Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies

Team Sleeping Pussy is Captain Guts, Weaponer of Qward #1-5, M.O.D.O.K., Giant Man, Black Lightning, Female Sentinel #9, Velociraptor #31-35, Compsognothus #58, Cloak and Dagger, The Vanisher, The Mountain Dew Transformer, Smokescreen, Shi’ar Warrior #1, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Jonah Hex (w/ a yellow lantern ring), The Dude from Quackers, and Elven Soldier #1-10.

Brock Sampson’s Fighting Murderflies are Machete, Ford Prefect (w/ a Zapper) in an Arwing, Zapphod Beezlebrock in a B-Wing, Marvin the Paranoid Android in an Arwing, Trillian in an A-Wing, Oa Guardian #6, Bodikka, Robotic Moe, Robotic Larry, Robotic Curly, Black Lantern Guy Gardner, Navy SEAL Chief #12-13, Navy SEAL #28, & 36-43, Mars Attack Martians #1-10, Al Qaeda Insurgents #5-7, 9-14, 16-18, & Clone Trooper #30-32.

Sup y’all, Pogo here. It must be the space week again. It’s always such a serious and depressing time to be a Watcher, ya know with the coldness of space and all; it just kind of makes me feel like this:

She packed my bags last night pre-flight. Zero Hour Nine am. And I’m gonna be hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, as a kite by then. I miss the earth so much, I miss Nintendo. It’s lonely out in space, on such a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimeless match. And I think its gonna be a long long time till touchdown brings me round again to find, I’m not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no. I’m the Watcher Man. WATCHER MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN. Burnin out his fuse up here alone.

I just wrote that just now, isn’t it good. God, I am so awesome at this stuff; but anyways, let’s take a look at this match shall we??........

Dr. Henry Pym, in his Giant Man guise has created a makeshift space station that is large enough to house the entire Sleeping Pussy Squad, while The Oa Guardian and the Hitchhiker’s crew have put together a counter offensive. Knowing that the casualties would be high, but with little choice, the Martians, Al Qaedaites, Clone Troopers, and SEALs have all been strapped onto the four space-worthy fighter ships, in hopes that at least some of them would make it to the space station alive. Ford Prefect and his zany foursome will then drop off the not-so-unique dudes on their first strafing run and then swing back around for another attack. The Elven Soldiers begin picking off the Martians before they even get dropped off the ship; but then what is left of them use their ray guns to even the score. The Al Qaeda radicals begin to take back a bit of their hatred of modernity, once they are ripped apart and then eaten by the velociraptors, right before the raptors and the compy gain an animal-cyborg sense of humor via the magic of postmodern technology and then laugh to death after they are subjected to the hilarious slapstick antics of the robotic three stooges. Shi’ar Warrior #1, in a case of true 9 death love then avenges his scaled (or are they feathered???????)?? teammates and takes out Larry, Moe, and Curly (btw, who’s offlisting robotic Shemp next season)??

Machete and Capt. Guts, much like the two owners of the teams at play here, both completely ignore the fact that this match is taking place in space and begin a pitched battle with each other (first Season 8 Becks shout-out). They do a bunch of super-beefy, manly stuff to each other, and then finally realize that neither of them are tough enough to handle the vacuum of space once their space suits are destroyed (although they are close).

The Weaponers of Qward take flight and do their best to hold off the second wave of Oa Guardian #6, Bodikka, and Black lantern Gardner, despite their valiant 9 death stand, the Weaponers are only able to stop Bodikka. Cloak and Dagger, then both blast and absorb The Oa Guardian and Gardner into their own form of nothingness; but then they disappear as well. Disappear at the hands of The Starchild that is, as he knows that they will be needed by Team SP later, and that this cannot be their final appearance. This prompts Giant Man to become furious at Bowman for making his first appearance in the match by removing two of the most powerful characters from the team. Bowman simply looks upon Dr. Pym and makes him aware that he cannot possibly understand, nor does he need to.

Female Sentinel #9 proves her worth, as well as the worth of all of her sisters who have gotten virtually no love from The Watchers (especially that loser Joshatu), even though they have been taking up valuable space on The SP Roster since Season 1. The quicker, sleeker Sentinel takes out every one of the Navy SEALs and clone troopers single-handedly before Chief #14 luckily hits the Sentinel’s self destruct.

The final wave of The Murderflies comes next. Zapphrod Beezlebrock blasts Black Lightning, on his suicide run, while Ford Prefect takes out M.O.D.O.K. Marvin the Paranoid Android easily pilots his Arwing, while hitting The Vanisher with a perfectly placed laser blast. Trillian, has the best shot of all, as she blasts The Mt. Dew Transformer blowing his caffeine-laden spark to pieces.

As the goofy foursome crash lands into the space station, taking out its creator Giant Man, Smokescreen, and Shi’ar Warrior #1. The Dude from Quackers bursts into tears at the death of Giant Man: the man that provided him with all he needs (being of course tight pussy, loose shoes, and a warm place to shit). Jonah Hex gets ready to jump into action, but The Starchild decides that this match has come to an end and wipes out the remaining Murderflies while he simultaneously transports the remaining members of his squad back to base.