Laya’s Squad is Ant Man, Armor, Nocturne, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Alan Scott, Monarch, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Feral, Nightbird, Decepticon #4, The Lorax, Bendonner, and Reepicheep'
The Royal Highness is Nova, (original) Beast, Phantom Stranger, Chriselion, Hush, Chameleon, Micah Jiett, Jedi Master #41, Sunstreaker, The Ideon, Black Lantern Super Soldier, Invincible, Linus Van Pelt.
Hey, Joshatu here. Here’s the deal, I just got back from The Virgin Islands and I don’t feel like doing anything if it doesn’t involve a beach or an enormous cigar; so I’m going to break down this match into a one on one battle between the teams until both of these exceptional squads are done and move on to the finals. But the problem I found was that I couldn’t find anybody that wanted to write the whole thing, so I just went into the multiverse and randomly grabbed the first people I saw to watch each part of the match until I had enough to complete it…. Enjoy……….
How ya doing, this is John Ritter. I just walked on to the set of Three’s Company and boy did I ever fall into a fresh set of antics this time (**LAUGH TRACK**). But this catastrophe wasn’t as bad as the one that Ant Man faced, when he was totally obliterated by Nova.
Hi all, this is Duff McKagen from Guns N’ Roses. I’m wasted but I totally just saw Beast beat the crap out of the force field chick armor. She looked way more powerful and stuff; but he was smarter or .something and must of known how to exploit her powers…….. Weird…… Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy some stocks.
Hello Kemosabe, this Tanto, friend to Lone Ranger and friend to Fantasy Fantasy. Nocturne has done much teleporting. The teleporting was fast. But Phantom Stranger was powerful as the Ghost dance and he won battle for the land and spirits.
Sufferin Succotash!! Thisss is Sylvester. I’m a cat. And that huge Hawkman, looks DELISHUSS!! But I don’t think I’m gonna messssss with em after the way he just waxed that disco ball green lantern Chrisssssselion.
Hi, I’m Prince Adam. Don’t tell anybody I’m He-Man. Unless you’re going to tell Hush, because he just got wasted by Green lantern magic. The End. And remember, don’t tell anybody I’m He-Man.
President Calvin Coolidge (man of few words). Said: Monarch beat Chameleon.
Hi suckas, this is Bryan Beckerman. I’m here to watch the pitched battle between Micah Jiett and Warmaster Tsavong Lah. I was chosen to do this match because I’m the only guy left in the Multiverse that remembers who these two dudes actually are (and cause I’ve got the world’s biggest SCHLONG!!: BEEYATCH!!)! Naturally, The Warmaster wins the fight after Master Jiett’s very powerful force powers are removed due to his natural Yuuzhong Vhonn abilities…. Duh.
Hey, this is Justin Bieber. It’s okay, I know you love me. Feral killed Jedi Master #41. Nah dawg, it wasn’t with claws it was with a lightsaber yo. SO!! You’re mom went to jail.
Hello fellow Cybertronians, this is the bearer of the matrix Alpha Trion. Nightbird, who would someday defeat my predecessor Optimus Prime, has easily dispatched the Autobot Sunstreaker. Now follow your souls friends.
“Dirty Diapers”!! This is Fantastic Max!! Well along came Ideon and the fun time started and Decepticon #4 is dead again. And you readers owe it all to my 4 ply diaper and this safety pin. FANTASTIC MAX!!!!s
Confucious say: The Lorax is wise; but he can’t beat Black Lantern Super Soldier.i
AYE!! I am William Wallace. An I jus witnessed Invincible fly right up the arse of Bendonner and kill the giant with his bear head. It was bloody hilarious!!
I’m Charlie Brown. I’m sad. My friend Linus is dead. Reepicheep was very fast and he killed my friend Linus. It made me sad.
Round 2
PEEKA!! Peeka. Peeeeeeca. Peeka. (*translation*). Hi, I’m Pikachu. I’m a Pokemon. It took a while for Invincible to catch Reepicheep, but when he did, he killed him.
Hey ya sissies!! Dis is Andrew Dice Clay ya folla. Ring around the Rosey, a black lantern shield on your toesies. Ashes, ashes da dumb ninja chick falls down. OHH!! Super Soldier beats Nightbird, ya folla.
This is Poop Man, I’m not a real person, or even a real character. But Josh wishes I was. But let me tell ya, even as a fake character that is 100% made of poop, I could tell you that The Ideon killed Feral, and then Feral pooped himself and I thought it was awesome (so did Josh).
Hello my children, this is Jesus. I wish that no killing would take place. Though shalt treat your neighbor as you would like to be treated. The Phantom Stranger did not obey this golden rule when he killed The Warmaster Tsavong Lah. But I forgive him, and I still love them both.
Good day, I am Peppin the Short. I’m a very interesting person in history, and if you do not know who I am you should use Wikipedia to find out. One thing you will not find in your research is that I just saw Monarch kill (original) Beast. They would both have fit in my army well.
Hello, for the sake of pluralism and political correctness I am Eleanor of Aquitaine. I am interesting as well (probably more interesting). Look me up too!! By the way Alan Scott’s crusade was successful against Nova.
Hi, this is Josh Houslander. I’m awesome. That punk Hawkman just got wasted by The Phantom Stranger cuz he sucks. TOLD YA RYAN!!
THIS IS ROSEY O’DONELL!! Alan Scott wins the fight over The Ideon, because Alan Scott is gay and gay is the way!! Plus, I’ve never heard of The Ideon, I mean who has??
Hey, this is Becks again, I’m breaking the rules and going twice. Black Lantern Super Soldier and Monarch kill each other, because they are both so powerful. HA!! This battle was soooooo pitched that it was a tie!! And you said no ties Josh. HA!! You suck Houslander!! Eff You!!
This is Vladimir Putin. I will decide match. Alan Scott is very strong, even though he is gay. If he live in Russia he would not be. America has failed him, not magic ring that work great. But he not strong enough to fight both Phantom Stranger and Invincible. They are strangely phantom like and Invincible once they form team. They won this match. Thanks to me for watching it and for Russia for being strong. Ukraine is weak. U.S. is weak. Russia strong. This match is over. Thank you for reading it. Yes it was stupid. Russis is not stupid. But at least match was better than the Olympics. And safer too.
Monday, February 17, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Unlucky 13: The Traveling Sisterhood of Midgets vs. The Royal Highness
The Traveling Sisterhood of Midgets
(Squad #2) are Glom, Longshot, Toad, B/G Lantern Hal Jordan, Star
Sapphire #5, Eclipso, Jeer Dexton, Jedi Master #33A, Sharkticon #37,
Vampire #100, Stratos, and Mokey.
The Royal Highness is Nova (with Xandarian Worldmind), (Original) Beast, The Phantom Stranger, Chriselion, Hush, Chameleon, Micah Jiett, Jedi Master #41, Sunstreaker, The Ideon, Black Lantern Super Soldier, Invincible, and Linus Van Pelt.
The Midgets were climbing toward GoBotron’s core up a cliff in the massive crater left by the fateful asteroid impact that forced GoBots upon the universe. From afar, Nova and The Phantom Stranger observed their progress, their teammates awaiting instruction behind them. “We barely made it out last time, and some of these guys are pretty powerful.” Nova warned The Stranger. “Anything a little more useful you can do this time?” The Stranger nodded. “I suppose I could keep some of their hands free, at least.” Like shadows, two identical copies emerged from Phantom’s sides. They teleported to the tanks comprising The Ideon, and the three formed the mecha in preparation. Nova waved on his team and they descended upon their enemies. Eclipso was the first to notice their approach, sensing the familiar power of The Stranger, and his team rushed to take a defensive stance. Invincible and Black Lantern Super Soldier were the first to arrive, tackling Toad and Stratos respectively and beating them down with full force. Nova followed soon after and opened fire against B/G Hal Jordan, but Glom leapt hungrily into the line of fire, consuming the energy of the Nova Force. As Glom protected him, Jordan fired a barrage of blue and green missiles at the Black Lantern, vaporizing his ring and returning him to death, unfortunately too late for Stratos. The Phantom Stranger(s) showed up piloting The Ideon and began charging the black hole cannon. Eclipso attempted to stop The Stranger, but Chameleon and Micah Jiett teamed up to beat him back against the hull of the machine. As the cannon finished charging, Longshot’s eye began to glow, and Phantom Stranger took notice. “Unlikely, but fair. Hope this doesn’t hurt too much.” The cannon malfunctioned and the black hole became lodged in The Ideon, drawing itself, Phantom Stranger, Chameleon, Eclipso, and Micah Jiett in before collapsing.
Chriselion fought Star Sapphire #5
while Sunstriker struggled to shoot Jeer Dexton. Satisfied with the
puree he had beaten Toad into, Invincible stopped Glom from
protecting Jordan with a running punch that blew a second hole in the
back of Glom’s gaping mouth. Jordan sprung a shield up between
himself and Nova’s attacks, but he was blind to Jedi Master #41’s
lightsaber until it emerged from his eye through his skull. Jedi
Master #33A stepped in against Hal’s killer while Nova turned his
attention to Jeer Dexton who was busy dismantling Sunstreaker.
Powerful as the Dark Jedi was among his peers, he was caught off
guard as Nova took him in both hands, spun him, and chucked him
beyond the planet’s orbit. Linus had found Mokey and anticipated
another unsuspecting victim. But Mokey was on edge with paranoia from
a combination of fright and excessive LSD consumption in her heyday,
and as Van Pelt approached from behind she spun around to stab him
manically in the shins before running off. As he bled out, he used
his dying breath to vow revenge against all Jim Henson abominations.
With the greater threats out of the picture, Beast moved in to
restrain Star Sapphire #5 as Chriselion split her with a light axe.
Hush did the same to assist his team’s Jedi Master against The
Midgets’ Jedi Master. Longshot tried desperately for a stroke of
luck, but Invincible poked out his glowing eye with a force that made
his head explode before any such luck would come. Sharkticon #37,
Mokey, and Vampire #100 shared an indignant look as their remaining
foes closed in around them…
Monday, February 3, 2014
FFL Royal Rumble Part 2!
Zack
Ryder grabbed A.C. Slater by his limp wrist and flipped him out of
the ring as easily as a used Kleenex. “Come on, broskis, was that
so hard? Dude was a vegetable.” As Slater talked trash to nobody in
particular, he failed to look behind him where The Ranger had entered
the ring. Cordell Walker set his eyes upon Ryder and a roundhouse
kick upon the back of his head. “Ow! You’re gonna f*ck up Ice Z’s
spikes bro!” Ryder shouted. He attempted to grapple Walker, but
years of Texas bar fight experience allowed him to evade Zack’s
grasp. The two continued this way for some time, but soon, Ryder
noticed a tell in the ranger’s facial hair. Before a dodge, his
mustache would stand on end; His famous Ranger Sense was tingling,
and Zack knew how to stop it. From God-Knows-Where, he produced a
bottle of styling gel and applied it liberally to Walker’s upper
lip. He fell to the floor, his motor control atrophied after so much
time being possessed by his beard. “I’m free,” Walker wheezed,
“but I’m a shell of a man now. Please, end my suffering before
the hair takes control again!” Before Walker could damage his
dignity any further, Zack lifted him above his head and threw him to
the lava waiting below. “I’m glad that’s over, Cowbros give me
weird feelings! Who’s next?!” Darko Millicec was tossed into the
ring and out of his element. Rather than face his foe head on, Darko
chose to use his superior agility to run around Ryder like a marine
around a cyberdemon, delivering punches when openings appeared. Being
somewhat smarter than the potato-powered AI of Doom, however, Ryder
thought to stop and extend a neck-level arm in Millicec’s path,
causing him to clothesline himself. As he hit the ground, Korvus
entered the ring. “I’ll make this quick, humans.” He assured
the athletes. “Like you did with your hair this morning?” Ryder
quipped. “Seriously sloppy br-.” Korvus bashed Ryder over the
head with the flat of the Phoenix Blade, cracking his head. Using the
sword like a spatula, he lifted the scrambled wrestler and disposed
of him over the edge of the arena before turning to Darko. He had
scurried to the corner in terror when Korvus arrived, and though he
was able to outrun Zack Ryder, he was no match for the speed of a
Shi’ar. Korvus ran to him and hoisted him over the ropes. Darko
said something in Serbian before being dropped, and though I have no
idea what it meant, it sounded like badass last words.
Things finally got
interesting when Death Adder Jr. arrived, and Korvus gladly accepted
the powerful challenger. The two fought fiercely, sparks flying from
their weapons with every parry. Death Adder Jr. fired lightning at
Korvus, stunning him briefly. Jr. raised his axe high for a swing,
but Korvus recovered and slashed his opponent’s wrist before
rolling aside. The immense power of the Blade of the Phoenix proved
too much for D.A.J., and his left hand was hanging loosely from his
bleeding forearm. Disabled but not defeated, he grasped his axe in
one hand and began blocking against Korvus’s continued assault
until Dexter Jettster entered the fray to lend him a hand or four.
The restaurateur ran behind Korvus and used two of those hands to
grab him by the head while the other two fists pummeled his kidneys.
Death Adder Jr. used the opportunity and rammed Korvus with the
shoulder of his damaged arm, knocking him over Jettster behind him.
Marlon Brando hopped in and approached Death Adder Jr. with raised
fists. “Come on, then, show me what you’ve got. Put down that axe
and fight like a man.” Death Adder Jr. complied and tossed his
weapon to the floor. He let Brando take a few shots for free before
clutching his wrist-stump in his right hand to bring down a double
axe handle on the actor’s head. Behind him, Korvus stood as
Jettster went for Death Adder Jr.’s axe. As he lifted the heavy
weapon in all four hands, Korvus grabbed him for a hip toss into
Jr.’s back. Furious, he resumed their battle with a rapid series of
lightning bursts that keep his foe still as he approached. With his
good hand, he delivered an uppercut that knocked Korvus over the
ropes and into the pit. He turned back in time to see Jettster spin
Brando above his head like a pizza and into his patented lava-oven as
a pink portal opened in the corner beside him. Blink stepped out and
took a quick look at the situation before bamf- I mean… blinking
away again. Jr. ignored what he saw in favor of taking his axe back
from Dexter. As he charged, a portal opened in front of him and an
arm reached out to grab his. On the other end he found himself
dangling above the lava pit, held by Blink who was now perched on the
ropes. Prepared to die, Death Adder Jr. electrocuted Blink, causing
her to lose her balance and go down with him.
Surprisingly not dead,
Dexter Jettster held his trophy axe close as Clone Trooper #51
arrived. Unarmed, he made his first priority to disarm his enemy and
even the playing field. Jettster finally had the chance to use the
weapon, but his poor combat experience left him clumsy and slow, and
#51 grabbed the axe by the hilt and yanked it from Dexter’s hands,
flinging it out of play. He attempted to sweep kick the Besalisk, but
his low center of gravity proved effective and he kicked the trooper
back hard. The Trooper was undoubtedly more skilled, but Jettster’s
four-armed brawn allowed him to hold his own. Eventually, however,
#51 broke Dexter’s guard and took him in a headlock. As they
struggled against each other, Peter Griffin arrived. “Whoa, sweet!
Am I in Star Wars? I wanna be Han Solo! Or Samuel L. Jackson!” The
two stopped momentarily, confused by the comment. “This is the
Royal Rumble. We’re fighting to toss each other into lava without
the benefit of becoming Darth Vader once we’re charred.” #51
explained. “Holy crap, you mean we’re gonna burn each other
alive?!” Peter shouted. “This is scarier than that time I got
terrorized by Al Qaeda at a wrestling match!” Summoned by Peter’s
control over cutaway gags, Al Qaeda Terrorist #8 appeared at the
center of the ring. “ALLAHU AKBAR!” he screamed. “Ohhh, is
Admiral Ackbar here too? Is this the trap?” Peter asked. “YOU
WILL GIVE US VICTORY OR WE WILL GIVE YOU DEATH!” The Terrorist
demanded. Peter knew he needed to buy some time before the situation
escalated out of control. “Jeez, this is a lot of pressure… like, uh... Oh, I got it! Kind
of like the time a terrorist threat got dumped on another Watcher!”
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Unlucky 13: Turrible Decisions Vs. Horsemen
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions are: Captain Universe, Phoenix Force Magik, The Serpent, Captain Atom, Kingdom Come Jade, Big Barda, Pre-Suit Vader, Clone Darth Maul, Nul merged with Beast Wars Megatron, Zombie Absorbing Man with Vampire cat powers, Iron Jedi(Immel clone Stark/Jedi #17), and Kister.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Taskmaster w/Indy's whip, Deathstroke w/Luke's Lightsaber, Exodus, High Evolutionary, Firestorm(Jason Rousch), White Lantern Sinestro, White Suit Anakin, Ce Ce Denowai w/Indigo Lantern ring, Springer w/Green Lantern ring, Slag w/Red Lantern ring, Black Hand, Smaug the Dragon, and Fry Guy #3.
"ADE!!! ... LADE!!! ... SLADE!!! C'mon man, get up! Even Logan's kid regenerates faster than this!" yells Taskmaster. "Oh no... Not again. I'm beginning to hate this stupid Gobot planet." lamments Deathstroke. "Please, just tell me that there's more left of our team alive than just you and me." pleads Deathstroke. "No such luck, pal. Just the two of us! What a team!" laughs Taskmaster. "F*ck... Why do I keep getting stuck with you?" questions Slade. "Whatever dude, you know I'm awesome. Admit it!" brags Taskmaster. "Dammit, just tell me what happened so I can win the match while you retreat again." demands Deathstroke. "Fine... So things started off great. Black Hand used the power of his Black Lantern Ring to possess Clone Maul, Iron Jedi, and Zombie Absorbing Man right off the rip!" explains Taskmaster. "Ok, the zombie I get, but the clones too? That's just stupid talk." counters Slade. "That's what I thought, but I figure since the clones are of people who died, it worked." theorises Taskmaster. "That's bullsh!t. Have you ever considered how stupid your theories are? I mean, do you even think about this stuff, or do you just make it up as you go?" asks Deathstroke. "Um, both? Anyway, live with it, bro. It happened. So the clones and the zombie take out Big Barda and KFC Jade before Phoenix Magik roasts 'em!" adds Taskmaster. "Ouch, down five people instantly? That's gotta hurt. But don't you mean KC Jade?" asks Slade. "I know what I says." Laughs Taskmaster. "So we know we have the advantage, and White Suit Anakin is all like "CHARGE!!!" and we send the house!" tells Taskmaster. "Except for you, I'm sure." chides Deathstroke. "Wrong again, Slade! I was all up in it! But with everyone running in like that, it kicked up a ton of dust, and this mask is kind of hard to breathe through to begin with.... so, I MIGHT have stopped to catch my wind for a minute." explains Taskmaster. "You suck." declares Slade. "At least I didn't get pimp slapped by a girl! That Magik chick knocked you the f*ck out almost immediately! Ha! But guess who happened to catch his breath just in time to drag you to safety?" asks Taskmaster. "Probably WL Sinestro." answers Slade. "... Lucky guess. But I was the one that hid with you to protect your unconcious @ss. Eventhough nobody found us, I'd still say you owe me one!" claims Taskmaster. "Oh, you'll get yours..." counters Deathstroke. "Sweet, we'll work out a payment plan later! But first, let me finish. So that's when things really ramped up! You got Captain Universe against WL Sinestro and Exodus! Phoenix Force Magik versus High Evolutionary and Black Hand! The Serpent and Smaug the Dragon are going at it, while Nul/BW Megatron takes on GL Springer and RL Slag! Both mascots are throwin down too! Even got a little Jedi action when Pre-Op Vader faced off with White Suit Anakin and Indigo Ce Ce Denowai!" adds Taskmaster. "Suit." interupts Deathstroke. "Huh?" asks Taskmaster. "Suit... It's Pre-SUIT Vader. Get it right, dumb@ss." advises Slade. "Whatever man, who's telling this story again? Oh yeah... me. So as I was saying, Pre-OP Vader fought our Force users" says Taskmaster. "Sounds like it was some pretty exciting stuff" comments Deathstroke. "Well, it would've been, but then BOOM!" says Taskmaster. "Boom?' asks Slade. "Big bada boom! You remember what I said about that Firestorm kid? About how he's basically a nuke? Well, those geniuses at the Barkley's decide to unleash their own unstable reactor, Captain Atom himself!" continues Taskmaster "Oooo... bad move." responds Slade. "Right? So naturally, the battle to see who accidentally explodes first is on! I'm not sure who went first, but it doesn't matter. One goes up and it's chain reaction time! Next thing you know, everyone's dusted except you and your loyal and soon to be well paid protector, namely me." concludes Taskmaster. "So... wait a minute... It's already over? I don't have to single-handedly win the match again?" questions a confused Deathstroke. "Done like dinner, homie!" laughs Taskmaster. "No kiddin... wow, that's pretty anti climactic..." states a disappointed Slade. "Not to mention uninspired... but, hey, at least we got to hang out some more, so that's pretty cool, right?" Adds Taskmaster. Slade Wilson tightens his grip on his handgun...
The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Taskmaster w/Indy's whip, Deathstroke w/Luke's Lightsaber, Exodus, High Evolutionary, Firestorm(Jason Rousch), White Lantern Sinestro, White Suit Anakin, Ce Ce Denowai w/Indigo Lantern ring, Springer w/Green Lantern ring, Slag w/Red Lantern ring, Black Hand, Smaug the Dragon, and Fry Guy #3.
"ADE!!! ... LADE!!! ... SLADE!!! C'mon man, get up! Even Logan's kid regenerates faster than this!" yells Taskmaster. "Oh no... Not again. I'm beginning to hate this stupid Gobot planet." lamments Deathstroke. "Please, just tell me that there's more left of our team alive than just you and me." pleads Deathstroke. "No such luck, pal. Just the two of us! What a team!" laughs Taskmaster. "F*ck... Why do I keep getting stuck with you?" questions Slade. "Whatever dude, you know I'm awesome. Admit it!" brags Taskmaster. "Dammit, just tell me what happened so I can win the match while you retreat again." demands Deathstroke. "Fine... So things started off great. Black Hand used the power of his Black Lantern Ring to possess Clone Maul, Iron Jedi, and Zombie Absorbing Man right off the rip!" explains Taskmaster. "Ok, the zombie I get, but the clones too? That's just stupid talk." counters Slade. "That's what I thought, but I figure since the clones are of people who died, it worked." theorises Taskmaster. "That's bullsh!t. Have you ever considered how stupid your theories are? I mean, do you even think about this stuff, or do you just make it up as you go?" asks Deathstroke. "Um, both? Anyway, live with it, bro. It happened. So the clones and the zombie take out Big Barda and KFC Jade before Phoenix Magik roasts 'em!" adds Taskmaster. "Ouch, down five people instantly? That's gotta hurt. But don't you mean KC Jade?" asks Slade. "I know what I says." Laughs Taskmaster. "So we know we have the advantage, and White Suit Anakin is all like "CHARGE!!!" and we send the house!" tells Taskmaster. "Except for you, I'm sure." chides Deathstroke. "Wrong again, Slade! I was all up in it! But with everyone running in like that, it kicked up a ton of dust, and this mask is kind of hard to breathe through to begin with.... so, I MIGHT have stopped to catch my wind for a minute." explains Taskmaster. "You suck." declares Slade. "At least I didn't get pimp slapped by a girl! That Magik chick knocked you the f*ck out almost immediately! Ha! But guess who happened to catch his breath just in time to drag you to safety?" asks Taskmaster. "Probably WL Sinestro." answers Slade. "... Lucky guess. But I was the one that hid with you to protect your unconcious @ss. Eventhough nobody found us, I'd still say you owe me one!" claims Taskmaster. "Oh, you'll get yours..." counters Deathstroke. "Sweet, we'll work out a payment plan later! But first, let me finish. So that's when things really ramped up! You got Captain Universe against WL Sinestro and Exodus! Phoenix Force Magik versus High Evolutionary and Black Hand! The Serpent and Smaug the Dragon are going at it, while Nul/BW Megatron takes on GL Springer and RL Slag! Both mascots are throwin down too! Even got a little Jedi action when Pre-Op Vader faced off with White Suit Anakin and Indigo Ce Ce Denowai!" adds Taskmaster. "Suit." interupts Deathstroke. "Huh?" asks Taskmaster. "Suit... It's Pre-SUIT Vader. Get it right, dumb@ss." advises Slade. "Whatever man, who's telling this story again? Oh yeah... me. So as I was saying, Pre-OP Vader fought our Force users" says Taskmaster. "Sounds like it was some pretty exciting stuff" comments Deathstroke. "Well, it would've been, but then BOOM!" says Taskmaster. "Boom?' asks Slade. "Big bada boom! You remember what I said about that Firestorm kid? About how he's basically a nuke? Well, those geniuses at the Barkley's decide to unleash their own unstable reactor, Captain Atom himself!" continues Taskmaster "Oooo... bad move." responds Slade. "Right? So naturally, the battle to see who accidentally explodes first is on! I'm not sure who went first, but it doesn't matter. One goes up and it's chain reaction time! Next thing you know, everyone's dusted except you and your loyal and soon to be well paid protector, namely me." concludes Taskmaster. "So... wait a minute... It's already over? I don't have to single-handedly win the match again?" questions a confused Deathstroke. "Done like dinner, homie!" laughs Taskmaster. "No kiddin... wow, that's pretty anti climactic..." states a disappointed Slade. "Not to mention uninspired... but, hey, at least we got to hang out some more, so that's pretty cool, right?" Adds Taskmaster. Slade Wilson tightens his grip on his handgun...
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
League Wide Vote
Hello my fellow team owners, a few members of the league have expressed concern that the current draft system could become problematic for league equality and fairness. As of right now, we will have a draft lottery like we have in the past, and this alone will decide the draft order, but considering that the teams that did best last year have more resurrection points than those that did not, I see where some may think that this tips the scales. In the spirit of full-disclosure and in consideration that my team would benefit from this proposal passing, I will acknowledge, that I have no problem with the current format and will be voting no on this proposal.
What is being proposed is that there will for this year only (if it passes, we will vote again in the future to see if this change shall remain) two separate draft lotteries. One for the teams that did make the play-offs, and one for the teams that did not. Then, the first pick through the eighth pick will be the eight teams that did not make the play-offs, and pick number nine through sixteen will be the teams that did make the play-offs. The lotteries will still decide what order the picks are made in.
Should this pass, we will hold another vote which will decide whether or not the draft will remain serpentine; but we can cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we just need one vote from each owner to decide this. Majority rules, a tie will result in no change from the current system.
As always, please feel free to vote right here on the message board or via text or email to myself or one of the other Vice-Commissioners. Also, if you so desire, please feel free to use this message board to make whatever comments you wish for or against this proposal.
What is being proposed is that there will for this year only (if it passes, we will vote again in the future to see if this change shall remain) two separate draft lotteries. One for the teams that did make the play-offs, and one for the teams that did not. Then, the first pick through the eighth pick will be the eight teams that did not make the play-offs, and pick number nine through sixteen will be the teams that did make the play-offs. The lotteries will still decide what order the picks are made in.
Should this pass, we will hold another vote which will decide whether or not the draft will remain serpentine; but we can cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we just need one vote from each owner to decide this. Majority rules, a tie will result in no change from the current system.
As always, please feel free to vote right here on the message board or via text or email to myself or one of the other Vice-Commissioners. Also, if you so desire, please feel free to use this message board to make whatever comments you wish for or against this proposal.
Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters
Laya's Squad is Ant Man, Nocturne, Armor, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Green Lantern (Alan Scott), Monarch, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Feral, Nightbird, Decepticon #4, The Lorax, Bendonner, and Reepicheep.
The Nut-busters Squad #1 are Capt. Wacky, Brood Alien #8, Ali Rayner-West, Dark Side Marauder #8, Droid Fighter Ship #20, Sharkticon #32, Sentinel #14, Green Dragon #10, and Smurf #3.
Well, it looks like Joshatu is like still on leave, so he has decided to put me in charge of writing his other round 2 match between The Super Kitties and Nut-busters. Evidently he was like totally wanting an old school MTV VJ; but since Kennedy's got her own show on Fox Business, Kurt Loader is everybody's favorite radio movie critic, Daisy Fuentes is on her way to being the next Kirstie Allie, and Jenny Mcarthy is busy not getting vaccinated he must have thought that I was totally the best girl for the job: JULIE BROWN!! NO NO NO SILLIES.... Not Downtown Julie Brown, the white Julie Brown, from Just Say Julie!!
What do you mean you don't remember that show!??! It was like totally righteous in the 80's and it is like totally relevant now!! Anyways... Let's do this like we did it back in the day on MTV!! And by that, I mean I am going to like totally contrive this match however I see fit, for the simple purpose of making a few music video and pre-grunge music references!! It's gonna be WAY BODACIOUS!!
Oh, here we go. That's Slash from Guns N' Roses playing the guitar riff on this Michael Jackson hit “Beat It”, so I am going to make Ant Man and Smurf #3 tie their wrists together and do a dance/knife fight. This is like soooooooo interesting. Oh, here comes my favorite part , where the King of Pop comes and breaks up the fight. …... ??What?? The King of Pop is dead?? Oh, that's probably why he didn't stop Ant Man from stabbing that poor smurf to death..... Gaaaa-ross. Next I'm going to play that Cher video from “Mermaids” It's like totally in his kiss is what Nightbird the female assassin robot from one episode of Transformers is thinking when she falls madly in love with the mutant hunting robot Sentinel #14. The two massive robots start sucking face and then they decide to NOT get married; but still move in together and live in sin... What?? People don't use that term anymore?? Hmmm, the 21st century is like soooooo weird. Well, anyways; Nightbird and the sentinel fall madly in love thanks to Cher and invite over like a bunch of their friends to their new crib. I mean like Monarch, Tsavong Lah, Armor, Green Dragon #10, Brood Alien #8, and even Nightbird's totally sloppy ex-boyfriend Sharkticon #32 decides to stop by; but then the Cher song ends and I play my favorite punk song, that is totally not punk; but not yet considered alternative, “Burning Down the House” by The Talking Heads (I totally know David Byrne will be friends with them 4-ever). Soooooo, like the whole band shows up and there are a bunch of crappy special effects, and everybody in the house like totally dies in the fire, and I'm like OMIGOD, that is sooooooo sad. That is probably what is going to happen to Madonna once God finds out how much of a whore she is. Which reminds me, I should totally play “Papa Don't Preach”. As the video starts, Alan Scott is so depressed to find out that his son, the mythical giant Bendonner has fallen in love with Dark Side Marauder #8 and that the two of them are going to come out of the closet together and raise their baby The Lorax. Alan Scott is bummed about the social embarrassment of having a gay son; but the two homosexuals decide that they don't care what society says and they do it anyway. Unfortunately, right when dear ol' dad, Alan Scott starts to come around to the idea, the gay couple and their baby in true 80's fashion all die of Aids. Next on the playlist is Aerosmith. And I gotta tell you people, this time around Ali's got a gun. Tell me now it's untrue, it's Ali's last I.O.U.uuuuuuuuu Who. SHE HAD TO TAKE HIM DOWN EASY AND PUT a green energy bullet IN Hawkman's HEADDDDDDDD. But what is unfortunate for Ali, is that she got a really crappy public defender after she killed Hawkman which ended up getting her the gas chamber (remember the gas chamber everybody, cuz we still do that in the 80's). Aerosmith is done, but before I can even press play on the Peter Gabriel tape, Feral picks up a Nightbrother “SLEDGEHAMMER”!!!! And totally wrecks The Droid Fighter Ship. We will then wrap up the 80s, and this total nonsense with the Guns N' Roses Illusions trilogy of November Rain, Estranged, and Don't Cry. Which in essence will just be a naked Capt. Wacky (Jared Pilkinton) sad and brooding in creepy and somewhat grotesque ways after his untimely death at the hands of Nocturne. So long to the one person that actually read this Challenger Explosion size piece of horse vomit, and see ya all in another twenty years!!
The Nut-busters Squad #1 are Capt. Wacky, Brood Alien #8, Ali Rayner-West, Dark Side Marauder #8, Droid Fighter Ship #20, Sharkticon #32, Sentinel #14, Green Dragon #10, and Smurf #3.
Well, it looks like Joshatu is like still on leave, so he has decided to put me in charge of writing his other round 2 match between The Super Kitties and Nut-busters. Evidently he was like totally wanting an old school MTV VJ; but since Kennedy's got her own show on Fox Business, Kurt Loader is everybody's favorite radio movie critic, Daisy Fuentes is on her way to being the next Kirstie Allie, and Jenny Mcarthy is busy not getting vaccinated he must have thought that I was totally the best girl for the job: JULIE BROWN!! NO NO NO SILLIES.... Not Downtown Julie Brown, the white Julie Brown, from Just Say Julie!!
What do you mean you don't remember that show!??! It was like totally righteous in the 80's and it is like totally relevant now!! Anyways... Let's do this like we did it back in the day on MTV!! And by that, I mean I am going to like totally contrive this match however I see fit, for the simple purpose of making a few music video and pre-grunge music references!! It's gonna be WAY BODACIOUS!!
Oh, here we go. That's Slash from Guns N' Roses playing the guitar riff on this Michael Jackson hit “Beat It”, so I am going to make Ant Man and Smurf #3 tie their wrists together and do a dance/knife fight. This is like soooooooo interesting. Oh, here comes my favorite part , where the King of Pop comes and breaks up the fight. …... ??What?? The King of Pop is dead?? Oh, that's probably why he didn't stop Ant Man from stabbing that poor smurf to death..... Gaaaa-ross. Next I'm going to play that Cher video from “Mermaids” It's like totally in his kiss is what Nightbird the female assassin robot from one episode of Transformers is thinking when she falls madly in love with the mutant hunting robot Sentinel #14. The two massive robots start sucking face and then they decide to NOT get married; but still move in together and live in sin... What?? People don't use that term anymore?? Hmmm, the 21st century is like soooooo weird. Well, anyways; Nightbird and the sentinel fall madly in love thanks to Cher and invite over like a bunch of their friends to their new crib. I mean like Monarch, Tsavong Lah, Armor, Green Dragon #10, Brood Alien #8, and even Nightbird's totally sloppy ex-boyfriend Sharkticon #32 decides to stop by; but then the Cher song ends and I play my favorite punk song, that is totally not punk; but not yet considered alternative, “Burning Down the House” by The Talking Heads (I totally know David Byrne will be friends with them 4-ever). Soooooo, like the whole band shows up and there are a bunch of crappy special effects, and everybody in the house like totally dies in the fire, and I'm like OMIGOD, that is sooooooo sad. That is probably what is going to happen to Madonna once God finds out how much of a whore she is. Which reminds me, I should totally play “Papa Don't Preach”. As the video starts, Alan Scott is so depressed to find out that his son, the mythical giant Bendonner has fallen in love with Dark Side Marauder #8 and that the two of them are going to come out of the closet together and raise their baby The Lorax. Alan Scott is bummed about the social embarrassment of having a gay son; but the two homosexuals decide that they don't care what society says and they do it anyway. Unfortunately, right when dear ol' dad, Alan Scott starts to come around to the idea, the gay couple and their baby in true 80's fashion all die of Aids. Next on the playlist is Aerosmith. And I gotta tell you people, this time around Ali's got a gun. Tell me now it's untrue, it's Ali's last I.O.U.uuuuuuuuu Who. SHE HAD TO TAKE HIM DOWN EASY AND PUT a green energy bullet IN Hawkman's HEADDDDDDDD. But what is unfortunate for Ali, is that she got a really crappy public defender after she killed Hawkman which ended up getting her the gas chamber (remember the gas chamber everybody, cuz we still do that in the 80's). Aerosmith is done, but before I can even press play on the Peter Gabriel tape, Feral picks up a Nightbrother “SLEDGEHAMMER”!!!! And totally wrecks The Droid Fighter Ship. We will then wrap up the 80s, and this total nonsense with the Guns N' Roses Illusions trilogy of November Rain, Estranged, and Don't Cry. Which in essence will just be a naked Capt. Wacky (Jared Pilkinton) sad and brooding in creepy and somewhat grotesque ways after his untimely death at the hands of Nocturne. So long to the one person that actually read this Challenger Explosion size piece of horse vomit, and see ya all in another twenty years!!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters
Alex's Squad is Ant Man II, Warpath, M.O.D.O.T., (Kingdom Come) Robotman, Bedovian, Ravager, Heavy, Stass Allie, Wheeljack, Decepticon #5, The Cowardly Lion, Finn McCool, and Aunt May.
The Nut-busters Squad #2 Pepper Potts, Zimm (w/ a green lightsaber), Brood Alien #7, Droid Fighter Ship #19, Sharkticon #31, Sentinel #13, White Dragon #12, and Little Goomba #20.
Good day my friends. As it were, your king Joshatu the Tyrannical has taken a leave of absence to pursue his fellow watcher and moronic clone The Neon Master Pogo back to whatever vacation spot he is attempting to waste his life away at. Apparently your watcher has decided to fore-go his responsibilities to the league in favor of walloping said junior watcher. In his stead he has forcibly snatched me out of your history and laid his duties upon my person. Therefore, I will answer this duty with a truly memorable match of note.
Oh my! Where are my manners? It has come to my attention that I have failed to identify myself. My reputation may precede myself in some circles as the founder of Virginia University, the author of The Declaration of Independence, our great nation's first Secretary of State, Vice President to my dear friend John Adams, and the Third President of These United States... Thomas Jefferson.
Here is how the match shall be told...
“When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for two teams consisting of mythical and non-sensical characters of many types to dissolve the political bands which has left them both remaining in this tournament and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of the tournament's nature and that nature's God entitle them a decent respect to the opinions of me, requires that they should declare the causes which impel one of the team's deaths.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that these two teams are not created equal, that one of them must not leave this match alive, and that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are winning the match, losing the match, or dying in it.-- That to secure these rights watchers are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the team owners. That whenever any form of Dark Side Marauder or Droid Fighter Ship becomes destructive of these ends that it is the right of Transformers to abolish these characters. And to institute a yellow lantern to destroying the foundations of a sentinel and goomba alike. With principle, the power of Alexandra DeWitt was organized in such form as to Ravager, M.O.D.O.T., and Heavy whose prudent death effected their safety and happiness. Warpath, indeed shall dictate that Brood Aliens and White Dragons long established should be killed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that Zimm is more disposed to suffer while Stass Allie's lightsaber is in his chest than to right themselves by killing more than The Cowardly Lion and Finn McCool with Stark Tech that they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object envinces a design to absolutely reduce a Decepticon (#5), it is their right, their duty to throw off such Sharkticon, and to provide new guards for their security against DeWitt and Potts once Aunt May is dead. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Super Kitties; and such is now the necessity that which constrains them to alter their former system of game plan. The history of The present Nut-busters is a repeated history of injuries, usurpations, and losses, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute loss in this match. To prove this, let this fact be submitted to a candid world...
The Nut-busters Squad #2 Pepper Potts, Zimm (w/ a green lightsaber), Brood Alien #7, Droid Fighter Ship #19, Sharkticon #31, Sentinel #13, White Dragon #12, and Little Goomba #20.
Good day my friends. As it were, your king Joshatu the Tyrannical has taken a leave of absence to pursue his fellow watcher and moronic clone The Neon Master Pogo back to whatever vacation spot he is attempting to waste his life away at. Apparently your watcher has decided to fore-go his responsibilities to the league in favor of walloping said junior watcher. In his stead he has forcibly snatched me out of your history and laid his duties upon my person. Therefore, I will answer this duty with a truly memorable match of note.
Oh my! Where are my manners? It has come to my attention that I have failed to identify myself. My reputation may precede myself in some circles as the founder of Virginia University, the author of The Declaration of Independence, our great nation's first Secretary of State, Vice President to my dear friend John Adams, and the Third President of These United States... Thomas Jefferson.
Here is how the match shall be told...
“When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for two teams consisting of mythical and non-sensical characters of many types to dissolve the political bands which has left them both remaining in this tournament and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of the tournament's nature and that nature's God entitle them a decent respect to the opinions of me, requires that they should declare the causes which impel one of the team's deaths.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that these two teams are not created equal, that one of them must not leave this match alive, and that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are winning the match, losing the match, or dying in it.-- That to secure these rights watchers are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the team owners. That whenever any form of Dark Side Marauder or Droid Fighter Ship becomes destructive of these ends that it is the right of Transformers to abolish these characters. And to institute a yellow lantern to destroying the foundations of a sentinel and goomba alike. With principle, the power of Alexandra DeWitt was organized in such form as to Ravager, M.O.D.O.T., and Heavy whose prudent death effected their safety and happiness. Warpath, indeed shall dictate that Brood Aliens and White Dragons long established should be killed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that Zimm is more disposed to suffer while Stass Allie's lightsaber is in his chest than to right themselves by killing more than The Cowardly Lion and Finn McCool with Stark Tech that they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object envinces a design to absolutely reduce a Decepticon (#5), it is their right, their duty to throw off such Sharkticon, and to provide new guards for their security against DeWitt and Potts once Aunt May is dead. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Super Kitties; and such is now the necessity that which constrains them to alter their former system of game plan. The history of The present Nut-busters is a repeated history of injuries, usurpations, and losses, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute loss in this match. To prove this, let this fact be submitted to a candid world...
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Unlucky 13 Round 2
The winners of Round 1 will all recieve an additional 5 Resurrection Points, and a Fiat CR.42.
The match-ups for Round 2 are...
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Alex's Squad) Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Squad #2)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets (Squad #2) Vs. The Royal Highness
-Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Laya's Squad) Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Squad #3)
The winners of Round 2 will recieve 7 Resurrection Points and a Bell P-63 KingCobra.
Good Luck to all!!
The match-ups for Round 2 are...
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Alex's Squad) Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Squad #2)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets (Squad #2) Vs. The Royal Highness
-Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Laya's Squad) Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Squad #3)
The winners of Round 2 will recieve 7 Resurrection Points and a Bell P-63 KingCobra.
Good Luck to all!!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Unlucky 13: Turrible Decisions Vs. Midgets
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions(Squad #2) are: Black Widow, Magma, Shaki merged w/Shao Khan, Kingdom Come Blue Beetle, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Bizarro Supergirl, Losho Yik, Mara Jade, Cliff Jumper, Junkeon #7, and Treasure Troll #20.
The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets(Squad#2) are: Glom, Longshot, Toad, Blue and Green Lantern Hal Jordan, Star Saphirre #5, Eclipso, Jeer Dextron, Jedi Master #33A, Sharkticon #37, Vampire #100, Stratos, and Mokey.
"Sigh, I guess I'm just not feeling this one." mutters Longshot to himself as he wanders Gobotron aimlessly. He isn't paying attention and walks between the lightsaber duel of Losho Yik and Jeer Dextron. He is miraculously unharmed, although the two Force users are not as lucky and simultaneously run each other through. He looks around and sees Mara Jade cut down Jedi Master #33A in the distance. She quickly runs to aid Cliff Jumper against Sharkticon #37, the latter of whom had just finished consuming Junkeon #7. Cliff Jumper shoots Sharkticon #37 with his glass gas gun, and Mara Jade shatters the now brittle Decepticon with a single blow. "Take that Decepti-creep! Thanks lady!" says Cliff Jumper. They head to what seems to be the main event raging not too far away. This battle features Skadi merged with Shao Khan, KFC Blue Beetle, and Magma versus Eclipso, Toad, Glom, Star Saphirre #5, and Vampire #100. The mascots wisely decide to stay back and cheer on their respective teams from a distance. A shot rings out and Toad's head explodes, courtesy of a high caliber bullet fired by a hidden, sniping Black Widow. The giant headed Glom has finished off eating the energy rich form of Magma, and now is drawn to Shao Khan's hammer. Glom imbibes a good amount of power, but then feels odd due to the conflicting energies within him. Another expert shot from Black Widow takes him out, and his oversaturated body explodes, taking KFC Blue Beetle and Vampire #100 with him. Cliff Jumper and Mara Jade finally reach the battle. Eclipso begins to laugh. "Your friends can't help you now! Your only chance against me was your hammer being at full power, which is no longer the case!" sneers Eclipso. The Star Saphirre #5 uses the power of her ring to hold the... Barkleys(?)... Decisions(?)... um... Turribles(?)... eh, screw it. Eclipso blasts them all with his gem and they are toast.
A still moping Longshot has choosen to sit on the battlefield. The mutant is unscathed as metal rains down from above by a destroyed Stratos, due to it's literal run-in with Bizarro Supergirl. Blue/Green Lantern Hal Jordan spots Longshot, and the hope filled warrior decides to hang out. "Beautiful day, eh Longshot?" asks Hal. "Meh, I suppose... I think it's this planet. It such a cheap knock off, and I'm starting to wonder about what we do..." he trails off, lost in thought. "Cheer up pal! Things always turn out! Take me for instance. wasn't getting a whole lot done, then BAM! I see a Red Lantern and it's on! Took him out with a lil blue energy and he's done! I think he said his name was Jeff Homeearther or something like that. Don't worry, you'll get your chance to shine!" encourages Hal. "I think you mean Houslander, not Homeearther. Bad move dude. You know that guy's related to our owner, right?" asks Longshot. Before B/G Lantern Hal can consider the consequences of his kill, Bizarro Supergirl flies to the pair of Midgets. "Bizarro friends." says Bizarro Supergirl. As he is unaware of the nature of Bizarro-speak, B/G Lantern Hal takes it as a compliment. "Awwww, thanks Kara! That's awfully sweet of you! I know I shouldn't do this, but since we're friends, I'll gladly clear up that nasty infection on your face. But keep it to yourself, people might not like different teams getting together like this!" says B/G Hal. He attempts to use the healing power of his blue ring, but instead the ring destroys Bizarro Supergirl. "Um, that wasn't supposed to happen... Sorry Kara..." laments B/G Hal. Dammit! It's always the same. Fighting and dying... so pointless... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" yells Longshot as he angrily throws one of his knives into the air randomly. "Hey man, it's not so bad. Sure, fighting and dying can be kind of a bummer, but is it really that different from what people do in everyday life? At least we're guaranteed to have some awesome adventures along the way! Trust me Longshot, all will be well!" encourages B/G Hal.
KA-POW!!!
The shot rings out from Black Widow's rifle and B/G Hal doesn't have a chance. "Do suidaniya, you womanizing dog." comments Natasha Romanov to herself as she reloads. "Now for you comrade Longshot." she says as his head is almost in her sights. Just then, Longshot's previously thrown knife lands in the Widow's spine, making her jerk her rifle and improbably snipe Treasure Troll #20. The nearby Fraggle Mokey is spooked by the shot, and she runs frantically until she accidentally trips and falls into a pit. Longshot is amazed by the unlikely chain of events and a small smile rises to his lips. "Ok, maybe things like that make it worth it." he says to himself grinning.
The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets(Squad#2) are: Glom, Longshot, Toad, Blue and Green Lantern Hal Jordan, Star Saphirre #5, Eclipso, Jeer Dextron, Jedi Master #33A, Sharkticon #37, Vampire #100, Stratos, and Mokey.
"Sigh, I guess I'm just not feeling this one." mutters Longshot to himself as he wanders Gobotron aimlessly. He isn't paying attention and walks between the lightsaber duel of Losho Yik and Jeer Dextron. He is miraculously unharmed, although the two Force users are not as lucky and simultaneously run each other through. He looks around and sees Mara Jade cut down Jedi Master #33A in the distance. She quickly runs to aid Cliff Jumper against Sharkticon #37, the latter of whom had just finished consuming Junkeon #7. Cliff Jumper shoots Sharkticon #37 with his glass gas gun, and Mara Jade shatters the now brittle Decepticon with a single blow. "Take that Decepti-creep! Thanks lady!" says Cliff Jumper. They head to what seems to be the main event raging not too far away. This battle features Skadi merged with Shao Khan, KFC Blue Beetle, and Magma versus Eclipso, Toad, Glom, Star Saphirre #5, and Vampire #100. The mascots wisely decide to stay back and cheer on their respective teams from a distance. A shot rings out and Toad's head explodes, courtesy of a high caliber bullet fired by a hidden, sniping Black Widow. The giant headed Glom has finished off eating the energy rich form of Magma, and now is drawn to Shao Khan's hammer. Glom imbibes a good amount of power, but then feels odd due to the conflicting energies within him. Another expert shot from Black Widow takes him out, and his oversaturated body explodes, taking KFC Blue Beetle and Vampire #100 with him. Cliff Jumper and Mara Jade finally reach the battle. Eclipso begins to laugh. "Your friends can't help you now! Your only chance against me was your hammer being at full power, which is no longer the case!" sneers Eclipso. The Star Saphirre #5 uses the power of her ring to hold the... Barkleys(?)... Decisions(?)... um... Turribles(?)... eh, screw it. Eclipso blasts them all with his gem and they are toast.
A still moping Longshot has choosen to sit on the battlefield. The mutant is unscathed as metal rains down from above by a destroyed Stratos, due to it's literal run-in with Bizarro Supergirl. Blue/Green Lantern Hal Jordan spots Longshot, and the hope filled warrior decides to hang out. "Beautiful day, eh Longshot?" asks Hal. "Meh, I suppose... I think it's this planet. It such a cheap knock off, and I'm starting to wonder about what we do..." he trails off, lost in thought. "Cheer up pal! Things always turn out! Take me for instance. wasn't getting a whole lot done, then BAM! I see a Red Lantern and it's on! Took him out with a lil blue energy and he's done! I think he said his name was Jeff Homeearther or something like that. Don't worry, you'll get your chance to shine!" encourages Hal. "I think you mean Houslander, not Homeearther. Bad move dude. You know that guy's related to our owner, right?" asks Longshot. Before B/G Lantern Hal can consider the consequences of his kill, Bizarro Supergirl flies to the pair of Midgets. "Bizarro friends." says Bizarro Supergirl. As he is unaware of the nature of Bizarro-speak, B/G Lantern Hal takes it as a compliment. "Awwww, thanks Kara! That's awfully sweet of you! I know I shouldn't do this, but since we're friends, I'll gladly clear up that nasty infection on your face. But keep it to yourself, people might not like different teams getting together like this!" says B/G Hal. He attempts to use the healing power of his blue ring, but instead the ring destroys Bizarro Supergirl. "Um, that wasn't supposed to happen... Sorry Kara..." laments B/G Hal. Dammit! It's always the same. Fighting and dying... so pointless... IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" yells Longshot as he angrily throws one of his knives into the air randomly. "Hey man, it's not so bad. Sure, fighting and dying can be kind of a bummer, but is it really that different from what people do in everyday life? At least we're guaranteed to have some awesome adventures along the way! Trust me Longshot, all will be well!" encourages B/G Hal.
KA-POW!!!
The shot rings out from Black Widow's rifle and B/G Hal doesn't have a chance. "Do suidaniya, you womanizing dog." comments Natasha Romanov to herself as she reloads. "Now for you comrade Longshot." she says as his head is almost in her sights. Just then, Longshot's previously thrown knife lands in the Widow's spine, making her jerk her rifle and improbably snipe Treasure Troll #20. The nearby Fraggle Mokey is spooked by the shot, and she runs frantically until she accidentally trips and falls into a pit. Longshot is amazed by the unlikely chain of events and a small smile rises to his lips. "Ok, maybe things like that make it worth it." he says to himself grinning.
Unlucky 13: The Traveling Sisterhood of Midgets vs. Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family
"The True Midgets" are: Wasp, Widdle Wade (w/ magnoguard staff), Arsenal, G' Kd, Ras Al Ghul, Nog, Bultar Swan, Wheelie, Mouse Voltron, Black Lantern Ryan Poteracki, Sgt. "Scout" Masterson, Teek.
"Laya's Team" is: Ant Man, Nocturne, Armor, (Kingdom Come) Hawkman, (Kingdom Come) Alan Scott, Monarch, Warmaster Tsavong Lah, Feral, Nightbird, Decepticon #4, The Lorax, Bendonner, and Reepicheep (The swashbuckling mouse from the Narnia movies).
The Midgets and The Super Orange Kitties and Cats were sharing a few uncanny coincidences, as though an unseen force was guiding them for the sake of the plot. Both squads were searching a long-abandoned Gobot machine shop for resources. Tailored to their cyborg needs, the facility was an eerie combination of hospital and garage, with urban decay amplifying the disturbing nature. In time, the teams found their way to a pair of enormous security doors on opposite ends of the basement, separated by the room between them. Despite having lightsabers, Lantern rings, and a giant Scotsman, neither team could break through. If there was one thing the Guardian Gobots knew, it was how to guard things. Both groups came to the same conclusion: the smallest member of their squad would have to navigate the narrow ventilation ducts and find a way to open the doors from inside. Ant Man set off first, with Wasp coming from the other side a short time after. As they neared their destination, they heard each other's tiny footsteps echo through the metal tunnels. "Who's there?" Ant Man called nervously. "I'm warning you, I'm very big for my size!"
"...Hank, we both know that's not true."
"Janet! Thank god, I was worried you were another hallucination. You're not, right?"
"If only. Where are you? I can hardly see in here, for all I know I'm walking in circles."
"Just follow my voice, I think I finally see an exit!" Ant Man made his way down the duct and found a vent to slip through. He searched the room and quickly found a power switch, and generators in the room sputtered back to life after years of disuse. The room lit up, and at its center an operating table covered in mechanical apparatuses rose from the ground. Unfortunately, as the lights started up, so did the fans. A powerful current gusted through the ducts, catching Wasp by the wings and sucking her in to the heavy-duty exhaust fan. "Hello? Right this way. You almost here Janet?" Ant Man shouted into the vent, unaware of his victory. "Huh... guess she really was a hallucination after all." He turned his attention back to the room and noticed that either wall without a reinforced door was covered in control panels and compartments of some kind, which he operated and unlocked easily. The contents fascinated him: Half-assembled Gobots held in stasis, incomplete masses of flesh and machinery. If there was one thing the Guardian Gobots knew, it was how to create twisted abominations out of people and household appliances. Pym also dabbled in creating horrible robots from time to time, and the urge overwhelmed him. He pulled a specimen to the operating table and began his experiment.
The teams outside the doors grew impatient as time passed. Just when it seemed they would have to abandon their posts, the tremendous barricades began sliding open in layers of doors. As the last pair of doors opened, Ant Man's new creation was revealed. Bits and pieces of Gobot limbs and torsos were patched together to create a giant cyborg ant, and Ant Man sat atop it like a horse. "Isn't it amazing?" he called to his team. "I haven't settled on a name. I'm thinking 'Pym-Mobile'." He flipped a switch on the back of the Ant-Bot's head and it powered up. Immediately, the creature began screeching in horror at its own existence and thrashing violently. "Who could have seen this coming?" Ant Man cried. "I'm usually so good at these things!" It bucked Ant Man from its back and sent him crashing into the opposing crowd, where he was shot in the head by Arsenal. The ant, however, was still rampaging against life itself and trampled Nog, Teek, and Sgt. Masterson. The conflict erupted and both teams converged to fight in the now open Gobot maternity ward. Black Lantern Ryan shot a chainsaw from his ring and cut down The Lorax, and Alan Scott stepped forward to challenge the Black Lantern. Ryan tried to cut through the aging Lantern's armor, but his experience made him far too powerful and he bashed Ryan's undead head in with a green light morning star. Across the room, the rampaging ant monster had Widdle Wade in its arm-mandible's grip and was beginning to crush his rib cage. W.W. defiantly began to ram his Electrostaff into the ant's forehead until it cracked his exoskeleton, jamming it in a fleshy bit. Knowing he would die from his injury, Wade stopped the beast for good with a deadly electrical burst from his staff, giving himself an honorable death in the process.
Armor was having a considerably less honorable death as Gk'd shattered her shield and sternum, in that order, with a projected drill. Before he could celebrate his own validity as a corpsman, he was skewered by Hawkman's spear. He flung the Lantern off and turned to Ra's al Ghul, sensing his power. As their battle raged, a smaller battle raged at their feet. The pilots of Mouse Voltron chased Reepicheep across the room, enjoying the cat-like predatory sensation for a change. Once they tired of their game, they effortlessly finished the Narnian with a homing missile before stopping by Wheelie. The Autobot was firing his slingshot at Bendonner in the best biblical homage he could manage; however, Bendonner was a mighty Scotsman, and he shrugged off the shots before crushing Wheelie and Mouse Voltron with a powerful stomp. Feral and Tsavong Lah teamed up against Butlar Swan, who was having trouble multitasking the skilled foes. In desperation, she rammed her lightsaber through Feral, leaving herself open to a decapitation from Tsavong Lah. The battle between Ra's and Hawkman's drew to an end as the immortal's patient focus gave him the upper hand in the commotion. He flung the blood from his blade and saw that his forces had been thinned considerably. He joined Arsenal for a final stand and drew the attention of the enemy. Arsenal used the diversion to quickly fling adhesive explosives to the backs of Decepticon #4 and Monarch before detonating them remotely. Forgetting the golden rule that cool guys don't look back at explosions, Arsenal was distracted long enough for Nightbird to smack him into the air with her nunchaku, breaking his spine in half. Beyond hope, Ra's turned to face his fate, knowing it would never be final. The Demon's Head always grows back.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Waiver Wire Squad
Griswold's Nut-busters (Squad #2) are Pepper Potts (w/ rescue armor), Zimm (w/ green lightsaber), Brood Alien #7, Alexandra Dewitt, Dark Side Marauder #7, Droid Fighter Ship #19, Sharkticon #31, Sentinel #13, White Dragon #12, amd Little Goomba #20.
The Waiver Wire Squad is Kree Soldier #7, King Tut, Jedi Master #1A, Jedi Master #2A, Go-bot #1, Go-bot #2, Elmo, Zombie #2, Death Adder Jr. and Ewok Child #1.
Hi everybody, I'm not sure how I got here, but I'm your host for today's match, Pat Benatar!! Remember me, from the 80'?? I was HOTT back then; which basically makes me like 5 beers out, kinda bone-able nowadays. But anyways, these two STELLAR teams have both put up their dukes, now let's get down to it!! As this skirmish begins, White Dragon #12 shows me that love isn't the only battlefield, Gobotron is too, as he makes hell for Ewok Children by eating Ewok Child #1, and then uses its frost breath to take out Zombie #2. Oh, wait the dragon isn't done yet. You Better Run Elmo because the frost breath of that dragon just created the newest Christmas sensation “Shiver Me Elmo”, yeah, that muppet's dead now. Oh well, Suffer the Little Children again. But Death Adder Jr. gets some revenge for his waiver wire homeboys and chops the neck of the white dragon clean off “We Belong” in this league screams Death Adder's son from the beginner version of Golden Axe. King Tut takes his Precious Time squashing Little Goomba #20, While the two Go-bots take advantage of their home field by surprise attacking the All Fired Up Sharkticon and Sentinel and destroying their sparks. Alexandra Dewitt and The Droid Fighter Ship make an elusive run like Shadows of the Night to Live for Love by killing the two Go-bots (okay, I admit it, that one made no sense whatsoever). Pepper Potts flies in with her armor and blasts the Too Long a (Kree) Soldier (#7) to pieces. The Brood Alien, then eats King Tut and dies of over-eating stomach expansion... What a Heartbreaker. The two Jedi Masters kill the dark side marauder and then get ready to make their final stand; but are destroyed by the trio of DeWitt, Potts, and Zimm with his lightsaber. The last member of the waiver wire team, Death Adder Jr. blasts Zimm with his goofy balled up magic; but then Alexandra DeWitt uses her ring to channel the piece of s**t that is this match into an actual ball of feces which lands directly on the head of the 6' 6” Axe Wielder. The loser of this match is YOU for reading this entire flaming turd, and the winner is...
The Waiver Wire Squad is Kree Soldier #7, King Tut, Jedi Master #1A, Jedi Master #2A, Go-bot #1, Go-bot #2, Elmo, Zombie #2, Death Adder Jr. and Ewok Child #1.
Hi everybody, I'm not sure how I got here, but I'm your host for today's match, Pat Benatar!! Remember me, from the 80'?? I was HOTT back then; which basically makes me like 5 beers out, kinda bone-able nowadays. But anyways, these two STELLAR teams have both put up their dukes, now let's get down to it!! As this skirmish begins, White Dragon #12 shows me that love isn't the only battlefield, Gobotron is too, as he makes hell for Ewok Children by eating Ewok Child #1, and then uses its frost breath to take out Zombie #2. Oh, wait the dragon isn't done yet. You Better Run Elmo because the frost breath of that dragon just created the newest Christmas sensation “Shiver Me Elmo”, yeah, that muppet's dead now. Oh well, Suffer the Little Children again. But Death Adder Jr. gets some revenge for his waiver wire homeboys and chops the neck of the white dragon clean off “We Belong” in this league screams Death Adder's son from the beginner version of Golden Axe. King Tut takes his Precious Time squashing Little Goomba #20, While the two Go-bots take advantage of their home field by surprise attacking the All Fired Up Sharkticon and Sentinel and destroying their sparks. Alexandra Dewitt and The Droid Fighter Ship make an elusive run like Shadows of the Night to Live for Love by killing the two Go-bots (okay, I admit it, that one made no sense whatsoever). Pepper Potts flies in with her armor and blasts the Too Long a (Kree) Soldier (#7) to pieces. The Brood Alien, then eats King Tut and dies of over-eating stomach expansion... What a Heartbreaker. The two Jedi Masters kill the dark side marauder and then get ready to make their final stand; but are destroyed by the trio of DeWitt, Potts, and Zimm with his lightsaber. The last member of the waiver wire team, Death Adder Jr. blasts Zimm with his goofy balled up magic; but then Alexandra DeWitt uses her ring to channel the piece of s**t that is this match into an actual ball of feces which lands directly on the head of the 6' 6” Axe Wielder. The loser of this match is YOU for reading this entire flaming turd, and the winner is...
Unlucky 13: Horsemen vs. Midgets
The Horsemen of Apokolips are: Taskmaster w/Indy's whip, Exodus, High Evolutionary, Firestorm(Jason Rousch), White Lantern Sinestro, Deathstroke w/Luke's lightsaber, White suit Anakin, Ce Ce Denowi w/ Indigo Lantern ring, Springer w/Green Lantern ring, Slag w/Red Lantern Ring, Black Hand, Smaug the Dragon, and Fry Guy #3.
The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Black Knight(Age of Apocalypse), Cyclops, Azazel, Larvox, Deadshot, Pre Visla w/Darksaber and Mandalorian Armor, Oppo Rancisis, Twincast, Decible, Legout, Black Lantern Sinestro, Hermes, and Nick Nack.
"..... ADE!!! ..... LADE! ..... SLADE!!! GET UP!!! C'mon man, even Wade regenerates faster than this!" shouts Taskmaster. Deathstroke looks around to get his bearings. The carnage is enough to give even a seasoned killer like him pause, albeit a slight one. The Gobotron building he last remembers himself inside has been reduced to a single wall. Various pieces of metal litter the area, and the scent of death permeates everything. Bodies, brains and blood are strewn about, and Slade Wilson thinks that maybe he was better off remaining unconcious.
"What happened?' asks Deathstroke. "You took one helluva shot there, buddy! How much do you remember?" inquires Taskmaster. "Not much... my head is still ringing." replies Slade. "I'll fill you in the best I can, but we don't have a lot of time. We... we were doomed from the start. As soon as we got to this planet, everyone just started acting... weird." states Taskmaster. "Weird? Horsemen don't act weird. I thought we were better than that." counters Deathstroke. "That's what I thought too, but lo and behold... weird. Started with White Lantern Sinestro destroying The Black Hand's Black Lantern ring, then he brought the guy back to life. I'm sure he figured he was helping, but as soon as Black Hand came to, the guy freaks out and jumps off the nearest cliff!" explains Taskmaster. "I knew Hand was a little off, but damn." responds Slade. "Right? Then The High Evolutionary and Smaug the Dragon left together and never came back. I have a theory about that one, though!" waxes Taskmaster. "Not another one of your hair-brained theories. This should be good..." says Slade. "See, The Evolutionary was talking to Smaug about reaching the next level or something. So Smaug agrees and off they go. ...You ever hear of Wundagore Mountain?" asks Taskmaster. "No. Is there a point to this?" questions Deathstroke. "Check it out. Legend has it that a bunch of human/animal hybrids live up there, all made by The High Evolutionary. Dude... I think he f*cks animals..." claims Taskmaster. "So, I figure he put the dragon-man whammy on Smaug and tried to put the moves on him! Smaug ain't feeling it, so he kills The Evolutionary. Then takes a shame related dive off the same cliff the Black Hand jumped from!" concludes Taskmaster. "Sounds pretty hard to believe." says Slade. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's the best I could come up with. Anyway, that transforming chopper we had patrolling overhead starts firing everything it's got. The Midgets sent almost everyone on some kinda suicide run. A few stayed behind, but that's it. Next thing you know, our helicopter comes crashing through the ceiling and it's on like neckbone, brother! Between the lasers, lightsabers and Lantern rings, I couldn't see sh*t! I saw you get knocked out by some of the ceiling debris, so I followed suit and played dead." explains Taskmaster. "You're a disgrace." chides Deathstroke. "Hey, at least I'm still alive! Besides, there wasn't much I was going to do against giant robots and space cops and sh*t... Gimme a break, bro." says Taskmaster. "So the battle rages on, and toward the horizon they go. Next thing you know, that kid Firestorm blows up and KA-BOOSH! Everyone gets vaporized! Can you believe someone was actually stupid enough to kill him in a crowd? He's like a walking nuclear bomb! Frankly, I dont' even like being around him... he kinda freaks me out." adds Taskmaster. "So just to be clear, everyone else is dead?" asks Slade. "Yup, well... on our side, at least. So, here's the plan: We get the f*ck out of Dodge while we still have a chance." says Taskmaster. "Retreat? Are you out of your mind?!? No way. Don't you remember what he did to Green Ranger Tommy?" counters Deathstroke with a rare hint of sadness in his voice. "Relax Slade. I mean, it's the off-season. The punishment won't be that severe, right? assures Taskmaster. Deathstroke still isn't going for the escape plan and shakes his head. "Suit yourself. If you do wise up and decide to leave, watch out. I think Cyclops and Deadshot are having some kind of sniper competition." advises Taskmaster before he carefully makes his escape. There are a few tense minutes, but Deathstroke eventually hears the echo of the inevitable killshot.
"Heh. Got 'em. That's 2-1, Summers." says Deadshot. "This isn't a competition, Lawton." replies Cyclops. "Suuuure it's not." retorts Deadshot. Cyclops, Deadshot, Oppo Rancisis, and Nick Nack are hunkered down in a building not far from The Horsemens' now nearly destroyed base of operations. "Pretty ballsy sending almost everyone over there to attack. I like it." comments Deadshot. "It seemed like our only successful course of action. And when I was certain Oppo's Jedi battle meditation was working on them, I knew we had to strike hard." explains Cyclops. "Hell yeah, that battle meditation did the trick! Those guys seem like they dark impulses to begin with, but they reeeeeally started acting weird. I heard one of 'em even F*cked that dragon!" laughs Deadshot. "That's purely speculation." counters Cyclops. "Listen Cyke, I know Slade, and he's smart enough to figure out when he's screwed. He's not going anywhere. I say we send Nick Nack over there to give Wilson a chance to surrender. Otherwise we'll be here for weeks." suggests Deadshot. "When you put it like that, I suppose it could work. Worst case scenario, we'll still be ahead." ponders Cyclops. "Ok, Nick Nack, you know what to do." orders Summers. The dimunitive Bond villain nods and heads to the wall that Deathstroke is hidden behind. A long minute passes, and the silence is broken by shattering glass. The sword impaled corpse of Nick Nack lands in the Midgets building with a note attached. Deadshot looks at the note and smiles. "See Summers, I told you Slade's no fool. The note says "sure." reads Deadshot. "Lawton, you idiot. Unfold the note completely." says an observant Cyclops. "Oh..." says a slightly embarassed Deadshot. He reads the entire message in horror. "It says "No surrender...." mumbles a stunned Deadshot before the explosives attached to Nick Nack's corpse kills the remaining Midgets.
Deathstoke uses binoculars to make sure his prey is terminated, and is pleased with his results. He dials a number on his phone. "Hello. ... Yes, of course I get reception on Gobotron. ... Yes, of course I got the job done. I'm simply calling to let you know that I will be asking double my normal rate. ... I'm glad you see things my way. I'll have my invoice sent right away. Enjoy your evening." concludes Slade Wilson as he hangs up the phone.
The Traveling Sisterhood of Evil Midgets are: Black Knight(Age of Apocalypse), Cyclops, Azazel, Larvox, Deadshot, Pre Visla w/Darksaber and Mandalorian Armor, Oppo Rancisis, Twincast, Decible, Legout, Black Lantern Sinestro, Hermes, and Nick Nack.
"..... ADE!!! ..... LADE! ..... SLADE!!! GET UP!!! C'mon man, even Wade regenerates faster than this!" shouts Taskmaster. Deathstroke looks around to get his bearings. The carnage is enough to give even a seasoned killer like him pause, albeit a slight one. The Gobotron building he last remembers himself inside has been reduced to a single wall. Various pieces of metal litter the area, and the scent of death permeates everything. Bodies, brains and blood are strewn about, and Slade Wilson thinks that maybe he was better off remaining unconcious.
"What happened?' asks Deathstroke. "You took one helluva shot there, buddy! How much do you remember?" inquires Taskmaster. "Not much... my head is still ringing." replies Slade. "I'll fill you in the best I can, but we don't have a lot of time. We... we were doomed from the start. As soon as we got to this planet, everyone just started acting... weird." states Taskmaster. "Weird? Horsemen don't act weird. I thought we were better than that." counters Deathstroke. "That's what I thought too, but lo and behold... weird. Started with White Lantern Sinestro destroying The Black Hand's Black Lantern ring, then he brought the guy back to life. I'm sure he figured he was helping, but as soon as Black Hand came to, the guy freaks out and jumps off the nearest cliff!" explains Taskmaster. "I knew Hand was a little off, but damn." responds Slade. "Right? Then The High Evolutionary and Smaug the Dragon left together and never came back. I have a theory about that one, though!" waxes Taskmaster. "Not another one of your hair-brained theories. This should be good..." says Slade. "See, The Evolutionary was talking to Smaug about reaching the next level or something. So Smaug agrees and off they go. ...You ever hear of Wundagore Mountain?" asks Taskmaster. "No. Is there a point to this?" questions Deathstroke. "Check it out. Legend has it that a bunch of human/animal hybrids live up there, all made by The High Evolutionary. Dude... I think he f*cks animals..." claims Taskmaster. "So, I figure he put the dragon-man whammy on Smaug and tried to put the moves on him! Smaug ain't feeling it, so he kills The Evolutionary. Then takes a shame related dive off the same cliff the Black Hand jumped from!" concludes Taskmaster. "Sounds pretty hard to believe." says Slade. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's the best I could come up with. Anyway, that transforming chopper we had patrolling overhead starts firing everything it's got. The Midgets sent almost everyone on some kinda suicide run. A few stayed behind, but that's it. Next thing you know, our helicopter comes crashing through the ceiling and it's on like neckbone, brother! Between the lasers, lightsabers and Lantern rings, I couldn't see sh*t! I saw you get knocked out by some of the ceiling debris, so I followed suit and played dead." explains Taskmaster. "You're a disgrace." chides Deathstroke. "Hey, at least I'm still alive! Besides, there wasn't much I was going to do against giant robots and space cops and sh*t... Gimme a break, bro." says Taskmaster. "So the battle rages on, and toward the horizon they go. Next thing you know, that kid Firestorm blows up and KA-BOOSH! Everyone gets vaporized! Can you believe someone was actually stupid enough to kill him in a crowd? He's like a walking nuclear bomb! Frankly, I dont' even like being around him... he kinda freaks me out." adds Taskmaster. "So just to be clear, everyone else is dead?" asks Slade. "Yup, well... on our side, at least. So, here's the plan: We get the f*ck out of Dodge while we still have a chance." says Taskmaster. "Retreat? Are you out of your mind?!? No way. Don't you remember what he did to Green Ranger Tommy?" counters Deathstroke with a rare hint of sadness in his voice. "Relax Slade. I mean, it's the off-season. The punishment won't be that severe, right? assures Taskmaster. Deathstroke still isn't going for the escape plan and shakes his head. "Suit yourself. If you do wise up and decide to leave, watch out. I think Cyclops and Deadshot are having some kind of sniper competition." advises Taskmaster before he carefully makes his escape. There are a few tense minutes, but Deathstroke eventually hears the echo of the inevitable killshot.
"Heh. Got 'em. That's 2-1, Summers." says Deadshot. "This isn't a competition, Lawton." replies Cyclops. "Suuuure it's not." retorts Deadshot. Cyclops, Deadshot, Oppo Rancisis, and Nick Nack are hunkered down in a building not far from The Horsemens' now nearly destroyed base of operations. "Pretty ballsy sending almost everyone over there to attack. I like it." comments Deadshot. "It seemed like our only successful course of action. And when I was certain Oppo's Jedi battle meditation was working on them, I knew we had to strike hard." explains Cyclops. "Hell yeah, that battle meditation did the trick! Those guys seem like they dark impulses to begin with, but they reeeeeally started acting weird. I heard one of 'em even F*cked that dragon!" laughs Deadshot. "That's purely speculation." counters Cyclops. "Listen Cyke, I know Slade, and he's smart enough to figure out when he's screwed. He's not going anywhere. I say we send Nick Nack over there to give Wilson a chance to surrender. Otherwise we'll be here for weeks." suggests Deadshot. "When you put it like that, I suppose it could work. Worst case scenario, we'll still be ahead." ponders Cyclops. "Ok, Nick Nack, you know what to do." orders Summers. The dimunitive Bond villain nods and heads to the wall that Deathstroke is hidden behind. A long minute passes, and the silence is broken by shattering glass. The sword impaled corpse of Nick Nack lands in the Midgets building with a note attached. Deadshot looks at the note and smiles. "See Summers, I told you Slade's no fool. The note says "sure." reads Deadshot. "Lawton, you idiot. Unfold the note completely." says an observant Cyclops. "Oh..." says a slightly embarassed Deadshot. He reads the entire message in horror. "It says "No surrender...." mumbles a stunned Deadshot before the explosives attached to Nick Nack's corpse kills the remaining Midgets.
Deathstoke uses binoculars to make sure his prey is terminated, and is pleased with his results. He dials a number on his phone. "Hello. ... Yes, of course I get reception on Gobotron. ... Yes, of course I got the job done. I'm simply calling to let you know that I will be asking double my normal rate. ... I'm glad you see things my way. I'll have my invoice sent right away. Enjoy your evening." concludes Slade Wilson as he hangs up the phone.
The Season 7 Draft List
1. Any 4 Star Wars Characters, any 2 Star Wars Vehicles, and any 2 Star Wars Weapons.
2. Any 4 Marvel Characters, any 1 Marvel Vehicle, and any 1 Marvel Weapon.
3. Any 4 D.C. Characters, any 1 D.C. Vehicle, and any 1 D.C. Weapon.
4. 1 Star Wars Character, 1 Marvel Character, and 1 D.C. Character.
5. 3 Random Characters Marvel Grab Bag.
6. 3 Random Characters D.C. Grab Bag.
7. 3 Random Characters Star Wars Grab Bag.
8. 1 Black Lantern (from the Graveyard).
9. 1 Zombie (from the Graveyard).
10. 1 Vampire (from the Graveyard).
11. 1 Black Lantern, 1 Zombie, and 1 Vampire (from the graveyard).
12. The Shadow (25).
13. 50 Resurrection Points and 1 Retired Vehicle.
14. The Question (25).
15. 25 Resurrection Points.
16. Animal Man (30).
17. Sunfire (33).
18. Makileth the Acursed and Kurse (40 each, 72 for the pair).
19. Balder (39).
20. Uriel and Eimen (40 each, 72 for the pair).
21. The Green Goblin (Norman Osborne (32).
22. Justice League Dark: John Constantine, Black Orchid, Madame Xanadu, Pandora, Nightmare Nurse, and Zatanna (27 each, 70 for the team).
23. All 3 versions of Fantomex: Weapon XIII, Fantomex, and Cluster (30 each, 55 for Fantomex and Cluster together).
24. The Vampire Lestat (24).
25. Marvel Man, Marvel Woman, and Young Marvel Man (44, 40, 36, 100 for all 3).
26. Nova (Sam Alexander (35)).
27. The Lone Wolf (18).
28. The Aquabats: The M.C. Bat Commander, Crash McLarson, Jimmy the Robot, Ricky Fitness, Eagle “Bones” Falconhawk, Gumby, Nacho, and The Baron Von Tito (4, 13 for all).
29. Fakor (36).
30. Rasputin (6).
Auxiliary Draft (1 each will be taken with your off list pick).
1. Any 2 Vampires from the league (team owners).
2. Josh Houslander: Samurai Warrior.
3. Black Lantern Chris Seney.
4. Luchador Assassin Chris Seney, w/ his apprentice Jackson and El Barko.
5. Zombie Chris Seney.
6. BronyBecks (3).
7. Anus: The Touchable.
8. Detective Christian Walker and Detective Deena Pilgrim (7 each, 12 for pair).
9. Jesus and Nagan (7 each, 12 for pair).
10. Arnold Schwarzenegger
11. Build Your Own Character.
12. Build Your Own Team (up to 4 characters).
13. Dave Parks (6).
14. Jake and The Neverland Pirates w/ their new medic: Doc McStuffins.
15. Jarnborn
16. ICP: Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope (5 each, 8 for the duo).
Hiatus List: The following characters cannot be taken as off list characters in any variation for the next three seasons (except for a (very) few incarnations that have already been pre-approved for certain team owners (you know who you are)). This is not permanent, it is simply done by request of owners, who feel that the league is overrun with certain character incarnations (this does not pertain to their black lantern, zombie, or vampire incarnation if they have not already been selected (in most cases they have)). Here is the list...
-Hal Jordan
-Kyle Rayner
-Guy Gardner
-Sinestro
-Anakin Skywalker
-Superman
-Batman
-Leia Organa
-Luke Skywalker
-Cyclops
-Jean Grey
-Wolverine
-Darth Maul
-Gandalf
-Supergirl
-Nightwing
-Flamebird
-Superboy
-Deadpool
And, if anybody else can think of any other character that they think should be added to this list, than please let me know and they will be.
2. Any 4 Marvel Characters, any 1 Marvel Vehicle, and any 1 Marvel Weapon.
3. Any 4 D.C. Characters, any 1 D.C. Vehicle, and any 1 D.C. Weapon.
4. 1 Star Wars Character, 1 Marvel Character, and 1 D.C. Character.
5. 3 Random Characters Marvel Grab Bag.
6. 3 Random Characters D.C. Grab Bag.
7. 3 Random Characters Star Wars Grab Bag.
8. 1 Black Lantern (from the Graveyard).
9. 1 Zombie (from the Graveyard).
10. 1 Vampire (from the Graveyard).
11. 1 Black Lantern, 1 Zombie, and 1 Vampire (from the graveyard).
12. The Shadow (25).
13. 50 Resurrection Points and 1 Retired Vehicle.
14. The Question (25).
15. 25 Resurrection Points.
16. Animal Man (30).
17. Sunfire (33).
18. Makileth the Acursed and Kurse (40 each, 72 for the pair).
19. Balder (39).
20. Uriel and Eimen (40 each, 72 for the pair).
21. The Green Goblin (Norman Osborne (32).
22. Justice League Dark: John Constantine, Black Orchid, Madame Xanadu, Pandora, Nightmare Nurse, and Zatanna (27 each, 70 for the team).
23. All 3 versions of Fantomex: Weapon XIII, Fantomex, and Cluster (30 each, 55 for Fantomex and Cluster together).
24. The Vampire Lestat (24).
25. Marvel Man, Marvel Woman, and Young Marvel Man (44, 40, 36, 100 for all 3).
26. Nova (Sam Alexander (35)).
27. The Lone Wolf (18).
28. The Aquabats: The M.C. Bat Commander, Crash McLarson, Jimmy the Robot, Ricky Fitness, Eagle “Bones” Falconhawk, Gumby, Nacho, and The Baron Von Tito (4, 13 for all).
29. Fakor (36).
30. Rasputin (6).
Auxiliary Draft (1 each will be taken with your off list pick).
1. Any 2 Vampires from the league (team owners).
2. Josh Houslander: Samurai Warrior.
3. Black Lantern Chris Seney.
4. Luchador Assassin Chris Seney, w/ his apprentice Jackson and El Barko.
5. Zombie Chris Seney.
6. BronyBecks (3).
7. Anus: The Touchable.
8. Detective Christian Walker and Detective Deena Pilgrim (7 each, 12 for pair).
9. Jesus and Nagan (7 each, 12 for pair).
10. Arnold Schwarzenegger
11. Build Your Own Character.
12. Build Your Own Team (up to 4 characters).
13. Dave Parks (6).
14. Jake and The Neverland Pirates w/ their new medic: Doc McStuffins.
15. Jarnborn
16. ICP: Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope (5 each, 8 for the duo).
Hiatus List: The following characters cannot be taken as off list characters in any variation for the next three seasons (except for a (very) few incarnations that have already been pre-approved for certain team owners (you know who you are)). This is not permanent, it is simply done by request of owners, who feel that the league is overrun with certain character incarnations (this does not pertain to their black lantern, zombie, or vampire incarnation if they have not already been selected (in most cases they have)). Here is the list...
-Hal Jordan
-Kyle Rayner
-Guy Gardner
-Sinestro
-Anakin Skywalker
-Superman
-Batman
-Leia Organa
-Luke Skywalker
-Cyclops
-Jean Grey
-Wolverine
-Darth Maul
-Gandalf
-Supergirl
-Nightwing
-Flamebird
-Superboy
-Deadpool
And, if anybody else can think of any other character that they think should be added to this list, than please let me know and they will be.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. Laynaderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Squad #1) are Capt. Universe, (Phoenix Force) Magik, Serpent, Capt. Atom, (Kingdom Come) Green Lantern, Big Barda, (Pre-Suit) Darth Vader, (clone) Darth Maul, Nul (merged with) (Beast Wars) Megatron, (zombie) Absorbing Man, Iron Jedi (Immel clone of Iron Man and Jedi Knight #17), and Kister.
Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Scarlet's Squad) are Dr. Henry Pym, Baby Colossus, Wallace Wells (w/ a demon rod), Jacob Black (w/ star sapphire ring), Cinderblock, R2-KT, Dark Side Adept #14, Hoist, Decepticon #6, Vampire Cat #1, Detective Lubik, and Baby Bucky.
Sup y' all, it's your favorite watcher The Neon Master Pogo here. Ol' Joshatu the Imperious has snatched me away from my off-season island escape once again to watch some meaningless piece of crap. But I must say, Gobotron is pretty cool. It's kind of like a General Motors factory without all the people whining about Union dues and having to work for “the man”. Plus, it's kinda rad cuz I get to watch the new guy's team. I mean, I know they are just Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve repackaged with a new name; but I mean how fitting is a repackaged group when I am on the home planet of The Go-bots. Plus, it shouldn't be too hard, since they are going up against The Super-kitties “C” Team that the two owners threw together for their baby sister out of the junky characters that they don't care about. But anyways, let's get down to it...
“THIS IS NOT GONNA BE WIZARD” Screams Kister, right before Baby Colossus punches his Mos Espian head off. But Colossus in baby form, as well as the rest of his team may pay the price for his brutality, for the rest of the Turrible Decision Squad is pretty P.-O.ed after seeing their mascot's bloody head rolling down the Gobotronian streets. Talk about Yuck Yo!! Big Barda picks up R2-KT by it's/her (whatever) leg and uses the astro-droid (How'd she get so lucky??)? To bust up Cinderblock into what would be a gnarly camp fire site (too bad I left my marshmallows back on the island.... (Wa wa waaaaaaaaa.....).
I'm gonna be like all lazy and stuff, and since it is the off-season I'm just not gonna bother to look up who Serpent is?? I'll just say that he/she (whatever, again) got straight up jacked by a 12 gauge slug to the face via my MAIN MAN, Det. Lubik from the greatest movie ever made, RECOGNIZE!!!!!! Masters of The Universe is in the house YO!! Plus that dude straight up rocked when he played the exact same role in all three Back to The Future movies. I'd say his name; but like I said, Wikipedia just ain't my thing tonight...... Back to the match....
Alan Scott, isn't too old to still be way attracted to Jacob Black's Hella-Sick Abs; but it doesn't stop his politically correct buns of steel from teaming up with Capt. Atom to blast the werewolf into a burnt fur six pack. The Nul-powered Megatron proves that he is the top dawg Transformer regardless of what generation he's from and wipes out Decepticon #6 (I think his name was Blazoo) like it ain't NO THANG. Zombie Absorbing Man sucks the life and powers out of Vampire Cat #1, making him Zombie Vampire Absorbing Feline. Dr. Hank Pym (vintage 90's version) is Toats-McGoats regretting the decision to not have powers or Pym particles and to only rock his “mind” as a weapon. Cuz his mind straight up didn't stop Capt. Universe's cosmic powers from blowing a hole in Wasp's wife (whoops, husband... Freudian slip) brilliant dome. Iron Jedi flies through the air, in his Stark Industries armor, and then nobly uses his lightsaber to murder the baby version of Bucky, before Hoist catches the Immell with his winch head on to waste the double clone. The young Darth Vader, then decides to show off a bit by force choking Wallace Wells, despite his dark protection from the demon rod, all while leaping into the air and onto the back of Hoist. The Sith formerly known as Anakin, then uses his lightsaber to cut into the Autobot, and ride the saber back down to the ground, extinguishing Hoist's spark in the process. Darth Maul can't quite top the awesome feat of awesomeness that his younger than he, Sith Lord Master just threw down; but he does make extremely short work of the lightsaber and blaster wielding Dark Side Adept #14.
Now, faced with their opportunity for a last ditch effort to stay alive in the tournament the seriously B.A. Duo of Baby Colossus and Det. Lubik stand back to back ready to face anything. Lubik cocks his pump shotgun and Colossus flexes his large, yet still tiny metal muscles. They know others would view it as a long shot; but they have no doubt that they can take on any competitors... After all, they are only surrounded by a few chumps, known as Capt. Universe, Magik (who I think just yawned cuz she may have slept through the match until this point), Capt. Atom, Green Lantern, Big Barda, Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Megatron, and Absorbing Man (actually Zombie Vampire Absorbing Feline).
The skirmish begins with a valiant charge by what is left of Scarlet's squad and.......
Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Scarlet's Squad) are Dr. Henry Pym, Baby Colossus, Wallace Wells (w/ a demon rod), Jacob Black (w/ star sapphire ring), Cinderblock, R2-KT, Dark Side Adept #14, Hoist, Decepticon #6, Vampire Cat #1, Detective Lubik, and Baby Bucky.
Sup y' all, it's your favorite watcher The Neon Master Pogo here. Ol' Joshatu the Imperious has snatched me away from my off-season island escape once again to watch some meaningless piece of crap. But I must say, Gobotron is pretty cool. It's kind of like a General Motors factory without all the people whining about Union dues and having to work for “the man”. Plus, it's kinda rad cuz I get to watch the new guy's team. I mean, I know they are just Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve repackaged with a new name; but I mean how fitting is a repackaged group when I am on the home planet of The Go-bots. Plus, it shouldn't be too hard, since they are going up against The Super-kitties “C” Team that the two owners threw together for their baby sister out of the junky characters that they don't care about. But anyways, let's get down to it...
“THIS IS NOT GONNA BE WIZARD” Screams Kister, right before Baby Colossus punches his Mos Espian head off. But Colossus in baby form, as well as the rest of his team may pay the price for his brutality, for the rest of the Turrible Decision Squad is pretty P.-O.ed after seeing their mascot's bloody head rolling down the Gobotronian streets. Talk about Yuck Yo!! Big Barda picks up R2-KT by it's/her (whatever) leg and uses the astro-droid (How'd she get so lucky??)? To bust up Cinderblock into what would be a gnarly camp fire site (too bad I left my marshmallows back on the island.... (Wa wa waaaaaaaaa.....).
I'm gonna be like all lazy and stuff, and since it is the off-season I'm just not gonna bother to look up who Serpent is?? I'll just say that he/she (whatever, again) got straight up jacked by a 12 gauge slug to the face via my MAIN MAN, Det. Lubik from the greatest movie ever made, RECOGNIZE!!!!!! Masters of The Universe is in the house YO!! Plus that dude straight up rocked when he played the exact same role in all three Back to The Future movies. I'd say his name; but like I said, Wikipedia just ain't my thing tonight...... Back to the match....
Alan Scott, isn't too old to still be way attracted to Jacob Black's Hella-Sick Abs; but it doesn't stop his politically correct buns of steel from teaming up with Capt. Atom to blast the werewolf into a burnt fur six pack. The Nul-powered Megatron proves that he is the top dawg Transformer regardless of what generation he's from and wipes out Decepticon #6 (I think his name was Blazoo) like it ain't NO THANG. Zombie Absorbing Man sucks the life and powers out of Vampire Cat #1, making him Zombie Vampire Absorbing Feline. Dr. Hank Pym (vintage 90's version) is Toats-McGoats regretting the decision to not have powers or Pym particles and to only rock his “mind” as a weapon. Cuz his mind straight up didn't stop Capt. Universe's cosmic powers from blowing a hole in Wasp's wife (whoops, husband... Freudian slip) brilliant dome. Iron Jedi flies through the air, in his Stark Industries armor, and then nobly uses his lightsaber to murder the baby version of Bucky, before Hoist catches the Immell with his winch head on to waste the double clone. The young Darth Vader, then decides to show off a bit by force choking Wallace Wells, despite his dark protection from the demon rod, all while leaping into the air and onto the back of Hoist. The Sith formerly known as Anakin, then uses his lightsaber to cut into the Autobot, and ride the saber back down to the ground, extinguishing Hoist's spark in the process. Darth Maul can't quite top the awesome feat of awesomeness that his younger than he, Sith Lord Master just threw down; but he does make extremely short work of the lightsaber and blaster wielding Dark Side Adept #14.
Now, faced with their opportunity for a last ditch effort to stay alive in the tournament the seriously B.A. Duo of Baby Colossus and Det. Lubik stand back to back ready to face anything. Lubik cocks his pump shotgun and Colossus flexes his large, yet still tiny metal muscles. They know others would view it as a long shot; but they have no doubt that they can take on any competitors... After all, they are only surrounded by a few chumps, known as Capt. Universe, Magik (who I think just yawned cuz she may have slept through the match until this point), Capt. Atom, Green Lantern, Big Barda, Darth Vader, Darth Maul, Megatron, and Absorbing Man (actually Zombie Vampire Absorbing Feline).
The skirmish begins with a valiant charge by what is left of Scarlet's squad and.......
Season 7 Schedule
Hi All, Season 7 is right around the corner!! The draft will be on Saturday February 22 at my house at 1:00 pm. Please feel free to get there early for any questions or prep. Here is the schedule, the very small draft list will be posted soon as well. There are a few new things going on with the schedule this season, so read it closely. If there are any questions, or if I made any mistakes on the schedule, you all know how to reach me. Here it is....
Week 1
-100 points
-Setting: Basketball court of the watcher's choosing.
-Prize: Fairchild VZ-5 and 8 Resurrection Points.
**In this match, the two teams will not actually be “fighting” but will be playing basketball against each other. You must play exactly 5 characters (no more, no less) and they must not total more than 100 points. There is no cap on how much any individual character can cost, but they must be able to fit on the court and line up at the opening jump up with their 4 teammates (sorry... no Tripticon or Godzilla).
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Nickatu (in his triumphant return to Watching)).
-TEAM Vs. The Royal Highness (The Neon Master Pogo).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Dave (NNFG).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Joshatu)
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (NuFaGtu).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Empire (Becks).
-UNIVERSE BOWL CHAMPIONS: The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Real Man Rabble Rousers (Griffin)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Krisatu).
Week 2
-300 Points
-Setting: The Water's of Usul's Homeworld
-Prize: NASA X-43 Hyper-X and 15 Resurrection Points
-TEAM Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Becks).
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Krisatu)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Griffin).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. The Royal Highness (The Neon Master Pogo)
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Joshatu)
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Dave (NNFG).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. George Washington's Slaves (NuFaGtu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. The Empire (Fizz).
Week 3
-500 Points
-Setting: The Southside of Chicago: “The Baddest Part of Town” (Special Guest Referee: Bad Bad Leroy Brown).
-Prize: Clerva W.9 and 21 Resurrection Points.
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Griffin).
-TEAM Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (NuFaGtu).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Royal Highness (Becks)
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Krisatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Dave (NNFG).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Pogo).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Empire (Joshatu)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Fizz).
Week 4
-700 Points
-Setting: Beyond the Outer Rim
-Prize: Rockwell X-30 and 35 Graveyard Points.
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Royal Highness (Dave (NNFG).
-Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. TEAM (Joshatu)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Pogo)
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Nickatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. The Empire (NuFaGtu)
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. George Wahington's Slaves (Griffin)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Krisatu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Becks).
Week 5
-999 Points
-Setting: The Play-Off Planet
-Prize: F-117 Nighthawk Stealth Fighter and 45 Graveyard Points
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Royal Highness (Joshatu)
-Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Pogo).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Fizz).
-The Empire Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Griffin).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers (Krisatu).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Dave (NNFG)).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Becks).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. TEAM (NuFaGtu).
Week 6
-450 Points
-Setting: The Outskirts of Arakeen
-Prize: Bell X-2 and 20 Resurrection Points.
**You may only play 1 Unique character in this match, as a team captain of sorts. The rest must ALL be Commons.
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers (Becks).
-Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (NuFaGtu).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Pogo).
-The Empire Vs. The Royal Highness (Krisatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. TEAM (Dave (NNFG)).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (FIZZ).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderfdlies (Joshatu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Griffin).
Week 7
-350 Points
-Setting: Troy (Greece, not Michigan)
-Prize: Adardi AD 3 and 16 Resurrection Points.
-This Death Match, will result in TRIPLE DEATHS for any character that does not make it out of this match. So please choose your squad VERY carefully.
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Shemalabama's Shit-kickers (Fizz).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse (NuFaGtu).
-The Empire Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Dave (NNFG)).
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Becks).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Krisatu).
-TEAM Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Griffin).
-THE BATTLE OF THE CATS: Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Nickatu).
-The Royal Highness Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Joshatu).
Week 8
-250 Points
-Setting: “Where the Wild Things Are”
-Prize: Grumman X-29 and 13 Resurrection Points.
-The Royal Highness Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Becks).
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Nickatu.
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. TEAM (Krisatu).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Pogo).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Joshatu).
-The Empire Vs. George Washington's Slaves (NuFaGtu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse (Griffin).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Dave (NNFG)).
Week 9
-75 Points
-Setting: The Emperor's Throne Room on Death Star II
-Prize: Vought-Sikorsky VS-300 and 4 Graveyard Points.
-Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Joshatu).
-The Royal Highness Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Krisatu).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Becks).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. TEAM (Dave (NNFG).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Griffin).
-The Empire Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Pogo).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mosue Grindhouse (NuFaGtu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Shemalabama's Shit-kickers (Fizz).
Week 1
-100 points
-Setting: Basketball court of the watcher's choosing.
-Prize: Fairchild VZ-5 and 8 Resurrection Points.
**In this match, the two teams will not actually be “fighting” but will be playing basketball against each other. You must play exactly 5 characters (no more, no less) and they must not total more than 100 points. There is no cap on how much any individual character can cost, but they must be able to fit on the court and line up at the opening jump up with their 4 teammates (sorry... no Tripticon or Godzilla).
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Nickatu (in his triumphant return to Watching)).
-TEAM Vs. The Royal Highness (The Neon Master Pogo).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Dave (NNFG).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Joshatu)
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (NuFaGtu).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. The Empire (Becks).
-UNIVERSE BOWL CHAMPIONS: The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Real Man Rabble Rousers (Griffin)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Krisatu).
Week 2
-300 Points
-Setting: The Water's of Usul's Homeworld
-Prize: NASA X-43 Hyper-X and 15 Resurrection Points
-TEAM Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Becks).
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Krisatu)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Griffin).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. The Royal Highness (The Neon Master Pogo)
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Joshatu)
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Dave (NNFG).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. George Washington's Slaves (NuFaGtu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. The Empire (Fizz).
Week 3
-500 Points
-Setting: The Southside of Chicago: “The Baddest Part of Town” (Special Guest Referee: Bad Bad Leroy Brown).
-Prize: Clerva W.9 and 21 Resurrection Points.
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Griffin).
-TEAM Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (NuFaGtu).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. The Royal Highness (Becks)
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Krisatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Dave (NNFG).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Pogo).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Empire (Joshatu)
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Fizz).
Week 4
-700 Points
-Setting: Beyond the Outer Rim
-Prize: Rockwell X-30 and 35 Graveyard Points.
-Griswold's Nut-busters Vs. The Royal Highness (Dave (NNFG).
-Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. TEAM (Joshatu)
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Pogo)
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Nickatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. The Empire (NuFaGtu)
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. George Wahington's Slaves (Griffin)
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Krisatu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Becks).
Week 5
-999 Points
-Setting: The Play-Off Planet
-Prize: F-117 Nighthawk Stealth Fighter and 45 Graveyard Points
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. The Royal Highness (Joshatu)
-Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Pogo).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Fizz).
-The Empire Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Griffin).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers (Krisatu).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Dave (NNFG)).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Becks).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. TEAM (NuFaGtu).
Week 6
-450 Points
-Setting: The Outskirts of Arakeen
-Prize: Bell X-2 and 20 Resurrection Points.
**You may only play 1 Unique character in this match, as a team captain of sorts. The rest must ALL be Commons.
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers (Becks).
-Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (NuFaGtu).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Pogo).
-The Empire Vs. The Royal Highness (Krisatu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. TEAM (Dave (NNFG)).
-Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (FIZZ).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderfdlies (Joshatu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Griffin).
Week 7
-350 Points
-Setting: Troy (Greece, not Michigan)
-Prize: Adardi AD 3 and 16 Resurrection Points.
-This Death Match, will result in TRIPLE DEATHS for any character that does not make it out of this match. So please choose your squad VERY carefully.
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Shemalabama's Shit-kickers (Fizz).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse (NuFaGtu).
-The Empire Vs. Real Man's Rabble Rousers (Dave (NNFG)).
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Becks).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies (Krisatu).
-TEAM Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Griffin).
-THE BATTLE OF THE CATS: Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Nickatu).
-The Royal Highness Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Joshatu).
Week 8
-250 Points
-Setting: “Where the Wild Things Are”
-Prize: Grumman X-29 and 13 Resurrection Points.
-The Royal Highness Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy (Becks).
-Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Nickatu.
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. TEAM (Krisatu).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Pogo).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Joshatu).
-The Empire Vs. George Washington's Slaves (NuFaGtu).
-Shemalabama's Shit-kickers Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse (Griffin).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips (Dave (NNFG)).
Week 9
-75 Points
-Setting: The Emperor's Throne Room on Death Star II
-Prize: Vought-Sikorsky VS-300 and 4 Graveyard Points.
-Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (Joshatu).
-The Royal Highness Vs. Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Krisatu).
-Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters (Becks).
-Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers Vs. TEAM (Dave (NNFG).
-Real Man's Rabble Rousers Vs. George Washington's Slaves (Griffin).
-The Empire Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army (Pogo).
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mosue Grindhouse (NuFaGtu).
-The Sisterhood of Traveling Midgets Vs. Shemalabama's Shit-kickers (Fizz).
Friday, January 10, 2014
FFL Royal Rumble Part One!
As the two unlucky mooks that drew the first two spots in the FFL Rumble, Strong Guy and A.C. Slater are certainly lamenting their lot in life. "Not only do I get a crap number, but then I have to start off against this nerd?!?" gripes Slater. An offended Strong Guy raises a finger and opens his mouth to to protest, but quickly realizes that he is indeed, kind of a nerd. He shrugs his shoulders and locks up with Slater. Despite being much stronger, Strong Guy is put into a headlock by the technically superior A.C. Slater, Bayside High's premier wrestler. Slater continues the hold, knowing he's going to need help to get the massive Strong Guy out of the ring. He finally kills enough time, and King Hippo enters the ring. "Alright Hippo, let's toss this nerd!" advises Slater. King Hippo responds with a punch to Slater, which sends him to a corner, completely unconcious. "Nice shot pal! Us big, goofy looking guys gotta stick together!" exclaims Strong Guy. King Hippo is offended by the "goofy looking" comment, as he is considered one of the handsomest men in the South Pacific. He punches Strong Guy right over the rope, and down into the infamous FFL cosmic lava surrounding the ring. Before Hippo can throw out the KO'd Slater, the next combatant, Bubastis, enters the ring. The genetically modified pet of Ozymandius springs straight for the throat of King Hippo, but is denied as the fat man barely has a neck to begin with. Bubastis is swatted on the nose by Hippo, who then begins bleeting. The wild cat seems to understand King Hippo, and it appears that the two have entered into some kind of agreement. They stand together against an entering No-ship Futar #3, and Bubastis attacks first. He successfully attaches himself to the Futar's neck, and Hippo begins to pummel the ensnared Dune character. The Futar is uppercut out of the ring, but Bubastis is still unfortunately on him, and they both tumble into the lava. King Hippo shows little remorse for his temporary teammate, and raises his hands in a victory celebration. The next in is the Sardakun Terror Troop. The berzerker wastes no time and clotheslines hippo, but it has no effect on the big man. The Terror Troop attempts to run the ropes to get more momentum for a stronger clothesline, but his lack of in ring experience is apparent. He flips backward over the top rope and eliminates himself on accident. Kids, don't forget to keep an arm up when trying to bounce off the ropes, or that could be you! King Hippo again mocks the recently eliminated as The Teen Titans' Thunder comes into the squared circle. Thunder furiously attacks the Punch-Out!! boxer, but all of his blows are blocked. Hippo counter attacks a winded Thunder, who is barely standing up to the beating. He-Man's King Radnor is up next, but he decides to hang back instead of rushing in to face the thus-far dominant King Hippo. Thunder is smashed with a final fist and flies over the top rope, while a smiling King Radnor approaches Hippo. "Did you know that you telegraph your punches, friend?" asks the wise King Radnor (actually, how wise could he be if he couldn't even tell that his son Adam was He-man? I mean, they look exactly the same. Sigh..... aaaaanyways....). An angry King Hippo misses Radnor many times, and raises his fist to strike again. King Radnor strikes the arm, which causes Hippo's pants to fall down. King Radnor furiously attacks the exposed navel of Hippo until the boxer finally falls to the ground, KO'd. Radnor tries with all his might to lift Hippo over the rope, but is not fairing well. Harley Race enters the FFL Rumble and immediately helps with the massive boxer's ousting, but they are still unable to throw King Hippo out. They keep trying until the next entrant, Zack Ryder, comes to their aid. The three men finally manage to toss the huge Hippo over the top rope. King Radnor and Harley Race begin to catch their breath. "Whew... not as young as we used to be, eh Radnor?" asks Race. Radnor nods and looks up to see Zack Ryder charging them both in hopes of a double clothesline. The exhausted elders have little chance and are both eliminated by Zack Ryder....
And this seems like a good a time as any to hand it off to our next featured Watcher, who is no doubt pissed that he had to wait this long to watch. What can I say? Slackers gonna slack. This leaves Zack Ryder and an all but forgotten and still KO'd A.C Slater in his awaiting hands...
And this seems like a good a time as any to hand it off to our next featured Watcher, who is no doubt pissed that he had to wait this long to watch. What can I say? Slackers gonna slack. This leaves Zack Ryder and an all but forgotten and still KO'd A.C Slater in his awaiting hands...
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Layanderlett's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a new Family Vs. Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army
Layanderlet's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family (Alex's Squad) are Ant Man II, Warpath, M.O.D.O.T., (Kingdom Come) Robotman, Bedovian, Ravager, Heavy, Stass Allie, Wheeljack, Decepticon #5, The Cowardly Lion, Finn McCool, and Aunt May.
Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army is Baby Nightcrawler, Fool Killer, Whizzy the Supercat, Jared Nomak (w/ Despotellis' yellow ring), Batzarro, Tarful, Darth Binks, Aleta One (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership AKA: Aletimus Prime), Trax, Alice Cullen, Mansquito, CeCe Jones, and Bella Thorn.
Gobotron... The Final frontier. The place where we separate the boys who would grow up to be men and the boys who would grow up to never kiss a girl (the former are writing nerd stories about Cybertron). The Red Army was late getting their team in, but for some nonsensical reason, the republicans in Congress gave him an extension and let him send one in anyway even though they new it would probably suck. Alex on the other hand put up the best possible squad that he could put together (naturally though the best possible squad he could put together did not include the “actual” best characters for the tournament, because Laya sniped those first for her squad).
Ravager and Tarful fight fiercely in the first pitched battle of the tournament (get the Becks shout out, out of the way now (great work on The Universe Bowl by the way B-2)). While the giant Finn McCool is fitting in nicely in the Gobotron landscape where he squashes Mansquito with relative ease. Darth Binks rushes at the cowardly Lion; but Stass Allie intercepts the fight saying “Maxie Biggs this BINKS”!! As she disarms the gungan and then slices the psuedo-Sith Lord in half. Although Binks does get one wicked hilarious “OH NO!! WHERE'S A MEESA LIGHTSABER” out before he dies. WOW this stuff never gets old, Thank you so much George Lucas!! Baby Nightcrawler, may still be larger than Ant Man, but unlike the mini-mutant, Ant Man's powers do not shrink along with him, in fact they grow. Nightcrawler manages to keep away from Lang for a while, but once the near microscopic Avenger gets on the body of Nightcrawler, it doesn't matter how much he teleports; because with every BAMF, Ant Man simply stays with him. The former convict, then proves that he is now a GREAT superhero by crawling in the ear of Nightcrawler and murdering the baby by grossly jacking up his mutant brain. Warpath proves that he is not a fool, by not being killed by Fool Killer. Althouth he does make a path of war through the face of Fool Killer by using his mutant enhanced strength to turn it to mush inside his not so awesome looking mask. M.O.D.O.T. Is reciting his favorite “Miss Bliss” Era episode of Saved By the Bell, word for word when Whizzy the Super Cat saves the ears, and sanity of all involved by flying through the center of the moron like a rocket to vanish him from this match. The World's worst detective, Batzarro discovers through much intense work that Robotman wishes to kill him, when he notices an Ion Blast heading directly for his face. As it turns out, Batzarro was correct. Jared Nomak is definitely a great choice for a yellow lantern, as he was pretty freakin scary even before he got the ring, but despite him fighting fiercely against Bedovian, the veteran Sinestro corps member, keeps his distance from the enhanced vampire and uses his sniper abilities to blow Nomak to pieces. Tarful and Ravager's battle finally comes to an end, when the stronger Tarful gets a hold of Deathstroke's daughter and snaps her neck. The Clone Trooper Heavy, doesn't weigh too much for Trax to pick him up off the ground and then throw him into the air. Once he is airborne, Trax uses his hand mounted lasers to blast him back out of the air. Wheeljack doesn't need to worry about giving pedestrians the right of way, here on Gobotron since there are no pedestrians or laws to defend them; so I guess the Autobot doesn't need to feel bad about not even remotely slowing down when he runs over CeCe Jones and Bella Thorn. Aletimus Prime makes shiny, pink, feminine, and short work of Decepticon #5, by laser-blasting his face off like only a female version non-gender specific beings can do. Alice Cullen, decides to ignore her vow of not killing humans by rationalizing that Aunt May was about to die of old age in an hour or two anyway. She enjoys eating the flesh and drinking the blood of the old broad. Good times..,. Good times.
The two squads both close ranks, after some losses on both sides. Stass Allie and Aletimus Prime both take command of their respective squads with a backdrop of progressive feminism that would make Hillary Clinton proud. Finn McCool and Wheeljack engage in an awkward giant battle with Aletimus Prime and Trax that fits in perfectly here on Gobotron. Wheeljack blasts Trax repeatedly before Prime returns the favor by blasting Wheeljack's spark apart. Finn McCool uses his massive hands to finish what Wheeljack started and crush the head of Trax; but Trax is quickly avenged as Aletimus spin kicks Finn into a Gobotronian building and then leaps on top of the Scottish giant to finish him off. Now, unable to quell her thirst for blood, Alice Cullen rushes at Stass Allie; but she finds the Jedi Master to be much harder to get a hold of than Aunt May. Stass Allie dodges the vampire's initial attacks and then swiftly decapitates the vampire with her lightsaber. Tarful and The Cowardly Lion engage each other in a bout of furry combat that is one for the ages. Much fur flies around the steely Gobotron sky as they pull fur and shed on one another. The Lion has shed his cowardness as well and if Tarful had any tar in his fur it is definitely not full of it anymore. In fact he is definitley tar empty. Because they are both pulling each other's fur out. In case I haven't been clear about this, they are both very furry, and they are fighting. Or at least they were. They are now done and the Lion is dead. I couldn't really see why though.... They were both too furry. Whizzy the Supercat is easily outrunning Bedovian, when the Kryptonian kitty is ambushed by Warpath and Robotman. The two Super Kitties attempt to overpower the super kitty; but Whizzy bites through the center circuits of Robotman killing the cyborg. This attack leaves Whizzy vulnerable to Warpath, who grabs a hold of the much smaller Whizzy and is able to overpower the cat, eventually breaking its super-powered neck.
Stass Allie, now stands at the ready with her ignited lightsaber, while she is squared up by the wookie Tarful, while Ant Man, Warpath, and Bedovian team up to battle against the Autobot leader Aletimus. Tarful, is a skilled fighter who comes at Allie with an intense berserker rage. This kind of emotion filled/meticulously delivered attack would be more than successful against most combatants, and even many Jedi; but an experienced Jedi Council member such as Master Allie looks deeply into the force and steps aside at the exact right moment, allowing her to take out Tarful with one swift lightsaber swing. Bedovian keeps his distance from Aletimus, while taking pot shots at her from afar with his yellow ring, while Ant Man shrinks down to near microscopic size and works his way inside the massive Autobot's body. Warpath knows of Ant Man's plan and runs at Aletimus to create a diversion, but Aletimus overwhelms the much smaller Warpath and crushes him, much like he did to Whizzy. Stass Allie rushes over to her teammates to aid them against Aletimus, right as the chick Autobot is about to close the gap against Bedovian. Nothing the jedi or the lantern do seem to have an overwhelming affect on Prime, until all of the sudden she seems to start malfunctioning. The two of them begin to realize that whatever Ant Man is up to, it seems to be working. Stass Allie concentrates her force power to force push the massive robot over, and then looks over to see Bedovian conjuring up as much yellow energy as he can muster. Stass yells to Bedovian: “WAIT!! WE HAVE TO GIVE ANT MAN TIME TO GET OUT”!! But the yellow lantern has no desire to risk losing the match and uses his Qwardian ring to finish her off, blowing her to pieces and killing their teammate Ant Man in the process.
Taylor Swift and Barack's Red Army is Baby Nightcrawler, Fool Killer, Whizzy the Supercat, Jared Nomak (w/ Despotellis' yellow ring), Batzarro, Tarful, Darth Binks, Aleta One (w/ The Autobot Matrix of Leadership AKA: Aletimus Prime), Trax, Alice Cullen, Mansquito, CeCe Jones, and Bella Thorn.
Gobotron... The Final frontier. The place where we separate the boys who would grow up to be men and the boys who would grow up to never kiss a girl (the former are writing nerd stories about Cybertron). The Red Army was late getting their team in, but for some nonsensical reason, the republicans in Congress gave him an extension and let him send one in anyway even though they new it would probably suck. Alex on the other hand put up the best possible squad that he could put together (naturally though the best possible squad he could put together did not include the “actual” best characters for the tournament, because Laya sniped those first for her squad).
Ravager and Tarful fight fiercely in the first pitched battle of the tournament (get the Becks shout out, out of the way now (great work on The Universe Bowl by the way B-2)). While the giant Finn McCool is fitting in nicely in the Gobotron landscape where he squashes Mansquito with relative ease. Darth Binks rushes at the cowardly Lion; but Stass Allie intercepts the fight saying “Maxie Biggs this BINKS”!! As she disarms the gungan and then slices the psuedo-Sith Lord in half. Although Binks does get one wicked hilarious “OH NO!! WHERE'S A MEESA LIGHTSABER” out before he dies. WOW this stuff never gets old, Thank you so much George Lucas!! Baby Nightcrawler, may still be larger than Ant Man, but unlike the mini-mutant, Ant Man's powers do not shrink along with him, in fact they grow. Nightcrawler manages to keep away from Lang for a while, but once the near microscopic Avenger gets on the body of Nightcrawler, it doesn't matter how much he teleports; because with every BAMF, Ant Man simply stays with him. The former convict, then proves that he is now a GREAT superhero by crawling in the ear of Nightcrawler and murdering the baby by grossly jacking up his mutant brain. Warpath proves that he is not a fool, by not being killed by Fool Killer. Althouth he does make a path of war through the face of Fool Killer by using his mutant enhanced strength to turn it to mush inside his not so awesome looking mask. M.O.D.O.T. Is reciting his favorite “Miss Bliss” Era episode of Saved By the Bell, word for word when Whizzy the Super Cat saves the ears, and sanity of all involved by flying through the center of the moron like a rocket to vanish him from this match. The World's worst detective, Batzarro discovers through much intense work that Robotman wishes to kill him, when he notices an Ion Blast heading directly for his face. As it turns out, Batzarro was correct. Jared Nomak is definitely a great choice for a yellow lantern, as he was pretty freakin scary even before he got the ring, but despite him fighting fiercely against Bedovian, the veteran Sinestro corps member, keeps his distance from the enhanced vampire and uses his sniper abilities to blow Nomak to pieces. Tarful and Ravager's battle finally comes to an end, when the stronger Tarful gets a hold of Deathstroke's daughter and snaps her neck. The Clone Trooper Heavy, doesn't weigh too much for Trax to pick him up off the ground and then throw him into the air. Once he is airborne, Trax uses his hand mounted lasers to blast him back out of the air. Wheeljack doesn't need to worry about giving pedestrians the right of way, here on Gobotron since there are no pedestrians or laws to defend them; so I guess the Autobot doesn't need to feel bad about not even remotely slowing down when he runs over CeCe Jones and Bella Thorn. Aletimus Prime makes shiny, pink, feminine, and short work of Decepticon #5, by laser-blasting his face off like only a female version non-gender specific beings can do. Alice Cullen, decides to ignore her vow of not killing humans by rationalizing that Aunt May was about to die of old age in an hour or two anyway. She enjoys eating the flesh and drinking the blood of the old broad. Good times..,. Good times.
The two squads both close ranks, after some losses on both sides. Stass Allie and Aletimus Prime both take command of their respective squads with a backdrop of progressive feminism that would make Hillary Clinton proud. Finn McCool and Wheeljack engage in an awkward giant battle with Aletimus Prime and Trax that fits in perfectly here on Gobotron. Wheeljack blasts Trax repeatedly before Prime returns the favor by blasting Wheeljack's spark apart. Finn McCool uses his massive hands to finish what Wheeljack started and crush the head of Trax; but Trax is quickly avenged as Aletimus spin kicks Finn into a Gobotronian building and then leaps on top of the Scottish giant to finish him off. Now, unable to quell her thirst for blood, Alice Cullen rushes at Stass Allie; but she finds the Jedi Master to be much harder to get a hold of than Aunt May. Stass Allie dodges the vampire's initial attacks and then swiftly decapitates the vampire with her lightsaber. Tarful and The Cowardly Lion engage each other in a bout of furry combat that is one for the ages. Much fur flies around the steely Gobotron sky as they pull fur and shed on one another. The Lion has shed his cowardness as well and if Tarful had any tar in his fur it is definitely not full of it anymore. In fact he is definitley tar empty. Because they are both pulling each other's fur out. In case I haven't been clear about this, they are both very furry, and they are fighting. Or at least they were. They are now done and the Lion is dead. I couldn't really see why though.... They were both too furry. Whizzy the Supercat is easily outrunning Bedovian, when the Kryptonian kitty is ambushed by Warpath and Robotman. The two Super Kitties attempt to overpower the super kitty; but Whizzy bites through the center circuits of Robotman killing the cyborg. This attack leaves Whizzy vulnerable to Warpath, who grabs a hold of the much smaller Whizzy and is able to overpower the cat, eventually breaking its super-powered neck.
Stass Allie, now stands at the ready with her ignited lightsaber, while she is squared up by the wookie Tarful, while Ant Man, Warpath, and Bedovian team up to battle against the Autobot leader Aletimus. Tarful, is a skilled fighter who comes at Allie with an intense berserker rage. This kind of emotion filled/meticulously delivered attack would be more than successful against most combatants, and even many Jedi; but an experienced Jedi Council member such as Master Allie looks deeply into the force and steps aside at the exact right moment, allowing her to take out Tarful with one swift lightsaber swing. Bedovian keeps his distance from Aletimus, while taking pot shots at her from afar with his yellow ring, while Ant Man shrinks down to near microscopic size and works his way inside the massive Autobot's body. Warpath knows of Ant Man's plan and runs at Aletimus to create a diversion, but Aletimus overwhelms the much smaller Warpath and crushes him, much like he did to Whizzy. Stass Allie rushes over to her teammates to aid them against Aletimus, right as the chick Autobot is about to close the gap against Bedovian. Nothing the jedi or the lantern do seem to have an overwhelming affect on Prime, until all of the sudden she seems to start malfunctioning. The two of them begin to realize that whatever Ant Man is up to, it seems to be working. Stass Allie concentrates her force power to force push the massive robot over, and then looks over to see Bedovian conjuring up as much yellow energy as he can muster. Stass yells to Bedovian: “WAIT!! WE HAVE TO GIVE ANT MAN TIME TO GET OUT”!! But the yellow lantern has no desire to risk losing the match and uses his Qwardian ring to finish her off, blowing her to pieces and killing their teammate Ant Man in the process.
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions Vs. Griswold's Nut-busters
Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions (squad #3) are Michael Vick, Quills, Kaine, (Kingdom Come) Steel, Book Worm, Dark Jedi Master #11A, Dark Jedi Master #36, Junkeon #1, Droideka #1, and Jenna Jameson.
Griswold's Nut-busters (squad #3) are Capt. Wacky, Brood Alien #8, Ali Rayner-West, Dark Side Marauder #8, Droid Fighter Ship #20, Sharkticon #32, Sentinel #14, Green Dragon #10, and Smurf #3.
Hey this laya I'm on gobotron and there is a huge fight here two teams are fighting the names of the teams are barcly number 3 and griswold number 3 wow thats gonna hurt michael vick comes up behind captain wacky and punches his neck and back he hits his spine and there is much brain damage captain wacky is dead. Thats one kill for michael vick and his last, the green dragon blows out poison michael vick is dead. Quill stands up to fight brood alien number 8 brood alien number 8 attacks and drops one its eggs it reproduces there are 2 brood aliens just then droideka runs them over and they are dead both the brood aliens.steel and book worm work together the droideka runs them over as well and steel and book worm are dead dark jedi master number 11a. Ali Rayner West says nanana booboo you cant catch me I'm so fast you cant catch me especially if you cant see where I am right then ali rayner west keeps on slapping the dark jedi master as so his friend jedi master number 36 comes to TRY and help him but ali keeps on slapping and punching the jedi masters they are dead. The droideka the dark side marander screams ahhhhhh dark side marander is dead. Droid fighter ship killed jenna but it was to late the droid fighter ship flew and hit jenna ,jenna is dead .sentinel help said sharkticon they were both trying so hard to help each other and protect each other but droideka number one is to strong they give up sharkticon and sentinal are dead .junkeon is awesom junkeon not dead yippee and as junkeon turns around and the droid fighter ship takes him out junkeon is dead. ali come in get me kain said okay if you say so ali runs over to him with her ring and sufficates him kaine is dead as the only one in that is left the droideka the droideka also very angry runs over smurf number 3 he is dead ali rayner west then vibrates into the droideka and breaks his wires she vibrates out the droideka is dead griswold number three wins the fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Griswold's Nut-busters (squad #3) are Capt. Wacky, Brood Alien #8, Ali Rayner-West, Dark Side Marauder #8, Droid Fighter Ship #20, Sharkticon #32, Sentinel #14, Green Dragon #10, and Smurf #3.
Hey this laya I'm on gobotron and there is a huge fight here two teams are fighting the names of the teams are barcly number 3 and griswold number 3 wow thats gonna hurt michael vick comes up behind captain wacky and punches his neck and back he hits his spine and there is much brain damage captain wacky is dead. Thats one kill for michael vick and his last, the green dragon blows out poison michael vick is dead. Quill stands up to fight brood alien number 8 brood alien number 8 attacks and drops one its eggs it reproduces there are 2 brood aliens just then droideka runs them over and they are dead both the brood aliens.steel and book worm work together the droideka runs them over as well and steel and book worm are dead dark jedi master number 11a. Ali Rayner West says nanana booboo you cant catch me I'm so fast you cant catch me especially if you cant see where I am right then ali rayner west keeps on slapping the dark jedi master as so his friend jedi master number 36 comes to TRY and help him but ali keeps on slapping and punching the jedi masters they are dead. The droideka the dark side marander screams ahhhhhh dark side marander is dead. Droid fighter ship killed jenna but it was to late the droid fighter ship flew and hit jenna ,jenna is dead .sentinel help said sharkticon they were both trying so hard to help each other and protect each other but droideka number one is to strong they give up sharkticon and sentinal are dead .junkeon is awesom junkeon not dead yippee and as junkeon turns around and the droid fighter ship takes him out junkeon is dead. ali come in get me kain said okay if you say so ali runs over to him with her ring and sufficates him kaine is dead as the only one in that is left the droideka the droideka also very angry runs over smurf number 3 he is dead ali rayner west then vibrates into the droideka and breaks his wires she vibrates out the droideka is dead griswold number three wins the fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Unlucky 13: Griswold's Nut-Busters vs The Royal Highness
The Nut-Busters are Jarvis, Heat Man, Brood Alien #6, G.L. 7177.6, Dark Side Marauder #6, Droid Fighter Ship #18, Sharkticon #10, Sentinel #12, Brass Dragon #4, and Doozer #5.
The Highness is Nova (w/ Xandarian Worldmind), Beast (Original), The Phantom Stranger, Chriselion, Hush, Chameleon, Micah Jiett, Jedi Master #41, Sunstreaker, The Ideon, Black Lantern Super Soldier, Invincible, and Linus Van Pelt.
Outside an old fueling station on Gobotron, the Nut-Busters gathered for warmth around Heat Man. The planet was a cold and desolate place since the GoBots were sold in to slavery by the ever-resourceful Junkions, and rust was slowly eating it away. Edwin Jarvis sat with their Doozer mascot on his shoulder, examining G.L. 7177.6 in an effort to occupy his thoughts. The Dark Side Marauder, Sharkticon, and Brood kept watch at the feet of the Sentinel. Above them, a Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship circled in constant patrol. "Is this all really worth it for a spacecraft?" Jarvis lamented. "We got to this awful place just fine without it." Heat Man rubbed his temples. "Jeez, Jeeves, you sure can be a whiner for all you've been put through. Suck it up now or lay down and die, 'cause we're gonna be here a while." Jarvis sighed and attempted to regain composure. "I suppose if we're dying either way we should die fighting. Repeatedly." From thin air, The Phantom Stranger stepped out before the squad. "And you'll get your wish, Edwin." he assured the butler. By instinct, the Brood charged The Stranger. With a brief glance, he turned his assailant inside-out. "I've seen this play out countless different ways. You can only prolong the inevitable."
The Nut-Busters stood alert, and the Dark Side Marauder spoke with awe in her voice. "Your power is incredible. If you want us dead, why are we still here?" The Stranger cracked a smirk. "Don't misunderstand, I'm only offering fair warning. The others will take care of it. Frankly, I don't have time for little things." The Stranger vanished into a cloud of smoke that emerged from his trenchcoat, and for a moment things were quiet. The silence was broken when Micah Jiett and an accompanying Jedi Master leapt from the smoke, cutting down the Dark Side Marauder and Sharkticon effortlessly with their lightsabers. As Heat Man began to take action, a sphere of solid green light formed around him, Jarvis, and G.L. 7177.6. Chriselion had arrived, and he began to shrink his construct around his foes. G.L. 7177.6 activated his internal power battery and absorbed the energy from their prison, leeching the remaining power from Chriselion's ring. The Lantern was helpless, and the freed Heat Man crushed him into the ground with a burning fist before turning his attention back to the two Jedi.
The Jedi Master ran around distracting the giant android while Jiett tried to climb to the head and find a weak point to strike. Unfortunately, this attracted the attention of the nearby Droid Fighter Ship, which began to spray laser fire at the unsuspecting Micah until nothing remained but a pair of smoldering legs. "Jiett, no! Jiett is down! Send the backup, qui-!" The Jedi Master's shouting was cut short as Heat Man grabbed his neck and ignited his head. In moments, a rumbling noise was heard approaching from down the road. Three armored trucks pulled to the edge of the fray, driven by Beast, Hush, and Invincible, while Sunstreaker, Nova, and Black Lantern Super Soldier followed close behind them. "Could you drive those any slower?" Sunstreaker complained. "We practically missed the whole fight." The trucks began to transform and merge into Ideon. After the Sentinel brushed off Micah Jiett's remains, it detected Beast inside the newly formed mecha nearby. It fired an energy blast at The Ideon, but to no effect. In retaliation, the Ideon produced an energy sword from each wrist and swiftly cut the Sentinel to ribbons. Sunstreaker scoffed. "Somebody is overcompensating. Is it because it takes 3 pilots just to make you work?" The Ideon, barely sentient at best, was silent.
Jarvis had attempted to distance himself from the fight, but soon he felt a tap on his shoulder. He was surprised to see the familiar face of Tony Stark. "Hey Jarvis, how's the big tussle?" Stark inquired. "If you're feeling tired, we could always go home. Drink some cocoa, snuggle by the fire." Jarvis raised his fists. "Oh, how precious. Nice try, but I know a thing or two about doppelgangers." The misdirection still proved effective, as Linus Van Pelt jumped up from behind and wrapped his blanket around Jarvis's throat. As the Doozer attempted to flee from his perch, Chameleon caught him and crushed him between his fingers. "Shh, it's nap time now." Linus whispered to his victim. "Be one with the blanket. Shh... sleeeeep." Jarvis fell to the ground, and Linus stood. He turned expectantly to Chameleon, who had reverted to his natural form. "Uh... G-great job, kid." Chameleon stammered, horrified by his mascot's display. The remaining Nut-Busters grouped closely, surrounded by The Royal Highness. Nova promptly removed the Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship with blasts of energy before attacking Heat Man. Black Lantern Super Soldier was drawn to the green glow of 7177.6's power battery. He tackled the robot and began pummeling it in to the ground. Unable to drain the black ring of its power, G.L. 7177.6 resorted to a final solution: mutually assured destruction. The plating over his power battery popped open and began to glow brightly. Heat Man and Nova abruptly ceased fire and turned to their teammates in horror. Before they could speak, the blast took them. Waves of green light demolished the battlefield, leaving a crater nearly half-mile across in its place. From the red-hot remains of The Ideon, Invincible emerged to survey what remained. No other survivors could be found. At his side appeared The Phantom Stranger, who clasped his ally's shoulder. "You all did well today," he assured Invincible, "but we can't stop to mourn. Even now, there are others drawing closer to The Revenge." Invincible clenched a fist. "You could have done something. You could have written them out of existence. Instead you hid back, and for what? Some code of non-interference?"
The Stranger glared plaintively at the fourth wall. "My power was... limited. Some things can't be controlled." With that, they left the wreckage for their next destination.
The Highness is Nova (w/ Xandarian Worldmind), Beast (Original), The Phantom Stranger, Chriselion, Hush, Chameleon, Micah Jiett, Jedi Master #41, Sunstreaker, The Ideon, Black Lantern Super Soldier, Invincible, and Linus Van Pelt.
Outside an old fueling station on Gobotron, the Nut-Busters gathered for warmth around Heat Man. The planet was a cold and desolate place since the GoBots were sold in to slavery by the ever-resourceful Junkions, and rust was slowly eating it away. Edwin Jarvis sat with their Doozer mascot on his shoulder, examining G.L. 7177.6 in an effort to occupy his thoughts. The Dark Side Marauder, Sharkticon, and Brood kept watch at the feet of the Sentinel. Above them, a Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship circled in constant patrol. "Is this all really worth it for a spacecraft?" Jarvis lamented. "We got to this awful place just fine without it." Heat Man rubbed his temples. "Jeez, Jeeves, you sure can be a whiner for all you've been put through. Suck it up now or lay down and die, 'cause we're gonna be here a while." Jarvis sighed and attempted to regain composure. "I suppose if we're dying either way we should die fighting. Repeatedly." From thin air, The Phantom Stranger stepped out before the squad. "And you'll get your wish, Edwin." he assured the butler. By instinct, the Brood charged The Stranger. With a brief glance, he turned his assailant inside-out. "I've seen this play out countless different ways. You can only prolong the inevitable."
The Nut-Busters stood alert, and the Dark Side Marauder spoke with awe in her voice. "Your power is incredible. If you want us dead, why are we still here?" The Stranger cracked a smirk. "Don't misunderstand, I'm only offering fair warning. The others will take care of it. Frankly, I don't have time for little things." The Stranger vanished into a cloud of smoke that emerged from his trenchcoat, and for a moment things were quiet. The silence was broken when Micah Jiett and an accompanying Jedi Master leapt from the smoke, cutting down the Dark Side Marauder and Sharkticon effortlessly with their lightsabers. As Heat Man began to take action, a sphere of solid green light formed around him, Jarvis, and G.L. 7177.6. Chriselion had arrived, and he began to shrink his construct around his foes. G.L. 7177.6 activated his internal power battery and absorbed the energy from their prison, leeching the remaining power from Chriselion's ring. The Lantern was helpless, and the freed Heat Man crushed him into the ground with a burning fist before turning his attention back to the two Jedi.
The Jedi Master ran around distracting the giant android while Jiett tried to climb to the head and find a weak point to strike. Unfortunately, this attracted the attention of the nearby Droid Fighter Ship, which began to spray laser fire at the unsuspecting Micah until nothing remained but a pair of smoldering legs. "Jiett, no! Jiett is down! Send the backup, qui-!" The Jedi Master's shouting was cut short as Heat Man grabbed his neck and ignited his head. In moments, a rumbling noise was heard approaching from down the road. Three armored trucks pulled to the edge of the fray, driven by Beast, Hush, and Invincible, while Sunstreaker, Nova, and Black Lantern Super Soldier followed close behind them. "Could you drive those any slower?" Sunstreaker complained. "We practically missed the whole fight." The trucks began to transform and merge into Ideon. After the Sentinel brushed off Micah Jiett's remains, it detected Beast inside the newly formed mecha nearby. It fired an energy blast at The Ideon, but to no effect. In retaliation, the Ideon produced an energy sword from each wrist and swiftly cut the Sentinel to ribbons. Sunstreaker scoffed. "Somebody is overcompensating. Is it because it takes 3 pilots just to make you work?" The Ideon, barely sentient at best, was silent.
Jarvis had attempted to distance himself from the fight, but soon he felt a tap on his shoulder. He was surprised to see the familiar face of Tony Stark. "Hey Jarvis, how's the big tussle?" Stark inquired. "If you're feeling tired, we could always go home. Drink some cocoa, snuggle by the fire." Jarvis raised his fists. "Oh, how precious. Nice try, but I know a thing or two about doppelgangers." The misdirection still proved effective, as Linus Van Pelt jumped up from behind and wrapped his blanket around Jarvis's throat. As the Doozer attempted to flee from his perch, Chameleon caught him and crushed him between his fingers. "Shh, it's nap time now." Linus whispered to his victim. "Be one with the blanket. Shh... sleeeeep." Jarvis fell to the ground, and Linus stood. He turned expectantly to Chameleon, who had reverted to his natural form. "Uh... G-great job, kid." Chameleon stammered, horrified by his mascot's display. The remaining Nut-Busters grouped closely, surrounded by The Royal Highness. Nova promptly removed the Brass Dragon and Droid Fighter Ship with blasts of energy before attacking Heat Man. Black Lantern Super Soldier was drawn to the green glow of 7177.6's power battery. He tackled the robot and began pummeling it in to the ground. Unable to drain the black ring of its power, G.L. 7177.6 resorted to a final solution: mutually assured destruction. The plating over his power battery popped open and began to glow brightly. Heat Man and Nova abruptly ceased fire and turned to their teammates in horror. Before they could speak, the blast took them. Waves of green light demolished the battlefield, leaving a crater nearly half-mile across in its place. From the red-hot remains of The Ideon, Invincible emerged to survey what remained. No other survivors could be found. At his side appeared The Phantom Stranger, who clasped his ally's shoulder. "You all did well today," he assured Invincible, "but we can't stop to mourn. Even now, there are others drawing closer to The Revenge." Invincible clenched a fist. "You could have done something. You could have written them out of existence. Instead you hid back, and for what? Some code of non-interference?"
The Stranger glared plaintively at the fourth wall. "My power was... limited. Some things can't be controlled." With that, they left the wreckage for their next destination.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Off Season Antics
Hello all, first off I would like to welcome the newest addition to The Fantasy Fantasy family, Dave Parks. He will be taking over Michael Vickz Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve and he will also be our newest Watcher next season. I would politely ask you all to go easy on him at first; but since I know none of you will, I won't even bother to try. So, go ahead and give him hell; but just because we have a new, new guy; let's please not use this as an excuse to start being nice to Real Man. I mean, that would simply be a shame.
Also, a few of us have put together both an Optional and a Non-Optional Tournament to help pass some time in the off-season. Here they are:
The Unlucky 13 Tournament (OPTIONAL)
In this tournament you may enter anywhere from zero to three seperate squads, and you will be awarded 5 Resurrection points per squad, just for entering (so a possible 15 Res. Points are available without even winning a match). The final prize will be Galvatron's Spaceship (the one that Unicron gave him in the original Transformers Movie). There will be Res. Point Prizes for winning each round, and for the final as well; but those will vary according to how many teams are entered. Here is the squad you must put up:
1. Any Avenger (Marvel)
2. Any X-Men Character (Marvel)
3. Any Marvel Villain
4. Any Justice League Member (D.C.)
5. Any Lantern (D.C.)
6. Any D.C. Villain
7. Any Star Wars Character
8. Any Force User
9. Any Transformer
10. Any Robot
11. Any Dead Character (zombie, black lantern, or vampire)
12. Any Character under 45 points* (this is the only required field).
13. Mascot: Any Character under 5 points
-You do not have to fill all 13 spots; but you must fill at least 9 of the 13 to get the 5 Resurrection Points for entering (you may insert one substitute into any of the first 11 spots, this character must be 15 points or less, also feel free to grab characters off of the waiver wire to fill the spots).
-But here is why this tournament is so dangerous. The squad(s) you put up will be fully brought back to life for each round of this tournament. So, the characters you choose to enter into this tournament could potentially get several deaths (4 deaths is the estimate for the most a character could get; but it could technically be even more depending on how many squads enter into the tournament). Who plays who, will be randomly selected after all of the squads are submitted. If one of your squads is selected to go up against another one of your squads, then you can combine the squads in whatever way you choose, and the other one will be eliminated, without any deaths, or any more deaths given to them. I am sure that some of this may seem confusing, but I will post some more stuff in the comment section that might help. Please feel free to contact me direct, or to ask questions in the comment section and me or one of the other watchers will do our best to clarify things. These squads will be due by Friday December 20th.
NON-OPTIONAL ROYAL RUMBLE
-This will be similar to The Royal Rumble that Ryan did a few years back. Every team must submit two characters; but there is no minimum point value (in other words, you have to enter, but you can throw junk characters at it if you want). You must choose two characters from your roster that do not combine for more than 40 points (feel free to use discounts for your two characters).
-The way this tournament will work will be very random. The characters will come down to the ring in a randomly selected order, also the watchers will write randomly selected parts of this match. The prize will be 35 Resurrection Points as well as The Merrimac and The Monitor (yes, the 19th Century Navy Steamships). There will also be an additional 5 Resurrection Points given to the last 5 characters (other than the winner) that are eliminated, and also 3 resurrection points each given to the two unlucky chumps whose characters are chosen as #1 and #2 in the rumble order.
-The only restriction is that the characters must be able to fit in a wrestling ring (sorry Metroplex and Gamera). Also, you may choose characters that have flying abilities; but these abilities will be "somehwat disabled" by the watchers, for the sake of being knocked over the top rope of the ring.
-Good luck all, the characters for this will also be due on Friday December 20th (if they are not in, we will grab some junk off of your roster without asking (we're jerks like that)).
-Anyone who would like to write in both or either one of these tournaments, please let me know. The More the Merrier.
Also, a few of us have put together both an Optional and a Non-Optional Tournament to help pass some time in the off-season. Here they are:
The Unlucky 13 Tournament (OPTIONAL)
In this tournament you may enter anywhere from zero to three seperate squads, and you will be awarded 5 Resurrection points per squad, just for entering (so a possible 15 Res. Points are available without even winning a match). The final prize will be Galvatron's Spaceship (the one that Unicron gave him in the original Transformers Movie). There will be Res. Point Prizes for winning each round, and for the final as well; but those will vary according to how many teams are entered. Here is the squad you must put up:
1. Any Avenger (Marvel)
2. Any X-Men Character (Marvel)
3. Any Marvel Villain
4. Any Justice League Member (D.C.)
5. Any Lantern (D.C.)
6. Any D.C. Villain
7. Any Star Wars Character
8. Any Force User
9. Any Transformer
10. Any Robot
11. Any Dead Character (zombie, black lantern, or vampire)
12. Any Character under 45 points* (this is the only required field).
13. Mascot: Any Character under 5 points
-You do not have to fill all 13 spots; but you must fill at least 9 of the 13 to get the 5 Resurrection Points for entering (you may insert one substitute into any of the first 11 spots, this character must be 15 points or less, also feel free to grab characters off of the waiver wire to fill the spots).
-But here is why this tournament is so dangerous. The squad(s) you put up will be fully brought back to life for each round of this tournament. So, the characters you choose to enter into this tournament could potentially get several deaths (4 deaths is the estimate for the most a character could get; but it could technically be even more depending on how many squads enter into the tournament). Who plays who, will be randomly selected after all of the squads are submitted. If one of your squads is selected to go up against another one of your squads, then you can combine the squads in whatever way you choose, and the other one will be eliminated, without any deaths, or any more deaths given to them. I am sure that some of this may seem confusing, but I will post some more stuff in the comment section that might help. Please feel free to contact me direct, or to ask questions in the comment section and me or one of the other watchers will do our best to clarify things. These squads will be due by Friday December 20th.
NON-OPTIONAL ROYAL RUMBLE
-This will be similar to The Royal Rumble that Ryan did a few years back. Every team must submit two characters; but there is no minimum point value (in other words, you have to enter, but you can throw junk characters at it if you want). You must choose two characters from your roster that do not combine for more than 40 points (feel free to use discounts for your two characters).
-The way this tournament will work will be very random. The characters will come down to the ring in a randomly selected order, also the watchers will write randomly selected parts of this match. The prize will be 35 Resurrection Points as well as The Merrimac and The Monitor (yes, the 19th Century Navy Steamships). There will also be an additional 5 Resurrection Points given to the last 5 characters (other than the winner) that are eliminated, and also 3 resurrection points each given to the two unlucky chumps whose characters are chosen as #1 and #2 in the rumble order.
-The only restriction is that the characters must be able to fit in a wrestling ring (sorry Metroplex and Gamera). Also, you may choose characters that have flying abilities; but these abilities will be "somehwat disabled" by the watchers, for the sake of being knocked over the top rope of the ring.
-Good luck all, the characters for this will also be due on Friday December 20th (if they are not in, we will grab some junk off of your roster without asking (we're jerks like that)).
-Anyone who would like to write in both or either one of these tournaments, please let me know. The More the Merrier.
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