Fantasy Fantasy League

Season 6: Week 8

The Shemalabama Shit-Kickers are: Zombie Galactus, Red Lantern Hal Jordan, Nightwing and Flamebird (Kryptonian), Sentinel Prime w/ Autobot Matrix, The Fallen, Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner, Sandworm #7, Real Man.

Beckerman Presents: The Mickey Mouse Grindhouse featuring: Sandworm #11+#12, Zombie Doomsday, Goro wYellow Lantern ring(9 deaths), Zombie Preist, Geoff Johns w/Healing gun, El Gaucho, Man of Bats, Little Raven, Magmar, Modulock, Rio Blast, Merlin, The Huntress, Skeletor Centurion #1 "Hot Fudge" Harry McTwivent w/FREM Kit.

The Shit-Kickers travel through the desert whith the appropriate amount of confidence. Except for one... "REAL MAN IS THIRSTY!!!" Eric declares to his teammates. "Not again... Dude, we gave you something to drink, like, 5 minutes ago. Stop Whining!" says Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner. "I swear that if this guy doesn't shut up, I'll kill him myself!" seeths Red Lantern Hal Jordan, barely holding his rage in check. "REAL MAN IS..." Eric is cut off by a punch in the face by Red Lantern Hal. "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!!!" sceams Hal. Real Man picks himself up and considers Hal's request. "REAL MAN IS.." Eric is interrupted this time by the emergence of sandworm #11, which proceeds to eat Real Man whole. Hal and Kyle high five as Real Man is digested. The sandworm convulses and dies, poisoned by the general unpleasantness of Real Man. Sandworm #12 appears from underneath, but is met by The Shit-Kicker's own sandworm #7. Sandworm #7 is eventually victorious, but it soon dies from the massive injuries inflicted by sandworm #12. The Shit-Kickers are then taken offguard by a surpise attack by the Grinhouse's El Gaucho, Man of Bats, Little Raven, The Huntress, Magmar, Modulock, Rio Blast, and "Hot Fudge" Harry McTwivent.

Rio Blast reveals his weapons, while the Huntress fires bolts from her crossbow. These ranged attacks are blocked by a force field from Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner. The Grindhouse continues to batter the shield and a blow by Modulock finally breaks the will of Kyle Rayner, shattering the construct. The Grindhouse charges in, and Red Lantern Hal takes out Rio Blast with red energy augmented fists. He continues beating the corpse. "Worst He-Man character ever!" he screams. Hal's rant is ended by a scorpion tail spike through the chest, courtesy of Modulock. Modulock attempts to change into a form more suitable for his next target, but is unable, as most of the his parts were lost within 5 seconds of opening the box. He is vaporized by a few shots from Sentinel Prime. Magmar is using his fire attack on The Fallen to little effect. The Fallen shows Magmar his fire attack, and the Pokemon is burned to a crisp. El Gaucho, Man of Bats, and Little Raven show true courage by attacking Flamebird and Nightwing, but are subdued quickly by the Kryptonians. The Huntress knows she is in trouble, but isn't going out by herself. She takes a special kryptonite bolt from her quiver and loads her crossbow. "I'll have to remember to thank Bruce for this." she says to herself. She fires at Nightwing, who is hit in the arm. He is in pain, but he pulls it out and destroys it with heat vision. "No, that's impossible..." says The Huntress. "Two suns." explains Nightwing as Flamebird roasts Huntress with her heat vision. "Hot Fudge" Harry McTwivent is alone, and decides to do what he does best. "So, Flamebird. I heard you were looking for a new Nightwing... or was it a new night fling?" asks Harry with a wink. Flamebird shyly smiles. Nightwing has had enough and explodes McTwivent's head with a punch, while leering at Flamebird.

Merlin watches the action on his crystal ball from another part of the battlefield. He shakes his head as McTwivent falls, the last of their initial attack force. "It appears as though we will be using your idea after all, Mr. Johns." Merlin says. "I hoped it wouldn't come to this either, but we knew that it might." replies Johns. Merlin, Zombie Preist, and Geoff Johns form a circle and join hands. Merlin and Zombie Priest recite ancient incantations while Johns closes his eyes and concentrates. The spell is complete, but the cost is the lives of the three. Magics this powerful come with a price.

The Shit-Kickers are unprepared when Zombie Galactus is enthralled by the magic spell of The Grindhouse. His cosmic powered eye beams rip through Red Lantern Hal Jordan and Sentinel Prime. Zombie Doomsday and Yellow Lantern Goro embrace the advantage and join the fight. Doomsday is battering Nightwing withh spiked fists, but the extra sun fueled Kryptonian is withstanding the beating. Flamebird speeds from behind and rips Zombie Doomsday's head clean off. The pair is overwhelmed by a yellow energy powered Goro. He attacks relentlessly, and finally crushes the two Kryptonians in a double bear hug using his 4 arms. The Fallen is trying to contain the rouge Zombie Galactus, but Galactus fires up the eye beams again and The Fallen is destroyed. The huge backlash of entropic energy from the death of The Fallen engulfs Zombie Galactus, and destroys him as well.

The final survivors Yellow Lantern Goro and Full Spectrum Kyle Rayner face off. Goro creates constructs of his fellow Mortal Kombat fighters to help him. Full Spectrum Kyle is unimpressed. "Yeah, I can do that too..." he yawns as constructs of the JLA appear beside him. "But I'd rather do this." says Kyle as he overtakes and shuts down Goro's ring. Goro smacks the ring with his hand in a futile attempt to get it to work. "Sorry man. I know what it's like being the new ring-slinger on the block. You'll get the hang of it someday." advises Kyle. Goro is enraged and take a run at Rayner, who responds with a ring construct of Sub-Zero. Goro is uppercutted by Sub-Zero, and I could of swore that I heard a high pitched voice say "TOASTY!" Goro lands and is still dazed when he finally rises. "FINISH HIM!" says an otherworldly voice. Kyle is trying to remember the fatality code for Sub-Zero. "Forward, Down, Forward, High punch? Or is it Low Punch? Um... Eh... Screw it. he says as he simply destroys Goro with a blast of pure energy.