Seaon 4 Week 3, Better than All of You vs Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers

Better Than All Of You is:
David Dunn (Unbreakable) ,Rambo, Beechead, Snake Eyes Original Ghost Rider (Johnny Blaze),6 Army Soldiers, Doc Holliday, 4 Orcs, Black Suit Spider Man, Blues Brother Jake w/ motorcycle, 1 Doozer

Griffin’s High Maintenance Mouthfulls are:
My state farm agent, Techno destructo,Bozzo destructo,Bonesnapper, Cardinal syn,Jewcifer,Zog, Gor Gor, Johnny Rotten. Kingdom come Superman, Caira the Old strong, Starkiller, The Leader (w/ a red lightsaber), Hellion, Black Lantern Al Dog

Coming To you Live from the capital city of Iraq…
Hello friends, this is Mikeatu reporting to you live from channel 9 action news.
The watcher gig simply isn’t paying enough so I’ve picked up a sideline reporting on the events for the local channel 9 affiliate. Kill two birds with one stone right?

We now join the battle, already in progress, there are no words to describe what’s happening, I will simply let the camera crew here tell the story:

A close in shot of David Dunn strutting around the vast desert… he appears to be screaming.

“HAH! Not a drop of water in sight! I am truly Unbreakable!”

He appears to be daring all of his enemies to take shots at him. Black Lantern Al Dog approaches and takes a swing at him, shattering his hand. Oh my God! The camera quickly pans away as Dunn has struck black lantern Al Dog in the throat with the web of his hand cracking his trachea and causing him to suffocate to death.
“Haha try singing Bruno now!" Dunn screams. Then more quietly he says "wait.. what?"

“That’s quite enough of that,” says Kingdom Come Superman who proceeds to fling Dunn into the Tigris river. Dun drowns immediately because M. Night Shymalan is hydrophobic.

The State Farm agent rolls in on a diamond encrusted Bugatti Veyron (you have no idea how high the monthly payments are to cover this team let alone Griffin himself) Unfortunately for her, black suit Spiderman has created a giant web slingshot and lets it go, clipping the high priced automobile and sending it flying into GWAR.
The state farm agent is killed, but not by the impact because as the song goes…

“They are GWAR, and they’ll go far, they’ve got guitars, they’ll eat your car. GWAR GWAR GWAR GWAR!”

The screams of the state farm agent pierce the air as the Bizarre Metal band consumes the car with her inside it.
Johnny Blaze and Jake Elwood roll up on the Gwar gang singing their own tune…

“Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, Ghost Rider motorcycle hero, baby baby baby baby he’s screamin the truth, Ridin around in a blue jump suit yeah…”

Johnny attaches his chains to Jakes bike and they murder the entire GWAR roster with a fiery clothesline.

Unfortunately they didn’t see Kingdom Come Superman land in the back of the group. Superman stands his ground and the bikes wrap around him slamming into each other at full speed killing Jake instantly and sending Johnny Flying. The ghost rider manages to recover and wrap his chains around the throat of superman. His penance stare pierces into Superman’s mind and forces him to think of all of the people he couldn’t save over the years he spent in his fortress of solitude. Superman is driven insane with guilt by the thought of all those innocent lives and he falls listless to the ground. The Ghost Rider then strangles him to death with his magical chains.

Hellion flings Blaze into the wreckage of the motorcycles, weakened from his effort spent killing superman blaze is easily dismantled by Hellions telekinetic powers. Caira, Hellion, Star Killer and the leader hunt the Baghdad streets for the remaining members of Better Than All of You.

They easily dispatch the Army soliders, the orcs, and with luck they get the drop on the Doozer before he is able to finish his elaborate crystalline ambush.
Unfortunately for the foursome, they’ve walked into another ambush. The poor Doozer was only the bait.

“NOW!” screams John Rambo as he launches and Explosive arrow into the back of Hellions head.

The resultant explosion and spray temporarily blinds the others, giving Snake Eyes time to dispatch Caira. The Leader hauls Starkiller out of the way just before Snake eyes’ blade pierces his chest.
Unfortunately for The Leader, Beechead has no sympathy for people with stupid names and he proceeds to place a bullet in The Leaders oversized green melon.
Snake Eyes motions for Rambo to stay out of the fight and squares off with Starkiller.
Starkiller Flips on his dual lightsabers and proceeds to fight the silent ninja. Snake eyes dodges his attacks with acrobatic flips and seems to be having a fairly easy time, he runs up the high spire of a minaret and the two square off on the roof.
Starkiller sees his moment to strike and slices Snake Eyes neatly in two. The halves of his body tumbling down the side of the minaret in an oddly familiar fashion…
“This is over.” Says Starkiller once he reaches the ground and moves to face Rambo.
“NOTHIN IS OVUH!!” shouts Rambo a she launches into an assault on Starkiller. The explosive arrows miss the lightsaber wielding warrior who deflects them easily with the force.
“Raaaaaagghhhhh!” screams Rambo again as he drops his bow and arrow for an M16.
“Try deflecting a three round burst.”
Rambo Taps the trigger of his weapon and three 5.62 rounds rip through the air, the twin sabers of starkiller melt the bullets easily and he smirks. He advances on Rambo and suddenly has an odd look on his face….

The bloom of blood soaks his shirt, Starkiller failed to see Doc Holiday sneak up behind him and failed to notice him timing his own shot to match the one from Rambo’s gun. Unaware of the sneak attack Doc’s shot landed, punching a hole into Starkillers aorta causing him to bleed out in seconds.

“I ain’t above shootin a man in the back son.” Doc said to Rambo’s puzzled look.

“I don’t know how that rumor even got started…”

Better Than All of You is Victorious!
Black Suit Spiderman, Rambo and Doc Holiday Survive!