National League Press Conference

The press conference, requested by general manager Artifact of GWS, is set to begin and all the reporters are waiting patiently. The anxious crowd is excited for the first ever press conference called by this relatively quiet division champion from 2008. Expecting to see Yoda and possibly Martian Manhunter, many of the reporters are stunned when Head Coach George Washington himself emerges and steps on stage. Following closely behind him is newly elected President Barack Obama, head coach of the Nick Houslander Division Champion "PSHMAPBOBOBWTBOC". Joining the two onstage is Wonder Woman from "Le' Napoleon's Brigade", Silver Surfer from "The Right Wing", Rob Van Dam from "Better than All of You", Brock Sampson from "Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies", Magneto from "The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets", Rayden from "The Syracuse Valley", and Walker Texas Ranger from "The Legion of Doom".


The crowd stirs a bit before quickly quieting as the nation's first president steps to the podium. George Washington momentarily stares at the microphones attached to the podium with a confused look on his face before beginning:

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us today. After the press conference held by the Horsemen of Apokolips on Tuesday, the National League felt it necessary to issue a formal response with a member of each team present. Our apologies to Ms. Wilson, GM of The Legion of Doom, an attempt was made to reach her for comment but she was unavailable. Walker: Texas Ranger has graciously agreed to join us today on behalf of their team."

He continued,

"True league love is more than just saying a little phrase or smiling when you are around your fellow owners. It’s about truly enjoying the people you play against. We here in the National League do not need to remember to be nice to each other because we don't get mad at other people for mentioning things like "Car Voltron" in the first place. We also don’t go off-list at the draft and take the “Veronica Mars Detective Agency” only out of spite toward another team (a NL team I might add).

What we share is a mutual respect for each other in the NL, and also for all of you in the AL, that I just don't see the American League establishing long term. Now please understand me when I say that I do truly wish the best for all of you and I hope the face of the AL can change to one of friendship and love. President Barack Obama has graciously agreed to help you all on your road to change. And also, anything that we in the NL can do to help you all, we will be glad to help. Furthermore, we would like to acknowledge that there are some very respectful teams in the AL that get lumped into all this trash talk because of a few bad apples, and to those teams, I apologize... on behalf of your fellow league mates. One of the main reasons for our doubts is that it didn't take GM Ryan Poteracki long to turn his newest recruit, one of the purist Jedi, to the dark side. Luke couldn’t even make it through a press conference without bashing the NL and saying how the AL is the “elite league” and how they are so much better than us.

Now I know the second season is still fresh, we just believe you all may still be riding high on TEAM’s victory from last year. While the AL might boast and argue that the "best teams" are in the American League, they do only get to send one team to the finals, and we cherish the opportunity to send our best against your best this spring to try and take that title from you.

Thank you all for coming. May the force be with you. May God bless America. And always, ALWAYS - NL for Life."

With those closing comments, the National League filed off stage together accepting no questions from the crowd.