Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Empire

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse is coached by Brett Favre (w/ a Spartan shield and armor). The team is Tom Brady (w/ a blue lantern ring), Guy Gardner (w/ a blue lantern ring), Jason Todd (w/ cannon gun and mithril vest), Centurion #5: AKA Jim Tebow (w/ ferengi energy whip), Super Dinosaur, Han Solo: Rogue Jedi, Az-Rel, Triceraton #1-3 (Stomp, Whomp, and Thwomp), and a Life Model Decoy of Barry Sanders.

The Empire is coached by Kaja Sinis. The team is Bo Jackson, Cleetus The NFL Robot, (Full Spectrum) Kyle Rayner, Superman Jr., Batman Jr., Star Saber, Victory Leo, and The Jeremitt Family: Catarine (w/ a pokeball), Jeremitt (w/ a laser sword), Mace (w/ a laser gun), and Cindel (w/ a star wand).


It has come to pass... That I, Joshatu the Great shall witness this contest. The weapons have been removed from the hands of these two teams and they shall do battle in one of the most modern forms of warfare... The game of football.

The Empire wins the toss. They will receive in the second half.

Here are the highlights from quarter to quarter.

Grindhouse 0 Empire 0

1st Quarter

Tom Brady has never needed help providing hope for his team, but the blue lantern ring on his finger makes this emotion even more prevalent for The Grindhouse. Brady receives the snap from his fellow blue lantern and Michigan alum Guy Gardner and has got all day to throw the football, with The Triceratons providing an absolute wall of an offensive line, along with Jason Todd who doesn't look like a typical lineman, but can sure take a beating with the help of his mithril vest and Batman training. Brady fakes a hand-off to the fake Barry Sanders and steps back to throw. It's caught by Super Dinosaur, who gains 15 more yards after the carry before he's tackled by Cleetus at the Empire's 40 yard line. Brady throws for another first down to Tight End Jim Tebow and then is able to find Super Dinosaur again, but this time in the end zone for the first score of the game. For The Empire's first chance with the ball, Kaja Sinis calls out the big guns and has Star Saber and Victory Leo merge to formVictory Leo, which has me about to blow the whistle for not enough men on the field, when Catarine jeremitt reaches in to her pocket and says: “I choose you Jiggly Puff”. This gives them the necessary 11 players. Superman Jr. may not have the quarterback presence and knowledge that Tom Brady has; but he can throw the ball from endzone to endzone with ease and with either hand. He receives the snap from his buddy Batman Jr. and hands the ball off to Bo Jackson who takes off down the side of the field. He is staying behind his blockers, while he watches Cleetus and Victory Saber knock down Triceratons as if they were toddlers. But he is eventually tackled by Az-Rel at the 20 yard line. 1st down. The Empire has only 15 yards to go, with 4 downs to do it in; but Tom Brady is out there on defense barking orders at his team, like that is the position he has been playing his whole life. The Grindhouse looks over to their head coach Brett Favre, but he is to busy lifting up his Spartan Armor to show some chick in the front row his junk to pay attention. He is also not to great at being a coach, because all he has ever told his team to do is go for a long bomb, so they are basically just ignoring him now. 1st down, Superman Jr. overthrows Victory Saber in the end zone as he loses control and launches the ball in to the stands. 2nd down, The Towani family crumbles like a cookie as Super Dinosaur and Thwomp break through and sack Superman Jr. for a loss of 10 yards. 3rd down, they attempt a running play again with Bo Jackson but he is tackled with only a 7 yard gain with a little help from a force push by Rogue Han. 4th down, they are going to take the points. Cleetus easily kicks it through the uprights to end the 1st quarter of play.

Grindhouse 7 Empire 3

2nd Quarter

The teams both kick up their defense and the score stays tied through in to the half.

Half Time

The half time show is the girl who played Carla from Cheers talking about how much Danny Devito sucks, to the tune of a Jackson 5 medley. It is really awesome.

3rd Quarter

Brady and The Grindhouse march down the field to start the second half, but when Super Dinosaur and Jim Tebow both drop passes they end up settling for a field goal. It was kicked by none other than Tom Brady (God I love that man). Things were looking good for The Empire when Superman Jr. sees Cleetus wide open in the endzone. He drops back to pass when Az-Rel flies in out of nowhere... INTERCEPTION. Az-Rel lands back on the ground and runs it back for the pick 6.

Grindhouse 16 Empire 3

The Grindhouse lines up for the extra point but Victory Leo rockets in to the air and bats down the kick. The pick 6 stays as is.

4th Quarter

The Empire gets back the ball, which leads to Cleetus and Superman Jr. putting on a clinic. Cleetus provides some mad cover, while Supes rushes in for a touchdown to wrap up the 3rd quarter.

Grindhouse 16 Empire 10

Bo Jackson and Superman Jr. rush for even more yards; but are held back from scoring once again by the grindhouse defense. This is when Rayner decides to take matters in to his own ring-laden hands. He lets the rings take control of his body and lunges for the ball. He blows the likes of Superman Jr., Az-Rel, Super Dinosasur, and Victory Saber aside and rockets into the endzone at the speed of light before the rings overtake his body and extinguish his life force. Kyle Rayner in his death makes the score...

Grindhouse 16 Empire 17

Less than two minutes left in the game when The Grindhouse attempts what is certain to be the last drive of the game. Tom Brady takes the snap at the 40 yard line when his wide outs Super Dinosaur and Han Solo are leveled by Cleetus and Victory Leo (yeah... I'm keeping the whistle in my pocket). Tom then throws to his slot receiver Az-Rel. The Triceratons provide cover as he rushes in to the endzone, knocking the heads off of Jeremitt and Catarine Towani (literally). Az-Rel then sees Superman Jr. guarding the endzone as he rushes in for his final push. Az-Rel talks some smack with 1 second left on the clock by saying: “Ahh, this antiquated character believes himself to be the only Kryptonian around... I'll show you how REAL Kryptonians do battle”... Superman Jr. sizes up his opponent and says: “In my day, there was only one surviving being from Krypton, and I liked it better that way” as he stiff arms the Kryptonian “Clyde” with all of his might; breaking the neck of Az-Rel who falls three feet behind Supes in the endzone... Still holding the ball.

TOUCHDOWN GRINDHOUSE...

Week Two Schedule.

 Reminder: All rosters are due by Monday Night, March 11. The second week wil be for 250 Points and set in The Fantasy Fantasy Graveyard. The winner will receive 13 Graveyard Points.

The Match ups.

The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's Red Army (NFG)
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. The Transfoamers (Special Guest Watcher)
Shemalabama Shit Kickers Vs. The Empire (Robimus Prime)
Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Griffin)
TEAM Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Josh)
Griswold Nut-Busters Vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Seeney)
Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Royal Highness (Fizz)
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Josh)

Watcher emails are listed on the main page. Thank you, and good luck to all!

Season 6 Week 1 – Team Sleeping Pussy vs. Dope Fiends

Team SP is: Dark Beast, Blockbuster, Hanover Fiste, Johnny Bates (adult "Kid Marvelman"), Skrull #23, Skrull #24, Shi'ar Warrior #1, Gladiator #1, Biff Tannen, Bill the Butcher, Sam Malone, Head Coach: Ron Meyer

The Dope Fiends are: Desmond Howard, Frank the Tank w/Tron Suit (9 deaths), Ron Burgundy w/Quinlan Vos' Lightsaber, Brian Fantana w/Magnoguard Electrostaff, Brick Tambland w/Trident,
Champ Kind w/Battle Axe, Daken, Dr. Voodoo, Frost Giant #4, Frost Giant #5, Frost Giant #6, Head Coach: Ulyssess S Grant

Pre-Game

“I think I'm gonna get two-- No! Three interceptions today” boasts Desmond Howard to his teammates. “I can't wait to get some action again. I haven't had a start in nearly three years and today we get to actually play football. I might actually make it to the end of a match instead of catching a stray bullet or getting crushed inside a falling building or something.”

“I wouldn't get your hopes up, Dez” says Champ. “The watchers always figure out a way to screw us over.”

The teleportation is complete and the players find themselves in similar surroundings going from their locker room to the visitor's locker room at the stadium. Ulyssess walks in, his head wrapped in a cloud of cigar smoke. “Alright, Boys. I just got details from the watcher on today's match. We are up against Team SP so prepare yourself for who you might face out there.” He takes a long drag on his cigar just as the phone in the locker room rings. He picks it up without speaking and after a few seconds, hangs it up. After exhaling a few smoke rings looks at the team and informs them that it is time to head toward the field.

“Remember, just win the game. Death count doesn't matter today. Frost Giants, you three are on Defense and Daken, I want you in net. Everyone else, play where you want.” Says Grant.

“WAIT!” screams Howard. “Daken is in... NET?”

Grant smiles at him and says, “So much for the interceptions today, Desmond. You cant use your hands in Wembley.”

Both teams run out of their locker rooms onto the pitch and see that just 3 people are in the stands. One has an easel setup and is thrilled to be capturing the spirit of the season opener this year as a spectator. Another man has a sock wrapped around his head, keeping his thick mane out of his eyes and is wearing a Spice Girls concert tee. He is trying to text (surely at astronomical international rates from London) while drinking a Redbridge and eating a large blue ball of cotton candy. The third man is irate at a poor young woman who is just trying to get his food order correct. As she storms off, tears soaking her face, he turns to the second man and vows to cut her head off when she returns.

“Who are those guys?” asks Sam Malone to head coach Ron Meyer.

“Ex-watchers,” Ron explains. “The league has a bunch of new watchers this year so I guess these guys are just hanging out to see how our guy does.”

First Half

The whistle sounds and Brick Tambland takes possession of the ball first, using his trident to block the sword of Gladiator #1. Brick kicks it out to Champ Kind, who then goes across the field to catch a streaking Brian Fantana who is keeping anyone who challenges him at bay with his electrostaff. He arcs a long pass to Ron Burgundy whose header shot goes wide left.

“Strong work news team. Don't worry about that, we have plenty of time.” He says, obviously disappointed in his miss.

Blockbuster is in net for Team SP and heaves the ball back into play over the heads of every player. Daken instinctively reacts in net and the ball explodes as he skewers it with his claws. A new ball is presented and Daken kicks it back into play where it is immediately stolen by Biff Tannen. Sam Malone has his back and as Frost Giant #3 picks up Biff, Sam doesn't miss a beat and moves the ball back toward the net. Dr Voodoo throws down a thick wall of smoke to shield Sam's shot and it must work because he hesitates for just a second before shooting the ball blindly at the net. Daken easily blocks the ball this time, again with his claws, and another new one has to be used.

The same boring crap happens for the remainder of the first half. And after 45 minutes (and a couple dozen destroyed balls), the teams regroup for halftime with the score still nill – nill.

Halftime

“I don't understand it.” Bill the Butcher says to the rest of Team SP. “The net is the size of a boxcar and no one has scored.”

“I know, how is this game even popular around the world?” asks Shi'ar Warrior #1.

“It is a great game, but you guys have no idea what you are doing out there!” Yells Ron Meyer. “I have been living the last year of my life in Africa so I think I have a pretty good idea of what we are doing wrong just from watching the kids in the village play.”

He begins to scribble some plays on a piece of paper and explains to the team some of the basic rules rules (such as offsides and when a corner kick is granted). He then explains how he wants to use the more aggressive 4-3-3 offense and try to take advantage of The Dope Fiends lack of organization.

Second Half

It appears, however, that The Dope Fiends did work on a strategy at halftime. As the whistle sounds, the 3 frost Giants charge in and scoop up Biff, Sam, and Bill the Butcher. They begin to tear the Team SP members in half, raining their blood and entrails on the field. Dark Beast instantly reacts and sinks his claws into the neck of Frost Giant #4 and lifts his head off. He then proceeds to fight Frost Giant #6, who proves to be much more of a challenge than his counterpart, but the end result is the same. Hanover Fiste becomes enraged and grows to huge proportions. He picks up Champ Kind and throws him into the stands, breaking his neck as it gets wedged into a seat. Frank the Tank takes the head off of Gladiator #1 with his identity disc and Skrull #23 and Shi'ai Warrior #1 easily dispose of Desmond Howard without anyone noticing. As they dump his lifeless body into the stands, Shi'ai Warrior nods to Skrull #23 who instantly takes the form of their recently deceased opponent and the two walk back to opposite sides of the field.

“This has escalated quickly! Things are really getting out of hand fast!” Says Burgundy.

The referrees are blowing their whistles and they have run out of red cards. The players settle down and are ordered back to their benches while they figure out the mess. It is decided to end the game in the most logical way – the shootout. Everyone admits that it was probably going to be the outcome anyway. The coaches have to choose 3 players from their teams that are still alive and also were not ejected because of murder. Grant selects Dr. Voodoo, Ron Burgundy, and (who he believes to be) Desmond Howard. Ron Meyer selects Johnny Bates, Shi'ai Warrior #1, and Skrull #24 who takes the form of David Beckham.

Kid Marvelman shoots first and uses telepathy to tell Daken that he is going to shoot left when in fact he shoots right. He scores easily and Team SP is up 1-0.

Dr. Voodoo is up next and using the same technique that blinded Sam Malone earlier, sets up a wall of smoke which Blockbuster cannot see through and as he leans to see around the cloud, Dr. Voodoo simply taps the ball in on his blind side. Score 1-1.

Shi'ai Warrior #1 is up second and he practically steps on the ball when he goes to shoot it nearly toppling over. Since the ball was struck, it counted as a shot and the score remains tied.

Ron Burgundy is next and without hesitation, he throws his lightsaber at Blockbuster who needs to dive out of the way. As with all saves in soccer, Blockbuster guesses correctly with his dive and easily blocks the ball. Score. Is. Still. Tied.

With Skrull #24 in the form of David Beckham, naturally his ball bending skills are superior to the amateur goalkeeping of the son of Wolverine. Daken dives too early and the ball drops in just under the crossbar making the score 2-1 in favor of Team SP.

Desmond Howard is the last hope for The Dope Fiends. As Desmond purposefully blasts the shot wide of the net, the game ends and the Dope Fiends are furious with him. When he retakes his natural form and changes back into Skrull #23, Grant takes the trident from Brick and heaves it into his chest.

As Grant and the rest of the Dope Fiends look to the 3 former watchers in protest, their objections are met with shrugs and laughter. Two of them give thumbs up while the third tries to figure out how he managed to spill cotton candy on his shirt. Dejected, they walk off the field while Team SP jogs off victorious.

Griswold’s Nut Busters vs Michael Vicks Bad News Kennelz

Griswold’s Nut Busters are Head Coach: Dexter (the serial killer),Red Dayspring, Gambit, Jarvis, Velociraptor #8-13,Uruk Hai #9, and Dark Side Marauder #8.

Michael Vick's Bad News Kennelz are Head Coach: Jack Baur, Mandalorian Justin Oblak, Matt Oblak, Pre-Suit Darth Vader, Michael Vick, Claire Bennett, Curtis Manning, Zombie Mr. T, GL Ryan Poteracki, Dr. Teresa Oblak, and Dexter The Dog

The teams are transported to the San Dimas High School Football field. Why San Dimas you ask? One reason, SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULEZ! Yea with a z. The Nut Busters win the coin toss and choose to receive. Michael Vick punts the ball and the game is on Velociraptor #9 catches the ball with its mouth and instantly deflates it.

Matt Oblak: "MotherF**ker. did anybody bring another ball?"

Week 1 Horsemen vs Transfoamers

The Transfoamers are: (Kingdom Come) Flash, BuzzCut, Ram Man, Godzuki, Rubeus Hagrid, Darko Milicic, Max Mercury, Rob Bartlett:  Jedi Knight, The Burger King, John Cena (w/ Blue Lantern Ring), Lars Ulrich (w/ an Atlas Ax from The Shining Force)

The Horsemen are:  Superman, Slag, Sludge, Swoop, Snarl, Black Lantern Mike Sroka, Black Lantern Chris Artrip, Lion-O w/Green Lantern Ring, Panthro, Tygra, Cheetara

The teams decided before the game they would meet at Percival Molson Memorial Stadium in Montreal, Canada. This was done to take advantage of the larger field that the CFL uses, and to be in a location where no one would care about any incidental fan injury or death. Regular NFL uprights were imported for use in this game.

The teams are in the locker room of the stadium before the game discussing their game-plans.
In the Horsemen locker room Elderly Bruce Wayne is attempting to teach his team the basic elements of football, as most of them have never heard of or played the game. Superman is seen staring off with a confused look on his face. He ponders to himself “Where am I? The last thing I remember was giving my life to destroy the Horsemen. Is this hell? Am I a bad guy now? How can I fight for a team I made a career out of killing?” Superman then gets an uneasy look on his face, and although he possesses many super powers, a super gag reflex is not one of them. He projectile vomits directly into BL Mike Sroka’s arm taking it off. BL Mike Sroka merely mumbles something indiscernible and makes a construct of hockey stick with a goalie glove at the end of it to replace his arm.

The only thing that can be heard in the Transfoamers locker room is Buzzcut screaming at his teammates. He does this while the Burger King practices his mascot dance.
The Transfoamers win the coin toss and elect to kickoff. BL Chris Artrip lines up to receive the kickoff and is tackled by the flash at the 10 yard line. Superman lines up behind the Dinobots and Lion-o, who hikes him the ball. As he contemplates his role on this team, he decides to just hand off the ball to Panthro, who is immediately tackled by KC Flash.

The rest of the first half was fairly uneventful as both teams were called for countless offsetting penalties, and no one could understand the refs who only spoke French. The game was delayed three times to bring in replacement refs as almost every single play ended with both teams fighting (out of habit) and the refs were stomped on by the Dinobots while attempting to separate the players. Of note, head coach agent Coulson finally convinced Darko to leave the bench and join his other 10 teammates. He caught a touchdown pass which doubled his lifetime points total for all combined sports and gave the Transfoamers a 7-0 halftime lead.
The teams rush back into their respective locker rooms to shield their ears as Celine Dion takes stage for the halftime show. Agent Coulson’s pep talk centers around getting the ball to KC flash, while Elderly Bruce Wayne talks to superman about handing off the ball on every single play.

The teams lineup for the kickoff. BL Mike Sroka boots the ball into the end zone, where KC flash receives the ball, then instantaneously appears in the other end zone. The Burger King successfully kicks the extra point to put the Transfoamers up 14-0. After a touchback, the next drive has the Horsemen starting at the 20. As instructed by the coach, the Horsemen lineup with Panthro, Cheetara, BL Mike Sroka, BL Chris Artrip, and Tygra all as wide receivers so that superman has to pass the ball. Superman drops back but before any of his much slower teammates can get open he is tackled by Max Mercury, who quickly slips past the much slower Dinobots. The next play he manages to get the pass off but it is intercept by KC flash for a pick six. The extra point is good, and the Transfoamers now lead 21-0.

Elderly Bruce Wayne realizes his best player is woefully underperforming and decides to make a change. He installs BL Chris Artrip as QB and lines superman up at WR. This draws double coverage from KC flash and max mercury, allowing the horsemen to work their way down the field. BL Chris Artrip completes a ten yard pass to Tygra to make the score 21-7.

After the next kickoff, QB Buzzcut lines up behind his linemen Lars Ulrich, Godzuki, Ram Man, Rubeus Hagrid, & John Cena. He is following the game plan of get the ball to flash, except that he misfires and throws the ball into the mouth of sludge. Sludge marches downfield, unable to be tackled by any of the Transfoamers, and into the endzone. For a victory celebration he craps out the football.
The Transfoamers realize they are losing momentum and decide to change their game plan. Since the flash scores too quickly, they decide to try to wind the clock down with runs as well as short passes to JK Rob Bartlett and Darko. They get down to the 10 yard line and attempt to go for it on 4^th and goal. They run an end-around to Max Mercury who immediately gets tackled.

At the two minute warning and down by a touchdown, BL Chris Artrip attempts to lead his team downfield. In a hurry up offense, he successfully completes four straight passes to Cheetara for about 20 yards total. All of his other receivers are covered, and the Transfoamers aren’t going to give up a deep pass. He hands the ball to Panthro who with a couple of key blocks and some fanciful dancing get down to the 6. The teams hurry up down the field and most of the Transfoamers are out of position on the next play. BL Chris Artrip sees an open superman in the end zone and hurls the ball at him, but it hits the head of Ram Man and bounces straight up. BL Chris Artrip runs towards the ball, catches his own pass and jumps over a diving John Cena to score a touchdown that would make Brad Johnson proud. Mike Sroka completes the extra point to tie the game 21-21.

With 15 seconds left on the clock, the Transfoamers get ready to receive the kick. Godzuki receives the kickoff and immediately laterals to Max Mercury, who then laterals to KC Flash. Superman decides that even if he doesn’t like his new team, he must fulfill his duty. He locks in on KC flash and lays into him at the 2 yard line. KC flash was so used to going untouched he had actually started his end zone celebration and wasn’t protecting the ball, which got knocked loose. There is a mad scramble for the ball, and as the referees pull the bodies off, BL Mike Sroka comes up with the ball, minus one of his legs, which he lost in the pileup.
With 98 yards to drive downfield and 2 seconds remaining, Elderly Bruce Wayne calls a timeout and ponders what to do for his team’s final play before overtime. He doesn’t think BL Chris Artrip will be able to complete a Hail Mary that far, and superman is too unreliable. His kicker just lost one of his legs. Weighing all of his options, he decides to go for 3.

BL Mike Sroka, now the Jim Abbott of kickers, hops on his one foot as he readies for the kick. He bounces up and boots a powerful kick that sails perfectly through the uprights as time expires. Unfortunately he landed on his neck after the kick, breaking it and ending his life. The Transfoamers are struck with shock as they realize they have lost the game. Lars Ulrich drives his axe through the Burger King out of frustration, expediting his return to the locker room.

Season 6 week 1- TEAM vs The Royal Highness

Welcome everyone to the beautiful University of Phoenix stadium , here in Glendale, Arizona as we welcome you to the opening of Fantasy Fantasy League season six with our first ever football game, where we'll see the formidable FFL juggernaut known as TEAM go head to head against the current "Kings of the Consolation" the newly re-christened The Royal Highness. I'm Gus Johnson here for ESPN 9- Neuve sports.For a closer look at today's match up let's take it down to our field reporter, Amy Fadool. Amy!

"Thanks Gus, we've got quite the line ups for today's inaugural football contest. Both teams putting up quite the impressive lists of talent.

For the Royal Highness, head coach  The Grandmaster, will be commanding a team comprised of Gladiator from the Imperial Guard, Miracleman, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Dr Otto Octavious commonly known as Dr Octopus, squad of Hannibal, B.A., Faceman, and Howlin Mad Murdoch-also know as The "A-Team", Ninja Gaiden, Nova, and Vampire Kang the Conqueror. Now, we've head reports that Octavious is not to pleased to be participating in a "low brow contest that any biped with working appendages could participate in" and feels his talents could be put to better use "opening a can, or painting a living room or various other menial tasks" Still, you can't argue that Ock's extra appendages could come in pretty handy intercepting passes or making some beautiful throws.

On the other side of the coin, we've got the always formidable TEAM. It's no secret that after last year's less than stellar performance, TEAM is looking to make an impact this year and they certainly did that with this year's off list pic an alternate reality, communist version of the "Man of Steel" they call "Red Son" Superman. We'll get a chance to witness him in action today alongside Black Lanterns Darth Vader and Pete Sosa, Sephiroth, Mega Man X, Proto Man, Elecman, Flash Man, Kefka, Mr. Awesome and Joe Levine. Calling the plays for TEAM will be that man that's as smooth as a Colt .45 head coach Lando Calrissian. 

Both teams putting up some heavy hitters, I can't wait to see this game! Back to you, Gus."

Ok, Amy! Great work. Well, it looks like we're ready for kickoff. The Royal Highness has won the coin toss, and have elected to receive.  Sosa puts up a beautiful kick and we're off! It's caught by Miracleman who's racing down the field an BOOM! Holy hell, what a hit by Red Son Superman on Miracleman! He's getting up and, we've already got a flag on the play! I'm pretty sure I know what this is for, but let's got to the ref for the call."

"Unnecessary roughness. "Red Son" Superman. 15 yard penalty. 1st down"

"Good call on that one, as it looks like the Red Son is putting the 'Suh' in Superman with what looked liek a nasty kick to the ribs of Miracleman as Supes was getting up. 

Ooooh. It's looking ugly. Superman is in the refs face and is very animatedly disputing the call. The ref isn't backing down, telling the Russian 'rules are rules' and WHAT THE HELL!!! Red Son Superman has let loose a vicious burst of heat vision towards the dome of the stadium and the rubble has collapsed all over the Royal Highness! The arena has exploded into pandemonium! Kang is screaming in pain as the sunlight is frying his vampire skin. Hulk Hogan's arm is bent in a hideous angle. I don't see any death, but there's definitely a ton of injuries for  the Royal Highness."

"What's this? Red Son Superman is talking to a very agitated Lando, and..Lando is smiling? He's gone over to the refs. They're having a conference. The refs don't look to pleased...."

"Ladies and gentlemen! It has been pointed out to us by Mr Calrissian that this game is to have 'exactly 11 characters-no more, no less' and due to the fact that Kal-L technically didn't lay a hand on the Royal Highness we have no choice but to award TEAM the customary 2-0 score and award the game to TEAM due to a forfeiture on behalf of The Royal Higness"

"The crowd does not like this news, not one bit. There's the smug face of Kal-L, it looks like he's mouthing something...yeah. He's saying 'Rules are rules' as he passes by the injured roster of the Royal Highness. Hopefully we can get a word with this controversial player, but for now from Glendale, I'm Gus Johnson where TEAM goes over The Royal Highness with a score of 2-0! Thanks for watching ESPN 9-Neuve Sports!"

FFL Rule Changes and Discounts for Season 6

When taking Black Lanterns, Zombies, or Vampires a character from The Graveyard is no longer limited to only being one of them. i.e. just because somebody already has Vampire Achilles, doesn't mean that you cannot have Zombie or Black Lantern Achilles.

Commons will now only have 5 deaths, and will no longer be available for any kind of resurrection. All commons drafted from previous years will be grandfathered in, and there death count will not change.

Characters on the waiver wire will be given yearly deaths in an attempt to lessen the amount of commons floating around being unused. They will never die on the waiver wires, so feel free to snipe 9 death characters as they pop up.

The Team discount has been slightly changed in an attempt to make it easier and more usable (see below).

You may choose one character that you drafted and that died on your team that is less than 40 points to be your “franchise character”. This character cannot be brought back from The Graveyard by anybody, but you.

All of these rules are up for friendly discussion and can be subject to change if that is what members of the league desire.

Discounts

Sidekick Discount: -5 points for any sidekick, apprentice, padawan, son, or daughter. Even if they are a “grown-up” or former version of said “sidekick”. i.e. Nightwing would still get the 5 point discount with Batman.

Partners: If two characters are partners, whether they are “partners in crime”, or partners in marriage, they receive a 2 point discount. i.e. any version of Chris and Julie Artrip would receive this, even if it is Star Sapphire Julie Artrip with Black Lantern Chris Artrip.

Team Discount: Once you play three characters from any given team you subtract 5 points from the total. You then subtract 5 more points for each additional member of that team you play. Recognized teams are; but are not limited to: The X-Men, The Avengers, The Defenders, The Justice League, The Outsiders, and The Teen Titans. If you have another team you think should be included in this mix please bring it up; but most comic book teams fall under one of these larger teams. i.e. a member of X-Force counts as an X-Man, and a member of The Ravagers would count as a Teen Titan.

Commons: Commons are buy 5, get 1 free. i.e. Storm Troopers cost 5 points each, but to play 6 it would only cost 25. The player you get for free must always be a common, but the 5 characters you play initially do not always have to be. For instance, if you were to play Yoda, Obi Wan Kenobi, and Mace Windu; along with 2 common Jedi than you have played your 5 Jedi and are entitled to a free one.

Here is the original post for Week 1. You may also pick a head coach for the field that does not count towards your point total. Also, if you wish to assign positiions to your characters you may do so; not that I can promise what the watchers will do with them.


**In this match, the two teams will not actually be “fighting” but will be playing football against each other. You must play exactly 11 characters (no more, no less) and they must not total more than 200 points. There is no cap on how much any individual character can cost, but they must be able to fit in a stadium and line up at the line up with their 10 teammates (sorry... no Unicron or Mogo).

-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Transfoamers (Edwin the Bard)
-The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Special Guest Watcher)
-Better Than All of You Vs. Former Pop-Superstar Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama's: Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
-Logical Genocide Vs. The Empire (Josh)
-TEAM Vs. The Royal Highness (Seney)
-Griswold's Nut Busters Vs. Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyer's Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Fizz)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Landerlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (NFG)

Season 6 is Underway!

Good luck to all in the coming season.  I have updated the links on the right by adding the Season 6 schedule as well as a link to this post which contains the new watcher email addresses (see below).  Try to send your team to the watcher as well as to the almighty commish.  If I spelled your name or got your email address wrong, let me know and I will fix it.

Thanks all,
Fizz

-----------------------------
Watcher Email addresses
-----------------------------
Josh - joshhouslander [at] gmail [dot] com
Seeney - tragichero182 [at] yahoo [dot] com
Griffin - griffin.poteracki [at] gmail [dot] com
NFG - mgwell79 [at] gmail [dot] com
Fizz - cbartrip6 [at] yahoo [dot] com
Rob - robbartlett22 [at] gmail [dot] com
Ed - thisisntmyemailaddress [at] yahoo [dot] com

-------------------------
Watcher Hall of Fame
-------------------------
Ryan - ryanpoteracki [at] gmail [dot] com
Bryan - bandtbeckerman [at] wideopenwest [dot] com
Goof - archr5 [at] gmail [com]
Nick - nickhouslander [at] yahoo [dot] com

Remember this?

Great way to start this, the Sixth Season of the Fantasy Fantasy League.

More things will be posted soon to prep us all for the next season; but just to let everybody know, your week 1 squad will be due on Monday March 3rd.

Better Than All of You NO MORE....

Long live the Shit Kickers....

Pre-Season Tournament- Round #3

" Welcome everyone to round #3 of Season six pre-season action! I am your host, the INTERNET CHAMPION. Long Island Iced Z. Zack Ryder."

"As you've all seen so far the action has be SSSSSIIIICCCCKKKKK! To give you a quick recap, the  Frank Herbert division fist pumped the face of  the Tolkein division and only lost one member of their team, Jay Garrick-the golden age Flash. But if I were Dark Jedi Pete Sosa, vampire Starfire, and The Midnighter I wouldn't be popping any Bud Light Limes just yet cause the next round isn't gonna be any easier, as the Spielberg division pulled out an impressive victory over the Arthur C Clarke division with only psychic ninja hottie Psylocke and my broski Triple H surviving through to the next round."

"Well, that does it for me. We take you back to the action where WWE Hall of Fame announcer, and another broski of mine good ole JR- Jim Ross will be calling the shots. But before I got don't forget to like me on facebook! Follow me on twitter! Buy all the Zack Ryder merchandise on WWESHOP.com and download my new hit single "Hoeski" on iTunes! Tweet me a pic of your purchase of my single and I will follow YOU on Twitter. Make sure you keep tweeting me till I follow you."

"Take care. Spike your hair. WOO WOO WOO. You know it!"



"Thank you, Zack and welcome back to the action, folks. The ring is just about clear, the Herberts division is discussing strategy in the ring as the Spielberg division heads down the-.  Hold on. Someone's storming the ring, pushing past the Spielberg members... Is that? It seems to be... yes it is it'sCM Punk. But what the hell is he doing here? He hasn't been signed to any team yet! The draft isn't for another couple days. What business does he have interrupting this match"


"Looks like Punk has a microphone. This is always...interesting to say the least. Let's see what's on mister Punk's mind."

"Ladies and gentlemen, and I use those terms very loosely, I am here interrupting your little happy happy fun time because a crime is going to be committed. That's right. A crime will be committed and not surprisingly no one is willing to do anything about it."

"What's the crime? Simple. The crime of ignorance. That's right, ignorance. I took a look at the so called 'draft list' to get an idea of which of your various heroes and saviors I'll have the pleasure of dismantling and pushing down from grace this year, and I see that not only am I entered at #46, which is a joke, but my supposed 'ranking' is only 8 measly points. 8. The longest reigning WWE champion of the last 25 years, the second city saint, the straight edged messiah, THE BEST IN THE WORLD is worth less points than a furry orange tree hugger or a panda that knows karate and I demand to know why."

"Listen up Punk, this isn't the time or the place for you. Now I suggest you leave this ring right now. I already killed me one former WWE champion tonight. I got no problem killing you and then Triple H for the hat trick" smirked Pete Sosa as he ignites his lightsaber "Matter of fact, I think that'd be a fine way to start this season."

"Yeah, big man? You gonna kill an unarmed man, tough guy? Oooooh. Big, bad ass Jedi man gonna kill me. Well come on. Strike me down, before I really get pissed off and decide to put your LIGHTS OUT!"

"Well, folks. I don't know exactly how good a pick CM Punk is gonna be in this year's draft since he's apparently gonna come in with one dea-"

"What the hell? Where are the damn lights? I hear a struggle. I see some flashes of  a purple light. What the hell is going on down there? CAN SOMEONE GET THE DAMN LIGHTS UP??!!!!"

"Ok, the lights are back up. Oh my. My god ladies and gentlemen. The ring. The ring is full of..well it's filled with pure carnage and brutality. The Midnighter has been decapitated. Half of Psylocke is in the ring and the other half seems to be hanging from the lights. Vampire Starfire has been impaled by the arm of jedi Sosa. Her mouth full of the Jedi's blood, as it looks like she tore his damn throat out as he killed her. The lone person standing amidst the gore is a blood splattered CM Punk, who seems to be laughing. Did he...did he kill everyone? What the hell is going on??!! The only one who seems to be untouched is Triple H, but he's nowhere near the ring? Punk looks like he's got more to say, let's hear from him"

"Let me break things down for you. It's not just about your superpowers. It's not how fast or strong you are. If you have a magic ring, or are weakened by a rock or a match, if you have a healing power or any of that crap. It's all in who you know and who you owe. And right now you all will know two things. Number one is that I am a very dangerous man with very dangerous friends. Number two is that I will NOT abide by anyone looking down their nose at me or any of my professional brethren.Unfortunately for the Herbert division,the kitties made the mistake of disrespecting one of the true greats in my business and by extension me, so I felt I owed them a little lesson.  The good news for the Herberts, and any division really, is that I'm willing to be the bigger man and forgive you all for your previous missteps."

" I'll see you all on draft day, maybe even sooner for some of you"

 "Ladies and gentlemen. I'm at a loss for words. As we see Punk exit the arena he's walking past Triple H who's just staring with a big smile on his face. Punk's looking up towards the skybox where all the owners from the Spielberg division are celebrating. He's pointing at them. He's yelling something....'Did I pass the audition?' What the hell does that mean??!! Did I pass the audition? Is Punk...is Punk aligned with a team in the Spielberg division? Did someone pay him off?? Wait. It seems that...is that Horsemen owner Ryan Poteracki giving Punk the thumbs up??!! Folks, I wish I had more answers for you, but for now all I can say is thanks to CM Punk the damn Steven Spielberg division has won the match thanks to that  sneaky, slimey, vile opportunist CM Punk."

 "For the Ocho, this is Jim Ross signing off! Good night everybody!"

Pre-Season Tournament: Match #2

American League Pre-Season Throw Down

The Announcers are Dean Cain and Shia LaBeouf.

The Special Guest Referee is Terri Hatcher (not modern day “South Beach Crazy” Terri Hatcher; but “HOT”, young, “Maybe she could peal “7” lbs. because we don't know how “not great” she is going to look when she does” Terri Hatcher.


“Welcome to Season 6 ladies and gentlemen, I'm Dean; and my cohort over here is Shia. We've got a ton of Pre-Season action for you here tonight so lets get down to it”.

“Well Dean, let's not get to excited about it; after all, it is only Pre-Season.” says Shia.

Your host with the most Dean Cain says: “Hmmm... wow Shia, are you just purposely being a dick; or was that just an example of your natural need to publicly criticize everything that you are directly involved in”?
Shia begins to retort but Dean evidently decides to let that question transform in to a rhetorical one right before our eyes. The Super-stud gets on with the match per-cursors by saying: “We are especially happy to be here and to introduce our special guest referee Terri Hatcher, who is currently in the ring awaiting the two teams, while wearing absolutely nothing. She looks great; but Shia, before I turn it over to you for the team introductions, I must admit that I am not looking forward to going in to this crowd of wrestling fans and explaining to all of these adolescent-minded retards why there wiener is getting hard”.

Shia shakes off a bewildered look and says: “Wow Dean, if that comment was any shittier, the National Enquirer would be informing me that I said it at a bar I don't remember being at. But, anyway here are our teams. Now coming down the aisle representing the Ryan Poteracki Division are Jedi Master #38C (from TEAM), Sardakaur #47 (from Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers), (Age of Apocalypse) Nightcrawler (from Griswold's Nut-Busters), and Andre the Giant (from Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies). And from the Matt Oblak Division... Sorry, for the antiquated division names here by the way. I just never did learn those new-fangled divisions last season”.

“Of course you didn't.... Dillhole”. Says a smug Cainster.

Shia continues: “The Midnighter (from The Royal Highness), (Vampire) Starfire (from Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family), Dark Jedi Pete Sosa (from Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve), and The Flash (Golden Age/Jay Garrick) (from Team Sleeping Pussy)”. Shia continues: “But aside from that, I gotta say: Damn 90's Terri Hatcher looks good. Sooooo Dean, I gotta know... Did you hit that back in the day or what”?
Cainasaurus Rex answers: “Did I hit that?...? Did Iiiiiiii hit that you say?? What do you think La-poof? I'm Dean F*&^%ng CAIN!! I'm a blond haired, quarter Asian guy who eats less than 385 calories a day and can bench-press your mom. I was done with that before you could “Even Steven” son”.


The Match begins with Nude Terri Hatcher attempting to maintain some semblance of rules. She instructs both teams that only one person per team may fight at a time and that they need to tag in their desired teammate when they wish to switch. It works great for the first few minutes, until Vampire Starfire gets hungry and decides to eat her. This throws off any semblance of order as all 8 competitors jump in to the ring and begin battling wildly. The Jedi Master and the Sardakaur terror troop get instantly locked in to intense battles with Vampire Starfire and The Midnighter, while Andre the Giant starts thundering towards Pete. The Flash starts circling the ring at amazing speeds in order to throw off his opponents.

Dean Cain comments awesomely: “Holy crap, I haven't seen anything move that fast since the last time Shia had to much to drink and got behind the wheel”.

Shia is about to retort smugly when two poison darts come sailing through the air and hit the non-desired targets of Dean Cain's eye and Shia LaBeouf's throat. The Sardakaur carefully aimed these projectiles; but The Midnighter anticipated the attack and moved out of the way in the nick of time. The Midnighter then kicks the imperial-crested blade out of the hands of the terror troop, but the well-trained trooper parries and backs in to a defensive position. The Sardakaur then pulls the shigawire strand out of his hair and begins to move towards The Midnighter; but this Batman rip-off isn't afraid to get down and dirty when it comes to killing his opponents. He moves swiftly ducking under the Sardakaur's right arm and then grabs a hold of both of his elbows to pull the razor sharp wire back on the trooper's own neck slicing it open. The Jedi Master manages to hold off Starfire's eye blasts with his lightsaber; but in the end is no match for the “Vamped-up” Tamaranian when she goes in for the kill by flying in feet first to take the lightsaber out of his hand. She then grabs a hold of his head and starts squeezing. Blood begins to drip from the eyes and nose of the Jedi before she digs her fangs into his neck.

The well-groomed, very disciplined, and perfectly physically fit Dark Jedi known as Pete Sosa begins to talk all kinds of smack to Andre the Giant, as he ignites the green lightsaber he took from the dead Jedi Padawan who had the poor foresight to cross him. “Someone of your stature could be so physically powerful, but instead you obviously waste your gifts with a self-indulgent life style. I will happily end your existence”.
Andre then surprises the Sosa-nater, by moving much faster than expected. He bats the lightsaber out of his hand with his massive fist and then picks up Pete by his neck. Pete struggles to get the massive hands unlocked from around his throat but even with his strength being aided by that of the force he cannot budge him. Pete's face is completely red when begins to concentrate with all of his might on using the force to aim the antiquated .45 Taurus Pistol that it is holstered at his back. Without touching the gun at all, he pulls back the firing pin with his mind and blasts off one of Andre's toes through his enormous black boots. The Giant is furious as he throws Pete down to the ground. Pete manages to jump up much quicker than expected after being thrown down hard by the wrestler and uses the force to suck his lightsaber back in to his right hand. Pete then leaps in to the air and drives the lightsaber deep in to the shoulder blade and down into the body of Andre the Giant to take his revenge. Flash is still moving at astounding rates but he is still having trouble keeping up with Nightcrawler's constant teleporting. The mutant then teleports directly in front of Flash's line of travel and has a Cutlass-style sword waiting for the meta-human to run right into. (A of A) Nightcrawler then begins to attack The Midnighter who manages to parry the initial attacks of the alternate dimension mutant. But before The Midnighter's brain can formulate a scenario to defeat his opponent, the action becomes unnecessary. While Nightcrawler is busy with his “pitched”1 battle against The Midnighter, Starfire bears her fangs once again and uses them to rip the back of the blue mutants neck off effortlessly.



1 Becks shout-outs Fo' Life

Super Sunday - A Look Back at the Universe Bowl

In honor of Super Bowl Sunday, here is a look back at the first five years worth of Universe Bowls...





Universe Bowl I
June 10, 2008
TEAM defeated Le' Napoleon's Brigade



Univers Bowl II
June 23, 2009
Horsemen of Apokolips defeated George Washington's Slaves



Universe Bowl III
August 20, 2010
Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches defeated Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos



Universe Bowl IV
August 4, 2011
Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve defeated The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets



Universe Bowl V
August 22, 2012
Miley Cyrus & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos defeated Beckerman's Backyardigan's Beeyatches

Survivor Series Round One: The Arthur C Clarke Division vs The Steven Spielberg Division

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Survivor Series match, and is not over until all members of one team have been eliminated! The survivors will move on to the final round!" declares legendary WWE ring announcer Howard Finkel. "Duel of the Fates" echoes through the arena as the team representing the Clarke division walks down the aisle in solidarity. Well, mostly, as Mad Eye Moody seems preturbed by the music selection. "Ugh, this predictable drivel." he mutters to himself. The Fink continues with his introduction. "Now entering the ring, Mad Eye Moody, Black Lantern Darth Rave, Tarfful, and Nightbrother #7, The... The..." Nightbrother #7 whispers something in Howard Finkel's ear. "The Nightbrothers!" The savage almost cracks a rare smile as his teammates shake their heads in unison. "And their opponents..."

The Spielberg Division is indeed divided, as each member enters seperately. The familiar guitar riff of AC/DC's "Have a Drink on Me" accompanies Battle Pope on his slow, inebriated walk to the ring. Sith lord Mike Sroka's theme song is the title track from Mega Man 2, possibly a glimpse of better times in the life of this now twisted soul. Psylocke enters to "Rule, Britannia!" like a proper Englishwoman, despite her Asian appearance. The 3 climb through the ropes and wait for the final combatant, Triple H. "The Nightbrothers" decide to seize the opportunity and "Pearl Harbor" the short-handed team.

Sensing the immenent peril, Psylocke manages to avoid the attack and pairs off with Nightbrother #7. Battle Pope and Sroka are not as lucky, and the combined boots pummel them. "Now stick to the plan!" orders Tarfful. "Rave, destroy the pretender, I shall defeat the false emissary, and Moody, keep a watch for our tardy foe." Actually, it sounded like a Wookie roaring. Either his teammates understand Wookie, or this has been practiced because the squad complies. They each take their respective opponent to a different quadrant of the squared circle, except for Mad Eye Moody, who keeps watch for the still absent HHH.

As the Sith lords square off, Mike Sroka's hatred is palpable. "Rave," Mike hisses, "You continue to embarass the Dark Side even after death. Allow me to rectify this." Darth Rave responds with "Rectify...heh...." and trails off as he fires up his lightsabers and twirls them with their attached chains. Unimpressed by the lightshow, Sroka attacks wildly with his lightsaber, typical of a Sith. Rave blocks every attack thrown at him. It is either a strong force connection or pure luck because he is clearly transfixed on his own shiny weapons, laughing in a drug induced state. Naturally, this enrages Mike, which fuels his attack. This also causes Darth Rave to laugh harder, which fuels this stalemate.

We now turn to a more lopsided affair concerning Psylocke and Nightbrother #7. The Nightbrother is a fierce warrior, but he is no match for the X-Mens' resident telepathic ninja. After a clean roundhouse kick to the jaw, she is able to mentally overtake him. "Stay there, I'll be back for you soon enough," she says to the enthralled Nightbrother. This allows her to assist Battle Pope, who is in a dire situation.

After the surprise attack that began this match, Battle Pope was easily scooped into the arms of Tarfful and is stuck in the dreaded Wookie-hug of Death. "Hey Pope, need a hand?"asks Psylocke. "Bout time, sweetcheeks..." replies the almost unconcious Pope. "I already regret this..." quips Psylocke as she plunges her "psychic knife" into the mind of Tarfful. Normally, this disrupts the mind of her victim, but this time it diconnects the Wookie from his intelligence. Only the animal is left as he snaps the ribs of Battle Pope and drops him to face the mind witch. In this unrestrained mindset, Tarfful easily overpowers her, and even more easily rips her in two. Battle Popes lungs are rapidly filling with blood, but he's not ready to be called home just yet. "Hey furball..." gasps the pope, "You don't get to kill a sweet piece like that and expect to get away with it, do ya!?!" The Wookie growls as he approaches the holy man. "That's it ugly... come and get it." retorts Battle Pope. Tarfful attempts a final Wookie death hug, but is met with a Great Muta-like spray of blood from mouth of the wayward pope, followed by a lit Zippo and a kick out of the ring. Based on the spread of the flames across the Wookie fur, that blood must have a BAC of at least .35. "See Father, being a shameless drunk isn't always a bad thing." grins the Pope, looking skyward. "I suppose I should go help that Scrotum kid, or whatever his name is."laments Battle Pope as he proceeds to the still tied Sith duel.

"I cut you down, yet you will not fall! Die for me!" screams Sroka. Darth Rave pays little attention to his opponent as he is still focused on his own personal lazer show. "But, the colors... I love you man..." rambles Rave. An even more enraged Mike charges in and hacks away, to no avail. A badly damaged Battle Pope finally reaches the struggle and restrains Darth Rave. "It's the ring, kid! It's unholiness sustains him! Get rid of it!" yells the pope. Sroka nods as he remove Darth Rave's ring with a precision lightsaber strike. "I'll take it from here..." Battle Pope says as he grabs the Black Lantern ring. "You're coming with me, where ever that may be..." With that, his injuries catch up with him and he is engulfed in a white light. "Ha, didn't think you cared Old Man, figured I was headed Down South." says Battle Pope. "We have unfinished business of our own. Mercy is the last thing you should expect." retorts a booming disembodied voice. "Still mad about the Mary thing, eh," laughs the pope. "YES" says the voice. "Wow, still? You're a stubborn bastard, aren't ya?" mutters Battle Pope. After a moment, the voice responds "..... YES." Battle Pope ascends to Heaven with the Black lantern ring in tow, which causes Darth Rave to disintegrate as well. A fading "Duuuuuuude......" marks his passing.

So it is just you and me, wizard. Your eye will be a fitting trophy." snarles Mike Sroka. Mad Eye Moody continues to perch atop the turnbuckle, paying no attention to the Sith. "Do you hear me old man? Are you afaid to face your death?" Still, the wizard ignores the rants. "Enough of your impudence! DIE!!!!!" screams Sroka as he puts everything he has into a blast of force lightning. Surprisingly, the lightning reflects back at the Sith lord, cooking him completely. "I was prepared for this dark one. Can't be too careful with your kind!" says Moody to himself. "Ah, and here comes your wayward teammate. I was starting to think that he wouldn't even show his face at this point. My mistake."

"TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAME!!!" The normal house lights are replaced by the strobing colored lights that accompany Motorhead's entrance music for Triple H. He makes his way down the aisle and climbs to the outside of the ring. With a glance to Mad Eye, HHH continues his pre-match ritual of misting water into the air and looking pissed in general. The regular arena lights return as HHH enters the ring with a microphone. "You must be pretty proud of yourself Moody. Your team managed to take out a Pope and a Sith Lord. Too bad you're done now." "You forgot about the woman, too!" sneers Mad Eye. With a sly smile, Triple H responds "Did I? That's funny, she doesn't look dead to me. In fact, she's right behind you." Mad Eye Moody turns around just in time to catch a little Sweet Chin Music, a.k.a. a superkick from a very much alive Psylocke. This propels him into the clutches of a waiting HHH, who wastes no time delivering a Pedigree, his devastating finisher. The sound of face smashing into canvas signals the end of the match.

"Pretty neat trick, Braddock. When exactly did you begin your illusion?" asks HHH. "Right after I hit the Wookie with my psychic knife and sensed it did not go as planned." explains Psylocke. "I projected my image onto the Nightbrother, and his onto mine. I had to do something, I was begining to doubt whether you'd even show!" "Listen lady, I run this business now, and the paperwork's a killer!" barks HHH. "And if you ain't down with that, I got two words for ya!" As Psylocke sighs and shakes her head, Triple H's catch phrase is interupted by groans from the heap that was once Mad Eye Moody. An obviously annoyed Trip grabs his trademark sledgehammer. "As I was saying..." The hammer comes down on the back of Mad Eye's skull, splattering bone and brains everywhere. "...Game over."



Speilberg Division is victorious with Triple H and Psylocke continuing to the final match.

"The Nightbrothers": All dead



And thus ends the amateurish retelling of an event that would've been greater served by a more experienced Watcher, but you got me, so... yeah... There you have it. Yup... So how do you officially stop watching? .... I mean, is there a button to push.... or like, a magic word, or... SHAZAM! .... ummmm... Guys, this isn't funny... Look, I'm sure you don't want to follow me around, and I'd rather not have stalkers, so... end communication... bye?

The refridgerator smelled of spilled beer and slowly rotting fruit. The man reached for the box of leftovers from his bountiful lunch. "Ah, fajitas. The gift that keeps on giving." he says appreciating the truthfulness and the sadness of this statement at the same time. The man also... "Wait, you guys are STILL here? Um, this is kinda weird... er...." Desperately, the man grabs his tequilla and drinks like there's no tomorrow. He manages to drunkenly stumble into a coffee table and smack his head.

*Fade to black*

Commandos Final Press Release

Dear FFL,

On this very exciting day for myself and my family, I would like to quickly discuss the meaning behind the title of this post. First off, I mentioned late last year that I would be stepping down as head coach of the Commandos, which is still the case. It has been discussed throughout the team and a new leadership has been decided. From this point on the new Head Coach of the Commandos will be Professor Minerva McGonagall from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As the Head Mistress of Hogwarts, Minerva lead the Battle against Lord Voldemort and has shown herself in the FFL to not only be a fine leader but also a brave combatant as well. Alongside Minerva will be her two newly named assistant coaches, Hermione Granger and Rupert Giles. I believe that this new coaching staff will bring a more intelligent mindset to the team without losing any of it's successful strategies from the past. I for one look forward to seeing where this new leadership will be bringing this team in the years to come.

In regards to the title of this post. The reason I say the 'Commandos Final Press Release' is that as of this point forward the new name of the Commandos will be "President Barack Obama and Taylor Swift's RED army". Now it was not my idea to keep my name in the fore-front of this team but it was voted on with an overwhelming majority to keep it that way. Ms. Swift on the other hand has become quite popular in the locker room and with Miley's continuing struggles with her mental health, it became apparent that she would no longer be able to continue her job in the same capacity as she had before. We hope the rest of the league can respect Miley's privacy in her time of crisis.

I on the other hand will continue to stay with the team but in more of a supporting role then I have been previous to now. I will continue to provide the RED army with any help that they need but will leave the heavy lifting and everyday team operations to the new administration.

In closing (as our luncheon is moments away from starting) I would like to wish Professor McGonagall and her new staff the best of luck in the years to come. The same goes for everyone else in the FFL this season, I hope for nothing but another year filled with strong competition and new surprises at every turn.

I thank you all for your time.

Sincerely,

President Barack Obama

More New Logos

New Logos

More to come....

Artwork offer

Hey everyone,
I'm currently working on doing some commissioned paintings right now. And I figured who better to ask than the Fantasy Fantasy League members?! I'm doing 12"x16" paintings of any single character that you would like. They will each be $50. But if you want more than one, a deal can and will be offered. Let me know if any of you are interested!

Thanks,
Ryan
Ryanpoteracki@gmail.com