UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXIII: A BOMBARDMENT OF BASHING AND BRAVADO

            Entire buildings topple as a relentless cannonade of energy bursts and a fusillade of sheer strength are utilized by the combatants.  Doomslayer and Annihilus lock themselves together in an embrace of extinction while Eradicator and Vulcan grapple in a dance of destruction. 

“An ugly beast you are,” vocalizes Annihilus.  “An ugly death you deserve.”

Doomslayer bellows at the insult.  The hybrid throws Annihilus through one of the buildings, shattering a tunnel of glass, plaster, mortar and steel.  Before Annihilus can shake the effects of this pummeling, Doomslayer repeatedly crushes the Anthrosian with a barrage of blows.  If not for the insectoid exoskeleton armor worn by Annihilus, the alien would have been destroyed ten times over. 

***

Vulcan sees Eradicator’s body screaming toward him.  Gabriel Summers immediately encases himself in a force field and manipulates the layer so that it becomes a clear sheen against his body.  Eradicator grabs Vulcan and smashes him through a building’s interior.  Although Vulcan feels the impact, he does not experience true pain because of his protective coating. 

Vulcan eventually gains his wits and attempts to siphon the energy from Eradicator.  Eradicator is struck by the blast and falls to the ground, destroying the concrete in a twenty yard circumference emitting from the impact.  Vulcan then projects a burst of energy that throws Eradicator through a tower, shredding it in the process and toppling it to the ground. 

***

            The Lord of the Negative Zone wields his cosmic control rod in order to destroy Doomslayer.  The first blast from the rod is only a hindrance to the Doomsday entity.  Annihilus determines that the second use of his weapon must be more effective.  Annihilus does not hold back the rod’s power and he unleashes the full cosmic powers of the weapon upon Doomslayer.  The beast screams in agony before his body shudders and then explodes.

Annihilus cackles and is suddenly struck from behind by Eradicator.   Eradicator flips Annihilus around so that the alien faces his own cosmic control rod. 

“Let’s see how you like it,” coldly states Eradicator.

Eradicator uses the rod to manipulate the molecular structure of Annihilus.  Annihilus becomes discombobulated and is then struck by a concussive force that shatters the essence of his being and kills him.  Eradicator soars from the ended skirmish toward the remaining mutant.

“It is but you and I now,” chides Vulcan. 

Eradicator uses his computer-like analytical ability again and without a sound flies at Vulcan.  Vulcan shoots an energy blast at Eradicator, who shrugs off the strike.  Eradicator uses his newfound weapon, which he is able to control due to his enhanced abilities, and disrupts the protective shield around Vulcan.  Before Summers can react, a fist smashes through his skull.  The Kryptonian entity shakes Vulcan’s body from his hand and flies away.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXII: TALK OF THE TELEPATHS

            The telepaths of the Horsemen look to one another and speak without moving their lips.  Their minds chime with the words pushed through their silent powers.

I see many conclusions to this battle; most not appeasing to our side, says Exodus to a hovering Phoenix.

Like all timelines though, there are alternates to which we can attempt to edge toward, answers Phoenix.

There is not, interrupts Professor X.  I believe the outcomes all lead to only one finale. . . an end where the Royal Highness is triumphant.

I, myself, believe that the streams flow toward a victory for the Horsemen of Apokolips, returns Exodus.

Enough banter gentlemen, orders Phoenix.  We will settle this debate on the battlefield.

As will we, sister, says Vampire Jean Grey.  You may be a more powerful incarnation of myself, but even you are no match for what follows.

Your hubris will be your undoing, states Phoenix. As it is with all your vampire kind. 

In battle shall we meet, Grey invites.

And to that I shall look forward to, responds Phoenix.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XXI: BLACK ATTACK

             BL Yoda races back to his Horsemen teammates.

“On the verge of losing his mind, he is,” says the Jedi Master to his comrades. ”The dark side to Joseph has it engulfed.”

“If we lose him, what chance do we stand?” asks Hope Summers.

“We cannot dwell on what might occur,” states Exodus.  “We need to focus on only one thing. . . winning the Bowl.”

“If Joseph is lost,” rasps Annihilus, “do we have others to replace his abilities?”

“Did we lose everyone on the Technodrome?” asks Vulcan.

“All three LMDs,” states BL Thanos.  “We were able to convert the two advanced models, but the third was lost in the ship’s destruction.”

“No additional element of surprise then,” says Vulcan.

“We don’t need surprise,” claims Phoenix.  “We succeed on sheer power alone.”

Annihilus points to the sky.  The team follows his outstretched arm and looks above to view BL Dumbledore flying to his team’s section of the city. 

BL Yoda and BL Thanos take to the air.

***

BL Albus Dumbledore stops and hovers.  The wizard lantern faces BL Yoda and BL Thanos.

“I am not surprised to see you among the survivors,” states Dumbledore to Thanos, “especially since you have attempted to hide the continued existence of both Pryor and I assume Summers.  I have already notified my team through my connection with Professor X.”

Thanos grins in response to the conclusions of his enemy.

“A cultivated assumption, Dumbledore,” says Thanos.

“My team is ready for all you tried to hide and we have in place a counter for all of your trickery,” quips Dumbledore.

“Smart you think your team to be; fate shall only tell.  Victorious in your prior battle you may be,” says BL Yoda, “but prevail in the war you shall not.” 

BL Yoda ignites his lightsaber and projects a black shield from his ring.  BL Dumbledore replies by swishing his wand in one hand, while creating an energy sword construct in the other.  BL Thanos simply hovers, contemplating his next educated move.

“So, we are evenly matched aren’t we my friends,” says BL Dumbledore. 

“Not even close,” responds BL Thanos. 

BL Thanos and BL Yoda soar toward Dumbledore.  BL Yoda reaches Dumbledore first. Dumbledore’s sword construct strikes Yoda’s shield, while Yoda’s lightsaber glances off of Dumbledore’s casted spell.   Thanos rushes into the fray and projects a cosmic energy blast, which Dumbledore barely manages to escape. Hogwarts’ Headmaster twists his body and focuses on Yoda again.

“Expelliarmus!” shouts Dumbledore.  “Expelliarmus!!!”

Yoda’s lightsaber flies from his deadened hand, followed by his shield, which dissipates at the connection loss to his ring. 

The Jedi Master calmly floats, looking at his enemy.

“Expelliarmus,” whispers Dumbledore.

Yoda look down in disbelief at his finger.  The ring floats in front of his inanimate eyes.  Yoda fades into dust.

Dumbledore turns to the location of Thanos.

“And now for you,” begins Dumbledore.

“I doubt that,” says Thanos as he unleashes congruent beams of ring and cosmic energies that shred Dumbledore’s body and ring, ripping him apart. 

Thanos, knowing that he is one of two remaining Horsemen members who will enter the final graveyard should he fail in this fight, flies toward his team.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XX: SWORDS AND SORCERY

           Madelyne Pryor, anxious to enter into the final skirmish between the teams since she was strategically sidelined for the previous battles, is one of the first combatants to arrive into the fray.  She psychokinetically shifts her physical form into the astral plane and moves from the eastern section of the city to the middle where she anticipates the enemy to be.  Pryor’s skills push her to an exit next to where Paul Atreides is stationed across the street. 

           Before Atreides can react to Pryor’s physical existence appearing back in reality, the mutant clone manipulates a structure’s plate glass window pane and projects the broken shards at the Dune inhabitant.  Atreides manages to escape the brunt of the barrage, but is cut in several places.   He shrugs off his pain and grabs a large piece of glass.  He expertly launches it at Pryor’s face, but she manages to disperse a protective shield, using her abilities.  In response to the assault, Pryor telekinetically tosses Atreides away from his sheltered area.  Atreides shakes away the fog from his crash’s impact.  Pryor saunters across the street to where Atreides is crouching.

“I am recognized by some as the Goblin Queen,” say Pryor.  “Atreides. . . meet my king.”

The Witch King of Angmar infiltrates the scene and holds up his blade.  The duo meet one another on the corner of the street and the pair steadily walk toward Atreides.  Clearly outmatched, Atreides hurtles through the broken window to which he just escaped his maiming.  Pryor is the first to move through the window.  Atreides pitches his entire body from the floor with a jagged piece of glass, severing the carotid artery of Pryor.  Pryor grabs her throat as the blood flows through her fingers.

“How could you not see that coming,” asks Atreides, “witch!”

Pryor falls to the ground, dead.  Atreides slowly stands and sees the leader of the Nazgul pace through the opening.  The two enter into a rhythmic staccato dance of blades.  Eventually, the sheer power alone is too much for Muad’Dib and he is run through with the Ringwraith’s blade.  The Lord of Sauron screeches in triumph.  As the Witch King treads down the street, leaving a dead Atreides behind, BL Dumbledore flies to the scene.

            “I have fought many the likes of you,” says Dumbledore.  “More powerful even than what you believe yourself to be. . .”

            The Black Captain raises his blade, ready to fight.

“Imperio!” directs Dumbledore. 

The Witch King throws himself on his own blade.  The Nazgul attempts to free himself from his sword, but Dumbledore does not allow this action to occur.  While the Witch King struggles, Dumbledore repeatedly crushes him with lantern constructs.   A dilapidated Witch King is destroyed. Dumbledore smiles a crooked grin.

“. . . and all have failed in their endeavors against me,” finishes Dumbledore as he flies away. 

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XIX: SECRETS AND SUBTERFUGE

            A stunned Joseph looks toward BL Dumbledore.  Dumbledore smiles and flies away.  Joseph realizes he has no time to ponder what transpired and begins to work so that he may reach the final battle in time.

***

            The two teams begin to converge upon the city through the use of the teleportation circles.  The Horsemen reach the eastern part of the landscape, while the Highness crew reaches the western section. 

            “Where is Joseph?” asks Exodus.

            “Find him I will,” states BL Yoda.  “Sense his presence close do I.”  The deadened Jedi Master rises above the crowd and soars away. 

            “When will the others be here?” asks Hope Summers.

            “Your family will arrive shortly,” states Exodus.

            BL Thanos, Annihilus, Phoenix, the Witch King of Angmar, Hope Summers and Exodus surround the teleportation circle.  A beam of light emits from the round plate. Vulcan and Madelyn Pryor appear.

            “Our ruse seems to have worked,” states BL Thanos.  “There is no way that they expect your presence at this juncture of the match, especially when four of their group will report otherwise.”

            “A perfect use of Life Model Decoys 1 and 2,” states Pryor.  “The enhancements and super-human modifications created by the Anti-Monitor worked perfectly.  Too bad I lost the wand although something had to be sacrificed to assure our goal.”

            “I can’t wait to see the faces on the Royal Highness team when they realize what has transpired,” states Vulcan.  “. . . and at your survival too,” states Gabriel Summers, looking at BL Thanos.

            The Witch King of Angmar holds up his sword and screeches.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XVIII: BREAKING BAD BEARS

            The pimpmobile races down the road toward the Playoff Planet’s city region.  The enhanced radio installed by the Care Bears continues to play their favorite music group.

I wanna rock right now,
I wanna, I wanna rock right now;
I wanna, I wanna rock right now, now, now,
Rock right now.

I wanna, I wanna rock right now;
I wanna, I wanna rock right now;
I wanna, I wanna rock right now.

            Friend Bear thrashes her head up and down.  She notices four figures in red and black robes floating above the road approximately two hundred yards in front of the vehicle.

            “What the f#ck is that?!?” asks Friend Bear.

            “They aren’t motherf#ckin’ squirrels this time,” answers Bedtime Bear.

            “Wish, stop the ride!” orders Friend Bear.

            Wish Bear presses the brake pedal to the floor and the car screeches to a halt.  Wish saunters up the car seat next to her teammates.  The three bears stare at the beings and slowly reach under the seat and into the glove compartment, looking for the stashed weapons. 

***

            The Q Continuum, being q, Q2, True Q and Lady Q, inspect the bears. 

            “It defies all logic,” starts True Q, “that these creatures survive.”

            “The odds are against such an event from occurring,” states Lady Q.

            “Yet the event has occurred,” states q.

***

            “Hey,” says Wish Bear, now armed with a glock, “let’s take these punk a$$ b%&ches out!”

***

            The Anti-Monitor slows and looks to his companions, Phoenix, Hope Summers and Exodus.

            “It is time,” the Anti-Monitor says.  In the blink of an eye, the entity has vanished.

***

            The Anti-Monitor arrives, sandwiched between the Q Continuum and Care Bears. 

            “Yeah, b%&ches,” shouts Wish Bear.  “Now you’re gonna die!”

            The Q Continuum turns their focus from the bears to the Anti-Monitor, who floats directly before them.

            “This point has been foretold,” states q.

            “There is no other viable conclusion,” expresses Lady Q.

            “Your foretold conclusion is the only matter of substance at this time,” says the Anti-Monitor.  “You may ponder your existences as nearly omnipotent and immortal, but you lack the recognition that I am the one who has destroyed the infinite universes.  I have ripped apart thousands of worlds and killed millions of beings.  Four more deaths mean nothing to me.”

            The Q Continuum and Anti-Monitor refuse to hold back an ounce of their abilities.  Teleportation, time travel and various intergalactic powers reign over the match.  The Continuum, in a single act together, combines their instantaneous matter transformation powers in an attempt to overwhelm the Anti-Monitor.  In response, the Anti-Monitor absorbs the energies surging through the Continuum.  A bright light emits from the combatants and in a solitary instant, both sides disappear in a flash. 

            “Holy sh@t,” starts Wish Bear.

            “The Anti-Monitor is. . . gone,” finishes Bedtime Bear.

            “But so are those goofy motherf#ckers,” says Friend Bear.  “His sacrifice will be remembered by all on the Horsemen team. . . . . . . okay, enough of that sh#t, let’s party!!!”

            Bedtime Bear pushes the stereo system’s button.

Let me see your body rock,
Shakin' from the bottom to the top;
Freak to what the DJ drop,
We be the ones to make it hot.
(To make it hot).

Electric shock, energy like a billion watts,
Space be boomin', the speakers pop;
Galactic comb, we missed a spot,
We bumpin' your parkin’ lot.

***

            “I’m back my friend,” hollers BL Albus Dumbledore from the air.  “I wanted to get you before the final battle commences so we can stand alongside one another.”

            The wizard lantern looks down and notices the devastated body of the green lizard splattered against the roadway.

            “Oh, Yoshi. . .” 

            Dumbledore inspects the body and uses a spell to see the replay of his companion’s death. 

***

            “That was dope!” shouts Bedtime Bear.

            “Time to roll,” says Friend Bear.

            The bears turn the radio up and start the car. They only drive a short distance before they see a lone figure in the road. . . with a submarine being levitated above him.

            “What the f#ck is that?!?” asks Friend Bear.

            “Not a squirrel!!!” answers Bedtime Bear. “It’s Joseph. . . with a f#ckin’ submarine.”

            The bears drive up beside the mutant.

            “Alright, Joseph!” shouts Friend Bear.  “Bring your a$$ to this fight!”

            Joseph smiles at the admiration of his teammates.

            “Drive ahead,” instructs Joseph.  “I will follow behind with this.”

            “Yes!!!!!” screams Wish Bear.

            The bears slowly drive about one half mile ahead of the mutant.

***

Rock that body, come on, come on,
Rock that body, rock that body;
Rock that body, come on, come on,
Rock that body.

            The bears listen to their radio and fail to notice that a desiccated husk has flown to their location.

            “Expelliarmus,” whispers BL Dumbledore.

            Joseph loses his magnetic link with the submarine.  The maritime vessel rocks and begins to fall directly on top of the pimpmobile.  The bears look up and in a rhythmic, slow motion dance begin to scream.

            “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF--” says Friend.

            “UUUUUUUUUUUUU--” says Bedtime.

            “CCCCCCCCCCCCCC--” says Wish.

            The submarine crashes on the pimpmobile leaving a gruesome wreckage of vintage automobile parts, submarine machinery and bear stuffing.         Joseph’s mouth gapes at the carnage.

      

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XVII: DELIRIOUS DOGFIGHT

            The U.S.S. Enterprise shuttle lurches across the sky as the Quinjet repeatedly knocks into the vessel.  Both Vampire Jean Grey and Professor X reject the attempts of White Suit Anakin Skywalker to crash their ship.

            Skywalker manages to gain the upper hand and juts into the shuttle, causing the craft to spin out of control.  The telekinetic skills of both Grey and Xavier save the ship from crashing into the ground below.  The shuttle skims the surface of the land while the Quinjet keeps pace directly on top of the liner.  

            Skywalker takes advantage of the congruous positions of the ships.  The Jedi punches the automatic controls of the skiff, steps to the edge of the Quinjet and falls toward the shuttle below, completing a perfect acrobatic flip before landing on top of the skiff. 

            “Jean!” exclaims Professor X.

            “On it Charles,” says Grey in immediate response.

            Grey instantaneously unlatches her safety belt and rushes to the shuttle door.  As Skywalker ignites his lightsaber and begins to cut a hole in the vessel’s top, Grey floats from the shuttle door and lands on its’ top.  The undead woman then immediately uses her telekinetic ability to throw Skywalker off the shuttle.    Miraculously, Skywalker twists and lands back on his Quinjet without missing a beat. 

            Grey follows Skywalker to the Quinjet and sets down perfectly on the ship’s deck.

            “You may still be a fantastic pilot,” smirks Grey, “but you are a fraud nonetheless; unless the suit is black, who gives a frak.”

            The two combatants tussle.  Skywalker momentarily impales Grey in the stomach with his lightsaber.  The results of this action are fruitless since she is not human.  She laughs and races toward Skywalker.  Skywalker uses the force to pinpoint the precise location necessary to turn his opponent into dust.  Grey uses her telepathy to read Skywalker’s intended move and at the last second, flips, pushing down on his shoulders while coming around and ripping off his helmet with all of her vampire-enhanced strength.

            Skywalker crumbles to the deck of the Quinjet, wheezing for breath.   

            “It’s all in the suit,” smiles Grey as she rips into Skywalker’s throat, sucking the life’s essence from his jugular.  Grey wipes the blood from her mouth, leaps and enters the shuttle bay door into the ship. 

            “Well done, Jean,” beams Professor X.

            “Thank you, Charles,” replies Grey, finding a speck of blood on her cheek and then licking it from her finger. 

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XVI: THE MYSTERIOUS MODULE

            The remaining members of the Sinister Six emerge from the teleportation circle’s cylinder of light.

            “These make it a whole lot easier to move from the different regions now that the new Watcher has placed the circles around the planet,” says Electro.

            “Agreed,” says Doctor Octopus.  “I. . .”

            Before the tentacled villain is able to finish his sentence, a Technodrome transport module crashes into the building just to the south of where the five Highness combatants are located.

             “Let’s play!” the Hobgoblin cackles as he rides his glider toward the site.  Electro, Doctor Octopus, Mysterio and Sandman race behind. 

            The five quickly reach the area of the crash.  They enter the building and notice the gigantic holes on the floors both above and below, ending with the decimated module in the basement.  After an initial inspection, the building appears to be a multi-faceted laboratory with no shuttle survivors in existence.

            “No one could have lived through this,” states Mysterio.

           “Yes, they could,” says Doctor Octopus.  “Remember this is the Universe Bowl.  Anything can happen.   Explore the area and make sure that either no one was on the vessel, or that no one survived,” orders Ock.

            Each of the Sinister members explores a different floor of the complex.  Mysterio moves through the basement; Sandman walks the first level;   Electro scopes the third; Doctor Octopus inspects the fourth and Hobgoblin flies over the top of the building. 

***

            “I sense the coming storm,” states Annihilus.  “You reach the Technodrome’s module.  I will stay.”

            John McClane jumps into the Attack Trak and drives toward the impact site.  As he reaches the location, he notices the Hobgoblin flying above the roof.  McClane rushes to the vehicle’s turret and fires at the mercenary.  A spattering of projectiles strikes the Hobgoblin’s glider.  The villain looks down and begins to throw bombs at McClane and his vehicle.  Electro surges out of the third floor in order to assist his teammate.  In unison, Electro electrocutes the vehicle while Hobgoblin barrages it with his bombs.  The Attack Trak blows up, throwing McClane across the lot.  McClane escapes the wreckage and although armed, rushes into the laboratory in an attempt to flee his enemies. 

     
            “The cowboy cop is in the building!” screams Electro. 

             “Who?” asks Sandman. 

            “What?” requests Mysterio.

            The Hobgoblin shouts through the windows, “McClane!!!”

            Mysterio begins to cautiously walk up the steps to the first floor when he suddenly notices foot prints across the stairs leading into the basement.  He turns around as he believes to hear a sound across the room toward a partially obstructed area. 

            McClane used his skills to create a false path toward the basement.  He crouches behind a table, focused on the liquid nitrogen cylinder next to Sandman on the first level.

            “Yippee Ki Yay,” hollers McClane as he repeatedly fires his gun at the liquid nitrogen.  The cylinder is methodically struck, causing bursts to strike Sandman.  The tank eventually explodes due to the outgoing pressure and Sandman becomes solidified granules.  McClane fires again at his enemy and Sandman explodes into hundreds of pieces which cannot reform due to their frozen state.

            Mysterio rushes up the stairs and sees a permanently dispersed Sandman 

            McClane looks to Mysterio and turns around, failing to escape the Hobgoblin’s pumpkin bomb.   McClane is gripped by the arms of Doctor Octopus. 

            “Time to die,” states Doc Ock.

            Electro touches a finger to McClane’s face and sends a controlled electrical charge throughout the policeman’s body, frying McClane in place. 

            “Now we are two down!” shouts Doctor Octopus.  “Where the hell were you?” he directs toward Mysterio.

            “I thought I heard something,” the illusionist answers.

            “Clean off that dome so you can hear before I rip it off!” mutters Doctor Octopus.

            Mysterio shrugs at the insult and joins his teammates, looking forward to the next battle.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XV: AGONIZING ANTICIPATION

            The Anti-Monitor, Phoenix, Hope Summers and Exodus float outside of the Playoff Planet’s metropolis section. 

            “I fail to understand why while we have been instructed to sit aside,” opens Exodus, “while our team is annihilated.”

            “One-Above-All, Dracula, Rayner,” says Phoenix, “. . . gone.”

            “Others have survived,” responds Summers.  “Yoda, Thanos, Joseph, Skywalker. . . all still formidable assets.”

            “Do not forget,” the Anti-Monitor begins before a loud explosion interrupts his speech. 

            The four look to the city and see a Technodrome transport module crash into a building.

            “It is time,” states the Anti-Monitor.

 

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XIV: REPTILE ROADKILL

            “Hit the replay b%&ch!” orders Wish Bear.  

What you gon' do with all that junk?

                                                       All that junk inside your trunk?
                                                      I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
                                                      Get you love drunk off my hump.

                                                                           ***

            “The team calls little one,” starts BL Albus Dumbledore looking down at Yoshi.  “I believe it best if I speed ahead and allow you to reach the match in your own time.”

            Yoshi squeaks in response.  BL Dumbledore scratches the lizard’s head and smiles.  The lantern then rises above the ground and soars ahead.

            Yoshi’s tail wags at his master and he begins to merrily hop along the middle of the road.

***

            The pimpmobile races along the street; its radio continues to blare.  

What you gon' do with all that a$$?
All that a$$ inside them jeans?
I'm a make, make, make, make you scream,
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

            “Hey, what the f#ck is that in the road up ahead?” asks Friend Bear.

            “It’s a motherf#ckin’ squirrel is what that is!” says Bedtime Bear.

            “A squirrel ain’t that large you dumbf#ck!” exclaims Friend. “. . . and a squirrel ain’t green!”

            “Road kill nonetheless,” states Wish Bear, slamming the gas pedal to the floor.

“Hit that f#cker!!!” screams an excited Bedtime Bear.

Yoshi is distracted and fails to notice the careening vehicle as he uses his prehensile tongue to capture a large insect.  He is unable to react in time with a flutter jump. The lizard’s body tumbles underneath the tires and is brutally shattered, leaving a blood infested skid mark along the road beneath.

            “Damn b%&ch!  That was bada$$!!!” exclaims Friend Bear.

            “Just shut the f#ck up and turn up the tunes! Autoplay b%&ches!!!” says Wish Bear.

What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon' do with all that a$$?
All that a$$ inside them jeans?
I'ma make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.

UNIVERSE BOWL VI: CHAPTER XIII: PANDEMONIUM IN THE PLAINS

            A 1989 Chevy Cavalier driven by a trio of bears speeds across the asphalt in the middle of a grassy area.  They all fail to notice that their vehicle almost struck Destroyer, who is walking across the road.  As the sight of the car fades into the distant hills, the Asgardian weapon finishes crossing the street.  

            As the construct reaches the earthy ground on the other side of the road, a projection of scorching lava blasts Destroyer’s leg.  As a result of the attack, Destroyer notices the singed and somewhat melted appendage.  He looks up at the cause and recognizes Geo-Force.  Brion Markov stands on a knoll approximately twenty yards from Destroyer; the man grins at his achievement. 

            In response to one of its legs being damaged by Geo-Force, Destroyer’s visor slowly opens and emits a disintegration beam.  Geo-Force dodges the projection and manipulates the air surrounding the giant to create a “plus gravity” atmosphere.  Destroyer cannot move without severe difficulty.

            “I have a question for you,” quips Geo-Force.  “Why did Destroyer cross the road?”

            Geo-Force is met without a response.

            “To be demolished on the other side!”

            Geo Force unleashes a barrage of lava blasts which melt the weapon.  The founding hero of the Outsiders turns around since his task is accomplished.   He suddenly lurches and gasps.  Geo-Force’s head lulls down only to find his body being impaled by a glistening sword handled by the Witch King of Angmar.  The Black Captain twists the sword around, disemboweling Markov. 

            A fierce, triumphant screech is emitted from the Lord of the Nazgul as a dead Geo-Force falls upon his own intestines.