Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve Vs. The Syracuse Valley

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Donkey Kong, Jenna Jameson, Dark Jedi Master #31 & 32, & Battle Droid #1-6.

The Syracuse Valley is Megatron, Starscream, Moritani Soldier #1, Hammer Bros. #1, & Little Goomba #2.

Megatron and Starscream land on the top of Eternia’s highest peak next to the rest of their team and look off into the distance where the Dark Jedi Masters have led their team to a spot of relative safety. A somewhat frightened Moritani Soldier turns to his brand new teammate Megatron and looks high into the air. He knows nothing of these two new teammates but he doesn’t have to be told that they outrank him despite his seniority on the team. He is about to speak when Starscream interrupts his thought pattern. “Shall we begin with an air strike Lord Megatron” Starscream asks. Megatron replies with “NO! We shall not be so biased to our own powers to think that our teammates are without any use; we shall let them begin the attack”. The bewildered non-Transformer trio of the team looks up at Megatron as he bellows downward “WELL BEGIN SOLDIER”! The Moritani soldier leads the Hammer Bros, and the slow moving goomba up and over the rocky mountainside in an attempt to sneak up on their enemies. “This place reminds me of my Grumman home world”, he tells his hammer wielding companion. The Decepticons wait patiently for hours while their teammates hide in the rock beds slowly moving towards The Kennel members, while the Dark Jedi feel confident in their fortified surroundings. Donkey Kong looms over the rest of his team, easily and quickly jumping from rock to rock with an ease and grace that is quite unbefitting his size. As the Moritani and his men finally reach their target he decides, as if on a power trip similar to that of Megatron’s only in a microcosm orders Little Goomba #2 to move in first. The Little Goomba waddles up slowly toward the base of Michael Vick’s minions, but Dark Jedi #31 notices him almost instantly. “Droids, Move In”! The master of the dark arts orders. “Roger Roger” Battle Droid #3 replies but in his haste he trips over the goomba leaving him vulnerable to attack. Battle Droid #2 quickly makes up for the mistake by blasting the goomba with his rifle. The goomba’s partners, knowing that they are revealed make their move. Hammer Bros. #1 throws a hammer into the head of the fallen droid #3 and then kills droid #1 as well. Moritani Soldier #1 busts up Battle Droid #5 on his way to slitting the throat of Jenna Jameson. Their success is short lived as Dark Jedi Master #32 beats Dark Jedi Master #31 to the honor of removing the Grumman goon’s head. While in the mean time Donkey Kong jumps down from his rock to crush Hammer Bros. #1. “Well, Lord Megatron, are you as unimpressed as I am”? “If that is how you feel Starscream than why don’t you do something impressive”? Starscream decides to answer that question with action rather than words. Starscream turns into his F-22 form and in a matter of seconds makes it to the destination it took his former teammates to reach in hours. He sends down a missile which easily takes out the remaining 3 droids but when he turns around to make another strafing run Donkey Kong jumps onto his back. The Mighty Megatron than transforms into his Cybertronian jet form and rockets toward the two force users. He quickly flips around, transforms, and then lands right in front of the Dark Masters whose red lightsabers are already drawn, yet the two of them stand their ground as if a canary had just landed in front of them. Dark Jedi Master #31 force leaps upward to attack him but with quicker reflexes than they possibly could have expected the Decepticon leader grabs the master of the dark side and crushes him in his grip. He slams a huge fist down onto the rock but DJM #32 quickly evades the attack. Meanwhile in the air Donkey Kong is slamming his mighty fists into the sides of the Transformer Jet, but Starscream continues to climb higher and higher into the sky. Once he has reached an insane altitude Starscream transforms back into robot form and simply allows himself to free fall along with the giant ape as they both seem to revel in the opportunity to trade punches with one another. Donkey Kong holds on tightly to Starscream with his left hand while he puts dents in the Decepticon with his right, but when Starscream fires his thrusters, Donkey Kong instinctively lets go for just a split second to put out his burning chest hair. Starscream then takes this opportunity to transform back into Jet form and fly away while the Video Game star plummets to his death. Dark Jedi Master #32 gets in a couple of good slices on Megatron as Starscream flies in to help his fellow Decepticon, but as Starscream is landing Megatron is able to kick the Dark Jedi into the air and then target him out of the sky with an artillery blast. Starscream lands and says to his general “I think I am going to enjoy this new universe we have just been thrust into”. Megatron replies with “For once Starscream, I agree”.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!