TEAM Takes over The Playoff Planet, co-starring Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions, Affirmative Action Popeye's, and Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.

TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, loaded with the Power, Soul, Space, and Reality Stones), Darksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitzwing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Rewind, Eject, Grandslam, Raindance, NIghtstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, Optimus Prime, Dave Parks Prime:  A Touch of Grey, Old Man Parks (Grizzled Vietnam Veteran), Wolverine, Non, & Black Lantern Sinestro.

Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisons are Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Invincible, & Allen the Alien, The Protectobots:  Hot Spot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, & First Aid, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom & Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Piplup, Eevee, & Detective Pikachu, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwetz, Claude Coleman Jr., Glen McCellend, & Boognish in The Poop Mobile, Venom (Flash Thompson), Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi w/ his Dog, Flash (Wally West), Resplendent Man, Ludwig Von Koopa (w/ The White Lantern Ring) on Kid-Nee's Mo-Ped, Al Capone (w/ a Power Ring), The Batman who Laughs (w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring), Nick Fury (w/ a Red Lantern Ring), The Spectre, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Lady Q, Colonel Q, Lady Dimetrescu, Kilawog, and Jimmy (Jedi Padawan #1 (in a Penguin Suit)).

Affirmative Action Popeye's is Destro, Beechhead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Shipwereck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, Ethan's Juggernaut Tank, Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Sailor Moon, The Hart Foundation:  Bret "The Hitman" Hart & Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, Capt. Jonathon Powers, Nash Bridges, Tatsu, Bebop & Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Mike and Laura Sroka, Bryan Beckerman, Fred Baker, Bruno Samartino, Weird Al Yankovich, ET, Timmell, The Tazmanian Devil, Mary Embery, Sentinel #7, The Centurions:  Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, & Rex Charger, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Red Hulk, Red She Hulk, Nolan & Austin:  Sith Bros. in a pair of F-18s, & Voldemort.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Sasuke Uchiha, Grimlock, Slag, Weapon H, Starkiller, Darth Nihilus, Naruto, The Predacons:  Razor Claw, Divebomb, Head Strong, Rampage, & Tantrum, Anakin Skywalker, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, Daenyrius Targaryen & his Dragon, Thunderstrike, Cosmic Spider-Man, Darth Sion, Cad Bane, George the Albino Gorilla, Lizzy, & The Wolf, Vampire Neo, Colonel Stark, Jet Jaguar, & Ultra Man.

TEAM broke the rules.  They didn't do what they were told.  They have angered Joshatu the All-Knowing and Wise.  And they didn't even wear masks or social distance while they were doing it.  You see, TEAM did not return to their base last week after their decisive space victory over Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids.  Instead, they called for reinforcements, learned their own level of regeneration, and made their way to the Play-Off Planet on their own.  They began taking over the planet and fortifying their positions before the matches even began making a mockery of the well-ordered Fantasy Fantasy League Process.  As stated:  I:  Joshatu the Astounding and Virtuous am not happy.  

As the other three squads arrive at the already dominated Play-Off Planet, they quickly find places to take cover and do what they can to develop plans of attack in hopes that the seemingly unbeatable TEAM can be destroyed.  

Since their arrival on The Play-Off Planet, TEAM has continued breaking league rules.  Hell bent on absolute domination, some of the most powerful TEAMmembers have begun combining with one another to create power combinations that threaten even Joshatu:  The Cunning and Masterful myself.  The first combining came with the birth of Thanicron.  Using the Soul and Reality stones, Thanos has merged his consciousness with that of the massive size planet Unicron who now wears a continent sized glove on his hand containing the stones.  With their cosmic powers combined they create a truly menacing foe.  Primus, who holds an uneasy alliance with his brother is not comfortable with the exponentially increased Unicron, now Thanicron; so he develops an alliance of his own.  As the god of The Autobots and true originator of the Autobot Matrix of Leadership, Primus works to reestablish the power of Prime.  But the Autobot leader is not quite enough to do that fully.  Only with the equivalent earth power of Prime can it be done; which is why Dave Parks Prime, who has already absorbed the military experience, strength, and the pure blue collar ruggedness of Vietnam Veteran Old Man Parks is called upon to form the being both massive in size and power of Optimal Dave Primus.  With the Dark Lord Darksol controlling the surface and Thanicron and Optimal Dave Primus defending both sides of The Play-Off Planet from above, ever looming and moving closer and closer to the surface, TEAM has the entire planet on a lockdown that would make even Big Gretch Whitmer proud.  While the Popeye's and Barkley's squads have met up in a small heavily forested area invisible from space to attempt a team-up against TEAM, The Sith Aids having seen TEAM's power first hand last week have pledged their allegiance to TEAM and have vowed to fight alongside them if anyone should dare contest their dominance.  

With such an enormous and important event about to take place, I must warn you the witnesses that this epic confrontation could take weeks by my standards and a minimum of twenty pages for you.  Even I Joshatu the Stamina-laden and Powerful must take rest before the match begins.  This match shall resume after I take my cosmic sleep for which I have grown so deserving of.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________=====================================================================================

Hey Everybody, it's me The Neon Master Pogo here to finish flushing this turd before Joshatu the Stuffy and Arrogant wakes up from his PMS Headache.

Let's do this.

Now, I assure you, everything Joshatu the Boring and Boring said was true, but we don't need to drag this out forever to lay out some action. I mean, let's face it; I'm not exactly Hemingway and you dorks aren't exactly the people who read Hemingway.      

The Protectabots merge to form Defensor and the Constructicons merge to form Devastator.  The battle ends quick because well....  Devastator is way better.  I mean I assume you guys have seen the show??  Oh.  You guys are too young.  Well, just say "Okay Boomer" and take my word for it.

Captain Jonathon Powers and Nick Fury order a full out counter offensive from the infantry with GI Joes taking the lead.  The GI Joes, despite taking out The Rampage Wolf with Ethan's Juggernaut Tank do what American Infantry Men do best.  They rush into certain doom, catch bullets meant for men deemed more important than they are, and die for someone else's cause.  Same goes for their Cobra counterparts, except for Nemesis Enforcer who manages to rip through Cad Bane, Colonel Stark, and the Autobot Cassette Graphy before getting eaten by George the Albino Gorilla (shout out to my boy Brian Colin for creating George and Rampage, one of the greatest video games of all time (and for being an all around cool guy)).  

Weapon H rocks Bebop, then bops Rocksteady.

Darth Sion stocks Baxter....  Naw, that just didn't work as well as the last time.  Either way, Baxter is dead and Sion did it.  

Sasuke Uchiha starts complaining that he is on his last death in the Fantasy Fantasy League and has NEVER GOTTEN THE LOVE HE DESERVES with the mad skills and power he has; because too many of these DAMN WATCHERS don't know anything about Anime and have no respect.  But I couldn't hear the rest of his rant because he got hit by a Ford Escort pulling out of the carwash.  

Ace McLeod takes to the air and leads the Centurions against the two remaining Rampage giants.  They use their superior firepower to take out George and Lizzy.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better story than most giant monster movies try to give you.  

The Centurions are about to be avenged by Cosmic Spider-Man and Grimlock when TEAM remembers that The Centurions used to be on their TEAM way back in the day when they one the First Universe Bowl.  TEAM is a jealous TEAM.....  Original TEAMmates Leader One, Astro-Train and, Blitz-Wing blow them off the map instead.  

Lady Q and Colonel Q attempt to tap into the cosmic amalgated brains of Thanicron  and Optimal Dave Primus but fall short despite their greatest attempts.  Despite their failure, they use the last of their power to take Black Lantern Sinestro, Darth Sion, Naruto, and even the mighty TEAM ground commander Darksol with them as they perish.  No complaining readers, those two sentences were a better Q story than most Fantasy Fantasy Watchers try to give you.  

White Lantern Ludwig Von Koopa has next to no idea how to work the White Lantern Ring he has been given; but to make matters worse has no idea how to drive a Mo-Ped either.  He still brings in a Net-Positive on point usage when he crashes into Ultra Man killing both of them tho....

Rarely do Red Lantern Rings choose their hosts based on last name nomenclature, but Nick Fury was a legit exception.  He kept smacking the Mutha-$%^^&*%er trying to get it to work as Six Shot crushed him whilst simultaneously blasting Dhalsim, Jimmy the Penguin Padawan, The Tazmanian Devil, Tatsu, and Sailor Moon.  The massive double-triple changing Decepticon is then ripped apart by a pure blast of Yellow Energy from The Batman Who Laughs.  The Batman Who Laughs keeps his wicked sense of humor pumping as he pines over the good old days when he used to be able to use fun things like knives on his victims; but he can't help but acknowledge the necessity and ease in which this new yellow ring makes his job go so much smoother.  Blaster doesn't think he will have much issue with the creepy looking Batman once he starts ejecting his Autobot Cassettes at him; but The Batman Who Laughs has no problem taking out Blaster himself, Nightstalker, Raindance, and Playback with Piglett, Rabbit, Eeore, and Bryan Beckerman falling as collateral damage in a bloody, and not so pitched battle (shout out Becks on final death) with the former FFL Commish.  The Batman who Laughs is having the time of his life until he turns to see some short dude stabbing some adamantium claws into his neck asking the question:  "What's so funny Bub"?  

Nolan and Austin:  Sith Bros. are more than capable of flying their F-18s on a normal day with their extensive Sith training; but after they hooked up with Ol' Freddy Baker and thought they could handle some of that Bubonic Chronic he peddles they were introduced to the true nature of the Dark Side and couldn't fly a paper air plane.  At least they crashed the jets into Daenyrius Targaryen and his Dragon in an accidental kamikaze mission.  Not sure if that could have killed that dude or not to be honest, but if y'all Game of Thrones fans wanted me to go back and watch that show than you shouldn't of cried about the last season so hard all over the interwebs.  

Omni Man, Battle Beast, Thrag, Allen the Alien, & Invincible bring Sentinel #7 and Weird Al for the LULZ with them on their valiant attack on Thanicron, while Resplendent Man and Flash let Power Man and Iron Fist tag along on their mission against Optimal Dave Primus.  This would have been epic had Joshatu kept Watching; but dis be me Pogo reporting in saying that the little guys lost to the big huge cosmic robots.    

Anakin Skywalker and Pre-Suit Vader (yes, pretty much two of the same dude) ignite their lightsabers and mow through Detective Spooner, Sonny, Slimer, Capt. Power, & the always wily and jaunty Nash Bridges.  Red She Hulk says:  "I'll handle this".

Tigger asks:  "How"??

"She'll have help" says Jessica Jones as she, Mary Embery, Laura Sroka, Sonja Blade, and Lady Dimetrescu form up in a super woke moment to take down the patriarchy just like the chicks did in Avengers:  End Game.  They then see the two extra white, privileged, men standing there and they all died from the sight of the toxic masculinity.  It was beyond evil in its scope.  Nothing a Sith Lord or Mad Titan has ever done previously can be compared to the sheer evil of being a white Male.  if it were any more racist and Sexist it would have had to happen in Georgia.  I'm disgusted.  That's it.  We are moving the FFL All Star Game.  

I was eating a Milky Way when Vampire Neo flew in fast towards Voldemort and I must have missed how they both died.  

Black Lantern Polaris helps out two of the greatest tag teams of all time in Timmell and Mike Sroka and The Hart Foundation while she holds Slag still with her magnetic powers allowing them to dismantle him.  Grimlock then steps on all four of the warriors to avenge his Dinobot buddy.  

Bruno Samartino is a legend who bops hard but not hard enough to hang with Cosmic Spider-Man.  

Tigger kills Star Killer just to make all the Gamer kids cry and then gets stepped on by Jet Jaguar.   

Non and Devastator crush the skulls of Donkey Kong, Kano, and Jax but The Boognish and his new, less-powerful sidekick: The Spectre cosmic fart on Non and then eat Devastator whole, causing them to urinate out energon-laced-urea on Leader One, Grandslam, Noise, and Blackout.  The power duo then gets uppity and tries to fly into space and do the same to Optimal Dave Primus who one ups their heavy machinery golden shower attempt and straight up misses with a cosmic Cleveland Steamer that ends up sending an Autobot collective power dump down their throats.  

The Gener and the Deaner rolling shotgun in the Poop Mobile with Claude, Dave, & Glenn smushed into the back are none too happy to see the death of their music inspiring Demon-god which is why they hit the gas and move in fast towards Black Lantern Polaris.  She tries to stop them as she would with any other automobile moving towards her; but they keep coming.  This of course is not because of their cosmic or musical powers but the simple fact that the car is made not of metal, but completely made of fecal matter which as we all know has no magnetic properties.  They crash into the Black Lantern Mutant and die when they hit her evil Oan Energy field; but the vehicle and the impact affect the daughter of Magneto greatly as the two vile plasmas morph together and turn her into Brown Lantern Polaris.  

Blanka joins Princess Laya and Scarlet in throwing shade at Thunderstrike claiming that Detective Pikachu and Blanka could totally out lightning him.  It doesn't help that Laya and Scarlet are telling Thunderstrike that he is not nearly as cute as the guy who plays the real Thor in the MCU (and he isn't even as cute as his brother in Hunger Games).  Eevee and Piplup are laughing hysterically at the sick burns while drinking some white claws and talking about low carb lifestyles and what they can do for abs that are underwhelming at best.  They start to go nuts with the lightning battle that it sure looks like Thunderstrike is going to win when the lightning hits Astro-Train and Blitz-Wing causing them to crash onto the scene wiping out everyone involved.  

Al Capone wraps up his humanitarian effort to set up the first Play-Off Planet Soup Kitchen and uses his Power Ring to put a Boost spell on Blanka, Shinobi, and his Dog.  They use the added strength and attack points to take out Stripes, Dile, & Zaur; but once Wolverine joins the fight to aid Rewind, Eject, Rosanna, and the other tapes the trio are defeated.  Wolverine is then met by a truly pitched battle as Al backs up Venom; but Logan is still just too good at what he does to be defeated.

Good Ol' Freddy Baker and E.T. the Extra Terrestrial may be higher than every unsuspecting fetus at Woodstock; but that doesn't stop them from joining the last stand led by Kilawog and The Red Hulk.  Fighting prowess mixed with raw power helps this fearsome foursome mow through the likes of Pre-Suit Vader, Darth Nihilus, and even the fully expanded Jet Jaguar before they plot their attack on Thanicron himself.....

Kilawog puts the Four Horsemen of the Transformer apocalypse (as they just started calling themselves) in a green aura to protect them as ET starts the process of flying them directly into the eye of Thanicron to deliver the killing blow.  

"Let's do this" screams Rulk and Kilawog in unison.

As they speed towards the massive space robot ET and Fred hit that funny cigarette one more time before Baker yells:  "YOU MADE YOUR "FRED" NOW SLEEP IN IT SUCKAH"

And....................................

FFL 2021 Week 5: Universe Bowl Rematch

 *-4 Denotes 4 deaths*

Little People: Yoda w/ White Lantern Ring and Dwarf Ring #5, Vampire Darth Maul w/ Orange Lantern Ring and Darksaber, X-23 & Gabby Kinney, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Lando Clarissean, Nien Nunb, Lobot, &Fa-4 in Bico’s Y-1300 Light Freighter, Mandalore the Great w/ Dark Saber, Tyrion Lannister w/ Dwarf Ring, Omega Supreme (-4), Black Lantern Vampire, Zombie Vampire, ALf in Josh’s A-Wing, The Stunticons, Jared Nomak, Luminara Unduli w/ Green Lantern Ring (-4), Batgirl w/ 2 White Lightsabers, Black Dragon #1, Vorian Atreides in X-Wing (-4), Zach and Spence in Wedge’s Snow Speeder, The Huntress w/ a double red lightsaber in an Arwing (-4), Captain Britain, Rachel Summers: Phoenix, Shadowcat w/ Lockheed and Widget, Meggan, Vampire Predator (-4), Predator #1A (-4), Wonder Man, The Mandalorian (-4), Grogu w/ Blue Lantern Ring in a TIE Bomber, Harambe w/ Blue Lantern Ring (-4), Depa Billaba in B-Wing, Chip N’ Dale Rescue Rangers both w/ Indigo Lantern Rings, John Rambo, Sunfire, Alia Atreides w/ a Star Sapphire Ring, Vampire Batman (-4), Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad, Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, James Madison, AIr Bender #1-3, Earth Bender #1-3 in a Star Destroyer

Dinomites: Avatar Aang w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, The Flash w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Jay Garrick Flash w/ Green Lantern Ring, Captain America w/ Green and Blue Lantern Ring (-4), Falcon and Red Wing, Nazgul #8 w/ The Melt Stick on his Fell Beast, The Fantastic Four: Mr. Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, and The Thing, Nightwing on his motorcycle w/ Green Lightsaber, Link w/ Master Sword, Hylian Shield and Green Lantern Ring, Cyborg Superman w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, Ice w/ Star Sapphire Ring (-4), Steel Superman, The Black Racer, Mas, Menos, Vampire Larfleeze (-4), Jango Fett, Avatar Alex w/ Wii Mote, Velociraptor Riding Grayson, Big Barda, Cassian and K-2SO in Cassian’s U-Wing (-4), Kal Cestis in X-Wing, 10 Evil Dwarves one (-4), Giant Man, Booster Gold, Dark Dragon, Ant-Man, Wasp, 4 Rebel Troopers in an A.A.T.

Forest:

Little People: X-23, Gabbie Kinney, Luminara Unduli, The Huntress, Vampire Predator, Predator #1A, Harambe, and John Rambo

Dinomites: Jay Garrick Flash, Link, Mas and Menos, Avatar Alex and Grayson, 10 Evil Dwarves, and 4 Rebel Troopers in A.A.T.

We start off the Universe Bowl Rematch in the Forest. 

Mas and Menos begin the battle by speeding way ahead of the rest of the Dinomites into the forest. Little did they know, they were speeding onto a great ape’s territory. All of a sudden Mas trips over a tree root, but it was no normal tree root, it looked like a normal root but was giving off a luminescent blue hue to it. Menos then backtracks to help his fallen brother but then they are both crushed by a large stone, that also had a luminescent blue hue to it. 

Jay Garrick catches up to the two speedsters but only sees a flattened pile of flesh with red blood splattered all over the place. While Jay Garrick is investigating the scene, Avatar Alex and Grayson wander off into the forest where they eventually run into Harambe. They were surprised to see him. Alex exclaims “It cannot be...You fell”. Harambe responds “darkness took me and I strayed out of thought and time, stars wield over head and everyday was as long as a life age of the earth, but it was not the end, I felt life in me again. I’ve been sent back until my task of saving the Little People’s unsatisfactory start to the season is done.”  Harambe says to the two youngsters “This is no place for two little one’s like you. Leave now and save yourselves.” Surprisingly Alex actually listens to advice for once and convinces Grayson to leave the battlefield with him. The little one’s should feel lucky that Harambe had spared them because he’s about to cause some absolute carnage.

The rest of the Dinomites catch up to Jay Garrick and just as they see the remains of Mas and Menos they are attacked from all angles, Guerilla warfare style, by the Little People. X-23, Gabby Kinney and the Huntress show great teamwork to all 10 Dwarves. Link uses his shield to block machine gun shots from Rambo and then uses his Green Lantern Ring to make a bow and arrow and shoots Rambo right between the eyes. Then he goes to shoot Luminara but she is too keen with her Lantern Ring and uses it to block the arrow shot. The Predators then work together to take out the A.A.T. 

Jay Garrick uses his super speed to get behind the predators and kills them both with energy blasts from his lantern ring. All of a sudden a loud crack is heard and then a large tree falls on top of the A.A.T. thus incapacitating it. The 4 Rebel Troopers get out and start shooting at X-23, Gabby Kinney, and the Huntress. They do a good job of dodging the laser blasts but eventually they were just too much for the Huntress as she was overwhelmed and died from the laser blasts. Harambe then jumps out of the trees and grabs one of the troopers and uses the trooper as a club to take out the other troopers. 

X-23 and Gabby Kinney stand there in shock as they’ve just Harambe brutally kill these troopers. While standing there Link hits Gabby Kinney with an energy blast and kills Gabby. X-23 follows in her father’s footsteps and goes into a primal rage and attacks Link. Link tries to defend himself with his ring by hitting X-23 with an arrow from his green lantern made bow and arrow but X-23 just rips the arrow out of her shoulder. She pushes forward and jumps on top of Link, rips his shield away from him and cuts his head clean off his head. Jay Garrick then runs to her and vaporizes her with a Green Lantern Blast.

All that’s left of the Dinomites is Jay Garrick. Harambe yells to the rest of the Little People “Fly you Fools!”

Harambe and Jay Garrick have a long and heroic battle where eventually they both succumb to death. 

Space:

Little People: Lando, Nien Nunb, Lobot, and FA-4 in a Y-1300 Light Freighter, ALf in Josh’s A-Wing, Vorian Atreides in X-Wing, Zach and Spence in Snow Speeder, Star Wolf in Arwing, Mando and Grogu in TIE Bomber, Depa Billaba in B-Wing, Peppy Hare, Slippy Toad, Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, James Madison, Air Bender #1-3, and Earth Bender #1-3 in Star Destroyer.

Dinomites: Cyborg Superman, Cassian and K-2SO in U-Wing, Kal Cestis in X-Wing, and Booster Gold.

The two teams spawn into space and immediately Zach and Spence’s Snow Speeder starts to stall out as neither of them know how to fly. Kal Cestis sees the Speeder floating out in space and hits it with a blast from his X-Wing and destroys it. 

The Little People’s Star Destroyer starts taking shots at the Dinomites. They hit Kal Cestis in his X-Wing and kill him.Cyborg Superman and Booster Gold team up to take on the Star Destroyer. Booster Gold is hitting the large ship with multiple blasts from his gauntlets while Cyborg Superman uses his Heat Vision to make a weakness in the ship. He then flies with all of his might into the ship and significantly weakens it. The light Freighter and Mando team up and hit Booster Gold with some blasts from their ships but all they really do is minor damage to him. Booster Gold turns around and hits the Light Freighter with blasts from his gauntlets and destroys the ship.

Star Wolf then attacks Cassian and K-2SO, they try their hardest to dodge blasts from Star Wolf, but eventually it was just too much as Star Wolf was just too quick for them. 

Varion talks to Star Wolf, Depa Billaba, and Mando over the coms and says that the only way they’ll be able to do any damage to Booster Gold is if they crash into him. So they work together with the Star Destroyer and all at the same time they crash into Booster Gold while the Star Destroyer hits Booster Gold with every cannon it’s got. This kills Booster Gold but also kills Star Wolf, Depa Billiba, Mando & Grogu  and Varion Atreides. 

Cyborg Superman then uses his Heat Vision and Yellow Lantern Ring to weaken another section of the Star Destroyer and then flies through it with all his will. This destroys the Star Destroyer.

Alf  is the only Little People member left and let’s be real, he doesn’t stand a chance against Cyborg Superman. Cyborg Superman kills Alf.

The City:

Little People: Yoda, Vampire Darth Maul, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Mandalore the Great, Tyrion Lannister, Omega Supreme, Black Lantern Vampire, Zombie Vampire, The Stunticons (in Menasor form), Jared Nomak, Luminara Unduli, Batgirl, Black Dragon #1, Captain Britain, Rachel Summers Phoenix, Shadowcat w/ Lockheed and Widget, Meggan, Wonder Man, Chip N’ Dale Rescue Rangers, Sunfire, Alia Atreides, Vampire Batman.

Dinomites: Avatar Aang, Flash, Falcon w/ Red Wing, Nazgul #8 on Fell Beast, The Fantastic Four, Nightwing, Cyborg Superman, Ice, Steel Superman, Black Racer,Vampire Larfleeze, Jango Fett, Big Barda, Giant Man, Dark Dragon, Ant-Man, and Wasp.

We start off this section of the battle with Menasor and Omega Supreme teaming up to cause havoc. They start off by attacking some of the weaker members of the Dinomites. Omega Supreme steps on Wasp and then steps on vampire Larfleeze who tries to protect himself with his lantern ring but he was already so weak being a vampire in broad daylight.

Ant-Man and Giant Man retaliate, Giant Man greatly increases his size and attacks Omega Supreme while he has the Dark Dragon, Jango Fett, and Nazgul #8 distract Menasor. Ant-Man shrinks his size and gets inside of Omega Supreme and just starts destroying all of his wires and insides to the point where Omega Supreme can’t use any of the right side of his body. He tries to defend himself with his left side but eventually Giant Man hits Omega Supreme with a mean combo of a left jab, right hook, and finally a left hook. This knocks Omega Supreme on his ass and then Ice begins to freeze Omega Supreme while Ant Man then gets out of Omega Supreme and then becomes huge like Giant Man. The two size changers then beat Omega Supreme until his ultimate failure.

Menasor, angered that his big robot friend had died, stabs Giant Man through the back killing him. He then slaps Jango Fett into a skyscraper, killing him, then grabs the Dark Dragon and rips the beast in half. The Nazgul then starts to use the melt stick on one of his arms but it does not melt quick enough as Menasor grabs the Nazgul and his Fell Beast and throws him into the ground and pulverizes him with just sheer force from the throw. Then he goes to slash at Ant-Man with his sword, but Ant-Man changes back to normal size dodging the sword but then realizes he’s about to be stepped on by the giant robot he cowers in fear. All of a sudden he hears a large explosion and isn’t stepped on. He looks up and sees that Cyborg Superman had just flown into space with all his might and had flown right through Menasor, destroying the giant robot. 

Nightwing then rides into the city with Steel Superman and Big Barda flying in behind him. Nightwing is tackled by a leaping Jared Nomak which knocks him off his motorcycle. They then both fight each other, showing an impressive display of hand to hand combat before eventually Nightwing gets the upper hand by stabbing Jared Nomak in his heart with his Green Lightsaber.

Luminara then attacks Nightwing and at first Nightwing is able to hold his own but just isn’t able to keep up with Luminara’s lightsaber abilities, plus she has a green lantern ring, she eventually beats Nightwing.

Avatar Aang shows up to the battle and sees Shadowcat with Lockheed and Widget. He sees that she is running through the walls of the skyscrapers. He waits and watches her run until he comes up with an idea. He sees that she’s running through a building so he uses his fire bending abilities to blaze the whole other side of the skyscraper. She runs through and is immediately burnt by the fire as she is being burned. Aang then hits her with more fire and kills her along with Lockheed and widget.

Steel Superman and Big Barda work together and go on a killing spree. They take out Black Lantern Vampire, Zombie Vampire, Alia Atreides, Tyrion Lannister, Nightsister Acolyte, and the Chip N’ Dale Rescue Rangers. Captain Britain and Meggan then try to get revenge on the two. At first Captain Britain and Meggan are dominating the two. They show good teamwork and kill Big Barda. They were about to do the same to Steel Superman but the Flash came to the rescue and uses his Green Lantern Ring to make a blade and then cuts out the achilles tendons of both Meggan and Captain Britain. They both stand there, unable to move as the Flash hits Meggan with a giant swing of a Green lantern made hammer while Steel Superman flies behind Captain Britain and snaps his neck.     

Luminara, Yoda and Batgirl team up to take on Ice, Steel Superman, and the Flash. Yoda uses his White Lantern Ring and immediately hits Ice with a blast, but Ice makes a wall to block himself. After all the smoke had disappeared from the blown up Ice wall there was a leaping 

Yoda that had jumped through the smoke and stabbed Ice in his chest with his lightsaber. Steel Superman takes on Yoda while the Flash takes on Luminara. They have a long battle until all of a sudden a piece of I-beam is stabbed through the back of Luminara. Yoda looks and sees that Rachel Summers had done it. Black Racer has used his power of possession to take over Rachel Summer’s will. Yoda realizes this and hits Rachel with a large energy blast from his White Lantern Ring killing her. This also kills Black Racer though. Yoda then turns around and  hits the Flash with the same type of blasts as he was still astonished as to what just happened.

Update. The Little People have Yoda, Vampire Darth Maul, Asajj Ventress, Mandalore the Great, Batgirl and Black Dragon #1, Wonder Man, Sunfire, and Vampire Batman left. Dinomites have Avatar Aang, Falcon, The Fantastic Four, Cyborg Superman, Steel Superman and Ant-Man left.

Human torch and Falcon go into a dogfight with the Black Dragon. Human torch has no trouble out maneuvering the Dragon but Falcon struggles and is eventually hit with the Dragon’s fire breath killing both him and Red Wing. Eventually Human Torch gets the dragon to crash into a crane where the dragon then falls to its death.

Mandalore the Great then goes to attack Ant-Man, Ant-Man shrinks to a ridiculously small size, but Mandalore’s skills with a blade are superior as he is able to cut the microsized man in half with his blade. 

Human torch then attacks Darth Maul with a continuous stream of fire, at first Maul is able to protect himself with his lantern ring but is eventually too weak as he is in his vampire form. He succumbs to the flames. 

The Fantastic Four then team up to take on Vampire Batman. He holds his own for a moment but then is just overwhelmed with the team and is defeated by a deadly combo from the team.

Human Torch sees Sunfire and goes to challenge him to a who is a more powerful pyro battle. Human Torch hits Sunfire with his flames but they do nothing to Yoshida and eventually he uses his superior fighting skills to kill Human torch. This angers The Thing so much that he uses his superhuman strength to knock over a skyscraper on sunfire which kills him.

Batgirl and Mandalore the Great team up to take on the remaining members of the Fantastic Four. Mandalore uses his darksaber to cut Mr. Fantastic in half and then Batgirl stabs Invisible Woman in half. The Thing then throws a car at Batgirl and kills her. Cyborg Superman then flies in from nowhere and hits Mandalore with a blast from his Yellow Lantern Ring.

Yoda, Asajj and Wonder Man are all that’s left of the Little People and team up to defend themselves. The Thing comes rushing into to attack the group but Wonder Man uses his superior strength to snap the neck of The Thing. Then Steel Superman goes and hits Wonder Man with his sledgehammer which meakens Wonder Man. Asajj then attempts to hit Steel Superman with a force push but it does nothing, Steel Superman then punches Asajj straight in the chest which ruptures her diaphragm and kills her. Yoda then uses his lightsaber to cut Steel Superman in half. Cyborg Superman then uses his Yellow Lantern Ring and combines an energy blast from that with his heat vision and kills Wonder Man. Yoda then uses his White Lantern ring to kill Cyborg Superman by hitting him with a huge energy blast.

Aang notices that he’s the last one of the Dinomites left and goes into the avatar state. He uses a combination of all four of the elements to attack Yoda. At first Yoda is able to at least kind of defend himself but eventually it was too much as he was  defeated by Aang.    

Playoff Planet Consortium Match : Ashokas Acrobatic Assassins vs The Super Kitties

Ashokas Acrobatic Assassins: Grand Master Luke Skywalker (last life) , Legends Leia Organa-Solo (last life), The Moniter w/ White Lantern Ring, Blue Marvel, Hyperion, Tornedron, Vampire Poseidon, Black Lantern Dr Manhattan, Sentry, The Ancient One, Father of Mortis, Son of Mortis (last life), The Doom Patrol: Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robot Man, Negative Man, Young Beast Boy (beast boy when he’s in the doom patrol) (whole doom patrol on there last life), Quicksilver, Lady Deadpool, Kid Deadpool, Dogpool, Headpool, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, and Stan Lee ( never forget RIP RIP RIP) .

Super Kitties: Black Flash, Blink, Green Goblin, Jesse Quick, HR, Impulse, Joe West, Vibe, and Iris West, Dracula, Mystique, Tybalt w/ Vibranium Suit, John Constantine, Green Arrow and Black Cabary, Jinx ( GI Joe not DC) , Talia Al Ghul, Samus, Scarecrow, Firestorm, Hawkeye, Mr. Freeze, Finich O’ Dare w/ Trident, Argent, All of the following in the Rampion: Cinder, Cress w/ Indigo Lantern Ring, Scarlet, Wolf, Thorn, Iko, Levana, and Dr Earland - End of people in the rampion, The Mummy, Professor Minerva Mognonagle w/ Starman ( the star item from mario), Fred and George Weasly, Neville LongBottom, Sub-Zero, Queen Alien, Captain Cold, Katniss Everdeen in Mandolorian Armour, Baby Ewok #10, and Polaris.

Week 5 Democracy Playoff Planet Match : The Striders of Rohan vs George Washingtons House Elves

House Elves : Superman (Final Life), BlackBolt, Gandalf the Grey (w/Elven ring), Thor, Set (Final Life), Colosus (Final Life), Sandworm #1-5, Black Lantern Sandworm (Final Life), Seaworm #1A (Final Life), Black Lantern Seaworm (Final Life), Vampire Seaworm (Final Life), Mar-Vel, Archangel, T-1000, Orion, Dumbledore, Corbin Dallas, Santa (with Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen), Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Haggred, Arsenal, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), White Walker #1-5, Dothraki #2-6 Riding on Dothraki Horses #2-6, Mako, Waterbender #1-3, Airbender #4 .

Striders : Odin, The Injustice League: Ultraman, Superwoman, Johnny Quick, Power Ring, Owlman, and Talon, Abeloth, Ragnarock, Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, King Kong, Zombie King Kong, Zombie Balrog of Moria, Zombie Wolverine, Zombie X-23, Gandalf The White w/ a White Lantern Ring (final death), Gothmog the Balrog, Ancalgon the Black, Earth 2 Catwoman, Batwing w/ Power Ring, Rage w/ Red Lantern Ring, Azula w/ Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ Red Lantern Ring, Brother Blood, Mandolorain #1-5, and Dark Trooper #1-4. 

TEAM Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids

 TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, Power Stone, Soul Stone, Space Stone, and Reality Stone), Daksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitz-Wing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, & Cybertronian Guardian #3.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced X 1, Darth Revan in John's TIE Interceptor, Darth Bane in a TIE Bomber, Red Son Superman, White Suit Anakin Skywalker in Spence's TIE Interceptor, Vampire Neo, 4-Lom & Zuckuss piloting the CEC YT 2400 Freighter w/ Savage Oppress, Feral, Suki, & Jedi Youngling #6-12 aboard, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Hancock, Weapon H, The Rancor, & The Darth Vader Transformer.  

For some time now the small band of Sith Aids members have hold up on their small asteroid space station as two massive, larger than planets, world destroying robots and their brutal companions approach.  Many ideas have been kicked around, many names have been assigned to the phenomenon; but the one that seems to be most common is one of the most simple.  Impending doom.  Rather than wait for the worst to fall upon them, Lord Vader decides that the only hope of the Sith Aids is to mount a counter offensive.  The attack, to be led by Vader himself, along with several other versions of him and other heavy hitters will be a longshot; but Vader speaks to his troops instilling in them all that "the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force".

Lord Vader feels the Force flow through him as he chooses his words wisely, knowing exactly what to say to invoke the emotion of all the different versions of himself as well as his fellow Sith Lords, and other teammates that still serve the Light.  Vader may no longer be a good guy, but he has not totally forgotten what it was like to be one.  His speech relays a sense of duty, honor, and above all necessary fear in the hearts and minds of his Sith Aids Cohorts before they board their ships and take flight towards the incoming danger.  

TEAM stands at the ready, floating in space and awaiting an attack that they see on the horizon.  Darksol is perched as a lookout, on a small pile of space debris to let his TEAMmates know when the battle shall begin.  He serves his purpose in death as The Sith Aids draw first blood.  Before the ships have even arrived in their flight formation Red Son Superman and Hancock rip through the Shining Force villain, leaving him in pieces.  

Facts about space

 

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins:

Tornedron, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, The Monitor w/ White Lantern Ring, Zombie Dr. Manhattan, 12 Guardian Knights as Dragonstorm, Dormamu, Blue Marvel, Ronan the Accuser, Hyperion, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Kyle’s Jedi Starfighter and Zach Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Zach’s Jedi Starfighter, Joe Levine Jedi Master, Kelly Nightsister, and Abby Jedi Youngling in Levine Family YT-2400, Uruk Hai #6-9.

 

George Washington's House Elves:

Set, Sinestro, BlackBolt, Galvatron, Ben Kenobi (In an X-wing), Mar-Vel, Archangel, Agent Smith, Orion, Shao Kahn (In Ben Kenobi’s x-wing), Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Bulk, Skull, Shaak Ti, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Sky

 

Space, as everyone knows is mostly empty. Sure, there are plenty of planets and stars but they are surrounded by emptiness. Really, you can go on forever and not hit anything. Another thing that is true about space is that women fly around in it as well as they drive on earth. So it should come as no surprise that Shaak Ti, the Levine Family YT-2400 piloted by Kelly, Batgirl, and Sky all fly straight into a star.

 

Another fact about space is that it is racist (like everyone else at this point). For that reason, Space immediately kills Black Lantern Omega Supreme and BlackBolt purely because it hates their names.

 

The Power Rangers and LOTR were filmed on earth and none of those actors can breathe in space so they meet the same fate as George Floyd (they found out they had to go to space so they overdosed on fentanyl before the match).

 

It’s pronounced Zor-DON. He died too.

 

The 1986 documentary “Transformers: The Movie” taught me that space is ruled by robots, which is why Galvatron was so easily able to kill Blue Marvel, Ronin the Accuser, and Hyperion. It had a sort of sequel in 2017 called “Transformers: The Last Knight” but I haven’t seen it and those robots probably aren’t as cool (and definitely now dead).

 

On earth a zombie doctor would be a contradiction but not so in space. Zombie Dr. Manhattan has a flourishing medical practice.

 

Wonderment in space is possible. When Jedis Kyle and Zack see Liono’s ripped muscles and beautiful mane floating towards them they pause to admire him, until the ginger runs the sword of omens through them.

 

The 2^nd law of thermodynamics applies in space as well. Tornedron sucks all of the energy out of several House Elves. He is finally stopped when Agent Smith drinks him like an energy drink. It moves through him fast though and when Agent Smith voids his bladder he does so on Dormamu extinguishing him.

 

It is possible to get tired in space. Like The Monitor, who already knows these facts and just wants the match to end, so he finishes off the remaining House Elves.

 

It is possible to hide in space. No one knows this better that Ben Kenobi. The guy is really good at it, he has been doing it most of his life.

FFL 2021 Week 4: Fastfood Armageddon

 *-4 denotes 4 deaths* 

Crack Danks: Galactus (-4), Nova (-4), Silver Surfer (-4), Sky Lynx (-4), Lt. Commander Worf in Arc Fighter, Supreme Leader Snoke in Sith Fighter, Voltron, Jason Voorhees w/ Red Lantern Ring, Tommy Oliver w/ Dragonzord Flute/Chest Shield, Korg in an A-Wing, Meek, (Jolee Fishdo, Lord Zedd, Rita Repulsa, Crash Bandicoot, and Vampire Magneto in Quintesson Ship)

Affirmative Action Popeyes: Earth 2 Superman w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Revan Reborn in A-Wing, Bastila Shan in TIE Fighter, Jolee Bindo in TIE Bomber, Post Sarlacc Boba Fett in B-Wing, White Lantern Batman, Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Metroplex (-4), Cyclonus & his Armada, Nolan Peterson: Sith Bro in Arwing, Austin Perrison: Sith Bro in Arwing, A-3, Twincast, Fast Forward, Autobot Cassette #1, Autobot Cassette #2, Autobot Cassette #3, Forrest Gump w/ Green Lantern Ring, Mogo, and Destro

This match takes place in deep space.

Both teams spawn in and right off the bat, Galactus notices that Affirmative Action Popeyes has a full planet on their side. So, Galactus calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help attack Planet Mogo while the rest of Crack Danks work on the rest of their Fast Food Counterpart Affirmative Action Popeyes. As these teams are fighting for the bragging rights title of FAST FOOD KING.

The Sith Bros, Twin Cast, Fast Forward, and the three Autobot Cassette’s work on attacking the Quintesson Ship. Magneto uses his mutant powers to crush the Arwing’s that the Sith Bros are flying in and kill them immediately. Fast Forward then retaliates with a Heat Ray Cannon blast to the Warship which causes it to lose some of its mobility. Magneto, angered by this hit to the ship, takes apart the three Autobot Cassettes and throws them at Twin Cast and Fast Forward. Killing Fast Forward but only damaging Twincast. Seeing his team struggle with the Quintesson Warship, Cyclonus and his Armada go to help. Cyclonus hits the ship with his blaster and blows up the ship. This kills Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa and Crash Bandicoot. Magneto saw the blast coming and was able to make a large shield out of metal from the warship but only had enough time to save himself and Jolee Fishdo.

After that Sky Lynx and Voltron team up to face Metroplex and Cyclonus and his Armada. We got a big ole robot fight boys. Voltron uses their giant sword to take a slash at Cyclonus and his Armada. Cyclonus dodged but his Armada were not quick enough as they were cut in half. 

While that is happening Twincast sees a floating Meek in space and hits him with a blaster shot killing him. This angers Korg as he yells “Revolution” and charges at the damaged transformer in his A-Wing and hits him with blasts from his laser cannons.

Earth 2 Superman then goes on a tear and kills Korg, Supreme Leader Snoke, and Lieutenant Commander Worf.

Jason Voorhees sees Forrest Gump and Destro and decides to attack them. Jason Voorhies causes Destro to be frightened but Forrest Gump isn’t scared at all as he doesn’t understand who Jason Voorhees is. Jason has scared Destro so much that he’s frozen in place and Jason kills him easily with his machete. Gump and Jason then have a long and fierce battle as they both just fit the emotion of their lantern rings so well. Jason is just so filled with rage, while Gump has so much will that he’s run across the whole U.S. and has saved the lives of multiple members of the U.S. military. Eventually after a long and fierce battle Jason just barely wins as he was just a more experienced killer. Though he is extremely tired and injured after this exchange with the Alabama Football Player.

Revan, Jolee, Bastila, and Boba Fett fly in their respective ships to attack Tommy Oliver and a weakened Jason Vorhees. Jason puts up a force field with his lantern ring to protect Tommy and himself but isn’t able to hold for very long as the blasters from the Old Republic Force Users and a post sarlacc clone ship were just too strong. Eventually Revan kills Jason with a laser cannon from his A-Wing. Tommy Oliver dodges many blaster shots from the ships but eventually there is only so much he can do and he is killed by a shot from Bastila’s TIE Interceptor.

Galactus sees that his squad is struggling and calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help the rest of their teammates. Silver Surfer and Nova make quick work of some of the members of Affirmative Action Popeyes. They kill Revan, Bastila, Jolee, Boba Fett, and Emperor Palpatine. They are then confronted by A-3 and White Lantern Batman. Batman shoots Silver Surfer with a blast from his White Lantern Ring but SIlver Surfer just absorbs the energy. This confuses Batman as he hasn’t seen anyone absorb energy like that since his encounter with Doomsday. He then uses that absorbed energy and projects it onto A-3, easily killing the Autobot. Nova then uses her extreme agility and reflexes to dodge all of Batman’s lantern blasts and eventually get close enough to the Caped Crusader and rips him in half, as he still is only human.

Now back to the big robot fight. Vampire Magneto then goes to help his team with these giant Transformers. He uses all of his power to slow down Cyclonus just enough so that Voltron can stab him through his chest. This feat of power from the Mutant was so much that it caused Magneto’s brain to have an aneurysm, thus killing him.Metroplex then hits Voltron with a huge blast and kills the Lion powered beast. Sky Lynx then attacks Metroplex, they get into a heated battle. Eventually Metroplex comes out victorious as he rips Sky Lynx’s jaw open (King Kong style). Though Metroplex was not unharmed from this battle as Sky Lynx had greatly damaged one of his legs from a bite from the T-Rex mouthed Transformer. Nova and Silver Surfer see the weakened Metroplex and decide to make easy work of one of the members of Scramble City. Earth 2 Superman then flies in from nowhere and hits Nova with a combo of punches and then uses his ice breath to weaken her cosmic flame. Once that is completed he snaps the neck of Nova.

Now all we have left is Silver Surfer vs. Earth 2 Superman and Galactus vs. Nova. Silver Surfer and Superman go at it but everything that Superman throws at Silver Surfer is either dodged or absorbed by the scientist from Zenn-La. Eventually Superman becomes tired out from his attacks, as the Silver Surfer has drained all of the Yellow Sun Energy from Superman. The Surfer then uses this energy and grabs Superman by the throat and emits it all, causing Superman’s head to explode. 

Silver Surfer then goes to help Galactus absorb Mogo. After a long battle Galactus was victorious and able to consume the planet Mogo. Though he does not feel right after consuming the planet. He then blows up in a giant green explosion killing both him and the Silver Surfer. It turns out the Planet Mogo’s Will was just too strong for Galactus, causing Galactus to blow up with a huge amount of Green Lantern Energy. 

All that’s left in this battle is Jolee Fishdo as he was still behind the shield that Magneto had made for him.

Week 4: Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions vs Dinomites

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, Glenn McClelland, And The Boognish in Spaceball 1, Resplendent Man, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Jade, Ki Adi Mundi in a TIE Fighter, Batwoman in a TIE Fighter, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Belle and The Beast, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid, Space Ghost in The Phantom Cruiser, Jan, Jace, and Blip in their shuttle, The Vampire Lestat

Dinomites: Ranx The Sentient City, The Black Racer, General Zod, Cyborg Superman w/ yellow lantern ring, Captain Marvel, Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in his X-Wing,  Ice w/ star sapphire ring, Zam Wessel in a X-Wing, Jango Fett in a X-Wing, Cassian and K-2SO in Cassian's U-Wing, Bossk in a X-Wing, Aurra Sing in a Y-Wing, Eeth Koth In a A-Wing, Booster Gold, Rey in a B-Wing, Cal Kestis in a TIE Bomber

The battle opened as the Dinomites fighters launched from Ranx, starting their first run on Spaceball 1, which begins the transition into Mega Maid. Wedge and Biggs lead the charge with Zam, Jango, Bossk, Sing, Cassian, Koth, Rey, and Cal, in formation. Blue Beetle, Ki Adi Mundi, Batwoman, and Space Ghost set out to intercept their attack. In the first run, The Dinomites land several hits on Spaceball 1 but manage little damage overall to the gigantic starship. Turrible Decisions follow up and land hits on Sing, and Kestis, and Rey, who’s slower ships are easy targets. This sends them flying into the three-ring circus and the mall, taking out Donkey Kong, Belle and the Beast, Detective Pikachu, Sonja, and Blanka. Wedge and Biggs respond by taking down Blue Beetle and Batwoman. Zam, Jango, and Bossk make a large enough hole in Spaceball 1 to land. Upon landing they are met by Jade, Dhalsim, Kano, and Jax. Bossk lets out a roar and disintegrates Jade, but Dhalsim follows up by wombo comboing Zam. Jango’s wrist roared with flames as he fried Dhalsim and Kano. Jax begins his beat down of Bossk, but is blown to smithereens by Jango’s wrist rocket. With the landing area secured, Cassian and K-2SO land and the 4 of them venture deeper into Mega Maid who at this point has finished the transition and under the control of Ween, who stops jamming to “Ocean Man” and begins to chant “suck.” 

On the surface of Ranx, the living circuits begin to be pulled from the surface and into the giant vacuum cleaner. The rest of the Dinomites squadron turn their attention to the vacuum cleaner, which is guarded by The Phantom Cruiser and Ki Adi Mundi. Wedge, Biggs, and Koth attack in a tight formation and the TIE Fighter doesn't stand a chance against the more agile and better equipped X-Wings and A-Wing. With Mundi dead, Jan, Jace, and Blip launch their shuttle and Koth breaks off to hunt them down while Wedge and Biggs continue pursuing Space Ghost. Too focused on his target, Koth flies into the suck zone and perishes. In a bit of impeccable flying, Space Ghost manages to maneuver behind Biggs and destroy his X-Wing, but is done in by Wedge avenging his fallen friend. Wedge then finds the lone shuttle and ends its existence.

General Zod, Cyborg Superman, The Black Racer, Captain Marvel, Ice, and Booster Gold move as one towards the head of Mega Maid. They are intercepted by Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid. Chaos ensued and when the dust and blood dissipated the only survivors were a damaged Cyborg Superman and a gassed Booster Gold. Back inside Spaceball 1, Jango and Cassian are the last survivors of the boarding party, having lost Bossk and K-2SO in the battles against Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, and Eevee. Upon reaching the door to the head of Mega Maid, they believe they will have won this in just a few moments, when the Wither, set loose from the Zoo, begins to rampage towards them. Jango begins to open fire and Cassian is hit by one of the Wither’s explosive skulls and withers away. The Wither goes into melee mode and Jango is no match for his strength. The Wither then continues rampaging through the ship and eventually out into space, where he just keeps on going, becoming lost to the void.

Cyborg Superman goes for the Head of Mega Maid and sends Booster to find the self destruct button. Booster makes his way through the ear canal and enters through the emergency exit, alerting Lestat to his intentions. The Vampire gave his life by stalling Booster Gold, which gave The Boognish time to reach the self-destruct button, but not before Booster could break the glass starting the countdown. The demon then distracted Booster offering him immense wealth and killed him while his guard was down and headed back to the command center, Back in the head Cyborg Superman enters an empty command center with Ocean Man still on repeat. He deactivates the vacuum, but Ranx has already been mostly destroyed. When the doors open behind him the Boognish stands in the doorway. Thinking he can take the damaged cyborg before the ship explodes they begin their battle. With the power of Ween the Boognish puts up an incredible fight and keeps Superman inside, while the members of Ween use the escape pods. Out in space, Wedge is able to take out the escape pods of Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, and Glenn McClelland, but Mega Maid explodes, forcing him to make the jump away.

Consortium Week 4: Super Kitties vs Be Gentle Its My Third Time

Kitties are : Apocalypse, Power Girl, Starfire, Raven, Magnus Bane, Mr. Spock and Capt. Pike in The Arc, Iko, Scarlet, Thorne, Kai, Cinder, Erland, Wolf, and Cress in The Rampion, Barack Obama and Teddy Roosevelt in a Trade Federation Droid Control Ship, Capt. Hiller, and Capt. Wilder in a Firespray 31, Raven Reyes, Monty Green, Clarke Griffin, Madi, Indra, Bellamy, Blake, Octavia Blake, John Murphy, and Lexa in Count Dookus Ship, Hawkeye in a TIE Interceptor, Princess Leia in a Z95 Headhunter, Firestorm, Space Trooper #1-2, Queen Alien, Baby Marvel Girl, Tomar Tu, Athena, The Insecticons : BombShell, Shrapnell, and Kickback, and Juliette Ferrars w/ a Red Lantern Ring

Gentle is :Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor (final death), Zombie Superman (final death), Zombie Superboy (final death), White Lantern Kyle Raynor, Plo Koon (final death) w/ a Green Lantern Ring in Porkins X-Wing with BB-8 , The Z-Fighters : Gohan (final death) , Krillin, Piccolo, Tien Shinhan, Yanmch, Chiaotzu, Yajrobe, and Bulma, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer (final death), Orange Lantern Lex Luthor (final death), Yellow Lantern Scarecrow (final death) , Mako w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, King Xeno, 2 Dwarves, Black Lantern Batman w/ Beskar Armour (final death), Black Goku ( final death ) Zeus and Hera, Halo Ring, Pick Mazda w/ gt wing.

Democracy Match Week 4: The Striders of Rohan vs The 89th Gender Little Humans

Midgets are Black Lantern Green Lantern, Atrocitus, Ganthet w/ Dwarf Ring #3 , Sayd w/ Dwarf Ring #4, Thundercracker, Bat-Mite w/ Dwarf Ring #6, Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, Skywarp, Depa Billiba in a Jedi V-Wing, Hecate, Air Zonk, Power Dump, Astra, Quasar, Star Fox w/ a Blue Lightsaber in an Arwing, Star Wolf w/ a Double Bladed Red Lightsaber in a TIE Interceptor, Lando Calrissean and Lobot in Princess Leias Y-Wing, ALF and Nien Numb in a 2 seater Y-Wing, Zombie Yellow Lantern, Yellow Lantern #1a and #2a, Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers both with Indigo Lantern Rings, Harambe w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Vampire Darth Maul w/ THE Orange Lantern Ring and The Darksaber, Allia Atreides w/ a Star Saphirre Ring, Soundblaster w Decepticon Cassettes #1-3, Red Rumble, and Blue Frenzy, Sith Decepticon Cassette Josh Houslander in Josh's A-Wing, Homeslice and Artifact the Asgardian Dolemite in a 2 seater Y-Wing, OA Guardian #1-2, Powerglide, Richie Rich and Dollar Bill in a TIE Bomber, Black Lantern Vampire, and a Black Lantern Hammer Bro.

Striders are Ultraman, Superwoman, Power Ring, Steppenwolf w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Rage w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Odin, Baron Mordo, IG Bounty Hunter in a X-Wing, T-2, T-3, Dion, Trail Breaker, Grapple, Chromia, Jedi Master #1a in a TIE Silencer, Mandalorian #1 in a TIE Fighter,  Mandalorian #2 in Kyles Sith Fighter,  Mandalorian #3 in a Y-Wing,  Mandalorian #4 in a Y-Wing,  Mandalorian #5 in a Stealth X-Wing, All of the following characters in The Executrix Dark Troopers #1-5, Greef Karga, Cara Dune, Death Trooper #1a and #2a, Vampire Death Trooper, Black lantern Death Trooper, Zombie Death Trooper, Storm Trooper #1a and #2a, Black Lantern Strom Trooper, Zombie Storm Trooper, and Vampire Storm Trooper - (end of characters in The Executrix) , Blue Lantern #1a and #2a, Vampire Blue Lantern, Zombie Blue Lantern, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Metal Bender #1, Rebel Trooper #1a in a B-Wing, Rebel Trooper #2a in a X-Wing, Jedi Knight #1a in Princess Leias stealth X-Wing. 

 Vote Away! This is a good one. 

S12 W3: Dinomites vs Sith Aids

The Dinomites are: Aquaman King Of Atlantis w/GL Ring, Ice w/star sapphire ring, Vampire Larfleeze, The Aerielbots: (Silverbolt, Air Raid, Skydive, Fireflight, SlingShot), The Technibots:  (Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Nosecone), Quintessa, Bowser: King of Koopa, Captain Tarples, Kit Fisto, Nadar Vebb, Red Lantern Mera, A submarine containing Chirrut Inwee, Baze Malbus, Android Human Torch

The Sith Aids are: Voltron (Vehicle)1-5 (4 deaths), Sharkticon 3-7(4 deaths), Ultra man, Jet Jaguar, Suki, Sukka, Ty Lee, Gnaw, Sludge (4 deaths), Swoop(4 deaths), Weapon H, Cosmic Spiderman, Hancock, Amon, Unsullied #1 (4 deaths), Unsullied #2 (4 deaths)

Ready for the Artifact “Turd of the Week”? Good. Don’t bother buckling up. This ride will be short.

The water runs red with the blood of Tarples, Kit Fisto and Nadar Vebb who unsuccessfully tried to swim away from the Sharkticons. Baze Malbus sends all 5 of them to the graveyard with a few well placed torpedoes. 

Nearby, Quintessa with Bowser riding on her shoulder is taking on Ultra man and Jet Jaguar. Bowser is able to blind Jet Jaguar with a fireball to the eye while Quintessa obliterates his skull. Ultra man is trying to hold his own. He is able to rip the King of Koopa off her shoulder and drown him but Quintessa is almost too much. Swoop “swoops” in and finishes the job but involuntarily kills his teammate in the process. Swoop, Gnaw and Sludge then team up with Voltron who has just gone on a killing spree finishing off the Arielbots thanks to a little help in the sky from Hancock. The Technibots prove a tougher match and in the end all Technibots and Voltron are defeated. Gnaw, Sludge and Swoop were able to blow up the submarine for the Dinomites as well but the Human Torch was able to evacuate before the explosion and with the help of Ice, did a hot and cold number on the remaining robots. 

The two unsullied try to throw their spears at Aquaman but the attempt is easily thwarted as he knocks them aside with his trident and then kills the two. He then shoots a jet of water into the air as Hancock is swooping by and Ice hits the water, freezing it into an icicle of death impaling the guy who looks like The Fresh Prince. 

Amon uses some Avatar trickery that I couldn’t be bothered to google and with the help of Weapon H they avenge their comrade and Ice is defeated. Mera and Aquaman use their combined Lantern power as well as their command of the ocean to put an end to Amon and Weapon H just as they finish the job. At some point in this skirmish, the turbulent waves proved too much for Suki, Sukka and Ty Lee and they faced an unceremonious death at the hand of a lazy writer who is already behind schedule. 

Cosmic Spiderman spins Mera into a cosmic web and before he has a chance to kill her, Vampire Larfleeze bites his neck and drinks up some of that good cosmic blood. Spidey uses a web to grab a nearby tree and while wrapping Larfleeze in a bear hug, propels the two of them into a giant limb that impales both their bodies killing them both. Get it? I used a stick to kill the immortal Larfleeze because he is a vampire. I thought it was funny. 

Consortium Week 3: House Elves vs Be Gentle

House Elevs are Emperor Joker. Godzilla (last life), BlackBolt, Seaworm #1a, Black Lantern Seaworm, Vampire Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm (last life), Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, louie, Duey, Shaak Ti, The Monkguin, Jar Jar Binks, Lucca Brazzi, Liono, and Waterbender #1, 2, and 3. 

Gentle is Zilla, Plo Koon w/ green lantern ring, The Terracons: Hunger, Ripsnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, CutThroat, Cindersaur, Namorita, Full Spectrum Kyle raynor, Dr Strange, Wong, The Tigersharks : Mako w/ a yellow lantern ring, Walro, Dolph, ocavia, Lorca, Bronc, Angel, and Gupp, Chuck Norris in a penguin suit, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer, Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Yellow Lantern ScareCrow, Kratos, Black Lantern Batman in Beskar Armour, Maggi, and Cave Troll #1 (last life).

Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions vs The Striders of Rohan

 Barkleys Turrible Decisions are Omniman, Invincible, Battlebeats, Thrag, and Allen the Alien, Nautilator, Snaptrap, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Killer Croc, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Resplendent Man, Kitana w/ a frog suit, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Al Capone w/ Power Ring, Venom (Flash Thompson) , HotSpot, Blades, Streetwise, Groove, and First Aid, T-X Terminator, The Whither.

The Striders of Rohan are Power Ring, Earth 2 Batman w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Rage w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Arwen Evenstar w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Zombie King Kong, Submarine with Death Trooper #1a and #2a, Storm Trooper #1a and #1b, and Literally Your old Lady (end of submarine characters), Blue Lantern #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Vampire Blue Lantern, Zombie Blue Lantern, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, and Dori, Spinasaurous #1a, Spinasaurous #2, Vampire Spinosaurus, Zombie Spinasaurous, and Black Lantern Spinosaurus, Decpeticon #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Decepticon, Vampire Decepticon, Zombie Decpeticon, Cybertronian #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Cybertronian, Vampire Cybertronian, Steve Yzerman, Paul Coffey, Tim Chevaldae, Bryan Murray, Alan Trammel, Literally ur ol’ lady, Gondor Soldier #3, 12, 15, 18, 19, 20, Fedayeen #5 (last life), Jedi Knight #1a and 1b, Zombie Jedi Knight, Vampire Jedi Knight, Black Lantern Jedi Knight, and Swamp Bender #1 and 2. 

Before the match even stars can we get some rips in chat for : Laya, Scarlett, Piplup, Eevee, Detective Pikachu, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Steve Yzerman, Paul Coffey, Tim Chevaldae, Bryan Murray, Alan Trammel, Gondor Soldier #2, 12, 15, 18, 19, and 20, Fedayeen #5, Jedi Knight #1a, Jedi Knight #1b, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bomber, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, and Dori, Spinasaurous #1a, Spinasaurous #2,  Vampire Spinasaurous, and Zombie Spinasaurous and Black Lantern Spineasaurous

Now,,on to the match. This takes place in Atlantis.

As soon as they drop in the water the troopers and literally your old lady in the submarine notice Resplendent Man as a huge threat, so they fire every missile they can possibly shoot at him but he takes it like a champ. Then punches the submarine into oblivion killing the troopers and literally your old lady, before Resplendent Man receives a Green Lantern made Axe to the neck from Earth 2 batman, in Resplendent Man's last breath he shoots heat vision through the head of Earth 2 batman.

Zombie king kong seemed intimidating, but as soon as the seacons realized he couldn't swim they immediately rush to him and tear him apart. The Jedi Knights rush towards the seacons to avenge Kong but as soon as they turn on their lightsabers they see that they don't work here, and before they can even look back up there dead as the seacons burnt them to death with lasers. 

Arwen Evanstar watching from afar away sees the dominating of the seacons and contacts Power Ring, Morg, Rage, Baron Zemo, and Berry Sanders through telepathy to warn them. With Barry Sanders shooting the seacons with ice balls this allows the lanterns to blow through their metal skin with lantern blasts, Leaving Berry Sanders and Rage alive after defeating the seacons. Killer Croc then comes from behind and grabs them both by the neck and rips their heads off with his teeth. 

Swamp Bender #1 and 2 see that they don't have any vines to work with, and don't like their chances with just water, so they form bubbles around them and retreat.

Venom swims towards the 2 cybertronians thinking he might have a slight advantage but his mobility suffers greatly as the Transformers rip him apart.

Striders see that they are greatly overmatched and outnumbered to this point, and know that all that can save them is hope. Arwen, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Blue Lantern #1a, Blue Lantern #1b, Vampire Blue Lantern, and Zombie Blue Lantern use all the hope they've got and combine the power to create the biggest blast you'll ever see, destroying  Omniman, Invincible, Battlebeast, Thrag, and Allen the Alien. This power disintegrated all of the blue lanterns and Zombie Decepticon, Vampire Decepticon, and Grapple who got caught in the range. 

The protectobots go after trail breaker and ultimately overpowering the durable transformer. The remaining protectobots, hotspot and groove, take out Vampire Cybertronian. 

Killer Croc, Bobbing and weaving through the water at high speeds smacks Black Lantern Cybertronian to the ground which sets up T-x Terminator to blast him to dust with her plasma cannon. Killer Croc then moves onto the 2 decepticon and is just way too fast, ripping them both apart and standing triumphantly over the metal floating through the ocean. 

Dion, being the only strider left, tries to avenge his strider brothers by sneaking up on killer croc, but in sacrifice, kitana breaks out of her frog suit and throws her to fans in the cracks of his metal skin then ripping them out thus killing dion and resulting in kitana drowning herself.