Le' Napoleon Brigade is Penguin, Catwoman, Obi Wan Kenobi, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, Horse #1-18, John Mclaine, Man at Arms & Teela, Morpheus, Jolly Green Giant, Sprout, The Farmer, Evil Lynn, Karg, Skeletor's Crack Troops #1-15, Princess Leia, Jedi Master #31-40, Even Piel, Skyfire, Alan Scott, Silver Dragon #1-3, & Jedi Knight #1-15.
Napoleon Bonaparte layed out a strict battle plan for today's attack and expects his brigade to easily achieve victory if they just follow the battle plan. The calvary assembles as Penguin, Catwoman, Obi Wan, Gandalf, Aragorn, Arwen, John Mclaine, Man at Arms, Teela, Morpheus, Leia, Farmer, Evil Lynn, Karg, Jedi Master #31, 32, & 33, & Even Piel all get on a horse (Sprout is sharing with his new BFF Even Piel). They begin to ride into battle but The Right Wing is no where to be found; Princess Leia says "I have a bad feeling about this". Aragorn, who always seems to have a sense of what is going to happen next yells "Quick! Everybody kill their horse". As he is saying it he pulls out the sword that cut the ring and kills his own horse. Gandalf & John Mclaine don't get it but they listen and kill their horses as well. Penguin stabs his without thinking twice and Evil Lynn & Karg do the same. Arwen says "but why are we killing these beautiful animals, I refuse". Gandalf says "Just listen to him"! Obi Wan and Even Piel listen and so do Man at Arms, Morpheus, and Princess Leia but the 3 other stubborn Jedi Masters do not follow the strange request. Just then the once tame horses throw their riders off of their backs and turn around in a fierce attack which is very unhorse-like. They bite the necks of their riders killing Jedi Master #31, 32, & 33, Teela, Catwoman, & Arwen. Aragorn knows his horses well and hated committing such an evil but he knew that there was something very wrong with the horses. What had happened was simple, you see Poseiden is not just the god of the sea but is the god of two other things as well one of them being horses. With nothing more than a thought the Greek god turned the horses against their masters. Once the suprise was over the Jedi Knights and Masters who were on foot rushed in to dispatch the other 6 crazed horses with their lightsabers but not before Horse #2 stomps The Farmer to death. The brigade begins to run up the snowy hill to attempt to fortify their positions, despite how much harder it is to do without horses. Poseiden then jumps into the icey water and shows off the other lesser known thing that he is the god of, which is earthquakes. He creates a fairly large quake which completely throws Le Petit Caporal's team off guard. Then John Stewart flies in with a huge green bubble trailing behind him. He lowers the bubble onto the ground and opens it revealing the entire Right Wing team which he had suspended in mid-air above the battlefield so they would not be hurt in the earthquake. The quake affected everybody on the team but before Poseiden jumped into the water he targeted it around the most visible threat. The Jolly Green Giant was hit hard by the quake and as they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall. As he hit the frosty ground the giant broke many bones (or maybe it's stalks?) including its neck. As they are rushing in toward the retreating brigade Duncan Idaho gets a laugh from the army soldiers as he quips "I always hated frozen vegetables". Gen. Grant replies with "What's a frozen vegetable". The well-trained Snow Troopers followed by their elite counterparts use their blasters while both the American and Gondor soldiers back them up with bullets and arrows. They all use the element of suprise to start shooting at the Jedi's who are holding up the rear of Le' Napoleon Brigade who already seems to be retreating to the top of the hill. They are very successful at taking them off guard as they mow down all of the Jedi except Knight #1, 2, & 3 who are in the air riding on the 3 Silver Dragons. The Jedi only manage to deflect blaster bolts back at the elite Stormtroopers who although being well-trained are not as good at blending in with the snow-covered landscape; Elite Stormtrooper #4, 5, 6, 9, 11, & 12 all die when they are hit by their own returned blaster bolts. John Stewart takes to the air leading the 4 Droid ships behind him against the 3 Silver Dragons. The Silver Dragons fly in close to the droid ships to find out that their firey breath does not have much affect on the metal hulls of the droids, but in a daring move the 3 Jedi's jump off the backs of the dragons and onto the large flying droids. They tear them apart with their lightsabers but unfortunetely by the time they are done they have nothing to jump back on to because all 3 of their dragons are already dead. John Stewart had blown Dragons #1 & 3 apart with his power ring. Stewart then moved against Dragon #2 but was hit in the back by a missle from Skyfire who is being ordered around by Evil Lynn from inside his cockpit. The saving of Dragon #2 is somewhat in vein though as Droid Fighter Ship #4 targets it with a proton torpedo and kills it. A dog fight ensues between the last remaining droid ship and Starfire but it does not last very long as Starfire swoops in behind the droid and blows it out of the air. Zues ignores what is going on in the rest of the battle because he has only one thing in mind, and that is to find Obi Wan and get revenge for what happened in week 2 (this is what forced rivalries are all about baby). Zues lands in front of Obi Wan causing the Jedi Master to stop in his tracks. Zues' voice echos as he states "You may have gotten lucky last time mortal but you will not be so successful in our rematch". "I will do what I must" Obi Wan replies as he backs away from the mighty lightning wielding god with his lightsaber drawn. Zues screams "You dare stand alone against the ruler of Mt. Olympus". "Not Alone" is the last thing Zues hears as Gandalf and Even Piel come from behind to rescue their friend. Gandalf blasts the god with Valor power from his staff and Even Piel provides his strongest possible force push to send Zues face first into the snow at Obi Wan's feet giving Kenobi the oppurtunity to once again remove Zues' head. Sprout yells "That's what I'm talkin about"! as he thinks to himself "why the hell did they play a walking vegetable in the arctic, I am freezing my buds off". Mr. Freeze freezes Karg to the already frozen ground and then Green Goblin pumpkin bombs the icicled Karg to bits from the air. Aragorn & Man at Arms volunteer to hold off the charging Right Wing as the rest of the retreating Napoleonic forces rush to take cover on the snow covered hills. Aragorn and Man at Arms fight fiercely after the deaths of Teela and Arwen have sent them into complete rages, but they are grossely outnumbered. Despite how good things look The Right Wing's forces are still trying to figure out what the other side is trying to accomplish. Man at Arms gets a couple of Gondor's soldiers and Aragorn gets a couple Storm Troopers but they are overtaken as Aragorn is simultaneousely stabbed by Poseiden's trident and Idaho's blade and Man at Arms is ripped apart by Blackfire after Storm struck him with lightning. Athena, the god of strategy looks over to the person who she has recently developed much respect for, Ullysses S. Grant. She says "There is something that scares me about this battle". Gen Grant then gets a startled look on his face as he remembers "this is exactly like something I studied at West Pointe". At that exact second every remaining member of Le' Napoleon Brigade pops up from on top of the hill above them. Gandalf gives the signal and they all open fire from above including a well-timed strafing run from Skyfire. Unworried; The Right Wing is completely prepared for a ranged attack as the Jedi's, Blackfire, & Mr. Freeze all put up defenses to guard their team. They are once again shocked as these defenses are uneeded. Every one of the shots from Penguin's umbrella machine gun, Gandalf's staff, John Mclaine's Beretta, Morpheus' twin Glocks, Sprout's harsh words, Skeletor's Crack Troop's lazer beams, Princess Leia's blaster bolts, & Skyfire's numerous forms of artillery missed the people down below. Now, Gen. Grant remembers what this battle has been reminding him of. Just like Napoleon did to the combined Russian and Austrian forces in 1805 at The Battle of Austerlitz over the Satschen frozen ponds the brigades shots were not being aimed at the soldiers but at the ice below them. The ice beneath their feet cracks apart due to their weight and the destruction done to it and The Right Wing falls into the sub-zero temperatured waters as John Mclaine yells "Yipee Kai Yai Motherf@#*^rs". To add a cosmic twist Alan Scott then puts a thick wall of green energy over the top of the water to ensure that nobody can get out. Only the Green Goblin who was in the air on his glider and Blackfire who was quick enough to fly away as the ice was destroyed under her feet are not trapped underneath the ice (Storm could not call the winds in fast enough to keep herself from eminent doom). The remainng Elite Storm Troopers, Snow Troopers, Army Soldiers, forces of Gondor, Jedi Knights, Gen. Grant, Duncan Idaho, Athena, & Storm all drown in the freezing cold waters. Poseiden (it's his home) & Mr. Freeze (because of his suit) are unaffected by the cold water but are still trapped under the thick wall of green energy. They escape via the icey depths of the water while Blackfire and Green Goblin retreat in the air.
LE' NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!
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1 comment:
Shit yeah!! That was a bad ass story! I was on the edge of my seat up until the last minute!! I wasn't sure if my peeps were going to pull it off but they did!
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