TEAM is: Muhammad Ali, Mike Tyson, Ron Popeil, Morton Downey Jr, Earthworm Jim, KC Munchkin, Wheelie, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, and Dr. Wily.
The Midgets are: Link, Atrocitus, Kobe Bryant, Duncan Idaho, Green Lantern #1A, Don Rickles, Jimmy Olsen in a Tanooki Suit, Smurf #10, Ewok #10, and Zombie Predator.
It was a decidedly average day in Bob's humble hamburger restaurant. A simple man, he wished only to prepare delicious sandwiches with his loving wife and children. The heavy grease smell in the air was a warm comfort to Bob as he whipped up the burger of the day, the "Aioli Diver". They hadn't been selling well, turns out people weren't lining up to try his creative seaweed aioli. With his newest recipe crafted, he walked it out to the customer.
"Alright, here's your 'Aioli Diver', that'll be... wait, aren't you uh, Ron Popeil?"
"Why, yes I am, Bob! Inventor of the Pocket Fisherman, but I'll bet you're more of a Whip-O-Matic fan yourself, aren't you?"
"Uh... sure, I usually just use an electric mixer if I'm gonna be doing any whipping, but-"
"Electric mixer?! Oh, but you're losing so much time with those old things. And think of the money you could be saving on electricity, Bob!"
"Okay, yeah, but I'm pretty sure-"
"What if I told you I could sell you not one, but TWO Whip-O-Matics for just $10.98, the original price of a single Whip-O-Matic? They're selling faster than the delicious hotcakes they produce! I wouldn't let this one pass you by!"
"RON, OKAY. I get it, the Whip-O-Matic sounds great. But seriously, aren't you dead? Okay, this can't be real. I shouldn't have trusted Teddy to fix that broken gas line after the match against the Dino... oh, wait, no, NO! Ron, PLEASE tell me this isn't another Fantasy Fantasy League match."
As the unfortunate truth dawned on the beefmonger, a frantic Pack of old crooners burst through the door, covered in blood. Frank Sinatra shook around a disembodied leg. "Aw, Ron, this ain't good! They're hot on our trail, look what they did to Sammy!" He gestured the leg meaningfully.
"Oh, this isn't good, did you try using the-"
"We USED the Pocket Fisherman, Ron, it was no good! The old scientist and the worm fella were holding them off, but they're dyin' out there! The Midgets got some big red guy who's breaking more bones than I did in the 'family business'! What are you doing in here?!"
"Well, I was just trying to talk to my new friend Bob about some great kitchen innovations to increase his pro-"
At that moment, a bright red helicopter of solid light smashed through the ceiling to the restaurant, killing everyone inside on impact. Atrocitus sifted through the rubble as Zombie Predator looked on, and from the wreckage he pulled up a shattered Kobe Bryant.
"YOU HAVE REDEEMED YOURSELF, BASKETBALL MAN!"
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3 comments:
The Midgets are victorious!
Atrocitus and Zombie Predator survive.
TEAM: All dead.
Classic. I have had my revenge on TEAM. (Sort of).
Beautiful. Funny stuff as usual man.
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