Better Than All of You Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Jay & Silent Bob w/ Suzanne, Ted Nugent, Hellboy, Speedy Gonzalez, Sarah Palin, & Ron Popeil.

Better Than All of You is Green Lantern & RV-D1 in an X-Wing, & Sagat.

*NOTE* (To make this match even somewhat enjoyable to read, it is an absolute must that while reading The Murderflies dialogue you do you best to mentally imitate each individuals voice). Thank You -The Watcher.



Sagat is by himself sitting in American Coney Island enjoying a Greek salad and a glass of water & waiting patiently for the battle to begin while the entire Murderfly clan is right next door at Lafayette Coney Island getting to know one another on a more personal level. “Hey Silent Bob pass the mustard, and don’t spray it all into your mouth on the way over here ya fat a**, and what you starin at me for Suzanne, you think just cause you’re a monkey you can stare at people all day, have a coney and shut the F*&$ up, if your gonna stare at somebody stare at the huge red dude across from us”. “Watch your mouth skinny or I’ll shove this beer can into it” Hellboy says as he crushes his can of Labatts and gestures to the cook to bring him another one. Jay replies with “Sorry sirs were just staring at you cause you remind us of being back home in Jersey” (Silent Bob nods). “And not just cause of the hockey team, but you kind of look like Silent Bob’s mom….. BONG”! Governor Palin chimes in with “This is so fun, this reminds me of the diners we hang out in back home in Alaska. After fishing we…” Uncle Ted interrupts with “Sorry to interrupt the most electable person since a clone of Abraham Lincoln ran along side Teddy Roosevelt but has anyone ever seen a more hellacious coney eater than me. I am like the natural casing king ready to devour any Coney that comes my way. It is damn good that every person in this city knows that when the motor city mad man comes back to town you get the coney grills fired up because I am gonna eat em up before the libs can take them away from us. The only thing that would make these coneys taste better is if I had been the one that God hand selected to have kill this animal so it could be served up to the greatest individual amongst the greatest species of creature on the greatest planet in the greatest Universe that God created. I don’t even know how many of these puppies I’ve inhaled yet but if these 4 empty plates in front of me aren’t proof that God loves me more than anybody else than I don’t know what is”. Ron Popeil is about to make a funny comment about how Suzanne is chasing Speedy around the table in a restaurant that says no pets allowed on the door when he sees an opportunity for a sale. “Hey Ted do you want to purchase one of my reusable magic napkins, they are good for about 150 uses, they are easy to store and much greener than using paper napkins, you can have one now for only”… Ted interrupts once again by saying “green, don’t preach green to me pal, I was being green way before the libs made it cool, in fact I’ve been green so long that I’m turning back to copper. I became green so long ago that they didn’t call it green yet because they hadn’t invented the color spectrum”. “Hells Yeah” Jay interjects just simply because he is so impressed at a person who can go on talking about something useless even longer than he can. He begins to finish off Deadly Tedly’s rant with “Yeah b*&^ches he doesn’t just have a green thumb he’s got a 12 inch long green” ……. Just then the door of Lafayette Coney Island swings open and a ripped, shirtless, 7 ft. tall Thailander by the name of Sagat walks in. “Are we going to start this fight or am I supposed to wait for that food to clog your arteries and kill you before I get the chance”. “Who’s Capt. Laughs” Speedy Gonzalez says in 1 second flat. “That’s Sagat, Haven’t you losers ever played Street Fighter” Jay says while Silent Bob nods yes and points at him. “He actually doesn’t appear until Street Fighter II, and isn’t a playable character until Street Fighter II Turbo” Sarah Palin adds. “How the s**t does that hot chick know Street Fighter. Palin replies with “It was in my neighborhood Laundry mat back home in Alaska, Ya’ know I’m just a regular Joe like everybody else”. Hellboy breaks up the conversation and says “Well while you guys discuss this I’ll step outside and take care of ugly”. Hellboy and Sagat then go crashing out the front window pounding on one another. “Hellboy is right, we should get outside and join the fight”. Uncle Ted says. (Minutes later) ……. The Nuge screams “Everybody take cover”! As a green coated X-Wing comes swooping in low between the buildings on a strafing run. “We’ll handle this” Jay yells defiantly as he and Silent Bob ignite their Blunt Sabers and rush into the fray followed by Suzanne. They stand firm but it does little good as Hal Jordan mows them down with a flurry of Photon Torpedoes from his X-Wing. Sagat hits Hellboy with a couple nasty drop kicks but Hellboy manages a good jump/duck combo to get out of the way of Sagat’s flying parenthesis (or whatever those things are that he shoots when you hit down, toward, high punch; and then down, toward, low kick). Hellboy then pulls out his gun and blasts Sagat right in his scarred up chest to finish what Ryu started and kill off The Street Fighter. Hellboy then races to the top of Greek Town Casino with a series of impressive jumps and then crazily jumps out toward the flying X-Wing in an attempt to land on top of the flying ship as Jordan whipped around slowly to do his next strafing run. But when he does Green Lantern banks the ship hard to the left out of the way and then pops out of the cockpit leaving RV-D1 to fly the ship in its current course. While out of the ship Green Lantern flies toward the free-falling Hellboy and sends a huge green hand to first punch him, then grab a hold of him then launch him into the air, where he is then disintegrated by a powerful burst of green energy. By the time he is hit by this attack Hal Jordan is already on his way back to the ship where RV opens up the cockpit for him to jump right back inside. Ted Nugent and Sarah Palin grab their rifles and take cover behind a fallen bill board to lend some cover fire for Ron Popeil. Ron Popeil and his assistant for the day Speedy Gonzalez wheel out his newest invention The Ronco building launcher which he built especially for this city match. Ron just simply sticks the flattened metal end (weighing only 40 pounds) and sticks it under any weak spot under any building’s foundation. With a simple flick of a switch The Ronco Building Launcher *(Patent Pending) easily throws the building (which it is guaranteed to do with any 30 story or less building) directly at the desired target (it’s O.K. to clap now) in this case being the attacking X-Wing. The machine works perfect on its very first time, but unfortunately the building is simply destroyed when it hits the protective green energy field that Green Lantern has put around his X-Wing. Ted Nugent turns to Sarah Palin and simply says “crap” as Hal Jordan’s X-Wing blows up their entire hiding spot (bill board and all). Ron Popeil looks around for his buddy Speedy as he pulls out his flexible collapsible portable and storable jet skateboard from his backpack in order to escape the battle but he then notices that Speedy is already about 20 feet ahead of him; on the way home.
BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!