TEAM Vs. Murderflies

Season 6: Week 8

TEAM is: Sandworm #1B, #2B, #5B, Fizzatz Haderach (Kwistatz Chris Artrip) and Star Sapphire Julie Artrip, Red Son Superman, Thorion (Celestial), Bruce Lee, Lord Katsumoto, Conan, Aule, Duke Nukem.

Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies are: Quintus Lentulus Batiatus, Lucretia Batiatus, Spartacus, Red Lantern Crixus, Gannicus, Oenomaus(Doctore), Agron, Barca, Varro, Naevia, Mira, Melitta, Prince of Persia, Sandworm #1-5, Jawa #1-6.

TEAM and The Murderflies appear in the Jundland Wastes at the same time. There is a crate sitting in the sand between the two teams. Red Son Superman and Spartacus approach the crate. There is a note attached to the mysterious box. It reads: "Happy Cinco De Mayo!" Superman opens the crate to find that it contains many bottles of tequilla. "Perhaps we should cease this senseless fighting and enjoy the holiday." suggests Spartacus. Red Son Superman smiles and nods. "Salud!" he toasts. They take their share back to their respective camps, and the celebration begins.

One hour later...

With the tequilla flowing freely, the violence erupts, as is the tradition of Cinco De Mayo. Duke Nukem curb stomps Jawas #1-6, before taking a spear to the spine from Spartacus. Barca and Lord Katsumoto are battling, but the superior skills of the Last Samurai makes short work of the gladiator, ending him with a slash to the neck. Agron is furious and attacks, but his emotions (and booze) make him sloppy. He leaves himself open to a sword through the abdomen. Varro aproaches, but then kneels to vomit. Lord Katsumoto attempts to seize the opportunity, but is stunned by a blade in his chest. He realizes his mistake as he dies, for Varro's sickness was a feint. Varro joins Lentulus Batiatus, who is in a losing battle with Conan. Varro's help is not enough and Conan takes their heads with a single powerful sword strike. Gannicus is not impressed and engages Conan with a smirk. They are evenly matched, with many dodges and parries. At one point, their swords clash and they both lose hold of their weapons. Gannicus uses a Pankration slam to put Conan in the ground, and finishes him with multiple hammer fists to the face.

The Prince of Persia and Bruce Lee are having an acrobatic fight. Lee dodges many scimitar stikes, and delivers a rapid succession of kicks to the Prince's sternum, caving in his chest for good. Spartacus, Red Lantern Crixus, Gannicus, and Doctore regroup and surround Bruce Lee. Knowing that shit just got real, Lee breaks out his patented nunchucks. Naturally, Red Lantern Crixus charges first. Lee avoids him, but the back of Crixus' skull was not missed by the nunchuck, and it is shattered. Bruce Lee spins and blows out Doctore's jaw, while simutaniously concussing Gannicus. Another quick pair of strikes and they are downed in unison. Spatacus recovers his spear from Duke Nukem's spine, and fires it at Bruce Lee. Sadly, nunchucks are a poor defense for a thrown spear, and one of the true masters is killed.

With a solid buzz acheived, Fizzatz Haderach and Star Sapphire Julie relax in what little shade they can find. They are approached by Lucreta Batiatus, Naevia, Mira, and Melitta. "We are not interested in this battle. Surely the handsomest of all Kwisatz Haderachs deserves a harem!" offers Lucertia. Fizzatz raises an eyebrow as he looks at Julie. She scowls and uses her ring to encase the women in crystal. Not the typical Violet Corps rehabilitating crystal, just the suffocating kind. The women are asphixiated and the crystal becomes their caskets. "So... just for the record... We are "NO" on the harem thing?" asks Fizzatz as a well deserved slap puts that idea to bed permanently. Finished with his bout, Spartacus walks to the resting couple. "Stand and fight." he says to Fizzatz. "Why?" questions Fizzatz, "We have already won.. Our sandworms were too few to take out your sandworms, but a double sun powered Superman evened the odds. They were eventually killed, but your remaining sandworms were destroyed by the Celestial Thorion. This was no easy task, even with his Cosmic Rod augmented by Aule." "How can you be so sure?" questions Spartacus. He is answered by the giant boot of Thorion, which crushes the life out of the gladiator. "Didn't see that coming...." jokes Fizzatz as Julies shakes her head.