The Abomitrons Vs. Alice's Wonder Team

The Abomitrons are Batman & Robin in the original Batmobile, Robin, Alfred, Ace the Bat Hound, Iron Man, Chuck Norris, Cyborg Superman, Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddimore, Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, Zoë, Wash, Jane, Kaylee, Book, Anora, Simon, & River, Mega Man, Rush, Capt. America, Bucky, Nomad & Baby Bucky on a Speeder Bike, Starfire, Raven, Mario, Luigie, Tim, Paul, Steve, & The Bry in a Tank, Yaddle & Jedi Padawan #33, Blade, Blade & Whistler, Ax-battler, Gilleus Thunderhead, & Tyrius Flare, Falco, Joe Levine, Shannon Pilkinton, Jared Pilkinton, Kyle Houslander, Zachary Houslander, Sandra O, & Olif Golzig in Blackbird 1, Hancock, Leviathon, Cerberus, Beast, Phineas, Ferb, & Perry in a Land Speeder, Kirby, Stryfe, Cyborg, Mrs. Voorhies, Upgraded Agents #1-3, Abon Sur, Capt. Rex, Commander Cody, Master Jedi Mara Jade, Sledgehammer, Ratta the Hutt, Baby Colossus, Iron Monger, Motaro, Death Adder, Widget, The Ray, Montross, Ben Tennyson, Gwen, Kevin, M. Bison, Sgt. Mike Shinsky, Sandra Bullock, Théoden King, Eomer, Rohirim #1-4, Diddy Kong, Horribull & Creb, Starman, Dark Helmet w/ Ewoks #49 & 51 in an AT-ST, Elite Clone Trooper #22-31, Jedi Knight #36-45, Wookie Soldier #31-36, Ape Soldier #1-6, Starship Trooper #51-68, Naboo Soldier #1-18, Zombie #1, & Danny Ocean.

Alice’s Wonder Team is Primus, Zod, Non, Hyperion, SSJ4 Gogeta, Jorus C’baoth, Joruus C’baoth, Goblin #2-85, & Vampire #1-80.



The great and powerful Primus sits dormant in the next orbit over, in the planet form that he has been in, for many thousand years. While on the planet over 2 armies march up to each other in preparation for the battle that is about to take place. Alfred, who is appearing on the field for the first time ever since he was appointed Head Coach of the team formerly known as Reign Supremacy before Season 1 even began approaches Captain America and says: “Cap I’m going to need you to be my officer in charge on the field once this thing begins”. “Yes Sir General Pennyworth, I’ll do my best” Captain America replies. As the battle begins Capt. America looks to his old pal Bucky whom he was separated from for so long as says “Ahh this reminds me of Atlantis Attacks, I wish you were there Bucky” referring to the massive mixed armies that stand before them both. Capt. America then yells to his troops “Hancock! Batman! Norris! Yzerman! Yaddle! Blade! I trust your strike teams are ready”. “Yes Sir” Hancock replies just slightly more sarcastically then the rest of the soldiers. “He reminds me of working with Thor and Namor” Capt. America says to his squad. On the other side of the field Gen. Zod prepares his troops by saying “I have no desire to lose this battle, I expect all of you to fight hard. If the rest of you kill half as many men as I plan on killing than this ought to be easy”. As Zod begins moving in toward his big division rivals with the rest of The Wonder Team following close behind, Capt. America begins running at full speed and yells “Abomitrons Assemble” to rally his troops. Chuck Norris leads Cyborg Superman, Mega Man, Rush, Starfire, Raven, and the 3 Agents against Gen Zod. Gen Zod despite being heavily outnumbered welcomes the challenge and begins battling with the whole lot of them. Hancock has been slighted to lead a group against Non, or as he has been calling him in the locker room training sessions “Big Ugly”. Hancock’s team consists of Kirby, Stryfe, Cyborg, & Mara Jade. Iron Man teams up with Batman and his crew to square off against SSJ4 Gogeta while Capt. Malcolm Reynolds leads his crew of Serenity plus The Ghostbusters against Jorus C’baoth. Jorus’ clone Joruus on the other hand is getting ready to square off against Capt. America, Bucky, and Nomad. Falco in Blackbird 1, along with Yzerman’s crew and the mythological figures have been slated with the task of taking on Hyperion. The Blade’s and Whislter are obviously leading the charge against the vampires, in hopes that some of the battles will end early enough and in the favor of The Abomitrons so they can get some help, while Yaddle with the help of Cody and Rex are leading the majority of The Abomitron Infantry against the Goblins. Thousands of light years away Primus senses the sheer size and importance of the battle that is taking place not to far from his resting place (in relative terms of course). The mighty Primus does not even begin his transforming process but does allow himself to go into a state of relative awareness from which he will decide whether or not his slumber will be bothered. Batman with Dick Grayson riding shotgun is zipping around the grasslands in the Batmobile firing numerous weapons at SSJ4 Gogeta but they are yet to affect him. Gogeta takes flight and blasts Alfred and Ace the Bat Hound killing them both. Gogeta then lands hard on the hood of the Batmobile destroying the vehicle and sending both Batman and Robin from the car’s open cockpit. The 2 Robins, Grayson in the lead and Tim Drake following close behind simultaneously yell “Abomitrons GO”! They then break into an amazing mix of flips and acrobatics to keep Gogeta busy while Batman manages to take him off guard by restraining him with his batarang and rope. SSJ4 is not overly hindered by this device as Batman is not even able to pull him down to the ground. Gogeta begins to pull apart the restraint but in the end, the few seconds that Batman held him there was enough time for Iron Man to fly up in front of Gogeta and blast him with a plethora of weaponry to take him out. Hyperion is being chased around the skies by Falco and company in Blackbird 1 while Paul Coffey and The Bry take aim at the hero from within there tank that is being driven by Tim Cheveldae. Hyperion at first simply ignores the attacks and easily evades their projectiles but when Hyperion sees Leviathon down below he decides to take a more active role in the battle. Hyperion flies in fast toward Leviathon and blasts the creature with a healthy dose of his atomic vision (we wouldn’t want to call it heat vision, D.C. might get sue happy, and I don’t want to do that to Marvel again). Hyperion then flies super low, kicking up the grass underneath his chest and plows right thru The Abomitank (that’s what were calling it now) killing Tim Cheveldae, Paul Coffey, Steve Yzerman, & Bryan Murray. Hyperion then flies back to Leviathon and wraps his arms around the neck of the giant creature. Mark Milton then squeezes The Leviathon with so much force that he actually pops off the head of the mighty serpent. Hyperion lands back on the ground and is hit by a perfectly placed strafing run by Falco but Hyperion just stands firm in his position, unharmed by The X-Jet’s projectiles. Hyperion is then knocked to the ground as Cerberus comes plowing into the battle. Hyperion pops back up and begins punching the 3 headed animal. Hyperion flies high into the air and then comes down hard on the center head of Cerberus, breaking its neck, but as he does this Cerberus lets out an amazing yell from his left head, and left head only due to the fact that the other head is busy consuming Hyperion with one gulp. The Ghostbusters fire their proton packs at Jorus, (and no not because this is the version of C’baoth that is dead. It is just who they’re fighting today O.K.) but the Jedi Master is able to block them with his lightsaber. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds orders his crew to shoot the Jedi as well, but he is simply to quick to hit. Jorus easily mows thru Simon, Kaylee, Anora, Wash, Winston, & Egon; before Reynolds and Stanz are able to form up there ranks. Jorus is perhaps just a touch to confident as he goes in for the kill against the young River, who disarms him by kicking his lightsaber out of his hand. Once the Jedi is weaponless Zoë is able to take him out with her sawed off .30-.30. Non begins his outnumbered battle by simply ripping Cyborg apart. Kirby then tries to inhale the Kryptonian but in this case, his sucking ability does not compare to his sucking ability which is why Non is able to clap his hands together and smush the little guy. Stryfe finds out quickly that he was a bad choice for this particular squad when he tries to take control of Non’s mind just to find out that he has been lobotomized. Non then stomps Stryfe into the ground which prompts Hancock to say “Alright, now you done pissed me off”. Hancock throws Mara Jade at Non who manages to put some pretty good scratches into him with her lightsaber, but this is done more as a diversionary tactic. After Mara Jade lands safely Hancock flies in at a speed that is almost as fast as his yelling is loud. Hancock then pummels Non into submission and throws him into the ground. Non begins to brush himself off when Hancock comes back down on top of him saying “OH NO, I did not say you could get up” Mara Jade helps out with her force abilities as Hancock and her finish off The Kryptonian with a flurry of hits. Now that Extinction Alice is gone Zod seems to be enjoying his new spot of power on Alice’s Wonder Team, but not as much as he seems to be enjoying this battle. Zod punches a hole right thru Rush and then deflects Mega Man’s heat blast with his chest before he breaks off his head. Zod is slightly pushed back by Starfire’s star bolts and then seems to be even more affected by the use of Raven’s dark magic. Zod instantly recognizes Chuck Norris due to the fact that many Kryptonians wear Chuck Norris pajamas, but he is still surprised by the pain he feels when Norris lands one of his famous roundhouse kicks on him. Zod manages to get a hold of the super strong Starfire and overpower her by snapping her neck but once Cyborg Superman joins the fight Zod finds himself in a predicament that he has never experienced, and that is one of being outmatched. While Raven supplies blasts of dark energy and Norris provides a stare thru his red beard that would kill a lesser man, Cyborg Superman manages to gain the upper hand over the out-numbered Zod and kill him with a massive blow to his neck. Even the great and powerful Primus does not quite understand why he feels such an all important link to Alice’s Wonder Team, but nonetheless, it is there. With the death of Zod Primus senses that there is a danger surrounding him that despite his better judgment he simply cannot ignore. Primus transforms into his enormous planet sized space ship form and begins traveling toward the planet in which this epic battle is transpiring while he has the fleeting thought of confusion, due to the fact that he is unsure if the transformed embodiment that he has currently taken is a form that he has ever used? Back on the planet Capt. America orders Nomad to stop his speeder bike. Once stopped both Nomad and Bucky take cover behind it so they can take aim at Joruus C’baoth. Joruus easily blocks the bullets of the 2 Cap sidekicks but is then taken off guard by a dropkick from Cap himself. Joruus pops back up and attacks with his lightsaber but Captain America blocks them with his shield. Cap looks down at his shield to see that it is more scratched and scuffed than it was after the entire tenure of World War 2 and then throws the shield at the head of C’baoth. Joruus ducks out of the way and moves toward the defenseless Cap with his lightsaber, but just then Cap’s trusty shield returns to him, but not before catching Joruus in the back of the head and knocking him unconscious. Cap covers his own eyes and Nomad covers the eyes of Baby Bucky while Nomad and Bucky pump the unconscious Dark Jedi clone with some .30 m1’s and 12 gauge slugs to finish him off. “War is hell” Captain America states plainly as he and his sidekick crew follow him away from the sight. Blade and Blade have become pretty good training buddies in the locker room over the course of the season. Many think it is because of their love of swords, some think that it is because the both like working chunks of metal into their wardrobe: I think it is because they have the same name (call me crazy). The 2 Blades and Whistler waste no time going in to fight the vampires while their somewhat ragtag group of followers are at a bit of a loss as to what to do. The well-prepared and well-financed Abomitrons are second to none in the league for team preparation which is why they have armed there entire team with not only wooden stakes but with Vampire know-how before they go into a fight with their league rival, but there is more to killing a vampire than having a stake in your hand and watching a couple of videos prepared by Whistler, Alfred, and Steve Yzerman. Which is why several of The Abomitrons, despite their valiant efforts were unable to kill any vampires before they were killed themselves. That list goes a little something like this: Danny Ocean, Zombie #1, Sandra Bullock, Diddy Kong, Widget, & Ratta the Hutt. Yaddle leads her rather large squad against Goblin #2 and the goblins. Goblin #2 remembers Alice’s Wonder Team’s first ever victory against this very team as if it were only yesterday. Goblin #2 can only hope that his performance today will be on par with Goblin #1’s (Sauron rest his soul) stellar leadership that was shown in their big defeat of Reign Supremacy. Yaddle followed closely behind her Padawan (#33) blazes a trail of dead goblins as she and her apprentice take out a total of 12 at the onset of the battle. The goblins spent the afternoon chopping wood so they would have some weapons which they use to tie 2 logs together for when the AT-ST walks in. Dark Helmet does not see it coming as the 2 logs hit the side of the walker and crush it, but Ewok #49 does turn to Ewok #51 to say: “Mook-mook abu shook-nook”, which loosely translates to : “crap this sucks when it is the other way around”. Commander Cody and Capt. Rex split the Elite Clone Troopers into 2 factions each of which is then backed up by 9 Nubian Soldiers. Commander Cody and the Troopers stand by and wait for their mark as they are preceded by The Starship Troopers. The Starship Troopers are superior to the goblins in everything but numbers which they prove quickly. The 18 expendable Starship Troopers all die in the attack but before they do, they mow down 50 of the Goblins. Despite being behind The Elite Clone Troopers The Naboo Soldiers all die as well taking out 7 of the goblins. The Elite Clone Troopers take out the rest of the goblins without the Jedi Knights even having to jump into the fray. The clones are victorious but it comes at a fairly heavy price as all but Double Deuce, #24, 25, & 29 make it out alive. Blade (from He-Man) uses the skills that the other Blade taught him to take out 4 vampires before he succumbs to their vampirey might, and Whistler, the hardened vampire hunter & Abomitron Assistant Coach who technically outranks Capt. America matches that number before he is taken down himself. Eomer and Théoden King show their devotion to The Abomitron cause as they lead the Rohirim against the vampires without ever questioning why they weren’t put against the Goblins where they might be better utilized. They gladly give their lives and go down in a blaze of glory as Théoden King takes out 2 vampires, The Rohirim team up on 3 of them and then Eomer himself single-handedly killing 3 before they are all overcome by the vampires’ sheer numbers. The 6 Wookie Soldiers take out 4 vampires before they become furry feasts, but the 6 Ape Soldiers only manage to take down 2. The Jedi Knights find that their lightsabers are actually pretty great weapons against the vampires as they take down on average 2 vampires, except for Jedi Knight #36 who killed 4 all by himself (20 total). The Jedi all die as well in this raid. Vampires by definition are great fighters but the vampires seem to be significantly better when they are in such a large group of their own kind. Even the great vampire hunter himself Blade cannot overcome the vampires ferocity, but he does single-handedly take out a truly amazing 20 vampires before they eventually get to him. Capt. America runs in to rally his team and says to Bucky “this reminds me of the time the Avengers fought Dracula and his minions”. Starman uses his sonic crystal powers to kill 4 vampires but they eventually break thru his defenses to finish him off. Ben turns into Humongasaur and with the help of Gwen and Kevin, they take out 7 vampires while Sgt. Shinsky Winnies the crap out of one by staking him in the heart with his makeshift wooden M-16 bayonet; but eventually they fall victim to the vampires as well. Horribul & Creb find that they are not very susceptible to the vampire’s bites as they take out Vampire #77, and the remaining 5 are taken out by The Ray’s light power which works famously on the vampire’s hatred for sunlight. Sledgehammer, who for whatever reason has done very little in this battle turns to Capt. America to say “Is that the end of the battle”? But Cap says “I don’t know troops, this doesn’t seem over. This reminds me of the time Hulk showed up out of nowhere with a whole army of aliens”. Just then a tremendous noise is heard in the distance as a space ship bigger than any of The Abomitrons have ever seen begins to break thru the atmosphere. The night sky seems to actually get brighter, but perhaps it is simply because all eyes are made wider as the Transformer to end all Transformers forces his way into the planet and begins slowly transforming into his massive robot form. The planet sized Transformer looms half in and half out of the planet preparing for a battle that no one quite understands as Hancock turns to Capt. America and says “Yo Cap, what does this remind you of”. “I ain’t never seen anything like this before”. Replies Captain America (in homage to Kup of course). The entire Abomitron team is noticeably scared (except for Chuck Norris, but that might be because this one time I read on the internet that Primus & Unicron’s dad was a triple changer that turned into a 1)planet, 2)Chuck, & 3)Norris but I don’t know if that is true). Primus brings his enormous hand down on to the planet’s surface sending shockwaves throughout the lands and crushing Peter Venkman, Ray Stanz, The Ray, Montross, & M. Bison. Commander Cody and Cat. Rex rally the remaining Elite Clone Troopers but with a simple smack of his other hand, Primus kills them as well. At heart, Primus is a benevolent being. He has no desire for destruction like his brother Unicron, he is simply drawn to this situation because of his link to Alice’s Wonder Team and the tainted situation that he has been put in (By The Fantasy Fantasy League of course). Capt. America does his best to rally his troops around the tremendous onslaught that is going on around them. Batman and Captain America, along with Old Robin, New Robin, Old Bucky, New Bucky, and New New Bucky begin to climb up what they believe to be the center of the enormous Transformer in an attempt to…….. well honestly, I don’t think they have any idea what it is they are trying to do. Cyborg Superman and Iron Man fly up around the left side of Primus, while Hancock and Amon Sur take the left side. Iron Monger tries to fly up the middle but is swatted away like a fly that dies easier. Cerberus and his remaining 2 heads attack Primus but despite his overwhelming size in comparison to what humans are used to he is crushed with ease along with Horribul & Creb. Fineas, Ferb, & Perry zip around in their land speeder and actually start to bug Primus, which prompts Beast and Montross to run over and land them a hand. The Upgraded Agents run right up Primus’ leg and start pounding on him in random spots but even that does not seem to have much of an effect on him. Falco does some strafing runs up and down the back of Primus that make Joey, Shan, & Jared puke (or maybe they just looked in the seat next to them and saw Sandra O). Raven gets flicked out of the air by Primus’ finger and Mrs. Voorhies gets crushed under Primus’ massive foot along with Ax-battler, Motaro, and Death Adder. Capt. America once again yells “Abomitrons Assemble” to rally his troops. He then adds to the variation on the infamous battle cry “An Abomitron is defined as something that destroys everything in its path, well I see an awful big something in our path; so lets BRING IT DOWN! At that Hancock and Cyborg Superman begin pounding on the head of Primus with all of the strength they can muster, while Iron Man and Abon Sur back them up with their ranged attacks at point blank range. We join Falco and his crew aboard Blackbird 1 in the middle of a conversation that was going like this: “Just do it Falco, it may be our only chance at stopping him” Shan says to Falco from the seat right behind him. “you know we have to” Olif Golzig chimes in. “Alright, here goes nothing” Falco says as he rears up on the controls and crashes Blackbird 1 into the neck of Primus causing the ship and all its alien weaponry detonate on impact. This marks the first time that Primus is visibly hurt by one of The Abomitrons attacks. Primus stomps down his foot once again, this time in response to the pain that was just inflicted on him, but in the process kills Montross, Fineas, Ferb, Perry, Baby Colossus, & Sledgehammer. Mario in a cape and Luigie in a Tanooki suit fly up the center of Primus to draw his attention along with Batman and his peeps while Beast gets brushed off the arm of Primus and to his death along with Upgraded Agents #1 & 3. Primus despite being more powerful than any 5 of these characters is completely overwhelmed by their unified attack. Had Primus only been here to fight alongside his team before they died, this match would have been an easy victory. Hancock and Cyborg Superman realize that pounding on the head of Primus isn’t going to get the job done when Batman comes up with a new idea. He asks Robin (Grayson) if he thinks he can get up to the top to deliver a message to their fliers. Robin uses his acrobatic skills to travel as close to the top as he can get until Abon Sur sees him coming. The green lantern flies down to Robin, who relays the plan. Robin tells them that according to Batman’s calculations; the eyes of their enemy seem weak. Abon Sur flies up and relays the message but Robin loses his grip and plummets to his doom a few seconds later. Hancock and Cyborg Superman fly around to the front of Primus, and with all the velocity they can produce crash right thru both of the eyes of Primus. Primus wails crazily with the destruction of his eyes which sends Nomad and both Buckys sailing to their doom. Hancock and Cyborg Superman fly back out of Primus’ head and Hancock yells “Damn, this guy still ain’t dead”! With that thought Iron Man radios to Capt. America and tells him the following: “Cap, it’s Tony. You need to get our people out of here. I have a plan”. “What do you have in mind Stark”? Cap asks of Iron Man. “Just do it”! Iron Man says back “We can’t afford to lose any more people today. With that being said Captain America gives the order for retreat which his team thinks is crazy because this is after all a death match. The Abomitrons make their move to get as far away as possible when Iron Man flies into the head of Primus and hits the self destruct mechanism on his suit. Tony Stark then takes off his helmet and goes into the secret side compartment on the arm of his suit and pours himself a drink. Iron Man only has time to take a few sips of his drink before his high powered suit blows up and takes the mighty Primus with it.
THE ABOMITRONS ARE VICTORIOUS!