Part 1: Week 2 Consolation Matches: The Syracuse Valley vs. Built Ford Tough

The Syracuse Valley is Doogle & Sockpin.

Built Ford Tough is Steve McQueen and Treasure Troll #26.

Ah yes, Tim Cheveldae’s house, what a fine place to lay down your feet for the night. I remember the first time I laid eyes on this fine piece of property. It was but a fortnight ago when I first was lucky enough to touch the warm brick (It had been very warm that day) and smell the fresh flowers that had just been planted only hours earlier. Mr. Cheveldae greeted me at the door and offered me a cool beverage. We had a wonderful talk about the state of the economy and why Chris Osgood is the Billy Smith of our generation. After many hours of lovely banter, he agreed to let us use his house as a setting for Week 2 of the Consolation Matches. He was a bit apprehensive at first, but after realizing how much acclaim he would receive, he gladly said yes.

The only request he had was that he would be present for all of the matches. I explained to him the risks of such a venture, that sometimes certain unexpected things may occur, but he assured me that everything would be quite all right. After we bid our farewells, I walked away with a sense of sadness for leaving the house. I felt so at home there and I couldn’t hardly wait another moment before I was able to step foot back into the dwelling known as Tim Cheveldae’s house.

As I arrived for the first match, I noticed that Doogle and Sockpin were standing outside one of the windows staring into the house. They did this for about twenty minutes until I realized that what they were doing. Well, I take that back. The only real reason I figured out what they were doing is because Tim Cheveldae came out of the house and asked the two of them what they were up to. They both said nothing and slowly walked into the house. Steve McQueen was already in the house sitting next to Treasure Troll #26. McQueen had already polished off two beers and a scotch and TT #26 was sipping on a shot glass that seemed to be filled with a Pina Colada mixture. They both looked relaxed and quickly resumed their conversation with Mr. Cheveldae.

“I completely agree that Nicholas the first would have been able to over take Napoleon, if only he had been around to do so.” Said Steve McQueen.

“I know he was such a brutal leader, but such a great one. Steve and I used to call Bryan Murray ‘ Nicholas the Conquer’.” Tim Cheveldae said.

“That’s great,” the little Treasure Troll said while spitting some of his Pina Colada out of his nose.

“Actually, we also used to refer to Federov and Kozlov as ‘The Decembrist Revolt’, because they were always trying to do something different with the team.”

Doogle and Bran walk into the room and Bran says, “Why are you guys talking about St. Nick? Were here to fight”

“It’s not St. Nick you mindless fool, we are talking about Nicholas the Conquer of Russia. He was Czar from 1825 to 1855. If you actually have something useful to add than please sit down and join in. If not, please be quiet.” Tim Cheveldae says this to the two awkward kids as they stand there with the look of two dead donkeys on their face.

Doogle looks over at Bran and says, “Screw this, lets grab that stick off the wall and beat the hell out of these dudes and get out of here.”

Doogle and Bran quietly go over to the wall and begin to grab at the goalie stick that they had been staring at from outside. You see, it was an autographed goalie stick from Felix Potvin from Game 7 of the first round of the1993 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Felix and Tim both decided to give each other an autographed stick of theirs to remember such a momentous occasion. Actually, from what I’ve heard about the real story is that Felix sent Tim the stick to rub Toronto’s victory in his face. Naturally, in an act of true class, Tim sent Felix an autographed version of his stick to show him that he was a good sport about the whole thing. Now for the reason why the stick is hung on the wall, that I was never was able to find out. Anyways, as the boys were trying to grab the stick off of the wall, the tiny Treasure Troll noticed it and signaled to Tim of what was going on.

Tim saw this and was horrified to see something of his being messed with. Before he was able to do anything about it though, Steve McQueen had thrown his glass of scotch directly at the head of Bran. Bran fell like he had just jumped up and smacked his head on the ceiling of someone’s basement (WHAT UP!). Then he kicked over the table in the living room, broke one of the legs off and picked up the splintered wood from off of the ground. He then ran over to Doogle and stabbed him directly in the heart.

“You stabbed him in the heart dude, he’s not even a vampire.” Bran said to McQueen.

“You’d be surprised on how many people that will kill”. McQueen says this to Bran, then proceeds to rip the goalie stick off of the wall and beats Bran to death with it. Tim at first looked a little offended but then he walked over to McQueen and said, “Well it’s about time that thing was used to do something good.”

McQueen, Treasure Troll #26 and Tim Cheveldae walked into the kitchen and continued their discussions over a nice home cooked meal, curtousy of one Mr. Tim Cheveldae.

Built Ford Tough is Victorious!