Week 6 Democracy: TEAM vs Ahsoka’s Acrobatic Assassins

AAA is Dick Grayson (Batman) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Damien Wayne, Earth 2 Batman, Earth 2 Catwoman, Batzarro, Kingdom Come Superman (last life), John Stewart w/ Green and Blue Lantern Rings (last life), Indigo 1 and Monk, Salam, Rams Al’ Ghul, DC Thor, Etruscan The Demon, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight (last life) Zach Houslander Younger Jedi Knight, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, Stan Lee, and Orcs #30-34 (all last life) 

Team is White Lantern Kyle Raynor (last life), Red Sun Superman, Superboy Prime, Nekron, Zombie Cyborg Superman, Omega Supreme, Hutch Mansell, Duke Leto Atreites, Seraph, Captain Nintendo, Kid Icarus, Duke, Simon Belmont, Mega Man, Rush, The Princess of Video Games, and Game Boy

Week 5: Empire vs Red Garter Guardians

Empire- Polaris, Supergirl, Scarlet Witch, Capt. Marvel, Spider-Man, Black Widow, Black Flash, Ocean Master, Aqualad, Dark Supergirl, The Ancient One, Abeloth, Dracula, John Constantine, Prof. Minerva McGonagall, The Grand Inquisitor, Adam Strange, The Leprechaun, Chucky, Bride of Chucky, & Leatherface

Red Garter Guardians- The Q Continuum: Q, Q2, Lady Q, Colonel Q, q, & Quinn, The Guardians of the Galaxy: Starlord, Rocket, Groot, Drax the Destroyer, and Gamora in a CEC YT-2400, The Stunticons: Motor Master, Breakdown, Wildrider, Drag Strip, & Dead End, George the Albino Ape, Lizzie the Lizard, Ralph the Wolf, Raiden, Daenerys Targaryen & her Dragon, Storm Trooper #1-43, Kyle Brovloski, Eric Cartmen, Kenny McCormick, & Stan Marsh (SP kids all have Glocks), Dinobot, 4-Lom in a TIE Bomber, Zuckuss in a TIE Bomber, Snow Trooper #1-8, & Kyle & Conner in The Gekko Mobile

Welcome to the midseason Playoff Planet match. The budget this season appears to have been directed elsewhere, so unfortunately we were left with Qatar and the Chinese to assemble the arenas this time and the slave labor they were using was behind schedule. This led to the most of the battlefields not being finished and polished in time for the battle. 

The couldn’t get enough water to finish filling all the oceans in time so they decided to slap a beach together and since there were so few water characters played, it kind of worked out. 

The Empire had Ocean Master, Aqualad, and Adam Strange, while the Guardians sent the Rampage Monsters and the Guardians of the Galaxy. Aqualad pulled the Rampage Monsters out into the water and began drowning them. The Guardians had Adam Strange flying around and were trying to shot him out of the sky. Lizzie slurped up Ocean Master, who exited her stomach through the side, Aqualad shocked the hell out George, frying the big monke, and Ralph escaped the water and ran away. The Guardians managed to hit Adam with the laser cannons and he fell back to the ground. 4-Lom and Zuckuss flew a bombing run on the beach and blew Adam to smithereens before flying off. Knowing there was little they could do against Ocean Master and Aqualad here near the water, the Guardians of the Galaxy followed them out. 

The Arctic was blistering that day. The AC was cranked and the snow machines were on full blast, making blizzard like conditions. 

The Guardians sent Dinobot, the South Park Gang and Snowtroopers in to get a foothold. Dracula, Prof. McGonagall and the Ancient One were sent to dispatch them. The Planet was put together so hastily though, that this area was actually right next to the beach. Empire was approaching the entrenched position when they began receiving fire. Dracula was killed in the opening volley. The Ancient One pushed into the encampment and started pushing down the trenches, killing the Snow Troopers in her way. Dinobot jumped into the fight, blocking her path. Flying over the battle was Zuckuss, 4-Lom, and the Guardians of the Galaxy. McGonagall damaged 4-Lom’s TIE Bomber and it crashed into the Zuckuss, sending both ships to the ground. Both were killed on impact and their ships landed right on the Ancient One and the South Park kids shot her body 37 times just to be sure she was dead. 

The Prof received backed up by Ocean Master and Aqualad. Dinobot and the South Park kids stood against them with air support from the Guardians. Dinobot led a charge with the kids providing him suppressing fire. The Guardians hit Ocean Master with their laser cannons and then there was nothing left. Aqualad hit the ship with a water lightning special disabling its weapons and engine and the ship began gliding to the surface. McGonagall killed Kenny accidentally, I mean she literally wasn’t even aiming for him but he still died. Kyle and Stan said the line and they shredded her. Aqualad and Dinobot were in the heat of battle where they both delivered killing blows to each other simultaneously, it was truly glorious.  Ralph picked up the kids and took them into the city.

The forest had solid ground, but the trees were sparse and they were those weak zoomer trees that are all the rage these days.

Polaris did that thing that people who control magnetic fields do to transformers and crushed the Stunticons into each other. It was easy for the Q’s to take out the slower members of The Empire before anyone else could make a move, this left Black Widow, The Grand Inquisitor, and Polaris dead. Kyle and Conner put the Geckko Mobile into overdrive and ran over Captain Marvel. Then together, and it was like super, super, sexual, they shifted it into reverse and backed over her again, and they repeated this process for the rest of the battle, it was pretty hot. Spiderman was swinging and swangin, but as he was doing this he was taking with him tree branches, so he began throwing them at the Qs. Q and Q2 were fighting Supergirl and Dark Supergirl, though it seemed that neither side was gaining anything on the other. Scarlet Witch was having none of this Q nonsense, she trapped Quinn and Lady Q in some other dimension and then collapsed it on them. Quinn was able to jump out in time. Colonel Q removed the tree Spiderman was swinging on and he went crashing down and was impaled on a tree. 

The fact Quinn escaped Scarlet Witch really offended her, like where does he get off wanting to live. She became hyper focused on him and disconnected him from the Continuum. This left Quinn powerless as he was fleeing. Little q hit Scarlet Witch from the side saving Quinn for the moment. Black Flash was mixing up Colonel Q, but was surprised that his touch alone wasn’t killing him. Black Flash dug his claws into his Colonel Q physical form and took him into the speed force and they were both lost to time in a never ending battle. Q and Q2 hatched a plan to kill the two supergirls, but it was dangerous. Q fell down like he was out of gas and both Supergirls lined up to hit him with the laser beams. At the last second Q2 pushed Q out of the way and along with himself, the Supergirls killed each other with friendly fire. Scarlet Witch picked up Kyle and Conner’s Gekko Mobile and through it at Quinn, crushing him. Q and q then went for the wombo combo on Scarlet Witch, who decided to die and take q with her.

The desert started as an island in the ocean, but Xi Jinping forget to tell his men to stop pouring sand and before they knew it they had built the desert.

Here is where Daenerys on her Dragon, Stormtroopers 1-43, and Raiden faced off against John Constantine, Chucky and his bride, the Leprechaun, Leatherface, and Abeloth. Chucky, his bride, and the Leprechaun ambushed a column Stormtroopers. There was blood everywhere as the little demons were jumping around slashing between their armor plates. Eventually 20 of the troopers laid injured or dead, while the battered remains of the dolls and the mush that was the little green man were found nearby. Leatherface and Raiden were sizing each other up. Leatherface was on the offensive, swinging and slashing that chainsaw through the air as Raiden dodged every attack. Then he shot lightning into his chainsaw, disabling it before driving his staff through his body. Constantine finished off the rest of the Stormtroopers with ease. Daenerys flew by on her Dragon and tried to fry him, but he protected himself. Abeloth easily dispatched Raiden and turned her sight to the Dragon. Just like my hopes for Season 8, my hopes for Daenerys were too high and Abeloth and Constantine made easy work of both her and her dragon.

Moving to the city, it was time for the final showdown. The city appeared complete, but upon further inspection all of the buildings were empty and made out of styrofoam with concrete plastered on. It appears that Chinese contractors were used, so it wouldn’t be long before they started falling down. 

The CEC YT-2400 had crashed into the city and fire started to spread. The Guardians emerged from the wreckage and met up with Ralph, Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Q. All that stood for Empire was Constantine and Abeloth, luckily they had been preparing. Constantine made the fire in the city swell bigger and bigger until it felt like everyone was standing in Hell. Ralph couldn’t take the heat and was engulfed in the flames. Abeloth jumped the Guardians and killed everyone except for Rocket, who was small enough to escape into the wreckage with ease. Constantine had been making projections of himself to throw off the other team, while he was really preparing a spell to kill Q. Rocket got revenge for his team when he rigged what was left of the ship they crashed to explode by overloading the engines, killing Abeloth and himself. Q found Constantine preparing his spell and began to speak with him, confident that he could win the fight. Knowing luck was with him, Constantine sprang his other trap that Q happened to be standing on. Holding Q in place, he finished his other spell and banished Q to some other dimension. But Cartman,, Stan and Kyle had been sneaking around while all this was going on. They all opened fire on Constantine at once from different directions and there was no way he could block everything all at once.

Week 5: House Elves VS. Turrible Decisions

 George Washington’s House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Musterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Gandlaf the Grey, Iron Man, Harry Potter, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Firelord Sozin, Ron Weasely, Shredder, Sand Worm #6-10, Nazgul #3 on Mordor Horse, Omnius, Ajax, Ginny Weasely, Hagrid, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog & Zangief

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Omniman, Battle Beast, Recoome, Burter, Jeice, Guldo, Captain Ginyu, Deadpool, Lady Demetrescu, Guy Gardner, The Anti-Monitor, Usagi Yojimbo w/ Green Lightsaber, Ganthet, Says, Ant Man, Wasp, Agatha Harkness, Tom Bombadil, Ki Adi Mundi, Space Ghost, Galvatron, Black Goku, Robo-Barkley, Yellow Lantern Scarecrow, Darth Nihilus, Sergeant Slaughter, Red Dog, Taurus, Mercer, Booster Gold, & Hanukkah Harry in Kobe’s Private Helicopter.

In the Forest

House Elves: Gandalf the Grey, Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, Ginny Weasely, Hagrid, Sirius Black, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, M. Bison, Sagat, Vega, Balrog, & Zangief 

Turrible Decisions: The Wither, Usagi Yojimbo w/ Green Lightsaber, Agatha Harkness, Tom Bombadil, Sergeant Slaughter, Red Dog, Taurus, Mercer, & Hanukkah Harry in Kobe’s Private Helicopter

This battle on the Playoff Planet will first start in the Forest where the House Elves have already set up a defensive position in the forest while Barkley’s will be the offensive in this area of the planet.

Barkley’s Terrible Decisions are entering the forest on foot while Hannukah Harry is in Kobe’s Private Helo up above when all of a sudden the Helo starts malfunctioning and takes a nose dive towards the ground crashing causing a huge explosion also killing some of his own teammates in the Wither, Red Dog, & Taurus.

The House Elves see the explosion and decide to go investigate it. Eventually the House Elves and Turrible Decisions run into each other and go into full on battle. Sergeant Slaughter, Mercer and Usage team up while Tom Bombadil is in the corner dancing and singing. Usagi uses his exceptional skills with a blade to make quick work of the Weasley Siblings and the Street Fighter Characters.. Usagi then goes to put in work against the Father and Son duo of Lucius and Draco Malfoy. Hagrid and Harry Potter team up to take on Sergeant Slaughter and Mercer. The GI Joe characters stood no chance against the wizards and were struck down with quite ease. Usagi then strikes Draco through his chest, killing him easily. Lucius retaliates to avenge his fallen son with the Avada Kedavra Curse, killing the Rabbit Ronin instantaneously.

The House Elves surround Agatha Harkness and thus there was a huge wizardy battle where in the end Gandalf and Harry Potter were left standing.

All that’s left of the Turrible Decisions is Tom Bombadil who is still singing and dancing. Gandalf goes up to Tom to try and strike a deal as Tom is a friend of Gandlaf’s respects his power. After a long winded talk between Gandalf and Tom, Tom snaps his fingers and disappears but also brings Harry Potter with him, thus removing them from this battle. This move leaves Gandalf the Grey alone in the Forest. He will meet up with the rest of the House Elves in the City.

In the Desert

House Elves: Sandman, Firelord Sozin, Sandworm #6-10, Omnius

Turrible Decisions: Recoome, Burter, Jerce, Guido, Captain Ginyu, Galvatron, and Black Goku

The two teams have met each other in the desert. 

The Ginyu Force begins to put in work into the Artificial Intelligent entity Omnius, while Firelord Sozin and Black Goku fight, and Sandman and the Sandworms fight Galvatron. 

Galvatron has trouble fighting against the two sand dominant forces of Sandman and the Sand Worms. Galvatron keeps shooting blasts from his gauntlet into Sandman but they either keep missing or don’t do enough damage to affect Sandman. After a while of this, two Sand Worms come up from the ground and swallow Galvatron from the bottom but the swallowing of all this metal does kill the two sand worms.

The Ginyu Force prove to be too powerful for the Omnius Artificial Intelligence entity and blow up its mortal form. The two other Sand Worms retaliate by swallowing up the Ginyu Force. All that’s left of the Turrible Decisions is Black Goku, but he is not going to go down easy. He is proving to be an overmatch for Firelord Sozin but the powerful emperor is able to stay alive long enough for the rest of his team to come help him out. The two remaining Sand Worms go to swallow Black Golu, but Black Goku is too strong and destroys the Sand Worms with ease. Sandman then goes and creates a tornado of sand around Goku causing him to not be able to do anything. Sandman and Black Goku realize the only way they might be able to take out Goku is by Firelord Sozin to surround the Sand Tornado with Fire cutting off all oxygen to Goku. The House Elves do this and are able to successfully kill Black Goku, but this also kills Sandman as well.

Firelord Sozin will team up with the rest of his teammates in the city. 

In the City

House Elves: Dr. Octopus, Mysterio, Green Goblin, Sandman, Electro, Vulture, Gandalf the Grey, Iron Man, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker, Cicada, Red She Hulk, Firelord Sozin, Shredder, Nazgul #3 on his Mordor Horse, & Ajax

Turrible Decisions: Omniman Battle Beast, Deadpool, Lady Demetrescu, Guy Gardner, The Anti-Monitor, Ganthet, Says, Antman, Wasp, Ki Adi Mundi, Space Ghost, Robo Barkley, Yellow Lantern Scarecrow, Darth Nihilus and Booster Gold

Sorry guys, I fell asleep watching this match in the city and missed a lot of it. From what I see now, it is just Gandalf the Grey left for the House Elves and Omni-Man and Booster Gold is left for the Turrible Decisions. Omni-Man and Booster Gold go in and put in work against the Wizard from Middle Earth. Gandalf is blocking blows left and right from the two super powered beings. After a while Gandalf is definitely gassed so he calls to wield the Flame of Anor and his sword becomes blazen in flame. This gives him rejuvenated energy and begins to put an offensive against the Turrible Decisions. Gandlaf is throwing multiple combos using his staff and sword. Omni-Man and Booster Gold are struggling to put any sort of offensive against the Wizard and eventually Gandlaf is able to cut the head off of Omni-Man. Unfortunately Booster Gold is able to immediately retaliate with an energy projection blast through the chest of Gandlaf. 

Week 5 Consortium: Misunderstood Little People vs Crack Danks

Midgets: Vampire Wolverine, Magneto, Vampire Sinestro, X-23, Tyrion Lannister (w/ Dwarf Ring), Gabby Kinney, Asajj Ventress, Nightsister Acolyte, Vlad the Impaler, Mandalore the Great, Quicksilver, Lando Calrissean, Lobot, Nien Numb, Big Benito, James Madison, Zack, and Spence in Bico's Y-1300 Light Freighter, Orange Lantern Lex Luthor, Indigo Lantern Ray Palmer (Atom), Super Duper Man, Super Mouse, Even Piel in a Jedi V-Wing, Mimic, Captain America, Mighty Mouse, Sarumon, Dumbledore, Harambe (w/ big bottle rocket)., Depa Billaba & R.O.B. the Robot in a Naboo Starfighter, Jared Nomack, Blue Toad, Yellow Toad, and Fire Bender #5.

Crack Danks: Godzilla w/ Red Lantern Ring, The Eradicator, Juggernaut, Zeus, Toph Beifong, Grey Worm w/ Indigo Lantern Ring (-4), Chuck Norris, Mace Windu w/blue lantern ring, Onslaught w/Star Sapphire Ring (-4), Ares, Prometheus, Sky Lynx, Colossus , Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michaelangelo (TMNT), Freddy Krueger, Falcon Coon and Friends, The Coon, Human Kite, Fast Pass, Mosquito, Super Craig, and captain diabetes, 3 Musketeers d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, Aramis, and Flying Monkeys 6-9

Be Gentle It's My First Time Vs. TEAM

 Be Gentle It's My Third Time is Darkseid, Zilla, Superboy, Gamera, Kratos, The Hero Of Typhon, Darth Gaen, Darth Vitate, Whis, Elaine Belloc, Kratos & Atreus, Evil Wolf #1-5, Dark Trooper #1-5, Beerus:  god of Destruction, Elf #1-8, & The Z-Fighters:  Krillin,Tien, Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiaotzu, Yajirobe, & Bulma.

TEAM is Galactus w/ Nova, Morg, Superboy, Unicron, Primus, Thor, Thanos (w/ The Power, Soul, Space, & Reality stones), Ultra Magnus, Black Lantern Magneto, Brightburn, Nekron, Bashar Miles Teg, Wolverine, Muhamed Ali, Hammer Bros. #6-9, Mandalorian Clan Leader Adam Hernandez w/ Mandalorian Kate, Mandalorian Foundling Jackson, & Mandalorian Eric Gilson, Josh (w/ a green lantern ring), Alex (w/ an air bending staff), Chris (w/ Loki's Sceptre), Kyle (w/ air bending staff), Zack (w/ air bending staff), Dave (w/ Wii mote), Frank (w/ red lantern ring), Ethan (w/ Force saber), Conner (w/ Speed Ring), Ed (w/ mandalorian armor), Laya (w/ blue lantern ring), & Spence.  

What a mess.....  I can't believe how torn apart everything seems when it comes to the members of TEAM.  And I am not referring to anything to do with what the members of Be Gentle are doing to them, nor do I mean the fact that they have several world destroyers on the squad which are just as big a danger to The Play-Off Planet itself as they are to their opponent.  I'm referring to the disaster caused by Hammer Bros. #6.  You see, ever since Hammer Bros. #6 broke up with his boyfriend Ed and started dating Conner instead the whole TEAM dynamic has been totally off.  TEAMmembers feeling like they must take a side in this love triangle are having difficulty focusing on the match itself because of the ever permeating gay-love drama.  Ed has been seen with his Mandalorian helmet off, chugging vodka and tonics murmuring "this is not the way" over and over again, while Conner and Hammer Bros. #6 go for long walks on The Play-Off Planet beach by the ocean shore, just like Ed used to back when that was his man.  Despite this unending romantic issue, we will do our best to move forward and witness how this match unfolds.

Both teams played a Superboy, so before we get this started we are just going to go ahead and cancel those two out.  Both Dead.  

Elaine Belloc really wanted some soup for lunch; but she is stilled banned from her favorite soup location by its Nazi owner, so instead she has just finished up her big salad and yada-yada-yada is ready for the match.  Elaine Belloc is the chick from Seinfeld right??  Crap.  Okay, well internet says that is actually Elaine Benes.  Hmm.  Must be a typo or something.  Either way, Elaine grabs her cell phone to call up Kramer, when Wolverine stabs her through the chest with his adamantium claws.  

So many heavy hitters are in this match, that we will lay out who is boxin with whom and where the boxin is going down.  Pitched battles abound as Darkseid and Thanos throw down in the desert.  The Z-Fighters make their way into space in an attempt to take out the not yet transformed Primus.  Thor has teamed up with Galactus' Herald Nova in the forest where Kratos, Atreus, & Beerus do be scufflin with em.  The other Kratos used Spence as weapon to take out HerMando family, who made quite a mess with their blasters and flame units before they went down in the valiant fight.  The eight elves thought they were fast; but Bashar Miles Teg showed them all what fast really was as he quickly discovered their hidden woodland locations and dispatched them with relative ease.  The Hero of Typhon gets rowdy with the lightsaber, whilst dodging hammers to take out Hammer Bros. 7, 8, & 9; but before he can take out Hammer Bros. #6, his former lover Ed flies in with his Mandalorian Jetpack and rescues the Hammer Bros. he just can't quit.  Perhaps he jumped into the arms of his younger man Conner with too much haste the Hammer Bros. thinks to himself as he is held so tightly by Ed and whisked away to safety.  Very few beings in this entire universe can be the first word in a sentence that ends:  "One-shotted Zilla"; but when that being is Galactus, the sentence do happen.  Gamera bit the head off of Morg in the jungle, while Nekron and Black Lantern Magneto were taken out by Darths Vitate and Gaen, right before the metal carcass of Ultra Magnus was dropped on them from above by the now double dead Magneto.  Brightburn is flying around being quite the immature jerk, when he sees Whis standing in a rock-outcropping questioning he/him's gender.  Brightburn takes a wiz on whis from above him and then uses his Superman powers to rip him apart without ever saying that he does indeed have Superman powers so the movie makers don't get sued.   With the help of Laya's blue ring, Josh used his katana blade made of green lantern energy to mow through the five Dark Troopers Luke-hallway-scene style (word).  Frank, Ethan, & Conner are suffering bad after their battle with the five evil wolves, not because they lost; but because they ate all five of the wolves after the fight, they do be livin that food life tho and might order a Big Benito later.  

Phew....  Well, that's how the first round of this turd played out.  Let's see what those who survived did next.  

Brightburn flies in fast to help out Thanos against Darkseid; but gets hit with omega beams before he can get a hit in.  The two mad titans battle it out fiercely; but even with the Infinity Gauntlet with only a few open spots left, Thanos is still unable to take out the DC character he is a direct copy of.  Darkseid is victorious; but even in his infinite wisdom does not realize that the soul stone would take his life along with the conquered Thanos.  

Muhammed Ali is on the mic holding a press conference ripping apart his TEAMmates Conner, Ed, and Hammer Bros. #6 with a hellacious supply of gay jokes.  This is of course not in any way considered intolerant of him at all, because he is Muslim.  Wise old Dave decided to console the young Ali by letting him play with his Wii Mote and getting him sandwich without pork in it.   

Beerus destroys Nova with a mix of martial arts and cosmic power.  

The god of thunder uses some thunder to destroy the god of destruction; but Beerus wasn't Thor's only problem to face.  Thor and Kratos start wailing on each other with building leveling punches, until Thor uses his hammer to knock the god's head clean off.  Thor spins around after his victory; but is quickly avenged by the son of his victim who puts his best arrow directly through the remaining good eye and out the back of the head of the son of Odin.  

Chris, Alex, Kyle, and Zack left the party as usual to go get some Taco Bell; but they were out of product so they decided to fight the other Kratos instead of listening to the Taco Chick scream about it.  They text Julie in the group chat before using their staffs to put that smack down.  Kratos do be legit, but you already know his arms ain't long enough to box with The T.B. Crew.  They finish off Kratos and although they are tired put on Extended Edition Return of the King in Chris's basement.  

The Z-Fighters make their way into space and are doing everything they can to battle the massive Primus, who has now transformed into a truly enormous robot.  The Z-Fighters combine forces and manage to get inside the Transformer god by busting a hole in his nearly impenetrable metal side.  Once inside they combine their powers and are able to overcome the power of Primus' spark and end the life of the age old Transformer.  Now trapped inside the cavernous metal corpse of Primus their victory is short-lived as Krillin, Tien, Shinhan, Yamcha, Chiatzu, Yajirobe, & Bulma are consumed as Unicron seeks both revenge and power as he crushes the now dead Cybertronian Metal body of his brother consuming it and The Z-Fighters inside.  

The Hero of Typhon has a vision of the future and realizes how dire it truly is.  He puts himself in a Force trance knowing that his squad's only chance of victory is to awaken the power of The Play-Off Planet itself; so as to poison Galactus when he inevitably attempts to consume it taking out every person, plant, and thing on it, including both of these teams.  The Jedi is not quite sure how this will be done; but he does know in his heart that the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of The Force.  And if The Force wills it, then it will be done.  

Strangely enough, when the Hero of Typhon Jedi has this vision and makes this decision.  The nearly omnipotent Galactus has not even yet decided to consume the planet.  He instead is doing battle with Gamera who manages to damage Galactus with his fire breath; but Galactus becomes enraged by this very rare bit of physical pain triggered by the giant turtle and friend to all children.  Galactus absorbs the next blast of fire breath and then destroys Gamera.  Galactus then loses control and at this moment decides that he must possess all the power the Play-Off Planet contains, beginning the process of eating the Planet, just as The Hero of Typhon had seen in his vision.   

Unicron begins sends out a booming message across space to let his TEAMmates know they must return to him as he foresees that even he cannot control Galactus in his mission to destroy all.  As they attempt to regroup Atreus shows up and puts an arrow into the chest of Miles Teg, but is then relieved of his head by Wolverine.  Wolvie and Muhammed Ali meet up, but are clueless as to how to get off planet.  Several of the TEAMmates are still not accounted for.  The destruction of this planet can be felt as Ed and his ex-boyfriend Hammer Bros. #6 show up at the exact same time as Conner (how awkward).  The last few seconds of the planet's existence begin to count away.  Ed and Conner meet with a gaze as they reach out and hold hands, all while both grasping a hand of Hammer Bros. #6. Conner uses his Speed Ring to cast the Egress Spell and safely vanishes the five of them off The dying Play-Off Planet.

Wolverine looks over at the hand-holding trio, then looks over to Ali saying:  "That sure was a queer match".

Ali responds:  "You ain't tellin me nuthin.  They sure are some":

-F-antastically

-A-wesome

-G-uys

-S-on

Week 5: Popeye's vs Dinomites

Its current year, and both of these fantasy teams recognize the strong, independent nature of women. It is quiet on the playoff planet, both teams appear to be late to the battle. While the men lag behind, the vagina having members have scurried to the front lines where they can flex their empowerment on each other.

Bastila Shan, She-Ra, Swift Wind, The Sorceress, and Teela square off against Wonder Woman, Wonder Girl, Mary Marvel, Darla Dudley, Pedro Peña(transitioning), Jessica Jones, Bib, Beb, Elasti Girl, Hermione Granger, Urbosa, Mipha, and Ahsoka Tano w/ a Star Saphirre Ring in an A-Wing.

I'll spare you the details but it is just as horrible as it sounds, lots of hair pulling, broken nails, crying, and ultimately nothing getting done. After several hours not a single death. There were a couple of false rape allegations until they realized there were no men around to blame.

Just when it seemed like nothing of note would ever happen someone resembling the Night King wearing a pink dress enters the scene and begins indiscriminately eliminating all of the females. Several members of the Dinomites cry out "That isn't fair!" but no one really cares or misses them.

Olive Oyl Slappin' Popeyes vs White Knight Dinomites

Popeyes:

Gandalf the White w/ Blue Lantern Ring, Mr. Mxyztplk, Revan Reborn, Jolee Bindu, Darth Vader w/ Yellow Lantern Ring, The Sando Aqua Monster, The Night King and two White Walkers (all 4 Deaths), Viserion, T-2 and T-1000 in German U-Boat, King Hiss, Beast Man, Blade, Man at Arms, Zodack, The Centurions (Ace McLeod, Jake Rockwell, Max Ray, John Thunder, Rex Charger), Nolan Peterson in a T-16 Skyhopper and Austin Perrison in a F-18: Sith Bros (both 4 Death)

Dinomites:

The Incredible Hulk, Agent Smith, Dr. Strange and Wong, Anakin Skywalker w/ a Yellow Lantern Ring in a B-Wing, Kingdom Come Aquaman, The Shazam Family Leftovers: Captain Marvel Jr. Eugene Choi,and C.C Batson , Nightwing, Kingdom Come Red Arrow, Power Man, Iron Fist, Bub, Bob, The Aerialbots: Silverbolt, Air Raid, Skydive, Fireflight, and Slingshot, The Doom Patrol: Mento, Robot Man, Negative Man, and Lil Beast Boy, Atrocitus, Daruk, Rivali, Link w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Master Sword, and Hylian Shield, Sandtrooper #10 on Dewback #10 

The Dinomites arrive to save their female companions but they are too late. Dr. Strange looks at all of the dead female bodies and considers what the ideal timeline was. After a few moments, he says “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. They were supposed to die during childbirth”. But he doesn’t have long to mourn the piles of roast beef before he and Wong are confronted by Mr. Mxyztplk & Gandalf. The four of them begin mumbling gibberish and waving their hands but not much is happening. After some time they all cast a spell at the same time and all four of them disappear to some other dimension.

King Hiss, Beast Man, Zodack and Blade surround The Incredible Hulk. As the four converge on him they feel a tickling on their backs. They turn to see two dragons spitting out bubbles on them. Blade slices the two dragons in half though this distraction proves deadly as the Hulk rips each of his attackers apart. He then jumps off to battle elsewhere.

The Centurions come flying in full force firing their weapons. Nightwing and Red Arrow are blown up by missiles before they can do anything. Iron Fist begins shooting up at the Centurians. He connects shots on Max Ray who is being carried by Ace McLeod. The two come crashing down near Power Man which causes their weapons to explode killing all three. The remaining Centurions converge on Iron Fist who isn’t able to withstand massive assault from their weapons. They then land to see if there is anything they can do for their fallen friends. The suddenly find themselves unable to move and see a man in the distance with a black suit and cape. Vader then uses the force to aim their weapons at each other and fires, creating a small crater where they once were.

Meanwhile, Nolan and Austin realize they are on borrowed time and decide to make maximum impact. With maneuvering that defies the laws of physics Nolan flies his T-16 straight into Superion. Superion is ok but stunned. Those in the surrounding area couldn't tell what happened. Was that a bomb? Then it became apparent what had happened as Austin flies his F-18 into Superion. While in no way should that be able to destroy Superion the jet fuel managed to melt his inner steel beams. Suddenly he implodes into the ground. That is a sight that I will never forget. Also, Sandtrooper #10 & Dewback #10, who were standing nearby also fall to the ground dead for some reason that is never explained.

Kingdom Come Aquaman was swimming around in the ocean when he was grabbed by the Sando Aqua Monster. Aquaman quickly took control of the creature before being eaten. Nearby T-1000 and T-2 observed this in their German U-Boat. Not wanting to take any chances they launch all of their torpedos taking out both Aquaman and the Sando Aqua Monster.

T2 & T-1000 dock their U-Boat on the shore and begin heading towards the other combatants. They are intercepted by Agent Smith who immediately shapeshifts into T2 in order to cause confusion. T-1000 also shapeshifts and the three T2s begin slugging it out. When the dust settles there is only one surviving T2 and two dead next to him. But which one survived? We’ll never know as he is blown away by several concussion missiles launched from Anakin’s B-wing.

Darth Vader senses the powerful Jedi and seeks him out. Anakin jumps out of his B-Wing and the two begin a lightsaber battle. What you might think would be a close battle is actually very one sided and pre-determined. As Obi-wan has said, Darth Vader kills Luke’s father and 1977 Star Wars Canon is restored.

Vader joins up with Revan and Jolee Bindu as they engage the Shazam Family and Doom Patrol. Vader exhibits mastery of the dark side as he simultaneously force chokes all of the members while the others cut through them with their lightsabers. As Revan finishes off that last one the Incredible Hulk lands on top of him crushing him into the ground. The Hulk turns and grabs Jolee Bindu who flails his lightsaber but is not able to do much before being crushed by the Hulk's fists. Vader, having sensed the Hulk moments before positioned himself behind him as the Hulk killed the others, putting him in position to drive his lightsaber through the Hulk's skull.

Link and Atrocitus arrive just in time to see their companion fall to the ground. Vader turns to smaller statured Link and moves to take him out quickly. As he swings his saber at Link he is caught off guard when it is blocked by the master sword. Link then swings the fully charged master sword and knocks Vader onto his back. Atrocitus jumps on him but Vader immediately puts his lightsaber through the chest of Atrocitus. That moment was all Link needed as he uses the master sword to decapitate Vader. Vader’s head rolls out of the helmet and looks nothing like Luke Skywalker since they aren’t related.

Link regroups with Daruk and Rivali. They approach the Night King who is standing over a battlefield of corpses he is raising from the dead. The mob of wights approaches the Hylian and his companions before they can get to the Night King. Link swings away but they are surrounded and greatly outnumbered. Rivali uses his gale to raise link over the the wights and next to the Night King while the wights devour Revali and Deruke.

Link squares off with the Night King and Viserion. Link quickly kills Viserion, I mean he is like the first boss ever that Link faced, pretty easy stuff. He then turns to the white walkers. He displays expert swordsmanship as he slices through them both. The Night King doesn't waste time and engages Link immediately. The Night Kings is quick and dodges the master sword quite easily. He catches Link off guard and knocks the Hylian shield out of Link’s hand. Link swings again and misses leaving him vulnerable for just a moment. The Night King picks up his spear and hurls it through the chest of the Hylian, who falls to the ground lifeless.

Week 5 Democracy: Striders of Rohan vs Ahsokas Acrobatic Assassins

Striders: Kingdom Come Batman, Kingdom Come Steel, Kingdom Come Green Lantern, Kingdom Come Nightstar, Kingdom Come Kid Flash, Kingdom Come Green Arrow, Father of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Granny Goodness, Bernadeth, Stompa, Gilotina, Mad Harriet, Lashina, The Eternals: Sersi, Ikaris, Gilgamesh, Druig, Thena, Ajak, Kingo, Phastos, Makarri, Sprite, Aquaman, Sinestro w/ a White Lantern Ring, Mon El, Grand Master Luke Skywalker, Darth Traya w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Pre Suit Vader w/ a Red Lantern Ring, Zufa Cenva, Norma Cenva w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Eowyn w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, Eomer, Faramir w/ a Blue Lantern Ring, T'Challa Starlord w/ a Vibranium Suit and Green Lantern Ring, and J.R.R Tolkien

Assassins are: Ranx: The Sentient City, Tornedron, Sauron, General Zod, Ursa, and Non, Kingdom Come Superman, Poseidon, Dick Grayson Batman w/ a Green Lantern Ring, Damien Wayne Robin, Black Lantern Dr. Manhatten, Legends Leia Organa-Solo, Mr Fantastic, Invisible Woman, The Thing, and Herbie, Ethan Hunt w/ an Indigo Lantern Ring, Kyle Houslander Young Jedi Knight in Kyles Starfighter, Zach Houslander Younger Jedi Knight in his Starfighter, Dunadan Ranger Kyle Houslander, Jedi Master Joe Lavine, Nightsister Kelly, and Jedi Youngling Abby in the Levine Family YT-2400, Hitler, Bill Clinton, Kimbo Slice, and Shia Lebouf

S13 W4: Be Gentle vs Little People

 Be Gentle it’s My Hundredth Time is: 

The Living Tribunal 

Darkseid with the Anti Life equation

Superboy with a green lantern ring

Elaine belloc

Orion with a green lantern ring 

Eclipso

Perpetua

Kaliback

Ultraman, 

Superwoman

Johnny Quick

Power Ring

OwlMan

Talon

Power girl

Conners Insurgent Class Star Destroyer Captained by Darth vitiate and , Crewed by 19 Forerunners, 

Poe Dameron piloting a z-95 Headhunter

Gender Neutral Little People are: 

Superman (Final death)

White lantern Yoda (w/ Dwarf Ring #5)

Cosmos

Powerglide

Skyfire

Rick (w/ red lightsaber)  & Morty (w/ fire flower)

Sith Decepticon Target Master, & Red Rumble and Blue Frenzy in a 2 Seater Y-Wing.

Alf (F.D.) & Dr. Tony Fauci (w/ Rainbow Pride Lightsaber) in a 2 seater Y-Wing

Darth Maul (w/ orange lantern ring and dark saber) in Stealth X-Wing

Lando Calrissean, Lobot, Nien Numb, Big Benito, Harambe, & Gurney Halleck in The Outlaw

Star Wolf in Josh's A-Wing

Slippy Toad in Arwing

Star Destroyer (w/ Magneto, Soundblaster w/ Decepticon Cassette #1-3, Allicon #2-5)

Deep Space Nine (w/ Black Lantern Green Lantern (FD), Mighty Mouse, Hecate (Dune), Air Zonk w/ Power Dump and Astra, Asajj Ventress)

Yo Jazzy Jeff. Throw me a beat.

 

Now, this is a story all about how

Alf likes to eat furry things that go “meow”.

And I'd like to take a minute

Just sing this tune

I'll tell you how I watched a fight on a place called the Moon.

 

On Krypton, Superman born and raised

Fighting Living Tribunal is how he spent his final day.

Superboy and Darkseid came to get some

But Magneto and Yoda put an end to their fun.

Then a couple of ships that were up in the sky

Crashed and exploded, everybody died.

Morty got in one little fight and used his portal gun

To send half the teams to the surface of the sun. 

 

Rick whistled for a cab and The Outlaw came near

Lando in the front and Gurney in the rear.

I know what you’re thinking, “please end this match soon!”

So yeah, let’s do it  "To the surface of The Moon!"

 

There’s wasn’t many left, about seven or eight

When Orion struck last and yelled, "Smell ya later"

The Gentles unzipped their pants

And hung dong for the dead

“Dick’s out for Harambe!” they all said

Two Hungry Striders with Rohan Down Tight Vs. The Crack Dankin Empire

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Kingdom Come Dr. Fate, Link (w/ green lantern ring), Desaad, Kingdom Come Flash (w/ blue lantern ring), Jay Garrick (w/ green lantern ring), Anakin Skywalker (w/ yellow lantern ring) in an X-Wing, Ahsoka Tano (w/ star sapphire) in a Y-Wing, Kingdom Come Power Woman, Axe Cop (w/ red lantern ring) on Wexler, The Aeriolbots:  Silverbolt, Air Raid, Skydive, Fireflight, & Slingshot, The Technibots:  Scattershot, Strafe, Lightspeed, Afterburner, & Nosecone, Atrocitus, Flute Cop, Uni-Baby, Grey Diamond, Best Fairy Ever, & Batwarthogman in Sky Runner, Aurra Sing in a TIE Bomber, & Bossk in a TIE Fighter.

The Striders of Rohan are Odin (w/ a White Lantern Ring), Hellas, Sinestro, Mon El, Kingdom Come Batman, Kingdom Come Steel, Kingdom Come Green Lantern, Kingdom Come Kid Flash, Nightstar, Kingdom Come Green Arrow, The Father, Son, & Daughter of Mortis, Wedge Antilles in Kyle's Sith Fighter, Biggs Darklighter in a B-Wing, Cassian Andor, K-2SO, and IG-Bounty Hunter in the Millennium Chowder, Chromia, Dion, Grapple, Trail Breaker, T'Challa Starlord, Cybertronian Guardian1A-1B, Zombie Cybertronian Guardian, & Black Lantern Cybertronian Guardian.

The Empire is Supergirl, Samus, Capt. Marvel, Abeloth, Dark Supergirl, Capt. Pike in a TIE Interceptor, Miss Martian, Orion, Starfire, Tomar Tu, Queen Alien, Princess Leia in a Z-95 Headhunter, The Insecticons:  Bombshell, Kickback, & Shrapnell, Capt. Steven Hiller in a TIE Bomber, Lazarus Long, Savitar, Blue Beetle, Adam Strange, The Inquisitor, Baby Wolverine, & Bene Gesserit Reverend Mother #2-3, Droid Federation Trade Ship, The Arc, & Firespray 31.

Crack Danks are Beowolf, Xeres, Sky Lynx, Tommy Oliver, Zeus, Lord Zed, Rita Repulsa, Chuck Norris (w/ a Castlevania Whip), Jolee Fishdo in an Arc Fighter, Mace Windu in an Arc Fighter, Qui Gon Jinn, Thunderstrike, The Silverhawks in Marage, Reboot Morpheus in a X-Wing, The Chicken (w/ a Force Saber) in a TIE Fighter, Thinking Machine #5-8, Sardakaur #4-7 in a Sith Fighter, & 2 A-Wings.

The Kingdom Come crews have put aside their differences and decided to fight side by side once more as The Dino-Mites and Striders join together to battle against the evil Thinking Machine Empire blocking the Trade Route to the Moon.  I Joshatu the Just have spoken with the top minds at NASA and have secured a spot at the International Space Station to have a perfect view of the battle about to transpire.  This double match will certainly be an epic moment in FFL History, not to mention a literary masterpiece considering that I:  Joshatu am directly involved in placing this freshly commenced, monumental battle into written form.  You shall all be lucky witnesses to the mastery of the English Language and scientific knowledge I am about to share with you.  We shall begin after this short break, so I may have time to prepare as I never go into a Watching Session without the perfect and proper amount of research.

.................................................

HaHaHa!!!!!!  Sup Ladies it's ya boi Pogo here!!  I just locked that turd Joshatu the Stuffy in the bathroom when he went in to take a dump.  I almost feel sorry the guy to tell you the truth.  He may act like his crap don't stink; but trust me.  It do.  Since Joshatu the Poopie doesn't let me Watch matches anymore, I just had to get in here and get at least one good one in this year.  So let's jump right in and Watch this turd before the boss figures out how to pick a lock.  

I don't know what he was talking about with the International Space Station.  We all know that is just more NASA lies and that going to the Moon isn't even possible.  So we are gonna get real woke here and find out what the Moon really is while I broadcast LIVE from The Flat Earth.  So, anyways; these teams is going nuts out here.  The Moon, which isn't even as old as some of these dudes in this match according to all the ancient texts they don't tell you about in school is rattling about and flickering wildly like the artificial light that it probably is, as these four teams get Hella-Rowdy.  Anakin Skywalker, who is beefing with his padawan Ahsoka ever since he got a yellow lantern ring and started being all mean and stuff leads the stunt fighter attack for The Stridermites.  Wedge and Biggs don't care that he is kind of a jerk they just appreciate those sick skills in an X-Wing Cockpit.  Anakin's daughter that he never even got visitation for is leading the fighter pilots along with Capt. Pike for the other combined team; but that is mostly an afterthought because Skywalker and the boys are mostly focused on the three big old fleet ships that The Empire has floating out there next to the big block of cheese.  They are not even letting the aliens land on the dark side of the Moon, or The United States government get access to the advanced Moon base that they have had set up since the 1950s after they got all that cool tech from the Roswell crash that was totally space aliens and not Nazi technology that is still being tested out in the secret bases on Antarctica.  Sorry for all the basic information.  I'll get back to the match now for all you normies who still think a group of sweaty white dudes in short sleeve dress shirts flew a hunk of metal to a Moon Rock in the 1960s with the help of a room full of sUpEr cOmPuTeRs that had about enough computing power to download Twitter.  

  Xeres and Beowolf, in their monstrous space-mech forms diverge from the fighter jet groups and blast holes through Grapple and Dion, while T'Challa Starlorad manages to sneak into the cockpit of Reboot Morpheus' X-Wing where they both die from virtue signalling woke politics that their parent companies have been spewing via their public platforms.  

The spaceship trio of The Trade Federation Ship, The Arc, & The Firespray have all docked together and led by Lazarus Long, Blue Beetle, and Adam Strange have begun firing, first taking out The Sky-Runner and all of Axe Cop's homies.  You know that is gonna make Axe Cop mad later; but we aren't to that part of the match yet (spoiler alert on the foreshadowing).  KC Flash orders the Aerialbots and Technibots to combine to form Superion and Computron; but then gets in a fight with Savitar.  It isn't much of a fight actually, because as soon as they touch they just disappear into thin air like the real science shows us would happen in Time Cop with Jean Claude Van (Damm that movie was good).  And then Jay Garrick, who is old looks at Kid Flash, who is also old now and is like "WHAT"??  And Adult Kid Flash looks back at him and is all like "WHAT"?!!?  And then they both get hit in the face by Thunderstrike's hammer.  Qui Gonn is just floating around in space, because he isn't a good pilot and doesn't have a ship anyway; which makes it really easy for Odin to mess him up on the way to wrecking the four Omnius powered thinking machines, while Zeus wrecks Chromia and Trailbreaker while passing by K-2SO, Cassian, and The IG-Bounty Hunter, hitting them with a quick lightning bolt, while chuckling because they are trying to fly through space in a 1988 Dodge Daytona.  Zeus and Odin then get in a knock down drag em out battle that has every Norse and Greek enthusiast on their toes; but we will get back to that later.  

Lord Zed and Rita use their powers to grow each other into massive giants and spend their last life battling it out with the Cybertronian Guardian crew.  The Power Ranger Villains manage to take out the massive Transformer Giants; but then get taken out themselves by the combined forces of Sinestro and Hellas.  The Mortis Family meets back up with their estranged wife/mother Abeloth which would be a major mismatch in space if some scientism normie was writing this piece of crap; but since we know that the Moon is totally within the firmament of the earth the Father, Son, and Daughter are flying around fine in their weird bird forms.  What really sucks though is that Beowolf in his final life has finally lost his mind and become brain damaged, going straight R-Tard like an acoustic Geetar.  Dr. Fate sees this tragedy coming and tries to intervene; but it just ends with Beowolf crashing into all of them with his lasguns fully armed causing an atomic blast that was so loud and scary that it made Jolee Fishdo poop himself to death in such a grotesque fashion that The Inquisitor died from the smell, and Aurra Sing died from complaining about the smell proving that hot chicks really can die from the very act of dude feces.  

Steven Hiller flies over to Tommy Oliver and slaps da S@#t out him after Tommy made fun of his skank wife; but nothing comes of that battle because it was fake.  Hiller then flies back to take on a defensive posture in his TIE Bomber which he had never flown before; but is an expert at flying because he "saw them in action".  Him and his fellow pilots see that an attack on the massive, combined space base is about to come under full blown, nothing to lose space battle attack on the base just like at the end of A New Hope, or was it Return of the Jedi, or The Force Awakens, err Independence Day,  Transformers.....  Maybe more like Rise of Skywalker.  Oh wait, I know it was all of them.  Anakin of course leads this attack where lasers and intense special effects abound; but they also have the two Gestalts Superion and Computron pounding on the combined trio of ships with some good old fashioned brute force.  

In the meantime, while the classic movie end scene takes place.  Power Woman punched a hole through the chest of Orion; but then got taken out by the Regular and Dark version of Supergirl, which is just two different versions of her from Earth 1, which is weird because usually first is the worst and second is the best.  Luckily Ultragirl isn't here because she is from Earth 3 and is probably a nerd (I have no idea if anyone is understanding that joke other than me).  

Biggs gets shot down by Steven Hiller, because that is what Biggs does best but his bro Wedge avenges him and takes out the Marine pilot.  Axe Cop chops off Tomar Tu's head, while Wexler bites the Queen Alien in half; but isn't even affected by her concentrated acid for blood cuz 4 death luv is real.  Thunderstrike isn't as good as Thor for unspecified reasons, just like Mon El isn't as good as Superman for unspecified reasons.  They both start fighting each other; but I closed my eyes and didn't see how they both died because I didn't want to have to report on it and hear all of the triggered Marvel and DC fans on the internet tell me how wrong I am.  

Blue Beetle got stepped on.  

Tommy Oliver stabs Green Arrow with his emerald flute knife and then uses it to summon the Dragon Zord who destroys Steel; but the Dragon Zord's reign of terror is cut short by Batman because he had prep time.  Normally Samus would lose a battle to Link because Samus is cool; but Link is cooler.  But, this match is in space; so I gots to give that edge to Samus.  I know Link got that green lantern ring; but lasers bruh, lasers.  Speaking of lasers, Starfire uses her eye lasers to blow up Desaad and then gets killed by her own daughter Nightfire; cuz Fantasy Fantasy don't even care about them familial relations.  The Kingdom Come version of Batman then comes to the aid of Nightstar who has just blown up Mace Windu's ship.  Mace manages to pop his purple lightsaber and take off Nightstar's head, before the secondary explosion takes him out.  Batman gets away from all the blowing up of things; but then dies of old age, because the Kingdom Come timeline doesn't really make sense.  

Sinestro gets hungry and eats The Chicken, along with his Force Saber.  

Capt. Marvel headbutts Atrocitus into oblivion on her way to punching the face off of Wexler.  Now Axe Cop is really pissed.  He uses his red lantern infused axe to CHOP HER HEAD OFF.  Then does the same to Samus.  Girls are dumb.  

The Insecticons are deployed as a counter-measure to the aerial attack and take out Ahsoka because even Anakin knows she is a crappy pilot.  The spaceship dogfight really gets heated as all three Insecticons are taken out by Anakin and Wedge.  These two ace pilots go on to take out Pike, Leia, and the Sardakaur, but without their air support, Lazarus Long uses some brilliant tactical and military strategy to deploy Cybertronian missiles from The Arc which know exactly where to hit Superion and Computron to extinguish their unified sparks.  Leia hits Bossk's TIE Fighter with a proton torpedo right before her demise (had to add this sentence later, because I forgot about Bossk).  

Odin, with the help of his White Lantern Ring takes out Zeus, right before his daughter Hellas shows up to help; but Chuck Norris pops on to the scene sporting the red, white, and blue with a well worn Mike Huckabee hat covering his beautiful locks of ginger.  Good Ol' Chaz Norris takes off the heads Odin and Hellas with a single roundhouse kick cuz we ain't even bout to have that pagan crap on Palm Sunday up in my match.  

God.

Murica.

Norris.

Anakin and Wedge enlist the help of Sinestro and Green Lantern to finally blow up the Arc/Firespray/Federation Ship from the inside like they always do, taking out the Bene Gesserits, Adam Strange, Miss Martian, and even the very long lived Lazarus Long.   Anakin's ship was damaged in the attack, causing him to eject and jump on top of Wedge's ship, lightsaber a blazin, where their bromance continued.  Wedge was able to finally shoot down Xeres and send him to the Graveyard, right as Anakin was relieving Tommy Oliver of his head.  

Girls are definitely dumb according to Axe Cop; but he is not able to win out, once he is confronted with both Supergirl and Dark Supergirl.  Dark Supergirl doesn't make it out of the fight with her head still attached; but real Supergirl finishes off the ultimate killer of bad guys.  

 

Then I was like CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am almost done with this match and didn't even talk about my boys the Silverhawks and Sky Lynx.  Literally some of my favorite characters ever.  How often does one get to write about the most bippin characters from a long forgotten boomer childhood from the epic 80s.  And I don't even have enough characters left for them to kill so I can make them look awesome.  So.......  Instead, just take it from me.  They're awesome.  Colonel Blue Grass totally makes the Silverhawks eject from the Marage and they start flying right next to Sky Lynx while some wicked stellar 80s music starts playing.  They then go on to do a bunch of super awesome stuff.  And don't think that just started.  Cuz these dudes been doin super awesome stuff the whole match.  I just wasn't talking about it because I was distracted.  The Sky Lynx and Silverhawks duo mow through Sinestro and Alan-Scott-Kingdom-Come-Sentinel-Green-Lantern-longest-title-ever-character with a plethora of lasers and superbad flying techniques.  They then muster up enough 80s laser power to blast apart Supergirl who is kind of on their team; but not really on their team.  You see, this is okay because I know Adam will never read this match; so I don't need to worry about someone complaining that arguably the most powerful character in this match died in such a stupid way.  Sky Lynx and The Silverhawks, including Colonel Bluegrass and the Marage do finally meet their demise.  Not only from the might of Supergirl, Anakin Skywalker, and the damage sustained from the energy of the green and yellow lantern they battled; but from the ushering in (**Okay...  Start reading this part really whimsically with great emotion) of a cold era of technology that has destroyed the simpler times when kids could enjoy true greatness and fun like the 80s cartoons gave us....  In other words, you could just say they drowned in the tears of old farts like me that have to insist their generation was so much better than the current one.  

As Wedge's Sith Fighter blows up in the fiery end battle, Anakin leaps from the burning wreckage, free-falling through space because gravity doesn't exist here or there like the NASA Globetards tell us it does; but is unable to connect with the swing of his lightsaber before Chuck Norris kicks through the Jedi's stomach.  Chuck Norris then lands perfectly in a bed of space flowers, while Baby Wolverine falls onto his lap in an adorable and loving manner.

"When I grow up, I am going to be as awesome as you" says Baby Wolverine to Chuck.

"No you aren't" replies Norris.   

Week 4 Consortium Match: Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins vs CHAZ Bawkleys Turrible Decisions

Assassins: Ranx: The Sentient City, Set, Kingdom Come Superman, The Monitor w/ White Lantern Ring, Blue Marvel, Hyperion (4 death) , Sentry (4 death), Dormamu, John Stewart w/ Green and Blue Lantern Rings, Ronan the Accusar, Uruk Hai #10-12 (all 4 death)

Barkleys: The Anti-Monitor, Gauntlet Ultron, Cyborg Superman, Jade, Ganthet and Sayd, Ant Man and Wasp, Recoome, Burter, Jeice, Guldo, and Captain Ginyu, Lady Dimetrescu, Agatha Harkness, Nazgul #5, Deadpool, Blue Beetle in a TIE Fighter, Iron Patriot, Nick Fury w/Red Lantern Ring, Ludwig Von Koopa w/White Lantern Ring, Shield Agent #4 (last life) in The Poopmobile