Season 3: Match #1: Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies vs. P.M.S.

A Sample of the Music Played in the Pub

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies is Lobo, Michael Weston, Ted Nugent and Greedo.

P.M.S is Magnetic Kid, The Peach, The Guild of Drundledorks which includes: Avette, Dr. Boom Boom Pow, Groudius Maximus, Arjhan Darkscale and Bagwa, The Candyland Crew which includes: The Gingerbread People, Mr. Mint, Grandma Nut, Princess Lolly, Lord Licorice, King Kandy, Jolly, Plumpy, Queen Frostine and Gloppy the Molasses Monster.

Location: The Eagle and Child Pub in Oxford, England in the early 1960’s.

Michael Weston: “Why is it 1961?”

Ted Nugent: “When you’ve been in this league as long as I’ve been, you just stop asking questions and go with it after a while.”

Lobo: “My guess you guys; sometimes the watchers obsessions come into play a little bit more then they should.”

Michael Weston: “The Watchers? What the hell are you talking about? What’s that?”

Lobo: “Never mind”

Ted Nugent: “Wait a second you guys, isn’t this the place that Tolkien and C.S. Lewis used to go to all the time?”

Lobo, Michael and Greedo all look at Ted with a look that says, “Are you really asking us this question and expecting to get a legitimate answer”.

Lobo: “I don’t know man. Though since it is 1961, I am guessing that they might actually be here right now. Just a guess though and for the record, I don’t care.”

Greedo: “Can we get this going you guys, I don’t want to be here forever. I fear that this match has the chance of lasting for a really long time.”

The remaining Murderflies naturally have no idea what Greedo is saying, as they don’t have Han Solo’s amazing language skills or George Lucas’s subtitles.

Just then the door burst open and a goofy green suited man walked in the door shouting something about Pelor, the sun god.

Dr. Boom Boom Pow: “What a glorious day this is, Pelor has once again shined down upon us today”.

Groudius Maximus: “Ah yes, for it is a glorious morn indeed my good sir.”

As they said this, very loudly I must add, one of the patron’s in the pub began to ask the doctor whom he was referring to. He explained to him that Pelor was his god and that he was thanking him for blessing the day with such beauty. The patron took offense to this comment and began to question him about why he was pretending to pray to a pagan god. The conversation eventually escalated into and argument and after a while, the entire Guild of Drundledorks were screaming and cursing the patrons out.

Michael Weston: “Should we do something about this?”

Lobo: “No, just them argue. I have a feeling this isn’t even half of their team, so the longer they are distracted the better”.

Greedo: “What do you mean only half of their team? How many people are we fighting today?”

Greedo’s teammates once again looked at him with puzzled looks, as the language barrier had yet to improve. This is when the remaining members of P.M.S walked into the pub. Magnetic Kid came in with a small gentleman wearing a large black coat. Following behind them was a cavalcade of colorful characters, all talking in high-pitched annoying voices.

Greedo: “Come on, are you serious with this s%@t! What’s with all the characters? Isn’t this basically just an over zealous pre-season match? This is going to take forever.”

By this time, his teammates had begun to just ignore Greedo, as there was no real point in listening to his nonsensical babble. During this time the screaming match between the Drundle’s and the patrons continued to roar on and Lobo had decided to take a seat at the bar and get a drink.

Michael Weston: “You’re drinking already Lobo?”

Lobo: “Hell yeah, you can smoke in here as well Mike. Remember, it’s 1961 man. Light one up and relax.”

Michael Weston: “Good call Lobes.”

Michael lights up a cigarette and proclaims to his teammate that he loves the 1960’s. The next half hour is spent relaxing and taking in the atmosphere of the place. It had this great old feel to it; with it’s smoke lined ceilings and warm wood finishes, the place spoke to you with its unknown history. It felt old, yet at the same time ready to take on whatever the future may be bringing its way. Needless to say, the patrons and combatants all felt the same way about the place.

By this time the Drundle’s had made peace via alcohol with the men at the bar and the Candyland characters were sitting at the two booths in the corner sharing several bottles of what appeared to be a French Syrah. They seemed to be having a gay old time, as did everyone in the pub. That is everyone except for Greedo. He had tried to relax along with everyone else, but it didn’t seem to be sitting very well with him. He sat at the bar with his teammates, but unlike them, Greedo was very agitated and not enjoying his trip back in time. He wanted to get this match over with as soon as possible and he knew the only way to get things rolling, was to do something drastic.

Greedo: “Screw this you guys, I don’t want to spend all god d@$%ed day in this moldy hell hole.”

This is when Greedo walked over to the Candyland crew’s booth and began to do what Greedo does best, shoot first. His initial shots actually proved most lucrative, as he took out Mr. Mint, King Kandy, Plumpy and Queen Frostine before being tackled to the ground by Lord Licorice. At this point, it was obvious to both teams that the fight had now begun. The relaxation of “The Bird and the Baby” had come to end.

The Drundles at the bar heard the blaster shots from Greedo and immediately took on the fierce battle aesthetic that they would soon be known for. Luckily for Greedo though, his teammates had his back. Michael Weston pulled out his gun and shot Dr. Boom Boom Pow directly between the eyes. At the same time, the Motor City Madman had brought out his cross bow and took aim at Groudius Maximus. Nugent did get a shot off and actually hit the groudy one, but only in the shoulder. The hit did hurt him, but it was not the deathblow Teddy boy was hoping for.

During all this Greedo had been on the floor wrestling with Lord Licorice. The Lord had been trying to get the gun from the green skinned creature, but after a couple minutes of the struggle, Greedo snapped the neck of his tasty opponent. The remaining members of the Candyland crew were enraged at this point as they decided to take on Greedo together in one big bum rush. Though Greedo was more powerful in a one on one fight, the strength and rage of the Candyland crew was too much for him to take. The Rodian creature was torn to shreds and now Grandma Nut was in possession of the blaster.

The Candyland crew now had a taste for blood and immediately wanted more of it. Michael Weston caught wind of this fact and quickly jumped behind the bar and started shooting at the now blood thirty crew. He killed one of the Gingerbread people with a lucky shot to the neck, but the rest of the crew was still coming. At this point the Drundles began to unload their weapons on the Murderflies. This included magic from Avette and a barrage of attacks from Arjhan.

Michael Weston: “Hey Lobes, you gonna help us out anytime soon or you gonna just let us mortals take care of this match by ourselves?”

Lobo took one last drink of his beer and looked right at Michael and said,

“You always this needy Mike?”

Lobo then took out his chain and knocked down the entire lot of Candyland characters to the ground. He was seconds away from killing the entire crew when Magnetic Boy took control over his chain and began swinging it wildly in the air. The move was helpful for mere seconds though as deadly Tedley perfectly placed an arrow through the mouth of the once magnetic super hero. With his chain and claw back in his control, Lobo jumped on top of several Candyland creatures, brutally beating the life out of them. The only character left actually was Gloppy the Molasses Monster, who managed to push Lobo down onto the ground.

Michael Weston: “Did you just get knocked down by that thing? That was kind of pathetic Lobes.”

Lobo: “Would you stop calling me Lobes!”

Michael Weston: “Sure, when you stop fighting like a b$*%h!”

Lobo then got back on his feet, picked up Gloppy and threw him at the remaining Drundledork’s who for some reason were not moving any closer towards their opponents (must have been a bad role). Though the Drundles seemed to be getting nothing but critical misses all match, Lobo’s launching of Gloppy was a perfect hit. Gloppy knocked the dorks to the ground, stopping their offensive attacks immediately. With their P.M.S opponents on the ground together, Lobo unleashed a hellish fury of explosives on them, killing everyone but the tiny Bagwa.

Michael Weston: “Nice job Lobes, but that little ninja dude looks pissed.”

Lobo: “S#$&, hold on a second”

Lobo was taken aback by the small size of the Bad A$$ Gnome Warrior Assassin, but knew he was nothing to take lightly. The small fighter moved very fast and before Lobo even knew what was going on, he had a sword in the right side of his abdomen. Lobo was shocked as he assumed he win this fight with ease. Michael then began to shoot at the small fighter, missing him completely.

Ted Nugent: “Nice try kid, where did you learn shoot the…”

Before Ted was even able to get his insult out, he had blood pouring down his chest. The Peach, who had been hiding in the shadows of the Pub, had walked up behind the less then stealthy musician and slit his throat. This more then angered Michael who stood up and with one shot, took down the stocky black-coated figure.

Michael then jumped over the bar to help his only remaining teammate fight, but it was not necessary. Though the small assassin had injured Lobo at the beginning, the fight was not going to end in his favor. Lobo, with the sword still in his side hit Bagwa with his chain, catching him in the neck with his gutting hook. Lobo then yanked back on the chain and launched the small warrior into the wall, breaking his neck.

Michael Weston: “Nice going man.”

Lobo: “Yeah thanks.”

Michael Weston: “If you would have fought the entire match like that, we would have been out of here a lot sooner.”

Lobo: “Did it ever occur to you that I didn’t want to leave.”

Michael Weston: “Aww, I didn’t know you were the sentimental type Lobes.”

Lobo: “Just order a drink, shut up and enjoy the victory Mike. I don’t know how many more of these we are going to have this season.”

P.M.S: All Dead

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies: Lobo and Michael Weston survived

BROCK SAMPSON”S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!