Le'Napoleon Brigade vs. The Right Wing

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 7 Match: Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Right Wing.

I look in the locker room of Le' Napoleon Brigade and see Obi Wan Kenobi, Poison Ivy, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Ring), Robin Hood & Little John, Catwoman, Master Jedi Leia Organa, John McLane, Wonder Woman, Man at Arms and Teela, Aragorn son of Arathorn and Arwen Evenstar, Horses #26-31, Silver Dragons #3-5, Even Piell, Padme Amidala and Lara Croft in a Land Speeder, Abraham Van Helsing, Power Girl, Jedi Masters #31-33, Daniel Rousseau, Ron Meyer and Fozzy Bear

Organa: We will have to come together to defeat the Right Wing.

Obi Wan Kenobi: We will Organa. Do not let your mind worry.

Ron Meyer (blurts out for no particular reason): I had a hand in the D@$*’s death!

Lara Croft: Let’s hope that you have a hand in many more today.

I then look into the locker room of The Right Wing. The Wing is Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, John Stewart, Blackfire, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Jedi Knights #16-20, Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, Scrappy-Doo, Goliath, Droid Fighter Ship #1, Quinlon Vos, Warpath, Red Sonja, Darth Malak, Shintor Beerus, Capt. Mifune and Black Panther.

Hulk: Hulk crush! Hulk kill! Hulk destroy!

Storm: Hulk, you shouldn’t steal someone else’s “trademark” lines. It’s just not right.

Darth Malak: I really don’t care whose lines he steals and long as he steals the lives of the Brigade!

I transport the teams to the forests of Endor.

Daniel Rousseau is hidden on the middle branches of a tree. She sees Scrappy Doo and fires her gun. She misses. The bullet grazes Scrappy. He is injured ... and furious.

Scrappy: Come on down and fight me like a real warrior! Let me at you! Let me at you!

Rousseau comes down from the trees and meets the great dane pup on the forests’ grounds.

Scrappy (shouts): Puppy Power!!!!

Scrappy begins to race at Rousseau. Although Rousseau knows that she could easily kill Scrappy, she whistles instead. A loud galloping is heard as Horses #26-31 storm through the battlefield. Scrappy does not have enough time to react and he is trampled to death. The horses run together through the forest. They are easy laser-fodder for Droid Fighter Ship #1. Since the Horses are unable to separate because of their packing between the trees, Droid Fighter Ship #1 easily kills all Horses #26-31. The three Silver Dragons #3-5 see the Droid Fighter race through the sky. The dragons confront the ship. Droid Fighter Ship #1 shoots down Silver Dragon #5. Silver Dragons #3-4 spray their cones of cold and freeze the ship. The ship falls to the ground and explodes. As the Dragons fly on, Black Panther jumps from the treetops above. Black Panther repeatedly stabs Silver Dragon #4. Wounded, it falls to the ground and is killed by Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, who are waiting for the mythical beast. Silver Dragon #3 attempts to escape the fate of its kindred and is met by Silver Surfer. Silver Surfer uses his cosmic power to kill Silver Dragon #3.

Robin Hood and Little John spot Captain Mifune in his armored personnel unit. Little John raises his huge stick in defense. Mifune smiles and uses his advanced weaponry to blow Little John away. Robin Hood instantaneously reacts to his companion’s death and with his pinpoint accuracy, fires an arrow at Mifune. The arrow travels through the unit’s opening and strikes Mifune in the left eye. The tip travels to his brain and kills Mifune. Lara Croft sees this, hops off the Landspeeder and enters into Mifune’s armored personnel unit.

Red Sonja sees Robin Hood and approaches him from behind. As Hood quickly turns, she manages to destroy his bow and notched arrow. Without a bow and arrow, Hood takes his sword out. A battle ensues between the female barbarian and thief. Although Hood is adept and extremely acrobatic, Sonja’s pure brute strength overpowers Hood. Hood is killed. In response, Lara Croft uses the armored personnel unit and shreds Sonja in half with her rapid-fire bullets.

Warpath sees Fozzy Bear. Although he respects the animal kingdom (as did his ancestors before him), he knows what he must do.

Warpath: Good Bear. I will make your death a swift one, out of reverence for your kind.

Fozzy (nervously): Heheheheheheheeh. Look over there!

Warpath falls for Fozzy’s scam. Nonetheless, before Fozzy can run too far away, Warpath uses his superhuman speed and agility to pounce upon Fozzy. With his knife, he carve Fozzy up. Stuffing flows from Fozzy’s body.

The Star Wars universe inhabitants face off against one another. Obi Wan Kenobi, Master Jedi Leia Organa, Even Piell and Jedi Masters #31-33 confront Jedi Knights #16-20, Darth Malak and Shintor Beerus. Jedi Masters #31-33 face off against their inferiors, Jedi Knights #16-20. Due to the experience of the Masters, Jedi Knights #16-20 all fall, while only Jedi Master #33 dies. Jedi Masters #31 and 32 join Master Leia Organa to fight Darth Malak. The lightsabers swirl and twirl, their blurs lighting the forest floor and their blades’ crashes sounding through the treetops. Malak kills Jedi Masters #31 and 32, but falls to Organa. Organa then joins Obi Wan Kenobi and Even Piell in their battle against Shintor Beerus.

Beerus: I was Yoda’s first.

Kenobi: And now you will be my first – kill that is.

Beerus is good, but not that good as the combined skills of Kenobi, Piell and Organa destroy him. Beerus winds up in pieces on the mossy floor.

Quinlon Vos leads Elite Stormtroopers #1-6 against Lara Croft in her newly acquired armored personnel unit and Amidala in the landspeeder. Amidala deliberately crashes the landspeeder into the Elite Stormtroopers and manages to kill Elites #2-3. The other Elites fire upon and kill her. Amidala’s dead foot presses on the accelerator and the speeder crashes (and explodes) into the trees. Croft kills Elites #1 and 4, but #5-6 manage to repeatedly fire upon Croft. The laser blasts give her too much to think about. Quinlon Vos comes from behind and decapitates her. Aragorn and Arwen rush upon the scene and stab the remaining Elites through their armor’s soft spots. Storm uses her powers to create a wind storm-tornado that lifts both Arwen and Aragorn in the air. The Tolkien heroes try to fight out of their captive winds, but are unable to do so. They rise to the treetops and see the Incredible Hulk, who is standing there smiling.

Hulk: You two are perfect for one another. You belong together.

That said, Hulk uses his immense hands to crush their skulls together. Their bodies fall, pieces of their heads still tangled together as they hit the ground.

Blackfire runs through the trees and uses her energy projection to cut all objects around her. She is luck enough to catch Danielle Rousseau unawares. Thus, Blackfire has avenged Scrappy’s death.

John McLane, Abraham Van Helsing and Ron Meyer face off against and Duncan Idaho Ghola # 6.

Meyer: Feel my wrath!

Meyer runs at Duncan Idaho Ghola #6. Ghola stops him and has Meyer’s hand in his fist.

Meyer: Please! Please! Spare me! It wasn’t me! It was Sailor Moon! Al Dawg and Sailor Moon for gosh sakes!

Ghola shows him no mercy and kills him. John McLane repeatedly shoots Ghola #6 and Van Helsing’s ancient, but deadly weaponry, finishes Ghola #6 off.

Black Panther is adept at racing through the forests, being used to the foliage in his jungle home. Panther is unexpectantly stopped as hundreds of Endor’s vines entangle him. Poisin Ivy smiles as the vines wrap around the Panther.

Ivy: Yummy. Who says white meat is better than dark?

She steps toward Panther and kisses him on the lips. Her lips are covered in toxin. Black Panther is paralyzed. Catwoman comes over.

Catwoman: Let’s see which cat survives. . .

She uses her claws to shred Black Panther apart. Poison Ivy and Catwoman smile at finishing Black Panther somewhat easily. Goliath steps in and, as a giant, crushes the both of them under his feet. As Goliath walks on, he is tripped by Wonder Woman’s golden lasso. Goliath crashes to the ground. He is then pounced upon by Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Man-at-Arms and Teela. Wonder Woman uses her lasso to hold Goliath down as Power Girl, Man-at-Arms and Teela finish the job. Goliath is killed.

In the sky, Guy Gardner and John Stewart battle one another. It is evenly matched and almost at a firm standstill until Silver Surfer comes in on his board. He uses a cosmic power blast to kill Gardner.

Warpath and Vos chase down Van Helsing, McLane, Man-at-Arms and Teela. Warpath is too quick and easily gets by the defenses of Van Helsing and McLane. He stabs and kills both men. Vos’s jedi skills are too much and he kills both Man-at-Arms and Teela.

The remaining powerhouses of Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, and John Stewart fly through the forest sky. Through the weather forces of Storm, cosmic power of Silver Surfer, brute strength of Hulk and ring powers of Stewart, both Even Piell and Organa fall.

Kenobi turns to his remaining teammates.

Kenobi: It is a wise combatant who determines to retreat to battle another day.

Wonder Woman: My Amazonian heritage says fight to the end!

Kenobi: That may be, but your death will not help the team now. It will only hurt them.

Wonder Woman and Power Girl (in unison): Agreed.

Brigade: Kenobi, Wonder Woman, and Power Girl alive, but retreat

The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, John Stewart, Blackfire, Quinlon Vos, and Warpath alive.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!