Week 2: Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies vs The Abomitrons

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are Ron Popeil, Forge, John Moses Browning, Michael Weston, Fiona Glenane, Scarlet Witch, Etrigan the Demon, Captain Caveman, Dynomutt, and The Wu-Tang Clan: RZA, GZA, Method Man, Raekwon, Ghost Face Killah, Inspectah Deck, U God, Masta Killah, Cappa Donna, Ol' Dirty Bastard, and Dirt McGirt.

The Abomitrons are Sebastian the Crab, Immell #17 (Elite Sebastian: Sebastian the Crab & Elite Clone Trooper #21), Leviathan, Toadette, Horri-Bull with Creb, Ultra Boy, Spider-Boy, Naboo Soldier #2-3, Goofy and Pluto.

“Damn, it’s freezing out here!” exclaims Method Man. The rest of the Wu-Tang Clan shivers in agreeance. “Man, I didn’t sign with this team just to be tossed out here in the Arctic Ocean,” says RZA. But before anyone else can complain the Abomitrons show up for the battle. The Wu-Tang Clan, as well as the rest of the Murderflies, take their places on the Ron Popeil/Forge constructed Ronco Dura-Float. The Abomitrons storm the vessel and begin their attack. Sebastian the Crab is thrown by Spider-Boy right at GZA and latches onto the rapper’s bottom lip. “Oww! Muh lipp!” shouts GZA. He pulls Sebastian off of his mouth and stomps the little crustacean to death. Toadette, Goofy and Pluto then attack the trio of Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Big Baby Jesus, and Dirt McGirt. “Well, gosh, Toadette. These three all look the same to me,” says Goofy. “Goofy, that’s not exactly a very P.C. thing to say,” replies Toadette. “No really, don’t they look like they are the same guy?” Goofy says. But before Toadette can respond, Pluto’s extra sensitive nose then gets a whiff of something and he viciously mauls Big Baby Jesus to death. The former police dog (yeah, bet you didn’t know Pluto used to be a police dog? Well he was in The Purloined Pup from 1946, so there. Eat it.) then pulls out a bag of what appears to be oregano. Toadette and Goofy then follow suit and attack O.D.B. and Dirt McGirt. Goofy savagely snaps O.D.B.’s neck, as Toadette uses one of Forge’s wrenches to bludgeon Dirt McGirt. The rest of the Wu-Tang Clan sees this horrible display of savagery and unloads their glocks into Goofy, Pluto and Toadette. Immell #17 (Elite Sebastian) then sneaks up behind Masta Killah and “killah”s him “masta”fully by clipping his head off with his one claw hand. He then busts as “cappa” in Cappa Donna’s “buttah.” (Everyone enjoying this? No? Ok I’ll stop) “Captain CAAAAAVEMAAAAAAANNNN!!!!” shouts the super Neanderthal as he flies up and smashes Ultra Boy down into the icy water. But the robot boy bursts out of the water and knocks Captain Caveman for a loop. Dynomutt tries to help his friend, but Ultra Boy is ready. Dynomutt starts pulling out several different types of weapons from his body, but Ultra Boy is more advanced and blasts a massive hole into Dynomutt’s side. Ultra Boy then turns and fires a rocket at Captain Caveman. It hits dead on, but once the smoke clears, Captain Caveman’s fur and face are just singed. He then aims his club and fires a rocket of his own, which is successful in destroying Ultra Boy. It was so easy even… well you get the point. He then flies down and attacks Horri-Bull and Creb. He smashes Creb’s head in, but Captain Caveman wasn’t expecting Horri-Bull to be a big as he is. “Unga bunga, you am big as T-Rex. Me am going to unga bunga you to death!” shout Captain Caveman. But Horri-Bull is too powerful for the Neanderthal and with a mighty snap of the Decepticon’s jaw, Captain Caveman is no more. Michael Weston and Fiona Glenane then take off in the Ronco Faster-Boat (“you’ll never want to drive on land again.”). They are speeding away from the Ronco Dura-Float just in time to see Leviathan burst from the water and destroy the boat, killing the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, it also takes out Elite Sebastian in the process. Ron Popeil, Forge and John Moses Browning were able to escape certain doom as well, by taking the other Ronco Faster-Boat. John Moses Browning takes aim with his rifle and picks off both Naboo Soldiers with ease. Spider-Boy then feels like it’s time for him to make a name for himself and fires his webbing all over three members of the Murderflies. He then uses his super strength to kill all of them. Michael and Fiona are racing around in their boat, being tailed by Horri-Bull. Michael has an idea, and has Fiona drive for a minute while he sets some detonators in the back of the boat. Horri-Bull catches up to them just as Michael and Fiona leap out of the boat and into the water. When Horri-Bull makes contact with the boat, the C4 and the boat explodes, which rip the Headmaster apart. Michael and Fiona are freezing in the water, clutching onto a piece of debris from the Ronco Dura-Float. But unfortunately for them, Leviathan come up from underneath them and eats them as if they were prawns. The Murderflies magical heavy hitters now have their backs up against the wall. Etrigan the Demon stares down Spider-Boy. “All around the world, Killa Beez start swarmin' 'em. You can't stop us, you can't block us. Rock us or mock us, knock us or top us. Better sit back and watch us...” Etrigan starts to say, but Spider-Boy fires his web shooter at Etrigan’s mouth to shut him up. The Demon then uses his fire breath to burn the webbing away and in a rage now, flies head first right at Spider-Boy. Meanwhile, Scarlet Witch is just floating above the water. Not saying anything, not moving, not even paying attention to the match. Etrigan then wraps Spider-Boy up in a bear hug and with a combination of his fire breath and squeezing Spider-Boy until his back snaps; he’s able to defeat him. Leviathan emerges out of the water once again, and goes to swallow Scarlet Witch. Etrigan is helpless to aid his teammate, but just before Leviathan closes it massive jaws, he hears Scarlet Witch say what sounded like “No more Leviathan.” And just like that. Etrigan floats in the water, alone.

BROCK SAMSON’S FIGHTING MURDERFLIES ARE VICTORIOUS!!