Final Consolation Match-Round 3: Team Fred Vs Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Team Fred is Compy #29 & Smurf #10
The Murderflies are Ron Popeil

Round 1: Fight! Ron Popeil knew from the start that he had this match in the bag. Though Ron gives off a cool persona, he is actually the most arrogant man on the face of the earth. It basically comes with the territory of always having an answer to all of life’s hardest questions. This test of course would come awfully quick in this match because as soon as he heard the voice say ‘Fight’, Compy #29 had ran over to him and bitten him on the leg. He was able to quickly snap the neck of the pint-sized dinosaur, but the poison in the Compy’s bite was soon taking over his body. He could feel the poison surging through his body like a six-hour energy drink, but before it was able to attack his central nervous system, he was able to administer the anti venom that he had concocted right before his match. You see, Ron is a big Michael Crichton fan and knew that the Compy’s carried a mean poison in their system. After a minute Ron was starting to feel better and as soon as he did he pulled out a can of spray hair and sprayed it all over the face and mouth of Smurf #10, killing it in the process.

Round 2: Fight! This time Ron was going to try not to get bit by the dinosaur and instead was hoping that he could try to capture some of him for his food dehydrator. He had never had Compy Jerky and he was curious to how it might taste. He was also curious to know what would happen if he were to inject the dinosaur with the anti venom that he had created. He was going to have to wait to test all of these queries has he realized that winning the match was the most important thing right now. So instead of trying to be all creative and long winded about the whole thing, he decided to just run up to the Compy and kick him straight in the head, again snapping his head. Ron, who was naturally a creative person was very bummed that he had killed the dinosaur the same way both times. So instead of going straight over to the Smurf, he decided to inject the anti venom into the dinosaur to see if it could re-animate his body. After a minute of waiting Ron realized how stupid this idea was and instead just picked up the Compy and through him into the pit. After a while of thinking of new and cool things to do, Ron got bored with the match and decided to leave. “Hey, what about me. Aren’t you going to try to fight me too?” Ron looked back and saw the Smurf standing there in a tiff. “Oh man, I forgot about you. Hold on, I’ll be right back”. Ron then walked back to the Smurf, picked him up and threw him down into the pit. This ended the match for Ron who left the match unfulfilled and without anything new to bring home. Except of course for that sweet new Go-Cart that he had won. He figured at least one person would get something out of that thing.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Victorious!

(Editor’s Note: I was going to have Ron Popeil kill the Smurf by putting him in the food dehydrator but I just couldn’t bring myself to do that. The scene in Gremlins where she puts the Gremlin in the microwave and kills him still gives me nightmares till this day so I just couldn’t live with myself by adding to the problem.)