Le' Napoleon's Brigade vs Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Le' Napoleon's Brigade is Jaws, Skyfire, Alan Scott, The Penguin, The Lochness Monster, The Sando Aqua Monster, Silver Dragon #4-9, Emperor Palpatine, Darth Nihilus, Wonder Woman, Atrocikus, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Ring), Power Girl, Allia Atreides & Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 (Kwisatz Haderach) in a Swiff Boat, Glinda the Good Witch, & Courtney Cox.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Mighty Mouse, Amantia, Larvox, Toad (Magneto's bitch, not Princess Toadstool's Bitch), Duncan Idaho Ghola #5, Thundercracker, Wheely, Dragon #1-6, Bat-Mite, Megalon, Gamera, N.S.-5 #35 & 36, Kermit the Frog, Vampire #100, Beachcomber, Salacious B. Crumb, Avian #1, Purple Dragon #13 & 14, Simmell, Capt. N & Duke, Squirtle, Smurf #2, Hammer Bros. #11-16, Peppermint Patti, & Marci.

“Does anybody else feel like we are going to get our butts handed to us today?” asks a concerned Captain N. “We fight on until the end, no matter what we have to overcome,” sternly replies Duncan Idaho Ghola #5. Just then, Duke the Dog yelps and is dragged underwater to his death by Jaws. Mere moments after that, there is a massive eruption out of the Atlantic as the Lochness Monster and The Sando Aqua Monster both reveal themselves and swallow all six Hammer Bros, Salacious B. Crumb, Smurf #2, Peppermint Patti and Marci. “Your road to the playoffs ends here Brotherhood!” exclaims Wonder Woman as she flies overhead with Alan Scott and Guy Gardner flanking her. Six Silver Dragons follow them closely behind. There is a sonic boom heard as Thundercracker flies in fast towards the Brigade. “I’ll take care of him,” Skyfire says as he rockets after the Decepticon. They engage in a fierce dogfight, but Thundercracker just cannot match Skyfire’s abilities and eventually is shot out of the sky. “Ok for crying out loud! We are getting killed out here!” yells Captain N. He sends Dragons #1-6 and Purple Dragons #13 and 14 to attack the Brigade’s Silver Dragons. The combined efforts of the Purple Dragons’ psychic attacks and the Dragons’ fire breath overwhelms the Silver Dragons, but they manage to take down Dragon #4 and 5 before they all fall in to the dark waters. Guy Gardner has been order to stay back and use his yellow ring to create a giant yellow platform for the rest of his team to stand on. From there Emperor Palpatine blasts Beachcomber with Sith Lightning and shorts out his circuitry, killing the pacifist Autobot. Mighty Mouse shoots into this battle with great intensity. He first, without hesitation, flies right through The Penguin’s face and then rocks Power Girl right in the jaw. “What the hell just hit me?!” exclaims Power Girl as she is rubbing her jaw. “Here I come to kick you ass!” shouts Might Mouse. Power Girl is having serious trouble catching the small powerhouse, but then Mighty Mouse makes a fatal mistake. He flies in too close and gets sandwiched in between Power Girl’s heaving bosom. She then uses them to literally crush the life out of Might Mouse. “Wow, never thought I’d use these things to actually kill someone,” Power Girl says to herself. “That was disturbing,” Alan Scott says as he flies by. N.S. 5 #35 and 36 leap onto the yellow platform and quickly sneak up and kill Courtney Cox, and try to attack Darth Nihilus, but both receive several lightsaber swipes for their troubles. Glinda the Good With floats over the water in her pink bubble and overwhelms Vampire #100 with good, wholesome magic that it destroys his dark heart. Allia Atreides and Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 ride in on their Swift Boat. Toad, Captain N, and Kermit the Frog all climb out of the water and board the Swift Boat. Toad flings his tongue at Duncan Idaho Ghola #12, but the Kwisatz Haderach is far too skilled for Toad to handle and before he even realizes that his tongue has been cut off in mid-air by a crysknife, he finds that same crysknife deep in his chest. Allia then disposes of Kermit the Frog in what I can only describe as one of the most vicious and stomach turning acts that I will be forever burned into my memory. Captain N tries his best to hit one of them with his blaster, but they are both too much for him to handle and he receives a crysknife to the back of the neck. They then dump the bodies overboard as they continue their assault. Jaws then makes another pass and eats Simmell. Megalon and Gamera then surface from underwater and try to even the odds. Jaws swims through the water at great ease, but Megalon impales the Great White Shark with his drill like appendage. The Sando Aqua Monster then attacks Gamera. The two giant creatures battle in the water, which is causing massive waves. Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 and Allia Atredies are both tossed from their Swift Boat, which drives out of control and crashes into the side of Gamera. This hardly even affects the giant turtle. However the Sith Lightning that Emperor Palpatine shoots at Gamera does affect him. This attack allows the Sando Aqua Monster to bite down and pull Gamera deep down into the depths of the ocean and finishes him off. Atrocitus flies in filled with rage, and blasts Avian #1 out of the sky. He is then double teamed by Amantia and Larvox. Though they are both valiant Green Lanterns, The Red Lantern’s hate filled power is too much for them and they both are ripped to shreds by an energy blast from Atrocitus’s red ring. Glinda is then confronted by the mischievous Bat-Mite. They duel with their magic capabilities, with Bat-Mite gaining the advantage. He finally gets the better of her, when she takes too long to cast her next spell, and he vaporizes her (or at least, that’s what I think happened, since she just vanished). The Purple Dragons fly low to the water, but this ends up being as mistake. The Lochness Monster snatches Purple Dragon #13 out of the air and pulls it into the ocean. Wheelie uses his slingshot and flings an energon pellet at Wonder Woman, which really just pisses her off. She flies fast down towards the water and with one quick motion; she rips the head off of the annoying Transformer. Skyfire soars in and attacks the remaining Dragons. His advanced technology and expert flying abilities are more than enough for him to take care of Dragons #1-3, 6 and Purple Dragon #14. “Alright Power Girl lets end this fight,” Wonder Woman says to her teammate. Guy Gardner flies in, eager to actually start fighting, which causes Emperor Palpatine and Darth Nihilus to drop in the water. The Brotherhood though is not prepared to go down without a fight. Megalon blasts Duncan Idaho Ghola #12 and Allia Atreides away with his red napalm bombs. He is then attacked by Alan Scott, Guy Gardner, Atrocitus (what a weird combination!). The three lanterns use their rings in a combined effort and bring down the giant monster. Power Girl swoops in and picks Duncan Idaho Ghola #5 out of the water and launches him into the atmosphere. Bat-Mite then turns Darth Nihilus into a Limited Edition Action Figure (which will be auctioned off for Heroes Without Homes immediately follow this match). Bat-Mite then feels something strange. That something is Emperor Palpatine’s lightsaber sticking through his chest. Squirtle then finds himself alone against Le’ Napoleon’s Brigade. He tries with all his might and lets loose a powerful stream of water towards them. But it is not enough, Wonder Woman flies up behind him and viciously rips his shell right off his back.

LE’ NAPOLEON’S BRIGADE IS VICTORIOUS!

Bryatu's Disease Infested Body

To the entire league:
Please be advised that I have been struck with the disease which I heard caused the downfall of a martian race which invaded Earth as seen in "War of the Worlds." To add to the insult that such a minor pathogen would infect this body of perfection is the fact that a secondary injury of pulling the entire musculature of my midsection has occurred, leaving me somewhat disabled in the "breathing department." I am led to believe that if I had a "six-pack" instead of my "no-pack" I would not have suffered such a substantial injury. Finally, my spouse has left me with my heirs alone. She is attending a wedding in Cali whose guest list I am heard is made up of those people who do not warrant TMZ following them around. Thus, without her love and the assistance of others, I must focus on my children's growing minds and do not wish to warp them even more by having them gaze at the Wikipedia characters which run across my computer while I write my matches. Based on all of the previously mentioned items, I have requested an additional three day reprieve from Joshatu (and Ryatu) in the posting of my matches. . . I am sorry for the inconvenience - I have failed you all. . .

-Bryatu

Week 8: Death Match

Setting: The Pacific Ocean
Points: 699
Prize: Rebel Alliance Snow Speeder

-Le' Napoleon Brigade Vs. The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets
-Built Ford Tough Vs. Brock Sampson's Fighting Murderflies
-Better Than All of You Vs. Xavier's Annihilation Squad
-The Untouchables Vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
-The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Abomitrons
-Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches Vs. Team Sleeping Pussy
-TEAM Vs. Alice's Wonder Team
-The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley
-George Washington's Slaves Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Week Seven Standings

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies vs The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets

Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are The Maxx & Julie Winters, Doc Brown, Lorne Michaels, Speedy Gonzalez, Brak, Dobby, (Brain Damaged) Beowulf, Sarah Palin, The Groovy Gang: Ted, Val, Patty, Sonny, & Groovy, Jay & Silent Bob w/ Suzanne, Forge, Bob: Agent of HYDRA, Agent X, Aunt May, Hellboy, Lobo, Dark Claw, The Technibots, Rancor #1, Ewok #4-40, The Power Puff Girls: Blossom, Bubbles, & Buttercup, The Planeteers, Ted Nugent, Brock Sampson, & Kyle Rayner.

The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is Tom Bombadill, Flint Fireforge, Robert Muldoon, Gwildor, Wicket, & Paploo in a Hummer, Ewok #41-46, Haldir, X-23, Omega Supreme, Superboy, Ch'p & Dr, Ub'x, Salaack, Asajj Ventress, Mangy Mouse, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, Nazgul #3 w/ Fell Beast, Aurra Singh, Pythona, Ryachu, Gamera, Mas y Menos.

Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies are all very excited for this opportunity to unleash their Ewok battalion in their home turf. And Forge has outfitted all of them with special weaponry. All 37 Ewoks scatter into the trees as they ready for battle. They were however, not prepared for the team that The Brotherhood sent out to meet them in this encounter. Asajj Ventress and X-23 rush in and immediately eviscerate the entire Groovy Gang as well as Aunt May and Lorne Michaels. Superboy and Wonder Man then follow them quickly. The two powerhouses fly in each take on two of the Murderflies’ bigger members, Rancor #1 and Brain Damaged Beowulf. Wonder Man blasts BDB with a massive amount of ionic energy and then makes him just plain “Brain Dead Beowulf.” Rancor #1 then chomps down on Superboy, who puts his arms up to pin the giant beast’s jaws open. He then uses his heat vision to blasts a hole through the back of the Rancor’s skull. The Powerpuff Girls spring into action, tired of this initial stomping their team is receiving. They triple team Aurra Sing and blast her away with their combined powers. Ted Nugent likes the three little girls’ style and follow suit by shooting Dr. Ub’x right between the eyes with a flaming arrow. Rogue flies in and drains the life out of The Maxx and goes slightly crazy for it. She then smashes Julie Winters into mush. Hellboy runs up and punches Rogue with the Right Hand of Doom and sends her crashing into a tree. He then turns around and shoots Mas y Menos with the Good Samaritan. The Technibots for Computron and starts knocking down trees. The Autobot gestalt is then faced with a challenge that they are unable to compute a victorious scenario; Omega Supreme. Computron valiantly attacks Omega, but is simply overpowered and all five Technibots are destroyed. Robert Muldoon then takes aim and shoots Suzanne the Orangutan. Jay and Silent Bob freak out at the loss of “their girl” and brutally beat Muldoon to death with branches. The fighters then hear “By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!” The Planeteers have called upon Captain Planet in hopes to turn the tides in this match. He instantly begins to control the plant life surrounding everyone. Flint Fireforge and Gwildor are strangled to death by some tree roots. X-23 cuts her way out of some roots and slices through all of the Planeteers, even Suchi the monkey. (Especially Suchi the monkey.) She then swipes at Brock Samson’s chest but her razor sharp claws barely cut him. He gets angry at her ruining his favorite black shirt and Brock kicks X-23 in the gut. Brock is about to continue beating on X-23, but his attention is drawn to Pythona who swipes at his back. The team leader then wraps Pythona in a bear hug and squeezes until her spine snaps. Haldir dodges Ted Nugent’s flaming arrows and then puts three arrows right into the Motor City Madman’s chest. Sarah Palin, who avenges her fellow NRA member, then shoots the elf in the throat. Salaak and Ch’p then engage Kyle Rayner. They try to double team him, but he pretty much give all the Kyle Rayner-haters the finger by quickly and almost effortlessly blasting both Green Lanterns away. Lobo then gets his hands on Ryachu, who tries to electrocute Lobo, but all it does is singe him a bit and make him smell even worse. Lobo then crushes the Pokemon with his bare hands. Gamera then stomps his way in and blasts several of his plasma fireballs at the Murderflies’ camp and kills Speedy Gonzalez, Bob: Agent of H.Y.D.R.A., and Doc Brown. Dark Claw pops his claws and slices Mangy Mouse in three small pieces as the Mouse flies by. X-23 then sneaks up behind Dark Claw and tackles him to the ground. Dark Claw kicks her away and leaps back to his feet. The two the tear into each other in a bloody and vicious fight. Before long, X-23 stands victorious, but only for a moment, as she collapses to the ground, exhausted and seriously wounded from the fight. She then crawls her way over to a tree and leans up against it, allowing her healing factor to kick in and get to work. Tom Bombadil blasts Dobby with some powerful magic before the house-elf could teleport. He then finishes him off with some more magic. Nazgul #3 swoops in on his Fell Beast and in one pass the Fell Beast snatches Brak in its mouth and eats him. Agent X targets the Fell Beast and brings it down by unloading two full magazines into its neck. The Fell Beast crashes to the ground and Nazgul #3 is thrown from his mount. The Nazgul then stalks and chops the head off of Agent X. Rogue then flies up and attack Captain Planet and drains all of his powers from him, letting the mullet-wearing tree hugger fall to his doom. A big tree trunk then swings right at Asajj Ventress, but she slices through it with her lightsabers. She then does a back flip and lands on the other one that was thrown at her. The Powerpuff Girls then simultaneously attack her, but in a blur of lightsabers, Blossom, Buttercup and Bubbles are all struck down by Ventress. All of a sudden, a Hummer come crashing in, completely out of control and smashes into a tree. Out come Wicket, Paploo and Ewoks #41-46. They instantly all scatter into the trees and attack the Murderflies’ Ewoks. The Brotherhood Ewoks find themselves all ensnared into a net however, since the Murderflies’ Ewoks have been setting up camp this entire battle. All 37 Ewoks come out of the trees and slaughter The Brotherhood’s Ewoks is a completely tasteless fashion. The Forge-enhanced Ewoks all scamper into the battle, but they completely forget about Omega Supreme and Gamera are still in this battle. Omega Supreme squashes Ewoks #4-16 without even noticing it. Gamera blasts his plasma fireballs and kills Ewoks #27-33 as Gold Dragon #3 swoops in and incinerates Ewoks #17-23. The forest now smells like barbequed dog hair. Omega Supreme the uses his sensors to target the tiny furry creatures and blows the rest of them away. “Crap. We really put our whole plan behind those little guys,” says Brock Samson. He then looks at what his badly depleted team is still up against, which is Omega Supreme, Gamera, Tom Bombadil, X-23, Superboy, Wonder Man, Asajj Ventress, Gold Dragon #3, Wonder Man, Rogue, and Nazgul #3. As team captain he feels that it’s best that what’s left of his team retreats and live to fight another day.

THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL MIDGETS IS VICTORIOUS!

TEAM vs The Abomitrons

TEAM is Superman, Streaks, Comet, Thor, Thunderstrike, Ragnarok, Treebeard, Galvatron, Depa Billaba w/ Jedi Padawan #16, Yareal Poof, He-Man w/ Battle Cat, Set, Bloodwynd, Nightmare, Baby Wolverine on a 4-Wheeler, Lord Katsumoto, Gannon, Willow, Gen. Thade in a Tank, Jackie Chan.

The Abomitrons are Batman, Robin (Dick Grayson) in The Batmobile (Golden Age), Ace the Bat Hound, Smaug, Iron Man, Capt. America, Bucky, Nomad & Baby Bucky on Speeder Bike, Hancock, Blade, Leviathan, Cerberus, Ben Tennyson, Gwen, Kevin, Mrs. Voorhees, Beast, Kirby, Stryfe, Abin Sur, Commander Cody, Capt. Rex, Elite Clone Trooper #22 & 23 in a Land Speeder, Elite Clone Trooper #24-25, Rotta the Hutt, & Naboo Soldier #1 in a Tank, Fineas & Ferb w/ Perry in an AT-ST, Mara Jade (Jedi), & Death Adder.

The moment The Abomitrons are teleported to the Forest Moon of Endor, they are immediately attacked. Galvatron uses his arm cannon to annihilate the AT-ST that Fineas, Ferb, and Perry were all riding in. Thor then leads Thunderstrike and Ragnarok into battle. Ragnarok, though, has been having serious difficulty working with these two Thors, as he thinks that he is actually the real Thor and not just a cyborg/clone. He flies ahead of Thor and Thunderstrike and immediately goes after Hancock. “Aww Hell no. I dare you to hit me again, Goldilocks!” Hancock says as he wipes some blood from his mouth after being hit in the face with Ragnarok’s hammer. The Thor clone b-line’s it right at Hancock again, but this time he is wrecked with a vicious uppercut by Hancock. Ragnarok is sent sailing backwards. Hancock flies up into the air, hot on the heels of the staggered Ragnarok. He then wrestles the hammer away from the Thor clone and since it’s not actually Mjolnir, he is able to wield it. Hancock then brings the hammer down as hard as he can and obliterates Ragnarok’s synthetic skull. The Thor clone’s limp body the crashed back down to the ground. As Thor and Thunderstrike fly into battle, without warning or provocation, Thunderstrike slams his mace into Thor. “Thou are a TEAMmate, valiant Thunderstrike. Why would thou strike me?” asks a surprised and dazed Thor. “I….don’t….know…” replies Thunderstrike as if he is battling something within himself. Death Adder and Stryfe, who is using his telepathy to control Thunderstrike, attack the two Thors. Death Adder’s massive axe and Thor’s hammer clash, and then Stryfe uses his telekinesis to hit Thunderstrike with a massive boulder. Thor uses Mjolnir to bring down several powerful lightning bolts and sends them coursing through Death Adder, which eventually kills him. Thor then hits Stryfe with his hammer, which releases Stryfe’s mental grip on Thunderstrike. The Thor duo is then able to overwhelm Stryfe and end his life with several well-placed hammer blows. General Thade is currently inside TEAM’s tank, and is not handling the situation very well. He is freaking out and just slamming on the controls with his fists. Naboo Soldier #1, along with the useless Rotta the Hutt, drive up in The Abomitrons’s tank and blow away Thade and his tank, since Naboo Soldier #1 actually knows how to drive the thing. Blade and He-Man are engaged in a well-pitched sword fight. Blade is using his speed and agility to keep He-Man at bay, but in the end the Master of the Universe is simply too strong for the Daywalker to overcome and He-Man buries the Sword of Grayskull deep into Blade’s chest. Battle Cat, Streaks the Super Cat, Comet the Super Horse, Ace the Bat Hound and Cerberus are all fighting each other in a vicious pet fight. Cerberus pounces on to Battle Cat and rips the fearless and powerful tiger apart with his three heads. Ace, though valiant, is really just a German Shepard and has his side kicked in by Comet. Cerberus gets the surprise on Comet and uses his powerful jaws to bite the horse’s head clean off. (If I were The Abomitrons I would then leave said head in TEAM’s locker room as a message, Godfather style. But that’s just me.) Now as it has been through all of time, a cat and a dog face each other for pet supremacy. The saying normally goes “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog” but in this situation, it would definitely have to be changed to “the size of the fight in the cat.” Streaks zips through the air directly at Cerberus and the three headed dog swallows the cat in on gulp. But Streaks blasts through the dog’s stomach and kills the powerful animal. Nomad and Baby Bucky are weaving though the thick forest upon their Speeder Bike, but Jedi Padawan #16 uses her lightsaber to cut the front of the Speeder Bike off, which sends it careening out of control. Nomad is able to safely leap from the bike with Baby Bucky. Depa Billaba then leaps in and utilizing the lightsaber fighting technique of Form VII Vaapaad, she quickly ends the lives of Nomad and Baby Bucky. Ben Tennyson the turns into Jetray and flies at the speed of sound, firing his neuroshock blasts at Yareal Poof, killing the Jedi Master. Gannon and Willow then double-team Gwen Tennyson and overwhelm her with magic and kill her. Kevin then absorbs the properties of a nearby boulder and knocks Baby Wolverine off of his 4-Wheeler. He starts hitting Baby Wolverine as hard as he can with his rock fists, but Baby Wolverine pops his claws and slices Kevin’s arms off. He then cuts his head off as well. As Jetray flies through the air, he is eaten in a quick snap by one of Set’s massive heads. Pamala Voorhees then attacks Jackie Chan and repeatedly stabs him with a machete. As she continues to brutally stab the action star, Lord Katsumoto comes up behind her and decapitates her with his sword. Iron Man flies in and fires his repulsor ray right at Baby Wolverine, blasting the infant mutant away. Commander Cody and Captain Rex lead Elite Clonetroopers #22-25, with “Double Deuce” and #23 riding in a Land Speeder. Nightmare then attacks the Clonetroopers and immediately takes out Elite Clonetrooper #24 and #25. “Double Deuce” then slams the Land Speeder into Nightmare, which stuns him, allowing Rex and Cody to blast him away. Using all of then energy coming from the deceased combatants from this fight, Bloodwynd blasts a hole right through Abin Sur. Treebeard then slowly stomps his way through the forest and steps on the tank that Rotta the Hutt and Naboo Soldier #1 were riding in, probably not even noticing that he did it. Batman and Robin are both ripping through the trees in the Golden Age Batmobile. They fire a grappling at Treebeard’s leg and start making passes around him (a la Wedge from Empire Strikes Back with the AT-AT). They finally bring the Ent down, which allows Smaug to swoop in and burn him up with his fire breath. Kirby then sneaks up and swallows Streaks the Super Cat. He then burps Streaks out as a bunch of stars, now giving Kirby all of the attributes of the Super Cat. Kirby zaps Willow in the back of the head with his new heat vision, killing the magical dwarf. He tries to do the same to Gannon, but he teleports to safety. Beast leaps onto Lord Katsumoto and starts clawing at his armor. The samurai then drives his sword up underneath Beast’s ribcage and kills the mutant. “It’s a shame. I feel like we would have had good conversations,” laments Lord Katsumoto. He then finds himself face to face with Mara Jade. He defends himself the best he can, but her lightsaber slices through his sword almost as easily as it cuts through Katsumoto. Cody and Rex lead Elite Clonetroopers #22 and 23 against Depa Billaba and Jedi Padawan #16. The Clonetroopers are able to take out Jedi Padawan #16 with ease, but Depa kills Elite Clonetroopers #22 and 23 in retaliation. Then all of the fight is brought to a halt by the arrival of Set. The massive seven-headed serpent quickly and easily blasts Bucky and Mara Jade with his cosmic fire breath. But he is then surprised by finding himself attacked by someone of equal or probably greater size than he; Leviathan. The giant monster immediately bites two of Set’s heads clean off. The other five wail in pain as they attack Leviathan in unison. Smaug flies in and tries to aid Leviathan, but one of the heads sees this coming an blasts him away with his cosmic breath. Kirby uses his new powers to fly up towards Set, but is attacked by the one armed, one-eyed Superman, who has finally entered this battle. Though he is missing body parts, Superman’s sheer strength is too much for Kirby to overcome, and the pink puffball plummets to his doom. Superman flies back to the ground where he is met with a shield right to the face. Captain America then lands a huge uppercut to Superman’s jaw, which lifts him off of his feet. Superman then actually spits a couple teeth out of his mouth. He’s then his with a blast of Iron Man’s repulsor rays. Captain America then leaps on top of Superman and hits him several more times with vicious punches. Superman then sees why he is taking on so much damage; Batman gave his Kryptonite ring to Captain America. This is the last thing he sees before Captain America brings his shield down with all of his might and cracks Superman’s neck. “Nice work, Cap,” Iron Man says on his StarkTech comlink. “There’s no way I would have been able to do that if he was at 100%, we got lucky. Let’s hope Leviathan is having the same luck,” Captain America replies. But unfortunately he’s not. Leviathan is being overwhelmed by Set’s power, but before he finally succumbs, he is able to take out three more of Set’s heads. Hancock this entire time has still been dealing with the problem of Thor and Thunderstrike, and amazingly, he is keeping them at bay. He kicks Thor hard in the gut, to knock him away for a moment. He then flies around and behind Thunderstrike. Hancock wraps him in a headlock and squeezes until he hears a pop. Before Thor can retaliate, Hancock is hit by a plasma blast from the ground by Galvatron. Cody and Rex target Bloodwynd and stun him with their blasters, which allows Iron Man to fly in and deliver the killing blow to him. Batman and Robin then join Captain America, Hancock, Commander Cody, Captain Rex and Iron Man for their final attack. Gannon reappears right behind them and kills Rex and Cody with some magic and then teleports away just as quickly. They find themselves with a terrible decision to make. Do they continue fighting the force of Set (with two heads), Thor, Galvatron, He-Man and Depa Billaba or do they admit defeat and live to fight another day. Hancock is about to make the decision for them as he starts to fly up in the air, but Captain America grabs him by the arm and tells him that this fight is over. “I’m sorry friend, we just can’t risk anymore losses,” Cap says to Hancock.

TEAM IS VICTORIOUS!

Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. The Syracuse Valley

Team Sleeping Pussy is Xenomorph #1-10, Brood Alien #1-5, Brood Queen, Khan Noonian Sighn, Unus the Untouchable, Deathbird, Darryl Revoc, War Skrull #1-5, Super Skrull, Skrull #23-27, & Kilowag.

The Syracuse Valley is (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, Casey Jones, Splinter, Nightcrawler, Baby Nightcrawler, Nocturne, Venom, Sith Lord #4 & Sith Lord #5, The Battletoads: Zit, Rash, & Pimple, Sonic, Knuckles, Bossk, Dash Rendar & Leebo in an AT-ST, (movie) Jazz, Sub-Zero, Raiden w/ Kid Thunder, Rob Bartlett, Mr. Game & Watch, Crasher, Scooter, Wald, Hammer Bros. #2-7, Boomerang Bros. #1-6, Fire Bros. #2-7, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-6, Little Goomba #3-5, & Treasure Troll #4.


The queenless Xenomorphs seem to have taken to the Brood Queen and become completely assimilated with the Brood (I don’t want to get into who copied off of who, I am just saying what all us dorks already know, that they are basically the same thing). Deathbird instantly releases all her aliens as the first wave of offense which is exactly what they act as towards the Syracuse Valley’s front line of Defense. Megatron and Starscream transform and take flight while Super Skrull and Kilowag both take to the air to meet them in battle. Fire Bros. #2 attempts to hold the line by rallying all of his “something or other” Bros. brethren, but their weapons are simply no match for the Brood/Xenomorph combination. The Brood Queen herself takes out Fire Bros. #2 who finds that his fire power is of no use against these particular foes while the Queen’s 15 followers mop the floor with the 6 Hammer Bros., Boomerang Bros., & 5 other Fire Bros. The 6 Giant Hammer Bros. have enough power to take out Xenomorph #3, but once the surge of aliens comes thru the Giant Hammer Bros. toughness is dwarfed by their opponents. The Aliens then continue their rampage by finishing off the 3 goombas, Treasure Troll #4, Wald, & even Scooter. Rob Bartlett delivers a wicked shot to the head of Brood Alien #2 with his hockey stick, but it does little damage as he is finished off as well. Nightcrawler notices the 5 original X-Men on Team Sleeping Pussy and says to Nocturne: “Coach Mcgruff told me that he had perfect Intel, on their starting line-up and that they didn’t play the X-Men, but there they are”. Nocturne replies with “you actually got Mcgruff to say something to you. All he said to me was to “take a bite out of Team Sleeping Pussy””. The 5 members of the original X-Men are of course actually War Skrull #1-5, who have been genetically engineered to employ the powers of their teammates the X-Men. Crasher and Mr. Game & Watch team up to try and put a stop to the alien rampage but they are not very successful either. With a little help from Mr. Game & Watch, running interference; Crasher is able to transform into her robot form and crush in the head of Xenomorph #6 before the rest of the aliens kill both her and Mr. Game & Watch. Kahn leads Unus the Untouchable, and the fake Iceman and Beast against the Ninja Turtles, while Deathbird takes to the air along with the fake Jean Gray & Angel to help out Kilowag and Super Skrull. The fake Cyclops then leads a team of 5 more Cyclopses to do battle with the Battletoads. In the air battle, Super Skrull and Kilowag end up teaming up on Megatron while Deathbird keeps tight with her team against Starscream. Starscream uses his machine guns to target Angel (War Skrull #5) out of the sky, but the dogfight with the other combatants continues to heat up. Darryl Revoc gets into the mind of Sub-Zero, to take him out; but the scanner makes a mistake when he does the same thing to Kid Thunder. The attack works fine on the little friendship token, but it sends Raiden into a frenzy. Raiden focuses his lightning power on Revoc to completely fry him. Jazz leads an offensive against the aliens with Dash Rendar in his AT-ST, Sonic, Knuckles, & Bossk. Jazz takes out Brood Alien #3 but is then over taken by the rest of the aliens. Megatron lands in a large forest clearing but is soon met by the Kilowag/Super Skrull team-up. Megatron attempts to blast the 2 of them with his laser cannon, but the 2 of them evade the attack. Super Skrull flies in with his Human Torch powers and then uses his big orange rock fist to put a decent size hole in the chest of the Decepticon. With just this little bit of damage, Kilowag is able to take full advantage, by pumping the weak spot full of enough green energy to extinguish the spark of the Decepticon leader. Dash Rendar, with the help of his trusty droid Leebo, from inside their AT-ST are doing more damage to the aliens than anyone else on their team has been able to do. With their powerful laser blasts, they have been able to take out Xenomorph #1 & 8, as well as Brood Alien #5. The aliens attack the legs of the AT-ST and are able to bring down the walker. Dash Rendar is able to escape the walker before it blows up, but Leebo is not fast enough. The banged up Rendar, now unprotected by the AT-ST, pulls out his side arm, and is able to take out Xenomorph #10 before the other aliens kill him as well. Bossk, is quite the skilled alien killer, which is why he uses numerous dirty tactics to take out Xenomorph #7, and then perfectly target the Brood Queen, to kill her as well. With the death of their queen the aliens lose what little sense of direction they had, but they lose none of their fierceness. The other aliens rip apart Bossk, before he can do any more damage. It is very hard for the aliens to catch Knuckles, but when they do, there is little that Knuckles can do to defend himself. Brood Alien #2 easily rips Knuckles apart, once he is finally caught. The 5 Cyclopses attempt to engage The Battletoads in hand to hand combat, but they are outmatched by the Toads. Zit kills Skrull #23 & 25 while Pimple pops Skrull #26. Rash kills Skrull #24 & 27, but is then hit by an optic blast from War Skrull #1 that rips thru him to end his life. War Skrull #1 is then sliced apart, not by Darth Rave but by his new apprentice Darth Techno. Darth Rave has by no means gotten over the loss of his master Darth Maul, but he is doing his best to relay the fierce fighting style that was taught to him, to his new apprentice. Lord Rave has noticed that Lord Techno is strong with the force but he is not without problems. Darth Techno, who was briefly instructed by Count Dooku during Season 1, was kicked off of The Brotherhood for former member of Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s: Beeyatches: Darth Yardigan. Lord Tyranus claimed that Darth Techno spent too much time partying instead of learning the true meaning of the force. But under the more exciting tutelage of Darth Rave, perhaps Lord Techno will fare a little better. Starscream targets Deathbird with one of his missiles and blows her out of the air but Jean Gray (still a War Skrull at heart) flies head first into Starscream and takes him out in true kamikaze fashion. Khan uses his superior strength and speed to dodge the attacks of Donatello and steal away the turtle’s weapon. With Don’s bo in hand, Khan is able to crack the turtle in the head and kill him. The 2 remaining Battletoads come to help out the Turtles but Khan is able to use Donatello’s weapon on Pimple, to finish him off as well. Raiden pumps Xemomorph #5 and Brood Alien #2 with enough lightning to blow them to pieces, but the acid spray from Xenomorph #5 puts an end to Raiden as well. Sonic the Hedgehog uses his spin attack to take out Xenomorph #2, and is then actually fast enough to avoid the acid spray despite the close proximity of the attack. Darth Rave and Darth Techno jump in with their lightsabers to take out the last 2 remaining Xenomorphs, but Darth Techno gets cocky for just a second to long, which causes him to not notice Brood Alien #4, who rips the Sith Lord apart. Splinter uses his superior martial arts skills to take out the final 2 Brood Aliens, but once the last of the aliens are defeated Unus takes advantage of the exhausted old sensei and uses one of Darth Techno’s 2 fallen lightsabers to kill Splinter. Casey Jones goes into a rage after seeing the death of Splinter and starts swinging his hockey stick like a man possessed. Casey, with the help of his equally infuriated pal Raphael take out both the fake Ice Man, and the fake Beast. Super Skrull then flies down and wraps his elastic leg around the neck of Casey Jones and breaks it, before the thug/hero can do any more damage. Kilowag returns to the heart of the battle and destroys Baby Nightcrawler with a giant green fist, he then turns his ring on Michelangelo and runs him thru with a sword made entirely of green energy. Kilowag then attempts to attack Venom but Venom is able to jump out of the way of the green lantern’s attacks. Venom then jumps into the air and drop kicks the powerful Kilowag to the ground. Venom then uses his symbiote suit to cover the mouth of Kilowag and then pound on his stomach with his powerful legs until Kilowag can no longer breathe at all and is killed. Super Skrull uses his power of invisibility to sneak up behind Venom while he is still getting off Kilowag and attack him. Venom fights back fiercely but once Super Skrull uses his fire powers, backed with the strength of The Thing, Venom is no longer able to compete, and he dies at the hands of the ultimate War Skrull. Raphael, Nightcrawler, Darth Rave, Zit, & Sonic begin pounding on Unus’ forcefield with everything they have got but it is of no avail. Nocturne then begins trying her hardest to teleport inside of the forcefield but Unus keeps making the forcefield smaller and smaller to keep her out. In the end Unus makes the field so small that Nocturne is trapped inside and killed but with the field so small and out of control even the oxygen that Unus needs to survive is repelled which kills him as well. With Unus the Untouchable finally defeated Super Skrull and Khan see that they are both surrounded and outnumbered, which is why Khan gives a signal to Super Skrull for him to protect Khan with his invisible force field and retreat from the battle by air.
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!

Better Than All of You Vs. Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Better Than All of You is Predator #1, 3-19, Gwar: Oderus Urungus, Flattus Maximus, Balsac the Jaws of Death, Beefcake the Mighty, Jizmack da Gusha, Slymenstra Hymen, The Sexecutioner, & Sleazy P. Martini, Gray Hulk, Jedi Guardian #1 & 2, Deathlok, Ghost Rider, John Rambo, Cobra Viper #1, Dozer #4 & 6, & Treasure Troll #17.

Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos is Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Spiderman, Gen. Grevious, Albus Dumbledore, Agamemnon & Juno, Rodimus Prime, Ben Kenobi, Black Adam, Parallax, Kaja Sinis, Dr. Fate, Mary Marvel, Ms. Marvel, Maxima, Dr. Doom, Lady Deathstrike, (movie) Blackout, Rachel Ray, Jen Linley, & Mrs. Doubtfire.


As The Better Than All of You squad appears in the heavily wooded forest of Endor’s moon, the 18 Predators and John Rambo disappear before the rest of the team even starts preparing a plan. As The Commandos appear ready for battle, Spider Man instantly sees the Oderus Urungus led Gwar and says to his teammates “dibs on the demonic guys holding the musical instruments, I am soooooo fighting them”. Spiderman then jumps into action, using the trees to his advantage, as he takes on all 8 members of Gwar. Jedi Guardian #1 & 2 ignite their lightsabers and attack Kaja Sinis, not even realizing that they are squaring off against the man who invented the Jedi order. Black Adam & Parallax fly in to surround Gray Hulk while Maxima flies in to easily dispatch Cobra Viper #1, as well as both dozers and the Treasure Troll without even breaking stride. As a mere observer, I was unable to tell if it was one of the Predators or Rambo who stealthily shot and killed both Mrs. Doubtfire and Rachel Ray who were in an argument over who has the more feminine figure. On the other hand, it was a Predator who snuck up behind Jen Linley to kill her, but once he turned off his invisibility field, and she got a look at him; she had a heart attack and died of fear. The Sexecutioner and Slymenstra Hymen both try to attack Spider Man with large medieval weaponry, but when Spiderman jumps out of the way at the last second they end up running each other thru instead. “Way to stick together guys” Spiderman says. Spiderman then shoots a web at Flattus Maximus as he is jumping out of a tree which catches his neck and hangs him in the process. Gray Hulk and Black Adam begin pounding on each other with their fists until they are both on the brink of exhaustion. Gray Hulk momentarily gains the upper hand in this test of brute strength and breaks Black Adam’s neck, but when Parallax uses his power on Gray Hulk and exposes the Hulk’s fear of almost losing to Black Adam, Hulk’s entire body weakens sending him back to being just plain Bruce Banner. Once this happens, Parallax has no problem killing the frightened human. Ghost Rider races up on his motorcycle, swinging his chain at Dumbledore, but the master wizard simply waves his wand in the direction of the devilish biker to de-seat him from his ride and then quickly finish him off with another spell. Dr. Doom attempts to rally his troops in a joint attack but Deathlok pulls out his laser gun and blasts Doom in the face. Agamemnon sees this happen and blasts Deathlok with a flurry of lasgun bolts to avenge the death of his favorite coach. Sleazy P. Martini sneaks up behind Spiderman with a magical death spear, but Spiderman jumps out of the way again saying: “Alright, Why don’t you just admit it, you guys are a bunch of dirty rotten sons of………. Oh never mind”. Spider Man then grabs the weapon with his web-slingers and redirects it into Sleazy’s heart. Dr. Fate flies around ready to use his magic, but Rambo uses his guerilla warfare skills to jump out of the tree above him and land on his back. Once on the back of the powerful magician; Rambo knocks off his helmet and then slices open his throat to kill him. Parallax is still enjoying his victory over Hulk when Predator #1 appears out of nowhere and blasts the being with some sort of alien weaponry that disintegrates Parallax instantly. Mary Marvel and Ms. Marvel are in search of a fight when a fight comes to them. The 2 powerful females, who thought they were alone, find that they are completely surrounded by Predators, who seem to be working together as a team. The 17 Predators converge on them, but the 2 Marvels fight back. Mary Marvel kills Predators #4 & 7, while Ms. Marvel Kills both Predators #3 & 16, but eventually the Predators use their supreme fighting skills and weaponry to defeat the 2 of them. Lady Deathstrike jumps down to join the battle and takes out Predator #10, as well as Predator #15 with her claws, but eventually she is taken out by Predator #5. Blackout transforms into his robot form right after Ben Kenobi jumps out of the Helicopter. Rodimus Prime than backs up his hot rod/truck cab thingie so Grevious can jump out before he transforms to help out. Rodimus takes out Predator #18 while Grevious sticks 3 lightsabers into the chest of Predator #14. Predator #19 is invisible as he sneaks up on old Ben, but Kenobi uses the force to sense his presence. Ben then spins around with his lightsaber to take off the Predator’s head. Blackout kills Predator #12 with his massive machine gun blasts, but Predator #1 shows back up to blast Blackout right thru his thick Cybertronian hull which destroys his spark. Agamemnon & Juno combine fire on Predator #13 to take him out, but Predator #1 rallies the Predators behind him for a final offensive. Kaja Sinis easily takes out Jedi Guardian #1 & disarms Jedi Guardian #2 without killing him. Rambo’s knife doesn’t seem to be able to fully penetrate the skin of Maxima, which makes her smile as he runs away. The only problem with this show of arrogance is that she didn’t notice that while he was distracting her with his knife, he was also rigging her with explosives and dynamite; which soon go off and take her out. All the Predators unite behind Predator #1 when Dave Bowman shows up and destroys the brave Predator’s molecules completely. With this show of power, Predator #5 signals the retreat for his fellow Predators while Oderus Urungus orders the retreat for what is left of Gwar and Jedi Guardian #2. John Rambo is already long gone, from this forest of war hell.
POP-SUPERSTAR HANNAH MONTANA & PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S “BEST OF BOTH WORLDS” TOURING BATTALION OF COMMANDOS IS VICTORIOUS!

The Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 7 Match: The Horsemen of Apokolips vs. Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve.

In the locker room of The Horsemen of Apokolips are Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, Archangel, Plo Koon, Dementors #11-16, Havok, Balrog of Moria, Swamp Thing, Exitar the Exterminator, Hades, The Sentry, Daken, Venom 2, Moonstone, Charlton Heston, The Stunticons: Motor Master, Drag Strip, Wild Rider, Dead End and Breakdown.

Luke Skywalker: Our owner has hand picked us as the Endor combatants. We should not fail him.

Venom 2: Can’t wait to rip some Kennelz apart!

Daken: Slice and dice!

In the locker room of Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are Ares, Mace Windu on Robin's Motorcycle, Jedi Padawan #30 on a Ducati, Galactus and Nova, Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano in The Outrider, Green Lanterns #1-2 and 4-5, Jade, The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Triton, and Karnak, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday, The Matrix Twins in a Ferrari Testarossa, Peter Petrelli, and Lord Voldemort.

Mace Windu: We need to take advantage of our vehicles on this occasion.

Jedi Padawan #30: You and I on the bikes should be explosive!

I transport the teams to the battlefield.

Charlton Heston authoritatively leads the charge for the Horsemen – as he did when he was Moses in the “Ten Commandments.”

Heston: Come on, you damn dirty Kennelz!

Peter Petrelli takes to the sky and lands on a branch high in the trees. He looks down and scopes his prey: Charlton Heston. Petrelli flies down, grabs Heston and smashes him into a tree. Heston falls down and actually gets back up.

Heston: Is that all you’ve got boy?!?! I’m Heston for G-d’s sake!

Petrelli flies back to the ground and with his hands, uses a “flame” power. The fire sets Heston ablaze. Heston dies - a flaming pyre. Petrelli flies to the trees again and scopes for other prey. As he does, he is suddenly caught by webbing. He cannot break the webs. He looks above and sees Venom 2.

Venom 2: Little Mr. Petrelli,
Stood in a tree,
Waiting to kill Mr. H;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down above him,
And then ripped his arms off!

Venom rips Petrelli’s arms off. Petrelli falls to the ground and bleeds out.

Venom 2: Never did much like nursery rhymes. . .

The Matrix Twins skirt around most of the trees in their Ferrari Testarossa. Soon though, the brush and trees are too thick to maneuver the vehicle. As the Twins attempt to back the car up from the trees which block their way, they are met by the Stunticons Gestalt - Menasor. Menasor uses his punch (with a force of 140 tons) to smash to Ferrari. The Matrix Twins manage to escape. As they phase away from the vehicle, Menasor uses his weapons to kill the Twins. Menasor uses his cyclone gun to blow one of the twins away and uses his silver ionizer sword (with a charge of 50,000 volts) to electrocute the other. After the deaths of the Ferrari and Twins, due to the massively conflicting personalities, the Stunticons separate from their Gestalt and into Breakdown, Drag Strip, Wildrider, Dead End and Motormaster.

Mace Windu on Robin's motorcycle and Jedi Padawan #30 on a Ducati zig-zag through the forest. Moonstone flies above. The ground starts to explode around the cycles as Moonstone uses her energy blasts. Sentry projects an energy field which the Padawan’s Ducati crashes into. Padawan #30 is thrown off the destroyed Ducati. Windu spins Robin’s motorcycle around and the Padawan jumps on. They race off while Moonstone and Sentry give chase. Windu and Padawan #30 manage to escape the eyes of Moonstone and Sentry. As the two race on the motorcycle, Daken springs out of the brush and slices the bike. Now out of control, Padawan #30 and Windu jump off the bike and acrobatically land on their feet. Daken, claws extended, faces the two Jedi. As the two come to him, out spring Plo Koon and Skywalker. Plo Koon easily dispatches with Padawan #30. Windu and Skywalker are somewhat evenly matched until their fracas is joined by Daken, Moonstone and Sentry. The three are too much for Windu, who is sliced by Daken and Skywalker, followed by being blown apart by Moonstone and Sentry.

Jade runs through the forest. She stops as the Balrog of Moria rises from Endor’s forest floor through a hole in the ground. In its hands are a flaming sword and the infamous many-thronged whip of flame. Jade attempts to wound the Balrog to no avail. The whip catches and trips her and the Balrog uses his sword to slice her in half.

The Greek gods face off against one another: Hades and Ares. The God of the Underworld is extremely strong. He begins to use his powers to raise the dead who have already fallen on the battlefield. He will manipulate them as his puppets against Ares. Ares though, being the God of War, has already tactically pre-thought Hades’ decisions and countermanded them. Ares then kills Hades.

Archangel has joined Moonstone, and Sentry. The trio flies through the trees. They are met by Green Lanterns #1-2, 4-5 and Nova. The Green Lanterns combine their ring powers and bat Moonstone around. Moonstone crumples to the forest floor, battered and beaten. The Swamp Thing rises from the mucky ground and carries Moonstone away to recoup her strength. The Lanterns then face off against Archangel and Sentry. Archangel projects his razor sharp feathers that slice through Green Lanterns #1 and #2, who both die from their injuries. Green Lanterns #4-5 team up and blast Sentry. Sentry is injured, but with Archangel’s assistance manages to dispatch of the remaining Lanterns. Nova flies upon the scene and through the use of the power cosmic, the Herald of Galactus destroys both Sentry and Archangel.

Dementors #11-16 float through the forest. They see the Inhumans and focus their destructive energy on same. Before they can even reach their battleground destination, Black Bolt opens his mouth and with his hypersonic voice shreds all Dementors #11-16 apart. After the Dementors are destroyed, the Inhumans focus on the other Horsemen still standing. Karnak uses his master martial arts skills to fight Daken. He senses a weak point and strikes at Daken’s knee. Daken shouts and goes down. As Karnak is about to go for the death blow, Daken’s claws impale Karnak’s foot. Daken then twists Karnak’s foot and brings Karnak to the ground. Daken pummels Karnak repeatedly with his claws. Daken’s healing ability begins to do its thing. Meanwhile, Medusa’s prehensile hair struggles with Venom 2’s prehensile symbiotic appendages. The two battle one another to a near standstill until Venom’s viciousness and ruthlessness takes the upper hand. Venom kills Medusa and then rips out her hair. Venom 2 puts Medusa’s hair on his head. Plo Koon and Grand Jedi Luke Skywalker easily dispatch with Triton.

Venom 2: Anyone like me as a redhead?!?!

Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano fly above in The Outrider. They look below and see Moonstone being carried by the Swamp Thing. The Swamp Thing sees the Outrider and uses his abilities to control the plant life of Endor. The vines and branches of the trees entangle the Outrider. Although the Outrider is not destroyed, its weapons are not enough to stop its plant life prison. Skywalker and Tano jump from the Outrider. The Jedi duo swing down the branches, slicing through the vines as they travel to the ground. As they hit the forest floor, Tano jumps to where the Swamp Thing and Moonstone are. Moonstone, still not dead, uses a blast to shove Tano back. In defense, Tano deflects the blast back at Moonstone. Moonstone is killed by her own powers. Anakin, somewhat angry at his padawan’s death, slashes through Swamp Thing. Grand Master Luke Skywalker and Plo Koon come upon the scene. Skywalker battles Skywalker. Anakin eventually falls since Luke is much more advanced in his Jedi skills than the young version of his father. Plo Koon, his skills far outmatching Tano’s abilities, strikes her down.

The Herald of Galactus is seen, once again, flying through the forest. She sees Havok. Nova uses her cosmic powers against Havok. Using his mutant abilities, Havok is able to absorb the cosmic energy and blast it back at her. Nova is thrown a few miles away.

Lord Voldemort and Dr. Doomsday join Ares. The power trio sees the Stunticons: Motor Master, Drag Strip, Wild Rider, Dead End and Breakdown. No longer in their Gestalt forms, the three know they are more easily defeated. Lord Voldemort uses his sorcery and powers to destroy Dead End. Dr. Doomsday manages to crush Wild Rider. Ares destroys Breakdown.

Galactus and Annihilus come to the scene. Annihilus uses his powers to destroy Venom 2. Galactus then easily wipes out Daken, Motor Master and Dragstrip. Exitar the Exterminator comes to the scene and uses his Celestial power to kill Galactus. Nova flies to the scene and seeing her master, and more importantly the most powerful of the present Kennelz, go down in defeat so easily, uses her powers to retreat with Ares, Black Bolt, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday and Lord Voldemort.

One hears on the Kennelz retreat-

Dr. Doomsday: You weak female - we had the Horsemen where we wanted them!

Voldemort: We had a plan! We had Exitar all but destroyed! You took us too early!

Nova: Tell it to our owner! He’d rather see a retreat than another death notched next to your names!

The Kennelz fly away. . .

Horsemen: Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker, Plo Koon, Havok, Balrog of Moria, Exitar the Exterminator alive.

Kennelz: Ares, Nova, Black Bolt, Annihilus, Dr. Doomsday and Lord Voldemort – alive, but retreat.

THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICOTORIOUS!!!!

Built Ford Tough vs George Washington's Slaves

Built Ford Tough is Han Solo & Chewbacca, Jack Ryan, Harrison Ford, The Torchwood Crew, Aslan, Power Man, Iron Fist, E. Honda, Steve McQueen, The Beatles, USAgent, Barry Sanders, Beta Ray Bill, Bill, Bud, & The Deadly Viper Assassin Squad, The Flaming Carrot, Mr. T, Grapple, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Strong Guy, Solid Snake, Diego & Baby Jaguar, Star Sapphire, Ancient Sith Lord #8 & 13, Mandalorian #7, & Cowboy Curtis.

George Washington's Slaves are Agen Kolar, Marcus Fenix, Augustus Cole, Damon Baird, & Dominic Santiago, Ben Skywalker in a Land Speeder, Bill Rizer & Lance Beam, Cade Skywalker, Bronze Dragon #20, Gonzo & Kamilla in a Go-Cart, Connor MacLeod, Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Loki, Ninja #1-6, Mad Eye Moonie on a 4-Wheeler, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Sgt. Slaughter, Mercer, Taurus, & Red Dog, Patroclus, Red Dragon #10, Sifo-Dias, Sonny, & Super Soldier.

This Inter-League battle begins deep within the thick forest. The crew of Torchwood sticks closely to Captain Jack Harkness, but in the blink of an eye, their blood is splattered all across the massive trunks of the towering trees around them. “What the hell was that?” asks Steve McQueen. “Ninjas,” Bill calmly replies. “Deadly Vipers, with me,” Bill says as Bud, O-Ren Ishii, Vernita Green and Elle Driver all follow him off into the forest in search of the Ninjas. “Ok guys. I’ve got a great idea. Let’s actually win this battle!” says USAgent. No one on Built Ford Tough speaks a word of disagreement, as they are all hungry for a victory. Gonzo and Kamilla the Chicken come riding in wildly on their Go-kart right towards Built Ford Tough. They slam it into a fallen tree, which sends both of them flying through the air right at Diego and Baby Jaguar. Camilla proceeds to peck the eyes out of Baby Jaguar as the death-defying Gonzo the Great viciously attacks Diego. Mandalorian #7 runs in and blasts Gonzo and Camilla in retaliation for his teammates’ demise. Sirius Black and Severus Snape double team Mad Eye Moody who is trying to evade their magically attacks on his 4-Wheeler. Snape then hits Mad Eye with a Sectumsempra spell, which slashes him across the chest and knocks him off of the 4-Wheeler. Sirius then kills Mad Eye with a death curse. Mr. and Mrs. Smith both open fire at Power Man and Iron Fist, but Power Man protects his life partner with his bulletproof body. “HEY! RYATU!! WE AIN’T GAY!!!” Luke Cage yells at me as I witness this battle. But honestly, I don’t buy it. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I just don’t get why they keep denying it. I’m mean look at their outfits. For Christ’s sake, Power Man is wearing a silver tiara. Ok anyways, sorry back to the story. Mr. and Mrs. Smith’s bullets harmlessly bounce off Power Man’s impenetrable hide (insert joke here) and Iron Fist races in and easily dispatches the married assassins with a combination of his “Iron Fist” and his martial art abilities. The battalion of Sgt. Slaughter, his Renegades, the Gears of War crew, and the Contra guys all rush in and attack Built Ford Tough. The Gears of War crew mow down the Beatles with effortless ease. Bill Rizer and Lance Bean gun down Cowboy Curtis and Steve McQueen in quick fashion. Sgt. Slaughter and the Renegades do not have the same luck however. Ancient Sith Lord’s #8 and #13 leap in the middle of them and take out Red Dog, Mercer, and Taurus with their lightsabers. Sgt. Slaughter is tackled to the ground by Barry Sanders, which allows USAgent to jump in and bring his shield crashing down on Slaughter’s skull. The team of Agen Kolar, Sifo-Dias, and Cade Skywalker leap into action and engage the Ancient Sith Lords. The Jedi are able to overwhelm the Sith Lords with their teamwork and they strike them down. Han Solo then blasts Agen Kolar several times in the chest, killing the Jedi Master. “See, there’s nothing like a good blaster at your side,” Han says to Chewbacca. The Deadly Vipers Assassination Squad are still on the hunt for the Slaves’ Ninja force. But they quickly find themselves as the hunted instead of the hunter as they are surrounded by six Ninjas. The Ninjas converge on the Vipers simultaneously, but the Vipers are ready and in a flurry of swords and blood, every last Ninja falls before the feet of Bill and his squad. Patroclus has been taken under the tutelage of Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, and along with Connor MacLeod, they all join the battle. Juan and Connor together, attack Mandalorian #7 and with the power of the Quickening they slay the Mandalorian. Patroclus is about to attack Barry Sanders but Aslan leaps onto Patroclus and bites his head off, thus saving the life of his fellow Lion. (Get it?) Red Dragon #10 they swoops in and sets the thick forest a blaze with his fire breath. Bronze Dragon #20 follows closely behind and blasts Grapple with his lightning breath, killing the Autobot. Star Sapphire then flies hard and fast, right into the mouth of Red Dragon #10, and blasting her way out of the other side. Connor and Juan then find themselves surrounded by the Deadly Vipers Assassination Squad. Bill orders them to rush the two Immortals, and though they take out Vernita and Bud, both Immortals’ heads are removed and they are killed. Ben Skywalker drives in and leaps out of his Land Speeder, right where his two teammates have just fallen. He ignites his lightsaber in midair and slices Elle Driver’s head clean off. Cade Skywalker sees his relative outnumbered and rushes in to help. The Two Skywalkers then use the Force to quickly dispatch O-Ren and Bill. Sifo-Dias is then shot in the head by Solid Snake who is perched high up in the trees. Sonny climbs the tree as fast as he can and kicks Solid Snake down to the ground. But Solid Snake is able to recover and stealthily slips away. Strong Guy is then smashed hard into the ground by Super Soldier. Super Soldier uses his super speed to punch Strong Guy as fast as he can, preventing Guido from mounting any sort of offense and also preventing him from expelling the massively building kinetic energy inside him. The power is too much for Strong Guy’s body to withstand, and he has an enormous heart attack, killing the mutant. Han Solo gathers Harrison Ford, Jack Ryan, E Honda, Chewbacca and Aslan the Lion to attack the video game soldiers. Han Solo shoots Augustus Cole with his blaster as Chewbacca rips the arms off of Damon Baird. Bill Rizer and Lance Bean double team Harrison Ford and kill the sauced actor. Marcus Fenix charges E Honda, who instinctively starts doing his Hundred Hand Slap, but he has his hand cut off by Marcus’s chainsaw bayonet. Marcus then kicks the sumo wrestler down and steps on his chest as he blasts him with his Lancer Assault Rifle. The Contra guys try to ambush Aslan the Lion, but Chewbacca sacrifices himself for the Jesus Christ allegory. He leaps in front of Aslan and takes the gunfire from Bill and Lance. Han Solo and Jack Ryan then sneak up behind them and put two well-placed shots in the back of their heads. The Flaming Carrot, Solid Snake, and Mr. T join Han, Jack and Aslan as they back Marcus and Dominic up against a burning tree. “F*$&#! Well why not,” Marcus says to Dominic as he throws an Ink Grenade at the oncoming assault. It goes off and poisons all eight of them. “Crap we really needed Aslan for this battle,” USAgent says to Beta Ray Bill. Super Soldier then attacks Beta Ray Bill before he has the opportunity to respond. The two super-powered combatants fly high up above the burning trees as USAgent, Power Man, Iron Fist, Barry Sanders, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and Star Sapphire try and finish this fight. Without warning though, both Sirius and Severus are blasted hard with some deadly evil magic courtesy of Loki, who thus far had stayed out of the battle. He then calls down Bronze Dragon #20 who zaps Iron Fist with a massive bolt of lightning, and kills him. USAgent then launches his shield up into the air and takes the head off of the Bronze Dragon. Ben Skywalker and Cade Skywalker then both move seamlessly through the burning forest Ben is able to strike down USAgent who is defenseless against the lightsaber without his shield, which is still flying through the air. Star Sapphire is able to easily destroy Sonny, with her Star Sapphire gem. Cade Skywalker then starts leaping from burning branch to burning branch, trying to get to the flying Star Sapphire. Ben Skywalker now faces Barry Sanders and Power Man both. Power Man punches Ben as hard as he can, but Ben is able to use the Force to absorb some of the impact. Barry then shocks everyone but abruptly retiring to the locker room, leaving Power Man by himself to face Ben Skywalker. Luke Cage rushes towards the Jedi, but Ben leaps back to his feet and drives his lightsaber deep into his chest. Star Sapphire continues to evade Cade, by simply flying faster than he can leap through the trees. Beta Ray Bill continues to battle Super Soldier high above the burning treetops. Beta Ray is gaining a slight advantage, but then Loki appears out of nowhere and lends Super Soldier in some much needed help. Beta Ray Bill is now forced to be on the defensive. Star Sapphire flies up and grabs a hold of Bill’s cape and pulls him back to fight another day.

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!

Week Six Standings

*Sorry for the delay*

Le'Napoleon Brigade vs. The Right Wing

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 7 Match: Le' Napoleon Brigade vs. The Right Wing.

I look in the locker room of Le' Napoleon Brigade and see Obi Wan Kenobi, Poison Ivy, Guy Gardner (w/ Yellow Ring), Robin Hood & Little John, Catwoman, Master Jedi Leia Organa, John McLane, Wonder Woman, Man at Arms and Teela, Aragorn son of Arathorn and Arwen Evenstar, Horses #26-31, Silver Dragons #3-5, Even Piell, Padme Amidala and Lara Croft in a Land Speeder, Abraham Van Helsing, Power Girl, Jedi Masters #31-33, Daniel Rousseau, Ron Meyer and Fozzy Bear

Organa: We will have to come together to defeat the Right Wing.

Obi Wan Kenobi: We will Organa. Do not let your mind worry.

Ron Meyer (blurts out for no particular reason): I had a hand in the D@$*’s death!

Lara Croft: Let’s hope that you have a hand in many more today.

I then look into the locker room of The Right Wing. The Wing is Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, John Stewart, Blackfire, Duncan Idaho Ghola #6, Jedi Knights #16-20, Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, Scrappy-Doo, Goliath, Droid Fighter Ship #1, Quinlon Vos, Warpath, Red Sonja, Darth Malak, Shintor Beerus, Capt. Mifune and Black Panther.

Hulk: Hulk crush! Hulk kill! Hulk destroy!

Storm: Hulk, you shouldn’t steal someone else’s “trademark” lines. It’s just not right.

Darth Malak: I really don’t care whose lines he steals and long as he steals the lives of the Brigade!

I transport the teams to the forests of Endor.

Daniel Rousseau is hidden on the middle branches of a tree. She sees Scrappy Doo and fires her gun. She misses. The bullet grazes Scrappy. He is injured ... and furious.

Scrappy: Come on down and fight me like a real warrior! Let me at you! Let me at you!

Rousseau comes down from the trees and meets the great dane pup on the forests’ grounds.

Scrappy (shouts): Puppy Power!!!!

Scrappy begins to race at Rousseau. Although Rousseau knows that she could easily kill Scrappy, she whistles instead. A loud galloping is heard as Horses #26-31 storm through the battlefield. Scrappy does not have enough time to react and he is trampled to death. The horses run together through the forest. They are easy laser-fodder for Droid Fighter Ship #1. Since the Horses are unable to separate because of their packing between the trees, Droid Fighter Ship #1 easily kills all Horses #26-31. The three Silver Dragons #3-5 see the Droid Fighter race through the sky. The dragons confront the ship. Droid Fighter Ship #1 shoots down Silver Dragon #5. Silver Dragons #3-4 spray their cones of cold and freeze the ship. The ship falls to the ground and explodes. As the Dragons fly on, Black Panther jumps from the treetops above. Black Panther repeatedly stabs Silver Dragon #4. Wounded, it falls to the ground and is killed by Elite Stormtroopers #1-6, who are waiting for the mythical beast. Silver Dragon #3 attempts to escape the fate of its kindred and is met by Silver Surfer. Silver Surfer uses his cosmic power to kill Silver Dragon #3.

Robin Hood and Little John spot Captain Mifune in his armored personnel unit. Little John raises his huge stick in defense. Mifune smiles and uses his advanced weaponry to blow Little John away. Robin Hood instantaneously reacts to his companion’s death and with his pinpoint accuracy, fires an arrow at Mifune. The arrow travels through the unit’s opening and strikes Mifune in the left eye. The tip travels to his brain and kills Mifune. Lara Croft sees this, hops off the Landspeeder and enters into Mifune’s armored personnel unit.

Red Sonja sees Robin Hood and approaches him from behind. As Hood quickly turns, she manages to destroy his bow and notched arrow. Without a bow and arrow, Hood takes his sword out. A battle ensues between the female barbarian and thief. Although Hood is adept and extremely acrobatic, Sonja’s pure brute strength overpowers Hood. Hood is killed. In response, Lara Croft uses the armored personnel unit and shreds Sonja in half with her rapid-fire bullets.

Warpath sees Fozzy Bear. Although he respects the animal kingdom (as did his ancestors before him), he knows what he must do.

Warpath: Good Bear. I will make your death a swift one, out of reverence for your kind.

Fozzy (nervously): Heheheheheheheeh. Look over there!

Warpath falls for Fozzy’s scam. Nonetheless, before Fozzy can run too far away, Warpath uses his superhuman speed and agility to pounce upon Fozzy. With his knife, he carve Fozzy up. Stuffing flows from Fozzy’s body.

The Star Wars universe inhabitants face off against one another. Obi Wan Kenobi, Master Jedi Leia Organa, Even Piell and Jedi Masters #31-33 confront Jedi Knights #16-20, Darth Malak and Shintor Beerus. Jedi Masters #31-33 face off against their inferiors, Jedi Knights #16-20. Due to the experience of the Masters, Jedi Knights #16-20 all fall, while only Jedi Master #33 dies. Jedi Masters #31 and 32 join Master Leia Organa to fight Darth Malak. The lightsabers swirl and twirl, their blurs lighting the forest floor and their blades’ crashes sounding through the treetops. Malak kills Jedi Masters #31 and 32, but falls to Organa. Organa then joins Obi Wan Kenobi and Even Piell in their battle against Shintor Beerus.

Beerus: I was Yoda’s first.

Kenobi: And now you will be my first – kill that is.

Beerus is good, but not that good as the combined skills of Kenobi, Piell and Organa destroy him. Beerus winds up in pieces on the mossy floor.

Quinlon Vos leads Elite Stormtroopers #1-6 against Lara Croft in her newly acquired armored personnel unit and Amidala in the landspeeder. Amidala deliberately crashes the landspeeder into the Elite Stormtroopers and manages to kill Elites #2-3. The other Elites fire upon and kill her. Amidala’s dead foot presses on the accelerator and the speeder crashes (and explodes) into the trees. Croft kills Elites #1 and 4, but #5-6 manage to repeatedly fire upon Croft. The laser blasts give her too much to think about. Quinlon Vos comes from behind and decapitates her. Aragorn and Arwen rush upon the scene and stab the remaining Elites through their armor’s soft spots. Storm uses her powers to create a wind storm-tornado that lifts both Arwen and Aragorn in the air. The Tolkien heroes try to fight out of their captive winds, but are unable to do so. They rise to the treetops and see the Incredible Hulk, who is standing there smiling.

Hulk: You two are perfect for one another. You belong together.

That said, Hulk uses his immense hands to crush their skulls together. Their bodies fall, pieces of their heads still tangled together as they hit the ground.

Blackfire runs through the trees and uses her energy projection to cut all objects around her. She is luck enough to catch Danielle Rousseau unawares. Thus, Blackfire has avenged Scrappy’s death.

John McLane, Abraham Van Helsing and Ron Meyer face off against and Duncan Idaho Ghola # 6.

Meyer: Feel my wrath!

Meyer runs at Duncan Idaho Ghola #6. Ghola stops him and has Meyer’s hand in his fist.

Meyer: Please! Please! Spare me! It wasn’t me! It was Sailor Moon! Al Dawg and Sailor Moon for gosh sakes!

Ghola shows him no mercy and kills him. John McLane repeatedly shoots Ghola #6 and Van Helsing’s ancient, but deadly weaponry, finishes Ghola #6 off.

Black Panther is adept at racing through the forests, being used to the foliage in his jungle home. Panther is unexpectantly stopped as hundreds of Endor’s vines entangle him. Poisin Ivy smiles as the vines wrap around the Panther.

Ivy: Yummy. Who says white meat is better than dark?

She steps toward Panther and kisses him on the lips. Her lips are covered in toxin. Black Panther is paralyzed. Catwoman comes over.

Catwoman: Let’s see which cat survives. . .

She uses her claws to shred Black Panther apart. Poison Ivy and Catwoman smile at finishing Black Panther somewhat easily. Goliath steps in and, as a giant, crushes the both of them under his feet. As Goliath walks on, he is tripped by Wonder Woman’s golden lasso. Goliath crashes to the ground. He is then pounced upon by Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Man-at-Arms and Teela. Wonder Woman uses her lasso to hold Goliath down as Power Girl, Man-at-Arms and Teela finish the job. Goliath is killed.

In the sky, Guy Gardner and John Stewart battle one another. It is evenly matched and almost at a firm standstill until Silver Surfer comes in on his board. He uses a cosmic power blast to kill Gardner.

Warpath and Vos chase down Van Helsing, McLane, Man-at-Arms and Teela. Warpath is too quick and easily gets by the defenses of Van Helsing and McLane. He stabs and kills both men. Vos’s jedi skills are too much and he kills both Man-at-Arms and Teela.

The remaining powerhouses of Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, and John Stewart fly through the forest sky. Through the weather forces of Storm, cosmic power of Silver Surfer, brute strength of Hulk and ring powers of Stewart, both Even Piell and Organa fall.

Kenobi turns to his remaining teammates.

Kenobi: It is a wise combatant who determines to retreat to battle another day.

Wonder Woman: My Amazonian heritage says fight to the end!

Kenobi: That may be, but your death will not help the team now. It will only hurt them.

Wonder Woman and Power Girl (in unison): Agreed.

Brigade: Kenobi, Wonder Woman, and Power Girl alive, but retreat

The Right Wing: Silver Surfer, The Incredible Hulk, Storm, John Stewart, Blackfire, Quinlon Vos, and Warpath alive.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!!!!!

Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs. Alice's Wonder Team

I have been appointed by my brethren Joshatu and Ryatu to watch the following Year 2, Week 7 Match: Xavier's Annihilation Squad vs. Alice's Wonder Team

As I look into the locker room of Xavier's Annihilation Squad, I see: Ursa, Mary Embry, The Eradicator, Colonel John Matrix, Barricade, Bonecrusher, The Terrorcons, Metroplex, Darth Bane, Darth Voltress, Darth Ocron, Geo-Force, Avalanche, Black Tom Cassidy, The Scorpion King, T-X and Apocalypse.

Darth Bane: Alice’s Wonder Team is formidable! Do not let them lull you into arrogance!

Ursa: Arrogance is not our style! Killing is!

Apocalypse: Then let us do so!

In the locker room of Alice's Wonder Team are Vampires #1-34 and Treasure Troll #3.

Treasure Troll #3: Sons of Alice’s Wonder Team, I am Treasure Troll #3.

Vampire # 5: Treasure Troll #3 is a lot taller than I expected!

Troll: Yes, I've heard. Kills combatants by the hundreds, and if he were here he'd consume Xavier’s Annihilation Squad with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I AM Treasure Troll #3. And I see a whole army of my brethren here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What would you do without freedom? Will you fight?

Vampire #27: Fight? Against that? No, we will run; and we will live.

Troll: Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live -- at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!!!

Troll and Vampires: Alice’s Wonder Team forever!

I transport the teams to the forests of Endor. Xavier’s Annihilation Squad stands in disbelief at the team Alice’s owner has placed on the battlefield.

Darth Voltress: Is this a joke?!?!

Troll #3: Joke this b@$ch!!!!

Treasure Troll #3 leads his swarm of vampires into battle. The vampires scatter to the foliage and trees of Endor.

Darth Bane, Darth Voltress, and Darth Ocron use the force to hunt down the Vampires. They are able to locate Vampires #1-2, 5-7 and 13-15. Though the use of their lightsabers, the Sith either decapitate or pierce the undead hearts of the eight Vampires who all burst into clouds of dust.
Vampires #3-4 strike at T-X. Since the T-X is not human, the Vampires’ attack proves fruitless as the T-X destroys both Vampires #3-4 instantaneously.

Barricade and Bonecrusher meet Vampires #8-12 on the forest floor. The Vampires are unable to use any of their supernatural abilities on the Transformers and are soon destroyed.
Soaring in the skies above the battlefield are Ursa and Mary Embry.

Ursa: Let us split up. We can cover more area.

Embry: Sounds like a plan.

The two women split up and fly through the forest. Ursa is jumped on by Vampires #18-20. Ursa dispatches with all three Vampires. Embry is not so lucky as Vampires #26-34 crash down from the treetops, causing her to fall to the forest floor. A winded Embry is swarmed by Vampires #26-34. Although Embry is able to destroy Vampires #26, 29 and 32, the remaining Vampires manage to overpower her. Instead of killing her though, they “turn” her into one of their own.

Colonel John Matrix wades through the shrubbery like an expert, but is met by Vampires #8-12. They overpower Matrix and instead of killing him, “turn him.” The Scorpion King is surrounded and “turned” by Vampires #23-25. Black Tom Cassidy and Avalanche soon meet their own fates of being “turned” by Vampires #16-17, 33-34

Alice’s Wonder Team has a new outlook on its match with its new team members: Mary Embry, Colonel John Matrix, Scorpion King, Black Tom Cassidy and Avalanche, along with original Vampires #16-17, 21-25, 27-28, 30-31 and 33-34.

Troll #3: Exactly as I planned. . .

Colonel John Matrix, Scorpion King and Vampires #16-17 attack Metroplex. Although they damage Metroplex, the Terrorcons come upon the scene before any substantial damage is sustained by the Transformer. Hun-Grr, as a two headed dragon, destroys the Scorpion King, by ripping him apart. Colonel John Matrix and Vampires #16-17 destroy Blot. In response, Cutthroat, Rippersnapper and Sinnertwin are joined by Metroplex (still able to fight) and Hun-Grr. They kill Matrix and Vampires #16-17.

Black Tom Cassidy, with a forest full of objects to use, locates a large stump. With his undead and mutant abilities now combined, he locates Geo-Force flying through the woods. Cassidy uses the stump (through a concussive burst) to bat Geo-Force through the air. Geo-Force strikes a tree and crashes to the ground, unconscious. Vampires #27-28 and 30-31 jump the hero. Before the Vampires are able to “turn” him, the Vampires are destroyed by The Eradicator and Apocalypse. The Eradicator and Apocalypse then focus their attention on Cassidy. Although Cassidy puts up a fight, the two destroy him.

Avalanche focuses on the Sith Lords. Avalanche shoots vibrating waves from his hands to cause the ground beneath the Sith to swallow them up. Darth Bane and Darth Voltress escape. Darth Ocron is not so lucky and the engulfs the Sith and then comes together to crush the Lord. Enough of the focus is placed upon Ocron for Bane and Voltress to destroy Avalanche.

Mary Embry, super-powered, super-vampired and super-hot flies through the woods, searching for her prey. She spots Ursa and flies into her at tremendous speed. Ursa takes the brunt of the hit. Ursa, dazed, sees how to finish Embry. Ursa flies at Embry with all of her Kryptonian might and holds onto her as they speed to the ground. At the last second, Ursa releases Embry into a sharpened branch jutting from a partially destroyed tree. Embry hits the branch and bursts into a cloud of dust.

Troll #3 sees that his super-vampires are no more. He has a new plan – retreat. The remaining members of Xavier’s Annihilation Squad approach Troll #3 and his remaining Vampires #21-25, 33-34.

Treasure Troll #3: Damn you Annihilation Squad! Damn you all. . . TO HELL!!!!!

With those final words, Treasure Troll #3 and Vampires #21-25 and 33-34 retreat.

XAVIER’S ANNIHILATION SQUAD IS VICTORIOUS!!!!

The Untouchables Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigans: Beeyatches

The Untouchables are Onslaught, Deadpool in an AT-ST, Pyro, The Incredibles: Mr. Incredible, Elasti-girl, Violet, Dash, & Jack-Jack, Legolas, Green Arrow, Boromir, The Atom, Sinestro (w/ Green Ring), Tomar Tu, The Pretender Monsters: Ice Pick, Birdbrain, Bristleback, Scowl, Slog, & Wildfly, Ents #1-6, & Elven Soldiers #1-6

Beckerman’s Backyardigans: Beeyatches are Tyrone, Darth Vader, Red Hulk, Dark Phoenix, Doomsday, Magog, Carnage, Holocaust, Wolverine, Darth Talon, Nazgul #6 w/ Fell Beast, Hush, King Hiss, Dracula, Black Dragon #1, Green Dragon #1, Arkillo, & Fangry & Brisko.


Deadpool is driving the AT-ST thru the thick woods of Endor’s forest moon when he turns to the empty seat next to him and says: “Fire at will, private. We can’t let the rebels escape. Hmmm, this is no fun. Doesn’t Coach Gordon know that it takes 2 people to drive an AT-ST, hasn’t he even seen Return of the Jedi”? Deadpool then sees the 6 Elven Soldiers taking cover in the trees which prompts him to stick his head out the top and yell to Elven Soldier #2: “Hey, you! Climb up that tree and pop on in here. I need a gunner”. “Yes Sir” Elven Soldier #2 replies. Once inside the AT-ST Elven Soldier #2 looks at Deadpool and says “What are your orders Sir”? Deadpool replies with “What’s up with all this sir stuff? I though everybody just thought I was a total idiot”? “You were first round draft pick in Season 1 Sir, I thought that meant that you outrank most of the team”? Says the Elf. Deadpool answers with “Oh….. Yeah, alright. I like the sound of that. Yeah, let’s go with that”. “Now, you know how to operate one of these things right”. The Elf replies with “No sir, in my world we have no such equipment”. “Oh, O.K., but you’ve seen Return of the Jedi right”? Deadpool asks. Elven Soldier #2 answers with “You’re talking about those guys with the robes and the bright green swords right. Yeah I’ve seen them, but why do they have to return, they are all over the league”? Deadpool says: “No I mean the movie; Oh forget it, I’m obviously the only guy on the entire friggin team who has seen it”. Back at the Backyardigan side of the forest Tyrone is speaking to his troops: “Alright listen up ladies supposedly they have some huge guy on this team with red armor that is like unstoppable or something. So Rulk, if you can pull your head out of you’re a** for like half a match, I am going to need you and Doomsday to take him out. If you don’t, just plan on being traded to The Syracuse Valley for a couple of Little Goombas, as for the rest of you; the plan involves 3 simple words KILL, KILL, KILL; now don’t let me down, we need this match so we can win the division because after the way we all crapped the bed this season, the chances of 2 teams making it out of our division are slim and none”. Sure enough, shortly after Tyrone’s speech Onslaught comes crashing thru the nearby trees, ready to destroy anything in his path. Rulk and Doomsday jump in to double team Onslaught and a battle ensues that starts making the Forest Moon of Endor look like downtown Little Rock in those old HBO gang specials. Darth Vader and Tyrone team up and decide that they will take on the entire Incredibles family, while Vader tells his apprentice Darth Talon that there is a tiny, yet powerful menace lurking about these woods and that he would like her to handle it personally. Deadpool sticks his head out of the top of The AT-ST and in an extremely exaggerated voice yells to Ice Pick and the rest of The Pretender Monsters: “Pretender Monsters: Merge to form Monstructor”. He then climbs back into the AT-ST and says to Elven Soldier #2 “When Megatron isn’t here, that is my job”. The elf replies with “Oh, that’s cool”. “Yeah, it is” responds Deadpool. The Pretender Monsters listen to Deadpool and almost instantly crush both Fangry and Brisko under the foot of Monstructor. Arkillo drops down from the sky to do battle with the 6 Ents but once this battle begins, he realizes that he may have bitten off more than he can chew. Arkillo instantly uses his yellow power ring to kill Ent #3 and then takes flight to regain his vantage point over the other Ents. With a giant yellow claw, he rips apart Ent #1 and then manages to set Ent #6 ablaze with a fury of yellow fire, but after that the physically powerful yellow lantern succumbs to the sheer size and might of the last 3 Ents. Ent #2 manages to grab a hold of Arkillo and bring him down to the ground while the other 2 pound him into oblivion. At the sight of the menacing Ents, several of the Backyardigan clan wish that they had some Dragons that shot fire so they could be of use against giant walking trees, but since they didn’t, Tyrone and Vader send their 2 dragons off against the 5 Elven Soldiers, who are blending in with the surrounding forest. The 5 Elves shoot a flurry of arrows at the 2 dragons, but in the end they just don’t have the right kind of fire power to take out the dragons as Black Dragon #1 kills Elven Soldiers #1 & 5 with its acid breath and uses his acid coated fangs to bite thru poor Elf #3. Green Dragon #1 uses its poison breath to kill Elven Soldier #4 & 6. Darth Talon stealthily moves thru the forest searching for the mysterious foe that her master of the Dark Side has told her about while she passes right by a brewing battle between Boromir and Dracula. Boromir pulls out his sword like he has done in defense of Gondor so many times and moves toward Dracula. Boromir swings his heavy broad sword with ease against his seemingly defenseless foe, but Dracula is able to quickly evade all of the attacks. Boromir goes for a head shot, but Dracula ducks underneath the sword and pops up underneath his arm pit. Dracula then uses his fingernails to rip open Boromir’s neck and kill the favorite son of Gondor. The Atom flies in fast in his near microscopic form toward the ear of Darth Talon, in an attempt to go straight into her brain and finish off the Red Twileck Sith before she even realizes that he is there. The Atom is about to accomplish his goal when Darth Talon feels the disturbance in the force created by the small yet powerful foe that she was warned about. Lord Talon then swerves her head to the side slightly and spins her crimson lightsaber in a circular motion which splits The Atom before he has his chance to attack. Deadpool turns to Elven Soldier #2 and says: “Alright Elf, since you have even less of an idea on how to drive this thing than I do, I am going to give you some simple instructions. Watch out for attacking Furry Teddy Bears and random falling logs”. “Deadpool Sir, What are you talking about” asks Elven Soldier #2. Deadpool responds with “Trust me, I’ve seen Return of the Jedi”. Deadpool is about to continue bragging about his extensive movie viewing when Elven Soldier #2 points downward and says: “Deadpool Sir, is that one of those Furry Teddy Bears you were talking about”? Deadpool replies with “WHA!!!!! Oh that guy, you had me scared for a second there, I thought we were up against ewoks. That guy down there, that’s just Wolverine, I’ve kicked that guy’s a** so many times that it’s pathetic. Wolverine runs up toward the AT-ST jumping in and out of the wooded path to avoid blaster bolts with Carnage and Hush following close behind him. Deadpool shoots the walker’s laser cannon wildly into the forest igniting anything and everything in sight into flames. Hush tries to jump out and shoot at the face of the small Imperial Walker with his dual pistols but Deadpool takes that opportunity to target Hush and blow him away. Legolas and his hetero life mate Green Arrow take to the trees to do battle with Nazgul #6 atop his Fell Beast, while Dark Phoenix and Sinestro both take flight high above the tree tops to begin a fast-paced battle of their own. Holocaust does battle with Tomar Tu while Magog and King Hiss easily overpower Pyro resulting in the death of the mutant. Onslaught battles fiercely with both Rulk and Doomsday, even holding his own rather well against the 2 immensely powerful beings. Onslaught finds that although he is able to take some control of the minds of the 2 behemoths that they are both so filled with rage that all it does is escalate the fierceness of the battle. Rulk pounds his fists on Onslaught with such ferocity that he breaks thru the psionic armor holding the combine-powered mutant together to reveal a being made more of energy than of anything solid. With his armor gone Rulk is actually blasted backward from the sheer release of power, but Doomsday fights thru the psionic energy going directly into the barely solid body of Onslaught and ripping him apart. Vader and Tyrone face off against The Incredibles who seem to not be able to break thru the defenses of The Sith Lord. Jack-Jack ignites into his fiery form, which prompts Vader to say: “I see your family is powerful, imagine the power you could all possess if you let your anger take over” “That’s what makes us heroes and not villains” Elasti-girl replies defiantly. Vader then smiles (not that we could see it thru his mask, I am just assuming) and says: “Perhaps I could help you change your mind”. Vader then uses the force to rip apart Jack-Jack leaving a pile of flaming embers on the ground where the baby once stood. “NOOOOOOOO” The Incredibles all yell at this horrific sight. Mr. Incredible moves first at Vader by pulling a tree out from the ground and swinging it at the Dark Lord of the Sith. Elasti-Girl stretches in quickly to the left, but not as quickly as Dash moves to Vader’s right. Violet slightly hangs back and puts a bubble over the head of Tyrone to suffocate the Backyardigan leader. This battle continues while high above them Sinestro does his best to stay competitive with Dark Phoenix. Sinestro blasts as much green energy as his immense will will allow, but he is simply outmatched by the sheer power of the Phoenix force. Dark Phoenix unleashes but a fraction of the power possessed within her toward Sinestro and completely disintegrates the green lantern leaving only dust in the chilly Endor wind. Dark Phoenix, now on a rampage swoops down igniting large portions of the forest into cosmic fire which burns the 4 remaining Ents to ash. Lord Vader sees his teammate unleash her power and feels that if she keeps this up than this battle will be over very shortly but than Dark Phoenix, in a fit of apathy simply does the damage that she deems appropriate and flies up out of the moon’s atmosphere away from the battle entirely. Tomar Tu is holding off Holocaust nicely when King Hiss enters the battle to help out Holocaust. The Black Dragon and Green Dragon swoop in to do battle with Monstructor, while Wolverine and Carnage thru some impressive feats of acrobatics make their way on top of the AT-ST. Deadpool looks at Elven Soldier #2 and says “Hey Elf, when you were watching Return of the Jedi did you ever wonder how they get out of these things”. Elven Soldier #2 begins to say: “for the last time I have never seen Return of the Jedi” when Deadpool knowing that both Carnage and Wolverine are now on top of the walker purposely walks the AT-ST into the side of a tree and dumps it onto the ground. Carnage and Wolverine both go flying off of the top of the walker and onto the ground while Deadpool climbs out of the AT-ST. Deadpool pulls Elven Soldier #2 out of the wreckage while saying “On your feet soldier…… Oh let me guess you never saw Aliens either”. The dizzied Elf gets to his feet and pulls out his bow and arrow just in time to get mauled by Carnage, but Carnage is a little banged up from the fall as well, which Deadpool takes full advantage of as he cuts off his head, symbiote and all with his razor sharp Ninja Sword. Deadpool and Wolverine’s healing factors have both allowed them to recover nicely as they square off in the heart of the Endor Forest like they have done many times before (just in other places of course). Deadpool looks at Wolverine with his 2 Ninja swords drawn and says: “Hey Logan, guess what? I told that Elf that I was chillin with that I have wasted you in fights like a bunch of times: And Hey TOTALLY Believed me. HAH… You should have been there. Now who’s the best at what you do”? Wolverine does not find this quite as amusing as Deadpool does as he jumps toward the Merc with a Mouth resulting in a fight that in a comic book would consist of at least 6 to 8 panels of no dialogue, so we’ll do that here as well…….







Wolverine chops off Deadpool’s head with his claws and says: “Wow, your jokes were so good, that you laughed your head off”. Darth Vader seems to be toying with the Incredibles as he flicks his wrist ever so slightly to slice Dash in half, sending The remaining Incredibles into even more of a tizzy. Violet attempts to use her powers on Vader in a way similar to how she killed Tyrone, but Vader force pushes her into a nearby tree with so much power that it snaps her neck. A furious tree-wielding Mr. Incredible gets sick of Vader’s dodging of his truly biological weapon so he throws the tree at the Sith Lord. Lord Vader then stops the tree in mid-air with the force and slices it in half with his lightsaber. Mr. Incredible shows just a slight sign of fatigue which Vader takes full advantage of by rushing in and running the super thru with his lightsaber. Elasti-girl is in a rage after seeing her entire family killed before her eyes and attacks Vader with everything she has got. Vader fights back with his lightsaber, but even with his incredible swordsmanship skills he is unable to make contact with the ever changing body make-up of Elasti-girl. Elasti-girl easily dodges every swing of Vader’s lightsaber and is even able to work around his force pushes via her body manipulation. Elast-girl, in her rage feels that she is near invulnerable to Vader’s powers as she goes in for the kill. Elasti-girl is only inches away from her goal as Vader blasts the last remaining Incredible with Sith Lightning, holding her molecules in place and frying her internally on the ground next to her fallen family. Monstructor is able to kill both Black Dragon #1 and Green Dragon #1 thru sheer blunt force, but several members of The Backyardigans come to aid their dragon friends just as the fight is ending. Even warriors as powerful as Doomsday and Rulk are susceptible to fatigue when fighting a being as powerful as Onslaught, so the 2 of them forego any fancy fighting moves as they both barge into the chest of Monstructor breaking the gestalt apart and killing Ice Pick in the process. Rulk and Doomsday are basically spent at this point as the 2 combatants lay on the ground in a state of exhaustion. The damaged Pretender Monsters get up to continue the battle but Magog uses his energy projecting trident to kill Birdbrain, while the newly energized Wolverine alongside Darth Talon take out both Bristleback and Wildfly. Tomar Tu has done an amazing job of keeping his powerful opponents at bay as he looks around the battlefield for any help from his team against the duo of Holocaust and King Hiss, but finds that he does not have much of a team remaining. Slog succumbs to the might of all 4 Backyardigans, but in a nearby battle Legolas and Green Arrow pump enough arrows into Nazgul #6’s Fell Beast to send it crashing to the ground. Nazgul #6 regroups with the rest of his team while Legolas and Green Arrow stand at the ready to take on whatever comes their way. The 2 emerald bow-casters stand back to back as they are surrounded by Darth Vader, Rulk, Doomsday, Magog, Holocaust, Wolverine, Nazgul #6, King Hiss, & Dracula; when they are hit by a form of energy that they were not expecting. Tomar Tu wrapped the 2 brothers from other trans-dimensional raced mothers in a matching green bubble to pull them out of the battle, and into the air where he and Scowl were already retreating from the impossible odds.
BECKERMAN’S BACKYARDIGANS: BEEYATCHES ARE VICTORIOUS!