Week 6: Be Gentle v Striders of Rohan

Be Gentle It’s My First Time: Poe Dameron and BB-8 in Stealth X-Wing, 4 Jedi Knights (all at 4 Deaths) in 4 A-Wings, 2 Guild Navigators in 2 Guild Ships, 2 Jedi Knights in 2 B-Wings, Dr. Fate (4 Deaths), The Terrorcons (Gurrr, Ripper Snapper, Blot, Sinnertwin, Cutthroat, Cindersaur), Zombie Super Boy, King Xeno, Black Lantern Super Boy, Plo-Koon with a Green Lantern Ring in Porkins X-Wing, Beerus God of Destruction, Hera and Zeus, 4 Transformers (All at 4 Deaths), Halo Ring 

Striders of Rohan: The Guardians of the Galaxy (Starlord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Nebula, Mantis) (All at 4 Deaths) In Starlords Ship, Yondu and Kraglin in 2 Y-Wings, Snoke and 10 Hydra Soldiers in a Star Destroyer, Admiral William Kelly (4 Deaths) in TIE Silencer, Apocalypse, Ragnarok, The Comedian in Y-Wing, Visas Marr in Princess Leia’s Stealth X-Wing, Adam Warlock (4 Deaths), White Lantern Hal Jordan (4 Deaths), Earth 2 Batman in X-Wing, IG Bounty Hunter in X-Wing, Steve Yzerman, Goblin 10-12.

Gentle Squad Begins warming up the Halo Ring, set for the destruction of the system, to take them on the glorious journey to the afterlife. Taking defensive positions around the superstructure are the Zombie Super Boy, Black Lantern Super Boy, Guild Ships, Dr. Fate, The Terrorcons, Hera and Zeus, and the 4 Transformers. Snoke exits hyperspace just inside the range of the defenders and begins bombarding them with Turbolasers, Gurrr and Ripper Snapper are destroyed. Both Teams then launch their fighters with Gentle's goal of destroying the Star Destroyer and Strider's goal to shut down the Halo Ring.  The guild ships begin a charge at the Star Destroyer as the only crew on board are the pilots. Yondu and Kraglin and The Comedian begin a bombing run on the guild ships, with the Guardians, Visas Marr, Batman, and The IG Bounty Hunter providing an escort. But a dogfight ensues when 4 A-Wings, piloted by 4 Jedi Knights, Plo-Koon in Porkins X-Wing and the 2 B-Wings meet them in space.  Amidst the fighting Kraglin, The Comedian, the IG Droid, the 2 Jedi Knights in B-wings, and 2 of the 4 A-Wings are destroyed and One Guild Ship is disabled. Poe and BB-8 Launch from the Halo Ring but quickly come under fire from Admiral Kelly in his TIE Silencer, but following evasive maneuvers, Poe dispatches his opponent.  

Meeting with the rest of the Squad, Poe Leads the offensive against the Star Destroyer. With the guild ship getting very close to hitting the Star Destroyer, the Hydra Soldiers fire a full salvo devastating the Guild Ship and another A-Wing Unlucky enough to be in the path. But upon the loss of one guild ship, Dr.Fate and the 2 Undead Super Boys give the other Guild Ship enough Momentum to begin a second charge. This time the ship makes contact with the bridge causing a chain explosion through the star destroyer killing all inside. In the dogfight surrounding the wreckage Poe, BB-8, Plo, and the A-Wing come under heavy fire from the Guardians, Yondu, Marr, and Batman. Yondu and Batman are quickly outflown by Poe and BB-8 who begin firing upon them, both are destroyed. The Guardians and Marr succeed in destroying the last Jedi Knight and Plo-Koon before retreating.

With the Halo Ring nearing the completion of the warmup, the Striders group for one last big attack. Apocalypse, Ragnarok, The Guardians, Marr, Adam Warlock, and White Lantern Hal Jordan begin the flight to the Ring where they meet the much larger force of Dr. Fate, Poe Dameron and BB-8, the remaining Terrorcons, Zombie Super Boy, King Xeno, Black Lantern Super Boy, Beerus God of Destruction, Hera, Zeus, and the 4 Transformers. The two sides clashed down upon each other in a 50’s cartoon dust cloud, with Dr. Fate, Poe, and BB-8 being the only survivors but the Halo Ring was damaged leaving it inoperable.  

Week 5 Charles Barkley's Turrible Decisions vs The Dramatic LGBTQ Kitties From Luna

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are Q, Q2, Lady Q, q, Colonel Q, and Quinn, Balrogs #1-5, Cyborg, Treebeard, Ents #1-2, Shrek and Donkey, Jedi Padawans #1-15, Venom (Flash Thompson), Bronze Dragons #1-4, Silver Dragons #1-4, Purple Dragons #1-5, Griffens #1-5, White Dragons #1-3, Shield Agents #4-13, Stryker, Haskeer, Coila, Jup, Alfray, and Mani-orcs #1-10, Nazgul #5 on his fell beast, Dragons #1-3, Nurgle the Plaguelord, Skeletor, Nightcrawler, Borg #1-10, Neo Cymeks #1-5, Usagi Yojimbo and Jotaro, Fortress Maximus, his Head, and his Head’s Head, Boba Fett, Mace Windu, Robo-Barkley, Khal Drogo, Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Blanka.

The Dramatic Super Kitties of Luna are Vampire Abeloth, Zombie Abeloth, Supergirl, Powergirl, Cicada, Savitar, Goliath of Gath, Iron Giant, Lara Croft, Katness Everden, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades Groove, and First Aid, Aphrodite, Shockwave, Michael Myers, Splinter w/ Force Saber, Hermoine Granger, Hades, Ocean Master, Sonic and Tails, The Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs, New Sisterhood Sister #1-3, Gold Dragon #2-3, Baby Ewok #4-5, and Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #1-3. 

Due to precautions being taken for the Covid -19 Outbreak, this match did take place, but no spectators were allowed to witness it; so we do not actually know what happened .  This very well may be how other sports take place in the future. Get used to it.

We noticed that the only person to come back to the locker room alive was:  Usagi Yojimbo; which must mean that CHARLES BARKLEY’S TURRIBLE DECISIONS WERE VICTORIOUS! 

Democracy Week 6: John and Vader's House of Sith Aids vs The Traveling Sisterhood of Tarded Body Shamed Shorties.

John and Vader’s House Of Sith Aid’s are Red Son Superman, The Fallen, Thunderstrike, The Anti-Moniter, The Predacons: Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, and Tantrum, Maxima, Darth Vader w/red lantern ring in his TIE Advanced, Vehicle Voltron, Grand Moff Tarkin in a TIE Interceptor, Jedi Youngling #1 in a TIE interceptor, Jedi Youngling #2 in a TIE interceptor

The Traveling Sisterhood of Tarded Body Shamed Shorties are Squad in a Super Star Destroyer Captained by Vorian Atreides, Omega Supreme, Zombie Omega Supreme, Starscream w/ a Orange Lantern Ring, Thundercracker, Skywarp, Skyfire, Vampire Green Lantern, Star Fox in a Z-95 Headhunter, StarWolf in a Z-95 Headhunter, Slippy Toad in a Z-95 Headhunter, Soundblaster w/ Decepticon Cassette #1-3 (Helping out in Star  Destroyer), Powerglide, Cosmos, and Super Saiyan Conner Weidmen.

Make Sure To Wash Your Hands After Voting

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. The Striders of Rohan Vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins

Two Hungry Dino-Mite Assassins with Acrobatics Down Tight Vs. The Gentle Striders of First Rohan


Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Ranx: The Sentient City, Black Racer, Voldemort (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Cal Kestis, BD-1, Cere, & Greeze in The Mantis, Axe Cop w/ Wexler, Black Lantern Flash, Zam Wessell in an X-Wing, Jay Garrick (w/ a green lantern ring), Star Sapphire Wonder Woman, Earth 3 Injustice League: Ultraman, Supermwoman, Owlman w/ Talon in a 1980 Mustang, Johnny Quick, & Power Ring, Aquaman, Kit Fisto, Nadar Vebb, Big Barda, Booster Gold, Kid Flash, Mas y Menos, Nightwing on his Motorcycle, Wedge Antilles in an X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in an X-Wing, Cassian Andor and K-2S0 in their U-Wing, Bossk in Hound's Tooth, Sand Trooper #1-9 on Dewback #1-9, Giant Hammer Bros. #1-2, Boomerang Bros. #1-5, Rebel Soldier #6 on a 4-Wheeler, & some broccoli.

Be Gentle It's My First Time is Doomsday, Black Goku, The Sinister 6: Green Goblin, Sandman, Dr. Octopus, Electro, Mysterio, & Vulture, Black Atom, Dr. Fate, Granny Goodness w/ The Female Furies, Superboy, Zombie Superman, Zombie Superboy, Black Lantern Superboy, Guild Ship w/ Guild Navigator & Capt. Kahn, Guild Ship w/ Guild Navigator & Capt. Janeway, Poe Dameron & BB-8 in a Stealth X-Wing, Darth Malak, Plo Koon in an A-Wing, 3 Jedi Knights in 3 A-Wings, 4 Jedi Knights in 4 B-Wings, Goku (w/ a green lantern ring), Gohan, 1 Transformer, Alex Vento, & Chuck Norris in a Penguin Suit.

The Striders of Rohan are HYDRA Soldiers #1-10 in 5 AT-ST, Admiral William Kelley in an X-Wing, IG Bounty Hunter in an X-Wing, Kylo Ren (w/ Red lantern ring) in TIE Silencer, Yondu in a Y-Wing, Kraglin in a Y-Wing, E2 Batman in the O.G. Batmobile, E2 Catwoman, Batman (Dick Grayson) w/ Robin (Damien Wayne), Odin (w/ The White Lantern Ring), Apocalypse, White Lantern Hal Jordan, Ghost Rider, Scorpion, Circuit Breaker, Magneto, Ragnarok, Vampire Neo, The Incredibles: Mr. Incredible, Elasti-Girl, Violet, Dash, & Jack-Jack w/ Fro-Zone, Supreme Leader Snoke, Baron Mordo, Brother Blood, Black Flash, King Kong, Samwise Gamgee (w/ blue lantern ring), Gondor Soldier #1 (Doriath the Brave), & Gondor Soldier #2.

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Sarumon, The Father, Son, & Daughter (in a penguin suit), of Mortis, Martian Manhunter w/ Miss Martian, Brainiac in The Skull Ship, Poseidon, Grand Master Luke Skywalker, Reverse Flash, Franklin Richards, Jason Bourne (w/ an indigo lantern ring), Black Lantern Omega Supreme, Black Lantern Neo, (Legends) Leia Organa-Solo, C-3PO, Vampire Capt. Marvel, Vampire Superman, & Zombie #12.


These four massive teams combined into two great alliances prepare to embark on what could be the greatest battle ever watched and put forth in words by the Great and Powerful Lord of the Watchers himself: Joshatu The Magnificent. But instead, Joshatu has done come down with a wicked blast of The Rona and is going to let The Neon Master Pogo in all of his glory make what should be an incredible match-up a five page long fart joke instead (figure the world could use a good laugh right about now).

Hold up: This is Joshatu, let me at least set the stage (coff, coff)....

The Dino-Mites and Assassins at first thought that they were supposed to be fighting each other as they were the only two teams initially transported to The Playoff Planet. It was extremely confusing because every member of both teams were all put in randomly at least six feet away from each other in order to follow the draconian rules put in place by Governor Morris of the Playoff Planet (see past matches for reference to Governor Morris and his past ideological struggles). It took the two teams three weeks to find each other and realize that they were all on the same side before it was announced that there would be another three weeks of social distancing, it wasn't until that point that some of the truly woke members of the now combined team realized that they should perhaps question said authority. This also gave them time to set up shop in the appropriate areas, but also gave way to the question of where their opponents actually are. Ranx: The Sentient City sat stalwart outside the Playoff Planet while the rest of the squad(s) got in position and awaited his orders.

Another three weeks passed when all of the sudden the event that had been predicted finally began. Two enormous ships appeared instantly, seemingly from nowhere in such a manner that even Ranx flinched. The two Guild Ships had folded space from a far away destination revealing the great alliance of The Gentle Striders of First Rohan. Their entire two squads had plenty of room in the two enormous shuttles controlled by Holtzman Foldspace Engines and the inhabitants of the two ships had plenty of time to formulate their plan. The prescient visions of the Guild Navigators inside their spice tanks aboard the Guild Ships had made it very clear where the Dino-Mite Assassins were hiding; so they knew exactly where to strike. First out of the enormous port of the Guild Ships came Admiral William Kelley leading an elite force of pilots. Eight Jedi including General Plo Koon, Poe in a Stealth X-Wing was flanked by another X-Wing and a couple Y-Wings, and Kylo in his TIE Silencer broke off on his own. The Dino-Mite Assassins rallied their air forces, but did not have the continuity of attack that the Gentle Striders possessed. The Batmobile and a broken down, but experienced Transformer named Mazdabot led a quintet of AT-ST into the city to overrun the Playoff Planet Capitol.

The fight is about to begin when (coff, (even drier) coff). Okay fine, I can't do this. Go ahead Pogo....

Alright dorks, it's YOUR BOY: Pogo: Now that Joshatu bored you with the details: let's really watch this turd. I missed the first part of the match because I was busy staying safe to save lives. I was putting my mask and gloves on whilst taking a bath in hand sanitizer and washing my hands fOr aT lEaSt 2o sEcOnDs. In this time a bunch of people died right off rip. I can only assume it is because as the battle began everyone stopped social distancing so they must have all got the Rona. AT least that is what the hospitals reported their deaths as (who knows how it actually happened). Alls I know is that once I figured out how to get the mask off my eyes I realized that: BD-1, Greeze, Johnny Quick, Nadar Vebb, some Sand Troopers, some Dewbacks, a Giant Hammer Bros., a couple Boomerang Bros, Green Goblin, Mysterio, Dr. Fate, Gohan, Alex Vento, Catwoman, Ghost Rider, Elasti-Girl, Jack-Jack, Baron Mordo, Gondor Soldier #2, C-3P0, Vampire Captain Marvel, & Vampire Superman (that last one might have died because he gets his power from the sun and the sun is what kills him (Not really sure, cuz I'm keepin it real).

Granny Goodness and The Female Furies tried to mess with Big Barda who was all like: YO WHASSUP I'M A SUPER STRONG CHICK AND I TRAINED Y'ALL SO I KNOW DA TRICKS. She whooped up on the female furies and got em dead quick and just watched Granny Goodness die of old age. Then Barda went back to earth so she could retire but she watched CNN and saw a video of Joe Biden sniffing people, got triggered, and had a brain aneurysm and died.

White Lantern Hal Jordan and White Lantern Odin enslave and steal the power of their earth 3 enemy and combine with Power Ring to form one of the most powerful characters in FFL History named White Power Ring. White Power Ring easily subdues the combined forces of The Black Racer, Black Goku, Black Lantern Superboy, Black Flash, Black Atom, Black Lantern Omega Supreme, & Black Lantern Neo. They begin to enslave them to steal their....... Wait a second... Is this all of the sudden starting to sound really racist to you guys too?? Alright, I'll tell you what, I don't need no internet shadow ban here; so let's just cut it all out now, issue a blanket apology and say that every character I just mentioned is dead before this gets any worse. Oh, and Brother Blood, Electro, and Fro-Zone died somehow too.

Doomsday leaps down out of the Guild Ship into a sunny beach area of the Playoff Planet and starts to go all four death, cray-cray in The Bay. He starts punching Boomerang Bros, SandTrooper and Dewback heads off, and mows through the Injustice League even easier than he went through the real Justice League in his first appearance. Ultraman, Superwoman, Owlman, Talon, and their cool vintage Mustang got straight up wrecked (you already know Alex). Blue Lantern Silver Age Flash and Green Lantern Golden Age Flash are a wicked combination but despite having 200% power, Doomsday lights up both the speedsters with a Buffalo-sized diarrhea dump in their ears. He then takes full advantage of the toilet paper shortage and uses Star Sapphire Wonder Woman to wipe; which leaves him smelling amazon-fresh. Poseidon, Kit Fisto, and Aquaman come rushing onto the beach to take out Doomsday; but the after shocks are felt from his diarrhea explosion as he blasts out all of the plastic straws, forks, and spoons that he ate along with his enormous carryout meal, killing not only them but the whole ocean, straight-up China and India style. Doomsday is still hungry for more destruction as Axe Cop comes flying in on top of his dinosaur steed Wexler. Doomsday kicks the T-Rex in the stomach and then punches his head clean off which sends Axe Cop into a rage that even the 4 death Superman killah can't handle. Axe Cop grabs a hold of his perfect axe and cuts the head off of the baddest bad guy around sending ol' Doomsday to the graveyard.

Grand Master Luke teams up with Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, and Franklin Richards and they just stand in a circle meditating while big stuff around them starts flying around and they just start killin folk with their minds. They manage to lift up the 5 AT-STs and just drop them in the plastic polluted ocean. Supreme Leader Snoke tries to get wily and use his force powers; but the foursome just look at him like “Nah gay”. He dies in a Force Whirlwind that sucks up Violet as well before they direct it towards Ragnarok who is finally able to dispel the telekinetic connection, even though he dies in the process. Batman (DG) & Robin (DW) show up and lucky for them know all of the tricks of killing Martians from their days with Batman. Dick Grayson holds a lighter up to the butt of Batman's son whilst Damien lets out a hellacious butt-smacker. It sprays toxic fire onto Martian Manhunter and his sidekick causing them to die of scurred-disease. And then Luke Skywalker kills the sort of dynamic duo with his laser sword.

Up in space, The Gentle Striders have diverted all of their attention to the Sentient City known as Ranx. All of their space-worthy vehicles are upon the small yellow lantern planet, which has brought all of the space vehicles of The Dino-Mite Assassins there as well to defend him. The Dino-Mite Assassins cannot quite figure out why they want the fight to take place so close to their massive planet-city friend; but it eventually becomes apparent that they have a plan. Wedge has single-handedly taken out 3 B-Wings, an X-Wing, and 2 A-Wings when he notices Yondu and Kraglin strafe in to the center of Ranx and drop off both Magneto and Circuit Breaker. The two masters of magnetism form a bond that begins sucking all ships and debris into the center of Ranx. Circuit Breaker sucks herself deep into the the core of the yellow city, while The captains of the Gentle Striders Guild Ships trigger the secret atomic weapons of the Royal Families that they hide aboard their ships. This sacrifice play kills many of their own fighters; but also destroys the most powerful character in the battle: Ranx. Even the brilliant Brainiac is caught off guard by this master plan. He knows that he cannot escape, even in his Skull Ship; but he activates counter-measures that make sure no member of the Gentle Striders can escape their own plan either.

Okay. As I watch Chuck Norris break out of his Penguin Suit and destroy it for good (no Conner, you don't get it back); I realize that we need to have a serious conversation about Conner, Kyle, and Zack's ability to assign weapons and items to their own characters. Chuck Norris is a man who deserves respect. Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised, when Superman goes to bed he wears Chuck Norris pajamas, Bush and Cheney couldn't find weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq because Chuck Norris had just left, Chuck Norris counted to infinity for God's sake: TWICE. He doesn't need a G-D PENGUIN SUIT. When you wreck Chuck Norris, you wreck yourself. And quit laughing Kyle. The man who put Hancock in a Frog Suit may not laugh at anyone's item assignments. EVER. Oh, wait. I'm sorry Zack, did you think you were getting off the hook here?? Let's scroll back up to the top of the screen and take a look at the most powerful known Light Side Force User in Original Star Wars Canon..... Yeah. That's right. This kid put the Daughter of Mortis in an Effin Penguin Suit. From this point forward the three of you are on Double-Secret-Assignment-Probation. It's for your own good. With that being said: Chuck Norris broke free of his Penguin Suit and Roundhouse Kicked the Penguin Head and the regular head off of the Daughter of Mortis. He then slurped up the leftover water from the destroyed penguin suits and took an acid wiz on the Father and Son of Mortis, killing them as well.

Speaking of bad general managing: Kyle's wicked assignment of Samwise getting the Blue Lantern Ring is deserving of some serious props; but unfortunately a blue lantern ring is about as useless as a dead dog without a green lantern ring present to charge up; so Sauron just clobbers the Hell out of Sam with his massive mace thingie right after he takes out King Kong with it Harambe style. Lucky for the Hobbit Ring Bearer, the over abundance of Hope that was released with the destruction of the blue lantern ring is enough to dissipate the existence of Sauron the Deceiver from this plain of existence.

Rebel Soldier #6 in a daring but suicidal move drives through the core of Mazdabot with his 4-Wheeler.

Superboy, Zombie Superboy, and Zombie Superman start heat visioning, ice breathing, and brain-eating the crap out of Kid Flash, Mas, Menos, Giant Hammer Bros. #1, Zombie #12, Reverse Flash, Zombie #12, and even Franklin Richards, before Voldemort combines his Yellow lantern power with that of his own intense wizardry on the magic-sensitive Kryptonians destroying all three of them with a single death spell.

Nightwing and Jason Bourne team up and use some serious fighting moves to take out Darth Malak, while Luke and Leia combine to take out E2 Batman's cool looking old fashioned car and then finish him off as well. They do the same to Dash, but their angered father kicks GM Luke in the groin and then breaks his neck. Leia then finishes off Mr. Incredible with a swift lightsaber thrust to the chest.

Doriath, the prized son of Gondor and hero who killed Thanos himself stands against Jason Bourne. Doriath evades a punch from Bourne and then stands tall through two more received. Doriath manages to run Jason through with his sword; but Bourne gets his gun off as well and they join each other in death.

Voldemort may have very high hopes in his ability to kill the chosen one Harry Potter, but he is just happy to join Chuck Norris in death as they touch each other and ignite the power of a nuclear bomb.

I still “forgot” to look up what Goku could do; so I'll just say he died of a broken heart after Nightwing stole his girlfriend after talking to her for 90 seconds; but no worries because Nightwing then got aids from her and died.

The Gentle Striders form up as only Doc Ock, Vulture, Sandman, Scorpion, and their leader Vampire Neo stand against the last two surviving members of The Dino-Mite Assassins: Leia Organa-Solo & Axe Cop. Vampire Neo and his crew begin to move towards the duo; but Leia simply looks to her partner and says: “Now it's time to make our master plan from the quarantine work”....

Leia throws Axe Cop the piece of broccoli that they had been saving, that he eats in one quick swallow (no chewing). He then turns his body around and throws down a pungent-Covid-19-butt-blaster and farts his team to victory to end this match on exactly what it was always intended to be. The. Worst. Fart. Ever.

Demise of the FFL

The playoff planet is quiet, seemingly lifeless. On what is normally a big week for the planet, it finds itself in a peculiar place. There is no fighting.

How did it get to this point? Well, some say it started in the pre-season. Superman got the flu, which started freaking some people out. The Commish tried to ban travel from Krypton and also for any Kryptonians to fight in matches. He eventually allowed it to happen after he was called a racist. As the season went on, a few people who had been near Superman in his matches died. Those people who had died went on to fight in matches on their next lives, and some people who were near those people died as well. This prompted a laser like focus on the deaths of fantasy matches.

Each week, the numbers came in: more deaths. The numbers only went up. Combatants became uneasy. Will this be the week I die, many of them pondered. At first, they continued to fight. Many began examining the Commish and his ability to stop the spread, openly questioning if he had done enough to stop or slow the spread.

Pressure mounted for hazard pay, as doing so would be considered unethical. The Commish reluctantly gave raises across the league. In order to account for this, he out of necessity had to make some cuts. As toilet paper had become more difficult to come by and more expensive, he decided to limit the amount shipped to each locker room. This resulted in many less than pleasant smelling combatants on the battlefield. Many combatants, all of whom chose to remain anonymous, were asked why they don’t just use a bidet instead, since water is basically free and it would greatly increase hygiene in a time when everyone is paranoid about it. The common response was “Because we aren’t fags.”

The weeks went on and the death tolls increased. The media display a staggering statistic. Nearly 100% of combatants of losing teams had died. Additionally, it was far more likely that lower point combatants would meet their demise. This highlighted the rampant inequality of the FFL. Calls were made for drastic changes.

The Commish tried to cite data that showed year over year deaths for the FFL were actually down, but that didn’t matter. There was now a massive push to stop this insane death machine. After all, there are a few boomers in the FFL who are afraid of collecting that 5^th death and would do anything to avoid it, including sinking the entire league.

After much pressure the Commish decided that the season needed to be put on hold until we could get this situation cleared up. He didn’t anticipate that this would take long before it was over. He deemed that week 5 would be given an extra week before the fighting would resume, that way people could heal up and then the league could resume with its biggest non-playoff matches of the year to really get things going again.

The week off was a very long week for FFL combatants. As they were restricted to the locker room, many grew bored. Some began fighting with each other out of boredom and itching to fight. Domestic locker room violence increased drastically as a result. Tensions grew among teammates. Some would sneak out to get some fresh air or go to the park, while others would report their teammates to the office of the commissioner for their violations. The league began to lose its stability.

Internally league officials fought over how to handle this crisis. Some wanted to halt everything until things were absolutely clear. Others wanted to continue on as if nothing were happening, thinking that it would resolve itself eventually.

As the hysteria reach new heights the decision was made to indefinitely delay the season. Too many lives were at stake, lives that could be lost if fighting were to continue. After all, the FFL wants everyone in the league to live. The news hit the combatants harder than any punch they had ever taken. This was their livelihood, what would they do without it?

There were some who did not believe the hype surrounding the krypterion flu.  The claimed that superman never in fact had the flu but had just been using his cold breath, which was mistaken for a sneeze. Others thought that it may have been a bioweapon created by a rival league, in the hopes of overcoming the FFL in ratings. These people are publicly scorned for their dangerous ideas.

The Commissioner and Vice-Commissioner were on opposite sides when it came to league actions. Eventually they came to the agreement that future actions could only be decided in one way: Through a match.

The Commish thought this would be the best optics for the relaunching of the league. Superman is symbolic of the epidemic. If he could be taken down in a match people could realize that it is ok to fight again.

The Midgets await the House Elves on the playoff planet. The atmosphere is tense, much more so than a regular match with what is on the line.

Superman, Prince Andrew, and the Paw Patrol show up before the midgets. The midgets waste no time engaging them. Battlecat quickly devours the Paw Patrol, while Link bravely lunges toward superman. Not knowing if he can even damage superman, he swings his master sword, connecting and decapitating him. The Midgets then turn towards Prince Andrew until Yoda tells them to stop. “Attack do not, a trap I sense.”

Prince Andrew begins clapping as he walks towards the Midgets. “The Vice-Commissioner would like to thank you.”

Yoda responds “Dead superman is. Stop this flu nonsense will.”

Despite being surrounded by an army that could obliterate him, Prince Andrew didn’t perspire one drop of sweat. Instead he simply walked up to superman’s head and Scooby doo style pulled off his mask to reveal Jeffrey Epstein.

“What do you think the rest of the league will think when, during the lockdown, the Commissioner sends over his best men to kill a known pedophile and all of his pets? What kind of secrets is the Commissioner hiding?” he continued “When this is gets out the Commish is done for. The league will crash and we will implement a new league and a new commissioner.”

“Fine the league will be. This back with you take.” Say Yoda, as he orders Zombie Green Lantern to bite Price Andrew. “Krypterion flu you now have.”

With that the Midgets return to their locker room. The Commish immediately puts out an announcement that all league activity is to continue as soon as possible. Matches coming soon.

Consortium Week 5 The Empire Vs John and Vader's House Of Sith Aids

The Empire is Black Lantern Kyle Raynor, Silver Surfer, Nova (Herald of Galactus), The Incredible Hulk, Obi Wan Kenobi in his Jedi Starfighter, Surtur, Mephisto, The Eradicator, Sauruman, Ares (DC), Ares (Mythology), Apollo, Pinhead, Nazghul #7 on his Mordor Horse, Beowolf, Xerxes, Onslaught, and 15 Saurdakaur Terror Troopers.

John and Vader's House of Sith Aids are Darth Vader w/Red Lantern Ring, Darth Revan, Sasuke Uchiha, The Dino Bots: Grimlock, Slag, Snarl, and Swoop, Darth Nihilus, The Predacons: Razorclaw, Divebomb, Headstrong, Rampage, and Tantrum, Anakin Skywalker in a TIE Bomber, Ashoka Tano and Captain Rex, Vehicle Voltron, Thunderstrike, Daenyrus Targaryen and his Dragon, Padawan Anakin in TIE Reaper, The Anti Moniter, Red Son Superman, Dinobot, The Pretender Monsters (Monstructer), Darth Sion, Grand Moff Tarkin, and Podracer Anakin in a First Order TIE Fighter.

Democracy Week 5 TEAM vs Affirmative Action Popeye's

Team is Ms. Marvel, Darksol, The Constructicons: Bonecrusher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quick Mix, and Scavenger, Seraph, Duke Leto Atreides, Iron Hide, Capt. N with Duke, Pit, Simon Bellmont, Mega Man, Rush, the Princess of Video Games, and Game Boy, Leader One, Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, Blaster with Eject, Rewind, Grandslam, Raindance, Nightstalker, Playback, Ramhorn, Rosanna, Stripes, Dile, Steeljaw, Zaur, Graphy, Noise, Blackout, Flip Sides, and Sundor, Emerald Weapon, Kepka, Dr. Robotnick, Death Adder, Death Adder Jr., Death Bringer, Mario, Luigi, Captain Falcon, Yoshi, Bill Ringer, Lance beam, Ice Bros, Warpath, Jazz, Bumblebee, and Cliff Jumper.

Popeye's are Ego, Destro, Lieutenant Flint, Beachhead, Roadblock, Gung Ho, Captin Jonathan, Powers, Shipwreck, General Hawk, Duke, Nemesis Enforcer, Lady Jane, Mike Sroka, Laura, James, Becks, Fred, Serpenter, Globulous, The Baroness, John Rambo, Shawn Michaels, Marty Jannety w/ a racoon leaf, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Jim “The Anvil” Niedhart, Sailor Moon (last life), Forest Gump, Guns n Roses: Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff Mckagen w/penguin suit, Steven Adler, and Dizzy Reed, Black Panther, Shuri (last life), Okoye (last life), Nakia (last life), and M'Baku, Red Hulk, Red She-Hulk, Power Man, Iron Fist, Jessica Jones, Tatsu, Bebop, Rockseady, Baxter Stockwell, Detective Spooner, Sonny, Namor, Namor's Griffen, and The Creature From The Black Lagoon.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. The Super Orange Dramatic Kitten Sisters of Luna

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Darkseid, Dark Supergirl, Kalibak, General Zod, Ursa, Non, Pyro, Bowser: King of Koopa, Superboy Prime, Dark Dragon, Tom Brady (in Hulkbuster Iron Man Suit) w/ Broccoli, Nazgul #8 on Fell Beast, Wedge Antilles in a X-Wing, Biggs Darklighter in a X-Wing, Hella: goddess of Death, & Bossk in Hound's Tooth.

The Dramatic Super Kitty Sisters of Luna are Vampire Abeloth, Zombie Abeloth, Cicada, Blackfire, Athena, Sonic the Hedgehog, Miles “Tails” Prowess, Terra, Jack Baur, The Toxic Avenger, The Protectobots: Hot Spot, Streetwise, Blades, Groove, & First Aid, Ttanus, Lazarus Long & James Vietch in a 2 Seater Y-Wing, Captain Steven Hiller in a X-Wing, Captain Jimmy Wilder in a Y-Wing, Samus Aran, Savitar, Princess Leia Organa w/ a Speed Ring, & Aeon Flux.

What a desolate place this is, I said to myself as a ran into the scene to watch this week's match (as you all know, one cannot simply walk into Mordor). I definitely wouldn't want to live in this place. Looks a lot like 2021 America after what is about to happen to the economy in 2020. Darkseid on the other hand seems to think the place is grand and likes it almost as much as his home planet of Apokolips.

“We could set up a great new home here”. Darkseid says to his #2.

“Yes, My liege”. Replies Dark Supergirl.

Darkseid and his Horsemen with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are well solidified and fortified within the fire-laden, evil domain that was once home to a being of such evil and such power that even Darkseid himself would have been impressed. His soldiers stand ready for the incoming army that is now going to attempt to simply walk into Mordor (crap. I already used that line didn't I)??

Jack Baur has been tasked with leading this team into battle. The Super Kitties of Luna's newly appointed Coaching staff, comprised of Barack Obama, Teddy Roosevelt, & Princess Tomato of the Salad Kingdom insisted that Agent Baur take point on this dangerous mission. He has been given full authority to call all the shots.

The death of The Super Kitties first overall pick from Season 1: Abeloth was tough; but with the addition of Vampire and Zombie Abeloth, the adversity has been stifled. Little did the Super Kitties High Command realize that the two new reincarnations of the Mother of Mortis wouldn't exactly be buddies. The first thing that happened as the squad was released into the battle field was a bit a friendly fire incident as Vampire Abeloth, still having her wits about her consumed Zombie Abeloth completely. This may seem like a tremendous loss to the team, but it may not be as Vampire Abeloth not only keeps her wit and force abilities, but has also just doubled her raw power quotient.

Jack Baur radios in the orders to his squad and the battle finally begins. Lazarus Long leads the air assault, being flanked by Marine pilots Hiller and Wilder. They fly in fast and complete a full strafing run before Wedge and Biggs in their X-Wings and Bossk in The Hound's Tooth can take flight; but once they do, the dogfight over the skies of Mordor begin.

Savitar runs circles around General Zod and shows that his speed is far superior to that of The Kryptonian Soldier. But that is the only area that Savitar trumps Zod in, for once Zod finally is able to catch up to his opponent with his own super speed and get a hold of the evil version of Barry Allen, Zod is able to crush the life out of him with his immeasurable strength.

Superboy Prime rushes in towards Cicada and is shocked to find out that after he attempted to use a blast of heat vision on his opponent that the power was lost once Cicada threw down his dagger. The power was returned to him though once the not-so-nice Last Son of Krypton used his myriad other powers to freeze the villain and then punch his head off.

The Toxic Avenger, in a truly grotesque manner shoves his mop handle into the eye of The Fell Beast of Mordor, but Nazgul #8 takes full advantage of his home turf and power by removing the Troma character's head with his long sword.

Ursa and Blackfire both take flight and begin a pitched battle (shout out Beck forever) in the darkened, clouded skies of Mordor. Blackfire holds her own for quite some time; but in the end can simply not do any real damage to the Kryptonian. Ursa hits her with a concentrated blast of heat vision and is then able to get a hold of the Tamaranian and strangle the life out of her.

Aeon Flux bites off a little more than she can chew by attacking Tom Brady in his HBIMS. She gets in some sweet looking kicks and pretty wicked attacks, but the GOAT uses his superior firepower and leaves her speechless (get it. Cuz nobody talked in that show (never mind, you guys probably don't get that reference, nobody watched that show but me)).

Dark Dragon awakens from a Morgath Volcano and begins to take full corporeal form. The Protectobots merge to form Defensor but are still no match for the power being summoned by Dark Dragon. Sonic and Tails race back to tell Jack Baur about the awakening. They inform him that this threat is huge and that we must send Vampire Abeloth after it. Baur informs them that Vampire Abeloth has already begun battling Darkseid and his minions and that she is unavailable; but assures the speedy rodents that there is a plan in place. Baur uses his CIA/NSA top secret intel on ancient weaponry that he discovered while running special ops in Babylon to call upon the power of Ttanus and have him merge with Defensor to form the Ultra-Medical-Defense Zord (this is actually what the $6 Trillion House Bill is funding to kill COVID-19 as well (don't tell anybody)). The UMDZ blasts all three of Dark Dragon's heads off; but as the story goes: A hero must stand and watch over Dark Dragon for eternity, so as Dark Dragon falls deep into the depths of Mordor, The merged Ttanus and Defensor fall into the depths with it.

Terra looks to Non for battle and defiantly says: “You might look big and tough, but I've fought plenty your size. I'm not scared, let's do this”. But that was a pretty silly thing for her to say, because Non then crushed her in a matter of seconds.

Hella may be the goddess of death, but she finds herself outmaneuvered and out-skilled by the goddess of Strategy Athena. Athena dodges the many attacks of Hella and then swiftly relieves Thor's sister of her head.

Sonic and Tails race over to Princess Leia to relay the battle plan given to them by Baur. Pyro attacks the trio with his flamethrower and the fiery surroundings of Mordor; but Leia uses her boosted agility from the speed ring and Force sensitivity to allow the trio to escape the attack. By the time Pyro realizes what has happened, Sonic and Tails are long gone and Leia has used her lightsaber to run the mutant through.

The Star Wars ship dogfight continues in the sky with Biggs being taken out by Captain Steven Hiller and “The Reverend” Jimmy Wilder being shot down by Wedge.

Bowser comes stomping out of a volcano like a bull in a China shop (is it racist to call it a China Shop in 2020??)? But Samus manages to send the beast right back into the volcano after she hits him with a perfectly aimed, fully charged laser blast to the chest.

Good thing Lazarus Long is a good enough pilot to fly the Y-Wing without help, because James Vietch doesn't know what he is doing. Vietch is serving to make Lazarus crack up though with numerous graphs he has created on the weather, death rates, and misery index of Mordor. Long, despite having the less armored ship proves his excellent flying skills by taking down Bossk in The Hound's Tooth; but is taken out shortly afterwards by Wedge in his X-Wing who seemingly came out of nowhere. Long pulls the eject button on the Y-Wing and begins dropping down to safety; but his comedic friend James gets his over-sized graph stuck in the pod and does not make it out alive. Steven Hiller tries to copy Wedge's maneuver, but doesn't execute quite as well. Wedge doubles back and takes out Hiller as well.

Double-Powered-Quadruple-Undead-Vampire Abeloth unleashes a whirlwind of Force power on Darkseid and his entourage that vaporizes Kalibak in the blink of an eye. Darkseid blasts her back with Omega Beams and Dark Supergirl hits her with as much heat as her vision can produce. Abeloth struggles to break free from the powerful energy projection that would kill just about anything on any world; but before she does,Zod, Ursa, Non, and Superboy Prime come in to lend a hand, and destroy The Mother of Mortis. Only Non gets too close to the release of power and perishes in this final onslaught of the Kitties Champion.

Jack Baur realizes that all hope is lost with the loss of Abeloth and signals the retreat; but The Dino-Mites under the orders of the merciless Darkseid continue to push forward. Athena, Leia, and Sonic hold the line. Athena delivers a sword to the face of Nazgul #8 to take him out but is then triple-teamed by Darkseid, Zod, and Dark Supergirl. Sonic pushes Tails out the way to protect him, but is killed by Superboy Prime and Brady.

Baur, taps Leia on the shoulder and simply says: “It's time”. Princess Leia uses her Speed Ring to cast Egress.

Darkseid and his minions search Mordor to no avail and come to the conclusion that they must be dead. But if they think Baur and his friends won't be back for revenge..... Than they don't know Jack.

Week 4: Be Gentle v Barkley

Be Gentle, It's My First Time (say sike): Dr. Fate, Zeus and Hera, Dr. Strange and Wong, Black Adam with a Yellow Lantern Ring, Zombie Superman, Zilla, King Ghidorah, Nazgul 6 on its Fell Beast, 4 Cave Trolls, 5 Warg Riders and 5 Wargs, Goku w/ Green Lantern Ring, Gohan, Krillin, Piccolo, Tien Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiaotzu, Yajirobe, Bulma, Thengal, 14 Dwarves

Barkley's Turrible Decisions: Balrog 1-5, Treebeard, Ents  1-3, Entwives 1-2, Tom Bombadil, Smaug, Stryke, Haskeer, Colia, Jup, Alfray, and Maniorcs 1-10, Nazgul 5 on its Fell Beast, Dragons 1-3, Nurgle the Plaguelord, Skeletor, Nightcrawler, Neo-Cymeks 1-10, Krayt Dragon 1-5, Usagi Yojimbo and Jotaro, Fortress Maximus, his Head, and His Head's Head, Boba Fett, Mace Windu, Robo Barkley, Khal Drogo, Saint Walker w/ Green Lantern Ring, Blanka

The Nazgul meet in the sky, both on their Fell Beast. Never would they have expected to be facing off against each other. But with brutal efficiency both execute the same attack at the same time, striking each other in a way that they are severed from the power of the rings and they both perish. The Fell Beast both attack each other at the neck and they fall from the sky, both dying.

The dark forces of Mordor sense the presence of Nurgle, who is oozing disease into the surrounding area. He is quickly confronted by the Warg Brigade, Trolls, and Dwarves seeking to end the spread of his plague. Some of the dwarves come into contact with infect fauna and begin to feel ill. In mere minutes some of the dwarves fall victim to the disease, Knowing they will likely meet a similar fate the rest of the Dwarves begin an attack on Nurgle. The 4 Cave Trolls set up a ranged attack and manage to strike the monster with large boulders, but they wipe out the surrounding dwarves. Looking to a nearby valley the Wargs and Trolls see Zilla and King Ghidora preparing to face off against Fortress Maximus (Along with his Head and his Heads Head), Smaug and Dragons 1-3. Eager to help their allies they set out. Meanwhile, the Kaiju face off against the Robot and Dragons. The Kaiju both open up with large energy attacks, the King with electronic blast and Zilla with his fire breath. Dragon 3 gets absolutely obliterated by the attack, but the others manage to survive with minor injuries. Quickly responding Fortress Maximus Slices one of Ghidorah's heads clean off, but is met with attacks from the other two. Zilla looking to back up Ghidorah aims to strike the enormous bot, but he is met with a wall of flames as Smaug hits him with concentrated fire but to little effect. Then from the sides Dragons 1 and 2 strike Zilla. But Zilla enjoys a challenge and fights back the two dragons. With no help from Zilla, Ghidorah loses a second head to Fortress Maximus' Sword. The Final head begins to charge up a large lighting blast, but striking at his neck, the blast loses all direction and detonates, destroying the Kaijus body and severely disabling Fortress and his Heads. Zilla seeing the bot disabled goes to strike when Smaug attacks the mutated lizard with another blast of flames, but this time he answers back. Overpowering Smaug with the flames, scorching his mouth, he is forced to retreat. Zilla seeing this as an opportune time approaches the still scrambled Fortress Maximus. Melting the bot with his fire, the ground below the Kaiju crumbles as Krayt Dragons 1-5 erupts from the Earth, catching Zilla off his guard. Then Smaug and the two dragons fly in from above and they all begin eating away at Zilla. In the carnage Smaug and Krayt Dragons 1-2 suffer enough wounds to fall after the battle is won. Upon arriving to help their Kaiju friends, the wargs, their riders, and the trolls are able to kill the wounded 2 dragons, before they remaining Krayt Dragons finish them off. 

Dr. Strange and Wong find themselves drawn to a small forest. They find an older looking man picking flowers. With Curiosity they ask the man his name, "Tom Bombadil" he replies, "Though I know who you are and why you are here." Strange and Wong bewildered by the strange man, begin to fear that they might be out of their element. Choosing to attack first, Strange begins sending blasts of energy at Tom, though they seem to have little effect on the man. Breaking out into song Strange and Wong begin to fear what they have gotten themselves into. The trees in the forest, responding to the song, begin to grab at the wizards. Wong is quickly caught up in some roots and is swallowed whole. Strange, floating, is able to keep himself mobile enough to not be sucked in. But Tom was just beginning his song and attacks began to increase, and soon the poor doctor found himself struck with a stick through his chest, falling from the air. But shortly after the death of Dr. Strange, Dr. Fate approached Tom. Sensing his great power, but the great need for a preliminary message of wisdom, he quickly attacked the man. In a weird sense of irony, Dr. Fate crushed crazy Bombadil with the same tree that sucked up Wong. 

Thengal finds himself in the presence of two things he never would have expected to see, a Brazilian Electric Monkey Man and An African American Cyborg. Sword in hand he swings at his opponents, Blanka quickly counter attacks the King of Rohan, he is struck down. But as he draws his sword from Blanka's corpse, Robo Barkley dunks his head into a nearby rock, killing him on impact. 

The Z Fighters all arrive at the battle. Stryke, Haskeer, Colia, Jup, Alfray, and Maniorcs 1-10 stand opposite, along with Usagi Yojimbo, Jotaro, Boba Fett, and Mace Windu. Tien Shinhan, Yajirobe, Bulma are quickly cut down as Boba Fett fires a wrist rocket following it up with a flame attack. But in retaliation, Gohan and Krillin kill the bounty hunter. Mace Windu pulls Krillin close enough that the orcs are able to cut him down, but Gohan, Yamcha, and Chiaotzu cut down the Maniorcs. The final orcs get in formation and are able to kill Chiaotzu and wound Yamcha before dying. Jotaro swings in to finish off the wounded Yamcha, and Piccolo now moves into to strike him, but Usagi jumps in to protect his friend and slices the Namekian in two with his lightsaber. Goku and Gohan strike the two rabbits. But Windu follows up quickly slicing Gohan and continuing to overpower Goku, But the Jedi tires quickly compared to the Sayin, and due to his nature Goku does not feed Mace any energy. Goku finishes off the Jedi Master with a Kamehameha. 

Zeus and Hera (in a human form) standoff against Treebeard, Ents 1-3, Entwives 1-2, and Skeletor. Skeletor uses dark magic to kill Hera but is struck with a bolt of lightning and killed. In an attack on God, Treebeard and the Ents attack fearlessly to defend their world. All of the Ents and Entwives were struck down with lightning in battle before treebeard picks up the god and crushes him, killing him.

Black Adam and Goku meet up, with Zombie Superman and Dr. Fate on their way. Zombie Superman is cut off by the group of Balrogs. Drawing power from Mordor they attack hard and chip away at the Zombified Hero, but with his laser vision, he is able to slice Balrogs 4-5 to bits. With one final attack, Zombie Superman is burned to ashes. Treebeard, Saint Walker, Balrogs 1-3, Robo Barkley, Khal Drogo, Krayt Dragons 3-5, Nightcrawler, and Neo-Cymeks 1-10 go to attack Black Adam and Goku before Dr. Fate can arrive. Barkley wins the fight but they lose Saint Walker, Khal Drogo, Robo Barkley, Krayt Dragons 3-5, and Neo-Cymeks 1-10. Treebeard, Balrogs 1-3, Nightcrawler, tired from a fierce day of battle, are left to fight the relatively fresh Dr. Fate. Dr. Fate quickly dispatches Nightcrawler, but Dr. Fate comes under the heavy attacks of the Balrogs. Much stronger than he anticipated, the balrogs put Dr. Fate on the defensive. Treebeard begins to swing on the mystical being as well. Dr. Fate manages to destroy Treebeard, but one of the Balrogs wips Dr. Fates helmet off his head, rendering him severely weakened and he is quickly killed by the three Balrogs.

Balrogs 1-3 of Barkley's Turrible Decisions remain the only survivors, retreating into the depths to restore energy.

Consortium Week 4 Ashoka's Acrobatic Assassins vs John and Vaders House of Sith Aids

Ashoka's Acrobatic Assassins are Sauron, Witch King of Angmar on his fell beast, Frodo Baggins, Aragorn, Galadriel, Elf #6-20, Orc #1-50, Uruk Hai #1-15, Hadir, Dunadan Kyle Houslander on a mordor horse, Sturm on Mordor Horse #2, Tanis the Half Elvin King on mordor horse #3, Riverwind on mordor horse #4, Bolin, El Diablo, Freddy Krueger, 12 guardian knights, and Zombie #8-10.

Sith Aids are Voltron #1-5, Thunderstrike, Darth Sion, Cad Bane, IG-88, Dengar, Savage Opress, Feral, The Rancor, Oberyn Martell, Amon, The Ninth Sister, Maxima, Jon Snow, Firelord Ozai, Velociraptor #1-10, Mark Dantonio, Tom Izzo in a goomba sock, The Anti-Moniter, Rayden, Captain Rex, Death Troopers #1-6 (all last life).

FFL Week 4: Affirmative Action Popeyes VS. Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People

Affirmative Action Popeyes: The Mountain, The Hound, Bran Stark, Jamie Lanister, Sir Bronn of the Black Water, The Night King and 5 White Walkers with a Dragon Lance (I assume these are like the general looking dudes that ride horses), Viserion, Balerion the Dread, Tywin Lannister, The X-Men (Cyclops, Jean Grey, Archangel, Beast, and Iceman), Dark Phoenix, Metroplex, Avatar Aang, Red Dragon 1-4, Twincast, Fast-forward, and Autobot Cassettes 1-3

Gender Neutral Misunderstood Little People: Nazgul #9 on Fell Beast, Yoda (w/ a White Lantern Ring & 5th Ring of the Dwarf Lords), The Mandalorian w/ Quill & The Child (Baby Yoda) in Mando's ship, Zombie Omega Supreme, Sunfire, Super Saiyan Conner Weidman in his Overpriced Mazda RX-8, (Symbiote Suit) Spider-Man, Gurney Halleck on Mordor Horse #9, The Combaticons:  Onslaught, Brawl, Blast Off, Swindle, and Vortex (combine to form Bruticus), Mighty Mouse, Bat-Mite (w/ The 6th ring of the Dwarf Lords), The Stunticons: Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Dead End, & Drag Strip (merge to form Menasor), Rachel Summers (Phoenix), Mimic, Shadowcat & Lockheed, Tyrion Lannister (w/ The first Ring of the Dwarf Lords), Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Link, Green Lantern #2A (last death), Vampire Green Lantern.

I don’t feel like writing the backstory for this match so let's just get right to it. Super Saiyan Conner Weidman comes riding into Mordor in his overpriced Mazda RX-8 blaring “Christ Conscious” by Joey Badass through his speakers but as he switches to 4th gear he lets go of his clutch too quick and yet another Mazda RX-8 clutch goes down. As he gets out of the car to pop the hood, Twincast blasts his Mazda. Thus causing Conner to enrage into Super Saiyan mode, he runs to Twincast and uses his Discount Tire experience to wrench off all the bolts off of one of Twincasts legs. Twincast, now immobilized, is destroyed by The Combaticons merged together as Bruticus, but before Twincast was blasted he shot a blast towards Conner and killed him.  

Fast-Forward and the 3 Autobot Cassettes go to get revenge on The Combaticons but stand no chance against the force that is Bruticus, they are easily destroyed but, after they were destroyed their bodies fall on Bat-Mite, Gurney Halleck, Mighty Mouse, killing them.

Dark Phoenix then uses her telepathic powers and takes large boulders from the side of Aman Amarth and throws them at Bruticus taking out the legs (Swindle and Brawl). Bruticus then begins to unassemble but as they are doing that, Avatar Aang, master of the four elements, uses lava from Orodruin and throws it on the rest of The Combaticons, thus melting them to death. 

Metroplex then tries to attack The Stunticons but, he stands no chance as The Stunticons are assembled into Menasor mode and easily defeats Metroplex.

Avatar Aang and Dark Phoenix work together using resources from Mount Doom to create a vortex combo of lava and earth to blow The Stunticons (assembled into Menasor form) into a million pieces. Sunfire and The Mandalorian in his ship distract Avatar Aang.While Mimic and Rachel Summers (phoenix) use their telekinetic powers to defeat Dark Phoenix by taking rock from Mount Doom to cuff Dark Phoenix to the side of Mount Doom while Symbiote Spiderman takes a large sharp triangular piece of Fast-Forward and throws it at Dark Phoenix and impales her, thus killing her.

The X-Men then try to avenge Dark Phoenix by attacking Rachel Summers and Mimic. This is a very close battle as Mimic has learned all of the X-Men’s abilities and Rachel Summers is a very powerful Phoenix, but eventually the X-Men just tires out Summers and Mimic and kills them. The only surviving X-Men is Jean Gray.

Yoda, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, and Link work together to fight some of the best swordsmen from the Game of Thrones universe. But the swordsman stand no chance as Yoda and Asajj lightsabers cut through their swords with ease, thus killing Sir Bronn of the Blackwater, The Mountain, Bran Stark and Tywin Lannister. The Mountain does kill the Nightsister Acolyte and Link. But before this encounter Bran Stark used his Three-Eyed Raven abilities to see into the future and inform The Hound of this encounter. He uses this information to stab Asajj Ventress in the back with a sword while also calling her a f****** c****. After he does this he is then blown up by Yoda’s white lantern ring.

Tyrion Lannister uses his Dwarf Ring to increase his intellect and informs Symbiote Spiderman that the only way to defeat the night King by throwing him into the fires of Mount Doom, so Spiderman proceeds to wrap the Night King using his symbiote powers and swings up to the top of Mount Doom and cast him directly into the fire. The death of the Night King thus causes the White Walkers to shatter. 

Avatar Aang after seeing most of his teammates defeated goes into the Avatar State and throws Sunfire down into the Earth’s core. He then uses his enhanced Avatar powers to shoot down The Mando’s ship with a blast of lava. The ship crashes into a makeshift tent where Tyrion Lannister, Shadowcat and Lockheed are stationed.They are all killed by the crash and so is Quill, while The Mando is injured. Zombie Omega Supreme is hungry for brains so he shoots Aang in his scar in his back to kill him and thus feeds on his brains.

Zombie Omega Supreme is still hungry after eating Aang’s brain so he then shoots down the 4 Red Dragons and begins to feast on them. Viserion and Balerion the Dread are angry after seeing their fellow dragons killed, they attack Omega Supreme and melt him with continuous fire coming from their mouths.

Yoda, Nazgul #9 on Fell Beast, Green Lantern #2 and Vampire Green Lantern begin to attack Viserion, Balerion the Dread and Jean Gray.Viserion blasts a column of fire towards the Fell Beast and kills the Nazgul. Yoda returns with a blast of White Lantern energy into one of Viserion wings which causes the dragon to nose dive into the pits of Mount Doom. Balerion the Dread then tries to avenge his friend and shoots a blast of fire at Yoda. Yoda uses his ring to redirect the fire but this redirects into the Vampire Green Lantern and kills him. Green Lantern being on his last life decides to use the ring to blow himself up, this kills Balerion but luckily Jean Gray had used rock from Orodruin to protect herself from the blast.

Jean Gray then uses her telekinetic powers to continuously throw rock and Lava from Mount Doom towards Yoda. Yoda is using his White Lantern Ring but is becoming tired exponentially, just as he is about to fall to the vortex of rock and lava being thrown at him. A loud bang is heard and the vortex of rock and lava stopped. Yoda looks up, confused as he hears “The Mandalorian” by Ludwig Goransson playing in the background, all he sees is Jean Gray’s body on the ground and The Mando with Baby Yoda standing in the background. Apparently during this great battle after The Mando’s ship was shot down, Baby Yoda healed The Mando and after the healing Mando saw Yoda struggling to withstand and so Mando used his Amban Sniper Rifle to shoot Jean Gray in the back.  

Democracy Week 4 TEAM vs House Elves

TEAM is Vulcan, the Constructicons: Bonecruher, Buckethead, Hightower, Long Haul, Quickmix, and Scavenger (Merge to from Devastator), Duke Leto Atreides, Iron Hide, Captain N. with Duke, Kid Icarus, Simon Bellmont, Mega Man, Rush,, Princess Of Video Games, and Game Boy, Death Adder, Death Adder Jr., Death Bringer, Warpath, Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliff Jumper, Octane, Sunstorm, Reflector (middle, left right), Chris Artrip w/ tanooki suit, Julie w/ Fire Flower, Ella w/ frog suit, Jack w/ frog suit, Ben w/ goomba sock, Mighty Morphin Artrip Rangers: Chris, Julie, Ella, Jack, Ben (with weapons and zords), Meta-Night, and Ewok #7

George Washington's House Elves are Gandaulf the Grey, Thor, Set (5 heads), The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Medusa, Karnak, Gorgon, Triton, Crystal, Lockjaw, Maximus the Mad, and the Unspoken, Colosus, Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Ben Kenobi, Mar-Vel, Archangel, Orion, Wild Men #1-10, Nazgul #3 on his Mordor Horse, Marshall, and Dothraiki#1 on Dothraki horse #1.

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