Doctor's Mad House: Frank “Wendeezys” Metivier w/ Endless Zyn & Pack of Four Loko, Kurt Houslander w/ Power Glove, Chris Artrip: Fremen Warrior, Invincible Crew (Invincible, Atom Eve, Dupli-Kate, Robot, Rex Splode, Allen the Alien), Hancock, Black Noir, Gabby Kinney, Predator #4-7
Dolla 49 McRib: Picollo, Brolly, Ultraman, Wonderwoman, Mandarin
Sandy’s by the Beech had seen a lot, at least one raccoon in a Lions jersey but nothing like this.
The neon beer signs flickered like they were trying to clock out early. A lone bartender slowly backed away as the door blew open with a gust of dramatic, totally unnecessary wind.
Dolla 49 McRib entered like they were late to a universe-ending convention.
Piccolo ducked under the doorway, scowling. Broly cracked his knuckles, already vibrating with rage. Ultraman stood rigid and glowing like a malfunctioning streetlamp. Wonder Woman surveyed the room with warrior focus. The Mandarin casually rotated his rings like he was about to ruin someone’s Yelp rating forever.
At the bar, Doctor’s Madhouse was mid argument about whether Four Loko counted as a “strategic resource.”
Frank “Wendeezys” Metivier didn’t even turn around. He just cracked open another can.
“Hey Kurt, you feel that?”
Kurt Houslander flexed his Power Glove. It whirred like an overworked microwave.
“Yeah. The Boss is playin.”
Chris Artrip fully in Fremen warrior mode slowly turned, sand somehow falling off him despite being in suburban Michigan.
Robot scanned the room.
“Hostile entities detected.”
Rex Splode stood up immediately.
“Cool, I’m gonna throw stuff.”
Broly roared and charged.
He slipped on a mozzarella stick.
The entire bar paused.
Broly hit the ground so hard the jukebox switched to Cotton Eye Joe.
Before he could stand up, Dupli-Kate created 30 copies of herself, all pointing and laughing. One handed him a napkin. Another put a tiny paper hat on his head.
Broly stood up, furious.
Rex Splode threw the hat.
It exploded.
Broly flew backward through three tables and into the dartboard
Piccolo stretched his arm across the room dramatically and accidentally clotheslined Ultraman.
Ultraman, already glowing, slammed into a neon sign. The sign flickered, overloaded, and blasted him with about 40 years of dive-bar electrical debt.
He didn’t explode. He just… powered down like a sad appliance.
Piccolo blinked.
“…That seems medically concerning.”
Before he could react, Chris Artrip appeared behind him and whispered “Desert power.”
Piccolo turned and walked directly into a ceiling fan that had no business being that low.
The fan snapped, flew off, ricocheted around the room, hit Piccolo three times, and embedded him in a stack of bar stools
He slid down slowly. Cooked
Wonder Woman leapt forward, lasso spinning.
Hancock yawned.
She threw the lasso
Dupli-Kate multiplied again, and suddenly the lasso snagged fifteen different Kates.
They all pulled in different directions.
Wonder Woman spun like a Beyblade, smashed into the pool table, launched a cue ball across the room
which bounced off Robot’s shoulder, hit the wall, ricocheted into a plaque
which startled Wonder Woman just enough that she tripped over Allen the Alien’s foot.
Allen looked down.
“Oh. Sorry.”
She faceplanted into the bar. The bar, having had enough, collapsed like it was unionizing mid-fight.
End of Wonder Woman.
The Mandarin raised his rings dramatically.
“Witness true power”
Frank threw a Four Loko.
Not even hard. Just… casually.
The can clipped one ring.
The ring fired.
Into another ring.
Which misfired into the ceiling fan remains.
Which dropped directly onto the Mandarin’s head like a metal frisbee.
He staggered.
Rex Splode tossed a bar stool.
It exploded.
Mandarin vanished in a cloud of smoke, glitter, and at least one regret.
Broly stood up again.
He was done slipping.
He powered up, aura shaking the entire building.
“FINALLY,” he roared
and immediately got dogpiled by four Predators who had been invisible the entire time and just decided now was their moment.
Laser sights danced across the room like disco lights.
Broly tried to swing
but Atom Eve casually redirected the floor beneath him into a soft, glowing ramp.
He slipped again.
This time he slid across the entire bar, out the door, and into a parked car that exploded for no reason whatsoever.
The Predators nodded approvingly.
Ultraman flickered back on for half a second.
Robot looked over.
“Still active.”
Rex Splode threw a peanut.
It exploded.
Ultraman shut off permanently.
Silence.
The jukebox switched tracks again.
Free Bird.
Frank took a sip of Four Loko.
“Alright. Who’s paying for damages?”
Sandy slowly emerged from behind a tipped over fridge.
“…you guys saved my life.”
Hancock shrugged.
“Put it on his tab,” he said, pointing at Broly, who was still half stuck in a car outside.
Allen the Alien leaned on the bar wreckage.
“Fun night.”
Dupli-Kate (one of many) raised a glass.
Chris Artrip nodded solemnly.
“The spice… was chaos.”
Kurt flexed the Power Glove again.
“Still works.”
Robot scanned the scene one last time.
“All hostiles neutralized.”
Frank cracked another can.
“Yeah. And nobody died on our side.”
A beat.
From outside, a car alarm weakly chirped.
Everyone ignored it.
Sandy’s by the Beech returned to normal… which, somehow, was still just as chaotic as what just happened.
Posts
4 comments:
The Doctor's Madhouse are Victorious! There are punishments for not getting a team to me by the start of the weekend and its called the Wood Chipper.
Everyone from the Madhouse survives
Ik theres not a pool table at Sandy's as well. They had one for the sake of the story
Four Loko does count as a strategic resource
Frank and Kurt would’ve been a dangerous duo back in the day…
Awesome match dude!
Post a Comment