The Striders of Rohan Vs. George Washington's House Elves

The Striders of Rohan are The Balrog of Moria, Legolas, Goblin #1-20, and Xenomorph #1

George Washington's House Elves are Lucius Malfoy, Snake Plisken, Sgt. Slaughter w/ Red Dog, Mercer, and Taurus, and Robert Hudson w/ Vampire #1-4.


Sup Dorks, it's been a long slumber; but The Neon Master Pogo is back in style!! Joshatu the Stuffy had me locked in a closet in some Hood Apartment in Westland; but now that the league is in full swing, I am out and ready to party!!

The Pogester is comin at you with a good one this week. See, I did my homework and I know what's up. Yeah, I know it is preseason and this match doesn't count for crap; but we got the guy that drafted the Balrog of Moria vs. the guy that drafted Gandalf and we just so happen to be broadcasting from the Mines of Moria. I mean talk about perfect. It's pretty much just gonna be the “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” Scene that we all dug so much in Fellowship of the Ring; but with a little added flare from the Master of Neon himself. I'm gonna chill over here off to the side, because I'm not gonna lie that stone staircase with no handrail that these cats are about to square off on is givin me the creeps. Taurus just took that wicked curved sword of his and sliced Xenomorph #1's head clean off, but then his concentrated acid blood sprayed Taurus in the face; so they both died; but it's all good because swords are about to be of no use heere anyhow. Snake Plisken just drop-kicked Goblin #6 & 8 into the pit, but Legolas, who is perched on the top step put an arrow through Snake's one good eye. Legolas is hanging back and even the Goblins are looking a little nervous as the big bad shows up and comes on to the scene. The Balrog of Moria is looking as fierce as ever and I have got to tell ya, there isn't a pair of pants with out feces in em in this place. The Balrog starts swinging his whip and goin all cray-cray. He knocks Mercer, Red Dog, Vampire #3 & 4, and even his own teammates Goblin #2-4, & 18 into the pit. But Gandalf is ready to go and there is no way he is gonna let this Balrog pass if you know what I mean. Gandalf is lookin great by the by. Dude shaved AND combed his hair. He also traded in his staff for a much sleekeer smaller version. I never would have guessed this; but when Gandalf rocks the clean cut look he kind of looks like the bad guy from The Patriot, but Mel Gibson ain't here tonight so guess what kids, this is about to get REALZ son. Sgt. Slaughter and The Daywalker himself Robert Hudson give each other a wicked-gnarly handshake, bro-hug combo before they lead the two remaining vamps in a pitched battle (shout-out Becks) against Goblin #13-17, which results in all of them getting kicked by a firey Balrog leg off the staircase.

And here comes the part we've all been waiting for........ Balrog Vs. Gandalf, and I get to call it.... Eat your heart out Tolkien and Peter Jackson, and whoever did that goofy cartoon back in the day, cuz the Poginator is going to tell this tale better than all them put together. And here we go. Gandalf looks nervous but he pulls out his mini-staff and.......... Ehh... Hold up.... Know what guys, I don't think that is shaved Gandalf after all. Straight up Dogg. I think I effed up. That might be the dude who was mean to Dobby in Harry Potter. And he just got knocked in the Pit. Match is over..... This was straight up my bad. Dang. Joshatu's gonna kill me.