc Brown. Ursa and Mary Embery fly on either side of the great worm attempting to get a good position for attack while Darth Voltress & Electro turn out to be somewhat useless against the giant beast and are crushed underneath it. The Leprechaun begins zapping the worm with his evil little powers while Ursa picks up the heap of metal that was once Bone Crusher and hits the Sandworm with it. The Decepticon cracks open leaving its disrupted spark out on the sands. Mary Embery picks it up and flies into the mouth of the worm. She throws what is left of Bone Crusher deep into the worm and then attempts to get out but is trapped inside and digested. Moments later the spark erupts inside the stomach of Sandworm #7 which kills him. More worms begin to resurface and Ursa and The Leprechaun resume their attack. Walker faces off against Agent-X in fight that consists of some super gnarly martial arts moves until Hawkman & Hawkwoman fly in to help Agent-X. Agent-X gets a hold of Walker for just long enough for the Hawk couple to bludgeon him to death with their maces. While Gen. Popeil is busy giving orders The Scorpion King runs toward him to attack. Marine #2 knows that one hit from this brute will kill their invention genius so even though he knows he has 9 FFL deaths he jumps in front of his beloved general to take the hit for him. The other 11 marines open fire on The Scorpion King and Shatterstar lends them some melee help to kill off the “Rock” hard Scorpion King, but he does manage to take out Marines #3 & 13 as well. When the next Sandworm pops out Ursa and The Leprechaun both attack once more but with no Transformers to use as weapons or help from Mary Embery the Sandworm devours The Leprechaun first and then even the mighty Kryptonian woman known as Ursa succumbs to the mighty belly of the maker. As the massive worms of Dune wildly move along the upset landscape of Arrakis Paul Maud Dib reaches into his Frem Kit and pulls out a thumper of his own. Paul tries to get his 3 loyal Atreides guards to follow him as he climbs on to the back of Sandworm #10 but not one of them makes it. Once atop the massive worm Usul as he is known by the Fremen in his sietch pulls out a set of maker hooks and begins controlling the Sandworm’s direction. He whispers his apologies to the holy worm in between his uttering of the Bene Gesserit Litany of Fear as he directs Sandworm #10 with its massive mouth full of would-be crysknives right into the side of Sandworm #8, ripping into the beasts and causing such a tumultuous crash that it mortally wounds both the worms. As a broken and bruised Paul lay in the sand he smiles to himself knowing that he just accomplished a miraculous feat but when he sees the massive Sandworm #1 coming down on top of him his smile gets even bigger due to the fact that he always knew that even the powerful and worshipped Maud Dib cannot stop Shai Halud from ruling the desert.
BROCK SAMPSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!