The Outsiders are "The Golden Boy" Justin Oblak
Better Than All of You are Cobra Viper #1 & Dozer #4
Round 1: Fight! Justin instantly knows he is outmatched in this one. That is until he realizes that a Dozer is not actually a life-sized dozer. Once he realizes that a Dozer is literally a hard to see puppet from Fraggle Rock he starts to feel a bit better about his chances. That of course is until he sees the Cobra Viper and starts to worry again. This whole thing naturally takes less than a second of actual time, but I thought that it was important for everyone to know. Anyways, as the Cobra Viper began his approach Justin thought it would be cool to throw him off balance by starting to talk about random things like what was his favorite grocery store, you know, stuff like that. It worked for a little bit but not for long. The Cobra Viper finally made his way up to Justin, who by this time had found himself up against a wall. This put the Viper in the best position to begin his attack, which started and ended with several kicks to the face. Sure, Justin did get some good hits on the Cobra Viper, but it was not long before Justin was lying down dead on the platform above the pit.
Round 2: Fight! “Fine, talking not your thing, I see that now. I guess I’ll just have to kill you with my other form of kindness, my fists”. The Cobra Viper did not laugh as he is a humorless foot solider and has been trained to have no personality. That and probably the fact that what Justin said was not really funny. Justin then ran his fastest over to the soldier and kicked him straight in the balls. “Hells yeah baby, that’s how we do it at CC”. Then the Viper soldier stood straight up and round house kicked Justin straight in the head, “That’s how WE do it in the CC. You know Cobra Camp”. Justin though very hurt, still laughed a bit, as he now knew that this Cobra Viper was just a human being after all. As they both stood up Justin knew that he had the upper hand. He didn’t really know why he had the upper hand but he just had a feeling that he had it. Justin then decided that he was going to go for it as he dropkicked the soldier straight to the ground. The kick from Justin was surprisingly powerful, especially since he knocked the Viper right on top of the Dozer, killing it. The Viper realizing that he had killed the Dozer looked back to see what the crunching noise had been when he landed. Before he even had time to look back though, “The Golden Boy” landed another kick straight to the throat of the soldier, collapsing his airway, therefore killing him.
Round 3: Fight! The soldier this time ran at top speed and knocked Justin right to the ground. With Justin on the ground, there was not much he could do. Justin took a massive beating and passed out. The Cobra Viper was quite pleased with this outcome and without even waiting for the FINISH HIM to come out from the sky; he decided to knock Mr. Oblak into the pit. This of course was a big mistake on his part because Justin was not actually dead yet. The Cobra Viper walked over to Justin and started to push him over the side of the pit. Justin continued to lie motionless until the moment was right, which in this case came right as he was about to be put directly into the pit. Justin was just about to be pushed over the edge when he quickly grabbed onto the side of the ledge and with one swift move, grabbed the leg of the soldier and pulled him straight down to the bottom of the pit. Justin was ecstatic about this but was wondering why the match had not ended yet. Though he had killed the Cobra Viper, he was still severely beaten and was not going to be able to hold onto the ledge much longer. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Dozer #4 came over to “The Golden Boy” and started to stomp on his fingers. This naturally had no effect to Justin, as the feet of the Dozer basically did nothing to him. So instead of trying to wait this thing out, Justin did the only thing he could think of at the time. He decided with one last push to grab the Dozer with his left hand and pull the little guy down with him. As both Justin and the Dozer were both falling to their doom, Justin looked at the Dozer and said, “Sorry little guy”, and crushed him in hand, killing him. The next second Justin’s head hit a spike and killed him instantly but at least he would leave this pit a victor.
The Outsiders are Victorious!
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3 comments:
Great match Nick, hilarious and inventive. I am counting that as a death for all involved but the Oblak boys should be proud and ecstatic about not only their win but their shiny, brand new Go-Cart as well.
Is Nate still on waivers or does Ed have him? He would be my choice to drive the go cart.
I am assuming everyone remembers the time at sportway about ten years ago when nate didnt realize the go kart track turned and so he barreled though the tires and Bran's dumbass followed him only to get T-boned by me, prompting the always courteous sportway staff to eject ME from the track. I hold no grudge though.
...good times.
-Z
PS. can we add Bran to the draft list for next year?
PPS. can anyone tell I am bored at work?
Consider Bran added to the list (I hope he doesn't go to early). Nate on the other hand is busy hoisting the FFL Trophy with the rest of his "TEAM"mates.
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