Better Than All of You vs Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Better Than All of You is Lex Luther, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), The Terminator (from T-1), The Terminator (from T-2), Terminator #1-12, Predator #1-12, Beachhead, Rambo, N.S.-5 #1-12, Ghost Rider, Ric Flair, Ole Anderson, Arn Anderson, & Tully Blanchard, Orc #1-12, Agent Smith, Army Soldier #1-12.

Hannah Montana......... are Swimmell, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Luminara Unduli & Barress Offee, David Beckham, Octane, Ms. Marvel, Cole Sear, Maxima, Red Dragon #1-3, Pikachu, Ellen Ripley, The Colonial Marines (Lt. Gorman, Bishop 341-B, Corp. Ferro, Corp. Dietrich, PFC Hudson, PFC Spunkmeyer, PFC Vasquez, Pvt. Drake, Pvt. Frost, Pvt. Crowe, Pvt. Wierzbowski, Corp. Hicks, Gunnery Sgt. Apone), Dave Bowman: The Starchild, HAL 9000, Frank Poole, Karallen, The Cloverfield Monster, Spider Man, The Terminator (from T-3), Shawn Farrell, Roger Murtaugh & Martin Riggs, Bryan Beckerman, IG-88, Zam Wessel, Clone Trooper #100, Starship Trooper #100, Angel, Metroid #1-6, Donkey Kong, Qui Gon Jinn, Gen. Grievous, Buffy Summers, Leon, Rick Deckard, Albus Dumbledore, Agamemnon & Juno, Dante, Tlaloc, Hannah Montana, Jar Jar Binks, Dora w/ her backpack & Boots, Harry Potter, Bizarro Superman, Willow Rosenberg, Brangelina w/ Zahara, & Dozer #1.


Hannah Montana & Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos has appeared in the Artic first and is ready for battle. Not expecting it to be daytime, Angel exposes himself to the sunlight and is killed. The Colonial Marines immediately fortify their team’s location. Better Than All of You are teleported to the icy tundra shortly thereafter. With an enthusiastic snarl, the twelve Orcs on Better Than All of You charge towards the Barack Obama coached team. Not one of them even flinches as they watch the oncoming Orcs stampede right for them. With a powerful stomp that actually shakes the ground; the Cloverfield Monster comes out from behind a giant glacier and crushes most of the Orcs. Only Orcs # 5 and 6 survive. They manage to escape any further attacks from Cloverfield, and slip into enemy territory. They slaughter Clone Trooper #100, Starship Trooper #100, Dora the Explorer, Backpack, and Boots before Tlaloc and Dante blast them away. Jar Jar Binks was severely injured by the Orc attack. “Whoa, dat wasa close one,” says a relived Jar Jar. All of a sudden a loud “Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,” is heard echoing through the Artic as Ric Flair and the Horsemen come strutting through the snow. “To be the man you gotta beat the man, Woooooooo,” shouts Flair. And with a mighty slam Bizarro Superman crashes down on top of Ole Anderson. “Me am not the man,” states Bizarro as he uses his freeze vision to turn Tully Blanchard into a frozen popsicle. “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson tries to go toe to toe with Bizarro, but with little success. Bizarro picks Arn up and flies up into the air and slams back down to the ground destroying Arn with a powerbomb. Then “The Dirtiest Player in the Game” gives Bizarro a low blow and is able to receive some cover from his teammate Hal Jordan. The Green Lantern, using a giant green hand throws Bizarro Superman into the Cloverfield Monster’s mouth. Bizarro, having no idea where he is punches his way out of the humongous monster’s stomach, killing it. Gunnery Sgt. Apone orders his marines to take aim on the Predators. They get the Predators in their sights as PFC Hudson exclaims “I'm ready, man, check it out. I am the ultimate badass! State of the badass art! You do NOT wanna @#!% with me. Check it out! Hey Hannah, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate badasses will protect you! Check it out! Independently targeting particle beam phalanx. Vwap! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missiles, phase-plasma pulse rifles, RPGs, we got sonic electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...” But before he can finish is overly arrogant comment, all twelve Predators, using their cloaking technology, disappear. “Wha?? Where’d they go? Great just great?” asks a confused Hudson. “Private! Check that motion detector. I want their location,” shouts Apone. “I got signals. I got readings; in front and behind... reading's off the chart! Tracker's off scale, man. They're all around us, man. Jesus,” Hudson exclaims in a full panic. Crowe, Wierzbowski, and Spunkmeyer are all blown away by rockets appearing out of what seems thin air. PFC Vasquez and Pvt. Drake both have had enough and start just unloading their M56 Smart Guns into the surrounding air. Everyone on both teams take cover from the relentless firing courtesy of the two Marines. At first glance it looks like they didn’t even hit anything. But they notice green glowing blood spatter on the snow. After a few sparks Predators #3 and 9 appear on the ground riddled with bullet holes. Corp. Dietrich and Pvt. Frost are then dragged up the side of a glacier by their ankles and leaving only a blood-soaked trail behind them. Their bodies are then thrown to the ground in front of the Colonial Marines. Predators #1, 2, 4 and 7 jump down from on top of the glacier and with their wrist blades gut Corp. Ferro, Lt. Gorman and Gunnery Sgt. Apone. Corp. Hicks is able to kill Predator #12 and Hudson takes out Predator #5. Vasquez and Drake try to take their massive M56 Smart Guns off since they are both out of ammo but Predator #11 ensnares them with his Netgun. The net begins to constrict and kills both Marines. Hudson is swarmed by Predators #6, 8 and 10. In usual fashion he goes down swinging and talking trash until the end. He is, however, able to kill Predator #10 before he himself is killed. The eight remaining Predators turn their sights on Bishop 341-B and Corp. Hicks, but Gen. Grievous jumps into the fray and eviscerates Predators #1, 2, 6 and 7 with his lightsabers. “Yoosa should follow me now, okeeday? Jar Jar says to Bishop and Hicks, but they both go off in another direction to regroup with the rest of their team. “How wuude!” exclaims Jar Jar. Lex Luthor then orders The Terminator, The T2 Terminator and Terminators #1-12 to advance on their opponents. Barack Obama in retaliation, orders The T3 Terminator, Spider-Man, Luminara Unduli, Barress Offee, IG-88, Roger Murtaugh, Martin Riggs, David Beckham, Donkey Kong, Rick Deckard, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Zahara, Karallen and Frank Poole to face the Terminators. Jar Jar Binks races back to a secure area where he finds a frightened Cole Sear. The Gungan tries to console the small child, “Don’t worry, wesa have a grand army.” “It’s not the fighting that scares me, Jar Jar. I see dead people. And with all of this killing, I’m afraid that I’ll still be able to see everyone,” responds a scared Cole. All of a sudden, the body of Rick Deckard is whipped against the protruding piece of ice that Jar Jar and Cole were hiding behind. Riggs and Murtaugh are just unloading their guns at Terminator #4, but the Terminator keeps on coming. He grabs them by their heads and slams them together, crushing their skulls. Luminara and Barress are making quick work of several Terminators; slice their way through Terminators #6, 9, 10, 11 and 12. The Terminators from T1 and T2 double team The Terminator from T3 and terminate him. Spider-Man punches into Terminator #2’s chest ripping its fuel cell out and then pulls the head off. He jams the fuel cell into the head’s mouth and throws it toward David Beckham. Beckham the lines up and kicks the Terminator’s head, “bending it” around his teammates and has it land right behind T1 and T2, blowing them up. IG-88 isn’t much of a match for Terminator #1. It tears the limbs right off of the assassin droid, disabling it. Donkey Kong is having a little too much fun with Terminator #5, as he is using him as a club, killing Terminator #3 as well. Hal Jordan decides to take flight and in one quick pass, destroys all six Metroids, Pikachu, Hal 9000 (who is pretty much useless, since there isn’t any electricity) and Dozer #1. He is then met with a pair of powerful uppercuts which knock him into the stratosphere. Ms. Marvel and Maxima both agree that their team is taking much more of a beating than they should be. They fly up into the stratosphere to continue their attack on the dazed Green Lantern. He, however, has already recovered from their previous attack. He fires two green blasts of energy at the powerful duo of women, knocking them both back. Maxima tries to use her mind control on Hal, but his will is just too strong. This does give Ms. Marvel an opportunity to hit him with a bolt of energy. Maxima then spears him driving him further up into the mesosphere. Hal Jordan is able to grab a hold of her, by creating a gigantic snake and wrapping it around the both of them. He then is able to tip them over and with their sheer velocity sends them careening down into the icy waters of the Artic. They both climb out of the freezing cold waters, and both are attacked instantly. Ms. Marvel flies into Hal Jordan, and as she standing over him ready to unleash a fury of energy blasts, she receives a chop block from Ric Flair. He then does a little strut and drops an elbow on Ms. Marvel. As she gets up, she receives several knife edge chops from Flair. Much to the 16 time World Champion’s surprise, the final chop actually kills her. Hal Jordan outfitted Flair’s arm with green protruding spikes. (Evidently, Hal Jordan is a bit of a wrestling fan, and wants Flair to make it to Wrestlemania 24 alive and well.) Maxima is trying to fend off Ghost Rider who has her tangled up with his hellfire chain. He pulls her closer and gives her the Penance Stare. Her soul burns from within, killing her. Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, and Willow Rosenberg use their combined magic to destroy the Spirit of Vengeance. Leon along with Zam Wessel goes to fight Agent Smith, who is much faster and stronger than the two of them. Leon starts firing at Agent Smith, but misses, as Smith evades every bullet. Agent Smith then kicks the Professional across the ice. Zam doesn’t put up much of a fight against the Agent, who kills her quickly. He then notices Leon getting up off the ground, but puts him back down with several quick shots from his Desert Eagle. He calmly walks across the snow covered battlefield and rolls Leon over to witness and revel in his opponent’s death. Leon grabs Smith’s hand and in his dying breath says “For… Hannah.” The Agent looks at what was placed in his hand. A grenade pin. He quickly opens Leon’s coat and sees multiple grenades strapped to the Professional’s chest. And in a massive explosion, Agent Smith, as well as Terminators #1, 4, 7, and 8, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Zahara, Karallen and Frank Poole who were all fighting close by are blown to bits. The twelve Army soldiers feel that this explosion is the perfect cover to make their attack. They sneak through the smoke and kill Donkey Kong, Hannah Montana, Corp. Hicks, and Bishop 341-B. Shawn Farrell sees this travesty and brings Miley Cyrus back to life. The ice underneath the Army Soldiers begins to crack and break apart, as Swimmell and the Creature From the Black Lagoon crash through the ice and pull the soldiers down. This is the most the Creature is able to do, because of the icy water, his body goes into shock and it drowns. Swimmell is able to annoy Army Soldier #7 to death, but is killed by the other soldiers. NS-5s #1-12 dive into the water to rescue the Army Soldiers. They pull them out, but are all attacked by Red Dragon’s #1-3. Only NS-5s #4, 9, and 11 are able to escape the dragons’ fire breath. With their powerful robotic legs, they each leap onto a different Red Dragon who are flying in the air above. Agamemnon and Juno both know how dangerous their own teammates are and decide to vaporize all six combatants flying in the air. David Beckham confronts “The Nature Boy” and backs him up against an ice pillar kicking him repeatedly. Flair doesn’t look to be too hurt from this, begins to walk toward Beckham, only to flop flat on his face. Beckham starts stomping on Flair. The “limousine ridin', jet flying, kiss stealin', wheelin' dealing, son of a gun” manages to get a hold of one of Beckham’s legs and is able to knock him to the ground. He then gets “Becks” in the figure four leg lock, snapping the famed soccer player’s legs. Rambo then comes over and stabs David Beckham in the chest, finishing him off. Buffy Summers and Beachhead engage each other in an incredible display of hand to hand combat. In the end, it was Buffy who was victorious with icicle to Beachhead’s chest. The remaining four Predators finally disable their cloaking and go to attack Ellen Ripley, Bryan Beckerman, Cole Sear, and Jar Jar Binks. However, Qui Gon Jinn fights them all off killing all but Predator #8. Ellen Ripley is able to kill the last Predator by using one of the fallen Predator’s spear. “Ooh mooey mooey I love you,” exclaims Jar Jar. In a last ditch effort, Lex Luthor, using his battle suit (you know, the green and purple one from Crisis on Infinite Earths) quickly flies over to Octane and plants a bomb on his gas tanker. He then quickly escapes the resulting explosion which kills Octane, Dante and Tlaloc. Dave Bowman: The Starchild then leads Bryan Beckerman, Gen. Grievous, Agamemnon, and Juno to finish Better Than All of You off. Hal Jordan is able to cut off two of Gen. Grievous’s arms and kill Bryan Beckerman with a giant green “Hebrew Blade”. Lex Luthor knows this is a battle that they can no longer win and orders Hal Jordan, Rambo and Ric Flair to retreat. Hannah Montana and Barack Obama’s Team congratulate each other on their victory. “Wesa goin’ home!” a relieved Jar Jar says as he jumps in the air. “You don’t understand do you Jar Jar?” asks Cole Sear. “Don’t you remember the Orc attack that you were injured in?” Jar Jar Binks looks over where that fight took place only to find his own body lying on the ground sliced open. “Jar Jar, I see dead people.”

HANNAH MONTANA AND BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS ARE VICTORIOUS!