Better Than All of You vs The Right Wing

Better Than All of You is Mephisto, Predator #1 & 2, John Rambo, Jedi Guardian #1, and Army Soldiers #1-5.

The Right Wing is Silver Surfer, Quinlan Vos, Red Sonja, Donkey Kong Jr., Jack Shephard, The Pantheon: Hulk, Agamemnon, Achilles, Ajax, Andromeda, Atalanta, Cassiopea, Delphi, Hector, Paris, Jason, Perseus, Prometheus, Ulysses I and Ulysses II.

The Right Wing is teleported to an open clearing in the middle of Val Verde’s jungle, when without warning, Paris, Hector, Jason, Cassiopea, and Prometheus are all killed with a variation of bullets, arrows and strange energy blasts. Then the trees in front of them catch fire. Hulk claps his hands together and puts the fire out, but the trees are quickly engulfed in flames once again. Delphi is yanked high up into the trees by some mysterious force. The Right Wing hears Delphi scream in agony for a moment, before there is complete silence. The Right Wing race into the trees, since they are obviously sitting ducks out in the open. Silver Surfer takes to the skies to get a better vantage point of the battlefield. The smoke from the burning trees is making it increasingly harder to see, let alone breathe. Silver Surfer flies in at mach speeds, which puts the fire out and sucks the smoke away with his sheer velocity. By doing this, he also reveals Better Than All of You’s position. “Attack!” yells Agamemnon, just before he yells “Arrrrggg!” due to an arrow that was shot into his chest courtesy of John Rambo. Donkey Kong Jr. leaps from tree to tree and catapults himself off a branch onto the Army Soldiers below him. Donkey Kong Jr. smashes a barrel over Army Soldier #3’s head, breaking his neck. (Don’t ask me where he got a barrel from, that damn dirty ape always has one.) He attacks the four remaining Soldiers, and manages to maul the face off of Army Soldier #1 before the other three pump enough bullets into him to take him down. The team of Red Sonja and Quinlan Vos jump in and finish off the three Soldiers. Sonja tosses Jack Shephard one of the Army Soldier’s guns. Achilles, Andromeda, Ajax, Perseus, and Atalanta all form up and trek through the thick foliage. A net that was fired from what seems like nowhere takes down Achilles. It wraps around her, constricting until it cuts through Achilles, killing him. Perseus, in shock, leans up against a tree for a moment, but has her throat cut open by Rambo, who was hiding behind it. Atalanta and Ajax double team Rambo and knock him to the ground. They hear faintly at first, but getting louder and closer “hhhuULLKK SMASH!!” as Hulk comes crashing down, stomping Rambo into the ground. Hulk leaps away looking for more enemies. Ulysses I and Ulysses II join Ajax, Andromeda and Atalanta but are shot at by something in the trees. Atalanta fires one of her pure energy arrows back into the tree. Her shot is true; it strikes Predator #2, damaging his invisibility cloak and knocking it out of the tree. The Predator is impaled on a broken tree after he falls. The Pantheon members go to finish the Predator off, but when they get there, they hear him mimic Hulk and says, “Hulk smash,” as he’s coughing up neon green blood. Predator #2’s arm gauntlet starts beeping like a countdown and before any of them can react, it sets of a self destruct bomb that destroys everything in its radius. Mephisto teleports behind Master Vos, Red Sonja and Jack Shephard and uses his demonic magic to vaporize Jack. Silver Surfer swoops in and fires his cosmic energy at Mephisto, but he teleports away before it hits him. Jedi Guardian #1 leaps out of the trees and attacks Quinlan Vos. This match up of lightsabers isn’t much of one at all, as Master Vos makes quick work of the Guardian. They hear something else jump out of the trees, but don’t see anything. Predator #1 turns off his invisibility cloak to reveal himself. Red Sonja attacks him with her sword, but Predator #1 blocks it with his retractable claws. They engage in a ridiculously bloody duel. The trees are splattered everywhere with both bright red and neon green blood. When the dust and leaves settle, it’s hard to see whom actually has the upper had. Both combatants are injured badly. But Hulk comes in and decides to just end it himself, by grabbing Predator #1, ripping him in half. This makes no difference to Red Sonja, who has just simply lost too much blood at this point. Mephisto reappears and blasts Hulk with some magic, which turns him back into Bruce Banner. He tries to blast him again, but Quinlan Vos blocks it with his lightsaber. Silver Surfer flies in and hits Mephisto in the back with a powerful blast of cosmic energy. Then Master Vos does this sweet spin move and decapitates Mephisto with his lightsaber.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!