"I'm an artist, torture is a prerequisite.”
-Dawson Leery
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 4 Match located in Jurassic Park. They are as follows:
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets: Robert Muldoon in The Modern Age Batmobile (The Tumbler), White Lantern Hal Jordan, Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki, Yellow Ring Guy Gardner (with Alan Scott's Green Lantern Ring and a Red Lantern Ring), Star Sapphire #4, Meriadoc Brandybuck (with Blue Lantern Ring), Larfleeze (with Count Dooku's Red Lightsaber), Indigo Lantern #2, Joey, Pacey, Dawson (He has 9 deaths), The Phoenix Force, Nosyarg Kcid (a/k/a Larry), Katma Tui, Superboy (Clark Kent), Pythona (with Asaaj Ventess' red lightsabers), Gwildor (with a Proton Pack), Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki, and Ewoks #41 and 42.
George Washington's Slaves: Cassandra Nova with Demon Rod, Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Zilius Zox, Runner, Shindor of Brontic, Sly Moore, Bender B. Rodriguez with flamethrower, John Connor with Ki Adi Mundi's Blue Lightsaber and Green Lightsaber, Simon Phoenix with M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher, Bill Rieser, Lance Bean, Wildabeest, Warlock, Elongated Man, Crimmell with red lightsaber and Sunspot.
Let the battle begin...
I look down upon the lush jungles of Jurassic Park and hear the singing of one Dawson Leery.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
Dawson is joined by Pacey, Joey and Gwildor on a hovercraft. The hovercraft flies over the ground, not a focus of any Slave member due to the lack of participant strength.
Wildabeest scans the battleground and notices Ewoks #41 and 42 rummaging through the weeds. As he is about to destroy the cuddly aliens, he notices Bender B. Rodriguez and Sly Moore in the bushes immediately in front of the two creatures.
Moore: Fry them!
Bender: I don't tell you how to tell me what to do, so don't tell me how to do what you tell me to do!
Moore: Just shut your mouth and do it!
Bender jumps out of the bushes and startles Ewoks #41 and 42. Before they can avoid their nemesis, Bender uses his flamethrower to scorch the two furballs. Ewoks #41 and 42 scream and run through the forest, igniting pieces of shrubbery along the way. They eventually strike two trees, fall to the ground and die. Superboy flies to the scene and immediately puts his hand through the face of the Umbaran. Sly Moore falls to the ground, dead. Bender triggers his flamethrower again to no avail and Superboy simply shrugs off the heat.
Superboy: Let’s see if your namesake is true.
Superboy uses his strength to tear, rip and cleave Bender apart; never once did the Kryptonian actually “bend” the Futurama robot. Superboy, having destroyed Bender, flies away.
Hammer Bros. Shaun Poteracki (hereinafter “HBSP”) rushes at the New Mutants, Warlock and Sunspot. Poteracki manages to throw a hammer at Sunspot, catching him in the head. Sunspot, although not killed, falls. Warlock in retaliation for his comrade’s injury, infects HBSP with the
alien virus technology flowing through his system. HBSP becomes discombobulated and begins to throw hammers in all directions for no particular reason. Sunspot rises and exacts revenge by
projecting a concussive blast that rips HBSP apart.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: She had two babies. One was six months, one was three,
Inthe war of '44;
Every telephone ring, every heartbeat stinging,
When she thought it was God calling her.
Oh would her son grow to know his father?
Meanwhile below, the Batmobile races through the paths of Jurassic Park, driven by Robert Muldoon. Simon Phoenix points his M202A1 Flash rocket launcher at the vehicle. The first rocket explodes and only nearly misses the Batmobile. As Muldoon is about to utilize the vehicle’s weaponry, a rocket explodes in front of the Batmobile. The crater caused as a result of the blast captures the Batmobile. The game warden is stuck. John Connor pounces on the vehicle and uses his lightsaber to cut away the top. Before Muldoon can find his weapon, he is struck down by Connor. Both Phoenix and Connor are set upon by Katma Tui, Star Sapphire #4 and Indigo Lantern #2. Connor puts up a fight, Phoenix less so, but the result is no different, the two Slaves are killed by the lantern force.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Pythona wields her two lightsabers against Crimmel. Eventually, the Cheveldae/Trammel clone, which for all practical purposes is a useless and embarrassing character, is killed by Pythona. Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao come to the scene. Pythona is no match for the two Jedi warriors and is killed in only a matter of seconds.
As Dawson finishes the chorus to his theme song, he fails to notice the Elongated Man stretching across the trees, forming a trampoline-like mesh in front of him. As the hovercraft is about to crash, the Phoenix Force comes to the rescue and burns Elongated Man to cinders. The hovercraft flies through the charred remains of Elongated Man.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: He showed up all wet on the rainy front step,
Wearing shrapnel in his skin,
And the war he saw lives inside him still;
It's so hard to be gentle and warm,
The years pass by and now he has granddaughters.
Kol Skywalker and Shado Vao battle Black Lantern Shaun Poteracki and Meriadoc Brandybuck, who wields a Blue Lantern ring. The battle between the Force wielders and ring bearers is spectacular. By using a combination of the Force and their lightsabers, BL Poteracki falls and turns to ash. Brandybuck is lucky and actually kills Vao, but Skywalker exacts a “return”, never “revenge” and kills Brandybuck.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?
Yellow Ring Guy Gardner and Larfleeze join the fray and attack Kol Skywalker. Larfleeze wields both his ring and Count Dooku's red lightsaber, while Gardner uses not only his yellow, but Alan Scott’s green and a red lantern ring. As Skywalker is about to be killed by the superior Midget force, Luke’s descendent is joined by Zilius Zox and Shindor of Brontic. Zox falls to Larfleeze, who is, in turn, killed by Brontic and Skywalker. Gardner flies for reinforcements to battle the Jedi-Sith combination. Gardner comes back with the Phoenix Force. Although the fight takes longer than expected due to the ferocity of both Brontic and Skywalker, the two fall to the Phoenix Force-Gardner combo. The two then rise to the sky and join their other flying teammates.
Onboard the hovercraft, Dawson continues to sing.
Dawson: You look at me from across the room,
You're wearing your anguish again ;
Believe me I know the feeling,
It sucks you into the jaws of anger.
So breathe a little more deeply my love,
All we have is this very moment;
And I don't want to do what his father,
and his father, and his father did,
Iwant to be here now.
The hovercraft dwellers do not see the Contra duo of Bill Rieser and Lance Bean beneath them. With two perfect shots, Rieser takes out Pacey and Bean takes out Joey. Before the two can fire upon Dawson, Gwildor grabs Dawson.
Gwildor: You will not die today, Dawson!
Gwildor uses the Cosmic Key to transport them away from the hovercraft which then smashes into the ground, killing both Rieser and Bean who were in its path.
In the sky, White Lantern Hal Jordan leads Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2 and Katma Tui against Cassandra Nova and Wildabeest and Sunspot, who are riding on a Warolock-hovercraft-like vehicle.
Gwildor and Dawson are now on the ground when all of a sudden, Nosyarg Kcid (“Larry”) pops up. Dawson is seen shedding a tear for his fallen Creek comrades.
Nosyarg Kcid: I’m a huge fan Dawson!!! I can fix this! I can fix this!
Gwildor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Although Larry attempts to assist his teammate and warp reality, he just does not get it quite right. In the next instant, all eyes are on both the Phoenix Force and Runner. Their essences mesh and the lethal combination of universal forces overload and cause a cataclysmic blast that destroys all in its path, being WL Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, Superboy, Star Sapphire #4, Indigo Lantern #2, Katma Tui, Cassandra Nova, Wildabeest, Sunspot and Warlock perish.
Larry, Gwildor and Dawson look to the sky in utter horror at the events which have befallen their teammates.
Larry: Did I cause that?!?
Gwildor: I. . . think. . . you. . . did.
Dawson: Actually, I don’t think so. Although one may argue that you were an impetus for the event due to your repeated f@ck-ups, if I am truly correct in my assumptions, the primordial forces of the two teams attracted one another and subsequently merged due to their natures in an ultimate cosmic cataclysm. We were lucky to survive. If we were in the sky, there would be none of us left.
Gwildor and Larry look at one another. They smile and say in unison: Dawson you may finish now.
Dawson: So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I;
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the peace in every eye.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Season 5 week 4- Better Than All of You vs The Tijuana Taco Benders
Better Than All of You is:
Ric Flair w/ Blue Lightsaber
Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk
Stone Cold Steve Austin (Assistant Coach) w/ Blue Lightsaber
Red Skull (Assistant Coach) w/ Glamdring (Gandalf the White's sword)
Predator # 11 w/ Green Lightsaber
Space Godzilla
Zombie King Kong
Velociraptors # 1, 2, 3 & 4
Tyrannasaurus Rex # 17, 18, 19, & 20 (#19 w/ Dino Riders Equipment B)
Yellow Lantern # 2
Tijuana Taco Benders are:
Copper Dragons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brass Dragons 9, 10
White Lantern Swamp Thing
Kryat Dragon #4
Mon Mothma
Justice Force:
Silver Sentry w/Green Lantern Ring
Ananda
Metal Head w/2 Green Lightsabers
Chrysalis
Tsunami
Nobody
Raptarr
Nano
Green Mantle
Boomerang
"Dammit, Rick. I can't suit these damn things up" yells Tully Blanchard. "The damn T-Rex won't stay still"
"Move ya stupid son of a bitch. I'll do it" sneers BTaY's assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin who grabs the dino rider gear from the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductee and saunters over to the T-Rex with his typical BMF walk.
"Now lissen up, ya overgrown lizard. Yer gonna put on this gear. Take us out there and open a can of whoopass on them damn Teeeoowanna Taco Benders" growls Austin
"RRRROOOOOOAAAAA***" the T-Rex starts to growl when suddenly Austin kicks the dinosaur in the stomach, jumps up, and gives the mighty reptile a Stone Cold stunner knocking it out cold.
"Hurry up and get this thing ready, we got us a match to win" says Austin leaving Blanchard looking in disbelief what just transpired
"Well, Skull. How we lookin'" Stone Cold asks the Red Skull, who's hunkered over the team view screen plotting his next move
"Nicht zo great" says the Skull "Ve haf lost almost all uf our dinozaurs, but taken out ze Justice Force, except zat flying turkey Raptarr. I vas most pleased ven ve felled the schwatze Silver Sentry. Zombie King Kong has done a most impressive job taking out all ze copper und one brass dragons"
"I done warned you about bein' racist, Red" warns Austin "Ya just saw me drop that dino, I got no problem whuppin' yer sorry carcass too. Plenty of whup ass to go around"
"Ja, ja. Sorry" responds the Skull "Still ve look ok, but not great. SHEISSE!! Ze Green Mantle just dropped zombie King Kong!!"
"Dammit! Where's the yella lantern!"
"He's finishing off ze last brass dragon. Zose tings talk too much." says Skull "Ah, zere. He has got him. He took his cape and ze Green Mantle has just fallen"
"Well, I ain't gonna let them have all of the fun" says Austin as his fires up his light saber "Telly, meet me out there. It's go time."
Austin teleports to the battlefield and runs into the fracas, cutting down Mon Mothma before she can process what's happening.
"'Bout time ya showed Steve" grins Ric Flair as he uses fires his Sith lavarouk and blasts the wings off of Raptarr, who crashes to the ground and is torn to bits by the two remaining Raptors. Their feast is short lived though, as suddenly vines encase the two and squeeze them to death.
"What the hell?" asks Stone Cold as the vines begins to appear by him and the Nature Boy. Steve begins furiously hacking away at the plants.
"Steve, we got big problems, baby. WHoooo" says Flair, who is quickly becoming encased in vegetation.
"Austin" booms the voice of the Skull. "It's zat Schwamp Ting. He is using the island againt you. I haf dispatched Blanchard to stop him, but he needz back op"
"We got our own problems" responds Austin. still hacking "We just lost Flair."
"I'm fine baby" says Flair "I'm just a little tied up is all, maybe a bit outta breath. Can't really move"
"Dumkoffs." yells the Skull "Must I do everything? yells the Skull, who teleports in with Glamdring and assists Stone Cold in cutting back the assault.
Suddenly, the attack stops.
"Comeon. We gotta free Flair" says Austin
"Leave me for a sec, brother." replies the Nature Boy "I think I hear the radio. You can free me after we finish bending these Taco Benders. WWWhhhOOOOoooOOOO!!!"
"uys. I....ot.....Thing...he....ot..ff' crackles the radio
"What?" says Stone Cold.
"He said 'Guys I got Swamp Thing but he got a shot off' " says a mysterious voice. "At least he tried to before I killed him.
"Nein" says the Skull "You're dead . SAW YOU DIE!!!!"
"Maybe" replies Silver Sentry "But you forgot. We have our own white power. Now, how about we finish this?"
"Hah. You are out numbered?" sneers the Skull "You haf no cha" Skull is cut off as a giant green hand pops his head like a zit.
"You want some?" says Stone Cold as he tosses aside his lightsaber "Come on, son. But no weapons"
"Just the way I like it" replies The Sentry "who flicks his green ring off to the side
the two rush at each other and a legendary battle begins. Each man dishing out punishment, and receiving some in turn. Austin thinks he hears a scream, but can hardly be sure. Then Sentry throws Austin into a tree, when all of a sudden there's an unmistakable huge roar
"Bout damn time" says Stone Cold as Space Godzilla appears
Silver Sentry looks on in shock as the mighty beat opens it's mouth to incinerate him
"Nothin' personal, Sentry" says Austin as he grabs his lightsaber "Yer a good kid, but this team ain't called "Fair Fighting Nice Guys". We're 'Better Than All of You' "
As Silver Sentry is engulfed in flames, Austin cracks open a couple of Stevewiesers. Unaware, that there was still one Taco Bender lying in wait. The Kryat dragon is about to pounce, when Austin turns and whips a beer can at the beast hitting it in the face
"You made me waste beer ya bastard" sneers Austin who furiously jumps on the beast, gives it a double bird, and stabs it right through the skull-killing it.
"OH HELL YEAH" says Austin, who saunters over to his cooler and begins a giant, beer fueled celebration. Then he looks closely at the beasts jaws. There's blood all over the Kryat's mouth and Austin thinks he sees something sparkling. He pries open the dead dragons mouth, when a hand falls out, holding up four fingers in an unmistakable sign with WWE Hall of Fame rings on two of the fingers .
"Damn, Ric. The sumbitch got ya" murmers Austin. He picks up the hand, holds it and a beer and says "Here's to ya, Naitch. Whoooo!" and solemly toasts the fallen horseman.
Ric Flair w/ Blue Lightsaber
Tully Blanchard w/ Sith Lavarouk
Stone Cold Steve Austin (Assistant Coach) w/ Blue Lightsaber
Red Skull (Assistant Coach) w/ Glamdring (Gandalf the White's sword)
Predator # 11 w/ Green Lightsaber
Space Godzilla
Zombie King Kong
Velociraptors # 1, 2, 3 & 4
Tyrannasaurus Rex # 17, 18, 19, & 20 (#19 w/ Dino Riders Equipment B)
Yellow Lantern # 2
Tijuana Taco Benders are:
Copper Dragons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Brass Dragons 9, 10
White Lantern Swamp Thing
Kryat Dragon #4
Mon Mothma
Justice Force:
Silver Sentry w/Green Lantern Ring
Ananda
Metal Head w/2 Green Lightsabers
Chrysalis
Tsunami
Nobody
Raptarr
Nano
Green Mantle
Boomerang
"Dammit, Rick. I can't suit these damn things up" yells Tully Blanchard. "The damn T-Rex won't stay still"
"Move ya stupid son of a bitch. I'll do it" sneers BTaY's assistant coach "Stone Cold" Steve Austin who grabs the dino rider gear from the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame inductee and saunters over to the T-Rex with his typical BMF walk.
"Now lissen up, ya overgrown lizard. Yer gonna put on this gear. Take us out there and open a can of whoopass on them damn Teeeoowanna Taco Benders" growls Austin
"RRRROOOOOOAAAAA***" the T-Rex starts to growl when suddenly Austin kicks the dinosaur in the stomach, jumps up, and gives the mighty reptile a Stone Cold stunner knocking it out cold.
"Hurry up and get this thing ready, we got us a match to win" says Austin leaving Blanchard looking in disbelief what just transpired
"Well, Skull. How we lookin'" Stone Cold asks the Red Skull, who's hunkered over the team view screen plotting his next move
"Nicht zo great" says the Skull "Ve haf lost almost all uf our dinozaurs, but taken out ze Justice Force, except zat flying turkey Raptarr. I vas most pleased ven ve felled the schwatze Silver Sentry. Zombie King Kong has done a most impressive job taking out all ze copper und one brass dragons"
"I done warned you about bein' racist, Red" warns Austin "Ya just saw me drop that dino, I got no problem whuppin' yer sorry carcass too. Plenty of whup ass to go around"
"Ja, ja. Sorry" responds the Skull "Still ve look ok, but not great. SHEISSE!! Ze Green Mantle just dropped zombie King Kong!!"
"Dammit! Where's the yella lantern!"
"He's finishing off ze last brass dragon. Zose tings talk too much." says Skull "Ah, zere. He has got him. He took his cape and ze Green Mantle has just fallen"
"Well, I ain't gonna let them have all of the fun" says Austin as his fires up his light saber "Telly, meet me out there. It's go time."
Austin teleports to the battlefield and runs into the fracas, cutting down Mon Mothma before she can process what's happening.
"'Bout time ya showed Steve" grins Ric Flair as he uses fires his Sith lavarouk and blasts the wings off of Raptarr, who crashes to the ground and is torn to bits by the two remaining Raptors. Their feast is short lived though, as suddenly vines encase the two and squeeze them to death.
"What the hell?" asks Stone Cold as the vines begins to appear by him and the Nature Boy. Steve begins furiously hacking away at the plants.
"Steve, we got big problems, baby. WHoooo" says Flair, who is quickly becoming encased in vegetation.
"Austin" booms the voice of the Skull. "It's zat Schwamp Ting. He is using the island againt you. I haf dispatched Blanchard to stop him, but he needz back op"
"We got our own problems" responds Austin. still hacking "We just lost Flair."
"I'm fine baby" says Flair "I'm just a little tied up is all, maybe a bit outta breath. Can't really move"
"Dumkoffs." yells the Skull "Must I do everything? yells the Skull, who teleports in with Glamdring and assists Stone Cold in cutting back the assault.
Suddenly, the attack stops.
"Comeon. We gotta free Flair" says Austin
"Leave me for a sec, brother." replies the Nature Boy "I think I hear the radio. You can free me after we finish bending these Taco Benders. WWWhhhOOOOoooOOOO!!!"
"uys. I....ot.....Thing...he....ot..ff' crackles the radio
"What?" says Stone Cold.
"He said 'Guys I got Swamp Thing but he got a shot off' " says a mysterious voice. "At least he tried to before I killed him.
"Nein" says the Skull "You're dead . SAW YOU DIE!!!!"
"Maybe" replies Silver Sentry "But you forgot. We have our own white power. Now, how about we finish this?"
"Hah. You are out numbered?" sneers the Skull "You haf no cha" Skull is cut off as a giant green hand pops his head like a zit.
"You want some?" says Stone Cold as he tosses aside his lightsaber "Come on, son. But no weapons"
"Just the way I like it" replies The Sentry "who flicks his green ring off to the side
the two rush at each other and a legendary battle begins. Each man dishing out punishment, and receiving some in turn. Austin thinks he hears a scream, but can hardly be sure. Then Sentry throws Austin into a tree, when all of a sudden there's an unmistakable huge roar
"Bout damn time" says Stone Cold as Space Godzilla appears
Silver Sentry looks on in shock as the mighty beat opens it's mouth to incinerate him
"Nothin' personal, Sentry" says Austin as he grabs his lightsaber "Yer a good kid, but this team ain't called "Fair Fighting Nice Guys". We're 'Better Than All of You' "
As Silver Sentry is engulfed in flames, Austin cracks open a couple of Stevewiesers. Unaware, that there was still one Taco Bender lying in wait. The Kryat dragon is about to pounce, when Austin turns and whips a beer can at the beast hitting it in the face
"You made me waste beer ya bastard" sneers Austin who furiously jumps on the beast, gives it a double bird, and stabs it right through the skull-killing it.
"OH HELL YEAH" says Austin, who saunters over to his cooler and begins a giant, beer fueled celebration. Then he looks closely at the beasts jaws. There's blood all over the Kryat's mouth and Austin thinks he sees something sparkling. He pries open the dead dragons mouth, when a hand falls out, holding up four fingers in an unmistakable sign with WWE Hall of Fame rings on two of the fingers .
"Damn, Ric. The sumbitch got ya" murmers Austin. He picks up the hand, holds it and a beer and says "Here's to ya, Naitch. Whoooo!" and solemly toasts the fallen horseman.
B3 Press Conference: The Death of Pablo
I believe you all know me. My name is Darth Vader and I am a founding member of Beckerman’s Backyardigans’ Beeyatches.
It is with great sadness that I must report the demise of one of our most beloved, yet controversial members on this team. At 4:36 a.m. this morning, an explosion was both felt and heard by numerous individuals and beasts currently lodging in B3’s main facility. From witnesses who actually saw various portions of the event, it was pieced together that the outhouse located between the compound and lake became engulfed in a raging fire and then exploded. B3 team members rushed to the scene, making sure that there were no fatalities caused by the inferno. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
At 6:09 a.m., Pablo’s body was found. Although it is early in the investigation, it appears that Pablo may have been killed after freebasing drugs with his newly awarded flamethrower. We understand that the official autopsy and toxicology reports may take several weeks before the true cause of death is derived. Notwithstanding, at the current time, there is evidence of numerous bottles, bags and spoons littering the area. The following drugs were, in fact, discovered near the body: acepromazine, amantadine, amitraz, amitryptyline, amlodipine, amoxicillin, atenolol, atipamezole, benazepril, boldenone, buprenorphine, butorphanol, carprofen, cefovecin, cephalexin, chloramphenicol, cimetidine, clamoxyquine, clavulanic acid, clenbuterol, clindamycin hydrochloride, clomipramine hydrochloride, deracoxib, dexamnethasone, diazepam, dichlorophene, enalapril, enrofloxacin, flunixin, furosemide, hydromorphone, isoxsuprine, ivermectin, ketamine, ketoprofen, lufenuron, marbofloxacin, maropitant, medetomidine, meloxicam, metoclopramide, metronidazole, mibemycin oxime, mirtazapine, neomycin, nitenpyram, nitroscanate, nystatin, ofloxacin, omeprazole, oxibendazole,
panacur, pentobarabital, phenobarbital, phenylbutazone, pimobendan, pirlmycin, ponazuril, praziquantel, prednisone, propofol, pyrantel pamoate, selamectin, sucralfate, synulox, theorphylline, thiostrepton, thiabendazole, triamcinolone acetonide, trimethoprim, trilostane and tylosin.
Although charred to an almost unrecognizable level, we also discovered a piece of paper near the remains. Through forensics, we have been able to decipher its words. It simply said: “F@CK YOU ALL!!!! NONE OF YOU IN THE FFL COULD EVER HANDLE THIS PENGUIN JUST BECAUSE I SPOKE MY MIND AND NEVER BACKED DOWN TO ANY PUNK-A$$ BEEYATCH WHO STOOD BEFORE ME!!!”
Given the circumstances of this incredibly nonsensical accident, the members of B3 are asking for your understanding during this difficult time. Nonetheless, no matter what the evidence may show, Pablo was our teammate and more importantly, our dear friend. We dedicate the remainder of the season to the little guy and will try our damndest to make him proud. We will miss him. Thank you. No questions at this time.
It is with great sadness that I must report the demise of one of our most beloved, yet controversial members on this team. At 4:36 a.m. this morning, an explosion was both felt and heard by numerous individuals and beasts currently lodging in B3’s main facility. From witnesses who actually saw various portions of the event, it was pieced together that the outhouse located between the compound and lake became engulfed in a raging fire and then exploded. B3 team members rushed to the scene, making sure that there were no fatalities caused by the inferno. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
At 6:09 a.m., Pablo’s body was found. Although it is early in the investigation, it appears that Pablo may have been killed after freebasing drugs with his newly awarded flamethrower. We understand that the official autopsy and toxicology reports may take several weeks before the true cause of death is derived. Notwithstanding, at the current time, there is evidence of numerous bottles, bags and spoons littering the area. The following drugs were, in fact, discovered near the body: acepromazine, amantadine, amitraz, amitryptyline, amlodipine, amoxicillin, atenolol, atipamezole, benazepril, boldenone, buprenorphine, butorphanol, carprofen, cefovecin, cephalexin, chloramphenicol, cimetidine, clamoxyquine, clavulanic acid, clenbuterol, clindamycin hydrochloride, clomipramine hydrochloride, deracoxib, dexamnethasone, diazepam, dichlorophene, enalapril, enrofloxacin, flunixin, furosemide, hydromorphone, isoxsuprine, ivermectin, ketamine, ketoprofen, lufenuron, marbofloxacin, maropitant, medetomidine, meloxicam, metoclopramide, metronidazole, mibemycin oxime, mirtazapine, neomycin, nitenpyram, nitroscanate, nystatin, ofloxacin, omeprazole, oxibendazole,
panacur, pentobarabital, phenobarbital, phenylbutazone, pimobendan, pirlmycin, ponazuril, praziquantel, prednisone, propofol, pyrantel pamoate, selamectin, sucralfate, synulox, theorphylline, thiostrepton, thiabendazole, triamcinolone acetonide, trimethoprim, trilostane and tylosin.
Although charred to an almost unrecognizable level, we also discovered a piece of paper near the remains. Through forensics, we have been able to decipher its words. It simply said: “F@CK YOU ALL!!!! NONE OF YOU IN THE FFL COULD EVER HANDLE THIS PENGUIN JUST BECAUSE I SPOKE MY MIND AND NEVER BACKED DOWN TO ANY PUNK-A$$ BEEYATCH WHO STOOD BEFORE ME!!!”
Given the circumstances of this incredibly nonsensical accident, the members of B3 are asking for your understanding during this difficult time. Nonetheless, no matter what the evidence may show, Pablo was our teammate and more importantly, our dear friend. We dedicate the remainder of the season to the little guy and will try our damndest to make him proud. We will miss him. Thank you. No questions at this time.
NEWS
Whiale studying for my upcoming match, i have come to and understanding that a blue power ring is reallly only usefull when a green ring is near( whith the exception of flight and force field). I have to call bulls**t, becsue i have absoluty no will power, but my hope is so strong that I am capable of bending anyone over and making them call me rosco. If anyone whould like to challenge me on this matter, feel free, but bring your own ky cause i don't have enough for everyone. Still don't count on the ky being used, i prefer spit.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Spoiler Sport- FFL Week Three Wrap Up.
This is the Ocho. I'm Cotton, let's get to the action.
There's a new name getting a lot of attention in the FFL this week, and that name is Bryan Beckerman. After receiving an absolute curbstomping from "Michael Vick's Badnews Kennelz of Lurve" this week there was bit of friction between the Backyardigans and watcher Gryffilyn. Outspoken B3 member Pablo the Penguin added a bit of fuel to the fire with his usual outlandish comments, which cause Gryff to wonder if Pablo was perhaps being used as the mouthpiece for his team owner. Bryan Beckerman himself has, as of yet, had no response to these allegations.
However, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman is not shy about his inability to rise above hate, as the black lantern lawyer had nothing but evil intentions for the Tijuana Taco Benders. The "Logical Genocide" team member proved once again to be an invaluable asset. Coming off the heels of sending veteran "George Wahington Slave" Santa Claus, he and his new found sidekick Centerion #8 Sue Yerazzov laid unholy amounts of destruction upon the now 0-3 "Taco Benders" culminating in a spot of sexual brutality involving BLBB and Dart Vegetariano that literally tore the Sith Lord inside out.
Elsewhere around the League, "George Washington's Slaves" made good on their promise last week to "F**K you up something fierce" when the met "Better Than All of You" in the desert. The field of perfection has slimmed down to three now, as the "Brotherhood of Evil Midgets" were denied continued perfection by the still undefeated" 'Pop Superstar' Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos", and "Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies" proved once again to be a "desert powerhouse" as they defeated "Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family".
Next week, we head to Isla Nublar, more commonly referred to as "Jurassic Park". To bring you some rumbles in a prehistoric jungle.
That's it for "Spoiler Sport" This has been Cotton McKnight, thank you and good night.
There's a new name getting a lot of attention in the FFL this week, and that name is Bryan Beckerman. After receiving an absolute curbstomping from "Michael Vick's Badnews Kennelz of Lurve" this week there was bit of friction between the Backyardigans and watcher Gryffilyn. Outspoken B3 member Pablo the Penguin added a bit of fuel to the fire with his usual outlandish comments, which cause Gryff to wonder if Pablo was perhaps being used as the mouthpiece for his team owner. Bryan Beckerman himself has, as of yet, had no response to these allegations.
However, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman is not shy about his inability to rise above hate, as the black lantern lawyer had nothing but evil intentions for the Tijuana Taco Benders. The "Logical Genocide" team member proved once again to be an invaluable asset. Coming off the heels of sending veteran "George Wahington Slave" Santa Claus, he and his new found sidekick Centerion #8 Sue Yerazzov laid unholy amounts of destruction upon the now 0-3 "Taco Benders" culminating in a spot of sexual brutality involving BLBB and Dart Vegetariano that literally tore the Sith Lord inside out.
Elsewhere around the League, "George Washington's Slaves" made good on their promise last week to "F**K you up something fierce" when the met "Better Than All of You" in the desert. The field of perfection has slimmed down to three now, as the "Brotherhood of Evil Midgets" were denied continued perfection by the still undefeated" 'Pop Superstar' Hannah Montana and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos", and "Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies" proved once again to be a "desert powerhouse" as they defeated "Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family".
Next week, we head to Isla Nublar, more commonly referred to as "Jurassic Park". To bring you some rumbles in a prehistoric jungle.
That's it for "Spoiler Sport" This has been Cotton McKnight, thank you and good night.
Week Four Schedule
WEEK Four: Jurassic Park
400 Points
Prize: Jetpack (Equipped like a weapon)
Horsemen of Apokolips vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Seeney)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Logical Genocide vs The Transfoamers (Ryan)
TEAM vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Nick)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad (Becks)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Josh)
400 Points
Prize: Jetpack (Equipped like a weapon)
Horsemen of Apokolips vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Seeney)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Logical Genocide vs The Transfoamers (Ryan)
TEAM vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Nick)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Xavier's Annihilation Squad (Becks)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Josh)
Team Sleeping Pussy Vs. Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers
Team Sleeping Pussy is Super Skrull, Unus the Untouchable, Quicksilver, Zombie Mothra, Weaponers of Qward #1-6, Rivvy Dinari in a tank, and Toro.
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Sandworm #10, Sandworm #2A, (Kingdom Come) Superman, Nightmare (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Skyfire, Galadriel, Caiera the Oldstrong, Yaddle, and Woodstock
"We have to take to the air unless we want to end up being swallowed by our own teammates". Superman says to the rest of The Dope Fiend Squad. "How do you know that"? asks Caiera. "Obvious this is... Didn't you read the last match"? Answers Yaddle. Superman, Nightmare, and Woodstock take flight, while Skyfire transforms in to his massive jet form to allow the non-flight capable Dope Fiends hop on board. Galadriel and Yaddle both get on board; but as Caiera the Oldstrong is about to board she is blasted in the back by a tank blast from Rivvy Dinari. Caiera shakes off the blast and yells to her teammates: "Take off without me. My own honor dictates that I must now stay and fight"!! Skyfire is reluctant, but Galadriel tells the autobot to "do as she says, her fate is her own". Skyfire then takes off with Galadriel and Yaddle securely on board. Caiera rushes the tank of The Ginaz Swordmaster and crushes the onboard gun. She then rips off the top to prepare for battle, but Rivvy Dinari is ready as well. The seasoned Ginaz instructor jumps out with a vibro-blade in one hand and a traditional sword in the other. He finds that his abilities and speed are more than enough to match skill-sets with The Shadow Warrior, but his weapons are not able to penetrate her stone skin. After brushing off numerous sword hits with minimal damage done, Caiera is able to get a hold of Rivvy and snap his neck. Caiera raises her arms in celebration just in time to get them smashed in to the ground by the flaming stone arm of Super Skrull. At that moment both of The Dope Fiend's enormous sandworms come bursting from the sand. The ultra territorial creatures almost instantly begin doing battle with each other but in the meantime consume Unus the Untouchable in all of his force-fielded glory and crush both Super Skrull and Quicksilver. The much smaller and younger Sandworm #2A loses the territory battle to make Sandworm #10 the lone Sandworm remaining. The Weaponers of Qward begin throwing their lightning bolts at Skyfire, but the flying Autobot manages to evade the attacks. Nightmare then comes in anxious to subdue the Weaponers with his yellow ring, much like Sinestro did to the ring's creators. The Weaponers wish to gain vengence for their enslaved brethren by defeating a yellow lantern but Nightmare uses his ring to unleash his powers like he never has before. He uses the Weaponers own dreams of revenge on the yellow lantern corps against them and capatalizes on their fear of further enslavement. Nightmare creates collars of pure yellow energy which slowly choke the life out of all six of The Weaponers. After this amazing show of power is unleashed, Nightmare's Fantasy Fantasy Career is put to an end when the fearless undead Zombie version of Mothra coats Nightmare with its scales, ironically killing the yellow lantern with the yellow poison. Superman then flies up next to Skyfire and yells to him that it is time to finish this up. "I'm ready" says Skyfire to their Kryptonian Captain, but Superman says: "We had this match from the get go Skyfire, and we don't need to lose yet another fighter for good. We need you to fight with us another day. I'll finish off this team by myself". Yaddle (who has already climbed on to Skyfire's wing) says: "agree with you I do Superman, except for the alone part". Yaddle then force leaps on to Superman's back and uses the force to mentally speak to Skyfire's spark: "Get yourself and Galadriel to safety, we will finish this match before The Sleeping Pussies or our remaining Sandworm do any more damage". The elder version of Superman raises off fast than a speeding bullet with the little Jedi Master on his back. The two of them never speak, they both just know exactly what to do. Superman does not stop as he flies about thirty feet above Toro; but Yaddle leaps off of him. Yaddle, while in free fall ignites her lighhtsaber and slices Toro in half. In the meantime Superman is rocketing through the neck of the rotting Mothra. Yaddle still has nearly a hundred feet of air beneath her when Superman easily doubles back and catches the green-skinned Yaddle.
GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Griffin's High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers are Sandworm #10, Sandworm #2A, (Kingdom Come) Superman, Nightmare (w/ a yellow lantern ring), Skyfire, Galadriel, Caiera the Oldstrong, Yaddle, and Woodstock
"We have to take to the air unless we want to end up being swallowed by our own teammates". Superman says to the rest of The Dope Fiend Squad. "How do you know that"? asks Caiera. "Obvious this is... Didn't you read the last match"? Answers Yaddle. Superman, Nightmare, and Woodstock take flight, while Skyfire transforms in to his massive jet form to allow the non-flight capable Dope Fiends hop on board. Galadriel and Yaddle both get on board; but as Caiera the Oldstrong is about to board she is blasted in the back by a tank blast from Rivvy Dinari. Caiera shakes off the blast and yells to her teammates: "Take off without me. My own honor dictates that I must now stay and fight"!! Skyfire is reluctant, but Galadriel tells the autobot to "do as she says, her fate is her own". Skyfire then takes off with Galadriel and Yaddle securely on board. Caiera rushes the tank of The Ginaz Swordmaster and crushes the onboard gun. She then rips off the top to prepare for battle, but Rivvy Dinari is ready as well. The seasoned Ginaz instructor jumps out with a vibro-blade in one hand and a traditional sword in the other. He finds that his abilities and speed are more than enough to match skill-sets with The Shadow Warrior, but his weapons are not able to penetrate her stone skin. After brushing off numerous sword hits with minimal damage done, Caiera is able to get a hold of Rivvy and snap his neck. Caiera raises her arms in celebration just in time to get them smashed in to the ground by the flaming stone arm of Super Skrull. At that moment both of The Dope Fiend's enormous sandworms come bursting from the sand. The ultra territorial creatures almost instantly begin doing battle with each other but in the meantime consume Unus the Untouchable in all of his force-fielded glory and crush both Super Skrull and Quicksilver. The much smaller and younger Sandworm #2A loses the territory battle to make Sandworm #10 the lone Sandworm remaining. The Weaponers of Qward begin throwing their lightning bolts at Skyfire, but the flying Autobot manages to evade the attacks. Nightmare then comes in anxious to subdue the Weaponers with his yellow ring, much like Sinestro did to the ring's creators. The Weaponers wish to gain vengence for their enslaved brethren by defeating a yellow lantern but Nightmare uses his ring to unleash his powers like he never has before. He uses the Weaponers own dreams of revenge on the yellow lantern corps against them and capatalizes on their fear of further enslavement. Nightmare creates collars of pure yellow energy which slowly choke the life out of all six of The Weaponers. After this amazing show of power is unleashed, Nightmare's Fantasy Fantasy Career is put to an end when the fearless undead Zombie version of Mothra coats Nightmare with its scales, ironically killing the yellow lantern with the yellow poison. Superman then flies up next to Skyfire and yells to him that it is time to finish this up. "I'm ready" says Skyfire to their Kryptonian Captain, but Superman says: "We had this match from the get go Skyfire, and we don't need to lose yet another fighter for good. We need you to fight with us another day. I'll finish off this team by myself". Yaddle (who has already climbed on to Skyfire's wing) says: "agree with you I do Superman, except for the alone part". Yaddle then force leaps on to Superman's back and uses the force to mentally speak to Skyfire's spark: "Get yourself and Galadriel to safety, we will finish this match before The Sleeping Pussies or our remaining Sandworm do any more damage". The elder version of Superman raises off fast than a speeding bullet with the little Jedi Master on his back. The two of them never speak, they both just know exactly what to do. Superman does not stop as he flies about thirty feet above Toro; but Yaddle leaps off of him. Yaddle, while in free fall ignites her lighhtsaber and slices Toro in half. In the meantime Superman is rocketing through the neck of the rotting Mothra. Yaddle still has nearly a hundred feet of air beneath her when Superman easily doubles back and catches the green-skinned Yaddle.
GRIFFIN'S HIGH MAINTENANCE DOPE FIENDS AND DESTROYERS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. The Transfoamers.
The Horsemen of Apokolips are Phoenix (Jean Grey), Flamebird, Nightwing, Joseph, Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, Havok, Sheanna, and Sandworm #14.
The Transfoamers are Optimus Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, and Blackarachnia.
Red Lantern Jeff Houslander knows he has very little time to spare when he begins to talking to his teammates out on the deep desert sands. "Listen up, I was just talking to my son in the locker room, he has always been big in to this "Dune" Crap. And if our sandworm is about to do what he claims it is going to do, than we better take to the air, and get the hell out of here". "I have always been near the mighty Shai Halud, and I have nothing to fear" exclaims Sheanna indignantly. "I tend to agree with you, but I am under strict orders to stay put and use my powers on what is certain to be an onslaught of metal bound creatures from The Transfoamers. I realize that this team is under new management, but I dare not question the orders given from the front office of The Horsemen of Apokolips. I may be new here but our team's tactics our legendary". Says Joseph. "Suit yourself Joe, but I am out of here and I tend to think that anybody that isn't with me is going to regret it" Jeff says in retort. Phoenix begins to take off, when Flamebird and Nightwing both offer a hand to the non-flying members of the squad. Havok says indignantly: "I am so sick of you fliers always acting like you are top-dog just because you can get away from a situation like a couple of sissies!! I am here to fight and that's exactly what I am going to do. I don't need your help". "And that is your choice mutant". Flamebird says as her, Nightwing, Phoenix, and Jeff Houslander take flight high above the Battlefield. Sheanna begins to say a prayer to Shai Halud: The Lord of the Desert, when two seperate rumbles approach the center of the battlefield. Wormsign appears to her North and heading that direction, when further North the entire Beast Wars Crew, led by Optimas Primal is heading South; fully prepared to do battle with The Horsemen; and creating an even larger tremor in the ground than the subtle wormsign. The Maximals stand firm as the dunes begin to quake and then begin to charge the hole as the massive Sandworm #14 exits straight up out of the sand. Optimus Primal orders The Maximals to scatter, but some are quicker and better in the desert setting than others. Nightscream, Savage, Depth Charge, and Scuba all die in the initial open-mouthed flop of the massive Arrakis-born Beast. As most of The Maximals regroup behind their leader Optimus Primal; Airazor, The female Peregrine Falcon and Silverbolt, the grey wolf golden eagle both instinctively transform and take to the air. Their actions were meant simply to evade the oncoming sandworm and were taken off guard when they are both blinded and pushed back by the power and heat of Phoenix. By the time they begin to gain their composure Flamebird and Nightwing have shot through their sparks like little flesh bullets. "Well that's just Prime" Optimus Primal says with a disgruntled hint of sarcasm. "it appears that the air isn't any safer than the sands". Sheanna stands firm on the ground as the mighty worm passes her by. Optimus Primal is confused by this, but decides that it is towards this human woman that he and his confused band of Beast Warriors should target their attack. But before they can they find themselves moving in the opposite direction all together. Joseph, the clone of Magneto has taken control of the entire bunched up Transfoamers squadron and is bringing them in close to himself. Joseph doesn't quite have the control over his powers that the original Magneto has, but his abilities are significant. He knows that if he can bring all of these massive robots in close to him that he can crush them in to one giant ball of scrap metal. He begins by pushing Tigatron and Cheetor together when the magnetic vibrations of his powers summon the great Shai Halud like no Fremen-devised thumper could ever dream of doing. The massive sandworm pops back out of the sand as The Horsemen front office had planned but this time Joseph has The Maximals nice and bunched up. Joseph dies along with his enemies but his actions kill Cheetor, Rattrap, Tigatron, and Big Convoy. Thus making his FFL Debut quite a success. Optimus Primal and the rest of The Maximals break free of the magnetic hold and begin to open fire on Sandworm #14. "Focus on the center of the worm with everything you've got" Optimus screams to his troops. Sheanna begins to realize that at this point even she is not safe from the rampaging sand worm, while Havok realizes that his move to not get safe with the fliers may have been a bad one. Not that that stops Alex Summers from doing exactly what he said he would do in this battle. He uses his mutant powers to blast a massive hole in the center of Big Horn before Havok finds himself underneath the massive underbelly of his own teammate as well. The Maximals, led by Rhinox's "Chainguns of Doom" concentrate their super-advanced weaponry at the sandworm and actually manage to accomplish their goal. An undescribably intense smell of pungent cinammon fills the air as the insides of the massive sandworm spill on to the dunes. "Wow!! I can't believe they actually killed our sandworm" says Flamebird from high above the battle. "How does that make you feel Red Lantern"? Asks Jean Grey. "PISSED" Answers Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, as he and the rest of his flying teammates charge from the air against the energon-drained Maximals. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander's rage is peaked even further when he sees Rhinox turn his two Chainguns in the direction of Sheanna. Jeff Houslander spews red energy all over the Maximal Second in Command (Rhinox); while Phoenix engulfs Blackarachnia with her powers. Flamebird and Nightwing double team Optimas Primal by ripping The Maximal Leader's head clean off of his metal body. Only the Velociraptor named Dinobot remained. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander escorted the heartbroken Sheanna to safety, while Phoenix, Flamebird, and Nightwing finished off the last remaining Transfoamer.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
The Transfoamers are Optimus Primal, Rhinox, Cheetor, Rattrap, Dinobot, Tigatron, Airazor, Silverbolt, Savage/Noble, Nightscream, Depth Charge, Scuba, Big Horn, Big Convoy, and Blackarachnia.
Red Lantern Jeff Houslander knows he has very little time to spare when he begins to talking to his teammates out on the deep desert sands. "Listen up, I was just talking to my son in the locker room, he has always been big in to this "Dune" Crap. And if our sandworm is about to do what he claims it is going to do, than we better take to the air, and get the hell out of here". "I have always been near the mighty Shai Halud, and I have nothing to fear" exclaims Sheanna indignantly. "I tend to agree with you, but I am under strict orders to stay put and use my powers on what is certain to be an onslaught of metal bound creatures from The Transfoamers. I realize that this team is under new management, but I dare not question the orders given from the front office of The Horsemen of Apokolips. I may be new here but our team's tactics our legendary". Says Joseph. "Suit yourself Joe, but I am out of here and I tend to think that anybody that isn't with me is going to regret it" Jeff says in retort. Phoenix begins to take off, when Flamebird and Nightwing both offer a hand to the non-flying members of the squad. Havok says indignantly: "I am so sick of you fliers always acting like you are top-dog just because you can get away from a situation like a couple of sissies!! I am here to fight and that's exactly what I am going to do. I don't need your help". "And that is your choice mutant". Flamebird says as her, Nightwing, Phoenix, and Jeff Houslander take flight high above the Battlefield. Sheanna begins to say a prayer to Shai Halud: The Lord of the Desert, when two seperate rumbles approach the center of the battlefield. Wormsign appears to her North and heading that direction, when further North the entire Beast Wars Crew, led by Optimas Primal is heading South; fully prepared to do battle with The Horsemen; and creating an even larger tremor in the ground than the subtle wormsign. The Maximals stand firm as the dunes begin to quake and then begin to charge the hole as the massive Sandworm #14 exits straight up out of the sand. Optimus Primal orders The Maximals to scatter, but some are quicker and better in the desert setting than others. Nightscream, Savage, Depth Charge, and Scuba all die in the initial open-mouthed flop of the massive Arrakis-born Beast. As most of The Maximals regroup behind their leader Optimus Primal; Airazor, The female Peregrine Falcon and Silverbolt, the grey wolf golden eagle both instinctively transform and take to the air. Their actions were meant simply to evade the oncoming sandworm and were taken off guard when they are both blinded and pushed back by the power and heat of Phoenix. By the time they begin to gain their composure Flamebird and Nightwing have shot through their sparks like little flesh bullets. "Well that's just Prime" Optimus Primal says with a disgruntled hint of sarcasm. "it appears that the air isn't any safer than the sands". Sheanna stands firm on the ground as the mighty worm passes her by. Optimus Primal is confused by this, but decides that it is towards this human woman that he and his confused band of Beast Warriors should target their attack. But before they can they find themselves moving in the opposite direction all together. Joseph, the clone of Magneto has taken control of the entire bunched up Transfoamers squadron and is bringing them in close to himself. Joseph doesn't quite have the control over his powers that the original Magneto has, but his abilities are significant. He knows that if he can bring all of these massive robots in close to him that he can crush them in to one giant ball of scrap metal. He begins by pushing Tigatron and Cheetor together when the magnetic vibrations of his powers summon the great Shai Halud like no Fremen-devised thumper could ever dream of doing. The massive sandworm pops back out of the sand as The Horsemen front office had planned but this time Joseph has The Maximals nice and bunched up. Joseph dies along with his enemies but his actions kill Cheetor, Rattrap, Tigatron, and Big Convoy. Thus making his FFL Debut quite a success. Optimus Primal and the rest of The Maximals break free of the magnetic hold and begin to open fire on Sandworm #14. "Focus on the center of the worm with everything you've got" Optimus screams to his troops. Sheanna begins to realize that at this point even she is not safe from the rampaging sand worm, while Havok realizes that his move to not get safe with the fliers may have been a bad one. Not that that stops Alex Summers from doing exactly what he said he would do in this battle. He uses his mutant powers to blast a massive hole in the center of Big Horn before Havok finds himself underneath the massive underbelly of his own teammate as well. The Maximals, led by Rhinox's "Chainguns of Doom" concentrate their super-advanced weaponry at the sandworm and actually manage to accomplish their goal. An undescribably intense smell of pungent cinammon fills the air as the insides of the massive sandworm spill on to the dunes. "Wow!! I can't believe they actually killed our sandworm" says Flamebird from high above the battle. "How does that make you feel Red Lantern"? Asks Jean Grey. "PISSED" Answers Red Lantern Jeff Houslander, as he and the rest of his flying teammates charge from the air against the energon-drained Maximals. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander's rage is peaked even further when he sees Rhinox turn his two Chainguns in the direction of Sheanna. Jeff Houslander spews red energy all over the Maximal Second in Command (Rhinox); while Phoenix engulfs Blackarachnia with her powers. Flamebird and Nightwing double team Optimas Primal by ripping The Maximal Leader's head clean off of his metal body. Only the Velociraptor named Dinobot remained. Red Lantern Jeff Houslander escorted the heartbroken Sheanna to safety, while Phoenix, Flamebird, and Nightwing finished off the last remaining Transfoamer.
THE HORSEMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Season 5, Week 3. TEAM vs Xaviers Annihilation Squad.
TEAM is:
Justice League Alpha Starman, Kefka, Bomber Man, Wile E. Coyote, The Roadrunner, John Wayne, Sith Lord #7: Darth Cocky, Davtokk, Valkyrie #7, Zangler (Immell #13) w/Proton Pack, Junkeon #25, Junkeon #26, Hamblor, God of Hamburgers, Hamblor’s dog, Melkor, Duke Nukem, CS Goomba #1, CS Goomba #2, CS Goomba #3,CS Goomba #4, CS Goomba #5, CS Goomba #6
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is:
Mumm-Ra, Paul Atreides, Sandman (marvel), Imhotep, Scorpion King, Rick O'Connell w/ blue lightsaber, Evie O'Connell w/crossbow, Golden Age Blue Beetle, Atreides soldier #20, Apollo (Authority), Dave Thomas in Hovercraft, Wendy Thomas in ornithopter, Ewok#50
The sands gently swirl and shift, the sun beats down relentlessly upon TEAM as they prepare for the fight.
Davtokk: “Good lord it’s...”
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: rolls his eyes: “Not you... anyway, I was saying it....”
Hamblor: “Oh Ok.”
Davtokk: “Can i PLEASE finish my sentence here?! … THANK YOU... Anyway i was Saying.. and do not interrupt me that it’s hot out here... ”
Duke Nukem: They’re not sticking to my legs because I’ve got, Balls of Steel....
The Entire rest of the TEAM roster in unison except for Hamblors dog who just whimpers: “Uggggh...”
Melkor: “Can we get on with this!? I am literally roasting in this armor, there is no shade out here and I’m wearing all black with black metal plates. it’s like I’m walking around wearing a crock pot over here... Is the bird back with our scouting report yet?!”
Zangler: “I see him over there! look at the dust cloud! Man he is booking!”
Wile E Coyote: *holds up a sign that says “I really don’t think that’s him...”
But nobody sees the sign because the dust cloud over takes the TEAM position quickly.
The sand storm rages, dropping them into inky blackness...
Melkor: “aahhh... darkness... god that’s so much bett...
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: “That’s IT! Wait till I can see again Hamblor... just wait! Everyone stay here until this passes.”
The sand storm rages on as TEAM hunkers down to wait till it passes.
Meanwhile Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is planning their attack... sort of.
Blue Beetle: Dude, Guys, I am so pumped about this... we’ve got this on lockdown. I mean look who’s here! We got Lowell up in the hizzouse!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Dude... you’re confused.... this isn’t who you are thinking it is... but yeah I’m pumped too. I’m so thirsty, you gotta have some wine on you right Jack? Does Giamatti have it all or what? Where is he anyway?”
Sandman: “You idiots are infuriating, I know this multiverse thing is complicated but I have never heard of Lowell, and I most certainly was not friends with a “Giamatti” whatever that creature may be.”
Blue Beetle: “Oh come on! Wings?! Anybody?! Nobody here knows wings?!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Hey guys... GUYS! Sandstorm!”
Sandman: “Can we all just focus!? Sand is not a problem here, trust me.”
Atreides Soldier #20: No... dudes... SANDSTORM! WOOOOOH!
The Annihilation crew hears the tunes pumping from the ornithopter and Hovercraft combo that was jamming by them at an incredible rate of speed.
Blue Beetle: “Alright! It’s the Thomases!”
The Fast Food Duo coordinate their run on the sandstorm in the distance.
Dave: “Wendy I’m coming up on this thing quick.. it’s almost like it’s coming right at me!”
Wendy: “Dad No that’s not the sandstorm that’s the...”
*Thump!*
Dave: “Holy crap! what was that?”
Wendy: “I’m pretty sure that was their scouting party... looked like a road runner... he’s roadkill now. Lets circle back and tell the crew that we’re clear to move.”
The Squad is given the word to launch their attack.
The battle is over swiftly, and the sheer combined power of the forces does not make for much of a stalemate.
The combined sand manipulation of Imhotep and The Sandman cover TEAM in a wall of crushing sand. Hamblor’s dog (a St. Bernard well suited to rescue duty) pulls John Wayne, Hamblor himself, and Starman out of the flood of sand that suddenly came crashing in on the team. the Junkeon's are crushed under the weight of the sand.
Duke Nukem managed to somehow use his boot to kick his way out of the sand pile and Melkor forced his way to the surface using sheer might.
John Wayne finds himself squaring off with a similarly rakish figure in Rick O’Connel. Unfortunatley for John, while they were staring eachother trying to decide who was more rugged Evie put a crossbow bolt through his neck just seconds before John collapsed from stomach cancer.
Starman and Duke get the jump on Evie and Rick and kill them both quickly. Hamblor swats Wendy Thomas out of the sky burying the smoking wreckage in the sand and his trusty companion treats Dave’s hovercraft like a rubber chew toy, putting an end to the Carl’s Jr. Vs Wendy’s debate that no one was having.
Duke: “Ahahaha that old fruit ate it big time and Wendy! maaaan, talk about getting sand in your va...”
But before he could finish another horrible joke the intensity of the battlefield kicked into high gear. Another cloud of sand generated by Sandman and Imhotep engulfs the remaining TEAM members.
Apollo, Fueled by the harsh and unrelenting sun decides to end this.
Apollo: “He Duke.. lets see if you can call someone else a fruit when i’ve got your “Balls of steel” jammed into your windpipe.
And with that, Apollo channels the solar energy into the dust cloud. burning it away and killing all of the TEAM members remaining except for Kefka.
Kefka transforms into a giant powerful being slaughtering many of the Squad’s number, Mumm-Ra, Golden Age Beetle, Ewok #50 falls after a valliant struggle against the god like psychopath.
Sandman is turned to glass by the magical force unleashed by Kefka’s Ultima attack. Imhotep also is caught in the crossfire and destroyed. Atreides Soldier #20 simply disintegrates.
Apollo: “Enough. I really do not have time for this...”
Apollo grabs the giant Keg of A1 Sauce from the neck of Hamblor’s now deceased dog and launches it at Kefka.
A sticky mess, Kefka laughs thinking it a joke, but he doesn’t realize Apollo is flying very closely behind the keg and slams fist first into his grinning face, flying out of the back of his head killing him instantly.
Justice League Alpha Starman, Kefka, Bomber Man, Wile E. Coyote, The Roadrunner, John Wayne, Sith Lord #7: Darth Cocky, Davtokk, Valkyrie #7, Zangler (Immell #13) w/Proton Pack, Junkeon #25, Junkeon #26, Hamblor, God of Hamburgers, Hamblor’s dog, Melkor, Duke Nukem, CS Goomba #1, CS Goomba #2, CS Goomba #3,CS Goomba #4, CS Goomba #5, CS Goomba #6
Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is:
Mumm-Ra, Paul Atreides, Sandman (marvel), Imhotep, Scorpion King, Rick O'Connell w/ blue lightsaber, Evie O'Connell w/crossbow, Golden Age Blue Beetle, Atreides soldier #20, Apollo (Authority), Dave Thomas in Hovercraft, Wendy Thomas in ornithopter, Ewok#50
The sands gently swirl and shift, the sun beats down relentlessly upon TEAM as they prepare for the fight.
Davtokk: “Good lord it’s...”
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: rolls his eyes: “Not you... anyway, I was saying it....”
Hamblor: “Oh Ok.”
Davtokk: “Can i PLEASE finish my sentence here?! … THANK YOU... Anyway i was Saying.. and do not interrupt me that it’s hot out here... ”
Duke Nukem: They’re not sticking to my legs because I’ve got, Balls of Steel....
The Entire rest of the TEAM roster in unison except for Hamblors dog who just whimpers: “Uggggh...”
Melkor: “Can we get on with this!? I am literally roasting in this armor, there is no shade out here and I’m wearing all black with black metal plates. it’s like I’m walking around wearing a crock pot over here... Is the bird back with our scouting report yet?!”
Zangler: “I see him over there! look at the dust cloud! Man he is booking!”
Wile E Coyote: *holds up a sign that says “I really don’t think that’s him...”
But nobody sees the sign because the dust cloud over takes the TEAM position quickly.
The sand storm rages, dropping them into inky blackness...
Melkor: “aahhh... darkness... god that’s so much bett...
Hamblor: “YES?”
Davtokk: “That’s IT! Wait till I can see again Hamblor... just wait! Everyone stay here until this passes.”
The sand storm rages on as TEAM hunkers down to wait till it passes.
Meanwhile Xavier’s Annihilation Squad is planning their attack... sort of.
Blue Beetle: Dude, Guys, I am so pumped about this... we’ve got this on lockdown. I mean look who’s here! We got Lowell up in the hizzouse!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Dude... you’re confused.... this isn’t who you are thinking it is... but yeah I’m pumped too. I’m so thirsty, you gotta have some wine on you right Jack? Does Giamatti have it all or what? Where is he anyway?”
Sandman: “You idiots are infuriating, I know this multiverse thing is complicated but I have never heard of Lowell, and I most certainly was not friends with a “Giamatti” whatever that creature may be.”
Blue Beetle: “Oh come on! Wings?! Anybody?! Nobody here knows wings?!”
Atreides Soldier #20: “Hey guys... GUYS! Sandstorm!”
Sandman: “Can we all just focus!? Sand is not a problem here, trust me.”
Atreides Soldier #20: No... dudes... SANDSTORM! WOOOOOH!
The Annihilation crew hears the tunes pumping from the ornithopter and Hovercraft combo that was jamming by them at an incredible rate of speed.
Blue Beetle: “Alright! It’s the Thomases!”
The Fast Food Duo coordinate their run on the sandstorm in the distance.
Dave: “Wendy I’m coming up on this thing quick.. it’s almost like it’s coming right at me!”
Wendy: “Dad No that’s not the sandstorm that’s the...”
*Thump!*
Dave: “Holy crap! what was that?”
Wendy: “I’m pretty sure that was their scouting party... looked like a road runner... he’s roadkill now. Lets circle back and tell the crew that we’re clear to move.”
The Squad is given the word to launch their attack.
The battle is over swiftly, and the sheer combined power of the forces does not make for much of a stalemate.
The combined sand manipulation of Imhotep and The Sandman cover TEAM in a wall of crushing sand. Hamblor’s dog (a St. Bernard well suited to rescue duty) pulls John Wayne, Hamblor himself, and Starman out of the flood of sand that suddenly came crashing in on the team. the Junkeon's are crushed under the weight of the sand.
Duke Nukem managed to somehow use his boot to kick his way out of the sand pile and Melkor forced his way to the surface using sheer might.
John Wayne finds himself squaring off with a similarly rakish figure in Rick O’Connel. Unfortunatley for John, while they were staring eachother trying to decide who was more rugged Evie put a crossbow bolt through his neck just seconds before John collapsed from stomach cancer.
Starman and Duke get the jump on Evie and Rick and kill them both quickly. Hamblor swats Wendy Thomas out of the sky burying the smoking wreckage in the sand and his trusty companion treats Dave’s hovercraft like a rubber chew toy, putting an end to the Carl’s Jr. Vs Wendy’s debate that no one was having.
Duke: “Ahahaha that old fruit ate it big time and Wendy! maaaan, talk about getting sand in your va...”
But before he could finish another horrible joke the intensity of the battlefield kicked into high gear. Another cloud of sand generated by Sandman and Imhotep engulfs the remaining TEAM members.
Apollo, Fueled by the harsh and unrelenting sun decides to end this.
Apollo: “He Duke.. lets see if you can call someone else a fruit when i’ve got your “Balls of steel” jammed into your windpipe.
And with that, Apollo channels the solar energy into the dust cloud. burning it away and killing all of the TEAM members remaining except for Kefka.
Kefka transforms into a giant powerful being slaughtering many of the Squad’s number, Mumm-Ra, Golden Age Beetle, Ewok #50 falls after a valliant struggle against the god like psychopath.
Sandman is turned to glass by the magical force unleashed by Kefka’s Ultima attack. Imhotep also is caught in the crossfire and destroyed. Atreides Soldier #20 simply disintegrates.
Apollo: “Enough. I really do not have time for this...”
Apollo grabs the giant Keg of A1 Sauce from the neck of Hamblor’s now deceased dog and launches it at Kefka.
A sticky mess, Kefka laughs thinking it a joke, but he doesn’t realize Apollo is flying very closely behind the keg and slams fist first into his grinning face, flying out of the back of his head killing him instantly.
Season 5, Week 3: Tijuana Taco Benders vs. Logical Genocide
“I never put any form of meat in my mouth!”
-Darth Vegetariano
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in Desert. They are as follows:
Logical Genocide: Sandworms #11 and #12, Zombie General Zod, Az-Rel, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov), Neo-Cymek #18 (Ed), Stryfe, Golden Army Soldiers #42 and #43.
Tijuana Taco Benders: Sand, Sandworms #9 and #13, Lavos, Sith Lord #18: Darth Barren, Sith Lord #19: Darth Vegetariano, Lady Deadpool, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact and Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
Let the battle begin. . .
The monstrosities known as the Sandworms, specifically Sandworms #11 and 12 from Logical Genocide and #9 and 13 from the Benders immediately attack one another. Suffice it to say, the pieces of worms littering the sand are more than what one would see after the rains of Naboo. In the end, all Sandworms are decimated, leaving the remainder of the battle free from these Dune behemoths.
Sand uses his ability to control silica particles to create a disturbance around the combatants. Unfortunately for the Benders, a majority of LG’s team is impervious to the storm. Sand is quickly dispelled with by Stryfe.
Darth Barren ignites his lightsaber as he faces both Az-Rel and Zombie General Zod. Zombie General Zod flies toward Barren, who ducks out of the way and uses his lightsaber to slash Zod’s left arm off. Since Zod is a zombie, no pain ensues as he simply shrugs off this bodily loss.
Zod: I’m a righty anyway.
Zod flies at Barren again, enough to distract the Sith Lord. As Barren is focused on Zod, Az-Rel uses his heat vision to engulf Barren in flames. Zod uses his super speed to race around the Force wielder, barraging him with a battery of punches. Barren falls to his knees. Az-Rel then uses all of his strength to punch a hole through Barren’s chest. Az-Rel pulls out Barren’s heart. The Sith Lord falls to the sands below.
Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman (hereinafter “BL2B”) stands with Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov) since they are kindred-in-spirit. They watch as Golden Army Soldiers #42 and 43 battle the entire Cyberforce. Cyblade throws her blades of energy at Golden Army Soldier (hereinafter “GAS”) #42, who simply shrugs off the blows. Ballistic uses her marksmanship skills to fire
at the center of GAS #43’s head with her weapons. She, like Cyblade, is unsuccessful in her attempts to defeat the GAS force. GAS #42 and 43 slowly approach the two while they withstand the storms of weaponry unleashed upon them. GAS #42 grabs Cyblade and GAS #43 reaches Ballistic; the Cyberforce members boldly face their fates before the statuary.
The GAS duo approaches the remaining Cyberforce members. As they are about to decimate the Bender teammates, Stryker notices Woody being held by Buzz Lightyear. The two Toy Story mates are above BL2B and Sue Yerazzov. The two are pointing to the crown on Sue’s head.
Stryker sends Velocity to take the crown. Before Velocity can reach the two, Neo-Cymek-Ed reaches out and manages to catch Velocity’s leg. The force of Velocity running met by the strength of Ed causes Velocity to lose her left leg. The blood spouts from her groin.
BL2B: Damn!!! It isn’t even her time of the month yet and she’s bleeding like a stuck
pig!
Neo-Cymek-Ed grabs Velocity by the head and crushes her skull. Meanwhile, BL2B notices the toys above Yerazzov and himself.
BL2B: You aren’t worth anything to me if you aren’t mint in a carded box!!!
BL2B destroys the duo.
In response to seeing their teammates being decimated, Heatwave uses the full solar power of the desert to create an extreme plasma burst, which she sends at Yerazzov. Yerazzov is struck and both she and her crown (which has been controlling the GAS duo) are melted into a burst of flames. Since the crown is destroyed, so are the GAS. GAS #42 and GAS #43 are done.
Ed the Neo-Cymek battles the remaining Cyberforce members. Although the Neo-Cymek is eventually destroyed, he takes Stryker, Heatwave and Impact with him.
Darth Vegetariano battles Stryfe; the force wielder against the superhuman telekinetic. Stryfe’s armor manages to deflect most of the blows that Darth Vegetariano deals. Lady Deadpool and Lavos come to assist their Sith teammate. Stryfe manages to kill Lady Deadpool, but succumbs to the lethal combination of Lavos and Vegetariano. Lavos is pounced upon by Zod and Az-Rel. Lavos is eventually killed, as is Ripclaw, by the Kryptonian duo.
Darth Vegetariano is battered and on his knees. The Dark Side flows through the Sith Lord, allowing him to attempt and stand up. Zod and Az-Rel remedy this situation and push him back down. BL2B stands before the kneeling DV. Vegetariano looks up at BL2B. BL2B moves like he is unzipping his fly.
BL2B: I know you don’t like meat, but you haven’t tried Kosher. . .
BL2B laughs maniacally and then shrugs as he notices that he has no zipper on his costume. He approaches the downtrodden Vegetariano. He kneels next to the Sith and slips his face close to Vegetariano’s mug. He whispers to him.
BL2B (using his ring’s essence to enter into Vegetariano’s rectum): This is what some on the wrestling team call the “shocker.” I call it the “Radish Rip.”
DV screams as he is entered.
BL2B: And this is what some call the “Fister.” I call it the “Banana Blowback.”
DV screams even louder.
BL2B: I wish my friend didn’t have to go out of town; he’d love to have seen this. . . and
now for the “Endive Explosion.”
DV is ripped apart from the inside out. DV’s body parts litter the sands.
-Darth Vegetariano
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in Desert. They are as follows:
Logical Genocide: Sandworms #11 and #12, Zombie General Zod, Az-Rel, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov), Neo-Cymek #18 (Ed), Stryfe, Golden Army Soldiers #42 and #43.
Tijuana Taco Benders: Sand, Sandworms #9 and #13, Lavos, Sith Lord #18: Darth Barren, Sith Lord #19: Darth Vegetariano, Lady Deadpool, Cyber Force: Stryker, Cyblade, Ripclaw, Velocity, Ballistic, Heatwave and Impact and Buzz Lightyear and Woody.
Let the battle begin. . .
The monstrosities known as the Sandworms, specifically Sandworms #11 and 12 from Logical Genocide and #9 and 13 from the Benders immediately attack one another. Suffice it to say, the pieces of worms littering the sand are more than what one would see after the rains of Naboo. In the end, all Sandworms are decimated, leaving the remainder of the battle free from these Dune behemoths.
Sand uses his ability to control silica particles to create a disturbance around the combatants. Unfortunately for the Benders, a majority of LG’s team is impervious to the storm. Sand is quickly dispelled with by Stryfe.
Darth Barren ignites his lightsaber as he faces both Az-Rel and Zombie General Zod. Zombie General Zod flies toward Barren, who ducks out of the way and uses his lightsaber to slash Zod’s left arm off. Since Zod is a zombie, no pain ensues as he simply shrugs off this bodily loss.
Zod: I’m a righty anyway.
Zod flies at Barren again, enough to distract the Sith Lord. As Barren is focused on Zod, Az-Rel uses his heat vision to engulf Barren in flames. Zod uses his super speed to race around the Force wielder, barraging him with a battery of punches. Barren falls to his knees. Az-Rel then uses all of his strength to punch a hole through Barren’s chest. Az-Rel pulls out Barren’s heart. The Sith Lord falls to the sands below.
Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman (hereinafter “BL2B”) stands with Centerion #8 (Sue Yerazzov) since they are kindred-in-spirit. They watch as Golden Army Soldiers #42 and 43 battle the entire Cyberforce. Cyblade throws her blades of energy at Golden Army Soldier (hereinafter “GAS”) #42, who simply shrugs off the blows. Ballistic uses her marksmanship skills to fire
at the center of GAS #43’s head with her weapons. She, like Cyblade, is unsuccessful in her attempts to defeat the GAS force. GAS #42 and 43 slowly approach the two while they withstand the storms of weaponry unleashed upon them. GAS #42 grabs Cyblade and GAS #43 reaches Ballistic; the Cyberforce members boldly face their fates before the statuary.
The GAS duo approaches the remaining Cyberforce members. As they are about to decimate the Bender teammates, Stryker notices Woody being held by Buzz Lightyear. The two Toy Story mates are above BL2B and Sue Yerazzov. The two are pointing to the crown on Sue’s head.
Stryker sends Velocity to take the crown. Before Velocity can reach the two, Neo-Cymek-Ed reaches out and manages to catch Velocity’s leg. The force of Velocity running met by the strength of Ed causes Velocity to lose her left leg. The blood spouts from her groin.
BL2B: Damn!!! It isn’t even her time of the month yet and she’s bleeding like a stuck
pig!
Neo-Cymek-Ed grabs Velocity by the head and crushes her skull. Meanwhile, BL2B notices the toys above Yerazzov and himself.
BL2B: You aren’t worth anything to me if you aren’t mint in a carded box!!!
BL2B destroys the duo.
In response to seeing their teammates being decimated, Heatwave uses the full solar power of the desert to create an extreme plasma burst, which she sends at Yerazzov. Yerazzov is struck and both she and her crown (which has been controlling the GAS duo) are melted into a burst of flames. Since the crown is destroyed, so are the GAS. GAS #42 and GAS #43 are done.
Ed the Neo-Cymek battles the remaining Cyberforce members. Although the Neo-Cymek is eventually destroyed, he takes Stryker, Heatwave and Impact with him.
Darth Vegetariano battles Stryfe; the force wielder against the superhuman telekinetic. Stryfe’s armor manages to deflect most of the blows that Darth Vegetariano deals. Lady Deadpool and Lavos come to assist their Sith teammate. Stryfe manages to kill Lady Deadpool, but succumbs to the lethal combination of Lavos and Vegetariano. Lavos is pounced upon by Zod and Az-Rel. Lavos is eventually killed, as is Ripclaw, by the Kryptonian duo.
Darth Vegetariano is battered and on his knees. The Dark Side flows through the Sith Lord, allowing him to attempt and stand up. Zod and Az-Rel remedy this situation and push him back down. BL2B stands before the kneeling DV. Vegetariano looks up at BL2B. BL2B moves like he is unzipping his fly.
BL2B: I know you don’t like meat, but you haven’t tried Kosher. . .
BL2B laughs maniacally and then shrugs as he notices that he has no zipper on his costume. He approaches the downtrodden Vegetariano. He kneels next to the Sith and slips his face close to Vegetariano’s mug. He whispers to him.
BL2B (using his ring’s essence to enter into Vegetariano’s rectum): This is what some on the wrestling team call the “shocker.” I call it the “Radish Rip.”
DV screams as he is entered.
BL2B: And this is what some call the “Fister.” I call it the “Banana Blowback.”
DV screams even louder.
BL2B: I wish my friend didn’t have to go out of town; he’d love to have seen this. . . and
now for the “Endive Explosion.”
DV is ripped apart from the inside out. DV’s body parts litter the sands.
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches Vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are: Gladiator Voltron (#1-5), Soranik Natu, Chaos King, Zombie Abomination, Pre-suit Darth Vader, Matt Oblak (Mandalorian Armor, Green and Blue Lightsabers), Dr. Teresa Oblak (Blue and Green Lightsabers)
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are: Fremen #1, Anti-Monitor, The Serpent
The Worthy: Skadi: Herald of the Serpent (Merged w/ Shao Khan via hammer)
Nul: Breaker of Worlds (Merged w/ Beast Wars Megatron via hammer)
Angir: Breaker of Souls (Merged w/ Beast Man via hammer)
Greithoth: Breaker of Wills (Merged w/Marv via hammer)
Both teams are dropped about a mile apart. Fremen#1 disappears once he steps foot on the sand. The Voltrons take to the sky to scout for enemies. Soranik Natu incases herself and pre suit Vader in a force field . They two take to the sky’s to scout. Chaos king seems to disappear into a different realm. That may be cheating but I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I saw. Zombie Abomination must have no recollection of his previous life cause he’s just sitting on the ground using his own pee to make sand castles.
Gladiator Voltron # 4 detects life forms just Below him.
Voltron#:4 Guys I just spotted a barrel of fish. I can‘t resist, should only be about 5 min ill catch up with you.
Gladiator Voltron#1: Rodger, Rodger.
Gladiator Voltron#:4 Fly’s down and lands right on top of his target. His suit still shows signs of life, worried his suit has malfunctioning he runs some diagnostic tests. That’s when Dr. Teresa Oblak and her Husband Matthew Oblak Bust from the sand and slash the Robot, zord, or whatever you call it to pieces. The carnage doesn’t stop there, The Oblaks storm the zords control room and massacre all the surviving operators
They embrace each other and Teresa says “ we make the best team”. Matt frowns and say’s I know and that’s why this is so hard. Before Teresa has a chance to respond, Matt presses his light saber against her liver and turns its on.
Teresa: Bbabaaaby WWHHWHY.
Matt Oblak: You know I love you, but I am 0-2. I just can’t lose this week, Trust me, it will all be worth it when I bring home the trophy, I’ll even let you touch it, LOVE YOU! STABE STABE STABE
Zombie Abomination gets a whiff of the fresh blood and race’s towards it at supper human speeds Just as it looks like he s going to get a two for one deal, Matt Oblak spin’s in just enough time to use his light sabers to scissor the top of Zombie Abomination’s head killing him instantly.
Gladiator Voltron#1 has spotted The Serpent and his worthy. He calls for his comrades to report to his location, but only 2 arrive.
Gladiator Voltron:1: What the hell happened to the others?
Gladiator Voltron:3: Well 5 just disappeared, and 4 got hacked to pieces.
Gladiator Voltron:1: Forget that right now we need to think about surviving, well bury them later. Right now we need to take these a**holes out. I am pretty sure we can still form Voltron with just the three of us.
MEANWHIALE………
Fear-Itself is at the base of a sand dune discussing tactics….When all of a sudden then they hear a loud noise and are crushed by the dune. It doesn’t take long for the Asgardians to bash their way out of the sand.Standing there is A giant six armed robot. Voltron gives them the bring it signal with all six hands. Big mistake. As the “worthy” gets a hold of them and smash the remaining Gladiator Voltrons to bit’s. Seeing his oportunity the Chaos king makes this move barreling towards The Serpent and his worthy. Before he get close enough for the Asgardians to notice him, Anti-Matter snatches him out of thin air. The Chaos kings is desperately trying to escape.
Anti-Matter : MMMMMHHHHH I‘ve never had Entity before.
Anti- Matter quickly sucks all of the energy out of the Chaos king
Anti-Matter: BEEELLLLLCCCCHHHHH!
Soranik Natu: Matt we need to find vader if we are going to have any chance at surviving.
Matt Oblak: Don’t worry everything will be over soon.
As Soranik Natu turns Anti-Matter steps on her as is he were putting out a cigarette.
All members of the Kennelz gather round as Matt Oblak Kneels down, removes his armor, and the uses his light saber to commit seppuku. Fremen #1 aids him.
Fremen#1: It was a good death.
Just as the Backyardigans enter their Locker room they are immediately confronted by the charred mostly dismembered body of Pre-Suit Darth Vader. He was still hooked up to a car batter . It Appears to be a message from the Kennelz
Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve are: Fremen #1, Anti-Monitor, The Serpent
The Worthy: Skadi: Herald of the Serpent (Merged w/ Shao Khan via hammer)
Nul: Breaker of Worlds (Merged w/ Beast Wars Megatron via hammer)
Angir: Breaker of Souls (Merged w/ Beast Man via hammer)
Greithoth: Breaker of Wills (Merged w/Marv via hammer)
Both teams are dropped about a mile apart. Fremen#1 disappears once he steps foot on the sand. The Voltrons take to the sky to scout for enemies. Soranik Natu incases herself and pre suit Vader in a force field . They two take to the sky’s to scout. Chaos king seems to disappear into a different realm. That may be cheating but I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I saw. Zombie Abomination must have no recollection of his previous life cause he’s just sitting on the ground using his own pee to make sand castles.
Gladiator Voltron # 4 detects life forms just Below him.
Voltron#:4 Guys I just spotted a barrel of fish. I can‘t resist, should only be about 5 min ill catch up with you.
Gladiator Voltron#1: Rodger, Rodger.
Gladiator Voltron#:4 Fly’s down and lands right on top of his target. His suit still shows signs of life, worried his suit has malfunctioning he runs some diagnostic tests. That’s when Dr. Teresa Oblak and her Husband Matthew Oblak Bust from the sand and slash the Robot, zord, or whatever you call it to pieces. The carnage doesn’t stop there, The Oblaks storm the zords control room and massacre all the surviving operators
They embrace each other and Teresa says “ we make the best team”. Matt frowns and say’s I know and that’s why this is so hard. Before Teresa has a chance to respond, Matt presses his light saber against her liver and turns its on.
Teresa: Bbabaaaby WWHHWHY.
Matt Oblak: You know I love you, but I am 0-2. I just can’t lose this week, Trust me, it will all be worth it when I bring home the trophy, I’ll even let you touch it, LOVE YOU! STABE STABE STABE
Zombie Abomination gets a whiff of the fresh blood and race’s towards it at supper human speeds Just as it looks like he s going to get a two for one deal, Matt Oblak spin’s in just enough time to use his light sabers to scissor the top of Zombie Abomination’s head killing him instantly.
Gladiator Voltron#1 has spotted The Serpent and his worthy. He calls for his comrades to report to his location, but only 2 arrive.
Gladiator Voltron:1: What the hell happened to the others?
Gladiator Voltron:3: Well 5 just disappeared, and 4 got hacked to pieces.
Gladiator Voltron:1: Forget that right now we need to think about surviving, well bury them later. Right now we need to take these a**holes out. I am pretty sure we can still form Voltron with just the three of us.
MEANWHIALE………
Fear-Itself is at the base of a sand dune discussing tactics….When all of a sudden then they hear a loud noise and are crushed by the dune. It doesn’t take long for the Asgardians to bash their way out of the sand.Standing there is A giant six armed robot. Voltron gives them the bring it signal with all six hands. Big mistake. As the “worthy” gets a hold of them and smash the remaining Gladiator Voltrons to bit’s. Seeing his oportunity the Chaos king makes this move barreling towards The Serpent and his worthy. Before he get close enough for the Asgardians to notice him, Anti-Matter snatches him out of thin air. The Chaos kings is desperately trying to escape.
Anti-Matter : MMMMMHHHHH I‘ve never had Entity before.
Anti- Matter quickly sucks all of the energy out of the Chaos king
Anti-Matter: BEEELLLLLCCCCHHHHH!
Soranik Natu: Matt we need to find vader if we are going to have any chance at surviving.
Matt Oblak: Don’t worry everything will be over soon.
As Soranik Natu turns Anti-Matter steps on her as is he were putting out a cigarette.
All members of the Kennelz gather round as Matt Oblak Kneels down, removes his armor, and the uses his light saber to commit seppuku. Fremen #1 aids him.
Fremen#1: It was a good death.
Just as the Backyardigans enter their Locker room they are immediately confronted by the charred mostly dismembered body of Pre-Suit Darth Vader. He was still hooked up to a car batter . It Appears to be a message from the Kennelz
Season Five, Week Three: The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos
The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets is: The Phoenix Force, Stilgar, Bat-Mite, Durge, Azazel, Dr. Liet Kynes, Dr. Pardot Kynes, Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola, Fremen #52-56, and Doozer #8.
Miley and Barack’s Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Deadman, Star Sapphire Fatality, Surtur, Heimdall, and The Captain (Immell #5) w/Captain America's Shield.
The sun begins to set as Heimdall, ever patient, sets his gaze upon the sprawling horizon as the dry desert air whips across the arid land. Quietly he waits upon a rock formation for the oncoming battle to which he already knows the outcome of. Katniss Everdeen flies up to him, courtesy of the Green Lantern Ring that chose her after the passing of her teammate, Taa, in last season’s playoffs. She’s hoping to gains some insight about today’s match from him.
“Heimdall, the look on your face?” says Katniss to her Asgardian teammate. “I know this pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?”
The vigilant protector of the Bifrost Bridge slowly turns his attention to the teenager and calmly speaks, “No one can change your life except for you. Don’t ever let anyone step all over you.”
Filled with emotion, the green aura surrounding Katniss glows brighter in the fading sun’s light. “Heimdall, just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”
“Young Katniss,” Heimdall bellows with his smooth baritone voice, “Some day, somebody’s going to make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?”
Shocked by Heimdall’s bluntness and cold response, Katniss replies, “Don’t you know? Don’t you know things can change? Things will go our way if we just hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day?”
Heimdall then drops to one knee and grunts in pain as he puts his hand to his head. “Unngggh. Katniss…. I feel strange.”
“I know that there is pain, Heimdall,” she replies. “But you hold on for one more day and break free the chains.”
“Hahahaha that was classic guys,” laughs Bat-Mite who appears out of thin air right behind Heimdall’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I was able to get you two to hold an entire conversation by using only lyrics from the phenomenal song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Seriously, I’m crying from laughing so hard.”
The Asgardian’s grip on his sword tightens as his eyes burn with rage from such an invasion of his mind. Heimdall whips around and tries to remove Bat-Mite’s annoyingly big head from his annoyingly tiny frame, but the Imp from the 5th Dimension disappears just a quickly as he arrived. However Heimdall’s thirst for battle is soon quenched as Azazel teleports in with Durge, Doozer #8, the Kynes trio, Stilgar and his team of Fremen. Katniss flies up into the air and creates a green energy bow along with a quiver full of arrows. She quickly fires off several arrows, but the Fremen easily evade them. The rest of the Commandos led by Earth 2 Superman and Optimus Prime, rush in to aid their outnumbered comrades. The now cold night sky is filled with sand and dust that is being violently kicked up by the ferocious battle. Star Sapphire Fatality flies in and overwhelms Durge with a massive blast of violet energy, leaving nothing behind but a charred helmet.
Several puffs of red and black brimstone smoke surround The Captain, as he finds himself quickly on defense from Azazel’s dual sabers attack. The demonic mutant swipes furiously at the genetically spliced clone of Capt. Steve Rogers and Steve Yzerman, but The Captain blocks every blow with Captain America’s shield, a weapon that was bequeathed to him last season when the First Avenger fell in battle. The Immell is no match for the nearly immortal demon, as Azazel tires of this contest, grabs a hold of Steve’s shield, teleports it away and then reappears, driving both sabers into his opponent’s chest. Azazel then teleports away in attempts to ambush Heimdall. However this attack does not go quite as easily. Heimdall is fully aware of this attempt and readies his sword. The moment Azazel reappears, the Asgardian swings his mighty sword and cleaves Azazel in two. The red and black brimstone whisks through the air as Heimdall finishes through with his swing. The two halves of the Evil Midgets member tumble across the desert floor as the Dune squad advances their attack on the Commandos’ Lantern trio.
Stilgar and the Fremen fluidly move through the desert, completely at home in this terrain as they continue to evade the ring wielders’ energy blasts. Dr. Liet Kynes, his Ghola and Dr. Pardot Kynes triple team White Lantern Deadman as Stilgar and his Fremen attack Katniss and Fatality. Fremen #54 is taken out by several well placed green energy arrows as Fremen #52 and #56 are downed by Fatality’s more straight forward violet energy blasts. Stilgar flanks to the left and quickly ascend up to the top of a jagged rock that is jutting out of the sand. He silently leaps off of it as Fremen #55 is fending off Fatality. Stilgar, draws his crysknife from its sheath and plunges it deep into the back of Fatality. They both fall to the ground as Stilgar stands up victorious over Fatality and sending her to the Graveyard. Her Star Sapphire ring removes itself from her fingers and flies back to the Commandos locker room, where it will find itself and new wielder. Katniss takes careful aim and fires a double arrow shot which manages to take out both remaining Fremen as White Lantern Deadman now finds himself on the business end of a four on one, as Stilgar joins his close friends, the Kynes. But there is increasing rumble that shakes the desert ground. Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola is then eradicated from a power blast as Optimus Prime rolls in, transforms and lands with a purposeful thud, driving a plume of sand into the air in all directions. And crushing Doozer #8 in the process, a happy accident for the Commandos co-captain in this endeavor. Bat-Mite reappears again to lend a hand as the Dune trio now find themselves out gunned. Bat-Mite fires a magical bolt at Optimus, but it’s blocked by Heimdall’s sword. Heimdall then uses his sword to unleash the blue flame from countless cosmic suns. Unprepared for such a retaliation, bat-mite is caught by surprise and is destroyed by it.
There is a rush of air that whips over the desert as Earth Two Superman swoops in and takes out the father-son duo of Dr. Pardot Kynes and Dr. Liet Kynes. Stilgar now valiantly stands alone as he sees his chances of survival dwindle to the point of nothingness as the thousand foot tall behemoth, Surtur finally arrives. Defiantly until the end, Stilgar lunges towards Katniss, but is blocked by White Lantern Deadman. Katniss then fires green energy arrow after green energy arrow in Stilgar until he finally falls to the desert ground.
The members of the Commandos look to congratulate each other on a well fought, yet dominating performance, but Kal-L sees a look of despair in the eyes of Heimdall.
“This is far from over,” Heimdall boldly says to the rest of the team. The night sky then begins to brighten. “It is coming. And it’s coming to end us all.”
“What’s coming?” asks Katniss.
Heimdall looks up to the sky and says, “The Phoenix Force.”
And just as the Asgardian speaks those words, the cosmic entity makes its presence known and certainly felt. The Phoenix Force screeches through the sky and without even slowing down, completely and utterly annihilates Surtur. Optimus Prime looks at Earth Two Superman as they both know what must be done. Prime opens his chest up and pulls the Autobot Matrix of Leadership out. Earth Two Superman then uses is incredible strength to perform the world’s most unbelievable “Fastball Special.” Optimus soars through the air on a direct collision course with the Phoenix. He pulls the Matrix open and unleashes its full power. Heimdall takes aim with his sword and fires a joining shot as Katniss and White Lantern Deadman fly in to flank Optimus. Earth Two Superman leaps into the air and flies in as well to aid against this insurmountable attack. The Phoenix Force shrieks as the five different energy sources slam into it. But the cosmic entity continues to scorch the night sky and everything in its path. There is then a massive explosion that is so hot the desert sand is literally melted into sheet of glass. Earth Two Superman’s unconscious body falls from the heavens and impacts the ground with such force, the glass shatters through out the battlefield. Though unconscious, Kal-L miraculously manages to survive the near extinction of his team in what was once appeared to be an easy victory for the Commandos.
Miley and Barack’s Commandos are: Earth 2 Superman, Optimus Prime (Orion Pax), Katniss Everdeen w/Green Lantern ring, White Lantern Deadman, Star Sapphire Fatality, Surtur, Heimdall, and The Captain (Immell #5) w/Captain America's Shield.
The sun begins to set as Heimdall, ever patient, sets his gaze upon the sprawling horizon as the dry desert air whips across the arid land. Quietly he waits upon a rock formation for the oncoming battle to which he already knows the outcome of. Katniss Everdeen flies up to him, courtesy of the Green Lantern Ring that chose her after the passing of her teammate, Taa, in last season’s playoffs. She’s hoping to gains some insight about today’s match from him.
“Heimdall, the look on your face?” says Katniss to her Asgardian teammate. “I know this pain. Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?”
The vigilant protector of the Bifrost Bridge slowly turns his attention to the teenager and calmly speaks, “No one can change your life except for you. Don’t ever let anyone step all over you.”
Filled with emotion, the green aura surrounding Katniss glows brighter in the fading sun’s light. “Heimdall, just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”
“Young Katniss,” Heimdall bellows with his smooth baritone voice, “Some day, somebody’s going to make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make you cry?”
Shocked by Heimdall’s bluntness and cold response, Katniss replies, “Don’t you know? Don’t you know things can change? Things will go our way if we just hold on for one more day. Can you hold on for one more day?”
Heimdall then drops to one knee and grunts in pain as he puts his hand to his head. “Unngggh. Katniss…. I feel strange.”
“I know that there is pain, Heimdall,” she replies. “But you hold on for one more day and break free the chains.”
“Hahahaha that was classic guys,” laughs Bat-Mite who appears out of thin air right behind Heimdall’s shoulder. “I can’t believe I was able to get you two to hold an entire conversation by using only lyrics from the phenomenal song “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. Seriously, I’m crying from laughing so hard.”
The Asgardian’s grip on his sword tightens as his eyes burn with rage from such an invasion of his mind. Heimdall whips around and tries to remove Bat-Mite’s annoyingly big head from his annoyingly tiny frame, but the Imp from the 5th Dimension disappears just a quickly as he arrived. However Heimdall’s thirst for battle is soon quenched as Azazel teleports in with Durge, Doozer #8, the Kynes trio, Stilgar and his team of Fremen. Katniss flies up into the air and creates a green energy bow along with a quiver full of arrows. She quickly fires off several arrows, but the Fremen easily evade them. The rest of the Commandos led by Earth 2 Superman and Optimus Prime, rush in to aid their outnumbered comrades. The now cold night sky is filled with sand and dust that is being violently kicked up by the ferocious battle. Star Sapphire Fatality flies in and overwhelms Durge with a massive blast of violet energy, leaving nothing behind but a charred helmet.
Several puffs of red and black brimstone smoke surround The Captain, as he finds himself quickly on defense from Azazel’s dual sabers attack. The demonic mutant swipes furiously at the genetically spliced clone of Capt. Steve Rogers and Steve Yzerman, but The Captain blocks every blow with Captain America’s shield, a weapon that was bequeathed to him last season when the First Avenger fell in battle. The Immell is no match for the nearly immortal demon, as Azazel tires of this contest, grabs a hold of Steve’s shield, teleports it away and then reappears, driving both sabers into his opponent’s chest. Azazel then teleports away in attempts to ambush Heimdall. However this attack does not go quite as easily. Heimdall is fully aware of this attempt and readies his sword. The moment Azazel reappears, the Asgardian swings his mighty sword and cleaves Azazel in two. The red and black brimstone whisks through the air as Heimdall finishes through with his swing. The two halves of the Evil Midgets member tumble across the desert floor as the Dune squad advances their attack on the Commandos’ Lantern trio.
Stilgar and the Fremen fluidly move through the desert, completely at home in this terrain as they continue to evade the ring wielders’ energy blasts. Dr. Liet Kynes, his Ghola and Dr. Pardot Kynes triple team White Lantern Deadman as Stilgar and his Fremen attack Katniss and Fatality. Fremen #54 is taken out by several well placed green energy arrows as Fremen #52 and #56 are downed by Fatality’s more straight forward violet energy blasts. Stilgar flanks to the left and quickly ascend up to the top of a jagged rock that is jutting out of the sand. He silently leaps off of it as Fremen #55 is fending off Fatality. Stilgar, draws his crysknife from its sheath and plunges it deep into the back of Fatality. They both fall to the ground as Stilgar stands up victorious over Fatality and sending her to the Graveyard. Her Star Sapphire ring removes itself from her fingers and flies back to the Commandos locker room, where it will find itself and new wielder. Katniss takes careful aim and fires a double arrow shot which manages to take out both remaining Fremen as White Lantern Deadman now finds himself on the business end of a four on one, as Stilgar joins his close friends, the Kynes. But there is increasing rumble that shakes the desert ground. Dr. Liet Kynes Ghola is then eradicated from a power blast as Optimus Prime rolls in, transforms and lands with a purposeful thud, driving a plume of sand into the air in all directions. And crushing Doozer #8 in the process, a happy accident for the Commandos co-captain in this endeavor. Bat-Mite reappears again to lend a hand as the Dune trio now find themselves out gunned. Bat-Mite fires a magical bolt at Optimus, but it’s blocked by Heimdall’s sword. Heimdall then uses his sword to unleash the blue flame from countless cosmic suns. Unprepared for such a retaliation, bat-mite is caught by surprise and is destroyed by it.
There is a rush of air that whips over the desert as Earth Two Superman swoops in and takes out the father-son duo of Dr. Pardot Kynes and Dr. Liet Kynes. Stilgar now valiantly stands alone as he sees his chances of survival dwindle to the point of nothingness as the thousand foot tall behemoth, Surtur finally arrives. Defiantly until the end, Stilgar lunges towards Katniss, but is blocked by White Lantern Deadman. Katniss then fires green energy arrow after green energy arrow in Stilgar until he finally falls to the desert ground.
The members of the Commandos look to congratulate each other on a well fought, yet dominating performance, but Kal-L sees a look of despair in the eyes of Heimdall.
“This is far from over,” Heimdall boldly says to the rest of the team. The night sky then begins to brighten. “It is coming. And it’s coming to end us all.”
“What’s coming?” asks Katniss.
Heimdall looks up to the sky and says, “The Phoenix Force.”
And just as the Asgardian speaks those words, the cosmic entity makes its presence known and certainly felt. The Phoenix Force screeches through the sky and without even slowing down, completely and utterly annihilates Surtur. Optimus Prime looks at Earth Two Superman as they both know what must be done. Prime opens his chest up and pulls the Autobot Matrix of Leadership out. Earth Two Superman then uses is incredible strength to perform the world’s most unbelievable “Fastball Special.” Optimus soars through the air on a direct collision course with the Phoenix. He pulls the Matrix open and unleashes its full power. Heimdall takes aim with his sword and fires a joining shot as Katniss and White Lantern Deadman fly in to flank Optimus. Earth Two Superman leaps into the air and flies in as well to aid against this insurmountable attack. The Phoenix Force shrieks as the five different energy sources slam into it. But the cosmic entity continues to scorch the night sky and everything in its path. There is then a massive explosion that is so hot the desert sand is literally melted into sheet of glass. Earth Two Superman’s unconscious body falls from the heavens and impacts the ground with such force, the glass shatters through out the battlefield. Though unconscious, Kal-L miraculously manages to survive the near extinction of his team in what was once appeared to be an easy victory for the Commandos.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Season 5, Week 3: George Washington's Slaves vs. Better Than All of You
“Raahr. Raahr. Raaahr.”
-Azrael the Cat
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in the Desert. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Cassandra Nova (with Demon Rod), Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Sandworms #15, #16, #17, #18, #19 and #20, and Azrael the Cat.
Better Than All of You: Father of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Space Godzilla, Blade with red lightsaber (from the Masters of the Universe movie), Granny Goodness, Female Furies: Gilotina, Lashina with Atlas Axe, Stompa with Heat Axe, Bernadeth with Halberd and Mad Harriet.
Let the battle begin. . .
Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez (hereinafter “JSVLR”) sees the Female Furies and smiles. He brings his sword out from its scabbard.
JSVLR: I am Juan Sánchez Villa Lobos RamÃrez, Chief metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain and I'm at your service.
Gilotina crouches down and slowly moves her hands in a combat stance. The swords of JSVLR and Gilotina dance. Due to the hundreds of years of practice before, JSVLR gains the upper hand and eventually manages to strike the swords out of Gilotina’s hands. He kicks her to the ground.
JSVLR: There is nothing better than a b@tch on the ground before me!
Just as JSVLR is about to thrust his sword into Gilotina, Lashina uses her electronically charged whips on the immortal. The whips grab JSVLR and the charge vibrates throughout his body. JSVLR screams and drops his sword. Kol Skywalker rushes to the scene and uses his lightsaber to slice through the whips. Lashina brings out her Atlas Axe, but is too late as the Jedi cuts her and her weapon in half. Blade comes to the fray and uses his lightsaber against Skywalker. The two fighter’s blades clash, but Kol gains the upper hand against the MOTU character. Just as Kol is about to kill his foe, Bernadeth throws her fahren knife at the Jedi. The knife strikes Skywalker in the chest and he shouts in agony as he burns from the inside out. Mad Harriet wields her energy claws at the enemy. She is about to lash out at JSVLR when she trips on Azrael the Cat, who walks behind her. As Mad Harriet is about to get up, Azrael hisses. The cat’s victory is short lived as Stompa crushes the animal beneath her boot. Stompa’s decimation of Azrael causes a seismic shift in the sands below. The sands explode upward around the combatants, blinding all parties.
The combatants gain their footing just in time for Sandworm #15 to burst from the ground. Space Godzilla focuses on Sandworm #15. Space Godzilla is joined by Son of Mortis and Daughter of Mortis in their doppelganger modes. The immense creatures combine their strengths with one another and manage to slowly tear apart the Dune inhabitant. Sandworm #15 bucks, but Godzilla deals the death blow and kills the beast. Thinking that their task is done with Sandworm #15, Son of Mortis and Daughter of Mortis transform into their humanoid forms. As they smile at one another, they are engulfed by Sandworms #16 and 17 and killed.
Granny Goodness sees JSVLR. JSVLR smiles at the old, ugly woman before him. Goodness races over to JSVLR and breaks his neck before he can make a snide remark. She then looks to Gilotina who exacts her revenge and slices his head off his body with her bear hands. Gilotina turns only to see her own head being taken from her body by Shado Vao’s lightsaber. Granny Goodness screams and rushes Vao. She is held in place as Cassandra Nova uses her telekinetic powers to grab hold of the Darkseidian elite member. Goodness is then cut in half by Vao while she is held in place by Nova.
Nova holds her demon rod in place while Vao has his lightsaber. They face the remaining Furies and Blade. Vao manages to kill Mad Harriet, but loses his life to Stompa’s heat axe and the combined weaponry of Bernadeth’s halberd and fahren knife. As Blade and the women approach Nova to complete their deadly task, Nova reaches out to beneath the sands. In a miraculous minute, the Sandworms strike at precisely the correct time and focused on the sole individuals above them. Nova levitates above the ground as Sandworms #16, 17 and 18 burst forth. Sandworm #16 engulfs Bernadeth, who loses her weapons (and life) in the effort. Sandworm #17 destroys Blade. Sandworm #18 kills Stompa before she can shift her feet.
Father of Mortis is now riding Space Godzilla. Nova lands on Sandworm #19. The two forces battle one another and through the Force and sheer brutality, they manage to destroy Sandworm #19. Nova lands on Sandworm #20 after the skirmish, who manages to finish the job, with the assistance of the remaining Sandworms.
-Azrael the Cat
I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 5, Week 3 Match located in the Desert. They are as follows:
George Washington’s Slaves: Kol Skywalker, Shado Vao, Cassandra Nova (with Demon Rod), Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez, Sandworms #15, #16, #17, #18, #19 and #20, and Azrael the Cat.
Better Than All of You: Father of Mortis, Daughter of Mortis, Son of Mortis, Space Godzilla, Blade with red lightsaber (from the Masters of the Universe movie), Granny Goodness, Female Furies: Gilotina, Lashina with Atlas Axe, Stompa with Heat Axe, Bernadeth with Halberd and Mad Harriet.
Let the battle begin. . .
Juan Sanchez Villa Lobos Ramirez (hereinafter “JSVLR”) sees the Female Furies and smiles. He brings his sword out from its scabbard.
JSVLR: I am Juan Sánchez Villa Lobos RamÃrez, Chief metallurgist to King Charles V of Spain and I'm at your service.
Gilotina crouches down and slowly moves her hands in a combat stance. The swords of JSVLR and Gilotina dance. Due to the hundreds of years of practice before, JSVLR gains the upper hand and eventually manages to strike the swords out of Gilotina’s hands. He kicks her to the ground.
JSVLR: There is nothing better than a b@tch on the ground before me!
Just as JSVLR is about to thrust his sword into Gilotina, Lashina uses her electronically charged whips on the immortal. The whips grab JSVLR and the charge vibrates throughout his body. JSVLR screams and drops his sword. Kol Skywalker rushes to the scene and uses his lightsaber to slice through the whips. Lashina brings out her Atlas Axe, but is too late as the Jedi cuts her and her weapon in half. Blade comes to the fray and uses his lightsaber against Skywalker. The two fighter’s blades clash, but Kol gains the upper hand against the MOTU character. Just as Kol is about to kill his foe, Bernadeth throws her fahren knife at the Jedi. The knife strikes Skywalker in the chest and he shouts in agony as he burns from the inside out. Mad Harriet wields her energy claws at the enemy. She is about to lash out at JSVLR when she trips on Azrael the Cat, who walks behind her. As Mad Harriet is about to get up, Azrael hisses. The cat’s victory is short lived as Stompa crushes the animal beneath her boot. Stompa’s decimation of Azrael causes a seismic shift in the sands below. The sands explode upward around the combatants, blinding all parties.
The combatants gain their footing just in time for Sandworm #15 to burst from the ground. Space Godzilla focuses on Sandworm #15. Space Godzilla is joined by Son of Mortis and Daughter of Mortis in their doppelganger modes. The immense creatures combine their strengths with one another and manage to slowly tear apart the Dune inhabitant. Sandworm #15 bucks, but Godzilla deals the death blow and kills the beast. Thinking that their task is done with Sandworm #15, Son of Mortis and Daughter of Mortis transform into their humanoid forms. As they smile at one another, they are engulfed by Sandworms #16 and 17 and killed.
Granny Goodness sees JSVLR. JSVLR smiles at the old, ugly woman before him. Goodness races over to JSVLR and breaks his neck before he can make a snide remark. She then looks to Gilotina who exacts her revenge and slices his head off his body with her bear hands. Gilotina turns only to see her own head being taken from her body by Shado Vao’s lightsaber. Granny Goodness screams and rushes Vao. She is held in place as Cassandra Nova uses her telekinetic powers to grab hold of the Darkseidian elite member. Goodness is then cut in half by Vao while she is held in place by Nova.
Nova holds her demon rod in place while Vao has his lightsaber. They face the remaining Furies and Blade. Vao manages to kill Mad Harriet, but loses his life to Stompa’s heat axe and the combined weaponry of Bernadeth’s halberd and fahren knife. As Blade and the women approach Nova to complete their deadly task, Nova reaches out to beneath the sands. In a miraculous minute, the Sandworms strike at precisely the correct time and focused on the sole individuals above them. Nova levitates above the ground as Sandworms #16, 17 and 18 burst forth. Sandworm #16 engulfs Bernadeth, who loses her weapons (and life) in the effort. Sandworm #17 destroys Blade. Sandworm #18 kills Stompa before she can shift her feet.
Father of Mortis is now riding Space Godzilla. Nova lands on Sandworm #19. The two forces battle one another and through the Force and sheer brutality, they manage to destroy Sandworm #19. Nova lands on Sandworm #20 after the skirmish, who manages to finish the job, with the assistance of the remaining Sandworms.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Season 5 week 3- Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family vs Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family is:
White Lantern Batman
Kingdom Come Wonder Woman
Kingdom Come King Marvel
Kingdom Come Lady Marvel
Kingdom Come Power Woman
Kingdom Come Donna Troy
Fremen #64, 65, 66, 67, 68 & 69
The Allia Atreides Ghola
Ant Man II
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are:
Quintus Lentulus Batiatus
Lucretia Batiatus
Spartacus
Crixus
Gannicus
Oenomaus (Doctore)
Agron
Barca
Varro
Naevia
Mira
Melitta
Jawa #1
Jawa #2
Jawa #3
Jawa #4
Jawa #5
Jawa #6
Sandworm #1
Sandworm #2
Sandworm #3
Sandworm #4
Sandworm #5
"Spartacus" says Onomaus "I have returned from scouting. There is much to tell you"
"Well, out with it." replies Spartacus "What have you learned of our foes?"
"It is as you thought, they have massive amounts of power, but seem to lack honor. As I left the ones deemed King and Lady Marvel were taking their time torturing and maiming the scouts of Jawas we sent. Mira and Melitta were also slain by the representatives of the Amazons-Wonder Woman and the one called Donna Troy."
"Amazons" sneers Spartacus as his spits on the ground "we shall see how they fare against one more adapt at battle "Come Onomaus, let us make our way to the battle. Quintis, Lucretia. You and the small hooded one know what to do"
"Utinni!!" proclaims the final surviving Jawa, Jawa #4 solemnly.
The two stalk towards the current massacre that Layander is subjecting the Murderflies to. It's beyond vile and disgusting what's being done to the Murderflies.
"AMAZONS!" bellows Spartacus "I have always know you to be without honor, this display proves it. You DARE to inflict such carnage unto being with lesser power and prowess than you."
"Watch your tone, Spartacus." warns KC Wonder Woman. "Else you be forced to back up your words"
"I fear nothing, cow" Spartacus shoots back "You Amazons are craven and honor less. You disgrace the sands with this so-called battle. I vow to avenge my fallen teammates by taking you on in a one on one contest. Lest you consider a fair fight in your skill set."
"Diana, careful" urges KC Donna Troy "Spartacus is a strong warrior, and a wily competitor."
"You may be right" begins KC Wonder Woman when all of a sudden a spear flies through the air and goes right though KC Donna Troy's eye socket.
"Enough talk, Amazon. I crave action and vengeance" proclaims Spartacus
"You have made a grave error" growls KC Wondy "LAYANDER! GATHER ROUND AND WITNESS THE FURY OF AN AMAZON'S RAGE"
"Perfect" smirks Spartacus "Wait for my signal, then do as we discussed." he says to Oenomaus
"Aye, may the gods protect you Spartacus"
"And you, now make haste. I don't think I can hold her long"
With that Spartacus saunters into the circle of Layander's still perfectly in tact team. He sees the corpses of his teammates Crixus, Gannicus, Agron, Barca, Varro, Naevia, Mira, the Jawas and Melitta strewn about and defiled by the sadistic Kitties. As he says a silent prayer for the fallen, White Lantern Batman catches his eye. He mouths an apology to Spartacus, but Spartacus just ignores him and steadies himself for battle.
"Prepared to die?" asks KC Wonder Woman
"After you, harlot" he calmly replies
The two launch into a fierce, pitched battle the clang of swords reverberates across the desert. During the fight Spartacus screams out about "The gods of the sands preserve me!!" and Oenomaus hurries back to his three awaiting teammates.
Spartacus puts forth a valiant battle, but KC Wonder Woman is simply no match for him. She batters him about, and the pulls him in close
"Any last words, fool?" she says
"Yes. I'll see you all in HELL" he screams and spits blood in her face.
Wonder Woman's face twists into a rage as she grabs Spartacus' head and prepares to snap his neck, when all of a sudden, the ground begins to quake and Allia Atreides Ghola's eyes widen in terror
"Oh gods! No!! NOOOOoooOOOO!!!" she screams, but it's too late. The desert floor explodes as the Murderflies Sandworms are released into the battlefield and begins to lay waste to the sitting ducks of Layander.
"Gods" whimpers Wonder Woman who drops Spartacus to the sand as the massive Sandworm #1 opens it's jaws to devour them both.
"T'was a good day, to die" says the broken Spartacus as he tumbles with Wonder Woman down the massive creatures throat.
"Utinni" says Jawa #4 after the attack, and salutes his fallen comrade.
White Lantern Batman
Kingdom Come Wonder Woman
Kingdom Come King Marvel
Kingdom Come Lady Marvel
Kingdom Come Power Woman
Kingdom Come Donna Troy
Fremen #64, 65, 66, 67, 68 & 69
The Allia Atreides Ghola
Ant Man II
Brock Samson's Fighting Murderflies are:
Quintus Lentulus Batiatus
Lucretia Batiatus
Spartacus
Crixus
Gannicus
Oenomaus (Doctore)
Agron
Barca
Varro
Naevia
Mira
Melitta
Jawa #1
Jawa #2
Jawa #3
Jawa #4
Jawa #5
Jawa #6
Sandworm #1
Sandworm #2
Sandworm #3
Sandworm #4
Sandworm #5
"Spartacus" says Onomaus "I have returned from scouting. There is much to tell you"
"Well, out with it." replies Spartacus "What have you learned of our foes?"
"It is as you thought, they have massive amounts of power, but seem to lack honor. As I left the ones deemed King and Lady Marvel were taking their time torturing and maiming the scouts of Jawas we sent. Mira and Melitta were also slain by the representatives of the Amazons-Wonder Woman and the one called Donna Troy."
"Amazons" sneers Spartacus as his spits on the ground "we shall see how they fare against one more adapt at battle "Come Onomaus, let us make our way to the battle. Quintis, Lucretia. You and the small hooded one know what to do"
"Utinni!!" proclaims the final surviving Jawa, Jawa #4 solemnly.
The two stalk towards the current massacre that Layander is subjecting the Murderflies to. It's beyond vile and disgusting what's being done to the Murderflies.
"AMAZONS!" bellows Spartacus "I have always know you to be without honor, this display proves it. You DARE to inflict such carnage unto being with lesser power and prowess than you."
"Watch your tone, Spartacus." warns KC Wonder Woman. "Else you be forced to back up your words"
"I fear nothing, cow" Spartacus shoots back "You Amazons are craven and honor less. You disgrace the sands with this so-called battle. I vow to avenge my fallen teammates by taking you on in a one on one contest. Lest you consider a fair fight in your skill set."
"Diana, careful" urges KC Donna Troy "Spartacus is a strong warrior, and a wily competitor."
"You may be right" begins KC Wonder Woman when all of a sudden a spear flies through the air and goes right though KC Donna Troy's eye socket.
"Enough talk, Amazon. I crave action and vengeance" proclaims Spartacus
"You have made a grave error" growls KC Wondy "LAYANDER! GATHER ROUND AND WITNESS THE FURY OF AN AMAZON'S RAGE"
"Perfect" smirks Spartacus "Wait for my signal, then do as we discussed." he says to Oenomaus
"Aye, may the gods protect you Spartacus"
"And you, now make haste. I don't think I can hold her long"
With that Spartacus saunters into the circle of Layander's still perfectly in tact team. He sees the corpses of his teammates Crixus, Gannicus, Agron, Barca, Varro, Naevia, Mira, the Jawas and Melitta strewn about and defiled by the sadistic Kitties. As he says a silent prayer for the fallen, White Lantern Batman catches his eye. He mouths an apology to Spartacus, but Spartacus just ignores him and steadies himself for battle.
"Prepared to die?" asks KC Wonder Woman
"After you, harlot" he calmly replies
The two launch into a fierce, pitched battle the clang of swords reverberates across the desert. During the fight Spartacus screams out about "The gods of the sands preserve me!!" and Oenomaus hurries back to his three awaiting teammates.
Spartacus puts forth a valiant battle, but KC Wonder Woman is simply no match for him. She batters him about, and the pulls him in close
"Any last words, fool?" she says
"Yes. I'll see you all in HELL" he screams and spits blood in her face.
Wonder Woman's face twists into a rage as she grabs Spartacus' head and prepares to snap his neck, when all of a sudden, the ground begins to quake and Allia Atreides Ghola's eyes widen in terror
"Oh gods! No!! NOOOOoooOOOO!!!" she screams, but it's too late. The desert floor explodes as the Murderflies Sandworms are released into the battlefield and begins to lay waste to the sitting ducks of Layander.
"Gods" whimpers Wonder Woman who drops Spartacus to the sand as the massive Sandworm #1 opens it's jaws to devour them both.
"T'was a good day, to die" says the broken Spartacus as he tumbles with Wonder Woman down the massive creatures throat.
"Utinni" says Jawa #4 after the attack, and salutes his fallen comrade.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Week Three Schedule
WEEK Three: Desert
300 Points
Prize: M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher
Horsemen of Apokolips vs The Transfoamers (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Ryan)
Logical Genocide vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Becks)
TEAM vs Xavier’s Annihilation Squad (Goof)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Seeney)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Josh)
300 Points
Prize: M202A1 FLASH Rocket Launcher
Horsemen of Apokolips vs The Transfoamers (Josh)
Better Than All of You vs George Washington’s Slaves (Becks)
Brotherhood of Evil Midgets vs Miley Cyrus and President Barack Obama’s “Best of Both Worlds” Touring Battalion of Commandos (Ryan)
Logical Genocide vs Tijuana Taco Benders (Becks)
TEAM vs Xavier’s Annihilation Squad (Goof)
Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve (Griffin)
Brock Samson’s Fighting Murderflies vs Layander’s Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together To Make a New Family (Seeney)
Griffin’s High Maintenance Dope Fiends and Destroyers vs Team Sleeping Pussy (Josh)
Spoiler Sport- FFL Week Two Wrap Up.
This is the Ocho, my name is Cotton, and THIS is your week two Fantasy Fantasy League wrap up. Let's get to it.
We start with our "Match of the Week" Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to make a New Family vs Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches had a pulse pounding, high octane face off that saw a very game Orange Kitties really take the fight to the former FFL Champions B3. But, sole survivor Wolverine really put on a clinic this week, showing why B3 is 2-0 this season. Hella of a contest and a hard fought win for the Beeyatches.
Another big story this week is the emergence of white power this week, as we saw the FFL debuts of White Lantern Hal Jordan for "The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets", White Lantern Sinestro for "The Horsemen of Apokolips", and White Lantern Batman starting for " Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to make a New Family". It's looking like having former experience ring slinging really helps one utilizing this weapon, as both Hal and Sinestro found themselves not only on the winning side, but surviving the match up, while Batman found death and defeat.
This leads into our final segment for the week. Controversy abounded this week following the Midgets/Transfoamers match up, as White Lantern Hal Jordan revived fallen teammate Joey Potter to "protect the sanctity of life". This lead to speculation between watchers that this could lead to a possible new, unplanned addition to the Midgets, throwing commissioner Ryan Poteracki into a fit. "Unauthorized breeding between teammates is strictly prohibited" said the harried Commish "Not only with any "surprise" pregnancies be deemed ineligible for play but heavy, HEAVY penalties will be given to ANY team found 'Breeding for the Bowl' " This could make White Lantern Hal Jordan as possible liability for the Midgets, as Hal Jordan displays not only a callous disregard for authority figures, but testosterone walking as his sexual exploits as not only well know, but some are stuff of legend.
That'll do it for us. Again, I'm Cotton McKnight, thanks for watching "Spoiler Sport". Keep it locked in here to "The Ocho" as week three's Fantasy Fantasy League play in the desert gets ready to kick off later this week.
Thank you and good night.
We start with our "Match of the Week" Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to make a New Family vs Beckerman's Backyardigan Beeyatches had a pulse pounding, high octane face off that saw a very game Orange Kitties really take the fight to the former FFL Champions B3. But, sole survivor Wolverine really put on a clinic this week, showing why B3 is 2-0 this season. Hella of a contest and a hard fought win for the Beeyatches.
Another big story this week is the emergence of white power this week, as we saw the FFL debuts of White Lantern Hal Jordan for "The Brotherhood of Evil Midgets", White Lantern Sinestro for "The Horsemen of Apokolips", and White Lantern Batman starting for " Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to make a New Family". It's looking like having former experience ring slinging really helps one utilizing this weapon, as both Hal and Sinestro found themselves not only on the winning side, but surviving the match up, while Batman found death and defeat.
This leads into our final segment for the week. Controversy abounded this week following the Midgets/Transfoamers match up, as White Lantern Hal Jordan revived fallen teammate Joey Potter to "protect the sanctity of life". This lead to speculation between watchers that this could lead to a possible new, unplanned addition to the Midgets, throwing commissioner Ryan Poteracki into a fit. "Unauthorized breeding between teammates is strictly prohibited" said the harried Commish "Not only with any "surprise" pregnancies be deemed ineligible for play but heavy, HEAVY penalties will be given to ANY team found 'Breeding for the Bowl' " This could make White Lantern Hal Jordan as possible liability for the Midgets, as Hal Jordan displays not only a callous disregard for authority figures, but testosterone walking as his sexual exploits as not only well know, but some are stuff of legend.
That'll do it for us. Again, I'm Cotton McKnight, thanks for watching "Spoiler Sport". Keep it locked in here to "The Ocho" as week three's Fantasy Fantasy League play in the desert gets ready to kick off later this week.
Thank you and good night.
Logical Genocide Vs. George Washington's Slaves
Logical Genocide is Zombie General Zod, Golden Army Soldier #19-23, Guy Gardner (w/ a blue lantern ring), Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, Ewok #74 (AKA Jug Juggalo).
George Washington's Slaves are Ymir, Paul Bunyan and Babe, Shindor of Brontic, Santa Claus (w/ green and blue lightsabers (the latter used to belong to Ki Adi Mundi), Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Tim Cheveldae (w/ a sack of gungan boombas), Paul Coffey (w/ a green lightsaber), Bryan Murray (w/ a green lightsaber), Steve Yzerman (w/ Darth Nihilus' red lightsaber), and Tomar Tu.
Before the match begins Slaves Head Coach George Washington himself, personally approaches Santa Claus. “Santa, you don't have to do this ya know, it is early in the season. We have a formidable team without you this week. We are rolling out our first round draft pick Ymir, I mean you have seen this guy right? The huge frost giant! I just don't want to lose you and Rudolph. I know that we are fighting in your home of the North Poll, and it is important to you but..... (trailing off)... It's just that... I know how upset you have been since the loss of Corbin, not to mention your other eight reindeer... And... You have been such an important part of this team since day one, and the truth is that there is a good chance that if you go in to this match, that you may never come back”. “I don't intend to”. Santa replies... “I don't intend to”.
These words hang in the back of Gen. Washington's head as he watches his squad depart for the frozen tundra known as The North Poll.
Rudolph is nice and bulked up from an off-season of pulling a sleigh all by himself, not to mention the fact that there was enough reindeer food stockpiled in the Slaves' Headquarters to feed nine deer, not just himself. This is the reason, that Santa (who looks like he is fat and ready for Christmas Eve) is able to ride on the back of the red-nosed reindeer. The two of them take to the skies and fly high, just daring Logical Genocide to come and get the jolly old saint. Zombie General Zod takes off to search for Kris Kringle, but we will return to this pending battle soon enough.
Back down on the frozen ground, The five Golden Army Soldiers are logically chosen for the first wave of genocide against The Slaves. Bryan Murray rushes in first but realizes the hard way that The Golden Army Soldiers are just as tough as they look. The lightsaber wielding general manager (I still don't think of him as a coach) gets quickly crushed by the members of the Golden Army. Tim Cheveldae rushes in next, as ordered; but keeps his distance. He thinks back to the night before when Gen. Washington was giving him his instructions on what to do. Chev's initial response to the orders was: “But, Meesa no have a boomba”. “Here... Take um this one”!! The father of our country said to Tim as he handed him a sack of Gungan Boombas. Tim to the Timmy keeps this in mind as he begins clearing the boombas into The Golden Army's direction with his Goalie Stick. The Boombas work exceptionally well at slowing down The Golden Army, which is more than The Slaves require to work out step two of their plan. Ymir leads the charge as he crushes the stunned Golden Army Soldier #21 with all of his might. Paul Bunyan and Babe follow suit by taking out #19 and 22. Guy Gardner, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, and the clown make-up covered Jug Juggalo the Ewok attempt to act as a diversion against the giant slaves. This actually works to buy some time for the boomba-affected Golden Army Soldiers to regain their composure. And regain their composure they do as the two remaining mechanical soldiers attack Paul Bunyan and Babe from behind and rip them apart. Timothy Chevmeister begins to rush back to use his last few boombas but before he can Ymir demolishes Soldier #20, while Shindor of Brontic uses his lightsaber and Dark Jedi Powers to slice and dice Soldier #23 far beyond their ability to repair themselves. Zombie General Zod finally finds Santa within the cold North Poll Clouds, while Paul Coffey is using his green lightsaber, which he has attached to the end of his hockey stick to slash Jug Juggalo to death. Zombie General Zod rushes at Santa, with all the speed of a living Kryptonian, but Rudolph is able to evade him. Rudolph loops back around and begins to charge toward Zod in a strange game of mid-air chicken as they get closer, Santa ignites his two lightsabers, which flashes to many memories of his old-friends Ki Adi Mundi and Corbin Dallas. Santa waits until the last possible second to swing his lightsabers. With the aid of the Jedi Weapons, and a little Christmas Magic, St. Nicholas is able to remove the head of The Zombie Kryptonian General. “Ohhhh SNAP” Tomar Tu says as Zod's rotting head falls about two feet in front of him. The two Christmas Icons then fly back down toward the ground. “Let's finish this thing” Santa says to his old friend in that overly-dramatic dual meaning kind of way. Santa and Rudolph crash directly in to Guy Gardner whose Blue Ring's aura protects him from to much bodily harm, not that it keeps him from being knocked backward. “Well, I guess this blue ring is totally useless” Gardner says as he pulls out his two long-barreled revolvers. Guy Gardner then unloads both of his Magnum Revolvers in Santa and Rudolph's direction. Rudolph acts quickly by lunging up his chest and throwing Santa off of his back. Saving the life of his old friend by taking the brunt of the attack for himself. Seeing the bloody body of his last Reindeer sends Santa in to a rage. He ignites his lightsabers once again and yells “Step aside Slaves”!! as he decides that he will finish this match on his own. His teammates all listen out of respect as Santa and Guy Gardner's face prove that men chosen by the green lantern corps can most definitely contain fear. Santa makes quick work of Gardner by slicing him in to quarters with his blue and green lightsabers. A frown appears on Santa's face as he looks around to see only his own teammates. He shutters to think for a second, that he may have actually survived yet another one of these God-forsaken matches when he feels a sudden nagging at his heart... Literally... “I never did believe in Santa Claus”!! Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman says as he rips out Kris Kringle's heart with his teeth. A scream of “NOOOOO” from the remaining Slaves is heard for miles in the echoing open tundra, that comes from all but the quick acting Steve Yzerman. The Captain ignites his red lightsaber, and rushes towards the Black Lantern Lawyer. Red Lightsabers, are reserved for Sith Lords, and not Jedis due to the fact that during their design the unstable nature of the red crystals require the use of the force to fuel their binding power to the weapon itself; thus using the force to attack. This residual bit of power never quite vacates the weapon, regardless of who wields it. So, when Steve Yzerman; an icon for all that is good about sportsmanship and charity and the embodiment of The Spirit of Detroit swings this weapon towards Black Lantern Becks, he is easily able to kill what is already dead.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
George Washington's Slaves are Ymir, Paul Bunyan and Babe, Shindor of Brontic, Santa Claus (w/ green and blue lightsabers (the latter used to belong to Ki Adi Mundi), Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Tim Cheveldae (w/ a sack of gungan boombas), Paul Coffey (w/ a green lightsaber), Bryan Murray (w/ a green lightsaber), Steve Yzerman (w/ Darth Nihilus' red lightsaber), and Tomar Tu.
Before the match begins Slaves Head Coach George Washington himself, personally approaches Santa Claus. “Santa, you don't have to do this ya know, it is early in the season. We have a formidable team without you this week. We are rolling out our first round draft pick Ymir, I mean you have seen this guy right? The huge frost giant! I just don't want to lose you and Rudolph. I know that we are fighting in your home of the North Poll, and it is important to you but..... (trailing off)... It's just that... I know how upset you have been since the loss of Corbin, not to mention your other eight reindeer... And... You have been such an important part of this team since day one, and the truth is that there is a good chance that if you go in to this match, that you may never come back”. “I don't intend to”. Santa replies... “I don't intend to”.
These words hang in the back of Gen. Washington's head as he watches his squad depart for the frozen tundra known as The North Poll.
Rudolph is nice and bulked up from an off-season of pulling a sleigh all by himself, not to mention the fact that there was enough reindeer food stockpiled in the Slaves' Headquarters to feed nine deer, not just himself. This is the reason, that Santa (who looks like he is fat and ready for Christmas Eve) is able to ride on the back of the red-nosed reindeer. The two of them take to the skies and fly high, just daring Logical Genocide to come and get the jolly old saint. Zombie General Zod takes off to search for Kris Kringle, but we will return to this pending battle soon enough.
Back down on the frozen ground, The five Golden Army Soldiers are logically chosen for the first wave of genocide against The Slaves. Bryan Murray rushes in first but realizes the hard way that The Golden Army Soldiers are just as tough as they look. The lightsaber wielding general manager (I still don't think of him as a coach) gets quickly crushed by the members of the Golden Army. Tim Cheveldae rushes in next, as ordered; but keeps his distance. He thinks back to the night before when Gen. Washington was giving him his instructions on what to do. Chev's initial response to the orders was: “But, Meesa no have a boomba”. “Here... Take um this one”!! The father of our country said to Tim as he handed him a sack of Gungan Boombas. Tim to the Timmy keeps this in mind as he begins clearing the boombas into The Golden Army's direction with his Goalie Stick. The Boombas work exceptionally well at slowing down The Golden Army, which is more than The Slaves require to work out step two of their plan. Ymir leads the charge as he crushes the stunned Golden Army Soldier #21 with all of his might. Paul Bunyan and Babe follow suit by taking out #19 and 22. Guy Gardner, Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman, and the clown make-up covered Jug Juggalo the Ewok attempt to act as a diversion against the giant slaves. This actually works to buy some time for the boomba-affected Golden Army Soldiers to regain their composure. And regain their composure they do as the two remaining mechanical soldiers attack Paul Bunyan and Babe from behind and rip them apart. Timothy Chevmeister begins to rush back to use his last few boombas but before he can Ymir demolishes Soldier #20, while Shindor of Brontic uses his lightsaber and Dark Jedi Powers to slice and dice Soldier #23 far beyond their ability to repair themselves. Zombie General Zod finally finds Santa within the cold North Poll Clouds, while Paul Coffey is using his green lightsaber, which he has attached to the end of his hockey stick to slash Jug Juggalo to death. Zombie General Zod rushes at Santa, with all the speed of a living Kryptonian, but Rudolph is able to evade him. Rudolph loops back around and begins to charge toward Zod in a strange game of mid-air chicken as they get closer, Santa ignites his two lightsabers, which flashes to many memories of his old-friends Ki Adi Mundi and Corbin Dallas. Santa waits until the last possible second to swing his lightsabers. With the aid of the Jedi Weapons, and a little Christmas Magic, St. Nicholas is able to remove the head of The Zombie Kryptonian General. “Ohhhh SNAP” Tomar Tu says as Zod's rotting head falls about two feet in front of him. The two Christmas Icons then fly back down toward the ground. “Let's finish this thing” Santa says to his old friend in that overly-dramatic dual meaning kind of way. Santa and Rudolph crash directly in to Guy Gardner whose Blue Ring's aura protects him from to much bodily harm, not that it keeps him from being knocked backward. “Well, I guess this blue ring is totally useless” Gardner says as he pulls out his two long-barreled revolvers. Guy Gardner then unloads both of his Magnum Revolvers in Santa and Rudolph's direction. Rudolph acts quickly by lunging up his chest and throwing Santa off of his back. Saving the life of his old friend by taking the brunt of the attack for himself. Seeing the bloody body of his last Reindeer sends Santa in to a rage. He ignites his lightsabers once again and yells “Step aside Slaves”!! as he decides that he will finish this match on his own. His teammates all listen out of respect as Santa and Guy Gardner's face prove that men chosen by the green lantern corps can most definitely contain fear. Santa makes quick work of Gardner by slicing him in to quarters with his blue and green lightsabers. A frown appears on Santa's face as he looks around to see only his own teammates. He shutters to think for a second, that he may have actually survived yet another one of these God-forsaken matches when he feels a sudden nagging at his heart... Literally... “I never did believe in Santa Claus”!! Black Lantern Bryan Beckerman says as he rips out Kris Kringle's heart with his teeth. A scream of “NOOOOO” from the remaining Slaves is heard for miles in the echoing open tundra, that comes from all but the quick acting Steve Yzerman. The Captain ignites his red lightsaber, and rushes towards the Black Lantern Lawyer. Red Lightsabers, are reserved for Sith Lords, and not Jedis due to the fact that during their design the unstable nature of the red crystals require the use of the force to fuel their binding power to the weapon itself; thus using the force to attack. This residual bit of power never quite vacates the weapon, regardless of who wields it. So, when Steve Yzerman; an icon for all that is good about sportsmanship and charity and the embodiment of The Spirit of Detroit swings this weapon towards Black Lantern Becks, he is easily able to kill what is already dead.
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S SLAVES ARE VICTORIOUS!!
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to Make a New Family Vs. Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches
Layander's Super Orange Kitties and Cats Living Together to make a New Family is Mr. Freeze, Ice Bros. #7-10, White Lantern Batman, Kingdom Come Red Robin, Red X (Dick Grayson), Vampire Starfire, Sharkticon #21, Iggy Koopa, Doozer #7, and Meta-Knight.
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Capt. Universe, Wolverine, Sasquatch, Legolas (w/ Sinestro's green lantern ring), and Overlord.
Neither of these teams waste any time jumping in to action as the cold arctic air almost instantly begins affecting the combatants in a negative fashion. Capt. Universe attempts to end this competition quickly by annihilating the frozen ground underneath the feet of the super-kitties on a molecular level, but before even the quick-re flexed Batman can react, the white lantern ring itself stops Capt. Universe in his tracks. The ring will not allow Capt. Universe to take any life through the use of cosmic abilities. Capt. Universe fights back against the power, when Meta-Knight rushes in to help out the Dark Knight. The Dreamland King's intervention may actually be what tips the scales as the white power and the cosmic power hyper-react with each other and in flash of white light, erase each other from this plane of existence (taking the noble Meta-Knight with them). With these super-powered entities gone from the match, a fierce melee battle ensues. The two Dick Graysons team up against Wolverine, while Sasquatch starts crushing Ice Bros. like it is going out of style. The Sharkticon and Iggy Koopa team-up against Overlord; and Vampire Starfire engages Legolas.
The Ice Bros. make good use of their surroundings, but in the end are no match for the powerful Sasquatch who single-handedly takes out all four of them; but he is not given any amount of rest as Mr. Freeze is their to instantly avenge his newly appointed henchmen. Sasquatch charges at Victor Freeze but his freeze gun stops The Alpha Flight Member dead in his tracks. Even after he is demobilized Mr. Freeze does not let up for one moment. He continues to hit him with the freeze gun until even Sasquatch's warm-blooded body can no longer take the cold. Overlord, also known as Gigatron and using both the power of Chichokon and that stolen from The Transectors... Actually, I'm not doing this Cybertronian crap tonight; so one giant robot squares off against another giant robot. Overlord is the much more powerful one, despite the Shatkticon's good use of the arctic setting. Overlord wins the battle, against the Sharkticon and then manages to crush the life out of ice loving Iggy Koopa as well. Legolas and Vampire Starfire end up getting separated from one another after Starfire fires a starbolt at Legolas that he dodges while he is simultaneously putting a well-aimed arrow through Doozer #7 (whether it was aided by the green lantern ring or if he is just that good, is unsure even by me). Legolas manages to remain unharmed from the attack but the starbolt destroys the ice underneath him sending him plummeting out of the skirmish (for now). Overlord flies over to Mr. Freeze, who instantly begins defending himself by shooting his freeze gun at full blast at the powerful Decepticon. Overlord actually does begin to slow down due to the impending blasts; but it does not stop him from crushing Mr. Freeze with his massive foot. Overlord begins to raise his mighty metal arms in to the air in victory (like decepticons so often do). When Vampire Starfire rips through the metal body of Overlord from back to front: “hmm, this creature's flesh is... gross” the vamped up alien says in a confused voice, as she tries to eat the enormous dying body of Overlord. Meanwhile, we return to the pitched battle between Wolverine and The Red Robin/Red X Combo Pack. “You know what to do against this guy correct”? Red Robin asks of his younger self. “Yes, Batman's teaching log file #864 Sub-Section 3” replies Red X. Red Robin says back “Correct, Batman's section on potential multiverse and amalgam threats. Sub-Section 3: Wolverine”.
Red Robin and Red X work just as well together as Batman and Robin ever did, having received the same training and after all being the same person. But Wolverine is still the best at what he does (bub). The combatants engage in a fierce battle, but neither side is able to gain the upper hand. Despite Wolverine's claw attacks, the former robins are able to parry them with their staffs. It is almost a shame that Vampire Starfire flies in to intervene by hitting Wolverine square in the chest with a starbolt. Wolverine is stunned and knocked back, but no permanent damage is done to the mutant. At that moment, Legolas flies up to return to the battle as well. The elf of the Woodland Realm hits Starfire with a green energy arrow right between the eyes, which knocks her flat on her back. While The Graysons begin an acrobatic move that has Red Robin launching Red X in to the air by using his staff as a spring board. Three things then happen at almost the exact same moment... While Wolverine takes advantage of the grounded Starfire by stabbing her in the chest, Red X is delivering his nuclear-fueled, pulse-powered birdarang into the throat of Legolas, whose last green energy arrow is being shot in to the eye of Red Robin. Red X pops up with a somersault and realizes, that he is now alone with Wolverine. He wastes no time with remorse for his fallen comrade and moves against the mutant quickly, but without the aid of his older self, he no longer has the skill set to hang with Wolverine. Wolvie dodges two swings from Red X and then delivers a claw-revealed uppercut to Red X's chin. “Sorry kid” is the last two words that Red X hears as
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN'S: BEEYATCHES become VICTORIOUS!!
Beckerman's Backyardigan's: Beeyatches are Capt. Universe, Wolverine, Sasquatch, Legolas (w/ Sinestro's green lantern ring), and Overlord.
Neither of these teams waste any time jumping in to action as the cold arctic air almost instantly begins affecting the combatants in a negative fashion. Capt. Universe attempts to end this competition quickly by annihilating the frozen ground underneath the feet of the super-kitties on a molecular level, but before even the quick-re flexed Batman can react, the white lantern ring itself stops Capt. Universe in his tracks. The ring will not allow Capt. Universe to take any life through the use of cosmic abilities. Capt. Universe fights back against the power, when Meta-Knight rushes in to help out the Dark Knight. The Dreamland King's intervention may actually be what tips the scales as the white power and the cosmic power hyper-react with each other and in flash of white light, erase each other from this plane of existence (taking the noble Meta-Knight with them). With these super-powered entities gone from the match, a fierce melee battle ensues. The two Dick Graysons team up against Wolverine, while Sasquatch starts crushing Ice Bros. like it is going out of style. The Sharkticon and Iggy Koopa team-up against Overlord; and Vampire Starfire engages Legolas.
The Ice Bros. make good use of their surroundings, but in the end are no match for the powerful Sasquatch who single-handedly takes out all four of them; but he is not given any amount of rest as Mr. Freeze is their to instantly avenge his newly appointed henchmen. Sasquatch charges at Victor Freeze but his freeze gun stops The Alpha Flight Member dead in his tracks. Even after he is demobilized Mr. Freeze does not let up for one moment. He continues to hit him with the freeze gun until even Sasquatch's warm-blooded body can no longer take the cold. Overlord, also known as Gigatron and using both the power of Chichokon and that stolen from The Transectors... Actually, I'm not doing this Cybertronian crap tonight; so one giant robot squares off against another giant robot. Overlord is the much more powerful one, despite the Shatkticon's good use of the arctic setting. Overlord wins the battle, against the Sharkticon and then manages to crush the life out of ice loving Iggy Koopa as well. Legolas and Vampire Starfire end up getting separated from one another after Starfire fires a starbolt at Legolas that he dodges while he is simultaneously putting a well-aimed arrow through Doozer #7 (whether it was aided by the green lantern ring or if he is just that good, is unsure even by me). Legolas manages to remain unharmed from the attack but the starbolt destroys the ice underneath him sending him plummeting out of the skirmish (for now). Overlord flies over to Mr. Freeze, who instantly begins defending himself by shooting his freeze gun at full blast at the powerful Decepticon. Overlord actually does begin to slow down due to the impending blasts; but it does not stop him from crushing Mr. Freeze with his massive foot. Overlord begins to raise his mighty metal arms in to the air in victory (like decepticons so often do). When Vampire Starfire rips through the metal body of Overlord from back to front: “hmm, this creature's flesh is... gross” the vamped up alien says in a confused voice, as she tries to eat the enormous dying body of Overlord. Meanwhile, we return to the pitched battle between Wolverine and The Red Robin/Red X Combo Pack. “You know what to do against this guy correct”? Red Robin asks of his younger self. “Yes, Batman's teaching log file #864 Sub-Section 3” replies Red X. Red Robin says back “Correct, Batman's section on potential multiverse and amalgam threats. Sub-Section 3: Wolverine”.
Red Robin and Red X work just as well together as Batman and Robin ever did, having received the same training and after all being the same person. But Wolverine is still the best at what he does (bub). The combatants engage in a fierce battle, but neither side is able to gain the upper hand. Despite Wolverine's claw attacks, the former robins are able to parry them with their staffs. It is almost a shame that Vampire Starfire flies in to intervene by hitting Wolverine square in the chest with a starbolt. Wolverine is stunned and knocked back, but no permanent damage is done to the mutant. At that moment, Legolas flies up to return to the battle as well. The elf of the Woodland Realm hits Starfire with a green energy arrow right between the eyes, which knocks her flat on her back. While The Graysons begin an acrobatic move that has Red Robin launching Red X in to the air by using his staff as a spring board. Three things then happen at almost the exact same moment... While Wolverine takes advantage of the grounded Starfire by stabbing her in the chest, Red X is delivering his nuclear-fueled, pulse-powered birdarang into the throat of Legolas, whose last green energy arrow is being shot in to the eye of Red Robin. Red X pops up with a somersault and realizes, that he is now alone with Wolverine. He wastes no time with remorse for his fallen comrade and moves against the mutant quickly, but without the aid of his older self, he no longer has the skill set to hang with Wolverine. Wolvie dodges two swings from Red X and then delivers a claw-revealed uppercut to Red X's chin. “Sorry kid” is the last two words that Red X hears as
BECKERMAN'S BACKYARDIGAN'S: BEEYATCHES become VICTORIOUS!!
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