The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

The Striders of Rohan are The Guardians of the Galaxy: Starlord, Gamora, Drax the Destroyer, Groot, Rocket, Nebula, Mantis, Yondu, and Kraglin in The Benatar, Apocalypse, Capt. Marvel, John Stewart, Blue Lantern #1-2, Red Lantern #1-2, Wolverine (w/ a red lantern ring), Adam Warlock, Seaworm #1-9, Sandworm #1-2, Ghost Rider, Circuit Breaker, Hancock (in a Frog Suit), The Balrog of Moria, Gandalf the White, Blue Wizard #1 & 2, Samwise Gamgee, Gondor Soldier #1-15, Nazgul #2 w/ his Fell Beast, Jedi Master #1 in Anakin's Starfighter, Admiral William Kelley & Jedi Master #2 in a AT-AT, King Kong, Jedi Master #3 & 4 in an AT-AT, Jedi Master #5 & 6 in an AT-AT, and Jedi Master #7 in a Stealth X-Wing.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Dr. Manhattan, The Father, Son, and Daughter of Mortis, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Brainiac, Vision, Reverse Flash, Franklin Richards, The !2 Guardian Knights, The Witch King of Angmar and his Fell Beast, Poseidon, The Doom Patrol: The Chief, Mento, Elasti-Girl, Robotman, Negative Man, & Beast Boy, Revan, Ras Al' Ghul, Havoc, and White Lantern Zachary Houslander.


Michigan Vs. Ohio State, The Yankees Vs. The Red Sox, USA Vs. The USSR, TEAM Vs. The Horsemen of Apokolips. A Watcher of my stature knows a great rivalry when he sees one. And although this one just may be just beginning, it definitely has the makings of an epic rivalry built into it. Let us begin:

King Kong, has not been on the Playoff Planet long; but he has already established himself as the dominant force within the eco-system of the forest. His dominance is in question though, once The 12 Guardian Knighs make an appearance and start terrorizng the area. They merge to form Dragonstorm and begin to search the area for the large gorilla rumored to be in these parts. King Kong leaps down in front of the Transformer Gestalt, but Dragonstorm blasts him in the chest with some lasers. Kong is blown back, and badly injured but manages to escape away to a cave he had discovered earlier.

The Witch King of Angmar, through his mental connection to the other Ringwraiths easily tracks down his fellow Nazgul in the jungle. Nazgul #2 draws his sword, but both of them know how the battle will play out. The Witch King is the leader of the Ringwraiths for a reason and easily dispatches Nazgul #2. After the former King of man dies, his Fell Beast lands next to the Witch King and lowers himself in hopes for forgiveness. The Witch King pets the creature, but then runs him through with his sword as he must with his enemies.

Brainiac and Vision have set up a fortress laboratory in the heart of the city, but Apocalypse shows up to disrupt their research. Apocalypse has brought Circuit Breaker with him, but the young woman has no idea what her teammate has in store for her. As the two Striders stride into the Assassin base, they are greeted with arrogant quips from Brainiac. Vision stands ready for an attack from the fierce Apocalypse, but that wasn't necessarily the one he should be worried about. Apocalypse grabs his own teammate Circuit Breaker and rips her in half flinging both parts of her into Vision, frying the circuits of The Avenger. Apocalypse then begins to grow in size in preparation for his battle with Brainiac. Brainiac begins to power up for the battle as well and states: “I can handle any kind of fight big guy, but you should know that brains always beat brawn”. Apocalypse grows even larger and says: “That's what smart guys always say before I beat the Hell out of them”. Brainiac then moves towards the ever growing Apocalypse, but the ancient mutant delivers a fist that crushes Brainiac into the ground. Apocalypse then picks up a table from the laboratory and smashes it over Brainiac before stomping in the head of his opponent with his massive foot.

Deep in the depths of the Playoff Planets Ocean, lies the formidable water crew of the Striders. Nine Seaworms circle the area, while Hancock swims gracefully watching them in his Frog Suit. He mumbles to himself: “I could be flyin around the skies, tearin up the city right now; but I'm floatin down here in my Frog Suit. That's aight tho. I'm just the frog suit guy now. That's who I am”. Poseidon shows up alone, but is a water team all by himself. He begins to do battle with the massive Seaworms, but quickly starts to tame them into his control. Hancock sees his not-so-bright teammates begin to switch sides and is not too happy about it. “OH HELL Naw. Hey (*&^)&)(* What chu doin to my worms pal”?!!? Hancock screams at Poseidon.

Poseidon responds: These worms are in this sea, and everything in this sea now belongs to me”.

Hancock shakes his Frog-eared covered head and says: “How about we do Plan B instead?? I stick you up a Seasworm's butt and then another Seaworm eats that seaworm before the first seaworm poops you out”.

Poseidon is incredulous to the words of his opponent and says: “What a ludicrous statement, especially coming from a silly boy dressed as a frog. I am a god, you cannot possibly do battle with me”.

Hancock, now furious states: “BOY. BOY IN a FROG SUIT!! I'm a MAN IN A FROG SUIT *(^)(&^&(%”.

Hancock then levels Poseidon with a punch that would send a semi-truck airborne. Poseidon recovers and begins swimming back towards Hancock to retaliate, but Hancock is ready for him. Hancock tells him that: “Ya know, way back in the day people thought I was a god too, now here in modern times they just know Ima bada**” Hancock tackles Poseidon who begins pounding on the super-hero as they move back into the circle of seaworms. Hancock realizes that he can't make good on his promise, because the seaworms don't really seem to have butts. But Hancock instead attempts to throw Poseidon into the open mouth of the seaworm. Hancock is successful, but Poseidon refuses to let go, which sends both combatants through the razor sharp teeth of the seaworm. The two high-powered combatants are both swallowed by the seaworm, but such a massive amount of power is contained with them, that the other worms cannot help but be drawn to it. The worms converge around the power source and eat each other until the power is no more.

White Lantern Zack Houslander is flying around the city loving his white lantern ring. He is learning how to do mid-air flips and is looking extra cool in his super tight, bright white shirt complete with the white lantern emblem and his short white shorts to show off his wicked awesome calf muscles. He stumbles upon an old man with a staff, also dressed in white and says: “Sup Bruh, you must be on the other team. We should do battle. My name's Zack. I'm a White Lantern and kind of a big deal; so I'm probably gonna mess you up Homeboy”.

The old man removes his hood and says: “Hmm, my name's Gandalf young man. Gandalf the White. There are many magical rings in this universe. There power should not be taken lightly. But I am beginning to get the impression that you don't have a clue as to how to actually use the power within that white ring”.

“Yeah right Dogg, you see me flying around, don'tcha”?? “I got this White Power thing on lockdown”. He starts to trail off..... “Crap. White Power, that sounds kinda racist when I say it like that. I need to come up with something better than that. I don't need those kind of labels if I'm gonna be a wicked gnarly superhero”.

But, while Zack is contemplating how to describe himself in a politically correct manner, Gandalf raises his staff and sends a white light in the direction of Zack that slices him in half.

Off near a secluded pond, Ras Al Ghul sits pondering how he can become master of this new planet he has been thrust upon, when he hears someone stealthily approaching. He greets his visitor who introduces himself as Wolverine. “Welcome Wolverine, I see you have come alone. That is both brave and noble of you, but forgive me for saying that it is also very foolish. You see, I have been around for many, many years and have had the best challengers. And nobody has ever been able to defeat me in one on one combat”.

Wolverine retorts: “Well Bub, I gotta say that that just ain't the truth. Cuz you see Bub, I've been around a long time too. And you ain't fought me yet”.

Ras, then produces a sword, while Wolverine pops his claws with a “SNIKT” and the fight commences. Ras is able to connect with a few sword swipes to Wolverine's arms, but they quickly begin to heal. Wolvie then manages to break the defenses of the master assassin, slicing off the right hand of Ras with his left claws and stabbing him in the neck with his right claws. Wolverine retracts his claws and continues on to the next battle.

Back in the forest, hidden under a large outcropping of trees is the wounded and frightened King Kong. He is licking his wounds, when he is all of the sudden overcome with a glimmer of hope. The two Blue Lanterns fly towards Kong and speak to him. Kong's dialect may be very primitive, but the blue OA rings translate everything and make the giant ape and the alien lanterns completely understand each other. The Lanterns begin to explain that the team needs Kong as they gently heal his wounds with their powers. Over the horizon, Dragonstorm is wrecking the two AT-ATs driven by Jedi Masters #3-6. The huge Transformer has already punched the Stealth X-Wing out of the sky and blasted Anakin's starship with lasers. Dragonstorm stands triumphant over a mess of Star Wars vehicles. King Kong has been brought back to 100% physically and wants to attack; but is too frightened by the metal monster. Blue Lantern #1, gently pets the back of the large head of Kong to bring back the hope that was lost. He speaks to the Ape and says: “Your healing is almost complete, but the next step must be done by you”. The Blue Lantern points in the direction of Dragonstorm and says: “We have healed your body, now you need to kick his A**”. With that bit of encouragement, King Kong leaps out from behind the trees and delivers a surprise upper-cut to Dragonstorm knocking him on his back. The gestalt gets back up and a massive brawl of massive beings ensues. Dragonstorm hits Kong with some building-leveling blows, but the ape fights through them and delivers a series of punches to the face and chest of Dragonstorm. The Transformer begins to smoke and malfunction, when Kong hits him with a powerful kick to the midsection, which breaks the gestalt apart and extinguishes its spark.

As all these side skirmishes come to a close an enormous battle with the remainder of forces is about to commence in the Desert.

Starlord speaks into the com of his ship: “Hey boss, looks like everything is set for the final attack”.

Admiral Kelley answers: “Alright Quill, let's hope what we have left is enough to take out what they have left”.

The Witch King may have proved himself superior in his battle against his fellow Nazgul; but isn't quite the nastiest thing Middle Earth has to offer. This was proven when The Balrog of Moria used his huge whip to strangle the undead life from the Wraith.

The Doom Patrol takes on the Gondor Soldiers and Samwise. The Middle Earth swordwielders manage to take out their leader The Chief, but can't do much else against the high-powered team and they all fall to their super-powers.

Capt. Marvel flies in fast; but Dr. Manhattan uses his powers of time manipulation to send her back to the 1980s when nobody cared about female super-heroes causing her to become irrelevant and disappear. John Stewart manages to catch the Reverse Flash with a green energy mesh barrier that contains his speed force for a few moments causing him to vibrate into nothingness. Dr. Manhattan sees this impressive display of power and realizes that he must send John Stewart all the back to the 1950s before they cared about black super-heroes.

The Red Lanterns, Blue Lanterns, and Blue Wizards all try and team up against The Mortis Family, but they can't seem to overpower the mastery of Force balance wielded by them.

Havoc hits The Benatar with some solar energy making it spin out of control, but all of its inhabitants eject to safety and begin battling with The Doom Patrol. Beast Boy turns into a T-Rex and eats Kraglin and Mantis, but is then pounded to death by Drax. Robotman cracks the metal skull of Nebula, but is similarly broken to bits by Gamora. Yondu catches Negative Man going back into his body with his whistle wand thingie, but not before Negative Man gets into the body of Drax to disrupt his organs and kill him. Yondu then attempts to do the same to Mento, but Mento uses his powers to send the arrow right back at Yondu through his heart. Starlord gets revenge by blasting Mento repeatedly with both of his blasters. Elasti-girl grows to giant size crushing Gamora, but Rocket and Groot manage to knock her off balance and finish her off.

The two enormous sandworms come lunging out of the ground, and when Dr. Manhattan sees them, he instantly realizes that they cannot be defeated in this territory. He uses his powers to teleport the sandworms to his home on Mars, where they can either die or create a new Dune. Adam Warlock sees this amazing display of power and takes advantage of Manhattan when he is at least slightly weakened from such a feat. Adam uses his cosmic power to revert Manhattan back to human form just for a few seconds, which is long enough for Adam to project an energy blast into him and kill him.

Revan manages to get out of the way of the flaming motorcycle heading towards him, just in time to slice the head off of Ghost Rider. He then manages to Force Leap onto the back of the AT-AT cut his way inside with his purple lightsaber and kill Jedi Master #2 before he even realizes that he was there. Bill picks up his Jedi buddy's lightsaber and ignites it, but is not successful in his attack on Revan. The AT-AT crashes to the ground as Revan leaps back out of it.

Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian are taking on Starlord, Rocket, and Groot with relative ease, when Apocalypse joins the fight proclaiming that he is “the most powerful mutant ever”. Franklin Richards hears this and says: “That's cute” as he mind-blocks Apocalypse killing him instantly. Without the help of Apocalypse, the remainder of the Guardians fall to the might of the Martians.

Franklin is pretty proud of himself after taking out Apocalypse, but hubris gets him as he doesn't see the huge foot of The Balrog crushing him.

Revan rejoins the battle, but is caught off guard by a red energy laced claw from Wolverine, who then moves in quickly and dispatches Miss Martian the same way. An infuriated John Johnz gets revenge by breaking the lantern ring and ripping Wolverine's head clean off.

As the battle comes to a close, the exhausted combatants from each side give one final push. The Son of Mortis delivers a force generated sword through the heart of King Kong, who was in the middle of squeezing the life out of Martian Manhunter.

Gandalf in a last ditch effort consumes the power of The Balrog of Moria that originally helped him gain his new found power as Gandalf the White in order to battle the combined powers of the Mortis family, as they easily dispatch Adam Warlock. Only Gandalf stands for the Striders against the Father, Son, and Daughter, and Havoc, who attempts to take cover behind a huge boulder. Gandalf channels the ancient power of both him and the Balrog and vanquishes the Force user in one massive explosion which kills them, but also powers up Havoc to capacity. Screaming in pain, Havoc must unleash the force he has absorbed and uses it blast the weakened Gandalf to pieces.....