Season Five, Week Three: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is: The Phoenix Force, Stilgar, Bat-Mite, Durge, Azazel, Dr. Liet Kynes, Dr. Pardot Kynes, Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola, Fremen #52-56, and Doozer #8.

Miley and Barack’s Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Deadman, Star Sapphire Fatality, Surtur, Heimdall, and The Captain (Immell #5) w/Captain America's Shield.




The sun begins to set as Heimdall, ever patient, sets his gaze upon the sprawling horizon as the dry desert air whips across the arid land. Quietly he waits upon a rock formation for the oncoming battle to which he already knows the outcome of. Katniss Everdeen flies up to him, courtesy of the Green Lantern Ring that chose her after the passing of her teammate, Taa, in last season’s playoffs. She’s hoping to gains some insight about today’s match from him.

“Heimdall, the look on your face?” says Katniss to her Asgardian teammate. “I know this pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?”

The vigilant protector of the Bifrost Bridge slowly turns his attention to the teenager and calmly speaks, “No one can change your life except for you. Don’t ever let anyone step all over you.”

Filled with emotion, the green aura surrounding Katniss glows brighter in the fading sun’s light. “Heimdall, just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”

“Young Katniss,” Heimdall bellows with his smooth baritone voice, “Some day, somebody’s going to make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?”

Shocked by Heimdall’s bluntness and cold response, Katniss replies, “Don’t you know? Don’t you know things can change? Things will go our way if we just hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day?”

Heimdall then drops to one knee and grunts in pain as he puts his hand to his head. “Unngggh. Katniss…. I feel strange.”

“I know that there is pain, Heimdall,” she replies. “But you hold on for one more day and break free the chains.”

“Hahahaha that was classic guys,” laughs Bat-Mite who appears out of thin air right behind Heimdall’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I was able to get you two to hold an entire conversation by using only lyrics from the phenomenal song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Seriously, I’m crying from laughing so hard.”

The Asgardian’s grip on his sword tightens as his eyes burn with rage from such an invasion of his mind. Heimdall whips around and tries to remove Bat-Mite’s annoyingly big head from his annoyingly tiny frame, but the Imp from the 5th Dimension disappears just a quickly as he arrived. However Heimdall’s thirst for battle is soon quenched as Azazel teleports in with Durge, Doozer #8, the Kynes trio, Stilgar and his team of Fremen. Katniss flies up into the air and creates a green energy bow along with a quiver full of arrows. She quickly fires off several arrows, but the Fremen easily evade them. The rest of the Commandos led by Earth 2 Superman and Optimus Prime, rush in to aid their outnumbered comrades. The now cold night sky is filled with sand and dust that is being violently kicked up by the ferocious battle. Star Sapphire Fatality flies in and overwhelms Durge with a massive blast of violet energy, leaving nothing behind but a charred helmet.

Several puffs of red and black brimstone smoke surround The Captain, as he finds himself quickly on defense from Azazel’s dual sabers attack. The demonic mutant swipes furiously at the genetically spliced clone of Capt. Steve Rogers and Steve Yzerman, but The Captain blocks every blow with Captain America’s shield, a weapon that was bequeathed to him last season when the First Avenger fell in battle. The Immell is no match for the nearly immortal demon, as Azazel tires of this contest, grabs a hold of Steve’s shield, teleports it away and then reappears, driving both sabers into his opponent’s chest. Azazel then teleports away in attempts to ambush Heimdall. However this attack does not go quite as easily. Heimdall is fully aware of this attempt and readies his sword. The moment Azazel reappears, the Asgardian swings his mighty sword and cleaves Azazel in two. The red and black brimstone whisks through the air as Heimdall finishes through with his swing. The two halves of the Evil Midgets member tumble across the desert floor as the Dune squad advances their attack on the Commandos’ Lantern trio.

Stilgar and the Fremen fluidly move through the desert, completely at home in this terrain as they continue to evade the ring wielders’ energy blasts. Dr. Liet Kynes, his Ghola and Dr. Pardot Kynes triple team White Lantern Deadman as Stilgar and his Fremen attack Katniss and Fatality. Fremen #54 is taken out by several well placed green energy arrows as Fremen #52 and #56 are downed by Fatality’s more straight forward violet energy blasts. Stilgar flanks to the left and quickly ascend up to the top of a jagged rock that is jutting out of the sand. He silently leaps off of it as Fremen #55 is fending off Fatality. Stilgar, draws his crysknife from its sheath and plunges it deep into the back of Fatality. They both fall to the ground as Stilgar stands up victorious over Fatality and sending her to the Graveyard. Her Star Sapphire ring removes itself from her fingers and flies back to the Commandos locker room, where it will find itself and new wielder. Katniss takes careful aim and fires a double arrow shot which manages to take out both remaining Fremen as White Lantern Deadman now finds himself on the business end of a four on one, as Stilgar joins his close friends, the Kynes. But there is increasing rumble that shakes the desert ground. Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola is then eradicated from a power blast as Optimus Prime rolls in, transforms and lands with a purposeful thud, driving a plume of sand into the air in all directions. And crushing Doozer #8 in the process, a happy accident for the Commandos co-captain in this endeavor. Bat-Mite reappears again to lend a hand as the Dune trio now find themselves out gunned. Bat-Mite fires a magical bolt at Optimus, but it’s blocked by Heimdall’s sword. Heimdall then uses his sword to unleash the blue flame from countless cosmic suns. Unprepared for such a retaliation, bat-mite is caught by surprise and is destroyed by it.

There is a rush of air that whips over the desert as Earth Two Superman swoops in and takes out the father-son duo of Dr. Pardot Kynes and Dr. Liet Kynes. Stilgar now valiantly stands alone as he sees his chances of survival dwindle to the point of nothingness as the thousand foot tall behemoth, Surtur finally arrives. Defiantly until the end, Stilgar lunges towards Katniss, but is blocked by White Lantern Deadman. Katniss then fires green energy arrow after green energy arrow in Stilgar until he finally falls to the desert ground.

The members of the Commandos look to congratulate each other on a well fought, yet dominating performance, but Kal-L sees a look of despair in the eyes of Heimdall.

“This is far from over,” Heimdall boldly says to the rest of the team. The night sky then begins to brighten. “It is coming. And it’s coming to end us all.”

“What’s coming?” asks Katniss.

Heimdall looks up to the sky and says, “The Phoenix Force.”

And just as the Asgardian speaks those words, the cosmic entity makes its presence known and certainly felt. The Phoenix Force screeches through the sky and without even slowing down, completely and utterly annihilates Surtur. Optimus Prime looks at Earth Two Superman as they both know what must be done. Prime opens his chest up and pulls the Autobot Matrix of Leadership out. Earth Two Superman then uses is incredible strength to perform the world’s most unbelievable “Fastball Special.” Optimus soars through the air on a direct collision course with the Phoenix. He pulls the Matrix open and unleashes its full power. Heimdall takes aim with his sword and fires a joining shot as Katniss and White Lantern Deadman fly in to flank Optimus. Earth Two Superman leaps into the air and flies in as well to aid against this insurmountable attack. The Phoenix Force shrieks as the five different energy sources slam into it. But the cosmic entity continues to scorch the night sky and everything in its path. There is then a massive explosion that is so hot the desert sand is literally melted into sheet of glass. Earth Two Superman’s unconscious body falls from the heavens and impacts the ground with such force, the glass shatters through out the battlefield. Though unconscious, Kal-L miraculously manages to survive the near extinction of his team in what was once appeared to be an easy victory for the Commandos.