Season 4, Week 5: Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family vs. Le' Napoleon Brigade

“This is what I call a target-rich environment.”

-Maverick

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Week 5 Match located in Uncharted Space. They are as follows:

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Freddy Krueger (w/ a yellow lantern ring); The Black Racer, Monarch, Judge Dredd, Xenomorph Alien #51, Predator #47, Ramona Flowers (w/ a Star Sapphire ring), Armor, Magnetic Kid, Mother Mae Eye, The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar and Superman Emergency Squad #1-5, Dark Supergirl, Black Lantern Kilowog, The Silverhawks: Bluegrass, Quicksilver and Tallyhawk, Steelheart and Rayzor, Steelwill and Stronghold, Copper Kid and Mayday in The Miraj, Hotwing and Gyro, Flashback and Backlash, Moonstryker and Tailspin, Blue Beetle (bronze age), Thunder and Lightning.

Le' Napoleon Brigade: (Pre-Suit) Darth Vader in Darth Vader's Tie Fighter, Andrew Laidlaw, Emperor Palpatine, and Astro-Droid #1 in a Y-Wing Bomber, Black Hand, Princess Leia in a Tie Bomber, Princess Leia (Jedi Knight) in a Tie Bomber, Padme Amidala in a Tie Bomber, Black Lantern Scarlet Witch, Black Lantern Trinity, Squeezeplay and Lokos, Baron Fel in a Tie Interceptor, Atrocitus, Maverick and Astro-Droid #2 in an A-Wing, Goose and Astro-Droid #3 in a Y-Wing, Power Girl, Phil Day (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Astro-Droid #4 in an X-Wing, Bedovian, Jetfire and Jetstorm, Metallo, Red Lantern #3 and Nightstar.

Let the battle begin. . .

Asteroid field. . .

Goose and Astro-Droid #3 fly their Y-Wing through an asteroid field. Lurking behind one of the asteroids is Freddy Krueger. The Y-Wing occupants have Krueger in their sights.

Goose: Screw you Krueger!

Krueger: Oooh! Sounds like fun. You're a little fast for me! How 'bout we play first?

Krueger uses his yellow lantern ring to create a large yellow cushion and clawed hand. The Y-Wing is held in place by the ring’s projection as Krueger flies over to the cockpit. Krueger’s claws rip into the cockpit and the cockpit’s pane cracks. Goose begins to scream as the air is ripped from the compartment.

Krueger: Why are you screaming? I haven't even cut you yet.

With that said, Krueger impales Goose in his flight chair. He then uses his ring to destroy the Y-Wing; Astro Droid #3 is destroyed with its fighter. Maverick and Astro-Droid #2 in an A-Wing fly to the scene and begin to fire on Krueger. Krueger is taken by surprise and is thrown across space.

Krueger: Ooooh! You’re dangerous!

Maverick: That's right! Claw... man. I am dangerous.

Maverick uses his maneuvers to discombobulate Krueger. Maverick then unleashes his weapons again and again so that the ring is not enough to protect the dream warrior from; Krueger is blasted apart.

On an asteroid. . . [I have devised one particular asteroid in the battle where breathable air is compressed such that the inhabitants on the surface can breathe air].

Princess Leia in a Tie Bomber barrages the surface of the asteroid. There are no combatants to be seen on the rock’s surface. Magnetic Kid jumps out of a crevice and uses his abilities to pull Princess Leia’s Tie Bomber down. The Tie Bomber crashes on the surface, but Princess Leia is able to eject from the ship to safety. She is then met by Xenomorph Alien #51 and Predator #47. The Predator uses its shoulder cannon to rip a hole through her stomach. Leia looks down at the damage. As she raises her head she sees Alien #51 upon her. The Alien tears her apart. Nightstar flies to the scene and uses her starbolts to blast both Xenomorph Alien #51 and Predator #47. The two Kittie creatures die.

Asteroid field. . .

Dark Supergirl flies at Nightstar. Nightstar unleashes her starbolts at Dark Supergirl. Although battered, Dark Supergirl shrugs off the assault. The two are in a pitched battle, but Dark Supergirl eventually gains the upper hand. Dark Supergirl’s legs are wrapped around Nightstar’s head. [On the “breathable” asteroid below, Judge Dredd and Black Hand are seen smiling at the scene]. Dark Supergirl squeezes her legs together and snaps Nightstar’s neck.

The asteroid. . .

With the sight of Dark Supergirl and Nightstar coming to an end, Judge Dredd and Black Hand face off.

Judge Dredd: I am the law!!!

Black Hand: You are the law? Where did that come from? What does that even mean?

Judge Dredd: I'll be the judge of that.

Black Hand is tired of Dredd’s senseless rhetoric and uses his powers to absorb the life force from Dredd. Dredd is dead.

In space. . .

Darth Vader in Darth Vader's Tie Fighter, Andrew Laidlaw, Emperor Palpatine, and Astro-Droid #1 in a Y-Wing Bomber and Padme Amidala in a Tie Bomber have become a mini-squadron in the battle. The entire Silverhawk team has entered into the Miraj. The Miraj streaks through the squadron and causes Darth Vader’s Tie Fighter to accidentally clip Padme Amidala’s Tie Bomber. Darth Vader cannot see what happens to Amidala as the Miraj blocks his view. The Black Racer uses his cosmic skis to fly near Amidala. He phases through the ship and touches Amidala. Amidala dies. Meanwhile, the Miraj flies out of the trajectory of Vader’s laser fire as Vader rushes back to his teammates. Vader flies toward the remaining Y-Wing Bomber.

Emperor Palpatine: Lord Vader... can you hear me?

Darth Vader: Yes, Master. Where is Padme? Is she safe? Is she all right?

Emperor Palpatine: It seems. . . you killed her.

Darth Vader: I...? I couldn't have! She was alive... I felt it! Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Emperor Palpatine smiles in the Y-Wing Bomber.

Andrew Laidlaw: What the heck Palp! That was just mean!

Emperor Palpatine: A means to and end. . .

The asteroid. . .

Mother Mae Eye is confronted by Black Lantern Scarlet Witch.

BL Scarlet Witch: There’s only one witch on this rock b$tch!

BL Scarlet Witch uses her hex energy to destroy Mother Mae Eye.

In space. . .

The twin Silverhawks Steelwill and Steelheart, with their birds, Stronghold and Rayzor, fly from the Miraj. They are immediately met by Baron Fel in a Tie Interceptor and Maverick and Astro Droid #2 in an A-Wing. The Silverhawks are extremely agile, but are no match for the superior piloting skills of Fel and Maverick. Maverick takes out Steelheart and Rayzor, while Fel takes out Steelwill and Stronghold. Meanwhile, Bedovian, Atrocitus and Red Lantern #3 face Black Lantern Kilowog and Ramona Flowers with a Star Sapphire ring. The lanterns are in a pitched battle, but the combined efforts of the red lanterns destroy BL Kilowog since their plasma vomit does not allow BL Kilowog to regenerate. The hermit crab-like sniper lantern easily dispels with Flowers. As Bedovian, Atrocitus and Red Lantern #3 re-group and fly away, they are met by The Superman Emergency Squad: Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar and Superman Emergency Squad #1-5. The Kryptonian super squad easily destroys Red Lantern #3. Metallo comes into the fray and his Kryptonite power source instantly causes the SES to weaken. The Transformers, Jetfire, Jetstorm, Squeezeplay and Lokos enter the fray and take advantage of the debased Kryptonians. At the end of the battle, the entire Superman Emergency Squad, being Don-El, Van-Zee, Vitar and #1-5 are killed, but they have taken Bedovian, Jetfire, Jetstorm, Atrocitus, Squeezeplay and Lokos with them. Metallo looks at the robotic remnants and has an idea.

Darth Vader’s rage engulfs him due to the loss of Padme. His goal is to utterly decimate the Kitties. He has taken the lead of the fearsome squad of pilots, who now follow him. Thus, Vader leads Andrew Laidlaw, Emperor Palpatine, and Astro-Droid #1 in a Y-Wing Bomber, Princess Leia (Jedi Knight) in a Tie Bomber, Baron Fel in a Tie Interceptor, Maverick and Astro-Droid #2 in an A-Wing and Phil Day (with a Sith Lavarouk) and Astro-Droid #4 in an X-Wing. The pilots focus on the Miraj. The repeated barrage of torpedoes, laser fire and bombs devastate the Miraj. Colonel Bluegrass addresses the Thunderhawks in the Miraj. Bluegrass: Make me proud! I will be going down with the ship! The Thunderhawks soar out of the portal. As they turn, they see the Miraj explode, taking Bluegrass with it. In retribution, the Thunderhawks are determined to take out as many of the Brigade fighters as they are able to. . . which is none. The superior piloting skills and fighter power of the starships easily dispel with the Thunderhawks. Copper Kid and Mayday are killed by Phil Day and Astro-Droid #4. Moonstryker and Tailspin are blown apart by Laidlaw, Palpatine and Astro-Droid #1. Flashback and Backlash are decimated by Princess Leia (Jedi Knight). Fell takes out Hotwing and Gyro. Quicksilver and Tallyhawk are destroyed by Vader. As the pilots fly off, Monarch teleports into the Y-Wing Bomber with Andrew Laidlaw, Emperor Palpatine, and Astro-Droid #1. Monarch uses his energy projection powers to lay down the law with Laidlaw. Palpatine gets on the communication relay to Vader while his co-pilot is killed.

Palpatine: Avenge me!

Palpatine is destroyed with Astro-Droid #1. Monarch teleports out of the ship before it crashes into the asteroid beneath it.

Asteroid. . .

Magnetic Kid is crushed by the Y-Wing Bomber wreckage. Armor is rocked, but her force field protects her.

Space. . .

Thunder and Lightning take on Maverick and Astro-Droid #2 in their A-Wing. The combined powers are too much for Maverick and he is unable to avoid the duo. Thunder reaps through the cockpit and Lightning rips through the ship. Maverick and Astro-Droid #2 are fried. The A-Wing follows suit and crashes into the asteroid below.

Asteroid. . .

Blue Beetle is crushed by the A-Wing wreckage. Armor is rocked, but her force field protects her.

Space. . .

The Black Racer phases through the ships of both Baron Fel in his Tie interceptor and Phil Day (w/ a Sith Lavarouk) and Astro-Droid #4 in an X-Wing. The Racer kills all of them in moments. Both ships crash to the asteroid below.

Asteroid. . .

Armor is rocked, but her force field protects her.

Armor: OH COME ON ALREADY!!!

Black Lantern Scarlet Witch and Black Lantern Trinity come at Armor. Their lantern projectiles repeatedly pummel her. Armor is already in a weakened condition due to the four ships nearly falling on her. In a miraculous instant, Armor is able to destroy BL Trinity, but falls to BL Scarlet Witch.

The final melee. . .

Darth Vader and Princess Leia land their fighters on the asteroid. They join Black Hand, BL Scarlet Witch and Power Girl. The Brigade faces the Kitty Team of the Black Racer, Monarch, Dark Supergirl, Thunder and Lightning. Power Girl manages to kill Dark Supergirl. Darth Vader and Leia use both their mastery of lightsabers and the Force to destroy Thunder and Lightning. Monarch blows Black Hand up and also BL Scarlet Witch. Metallo erupts from across the asteroid with all of the wreckage of the ships and Transformers as a part of his exo-skeleton. The Metallo monstrosity and Power Girl take out Monarch. The Black Racer reaches Power Girl and kills her. Metallo then decides to destroy himself for the betterment of his team. He uses all of the incorporated powers of the Cybertronians, starships and Kryptonite to overload and destroy himself. Metallo takes out the Black Racer with him. Father and daughter remain.

Vader bows to his daughter.

Vader: May I have this dance?

The two Skywalkers utilize this victory to create the first FFL Daddy-Daughter Dance moment.

Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: All dead.

Le' Napoleon Brigade: (Pre-Suit) Darth Vader and Princess Leia (Jedi Knight) survive.

LE’NAPOLEON BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!!!!