The Royal Highness Vs. John and Vader's House of Sith Aids

John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids are: Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, The Guardians of The Galaxy: Starlord, Groot, Rocket, Gamora, and Drax, Lucario, Desmond Howard, State Farm Agent, Kit Fisto, Snoopy the Dog, and Larry, Moe, and Curly.

The Royal Highness is The Flash (Barry Allen), Batman Beyond, The Blue Marvel, The Thing, Miracleman, Invincible, Batman, Human Torch, Mr. Fantastic, Midnighter, Paul Atreides, Demolition Man, Supergirl (Matrix), Ronan the Accuser, Good Luck Bear, and The Grandmaster.



Welcome all, to the famous sports opening of The Fantasy Fantasy League!! Baseball will be our sport of choice to open up this “purge year”, chosen exclusively, because it requires the most amount of players, and then we get to kill more people because that is what we’re in to here at The FFL (#Isis). In this week’s game, we will be putting Designated Hitters to use; but the pitchers will still be hitting as well in a ten man batting line-up. We are doing it this way, because as I have discussed at length for the past few years, (#The Majors LIVE, #TMSNX Radio) this is the system that I truly wish The MLB would adopt. But don’t worry, for those of you who think this would not work; because I am pretty much the only person on the planet that is for this. So, considering that I am in fact the Watcher in this match, we’ll do it my way, this one time only

Now for the game:

The Sith Aids are the home team today (I flipped a coin, they were tails). Which means that famed Jedi Knight “The Chosen One” himself Anakin Skywalker takes the mound. Anakin can really bring the heat, but he is known more for his control of the ball, basically putting it wherever he wants it. Batters who have faced him in the past have even sworn that the ball even seems to slow down on occasion before it reaches the plate. First up to bat for The Highness is The Flash; no, not Dwayne Wade; but Barry Allen. Here comes the pitch: The Flash bunts the ball right in front of Skywalker, who uses his Jedi speed and reflexes to grab the ball, and turn to safely throw to second knowing that this batter has unheard of speed. But even in his overestimation, Anakin underestimates as The Flash has already turned his bunt into an infield homerun. The score stands one to nothing after the first pitch. Anakin is fuming already as 2nd baseman Terry McGinnis comes up to bat. This young Batman looks BEYOND confused as three quick curve balls zoom right past him, giving Skywalker his first K of the day. The Blue Marvel steps up to the plate next, he watches the first pitch fly by for strike one, then a couple of balls, but then sends one down the line between second and third. The Blue Marvel races around first but Gamora sends it on over to Star Lord to try and catch him on second. SAFE. The Thing comes up next and starts out with a mighty swing and a miss, he then barely catches Anakin’s next pitch but his strength still has it heading for the fences, luckily for Sith Aids, Desmond Howard uses the superior intellect he gained at Michigan, matched with the amazing athleticism that got him in to leap up at the farthest point at center field to rob The Thing of a homer. Leave it to a Michigan man to make a play like that (that one’s for you John). Anakin looks deep into the force for an answer before he decides to intentionally walk Miracleman, putting men on 1st and 2nd; but then gives up a double to Invincible. Both men score. Batman ends up with a strike out for out number 3. Batman then takes the mound as Anakin comes up to bat. Anakin hits what looks like a possible leg-double; but somehow the ball just keeps moving up and out of the park. Homerun!! Groot comes up next and starts talking some smack to the catcher The Thing by saying: “I am Groot”. Batman puts some good spin on his balls and although it takes him 9 pitches to do it, he strikes him out. Drax comes up next and crushes a homer off Batman into deep left field, but Starlord pops out to Miracle Man at center. Gamora hits a ground rule double, but Ahsoka hits into what could have been a double play if the two outs were needed.

End of the 1st: Highness 3 Sith Aids 2

Human Torch, Mr. Fantastic, and Ronan make for a quick 1,2,3 inning for Anakin, while Batman retakes the mound. Lucario pops out to short, while Desmond gets a single. The State Farm Agent strikes out, while Snoopy’s hit is snagged by First Baseman Reed Richards. No score in the 2nd by either squad.

Now, I’m not one of those dicks that thinks that Baseball is boring, but I fully acknowledge that me writing about it probably is, so I’ll zoom ahead a couple of innings and cut to the chase.

Flash continued to do the same thing every time he was up, only running into problems when other people where on base and he wasn’t allowed to pass them on the baseline; while Anakin could hold most of The Highness at bay; but still ran into trouble with some of their power hitters. Anakin pitched through the seventh, until they brought in Starkiller for the 8th which was a bad idea as he let 9 runs in that inning alone. Kit Fisto closed out the game, doing a significantly better job than Starkiller; but still letting in 2 more runs before the game was over. Although he did pop a two run homerun in the 9th, in addition to his pitching performance.

Batman on the other hand, eventually started to tire out by the fourth inning after having to go up against so many super-humans. He was pulled out and replaced by The Midnighter, who did not have a whole lot more luck than Bruce. The power hitters started really coming into their own, and it helped that Snoopy finally realized that he was too short to have a strike zone so he would walk every time as long as he didn’t swing (known to some as The Josh Houslander rule in softball). Letting in 5 runs in the 5th and another 7 in the 6th. Paul Atreides, set to be the closer, came in in the 7th and by the end of the game had the entire crowd chanting “Ooh Maud Dib” as he used his weirding ways to deliver the ball with sheer excellence. He used his Bene Gesserit training to put careful spin on each pitch placing it wherever he wanted over the plate, as well as running Mentat projections before each batter to know in advance the exact probability of how each batter would swing. The lack of depth in The Sith Aids dugout did not do them any favors either (unlike The Highness who had Supergirl replace Human Torch in the outfield and help out in the batter’s box as well). Paul still ended up letting in 3 runs over those 2 innings; but a good switch nonetheless.

In true Fantasy Fantasy fashion, crap got real after the game when Manager Rocket Raccoon decided that the best way to end this match-up would be to kill the other team. This was broken up quickly by the Watcher Joshatu the Great and Powerful; but before his Greatness could intervene, this resulted in The Midnighter, Demolition Man, Batman Beyond, and Mr. Fantastic dying at the hands of The Guardians and a really pissed of Starkiller.

Some Sith Aiders may have died in the skirmish as well; but their time of death is to be labeled as irrelevant in the eyes of this watcher, for all must die on the losing team this week.

Final Score: The Royal Highness: 30 John and Vader’s House of Sith Aids: 25