Week 8 - Dolla 49 McRib vs Darkseid's Horsemen of Apokolips

Five Dollar Filet O’Fish: Blackfire, Optimus Prime, Roller, Combat Deck, Brachiosaurus #1-15, Dr. Alan Grant, Ronan the Accuser, The Fallen, Dead Men of Dunharrow #1-10

Lightside Followers of the New Age: Flash w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Superboy, Blockbuster, Nekron, Black Lantern #1-3, Indiana Jones, Paradoom #1-5

Ahh, yes, the forest of Robin Hood. We’ll have to spend this week over the pond hanging with some Brits that are in desperate need of some quality dentistry. When reading this match, imagine my portrayal to be an appropriation of a terrible British accent. Anyhow, on this Earth (Earth-9238562719836748273654387692), each of these characters are slight variations of their Earth-1 counterparts in that each of them are rubber duckys instead of human beings. I know what you’re thinking, “How can rubber duckys move on land? They have no legs.” And see, you’re right. But in this universe the laws of physics and nature are not the same as we know. Here, these rubber duckys can move without any apparent visual information that supports it. It’s almost as if they are able to fly, but only ~0.000001 nanometers off the ground. Now to be a rubber ducky, it’s in the name that you are made of rubber. Therefore, all these transformers, dinosaurs, aliens, humans, etc. are all made of the same malleable material. Don’t get me wrong, they still have their respective powers of sorts. Now that you get the logistics of it, that’s enough yapping, time for the match.

The McChickens (McRibs) have set up camp amongst the array of trees. It is the Pig Ladies (Horsemen) who take offensive action on the resting McDanks duckies. The dead men do not rest and thus were not caught off guard from the attack and were able to quickly counter the black lanterns. Although, their own demise occurred soon after from the paradooms. By this time, the brachiosauruses have awoken and start wreaking havoc across camp for both teams. Superboy is found going dino to dino as he struggles with taking down each of them without any rubber ducky arms, he’s more just ramming them… ayo. While Superboy is distracted, Blockbuster and Nekron advance onto the rubber transformers. It’s an awkward battle as both squads can only simply run into each other without being able to do hand to hand combat, but eventually Optimus is the last standing. Meanwhile, Indiana Jones whips Dr. Grant like it was a different century (he used the whip with his mouth considering he has no arms). After much energy is used, Superboy defeats the last dino.

Ronan and Blackfire go to attack Superboy while he was weak, but the rubber ducky Flash stops them. He zips so fast all around them and continually distracts them while Superboy soaks up the sun’s rays in between the cover of the trees. The paradooms come to help the Flash but are quickly dismantled by the duo. Flash keeps playing with them… ayo… until Superboy comes back and full speed flies through each of their bodies. Optimus does not stand for this (or at all because he’s a rubber ducky) and swipes through the rubber kryptonian with his sword-like beak. Following this, Indiana Jones steps up and whips Optimus’ beak so hard that it falls off. The Flash moves quickly and shoves the freehand Optimus beak back into its original owner.