Season X Week 5 - Turrible Decisions vs. Super Kitties

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Spectre, Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, and Quinn, The Borg Queen, Borg #1-10, Boba Fett & Odo (In the Slave 1), Yaddle, Mace Windu, Hal Jordan, Alan Scott , Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Batman in the Golden Age Batmobile, Fortress Maximus, Fortress Maximus's Head, and Fortress Maximus's Head's Head, Deadpool, Kwisatz Haderach Duncan Idaho, Paul Atreides "Maud Dib" , Neo-Cymeks #1-2, Krayt Dragons #1-2, Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor, and Tentakil, Black Manta

Super Kitties are: Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Polaris in a V-Wing, Scarlet Witch in a V-Wing, Hermione Granger, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Hades, Blackfire, Starfire, The Red Hood, Arsenal and Mr. Spock in a Snow Speeder, Darth Traya (w/a red lantern ring), Michael Myers, Splinter, The Protectobots (Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, and First Aid), Prof. Minerva Mognonagle, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, Scooby-Doo, Scrappy-Doo, and Scooby-Dumb in The Mystery Machine, Bubba Duck, Gold Dragon #1


Things are pretty boring for Arsenal and Mr. Spock in their Snow Speeder. They search the frozen tundra of the Playoff Planet for hours and find nothing. Spock looks over to his right at Gold Dragon #1 who is assisting in the search thinking it might be time to call this off and go assist in the city. Suddenly the alarms go off. Missile Lock! Arsenal has no time to swing the guns around before Boba Fett and Odo in the Slave 1 riddle the hull of their ship with bullets and projectiles and turn it into shrapnel. Gold Dragon gives quick chase but Boba has already adjusted his flight path and as the giant beast pauses to breath out his death, Boba sends a volley of shots into the dragon’s open mouth. Odo, from the co-pilot seat, thinks to himself how majestic this creature looks even in death as it spirals and lands on the frozen surface below.

Much, much further away, closer to the equator, Starfire and her sister Blackfire are dragging themselves through the desert with teammates Michael Myers, Splinter and Darth Traya. Michael is complaining about how hot it is under the mask while Splinter and Traya try to talk him into taking it off to show his real face when suddenly a kindjal is driven through the rat’s chest. Duncan Idaho and Paul Atreides are able to easily sneak up on the Super Kitties because of their stealth like, sand walking abilities. Duncan is able to easily block Michael Myers’ knife attack and finish him off. Paul is having a bit of trouble with the Fire sisters, deflecting their laser blasts with his body shield. Assisting the Barkley team is the NeoCymeks and two Krayt Dragons. Blackfire takes a break from attacking paul to dispatch the two cymeks. While Traya is distracted firing her sabers at Krayt Dragon #1 and killing it, Duncan times his attack at Traya sneaking between her flying lightsabers and beheads her. He then picks up two of her sabers and directs his attack at Blackfire. The sabers are too much for her and as he runs both through the torso of Blackfire, Starfire fills with rage and is able to kill Duncan from the side. Paul uses this chance to gain the upper hand on Starfire and slashes her throat. Paul then mounts the Krayt Dragon (Targaryen Style) and flies away.

“Quack Quack” says Bubba Duck shortly before he is in the middle of a huge robot fight in the water. It’s hard for me to tell who is killing who as it’s just metal all around and I don’t know anyone’s names but in the end, Bubba Duck is dead along with all the protectobots for the Super Kitties and Snaptrap, Nautilator, Overbite, Seawing, Skalor and Tentakil for Barkleys. Fortress Maximus emerges from the fight dazed and The Red Hood quickly offs his head (and his head’s head). The Black Manta burns a hole in the chest of Red Hood as a thank you for killing his teammate. Saint Walker floats over to pick up the Blank Manta in a cool green boat he constructed with his GL Ring when the sky suddenly rains bullets down on them. Polaris and Scarlet Witch light them both up and their bodies fall to the bottom of the sea.

Polaris and Scarlet Witch take to the sky and meet up with the battle already happening in space. The Spectre and all the Q’s (Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q and Quinn) have been battling Supergirl and Powergirl. Black Widow is able to kill The Borg Queen (which deactivates Borgs #1-10) before helping with the Spectre/Qs battle. Polaris and Scarlet Witch circle the Q’s in their V-wings and the overwhelming about of girl power on display from the Super Kitties, somewhere Kathleen Kennedy is smiling. The Spectre sees them on the edge of defeat and sacrifices himself and his Q buddies to explode in a tremendous force of energy that kills everyone in space.

“Yoinks a doinks, Scoob. I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this one!” exclaims Shaggy as the Mystery Machine tears down the street in the city section of the playoff planet. With Fred at the wheel, they are locked in a tight game of chicken opposite Batman who is coming head on in the Golden Age Batmobile. The crime solving team shouts encouraging words to Fred, urging him not to slow down or change course. He obliges his friends and they all pay with their lives as the Batmobile tears the hippie van apart like tissue paper. Spiderman shoots a web onto the windshield of the Batmobile and Hermione uses a spell to move a dumpster into the road. Batman hits the dumpster and the car deflects into a nearby building killing Batman on impact because he’s a normal dude and normal people die in car crashes. Hades falls to a Mace Windu lightsaber attack while Hermione, professor Mogonagle, Neville Longbottom and the older Weasley brothers return the favor to the Barkley’s with a flurry of green flashes uttering the incantation that is normally reserved for he who shall not be named. But this is war, and war requires good people to toss out a killing curse every once in a while. Also falling to the killing curse are Yaddle, and fellow green lanterns Hal Jordan and Alan Scott. Paul Atreides is able to come in and torch the five wizards and witches with his Krayt dragon before being knocked off his perch and falling to his death along with the dragon. The fire consumes the crew from Hogwarts and Deadpool shows up to make sure the job is finished with a few quick slashes of his swords.

Spiderman hears Abeloth groan and die at the hands of Deadpool who turns and looks at Spiderman. These final two in the city stare each other down briefly before Spiderman ensnares Deadpool with a web and hangs him from a lamppost.

“Got anything clever and inappropriate to say now?” taunts Peter Parker.

“Sorry you lost…” says Deadpool as Spiderman’s explodes. 

“Took you long enough!” Deadpool says now directing his words at Boba Fett who is perched on the top of a nearby building.