Season 5-Week 1: TEAM v. LSOKACLTTMANF

“No man may have me, unless he's beaten me in a fair fight.”-Red Sonja
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 1 Matchlocated in the Grid of Tron Legacy. They are as follows:

TEAM: Supergirl (Linda Danavers); Red Sonja and Cock Sneak Goomba #1.

Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family: Catgirl on a 4-wheeler and Princess Lolly with a blue lightsaber on a 4-wheeler; Batgirl (Stephanie Brown) and Ewok #57 on a Ducatti Motorcycle; Robin (Stephanie Brown) and Smurf #7 on an Imperial Speeder Bike and Zombie Rob
Bartlet.

Let the battle begin. . .
Cock Sneak Goomba #1 (hereinafter“CSG1”) is enraged at how many females Layander’s has played in the match. CSG1 immediately locates the one being that it has power over- one with an appendage, no matter how dead, small and crumbled it may be. CSG1 races at Zombie Rob Bartlet and focuses between his legs. CSG1 rips Zombie Rob Bartlet’s member off with a quick bite. Bartlet does not feel anything as he looks down at his ripped-off anatomy, now lying in between CSG1’s teeth. As CSG1 begins to run away with a penis in his mouth, he is struck by the “Tronified” Ducatti motorcycle driven by Batgirl. When the motorcycle spins around, CSG1 rises. The Ducatti comes again at the Sneak. Ewok #57 jumps off and pounces on CSG1. CSG1 gets the “lower fur” and furiously attacks the Endorian’s nether region. As CSG1 is about to locate Ewok#57’s special place, a 4-wheeler spins by and Princess Lolly uses her blue lightsaber to slice CSG1’s head off.

Red Sonja: What ugly beast stands before me?!?!

Zombie Rob Bartlet sees the silver-metaled, bikini clad Sonja and a low sob is heard as he looks down at his lost member. The only hard thing that Sonja will feel is the metal blade between her hands. While Bartlet ponders his lack of masculinity, Sonja rushes at Bartlet and slices off the top of his skull. Zombie Rob Bartlet moves to the Graveyard.

Sonja uses her She-Devil-with-a-sword skills to avoid the Imperial speeder bike. While it passes her, she cleaves the engine and the vehicle crashes. Robin and Smurf #7 fly off the vehicle. The two join Ewok #57. Sonja easily kills Smurf #7 and Ewok #57. Robin, on the other hand, uses her utility belt’s lasso weaponry and pins Sonja’s arms to her body. Sonja is helpless. . . until Supergirl comes to the scene. Supergirl rips the lasso and Sonja rushes at Robin. Robin pulls out a Tronified-Robin-knife and lodges it firmly in Sonja’s sternum before the warrior can skewer her. As Sonja falls, Robin can be heard to whisper.

Robin: That is for killing my secret lover.

A collective groan of dismay is heard as Catgirl, Lolly, and Batgirl think upon Zombie Rob Bartlet and Robin. . . for that matter. . . . Zombie Rob Bartlet and anything together is nauseating for the women.

Princess Lolly screams and rushes at Supergirl. She actually manages to cut Supergirl with her lightsaber. Supergirl then uses her speed to grab hold of Lolly. She looks at Lolly, who has dropped her lightsaber.

Supergirl: Valiant attempt. . . for a Candyland piece.

Supergirl crushes Princess Lolly and then brushes through the remaining women of Layander’s, killing them all.