Week 5 Democracy Playoff Planet Match : The Striders of Rohan vs George Washingtons House Elves

House Elves : Superman (Final Life), BlackBolt, Gandalf the Grey (w/Elven ring), Thor, Set (Final Life), Colosus (Final Life), Sandworm #1-5, Black Lantern Sandworm (Final Life), Seaworm #1A (Final Life), Black Lantern Seaworm (Final Life), Vampire Seaworm (Final Life), Mar-Vel, Archangel, T-1000, Orion, Dumbledore, Corbin Dallas, Santa (with Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen), Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Haggred, Arsenal, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), White Walker #1-5, Dothraki #2-6 Riding on Dothraki Horses #2-6, Mako, Waterbender #1-3, Airbender #4 .

Striders : Odin, The Injustice League: Ultraman, Superwoman, Johnny Quick, Power Ring, Owlman, and Talon, Abeloth, Ragnarock, Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, King Kong, Zombie King Kong, Zombie Balrog of Moria, Zombie Wolverine, Zombie X-23, Gandalf The White w/ a White Lantern Ring (final death), Gothmog the Balrog, Ancalgon the Black, Earth 2 Catwoman, Batwing w/ Power Ring, Rage w/ Red Lantern Ring, Azula w/ Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ Red Lantern Ring, Brother Blood, Mandolorain #1-5, and Dark Trooper #1-4. 

TEAM Vs. Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids

 TEAM is Unicron, Primus, Thanos (w/ The Infinity Gauntlet, Power Stone, Soul Stone, Space Stone, and Reality Stone), Daksol, The Constructicons:  Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, & Scavenger, Astro-Train, Blitz-Wing, Leader-One, Blaster w/ Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Steeljaw, Dile, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, & Sundor, Black Lantern Polaris, Six Shot, & Cybertronian Guardian #3.

Spence and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader in his TIE Advanced X 1, Darth Revan in John's TIE Interceptor, Darth Bane in a TIE Bomber, Red Son Superman, White Suit Anakin Skywalker in Spence's TIE Interceptor, Vampire Neo, 4-Lom & Zuckuss piloting the CEC YT 2400 Freighter w/ Savage Oppress, Feral, Suki, & Jedi Youngling #6-12 aboard, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Interceptor, Ahsoka Tano in a TIE Interceptor, Hancock, Weapon H, The Rancor, & The Darth Vader Transformer.  

For some time now the small band of Sith Aids members have hold up on their small asteroid space station as two massive, larger than planets, world destroying robots and their brutal companions approach.  Many ideas have been kicked around, many names have been assigned to the phenomenon; but the one that seems to be most common is one of the most simple.  Impending doom.  Rather than wait for the worst to fall upon them, Lord Vader decides that the only hope of the Sith Aids is to mount a counter offensive.  The attack, to be led by Vader himself, along with several other versions of him and other heavy hitters will be a longshot; but Vader speaks to his troops instilling in them all that "the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force".

Lord Vader feels the Force flow through him as he chooses his words wisely, knowing exactly what to say to invoke the emotion of all the different versions of himself as well as his fellow Sith Lords, and other teammates that still serve the Light.  Vader may no longer be a good guy, but he has not totally forgotten what it was like to be one.  His speech relays a sense of duty, honor, and above all necessary fear in the hearts and minds of his Sith Aids Cohorts before they board their ships and take flight towards the incoming danger.  

TEAM stands at the ready, floating in space and awaiting an attack that they see on the horizon.  Darksol is perched as a lookout, on a small pile of space debris to let his TEAMmates know when the battle shall begin.  He serves his purpose in death as The Sith Aids draw first blood.  Before the ships have even arrived in their flight formation Red Son Superman and Hancock rip through the Shining Force villain, leaving him in pieces.  

Facts about space

 

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins:

Tornedron, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, The Monitor w/ White Lantern Ring, Zombie Dr. Manhattan, 12 Guardian Knights as Dragonstorm, Dormamu, Blue Marvel, Ronan the Accuser, Hyperion, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Kyle’s Jedi Starfighter and Zach Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Zach’s Jedi Starfighter, Joe Levine Jedi Master, Kelly Nightsister, and Abby Jedi Youngling in Levine Family YT-2400, Uruk Hai #6-9.

 

George Washington's House Elves:

Set, Sinestro, BlackBolt, Galvatron, Ben Kenobi (In an X-wing), Mar-Vel, Archangel, Agent Smith, Orion, Shao Kahn (In Ben Kenobi’s x-wing), Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Bulk, Skull, Shaak Ti, Liono, Batgirl (Cassandra Cain), Sky

 

Space, as everyone knows is mostly empty. Sure, there are plenty of planets and stars but they are surrounded by emptiness. Really, you can go on forever and not hit anything. Another thing that is true about space is that women fly around in it as well as they drive on earth. So it should come as no surprise that Shaak Ti, the Levine Family YT-2400 piloted by Kelly, Batgirl, and Sky all fly straight into a star.

 

Another fact about space is that it is racist (like everyone else at this point). For that reason, Space immediately kills Black Lantern Omega Supreme and BlackBolt purely because it hates their names.

 

The Power Rangers and LOTR were filmed on earth and none of those actors can breathe in space so they meet the same fate as George Floyd (they found out they had to go to space so they overdosed on fentanyl before the match).

 

It’s pronounced Zor-DON. He died too.

 

The 1986 documentary “Transformers: The Movie” taught me that space is ruled by robots, which is why Galvatron was so easily able to kill Blue Marvel, Ronin the Accuser, and Hyperion. It had a sort of sequel in 2017 called “Transformers: The Last Knight” but I haven’t seen it and those robots probably aren’t as cool (and definitely now dead).

 

On earth a zombie doctor would be a contradiction but not so in space. Zombie Dr. Manhattan has a flourishing medical practice.

 

Wonderment in space is possible. When Jedis Kyle and Zack see Liono’s ripped muscles and beautiful mane floating towards them they pause to admire him, until the ginger runs the sword of omens through them.

 

The 2^nd law of thermodynamics applies in space as well. Tornedron sucks all of the energy out of several House Elves. He is finally stopped when Agent Smith drinks him like an energy drink. It moves through him fast though and when Agent Smith voids his bladder he does so on Dormamu extinguishing him.

 

It is possible to get tired in space. Like The Monitor, who already knows these facts and just wants the match to end, so he finishes off the remaining House Elves.

 

It is possible to hide in space. No one knows this better that Ben Kenobi. The guy is really good at it, he has been doing it most of his life.

FFL 2021 Week 4: Fastfood Armageddon

 *-4 denotes 4 deaths* 

Crack Danks: Galactus (-4), Nova (-4), Silver Surfer (-4), Sky Lynx (-4), Lt. Commander Worf in Arc Fighter, Supreme Leader Snoke in Sith Fighter, Voltron, Jason Voorhees w/ Red Lantern Ring, Tommy Oliver w/ Dragonzord Flute/Chest Shield, Korg in an A-Wing, Meek, (Jolee Fishdo, Lord Zedd, Rita Repulsa, Crash Bandicoot, and Vampire Magneto in Quintesson Ship)

Affirmative Action Popeyes: Earth 2 Superman w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Revan Reborn in A-Wing, Bastila Shan in TIE Fighter, Jolee Bindo in TIE Bomber, Post Sarlacc Boba Fett in B-Wing, White Lantern Batman, Black Lantern Emperor Palpatine, Metroplex (-4), Cyclonus & his Armada, Nolan Peterson: Sith Bro in Arwing, Austin Perrison: Sith Bro in Arwing, A-3, Twincast, Fast Forward, Autobot Cassette #1, Autobot Cassette #2, Autobot Cassette #3, Forrest Gump w/ Green Lantern Ring, Mogo, and Destro

This match takes place in deep space.

Both teams spawn in and right off the bat, Galactus notices that Affirmative Action Popeyes has a full planet on their side. So, Galactus calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help attack Planet Mogo while the rest of Crack Danks work on the rest of their Fast Food Counterpart Affirmative Action Popeyes. As these teams are fighting for the bragging rights title of FAST FOOD KING.

The Sith Bros, Twin Cast, Fast Forward, and the three Autobot Cassette’s work on attacking the Quintesson Ship. Magneto uses his mutant powers to crush the Arwing’s that the Sith Bros are flying in and kill them immediately. Fast Forward then retaliates with a Heat Ray Cannon blast to the Warship which causes it to lose some of its mobility. Magneto, angered by this hit to the ship, takes apart the three Autobot Cassettes and throws them at Twin Cast and Fast Forward. Killing Fast Forward but only damaging Twincast. Seeing his team struggle with the Quintesson Warship, Cyclonus and his Armada go to help. Cyclonus hits the ship with his blaster and blows up the ship. This kills Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa and Crash Bandicoot. Magneto saw the blast coming and was able to make a large shield out of metal from the warship but only had enough time to save himself and Jolee Fishdo.

After that Sky Lynx and Voltron team up to face Metroplex and Cyclonus and his Armada. We got a big ole robot fight boys. Voltron uses their giant sword to take a slash at Cyclonus and his Armada. Cyclonus dodged but his Armada were not quick enough as they were cut in half. 

While that is happening Twincast sees a floating Meek in space and hits him with a blaster shot killing him. This angers Korg as he yells “Revolution” and charges at the damaged transformer in his A-Wing and hits him with blasts from his laser cannons.

Earth 2 Superman then goes on a tear and kills Korg, Supreme Leader Snoke, and Lieutenant Commander Worf.

Jason Voorhees sees Forrest Gump and Destro and decides to attack them. Jason Voorhies causes Destro to be frightened but Forrest Gump isn’t scared at all as he doesn’t understand who Jason Voorhees is. Jason has scared Destro so much that he’s frozen in place and Jason kills him easily with his machete. Gump and Jason then have a long and fierce battle as they both just fit the emotion of their lantern rings so well. Jason is just so filled with rage, while Gump has so much will that he’s run across the whole U.S. and has saved the lives of multiple members of the U.S. military. Eventually after a long and fierce battle Jason just barely wins as he was just a more experienced killer. Though he is extremely tired and injured after this exchange with the Alabama Football Player.

Revan, Jolee, Bastila, and Boba Fett fly in their respective ships to attack Tommy Oliver and a weakened Jason Vorhees. Jason puts up a force field with his lantern ring to protect Tommy and himself but isn’t able to hold for very long as the blasters from the Old Republic Force Users and a post sarlacc clone ship were just too strong. Eventually Revan kills Jason with a laser cannon from his A-Wing. Tommy Oliver dodges many blaster shots from the ships but eventually there is only so much he can do and he is killed by a shot from Bastila’s TIE Interceptor.

Galactus sees that his squad is struggling and calls Nova and Silver Surfer to help the rest of their teammates. Silver Surfer and Nova make quick work of some of the members of Affirmative Action Popeyes. They kill Revan, Bastila, Jolee, Boba Fett, and Emperor Palpatine. They are then confronted by A-3 and White Lantern Batman. Batman shoots Silver Surfer with a blast from his White Lantern Ring but SIlver Surfer just absorbs the energy. This confuses Batman as he hasn’t seen anyone absorb energy like that since his encounter with Doomsday. He then uses that absorbed energy and projects it onto A-3, easily killing the Autobot. Nova then uses her extreme agility and reflexes to dodge all of Batman’s lantern blasts and eventually get close enough to the Caped Crusader and rips him in half, as he still is only human.

Now back to the big robot fight. Vampire Magneto then goes to help his team with these giant Transformers. He uses all of his power to slow down Cyclonus just enough so that Voltron can stab him through his chest. This feat of power from the Mutant was so much that it caused Magneto’s brain to have an aneurysm, thus killing him.Metroplex then hits Voltron with a huge blast and kills the Lion powered beast. Sky Lynx then attacks Metroplex, they get into a heated battle. Eventually Metroplex comes out victorious as he rips Sky Lynx’s jaw open (King Kong style). Though Metroplex was not unharmed from this battle as Sky Lynx had greatly damaged one of his legs from a bite from the T-Rex mouthed Transformer. Nova and Silver Surfer see the weakened Metroplex and decide to make easy work of one of the members of Scramble City. Earth 2 Superman then flies in from nowhere and hits Nova with a combo of punches and then uses his ice breath to weaken her cosmic flame. Once that is completed he snaps the neck of Nova.

Now all we have left is Silver Surfer vs. Earth 2 Superman and Galactus vs. Nova. Silver Surfer and Superman go at it but everything that Superman throws at Silver Surfer is either dodged or absorbed by the scientist from Zenn-La. Eventually Superman becomes tired out from his attacks, as the Silver Surfer has drained all of the Yellow Sun Energy from Superman. The Surfer then uses this energy and grabs Superman by the throat and emits it all, causing Superman’s head to explode. 

Silver Surfer then goes to help Galactus absorb Mogo. After a long battle Galactus was victorious and able to consume the planet Mogo. Though he does not feel right after consuming the planet. He then blows up in a giant green explosion killing both him and the Silver Surfer. It turns out the Planet Mogo’s Will was just too strong for Galactus, causing Galactus to blow up with a huge amount of Green Lantern Energy. 

All that’s left in this battle is Jolee Fishdo as he was still behind the shield that Magneto had made for him.

Week 4: Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions vs Dinomites

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, Glenn McClelland, And The Boognish in Spaceball 1, Resplendent Man, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Jade, Ki Adi Mundi in a TIE Fighter, Batwoman in a TIE Fighter, Dhalsim, Donkey Kong, Blanka, Belle and The Beast, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid, Space Ghost in The Phantom Cruiser, Jan, Jace, and Blip in their shuttle, The Vampire Lestat

Dinomites: Ranx The Sentient City, The Black Racer, General Zod, Cyborg Superman w/ yellow lantern ring, Captain Marvel, Wedge Antilles in his X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in his X-Wing,  Ice w/ star sapphire ring, Zam Wessel in a X-Wing, Jango Fett in a X-Wing, Cassian and K-2SO in Cassian's U-Wing, Bossk in a X-Wing, Aurra Sing in a Y-Wing, Eeth Koth In a A-Wing, Booster Gold, Rey in a B-Wing, Cal Kestis in a TIE Bomber

The battle opened as the Dinomites fighters launched from Ranx, starting their first run on Spaceball 1, which begins the transition into Mega Maid. Wedge and Biggs lead the charge with Zam, Jango, Bossk, Sing, Cassian, Koth, Rey, and Cal, in formation. Blue Beetle, Ki Adi Mundi, Batwoman, and Space Ghost set out to intercept their attack. In the first run, The Dinomites land several hits on Spaceball 1 but manage little damage overall to the gigantic starship. Turrible Decisions follow up and land hits on Sing, and Kestis, and Rey, who’s slower ships are easy targets. This sends them flying into the three-ring circus and the mall, taking out Donkey Kong, Belle and the Beast, Detective Pikachu, Sonja, and Blanka. Wedge and Biggs respond by taking down Blue Beetle and Batwoman. Zam, Jango, and Bossk make a large enough hole in Spaceball 1 to land. Upon landing they are met by Jade, Dhalsim, Kano, and Jax. Bossk lets out a roar and disintegrates Jade, but Dhalsim follows up by wombo comboing Zam. Jango’s wrist roared with flames as he fried Dhalsim and Kano. Jax begins his beat down of Bossk, but is blown to smithereens by Jango’s wrist rocket. With the landing area secured, Cassian and K-2SO land and the 4 of them venture deeper into Mega Maid who at this point has finished the transition and under the control of Ween, who stops jamming to “Ocean Man” and begins to chant “suck.” 

On the surface of Ranx, the living circuits begin to be pulled from the surface and into the giant vacuum cleaner. The rest of the Dinomites squadron turn their attention to the vacuum cleaner, which is guarded by The Phantom Cruiser and Ki Adi Mundi. Wedge, Biggs, and Koth attack in a tight formation and the TIE Fighter doesn't stand a chance against the more agile and better equipped X-Wings and A-Wing. With Mundi dead, Jan, Jace, and Blip launch their shuttle and Koth breaks off to hunt them down while Wedge and Biggs continue pursuing Space Ghost. Too focused on his target, Koth flies into the suck zone and perishes. In a bit of impeccable flying, Space Ghost manages to maneuver behind Biggs and destroy his X-Wing, but is done in by Wedge avenging his fallen friend. Wedge then finds the lone shuttle and ends its existence.

General Zod, Cyborg Superman, The Black Racer, Captain Marvel, Ice, and Booster Gold move as one towards the head of Mega Maid. They are intercepted by Omniman, Battlebeast, Thragg, Invincible, Allen the Alien, Hotspot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, and First Aid. Chaos ensued and when the dust and blood dissipated the only survivors were a damaged Cyborg Superman and a gassed Booster Gold. Back inside Spaceball 1, Jango and Cassian are the last survivors of the boarding party, having lost Bossk and K-2SO in the battles against Shinobi and his dog, Princess Leia of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, and Eevee. Upon reaching the door to the head of Mega Maid, they believe they will have won this in just a few moments, when the Wither, set loose from the Zoo, begins to rampage towards them. Jango begins to open fire and Cassian is hit by one of the Wither’s explosive skulls and withers away. The Wither goes into melee mode and Jango is no match for his strength. The Wither then continues rampaging through the ship and eventually out into space, where he just keeps on going, becoming lost to the void.

Cyborg Superman goes for the Head of Mega Maid and sends Booster to find the self destruct button. Booster makes his way through the ear canal and enters through the emergency exit, alerting Lestat to his intentions. The Vampire gave his life by stalling Booster Gold, which gave The Boognish time to reach the self-destruct button, but not before Booster could break the glass starting the countdown. The demon then distracted Booster offering him immense wealth and killed him while his guard was down and headed back to the command center, Back in the head Cyborg Superman enters an empty command center with Ocean Man still on repeat. He deactivates the vacuum, but Ranx has already been mostly destroyed. When the doors open behind him the Boognish stands in the doorway. Thinking he can take the damaged cyborg before the ship explodes they begin their battle. With the power of Ween the Boognish puts up an incredible fight and keeps Superman inside, while the members of Ween use the escape pods. Out in space, Wedge is able to take out the escape pods of Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr, and Glenn McClelland, but Mega Maid explodes, forcing him to make the jump away.

Consortium Week 4: Super Kitties vs Be Gentle Its My Third Time

Kitties are : Apocalypse, Power Girl, Starfire, Raven, Magnus Bane, Mr. Spock and Capt. Pike in The Arc, Iko, Scarlet, Thorne, Kai, Cinder, Erland, Wolf, and Cress in The Rampion, Barack Obama and Teddy Roosevelt in a Trade Federation Droid Control Ship, Capt. Hiller, and Capt. Wilder in a Firespray 31, Raven Reyes, Monty Green, Clarke Griffin, Madi, Indra, Bellamy, Blake, Octavia Blake, John Murphy, and Lexa in Count Dookus Ship, Hawkeye in a TIE Interceptor, Princess Leia in a Z95 Headhunter, Firestorm, Space Trooper #1-2, Queen Alien, Baby Marvel Girl, Tomar Tu, Athena, The Insecticons : BombShell, Shrapnell, and Kickback, and Juliette Ferrars w/ a Red Lantern Ring

Gentle is :Full Spectrum Kyle Raynor (final death), Zombie Superman (final death), Zombie Superboy (final death), White Lantern Kyle Raynor, Plo Koon (final death) w/ a Green Lantern Ring in Porkins X-Wing with BB-8 , The Z-Fighters : Gohan (final death) , Krillin, Piccolo, Tien Shinhan, Yanmch, Chiaotzu, Yajrobe, and Bulma, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer (final death), Orange Lantern Lex Luthor (final death), Yellow Lantern Scarecrow (final death) , Mako w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, King Xeno, 2 Dwarves, Black Lantern Batman w/ Beskar Armour (final death), Black Goku ( final death ) Zeus and Hera, Halo Ring, Pick Mazda w/ gt wing.

Democracy Match Week 4: The Striders of Rohan vs The 89th Gender Little Humans

Midgets are Black Lantern Green Lantern, Atrocitus, Ganthet w/ Dwarf Ring #3 , Sayd w/ Dwarf Ring #4, Thundercracker, Bat-Mite w/ Dwarf Ring #6, Mighty Mouse, Mighty Mousette, Skywarp, Depa Billiba in a Jedi V-Wing, Hecate, Air Zonk, Power Dump, Astra, Quasar, Star Fox w/ a Blue Lightsaber in an Arwing, Star Wolf w/ a Double Bladed Red Lightsaber in a TIE Interceptor, Lando Calrissean and Lobot in Princess Leias Y-Wing, ALF and Nien Numb in a 2 seater Y-Wing, Zombie Yellow Lantern, Yellow Lantern #1a and #2a, Chip n Dale Rescue Rangers both with Indigo Lantern Rings, Harambe w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Vampire Darth Maul w/ THE Orange Lantern Ring and The Darksaber, Allia Atreides w/ a Star Saphirre Ring, Soundblaster w Decepticon Cassettes #1-3, Red Rumble, and Blue Frenzy, Sith Decepticon Cassette Josh Houslander in Josh's A-Wing, Homeslice and Artifact the Asgardian Dolemite in a 2 seater Y-Wing, OA Guardian #1-2, Powerglide, Richie Rich and Dollar Bill in a TIE Bomber, Black Lantern Vampire, and a Black Lantern Hammer Bro.

Striders are Ultraman, Superwoman, Power Ring, Steppenwolf w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring, Rage w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Odin, Baron Mordo, IG Bounty Hunter in a X-Wing, T-2, T-3, Dion, Trail Breaker, Grapple, Chromia, Jedi Master #1a in a TIE Silencer, Mandalorian #1 in a TIE Fighter,  Mandalorian #2 in Kyles Sith Fighter,  Mandalorian #3 in a Y-Wing,  Mandalorian #4 in a Y-Wing,  Mandalorian #5 in a Stealth X-Wing, All of the following characters in The Executrix Dark Troopers #1-5, Greef Karga, Cara Dune, Death Trooper #1a and #2a, Vampire Death Trooper, Black lantern Death Trooper, Zombie Death Trooper, Storm Trooper #1a and #2a, Black Lantern Strom Trooper, Zombie Storm Trooper, and Vampire Storm Trooper - (end of characters in The Executrix) , Blue Lantern #1a and #2a, Vampire Blue Lantern, Zombie Blue Lantern, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Metal Bender #1, Rebel Trooper #1a in a B-Wing, Rebel Trooper #2a in a X-Wing, Jedi Knight #1a in Princess Leias stealth X-Wing. 

 Vote Away! This is a good one. 

S12 W3: Dinomites vs Sith Aids

The Dinomites are: Aquaman King Of Atlantis w/GL Ring, Ice w/star sapphire ring, Vampire Larfleeze, The Aerielbots: (Silverbolt, Air Raid, Skydive, Fireflight, SlingShot), The Technibots:  (Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, Nosecone), Quintessa, Bowser: King of Koopa, Captain Tarples, Kit Fisto, Nadar Vebb, Red Lantern Mera, A submarine containing Chirrut Inwee, Baze Malbus, Android Human Torch

The Sith Aids are: Voltron (Vehicle)1-5 (4 deaths), Sharkticon 3-7(4 deaths), Ultra man, Jet Jaguar, Suki, Sukka, Ty Lee, Gnaw, Sludge (4 deaths), Swoop(4 deaths), Weapon H, Cosmic Spiderman, Hancock, Amon, Unsullied #1 (4 deaths), Unsullied #2 (4 deaths)

Ready for the Artifact “Turd of the Week”? Good. Don’t bother buckling up. This ride will be short.

The water runs red with the blood of Tarples, Kit Fisto and Nadar Vebb who unsuccessfully tried to swim away from the Sharkticons. Baze Malbus sends all 5 of them to the graveyard with a few well placed torpedoes. 

Nearby, Quintessa with Bowser riding on her shoulder is taking on Ultra man and Jet Jaguar. Bowser is able to blind Jet Jaguar with a fireball to the eye while Quintessa obliterates his skull. Ultra man is trying to hold his own. He is able to rip the King of Koopa off her shoulder and drown him but Quintessa is almost too much. Swoop “swoops” in and finishes the job but involuntarily kills his teammate in the process. Swoop, Gnaw and Sludge then team up with Voltron who has just gone on a killing spree finishing off the Arielbots thanks to a little help in the sky from Hancock. The Technibots prove a tougher match and in the end all Technibots and Voltron are defeated. Gnaw, Sludge and Swoop were able to blow up the submarine for the Dinomites as well but the Human Torch was able to evacuate before the explosion and with the help of Ice, did a hot and cold number on the remaining robots. 

The two unsullied try to throw their spears at Aquaman but the attempt is easily thwarted as he knocks them aside with his trident and then kills the two. He then shoots a jet of water into the air as Hancock is swooping by and Ice hits the water, freezing it into an icicle of death impaling the guy who looks like The Fresh Prince. 

Amon uses some Avatar trickery that I couldn’t be bothered to google and with the help of Weapon H they avenge their comrade and Ice is defeated. Mera and Aquaman use their combined Lantern power as well as their command of the ocean to put an end to Amon and Weapon H just as they finish the job. At some point in this skirmish, the turbulent waves proved too much for Suki, Sukka and Ty Lee and they faced an unceremonious death at the hand of a lazy writer who is already behind schedule. 

Cosmic Spiderman spins Mera into a cosmic web and before he has a chance to kill her, Vampire Larfleeze bites his neck and drinks up some of that good cosmic blood. Spidey uses a web to grab a nearby tree and while wrapping Larfleeze in a bear hug, propels the two of them into a giant limb that impales both their bodies killing them both. Get it? I used a stick to kill the immortal Larfleeze because he is a vampire. I thought it was funny. 

Consortium Week 3: House Elves vs Be Gentle

House Elevs are Emperor Joker. Godzilla (last life), BlackBolt, Seaworm #1a, Black Lantern Seaworm, Vampire Seaworm, Zombie Seaworm (last life), Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Alpha, Zordon, Goldar, Fenster, Donald Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, louie, Duey, Shaak Ti, The Monkguin, Jar Jar Binks, Lucca Brazzi, Liono, and Waterbender #1, 2, and 3. 

Gentle is Zilla, Plo Koon w/ green lantern ring, The Terracons: Hunger, Ripsnapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, CutThroat, Cindersaur, Namorita, Full Spectrum Kyle raynor, Dr Strange, Wong, The Tigersharks : Mako w/ a yellow lantern ring, Walro, Dolph, ocavia, Lorca, Bronc, Angel, and Gupp, Chuck Norris in a penguin suit, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer, Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Yellow Lantern ScareCrow, Kratos, Black Lantern Batman in Beskar Armour, Maggi, and Cave Troll #1 (last life).

Charles Barkleys Turrible Decisions vs The Striders of Rohan

 Barkleys Turrible Decisions are Omniman, Invincible, Battlebeats, Thrag, and Allen the Alien, Nautilator, Snaptrap, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Killer Croc, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet, Piplup, Eevee, and Detective Pikachu, Resplendent Man, Kitana w/ a frog suit, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Al Capone w/ Power Ring, Venom (Flash Thompson) , HotSpot, Blades, Streetwise, Groove, and First Aid, T-X Terminator, The Whither.

The Striders of Rohan are Power Ring, Earth 2 Batman w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Rage w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Morg w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Arwen Evenstar w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Zombie King Kong, Submarine with Death Trooper #1a and #2a, Storm Trooper #1a and #1b, and Literally Your old Lady (end of submarine characters), Blue Lantern #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Vampire Blue Lantern, Zombie Blue Lantern, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bombur, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, and Dori, Spinasaurous #1a, Spinasaurous #2, Vampire Spinosaurus, Zombie Spinasaurous, and Black Lantern Spinosaurus, Decpeticon #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Decepticon, Vampire Decepticon, Zombie Decpeticon, Cybertronian #1a and #1b, Black Lantern Cybertronian, Vampire Cybertronian, Steve Yzerman, Paul Coffey, Tim Chevaldae, Bryan Murray, Alan Trammel, Literally ur ol’ lady, Gondor Soldier #3, 12, 15, 18, 19, 20, Fedayeen #5 (last life), Jedi Knight #1a and 1b, Zombie Jedi Knight, Vampire Jedi Knight, Black Lantern Jedi Knight, and Swamp Bender #1 and 2. 

Before the match even stars can we get some rips in chat for : Laya, Scarlett, Piplup, Eevee, Detective Pikachu, Kano, Sonja Blade, Jax, Steve Yzerman, Paul Coffey, Tim Chevaldae, Bryan Murray, Alan Trammel, Gondor Soldier #2, 12, 15, 18, 19, and 20, Fedayeen #5, Jedi Knight #1a, Jedi Knight #1b, Thorin Oakenshield, Bifur, Bofer, Bomber, Balin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, Fili, Kili, Ori, Nori, and Dori, Spinasaurous #1a, Spinasaurous #2,  Vampire Spinasaurous, and Zombie Spinasaurous and Black Lantern Spineasaurous

Now,,on to the match. This takes place in Atlantis.

As soon as they drop in the water the troopers and literally your old lady in the submarine notice Resplendent Man as a huge threat, so they fire every missile they can possibly shoot at him but he takes it like a champ. Then punches the submarine into oblivion killing the troopers and literally your old lady, before Resplendent Man receives a Green Lantern made Axe to the neck from Earth 2 batman, in Resplendent Man's last breath he shoots heat vision through the head of Earth 2 batman.

Zombie king kong seemed intimidating, but as soon as the seacons realized he couldn't swim they immediately rush to him and tear him apart. The Jedi Knights rush towards the seacons to avenge Kong but as soon as they turn on their lightsabers they see that they don't work here, and before they can even look back up there dead as the seacons burnt them to death with lasers. 

Arwen Evanstar watching from afar away sees the dominating of the seacons and contacts Power Ring, Morg, Rage, Baron Zemo, and Berry Sanders through telepathy to warn them. With Barry Sanders shooting the seacons with ice balls this allows the lanterns to blow through their metal skin with lantern blasts, Leaving Berry Sanders and Rage alive after defeating the seacons. Killer Croc then comes from behind and grabs them both by the neck and rips their heads off with his teeth. 

Swamp Bender #1 and 2 see that they don't have any vines to work with, and don't like their chances with just water, so they form bubbles around them and retreat.

Venom swims towards the 2 cybertronians thinking he might have a slight advantage but his mobility suffers greatly as the Transformers rip him apart.

Striders see that they are greatly overmatched and outnumbered to this point, and know that all that can save them is hope. Arwen, Black Lantern Blue Lantern, Blue Lantern #1a, Blue Lantern #1b, Vampire Blue Lantern, and Zombie Blue Lantern use all the hope they've got and combine the power to create the biggest blast you'll ever see, destroying  Omniman, Invincible, Battlebeast, Thrag, and Allen the Alien. This power disintegrated all of the blue lanterns and Zombie Decepticon, Vampire Decepticon, and Grapple who got caught in the range. 

The protectobots go after trail breaker and ultimately overpowering the durable transformer. The remaining protectobots, hotspot and groove, take out Vampire Cybertronian. 

Killer Croc, Bobbing and weaving through the water at high speeds smacks Black Lantern Cybertronian to the ground which sets up T-x Terminator to blast him to dust with her plasma cannon. Killer Croc then moves onto the 2 decepticon and is just way too fast, ripping them both apart and standing triumphantly over the metal floating through the ocean. 

Dion, being the only strider left, tries to avenge his strider brothers by sneaking up on killer croc, but in sacrifice, kitana breaks out of her frog suit and throws her to fans in the cracks of his metal skin then ripping them out thus killing dion and resulting in kitana drowning herself.

Week 3: TEAM vs Crack Danks

 TEAM: Sharkticon #1-10, Jack Lalane, Emerald Weapon, Morg, Trypticon (Brunt and Full-Tilt as part of Trypticon), Superboy, Iron Hide, Leader One, Cy-Kill, Crasher, Cop-Tor, Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, Perceptor

Crack Danks: Jaws 2, Jaws 3, The Planteers (Earth, Wind, Fire, Water, Heart), Dr. Manhattan w/ White Lantern Ring, Green Lantern Penguin, Leonardo w/ Katana Blade (-4), Incredible Hulk (-4), Krampus, Whitmore Bludd, Sheeana Brugh, Jolee Fishdo, Obi Wan Kenobi w/ Force Saber, Knuckles, Wario, King Hippo, Goldmember

So what had happened was, Elon Musk was supposed to be rich and donate a bunch of breathing apparatuses, but then the bovid said not happening. Soooo Jack Lalane, Krampus, Whitmore Bludd, Sheeana Brugh, Knuckles, Wario, and Goldmember basically drowned off the start. Obi Wan is a badass jedi so he has his own breathing apparatus and King Hippo, while being a human and only nicknamed hippo, was somehow able to survive underwater like a normal hippo.

After leaving the dead bodies, Crack Dank advances towards the lost city of Atlantis where TEAM has already taken control. The Sharkticons keep watch along the borders of the city, anxiously waiting for their next prey. Superboy attempts to devise a defense plan as he knows an enemy is coming. The various transformers and go bots await next to Superboy for a glorious battle in the sea. As for Crack Dank’s advance, Dr. Manhattan, having foresight, already knows how this encounter will end… and continues anyways towards the city leading his friendlies.

Leonardo wants to create a sneak attack plan, but Jaws 2 and 3 go straight for the 10 sharkticons and devour them. The final three sharkticons are able to kill Jaws 3 but are quickly finished themselves by Jaws 2. This movement awakens Emerald Weapon who is sitting dormant at the bottom of the ocean and he attacks Jaws 2 destroying the massive shark to pieces. Upon seeing Emerald Weapon, Leonardo advances with his katana blade and slices and dices the final fantasy boss. TEAM hears the fighting occurring at the edge of Atlantis and the transformers move towards the action. Trypticon approaches Crack Danks with pure hatred as it is the only thing he can feel. He annihilates the Planteers along with Green Lantern Penguin. Hulk becomes enraged seeing his teammates be killed so easily and one punches Trypticon into a million pieces. Hulk continues his raging attack and grabs Leader One and throws him into Cy-Kill and Crasher while quickly moving towards Cop-tor and ripping the “transformer” in half.

Meanwhile, Jolee Fishdo and Obi Wan have been swimming around the battle to come up behind Morg and use their light sticks to easily cut through Morg. Unfortunately for the two Jedi, Superboy heard Morg’s outcry when being killed. The young Superboy quickly moves towards the two Jedi and Superboy uses his freeze breath to freeze the two and then punch them into a million pieces each. As Superboy was preoccupied, Hulk continued his frenzy of rage and obliterated Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, and Perceptor. In his destructive wake, Hulk accidently killed his own teammate King Hippo. Superboy has had enough of Hulk and throws him straight up out of the water and into space, where Hulk slowly moves towards the sun with no more control on his movement in the vacuum of space.

On his own adventure on the ocean floor, Leonardo finds a green unknown substance resting on the ocean floor… 

From what Superboy and Iron Hide can see, it is just them two versus Dr. Manhattan. Iron Hide shoots missiles at the glowing being to which no harm is taken by Dr. Manhattan. Dr. Manhattan responds, “There is no use in that, I already know how this encounter ends. It is trivial to even try to stop the future from occurring.” Superboy replies, “Oh really? And how exactly do you see this ending, because it’s not looking too good for you.” Dr. Manhattan says “I know.” To which Superboy has had enough and approaches Dr. Manhattan to punch him into last the milenia, Dr. Manhattan quickly crushes Iron Hide into the size of a smart car and accepts Superboy’s attacks. He continues to take hits until he is finally receiving pain and begins to die, at the same time Superboy finally becomes tired. Superboy winds up to give one last final blow to Dr. Manhattan and kill the all powerful being. Dr. Manhattan says in his final breaths “Thank you for making me feel human again” and with a smile Dr. Manhattan is defeated by the final punch. Dr. Manhattan’s foresight has played out exactly as here foresaw it. Superboy, tired beyond his own belief, believes he has won the battle, but Leonardo comes forth with a green tainted blade and stabs the young kryptonian through the heart.

FFL 2021 Week 3: Acrobats vs. Evil Midgets

 *-4 denotes 4 deaths*

Acrobatic Assassins: Martian Manhunter -4, Miss Martian -4, Poseidon -4, Jaws, Avatar Korra, Katara w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Desna, Eskam John Stewart w/ Green and Blue Lantern Rings, Indigo-1, Munk, Vampire Dr. Manhattan, Elf #9-11, Orc #30-50, and Uruk Hai #6-11

Evil Midgets: Seaspray, Abe Sapien, Mimic, Water Bender #2, Allicon #1-5, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Joan Jett in a Frog Suit, OA Guardian #1-2, Yellow Lantern #1A and 2A, Michelangelo, Toad, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, Combaticons consisting of Onslaught, Brawl, Blast-Off, Swindle, Vertex, and the Stunticons consisting of Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Dead End, and Dragstrip

This match takes place in the City of Atlantis.

We start with Ashoka’s Acrobatic Assassins as they spawn into Atlantis, immediately three Elves, twenty Orcs and six Uruk Hai realize that they are underwater and immediately start swimming up to the surface to breathe. The Orcs and Uruk Hai aren’t able to hold their breath long enough and drown before they can reach the surface. The Elves are able to hold their breath long enough to make it to the surface but then succumb to Decompression Sickness as their bodies are not used to such high pressures of the deep sea. They reached sea level too quickly, thus causing Nitrogen Bubbles to form in their brain and death.  

The Midgets spawn in and Mimic realizes he’s under water, thankfully his mimic abilities give him gills from Jaws. The Combaticons and Stunticons immediately combine to become Bruticus and Menasor. Avatar Korra, Katara, Desna and Eska work together to take on Menasor, while John Stewart, Indigo-1, and Munk work together to combat Bruticus. 

The water benders first try to combat Menasor by freezing trying to freeze the giant transformer in place but that does not work as it just easily breaks the frozen water every time. Menasor is annoyed with the frozen water and takes a slash at the benders with his sword killing both Desna and Eska. Korra becomes enraged after seeing her cousins killed and becomes enraged as she attacks Menasor with a flurry of water bending attacks. Katara also does the same. Martian Manhunter sees the water benders struggling with the large transformer. Then out of the corner of his eye he sees a trident laying on the ground, so he grabs it and goes to help out the benders. He comes speeding across the back of Menasor and slashes the Trident across the back of the transformer causing significant damage. Then Katara starts hitting Menasor with Blue Lantern energy blasts while Martian Manhunter hits the Mechanical Beast with more and more attacks from his trident. Eventually the damage it has taken has become too critical and the beast is slayed.

Michelangelo sees this naked glowing blue dude and convinces Toad, Blue Toad, and Yellow Toad to come help him take him on. Michelangelo’s convincing argument was “it’s just a glowing blue dude, what’s the worst he could do”. The group confronts the dude not realizing it’s Dr. Manhattan. Michelangelo makes some jokes about Dr. Manhattan. He is thoroughly annoyed by the group so he just decides to vaporize Michaelangelo, Toad, Blue Toad, and Yellow Toad.  

Mimic sees what Vampire Dr. Manhattan does to his teammates and decides to mimic his abilities. Mimic then begins to try and vaporize Dr. Manhattan but the doctor pushes back and is trying to defend his vaporization. The OA Guardians and Yellow Lanterns see Mimic struggling and decide to hit Dr. Manhattan with energy blasts and eventually it is just too much energy for Dr. Manhattan perishes to the squad.

Water Bender #1 sees Katara across the battlefield (or whatever it’s called underwater) and decides to attack Katara. Though the attack was futile as Katara is a much better bender and basically toys with the bender before making a sharp spear shaped chunk of frozen water and propelling it through the chest of the Water Bender.

Jaws is hungry so it decides to eat Joan Jett. 

Jaws is still hungry so it decides to eat the two OA Guardians.

Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian team up to attack Mimic. Mimic is able to copy all of the Martian's abilities but is also able to increase his intelligence by being in range of Martian Manhunter. At first the wombo combo of the two martian’s struggled with Mimic but eventually overpowered Mimic as Martian Manhunter's proficiency with a Trident was just too much for the power hungry Mimic.

As that was going on John Stewart, Indigo-1 and Munk are still trying to defeat Bruticus but they are struggling as the Transformer is just too large. The lanterns are getting tired and the Stunticons notice, so they grab Munk and rip him in half. Bruticus then shoots Jaws with an energy blast from their gun killing Jaws.

The 5 Allicons, Thundercracker, Seaspray and Skywarp start attacking Avatar Korra, Katara, Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian. The transformers are too much right off the bat for Katara and kill her immediately by a large chomp from one of the Allicons. Korra uses her water bending to hit one of the Allicons with a powerful water strike that blows it up. Miss Martian rips the jaw open of another Allicon, killing it, while Martian Manhunter speeds through the rest of the Allicons with his Trident and destroys them all. Miss Martian then uses her super speed to swim right through Seaspray with immense power and blow the transformer up. Thundercracker and Skywarp then team up to shoot their blasters at Miss Martian and kill her as she was slightly weakened from the fire from the explosion that she caused of Seaspray. 

While Martian Manhunter was fighting the transformers Abe Sapien has stealthed behind Avatar Korra and uses a B.P.R.D. issued underwater rifle to shoot Avatar Korra in the back of her head.

Martian Manhunter, now outmanned, has to face Thundercracker and Skywarp by himself. At first he struggles against the two Transformers, but his intelligence is just too high as he is able to easily predict every move the transformers make. The Transformers just keep shooting energy blasts from their built in blasters and eventually Martian Manhunter is able to get them facing each other with himself in between them and he dodges at the last second and the Transformers shoot and kill each other. Martian Manhunter then goes to help the remaining Acrobats with Bruticus.

Indigo-1 and John Stewart are clearly exhausted at this point as they have been battling with Bruticus for quite some time. Indigo-1 is so tired that she’s struggling to keep her force field up just so she can breathe underwater. Abe Sapien notices this and sets up upon an underwater hill to line up the shot with his rifle. Indigo-1’s force field keeps having little holes show up in her force field and Abe Sapien times up the shot and shoots at Indigo-1 and strikes her in the back killing her. Abe Sapien is now 2 for 2 on shots in this match. Martian Manhunter sees the trail from the rifle shot and flies up to Abe Sapien and stabs him with the Trident. 

Now it’s just John Stewart and Martian Manhunter left versus the Combaticons. John Stewart has become even weaker now and can’t defend himself anymore against Bruticus as the large Transformer hits John Stewart with a shot from it’s blaster and kills him. 

Martian Manhunter is all that’s left to face Bruticus. Just as he’s about to attack the Transformer, the sea currents begin to move violently as Poseidon has awakened to help Martian Manhunter. Poseidon uses all of his power to control the currents and pick up the Combaticons and throws them violently into a large rock formation, destroying Bruticus. This much power used by Poseidon kills him. 

Week 3 democracy match: Super Kitties err whatever vs Affirmative Action Popeyes

Kitties are: Daffy Duck, Daisy Duck, Medusa, Ocean Master in a submarine, Aqualad, Argent, Barricade, Bombshell, Shockwave, Pipes, Killer Frost, Kirby, Aphrodite, Capt. Cold, Gold Dragon #2- 1, Finick O’Dare with Trident, Darth Traya w/ Red Lantern Ring, Piplup w/ Ice flower, Squirtle, Baby Storm, Phibian #1-20 - 20.

Popeyes are: Destro, Beachhead, Road Block, Gung Ho, Lt. Flint, Shipwreck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Serpentor, Globulous, The Baroness, Head Coach, Tigger, Eeore, Rabbit, Piglet, Shawn Michaels, Marty Hannety (W/ Racoon Leaf), Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Niedhart, Mike Sroka, Laura Sroka, James Sroka, Fred Baker, Slash, Jaws (From Jaws 4), The Sando Aqua Monster, Ethan The Rabbit Fishman (W/ Beskar Armor), Bruno Samartion, Weird Al Yankovic, Luke Skywalker’s Spirit, Timmel, Tasmanian Devil, Voldemort (W/ Yellow Lantern Ring), Sentinel #4, Sentinel #5, Sentinel #6

S12 W2: TEAM vs Kittens

 TEAM is: Josh & Kids Lantern Crew (Josh plus Laya, Alex, Scarlett and Grayson all as some sort of lantern I presume), Non, Black Lantern Yoda, Black Lantern Sinestro, Duke Nukem, Post Porch Zombie Al Dogg, Bill Rizer, Lance Beam, Junkeon #7

Dramatic Kittens of Luna are:

Hermione Granger (Final Death), Apocalypse, Finich O' Dare (w/ trident & Men in Black memory eraser), Professor Minerva Mognonagle, Fred & George Weasley, Mystery Inc.: (Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, & Scooby-Dumb) in the Mystery Machine, Chun Li, Bellamy Blake, Baby Ewok #2, 3, & 7.

The Scooby doo gang is driving around the City of Detroit looking for a fight. They see a man standing on a street corner with 4 young children and decide to ask them for directions. 

“Hey there. We’re in a fantasy fantasy match. We are a little lost since none of the streetlights work in this town and every street sign is missing.” Says Fred. “Think you could help? We’re with the Kittens of Luna and are looking for our teammates. Have you seen them?” 

“Oh. We’re TEAMmates.” Answers Josh. “Can we get a lift?”

“I don’t think you are. I’ve never seen you at any of our team protests and I definitely have never seen you at one of our vegetarian BBQs.” Says Velma.

“What’s the point of a BBQ if there is no meat? What do you even cook!?” Alex asks disgustedly. 

Laya rolls her eyes at Alex and goes back to sending tweeters out on the SnapBook.

“Why, Cauliflower steaks of course! Zoinks!” says Shaggy. 

“Oh, God!” Alex blurts out as he begins to vomit on the side of the road at the very thought of eating a vegetable.

“Regardless, you aren’t on our team so I can’t let you in.” Says Fred

“We’re for sure on the TEAM. I assure you.” Says Josh

“No you’re not. You don’t-- wait. Are you saying team or TEAM?”

“Yes”

“Come on, be serious.”

“We are TEAMmates. I assure you.”

“You’re doing it again! You’re saying ‘TEAM’ ambiguously just to confuse us!”

“No I’m not. You’re the one who doesn’t know that we’re all on the same TEAM.” 

“Cut it out!” screams Fred

“Are you going to let us in or not?” Asked Josh.

“I don’t think so.” Fred responded smugly.

“Suit yourself…”

Within seconds the young Houslander soldiers had the car doors opened and after a few quick blasts of some voodoo lantern magic, the Mystery Machine was full of corpses. Josh and Alex piled the bodies on the road and Laya hopped in the driver’s seat. Scarlett and Grayson hopped in back with Alex and were playing with the baby ewoks. As Josh was climbing into the passenger seat, a giant explosion went off a few blocks away and the earth shook as several buildings fell into a mountain of rubble. 

“Aww. We missed the match. I wonder if we won.” said Josh as he shut the door. “I’m sure there will be a recap.”

As Laya sped away she forgot she didn’t really know how to drive and the car swerved off an overpass and exploded moments later as it made impact in a magnificent fireball on I-375.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins Vs. Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Assassins: Lantern Neo, Elastigirl and Violet, Spider-Woman, The Ancient One, Vampire Capt. Marvel, Jedi Master Joe Levine, Nightsister Kelly, and Jedi Youngling Abby, Orcs #19-29, Zombies #16-20, and Elf #9-11

Barkley’s: Robo-Barkley, Deadpool, Killer Kroc, Usagi Yojimbo (w/ Green Lightsaber) & Jotaro, Princess Laya of the Salad Kingdom w/ Pokemon Trainer Scarlet w/ Eevee, Piplup, and Detective Pikachu, Shrek & Donkey, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Groove, Streetwise, Blades, & First Aid & Purple Dragon #1

    Cars rush by in the night as the battle begins, and Spider-Woman swings from building to building. Suddenly, Pokemon Trainer Scarlet throws Eevee in a surprise attack at Spider-Woman, electrocuting her, causing Spider-Woman to fall to her death. Princess Laya then took Spider-Woman’s web shooters, mistaking them for iceberg lettuce. She then choked to death, as she realizes too late that she should’ve stuck to broccoli. Robo-Barkley then comes up behind Jedi Master Joe, and using his superior NBA strength, breaks his kneck; in revenge, Nightsister Kelly and Youngling Abby sneak attack Robo-Barkley and push his into oncoming traffic. He dies a gruesome death. The Zombies move steadily toward Shrek and Donkey as Donkey mocks Skrek’s scottish accent and looks for a good Gyro place. Detective Pikachu wants to come with, so he straggles along, stopping every few steps to investigate the going ons throughout Detroit on their journey for Gyros. When they finally find a Gyro place, the zombies speed up and eat Shrek and Pikachu while they scream and try to run away. ..They leave Donkey alone because he sounds like Eddie Murphy and they like him. Black Lantern Neo runs around cracking jokes as Usagi Yojimbo stealthily follows him and gets his green lightsaber ready. Yojimbo attacks with his lightsaber, but Lantern Neo hears him coming. Lantern Neo’s arm gets slashed, hanging by a thread, but he knocks Yojimbo’s lightsaber down (because he can) and kills him in one swift motion. Jotaro then sneaks up behind Neo and drop kicks him with his sweet moves. This gives Neo a deadly concussion, and brain damage, to the point of no return. 

The Ancient one then grabs Deadpool and Killer Kroc and uses magic to push them up against an already crumbling brick wall. Using their power of astral projection, they then confuse Killer Kroc and Deadpool into thinking that they’re in front of them, when instead they come up behind the two idiots and pushes them into a hell dimension where they burn to death. 

Donkey then grabs Pokemon trainer Scarlet with her pokemon, Eevee and Piplup, to take them for Gyros too, but sadly, the Orcs attack and crush Scarlet and her pokemon under their large feet and with their obnoxiously large muscles. They think about leaving Donkey alone with his Gyros, but instead they crush him too because they find his jokes annoying. The Protectobots band together in retaliation in an attempt to crush the orcs. They succeed by forming Defensor to crush the orcs in revenge for Scarlet and Donkey. Being angry at the Ancient One as well, they know all of the tricks, and crush the Ancient One under their metallic grip before the Ancient One can even begin to react. Vampire Captain Marvel sees how strong the Protectobots have become, and wanting to find out how amazing the Detroit Gyros are, wants the battle to be over. She blasts the protectobots, melting them under her powerful energy blasts. Purple Dragon attempts to fight back, but fails, only landing one kill as they breath their supremely hot breath at Nightsister Kelly and her unassuming Youngling Abby. They are given mercy- killed quickly, and avenged, as Captain Marvel decimates the dragon with energy blasts once again.

Week 2 consortium: Sith Aids vs Striders of Rohan

 Sith Aids are: Weapon H, Handcock, Zombie Cyborg Superman (last life) , The Anti Monitor (last life) , and Navy Seals 3-5 (all last life) l

Striders are : John Wick w/ vibranium suit, the injustic league: Ultraman, SuperWoman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick, Owlman, Talon,  King Kong, Scorpian, Earth 2 batman, and Earth 2 Catwoman. 

Evil Midgets Vs. Be Gentle at The City of Detroit

 Evil Midgets Team: White Lantern Yoda, Darth Maul w/the darksaber and double bladed lightsaber, Gamera, Wendigo, Bat mite, skywarp

Be Gentle Team: Black Goku, Z fighters (gohan, krillin, piccolo, tien, yamcha, chaitzu, yajirobe, and bulma), super boy, king zeno 

It's a very hood like day in the city of Detroit.  The car alarms are ringing, you can hear your neighbors Aunt kicking out the gang banging nephew, and the air is filled with a nice cloud of smoke.  It all seemed to be a normal day for Yoda and his fellow peers, that is until their encounter with Goku Black and the Z fighters.  Yoda had just gone for his brisk morning walk when he had his encounter with Piccolo.  Yoda had instantly drawn his lightsaber and attacked without hesitation.  Although Piccolo did not make an attempt to attack Yoda knew his strengths and knew he could be the only green badass in Detroit ya hur

Upon seeing what Yoda had just done Bat Mite makes a run for it.  God knows where but all we know is he’s not gonna be anywhere close any soon.  Goku instantly springs into action and shoots across the sky where he is met by Skywarp.  Little does skywarp know what he is going to get into.  Goku doesn’t even bat an eye as he hits him with Dragon Fist and blows him away with ease.

A tremble begins to shake the entire city.  It couldn’t have been from the power of the Dragon Fist.  It was Gamera the want to be Godzilla. Even though Gamera isn’t Godzilla this big beast can do some damage.  Gamera comes tunneling toward Detroit with none other than Bat Mite on its back.  Causing nothing but utter destruction Gamera is running in the city and crushes King Zeno while doing so.  Superboy instantly springs to the aid of Goku where the both team together to try and take down Gamera.  Superboy uses his heat vision as Goku powers up a large Kamehameha wave while screaming like a jackass to shoot at Gamera.  In unison they strike Gamera and deal a great amount of damage.

All while this is going on Yoda and Darth Maul have taken notice to the rest of the Z fighters.  

Yoda and Tien and beginning to engage in combat.  Tien realises he can’t get close enough and tries to use the Solar Flare Technique, Yoda brushes it off like it's nothing and swings his saber taking off the head of Tien.  Wendigo is met with the unwavering power of martial arts from Krillin and Yamcha.  Where together they are able to take down Wendigo with a one two combo. As you were sitting here thinking Darth Maul couldn’t get any more badass but he does because not only does he have his double bladed lightsaber he has the Darksaber where he is able to wipe out chiaotzu, yajirobe, and bulma like Anakin did them kids in Episode 3. Ya I said it. Fuck them kids

Gohan, Krillin, Yamcha, Goku, and Superboy all regroup in centerfield at Comerica Park as it is one of the only places untouched by the utter destruction of the battle between Goku and Gamera.  Just when they thought they were alone Yoda comes walking out of the away team dugout saying “here are we” as he is followed by Maul and Bat Mite.  Numbers are in the Z fighters but intelligence and skill not so much.  Goku instantly shoots into the air to build up some sort of power.  On the ground a clash ensues between the z fighters and maul.  Maul is able to lunge at Krillin but is stopped by Yamcha’s wolf Fang fist.  Maul just laughs and utters “you are nothing” and swiftly kills both Krillin and Yamcha with his Darksaber.  Superboy is left to fight Yoda where he is holding his own until Maul is there to help.  Just as he feels so hopeless and blinding light and gut wrenching screaming is let out. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” *five episodes pass* “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH” and Goku lets down a Spirit Bomb Decimating what was left of the city of Detroit.