Week 2: Popeye's vs Midgets

 Popeye's is: Earth 2 Superman w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Dark Phoenix, Crack Frank on a 4 Wheeler and his 5 Dank Troopers (Dark Troopers #1-5), The Night King and 5 White Walkers, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon.

The Midgets are: Superman, White Lantern Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #5), Alf (w/ Dwarf Ring) #3, and Dr. Tony Fauci (w/ multi-colored rainbow pride lightsaber) in Josh's Flying Pontiac Fiero GT w/ Hyperdrive, Pre-Flood Methuselah Dave Parks (w/ Green Lantern Ring), John Rambo, Rick (w/ Red Lightsaber) and Morty (w/ Fire Flower) in an Apache Helicopter, Professor Pyg in Ratts Tyrelle's Pod Racer, Magneto, and Earth Benders #1-6.

In the ruins of Onett's world-famous video arcade, a wizened form hunches over a fire kindled by the splintered remains of a pinball machine (which was made of flammable materials for some reason). He peers up slightly through the hood of his robes, at you, the reader. "Come, friends, sit a while... and I'll tell you the tragedy of Onett's Eternal Winter. It is a brief tale, but one as old as time. You see, it all began back in '22..."

A totally sick, cherry, hyperdriven flying car zips over the west end of Onett on a winter's day, in a deep and dark March. Following them is an Apache helicopter A freshly fallen shroud of silent snow covers the streets below, trodden by a massive horde of blue-eyed, zombified members of Onett's Shark Gang. Dr. Fauci points a bony finger to the hordes and turns to Superman. "You see? I told you, I told you there was an outbreak! The whole city needs to be quarantined before ZOMBAIDS-22 spreads to Twoson, then Threed, even New Pork City!" In his fervor, he ignites his saber and leaps from the vehicle, driving his saber through a White Walker's head, killing off a good portion of the resurrected wights. Unfortunately, he is ancient, and he turns to shattered bone dust as he and his saber hit the ground. "Deranged, he was" Yoda mutters before turning his sights to a 4-wheeler tearing a wake through the snow. Crack Frank flips a double bird to the flying Pontiac, and his 5 Dank Troopers follow suit. "Yo buttholes, nice ride! NOT! Couldn't be bothered to fly, Superman, your arms got tired?" Superman scowls. "Oh, he did not just trash the Fiero! I'm going down there." Superman unbuckles his safety belt, which he always wears every time even if the car isn't in motion, and emerges. Suddenly a fireball crashes into the vehicle and blows it apart. Alf is disintegrated, Yoda is thrown to the ground, and Superman is barely fazed until Superman 2 comes barreling into him.

From the east, Professor Pyg speeds in on a pod racer, while Magneto and the Earth Benders follow behind. Pyg blows through crowds of wights and Walkers, dropping them by the dozens, along with a rando Lagoon fish creature that happened to be out for a stroll. A javelin flies through the air, spearing him off of the speeder, which crashes into the buildings nearby. The Night King's loyal White Walkers have perished, but he remains standing. Magneto attempts to manipulate his sword, but its material is unaffected by his magnetic powers and he too is cut down. The Earth Benders, however, act in unison to fold the ground around The Night King, crushing him. With the zombies eradicated, they march toward the commotion across the city.

Back on the West side, Superman is being run into the Earth by Earth 2 Superman. White Lantern Yoda stands up, shaking off the daze of his fall, and runs his white light saber through Crack Frank and his troopers. He looks up to see Dark Phoenix grab hold of the Apache Helicopter being flown by Rambo. She swings it through the air before chucking it into Yoda. Rick is seen jetpacking out of the helicopter just before it's thrown, dragging Methuselah Dave and Morty along with him. The Earthbenders arrive in time to see Earth 2 Superman heal his wounds with the blue light of hope, fully revitalized to pummel his Earth 1 counterpart's head into a pulp. As he and Dark Phoenix begin to tear up the Earthbenders, Rick groans loudly in frustration. "That's it! That's it Morty, I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna do the- the big... science... kryptonite bomb, the explosion Morty! Everyone loves an explosion, it's the best way to end a match! Everyone knows it, nobody wants to admit it... f*** it, I'm gonna do the thing!" He pulls out his portal gun, makes a portal to his lab, and reaches in to produce a small beeping device full of green, glowing ore. He straps holds it in the air and charges into the battle. "EAT DEUS EX MACHINA, B****!" The city is wiped away in a blast of radiation.

"Well... that's how she goes, isn't it? Time after time... What's that? You're wondering how I survived the blast? Well... obviously I hid. Ol' Antediluvian Man Parks didn't get to be this age without learning when it's time to avoid responsibility." The old man winks as fire dies out and the night turns to black.