Playoffs: The Striders of Rohan vs. Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassin's

Striders of Rohan: (Superwoman, Johnny Quick, Owlman, Talon, Abeloth *4 death*, Magneto *4 death*, Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, King Kong, Zombie King Kong *4 death*, Steppenwolf w/ yellow lantern ring, Winter Soldier w/ Green lantern ring, Geralt of Rivia, Ancalagon the Black, Azula w/Red Lantern Ring *4 death*, Batwing w/ Power ring, 4 siege vanilla attack ops, Zombie Balrog of Moria *4 death*, Zombie Wolverine, Zombie X-23, Morg, w/Red Lantern Ring, John Wick, Hellboy, Blue Wizard 1-2, Jedi Knight #1a in X-Wing, Jedi Knight #2a in Stealth X-Wing, Jedi Master #1a in TIE Fighter, Jedi Master #2a in Kyle's Sith Fighter, Metal Bender #1-2, Balrog #1a, Balrog #1b, Black Lantern Balrog, Swamp Bender #1-2

Ahsoka's: Tornedron, The Monitor w/ White Lantern Ring, Black Lantern Dr Manhattan, Zombie Dr Manhattan *4 death*, Sauron, Blue Marvel, Father of Mortis, Quicksilver *4 death*, Freddy Kruegar w/ Yellow Lantern Ring *4 death*, The Ancient One *4 death*,12 Guardian Knights as Dragonstorm (85)   {listed as Dragonicus through guardian #12 on roster}, Sentry, Hyperion,Witch King of Angmar on Witch King's Fell Beast (Witch King *4 death* and fell beast is not), Micro Nuke item

In the fantasy world, destruction based offenses are considered especially heinous. In the forest, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious war crimes are members of an elite squad known as the The Striders of Rohan. These are their stories.

The fog is thick and is making it hard to see in the forest other than the tracking of Geralt.  His ability to track monsters is among the best and was led here by the sense of fear and screams of terror.  Geralt was leading an elite squad into the forest as he knew the monster he was tracking was nothing like he had faced in his life as a witcher.  He is followed  closely by the Winter Soldier who stops in his tracks as he sees someone ahead.

It looked like a burnt human.  As they got closer they could hear the screams of children, but there wasn’t a child in sight.  Winter Soldier goes to approach the man but he disappears.  “I think I might be hallucinating.  We’ve been traveling for days trying to find this monster and we’ve gotten nowhere” says Winter Soldier out of pure frustration.  

“Then get some rest.  We stop for a little bit and we will continue on.” says Geralt.

This was all but the start of a disaster for the Winter Soldier.  As he already has an unstable mind.  It opened the floodgates for Freddy Kruegar.  

Bucky Barnes was back to that night.  The night he killed Iron Man's parents.  He wanted to try and stop himself from doing it but couldn’t do anything as if he wasn’t there at all.  This kept replaying through the mind of the fast asleep Bucky.

The rest of the Striders had no idea what was happening until they heard the horrific screams coming from Bucky while he’s asleep.  Geralt then catches onto a new monster that's near.  The screams continued until he was laying in a pool of blood as Kruegar and slit his throat as Bucky succumbed to the fear of his nightmares. 

After his death the noises of the singing children began to grow louder and louder.  Almost as a battle cry for the Assassin’s they are trying to hunt.  Geralt knew more and more powerful forces were closing in.  The fog is so thick and commotion around him is inhibiting him from knowing if it's the one he is looking for.  

Geralt yells “We need to take defense and head in different directions; we cannot get cornered here.”

Azula, X-23, Wolverine, and the swamp benders continue on to the west as the entire team begins to split up with a few in each group. 

X-23 took the lead as they continued on.  She led them right to Hyperion who seemed to be waiting there for them.  

Hyperion greets them “Welcome, I heard you all coming so I thought I’d meet you here so we can get this over with”

“Over with, what do you mean over with” replies Azula

“Nothing but your inevitable death.  Don’t worry it’s not just me you have to worry about.  I brought a friend along so we can end this.  We don’t take too kindly to being tracked” says the cocky Hyperion as The Ancient One emerges from the thick fog.  

Wolverine wasn’t having none of this bullish so he leaped right at Hyperion to attack him, who immediately dodged the attack.  X-23 backs up the fellow mutant in trying to attack Hyperion.  This battle was one no saw coming.  These guys boxed harder than Mike Tyson on cocaine.  The regenerative powers from both sides are unmatched.  None of the attacks are doing damage.  

All while this is happening The ancient one attacked Azula with a bolt of lightning. Azula caught off guard as she didn’t know there was someone else who could bend nature other than her and the swamp benders with her.  Azula instantly orders the swamp benders to attack.  The swamp benders try to attack but with the lack of water in this forest their attacks are weak and cannot damage the Ancient One.

The ancient one laughs at them as he finds their powers and minds to be weak.  He then releases energy from his hands, incinerating the two swamp benders.  “You are all weak.  I am a master of mystic arts.  You are nothing but the scum on the ground”

Azula enrages and lets out blades of blue fire catching the nearby trees on fire.   The ancient one knew this would be a battle now. This fight between sorcerers is unmatched.  The strength of the blue flames is beginning to be too much for the ancient one.  The ancient one is a master of astral projection who was going to leave his body until he was crushed by a tree, but it was not anytree it was two walking trees.

“We're here to help the friends of the forest,” says Treebeard.  “We’ve come to help you rid the forest of scum.”

The battle between wolverine, x-23, and Hyperion was still ongoing.  X-23 is starting to wear out as the damage is becoming too much for her to regenerate and is decapitated by Hyperion.  Wolverine enraged ups the tempo but Hyperion was too much for him.  He was taken to the ground about to be defeated, until Azula lets out waves of fire at Hyperion who has no choice but to dodge.  Wolverine tries to finish him off as he is distracted but Hyperion’s sense of hearing is too great for Wolverine as he is able to dodge and give a deadly blow to Wolverine.  

Lying in a pool of blood, Wolverine says to Azula “We have to get back to help Geralt.  He can’t do this alone”

Azula then lets out a bloody scream and releases hell upon the forest.  Everything in sight was up in flames, even the tree beards who had just helped her were taken as part of the toll.  

Azula begins to run back to the way she came in an effort to find Geralt but only stumbles upon a battle of  Balrog of Moria and Ancalagon the Black against Dr.Manhattan.  

This really do be the battle of some big ole hogs out here.  Balrog even has more Balrogs coming to back his fiery ass up, but it isn’t enough.  Dr.Manhattan is able to absorb a lot of the damage.  As the balrogs come for reinforcement they are met by the Witch King on his fell beast who is able to give them the works.  Balrog of Moria wasn’t going to leave without a kill on the leaderboard as The Witch King tries to fly away Durins Bane smacks him to the ground harder than a Magglio Ordonez Home Run in the ALCS killing him and his beast almost instantly.  Ancalagon tries to distract the Zombied version of Dr.Manhattan as Durin's Bane attacks.

Back up has finally arrived as Ash comes in with her breaching rounds shooting them at the legs of Dr.Manhattan.  Glaz begins to let off sniper shots as he is able to see through the fog but his gun is useless against Dr.Manhattan.  Ash on the other hand isn’t able to be hit as she is almost running at mach speeds and her head cannot be touched (you can thank those bastards at ubisoft for this one). She was able to distract the confused Manhattan as Balrog dealt some deadly blows to Manhattan.

The Striders began to celebrate until Geralt showed up.  

“Why are you cheering” Geralt says to Ash and Azula

“We’ve won” replies the both of them 

“He’s still here”

Tornedron has finally arrived with Freddy, Sauron, and Father of Mortis.  These are some of the most powerful beings the universe has to offer and they are here to settle the score in a final scene in the forest.  

Freddy tries to take the mind of Geralt but it is no use as he isn’t sleepy nor would he be able to get into the mind of a witcher.  Geralt then tells Freddy “I’ve got something fun planned for you”

Abeloth then appears taking the form of a human deceiving Freddy.  He tries to attack as it isn’t enough for Abeloth.  In Fact it's pathetic as Abeloth is able to reverse the roles and make Freddy's World chaos.  Abeloth is more powerful in the mind than Freddy and is able to make him relive his own nightmares of the building that burned and killed him. 

Sauron then begins to slay Ancalagon the Black with ease.  Sauron then looks up at the Balrog ready to battle only to see it fall to the floor as both his life and Balrogs life were drained away by Tornedron as he was caught in the crossfire.  

Geralt is left alone with Azula as Abeloth has disappeared after the fight with Freddy.  Geralt and Azula are able to fight off the Father of Mortis.  Geralt’s sword was caught by Father mid attack but was shot at when doing so.  Father is so strong in the force he was able to hold off a sword from Geralt.  They are no match for Tornedron as they are both killed by the entity. 

The rest of the Stiders Team were on task to take out the Assassins in the city.  This unit is above the elite.  This unit is Boppin. (cue the SVU soundtrack)

The city is under mass destruction from the Assassin’s who are doing this for political gain.  Yea you didn’t see that coming did you.  The Striders who already know the city is under destruction lets out their two King Kongs.  Two big ole fahking monkeys bout to yug down on the city. 

Magneto enters the city with a metal bender at his side ready to conquer the entire city himself (he bout to do some serious work. Sorry not sorry zach).  He is met by 6 Guardian Knights.  They begin to launch an attack but are instantly crushed by Magneto and the lone metal bender.  

“These Transformers don’t stand a chance against the likes of me” says Magneto as he maniacally laughs. 

Montagne, Fuzz, and John Wick begin to breach buildings looking for lone assassin’s.  They are only to be met by Blue Marvel.  Who is not affected by the cluster charges let off by Fuze. 

“This isn’t working” screams John Wick.

Montagne continues the charge in which he is one hit by Blue Marvel as he is just a regular human.  John Wick begins hand to hand combat where he is finally not the favorite.  On the brink of death Wick jumps out the window of the building luckily landing safely other than sustained injuries from the fight.  

Quicksilver and Johnny Quick are amazed at the speed of each other and have been racing this entire story.  Just thought I’d say it.

Superwoman, Owlman, and Batwing then take on Sentry.

“You’re destroying the entire city, why?” yells a frustrated Superwoman

“This is nothing to us.  We want power”

“So this is political?  We hate politics around here.” says Superwoman.

Superwoman then leaps at sentry beginning even more of the destruction.  The strength and speed from the two alone are shaking nearby buildings.  Owlman and Batwing waiting for their opportunity to help superwoman are met by quicksilver who killed Johnny Quick during their race. Owlman and Batwing go back to back as they cannot see Quicksilver do to his speed.  

“He stopped I don’t see him anymore” says Owlman

Morg then approached them with Quicksilver in hand as he was able to catch him.  They then proceeded to give him a Detroit style curb side stomping in honor of Johnny Quick.  

They then hear the cries of a woman. 

“That was superwoman.” said owlman.

“We have to continue on.  She can hold her own.” said Batwing

Little did they know they were the cries of her death as Dr.Manhattan had joined Sentry who was on the brink of death from his fight with superwoman.  The Kongs know a cry for help when they hear it though and rush over.  Dr.Manhattan is now in a battle with some apes. 

He thinks less of himself now that he is fighting animals for political gain.

Steppenwolf also joins the apes in the fight against Manhattan.  Steppenwolf, knowing the politics of Earth had only seen this destruction coming for many years and has been ready.  They begin to attack the lone Dr.Manhattan.  The amount of strength from Kong and Steppenwolf aren’t enough to take him down though.  Dr.Manhattan is able to throw one of the Kongs killing him on impact.  

Magneto seeing an ape fly through the sky knew it was trouble and instantly headed into that direction.  Only to be met by more transformers on his way there.  

Magneto laughs in excitement “Let’s up the kill count shall we” as he is able to crush the remaining transformers with the help of his metal bender side kick.  

“You own the power of destruction but I own the power of creation”

“Who said that?” says Magneto 

“Me” as The Monitor appears from the shadows.  

Magneto out of anger begins to launch attacks but they all miss as The Monitor can see is coming.  

“You are nothing but a child in an adults body” says the Monitor 

“I am power” says an angered Magneto 

Magneto then begins to destroy everything around them but The Monitor attacks are quick and precise leaving magneto badly injured.  His metal bender side kick tried to step in but got manhandled by the eons old Monitor.  

The fight with Manhattan continued on as Magneto was never able to make it.  For the Assassins it looked grim as they haven't had any contact with the rest of their team as all communication has been destroyed through the city. Tornedron and Father have arrived at the city but are on the other side, The Monitor had just fought Magneto, and Manhattan who Blue Marvel thinks is the only one alive.  

Blue Marvel begins to see Manhattan lose the fight as there are too many of the Striders and has to pull out his only option.  He pulls out what looks like a phone and presses a button.  The micro nuke has been released.  

The entire city has been destroyed with everyone inside it besides Blue Marvel who is able to withstand the blasts because of his ability to manipulate matter.  Manhattan has a similar power but wasn’t ready to do so with the damage he sustained within the battle.

Blue Marvel then decides his only option is to travel to the forest to look for survivors as he did not meet with them before letting the nuke off in the city killing his own team.  Upon entering the forest he saw the bodies of his enemies and allies, but only one was breathing.  It was Freddy.  Blue Marvel instantly rushes to see if he can help save Freddy.

Freddy begins to laugh sinisterly “if only you knew” and Freddy then proceeds to take the life of Blue Marvel.  

Blue Marvel, stunned and amazed, says “why are you doing this and how?”

Freddy with a grin says “because I’m not actually Freddy.  I was able to take over his body.  His nightmares weakened his mind and he became mine.  I am abeloth the true bringer of chaos” 

Week 9: Angry Li'l Individuals With Gender Dysphoria vs The Sith Formerly Owned By Johnny

 The Midgets are: Vlad the Impaler and Duncan Idaho Ghola #5 (w/ red and purple double-bladed lightsaber)

The Sith AIDS are: Weapon H

Sometimes, in this League of Fantasy Fantasy, a watcher is presented with a conundrum. Two formidable squads, toe-to-toe, neck and neck. Sometimes, the opposite problem: two teams of D-list celebrities, or parodic amalgamations some long-forgotten lawyer and Care Bears. This scene represents neither of these scenarios, but rather, a troubling third option. An unstoppable behemoth of muscle and steel versus a Romanian sociopath and a sandy clone with a very hot sword.

Fade in:

INT. BAT CAVE

We see a panning landscape shot of the Bat Cave. All is quiet, all is dark. Suddenly, the hum of a lightsaber breaks the silence as its red and purple glow cuts through the darkness.

Cut to:

INT. BAT CAVE, BY THE BATMOBILE

We see the ghola of Duncan Idaho, saber fully erect and pulsing with heat in his soft hand, staring upward with a perplexed look on his strikingly handsome face.

DUNCAN

(Toward the ceiling)

"Vlad? Vlad! What are you doing up there? What sort of strategy is this?"

Pan upward:

We see Vlad Tepes III, former Warlord of Wallachia, suspended upside-down from the ceiling by a rope around his ankles. The other end of the rope is fed through holes bored through a cluster of stakes he has hammered in to the ceiling as anchors for his suspension rig. His already grotesque face is reddened with blood rushing to his head.

VLAD

"No, silly Idaho man, there is no Vlad you speak of. For I, grim ruler of hole in ground, am the bat! Man and beast alike make fear of my terrible power!"

He emits a gargling hiss as he expels the saliva pooling in the roof of his mouth.

DUNCAN

"I will not stand for this foolishness, Vlad! We have to search the cave for something, ANYTHING to stop the fourteen-hundred-pound Juggernaut pursuing us!"

Cut to:

EXT. BAT CAVE - NIGHT

Weapon H is standing at the side of a large rock formation, searching. He puts his ear toward the face of the cliff.

C.U. on Weapon H face against rocks:

VLAD

(Muffled, through wall)

"Silence, clone-thing! I am the terror that flaps in the night!"

Cut back to full shot:

Weapon H snarls and begins pummeling the rock, quickly forcing a tunnel toward the voices he hears.

Cut to:

The cave rumbles and shakes as Weapon H approaches. Duncan Idaho sways to maintain his balance on the trembling ground. Vlad begins to swing in the air on his ropes, cackling madly.

DUNCAN

"There's no time, we need to go! Quickly Vlad, to the Batcopter!"

Duncan breaks in to a sprint for the helipad inexplicably located inside a cave. He makes it about 30 feet from helicopter before the wall bursts open, hurling a boulder at him and flinging him off-screen.

C.U. on Vlad's swinging ankles:

We see a stray rock knock loose the largest anchor suspending Vlad from the ceiling. The rest are torn out with him as he swings through the air. As his trajectory throws him toward Weapon H, he catches a stake in his hand.

VLAD

"Aha, the bat takes flight! I impale you, foul creature!"

The impact of the stake against Weapon H's chest makes a dull wooden clunk, and Vlad bounces off forcefully. He lands on the ground with a grisly snap as his neck breaks. He twitches twice before becoming motionless

C.U. on Weapon H's face and chest:

Weapon H glares briefly at Vlad's corpse for a moment. He turn to look in to the camera, smirks deviously, and shrugs his shoulders as the Looney Tunes closing music plays and an iris-in begins to close the scene. It pauses briefly on his face, he winks, and the iris completes.

THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!

S12 W9: Assassins vs Popeyes

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins are: Dick Grayson (Batman) w/ Green Lantern Ring, Damien Wayne (Robin), Ajax w/ Green Lantern Ring 

Affirmative Action Popeyes are: Nemesis Enforcer (4 death), Nolan Peterson: Sith Bro (4 death w/ Red Lightsaber), Austin Perrison: Sith Bro (4 death w/ Red Lightsaber), Tatsu (4 death)

Tatsu goes right for Ajax. The highly skilled ninja warrior has fast moves but not as fast as Ajax. Tatsu is able to strike Ajax several times with his sword but due to the fact he doesn’t have any nerves in his body, Ajax is able to push through the pain and send the Foot Soldier to the graveyard. 

His victory is short-lived as Nemesis Enforcer snaps Ajax’s neck as he takes flight to combat Batman and Robin who are throwing gadgets and stuff at the Bros from a catwalk suspended above the cave floor. He kicks Grayson down to take on Damien Wayne and hits him in the chest with his blade. He then uses his bare hands to rip the Walmart brand Robin in two and throws his remains down to the cave floor below. 

Fueled by rage, Dick Grayson uses his GLR to hit Nemeis from the backside and then gain the upper hand. With nowhere to roll to on the narrow walkway, Nemesis is trapped under the former sidekick turned hero. With a bellowing scream, he pushes his thumbs into the eyes of Nemesis and into his brain, killing him for good.

Before he can stand up, two lightsabers cross his vision and rest in an X pattern below his chin. With his attackers standing behind him on each side, he has no escape as the the Bro Bros pull back their sabers and behead him Dooku style. 

Austin grabs the headless corpse and with an audible grunt, heaves him over the edge of the railing. 

“Bro!” Nolan says disgusted at the amount of effort Austin took to throw the body. 

“What?! It was heavy!” Austin quips back.

“Do you even lift, Bro?!” Nolan says with a chuckle.

The two of them walk hand in hand out of the batcave in eternal bromance and they go to GNC to split a protein shake.

Week 9: Crack Danks vs Barkley's Turrible Decisions

Crack Danks: Joker, Harley Quinn, Three Musketeers Squad: d’Artagnan, Athos, Porthos, and Aramis

Barkley’s Turrible Decisions: Batwoman, Robin (-4), and Alfred (-4) in Golden Age Batmobile, Terminator #2-3 (-4)

With Batman nowhere to be found, Robin and Catwoman decide to hit the town to have some fun. After some poor decisions, they return with Terminator #2 and #3, rolling in the Golden Age Batmobile.

Alfred advises “Master Grayson, Master Wayne will not be happy when he finds out you have brought strangers into the batcave.”

“That’s why he’ll never find out,” responds Robin.

Reluctantly, Alfred agrees, “Of course, Master Grayson.”

Little did they realize Joker and Harley had planted trackers on the two common Terminators so they could find out exactly where the Batcave is. The two lovers also hired the Three Musketeers to help break in and mess with the Batman. The Crack Danks squad now await outside of Wayne Manor waiting for the call from Joker to go inside.

Back inside the Batcave, the Bat squad starts opening bottles of champagne and continues the party with their new Terminator friends. It soon becomes interrupted by the Crack Danks squad blowing a hole in one of the cave walls. 

Joker announces his presence, “Batsy, Batsy, Batsy. Come out to play. I want to have some fun.”

The three musketeers quickly jump into action towards the two Terminators. While they are busy, Joker and Harley move towards the Bat family with maniacal laughter. Harley goes for boy wonder as Joker moves towards batwoman. Each side wins as Robin holds Harley by the throat and the Joker does the same to Batwoman.

Joker demands, “I want the Bat! Where is he? You two are not as fun as Batsy.”

Robin responds, “He’s not here. Looks like you’ll have to try another time.”

“What?!? I did all this for him to not be here?” Joker exclaims.

Obviously upset, Joker knocks out Batwoman and starts dragging her away. He has no use in being there anymore, but he can take Batwoman as a lure to bait Batman into a later trap. Robin snaps Harley’s neck out of anger to try and stop the Joker from taking Batwoman. As he makes his way to the Joker, the cave trembles from a massive hit across the Batcave which makes the cave wall crumble behind the Joker, blocking Robin’s way to saving Batwoman.

Meanwhile, the Three Musketeers were making their way through the Terminators but not without Aramis and Porthos dying with them. As the fight is occuring, Alfred hopped into the Golden Age Batmobile and full speed ahead trampled the remaining two Musketeers into the cave wall. Alfred received a minor concussion but will survive. The smash into the wall is what resulted in the unsteady cave wall across the Batcave to crumble.

All that remains in the Batcave is Alfred and a heartbroken Robin. Robin with tears, “I was supposed to protect her, and now she’s in the hands of that crazed clown.”

Alfred attempting to console him, “Master Grayson, she will survive. You will find her and save her.”

Robin notices a note left on the ground. It seems to have an address and time for Robin to go to. He immediately hops in the Golden Age Batmobile, which with a few dents is still running just fine.

Alfred advises, “It’s a trap, Master Grayson. Do not go. Wait for Master Wayne to return and help you.”

Robin responds, “I can’t wait. Her life depends on me now.” And he speeds off towards the unknown location.

Alfred alone whispers, “I know. Goodluck, Master Grayson.”

Robin arrives at an abandoned warehouse… classic. He attempts to sneak around a back entrance, but when he walks through the door the Joker echoes his voice, “I knew you’d come all alone and trying so desperately to be the hero. I’m afraid that won’t happen today.”

Robin calls out, “Why don’t you show yourself and we can find out who’s gonna win this fight.”

The lights instantly turn on, revealing Batwoman tied to a chair and explosives in the middle of the warehouse. Joker continues, “Like I said, you don’t become the hero today. Today, I show you what true loss looks like…”

And the chair explodes. Batwoman becomes no longer and Robin, in shock, falls to the floor becoming overwhelmed with tears. He notices the Joker walking towards him and Robin jumps up and knocks Joker to the ground.

On top of the Joker, Robin yells, “Why?!? Why did you do that? Give me an answer!”

All Joker can respond with is laughter. Uncontrollable laughter. Finally he gets out, “I just wanted to see your face, and it’s hilarious!” And the laughter resumes.

Robin cuts the laughter short by stabbing Joker through the heart, thinking it would make him feel better by doing to Joker’s heart what just happened to his own. He unfortunately felt no better.

As Joker coughs up blood, “You finally did what the Bat could never. Well, it was fun while it lasted.” And the Joker takes his final breath.

Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight Vs. TEAM

 Two Hungry Dino-Mites with Bubble Fightin Fun Down Tight are Nightwing (w/ a green lightsaber & green lantern ring), Red Robin (w/ double-bladed orange lightsaber), and Bene Gesserit Sisters #1-6.

TEAM is Black Lantern Yoda.

Nightwing and Red Robin have returned to a place where they both spent much of their youth for some necessary training exercises.  Batman and Alfred are not there; but they know their mentor will have lessons on file that can help them in properly wielding not only their new lightsabers, but also the green lantern ring that has been gifted to Nightwing.  Dick Grayson remembers well that Batman too briefly was empowered by one of these rings back when he was the original Robin.  The six Bene Gesserit Sisters were blindfolded when entering the Bat Cave; but are very much looking forward to enhancing their own hand to hand combat skills by utilizing Batman's many training facilities.  It is unfortunate, that before they can begin, alarms start going off and the Bat Cave begins to go into an automatic shutdown mode as a counter-measure to some sort of existential threat.  

"Were we followed Dick"??  Tim Drake asks of his friend.

"Can't be.  We covered our tracks perfectly.  This is something very different, with amazing skills that has sought out this location".  Grayson answers.

The eight Dino-Mites rush over to the computer to see the threat assessment appear on the screen.

Threat height:  Very small.

Threat weight:  Very small.

Threat size:  Immense.

DANGER.

DANGER.

DANGER.

Full lockdown and counter-measures suggested.

Full doomsday protocol highly recommended.

Nightwing orders Red Robin to take five of the Bene Gesserits and begin the defensive posture that he has been trained to do in these situations, and assures him that he will join them shortly.  But before he can, Dick Grayson takes Bene Gesserit Sister #4 with him and leads her to the Bat Cave's secret elevator which leads directly back up to Wayne Manor.   He hands her a piece of paper instructing her to read it carefully and do exactly as it instructs, before he pushes her into the elevator and sends her up to The Wayne Family Library.  

The Bene Gesserit reaches the library and opens up a desk drawer that becomes a screen, giving a full view of the cave and the fight that is beginning to take place in it.  She cringes as a tiny dark figure with a sword similar to that which Dick and Tim were training with mows through her five sisters with relative ease.  Not even using his sword on them, he blasts them with what seems to be a wall of black-colored energy before engaging the two Batman-trainees in a melee energy-saber battle.  The young initiate of the sisterhood then watches as the diminuitive figure moves with amazing speed and athleticism bouncing around Red Robin, working his way behind the accomplished fighter and acrobat and removing the young Tim Drake of his head.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" Nightwing screams, as he flips into the air himself, lands in position picks up Tim's double orange saber and rushes at BL Yoda with both the sabers and a thick green-energy aura around him as his only remaining allies.  Nightwing attacks with perfect form, not allowing the death of his dear friend to cloud his judgement, his choices, or his fighting prowess.  After a seemingly pitched battle continues for a few moments, Grayson lunges with what he feels is a perfect finishing manuever; but before said move is delivered, he sees the creature move with amazing speed to get underneath him and then feels the intense heat of a black-energy laced lightsaber enter beneath his chin and up into his brain.  

Bene Gesserit #4, safely in the above library gasps as she sees her final teammate die and then quickly rereads the last sentence on the sheet of paper Nightwing handed to her:

"Should every member of our last line of defense fall, head swiftly to the book shelf and pull out the top shelf copy of "A Tale of Two Cities"".  As it said it would, the book had a small touchscreen on the back with only two button options:  

1.  The Best of Times.

2.  The Worst of Times.  

She follows the orders exactly as instructed, presses option number 2, and then watches on the monitor as The Bat Cave uses its advanced computers to fully analyze the threat and go into full Self-Destruct Mode.  

Week 9 Democracy : George Washingtons House Elves vs The Kittens of Luna

House Elves : Batgirl (Cassandra Cain) and Shaak Ti (final life)

Kittens: Captain Cold and Leatherface

Week 9 Consortium: The Striders of Rohan vs Be Gentle Its My Third Time

Striders are Hush, Batwing w/ Power Ring, Balrog #1a, and Balrog #1b.

Gentle is Task master, Vincent Vega and Jules, and 1 Cave Troll.

S12 W8: Barkleys vs Sith Aids

Charles Barkley’s Turrible Decisions are: The Wither, Jill Stein, The Ween crew (The Boognish, Gene Ween, Dean Ween, Dave Dreiwitz, Claude Coleman Jr., and Glenn McClelland (All on final lives)), All Might, Nurgle The Plague Lord, Ludwig Von Koopa w/ White Lantern Ring, Zufa and Norma Cenva (Last Lives), Dr. McCoy, Uhura, Data, Scotty, Odo, Nog, Crimmel, Green Dragon #1

 

Spence and Vader’s House of Sith Aids are: Winnie the Pooh, Weapon H, Velociraptor, Utahraptor (4 deaths), Utahraptor #2, George the Albino, Lizzy, The Wolf, David son of Jesse, Maxima, Rayden, The Ninth Sister, Fire bros 1-2

 

 

The Ween Brothers and crew are playing “Ocean Man” while the fight in the forest begins. Te Wither and Green Dragon #1 rain down explosive skulls and fire on the Sith Aids as they begin their advance. Zufa and Norma Cenva use their sorcery to stop Lizzy and The Wolf who just finished devouring Crimmell. George the Albino picked up Odo and Nog and smashed their skulls together. The Enterprise crew then began shooting the beast with their phasers but they didn’t seem to do much against him and he picked up Scotty and used him as a hammer to kill Uhura and Data. Dr McCoy figured out his phaser was still on stun so after a quick adjustment he was able to shoot the beast long enough for an exploding skull from the Wither to blow them both to bits.

 

Jill Stein gets set on fire by Fire Bro #1 while she was trying to finish making her protest sign. Ludwig von Koopa avenged her by finishing off both Fire Bros and set sights on David who was praying in the forest. Divine intervention came through and Ludwig was struck by a bolt of lightning. “Thank you, Lord.” Said David to the heavens.

 

“Thank me!” said Rayden who came bursting out of the trees. He cast another bolt this time toward the sky and took down the Green Dragon who had just finished burning Winnie the Pooh to a crisp. Rayden then rushed toward Ween who then cranked all their amplifiers to 10 and everyone had to stop and cover their ears. This gave the Boognish and the Wither enough time to “Finish Him” and this left the DC heroine, Maxima with the job of sending the Wither back to the End and casting the Boognish out of existence. She then teamed up with Weapon H to kill off the Cenvas who had just bested the Ninth Sister in battle.

 

Nurgle the Plague Lord cast a plague of instant organ disintegration on  Maxima and her body turned to liquid. Weapon H quickly turned the Nurgle into a stain on a nearby tree and the Ween brothers downshifted into a soft song suitable to die to. Their fate all but sealed as the Sith Aids advanced toward their stage. “Gentlemen, “ said Dean, “It was a pleasure playing with you this evening.” His eyes fixed on Weapon H and crew coming toward them, the Ween brothers and company did not even see the Velociraptor attack from the sides along with Utahraptors #1 and #2.

 

FFL 2021 Week 8: Crack Danks vs. House Elves

Crack Danks: Balrog of Moria, Saruman, Cole MacGrath, Emma Frost, Goliath, and Toph Beifong

House Elves: Gandalf the Grey w/ Elven Ring (4 death), Sinestro, Ben Kenobi, Nazgul #3 w/ Fell Beast and Mordor Horse, Sergeant Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, & Mercer (all 4 death), Zombie #5-7

This match starts off with the House Elves wandering into the Fangorn Forest awaiting to battle their competitor, Crack Danks.

Ben Kenobi immediately begins to have a weird sense when entering the forest. He feels an energy from the Forest. He goes to talk to Gandalf about this to use his wisdom to explain this sense. But then just as he’s about to ask the House Elves are ambushed by the members of The Golden Arches squad. 

Toph uses her earth bending to throw large chunks of earth to the zombies, easily killing them, this uproots multiple trees in the process. As she does this there is a loud ominumous noise coming from the trees. Then Cole MacGrath uses his electrokinesis powers to shoot a blast of lightning towards Ben Kenobi, but he uses his lightsaber to deflect it. This deflected lighting blasts splits a tree in half thus killing it. An even louder ominous noise comes from the forest. Toph then throws another chunk of earth at Ben Kenobi but he uses the force to stop it’s flight and send it onto the ground.   

The GI Joe squad of Sgt. Slaughter, Taurus, Red Dog, and Mercer come in hot and they just start Blasting. They shoot Toph straight in the head because her “Vibration Sight” doesn't give her enough time to see the bullets and dodge them. The GI Joe squad then shoots Cole MacGrath, killing him as well.

The GI Joe crew then goes to shoot Emma Frost but are unsuccessful as her diamond skin protects her. She uses her telekinetic abilities to give the GI Joe’s such strong headaches that fully incapacitates them. Goliath then comes in and stomps on the Joes, killing all of them. Nazgul #3 comes in on his Mordor Horse and tries to attack Goliath but struggles at first. Ben Kenobi sees the former King of Men struggling with the giant and screams at him to use the High Ground. The Nazgul does it’s patented screech and in comes the Fell Beast flying in from the clouds. The Ring Wraith jumps from his Mordor Horse onto the Fell Beast as it flies by. An impressive feat of athleticism that could only be out done by an elf by the name of Legolas in the realm of Middle Earth. Emma Frost tries to help Goliath by using her telekinetic powers on the Black Rider but it does not affect him. Seeing that she is of no help to this fight she then goes to attack Ben Kenobi. The Nazgul attacks and distraughts Goliath enough to allow Sinestro to come in and shoot a strong Energy Blasts with his Lantern Ring killing the Giant.

Emma Frost attempts to use her Telekinesis powers on Kenobi, but he is so One with the Force that she cannot penetrate through his mind. She realizes this and decides that she’s just gonna kick this old man’s ass the old school way. She turns on her diamond skin and goes to attack in hand-to-hand combat. But it is a quick fight as Kenobi uses his lightsaber to cut Frost in half right at the waist. Diamond Skin is no match for a lightsaber.

Gandalf, Sinestro, Kenobi and the Nazgul stand there thinking that the battle is over but then a loud roar is heard and an orange flame is seen through the cracks of the forest. Eventually Saruman and the Balrog of Moria appear out of the trees. Immediately Saruman shoots a blasts of flame at the Nazgul and kills the member of The Nine. The Balrog then grabs Sinestro with his whip of flames and brings the Lantern Ring bearer into his hands. The Son of Morgoth then brings Sinestro right in front of his mouth and then breathes fire onto Sinestro, killing him. Now it’s a 2 v 2 of Gandalf and Ben Kenobi versus Saruman and the Balrog of Moria. 

Kenobi and Saruman fight while Gandlaf and the Balrog of Moria have the rematch that everyone has been waiting for. Ben Kenobi, right off the bat, struggles with his battle with Saruman. The Maiar’s magic abilities are just too strong for Kenobi. Thankfully Kenobi is a Form three and is at least able to defend himself enough to stay alive. 

Normally Gandalf the Grey versus the balrog of Moria is a pretty even match but this one is a little different. Gandalf is on his final death and he has an Elven Ring. Gandalf uses the Elven Ring and his powers from being a Wielder of the Flame of Anor to create a very bright light from his staff. This blinds the Balrog and Gandalf capitalizes. He then uses his elven ring to put some of the Flame of Anor into his sword, he then stabs that sword through the chest of the Balrog. Light prevails in this battle and kills the legendary Balrog. 

Gandalf then goes to help Kenobi with fighting Saruman. At this point Kenobi is so tired from defending an endless onslaught from the White Wizard that he is completely drained of energy. It has basically become a 1 v 1 between the two wizards. Gandalf at first holds his own with the help of the Elven Ring, but eventually is defeated by Saruman as his powers as being the White Wizard were just too strong for the Grey Wizard. 

Now it’s Kenobi versus Saruman. Kenobi is helpless as even though he is one with the force, he is still an old man and visibly tired from this battle. Kenobi gets into a defensive stance to try and defend himself and just as Saruman pushes to attack, he realizes he can not move. He looks down and sees that his legs have been wrapped around by tree roots. He tries to use magic to get his legs out of the tree trunks but this just makes the roots tighten on his legs. The roots then pull Saruman down underground where he will never be seen again. 

Team Crack Danks had done much damage to the Fangorn Forest, angering the members of the forest. Thus causing the act of violence towards the White Wizard. 

Kenobi finally realizes what that weird energy was that he had felt when he first entered the forest. He realized that the trees were alive. And not only that they were alive, but they could think and have emotions.

Be Gentle vs. Ahsoka's

 Be Gentle:  The doctor, prof. Xavier, Nazgul riding a fell beast, 5 wolfs , 3 warg riders riding 3 warg , 3 cave trolls , 4 fell beasts, dwarves 4pts, clover field monster , 2 allosaurus

Ahsoka's Acrobatic Assassins: Galadriel , Sauron , Witch King of Angmar (-4) on Witch King's Mordor Horse , Haldir , Elf #6-20 (all -4), Uruk Hai #4 (1) (-4)

Sorry for the half assed match, juices were drained tonight

Be Gentle has recently taken refuge in the fangorn forest as their team continues to grow slim, but they continue to move quickly on to the next setting leaving a few back in the forest to fend off the teams coming after them.  Their Nazgul riding a fell beast takes watch as the team continues to retreat.  While flying high in the sky the nazgul is struck by an arrow of none other than Haldir.  The nazgul lets out a screech alerting the rest of the squad that stayed back to fight.

The Witch King of Angmar quickly rides into the forest on his Mordor Horse at blazing buffhorse speed to lead Ahsoka’s team into the fight. In the forest the Witch King spots some cave trolls and kills them for sport as they are nothing to him.  This cleared the way for Lady Galadriel to come in with a wolf at her side.  While making way through the forest Lady Galadriel is met by a bald man in a chair and a doctor.  She is confused as to why they are in this forest just sitting here in the forest like Kyle watching Gladiator for the 700th time.  They were sitting there in pure amazement of her beauty, but this wasn’t enough for the combined brain power of the two.  They begin to take control of this fight by the bald guy who actually turns out to be Professor Xavier (who woulda thought) taking control of Lady Galadriel’s thoughts.  Normally this would be enough to take her on but it bought them enough time to have the Cloverfield Monster slay her ass like a fat kid does a hot pocket.  She was gone in a flash.  

The wolf lets out a cry and reveals its true identity.  It was Sauron, the big bad ass who finna whoop some scared ass.  Sauron, enraged at the death of his ally, slays the Doctor and Professor xavier.  He burns the doctor alive as he finds it amusing at how weak he is compared to him.  He then took the head of Professor Xavier and rode away in his chair because he didn’t feel like walking.  

As Haldir continues to slay all the weakling characters Gentle has left behind he is confronted by the Nazgul on a fell beast.  He went to draw his bow but wasn’t fast enough as the fell beast took Haldir out.  The Witch King notices what happens, drops the nazgul and fell beast like Thanos did with The Hulk at the beginning of Infinity War.  The Witch really out here boxin like he’s Mike Tyson.  

This just leaves The Witch King and Sauron to face the Cloverfield monster.  The monster instantly leaps at them to attack but both are able to dodge.  The forest is starting to take some damage and tree beard is gonna be pissed if we don’t get this match over soon, so let's do it.  Normally the presence of The Witch King would make those who opposed him run in fear but just as terrifying the monster stays in the fight but can’t take on both the ability of fire from The King and Sauron as they light the monster ablaze and cook it alive.  Sauron and The Witch King cause the Gentle Team to continue their retreat to the next week.  

TEAM Vs. The Striders of Rohan

 TEAM is Nekron, Black Lantern Wolverine, Black Lantern Non, Neo, Earthworm Jim, & Bob the Tear Off Guy (w/ Tear Off Tool, Partially broken radio, & Bob Dylan Cassette).

The Striders of Rohan are Treebeard, Zombie Treebeard, Arwen Evenstar (w/ a Blue Lantern Ring), The Two Blue Wizards, Radaghast the Brown, Bilbo Baggins, & Rider of Rohan #8.  

"I DON'T WANNA WORK, I WANNA BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY......  I DON'T WANNA WORK I WANNA BANG ON THE DRUM ALL DAY"!!  "HERE COME THE STORY OF HURRICANE, MLEH, BLAH, BLAH, MEH TIME TO BLAME".  KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN ON HEAVEN'S DOOOOOOR YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH".  COME ON SING IT NEO.  SING IT EARTHWORM.  YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH.  WE GOT THIS GUYS WE GOT THIS.  LET'S DO THIS FIGHT, THERE'S NO MONEY IN THIS MATCH.  YOU HEAR ME BIG NON, THERE AIN'T NO MONEY IN THIS MATCH.  WE GOTTA GO GOTTA GO.  LET'S DO THIS.  HURRY UP.  WE GOTTA FINISH THIS,  DYNASTY STARTS IN TWO HOURS.  I'M NOT MISSIN IT AGAIN.  GOTTA GET HOME.  I NEED TO WATCH MY NEPHEW IN THREE HOURS.  I JUST TOOK A DUMP IN A SHINGLE WRAPPER BEHIND THAT TREE.  I'M READY TO GO.  GO GO GO GO.   ALL ALONG THE WATCH TOWERRRRRRRRR.  THERE MUST BE SOME KIND OF WAY OUT OF THIS, SAID THE ROOFER TO THE THIEF.  HAHA HA.  SO MUCH CONFUSION, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH RELIEF".  

"HA-HAAAAAA".

Says Bob the Tear Off Guy significantly faster and louder than you can possibly read it.  

Black Lantern Wolverine speaks up:  "I can't take this s^&*T anymore Nekron.  Let me frag em so we can get on with this fight".

Neo answers before Nekron can with:  "Nobody is fragging anybody, just keep your eyes peeled for The Striders of Rohan.  They thrive here amongst the trees".  

"That's my point Bub.  This guy gives away our position with his singing or whatever the Hell that was.  Not to mention he smells like burnt armadillo feces".  

This gives way to an unwanted conversation between Bob and Wolverine:

"DIDJOO SAY BOB, WOLVIE"?!!?

"No, I said Bub".

"HA-HAAAAAA.  THAT REMINDS ME OF THAT TIME I GOT CALLED BUB ON THE JOB IN MONROE.  U SHOULDA BEEN THERE LOGAN.  SHOULDA BEEN THERE.  90 SQUARE OFF AND ON, ONE DAY.  30 SQUARE 3 TIMES.  JUST ME, MY COUSIN, ZIPPY, & 5 GUATAMALANS.  SHOULDA BEEN THERE".  

"THERE WE WAS GUYS SHINGLING RIGHT NEXT TO"....

But Bob is cut-off mid sentence.  And very literally cut off; as the Eighth Rider of Rohan seemingly came out of nowhere to relieve the Tear Off Crew Leader of his head.  

The TEAMmates look around to see that The Striders have peered through the trees and that they have them completely surrounded.  Their unofficial leader Arwen speaks up softly and says:  "Your tear off friend speaks so loudly that we could have shot him in the dark".  

The Striders know that they have the clear advantage in this setting but also recognize that the TEAM they are facing is in no way short on raw power.  Arwen and Treebeard have slowly and painstakingly formulated a plan of attack and they move swiftly but with caution as well.  

Radaghast leads the two Blue Wizards into the fray where they are easily able to over come the Kryptonian side of Non with their magic and the black lantern element with their mastery of two different color spectrums.  Non's brute strength may be hard to overcome, but his lack of intellect becomes too large of a weakness.  Non lets out a massive, anger fueled blast of Heat Vision that takes out the Second Blue Wizard with a blast to the neck before he succumbs to the magical might of the Valor chosen magic wielders of the Second Age.  

Zombie Treebeard in actuality, is not really much of a Zombie.  Sure, some of his bark is crumbling and his leaves showing signs of whither; but there is far more life than death within the oldest living being of Middle Earth.  Nekron attacks the massive Ent with a vengeance, in an attempt to overload the....  I almost called him a tree; but I know better...  But even with Nekron's extreme power in the realm of destroying the living he is met with resistance.  Nekron goes translucent and phases himself to fully enters the body of (Zombie) Treebeard, causing the rush of life and rush of death to nullify both parties.  Regular Treebeard feels a twinge of extra life enter him once his counterpart can no longer use the power essence.  

Black Lantern Wolverine rushes in towards Arwen and the Rohan Rider, never once thinking that he was out of his league by attacking two combatants at once.  After all, he is the best at what he does.  He quickly dispatches the Rohirim Member and moves towards Arwen next.  She is able to parry his opening attacks, displaying a mastery of Elvish bladework, and is also greatly helped by her protective blue lantern aura.  This duel continues while a pitched battle between Neo and Treebeard begins as well, with Neo surprised that his martial arts offensive blitz was not immediately successful.  

As these intense battles rage on, Bilbo and Earthworm Jim get to talking and decide that all this violence is tiresome.  Bilbo brings out some snacks and offers to share some of his freshly harvested leaf from The Shire.  They begin sharing a pipe and discuss adventures from the past amidst smiles and laughter.

They break in to a jolly Hobbit song that will be passed down for many ages:  

"Well we seen the death and we seen the fights, 

we felt the prickly bushes of thorn, 

and we saw the bodies piled up,

 sadly at Fangorn".

We seen the mighty wizard's staffs

And the swords held quite firm

But I never quite had such laughs..............

TILL I GOT HIGH WITH THIS WORM".

Both Arwen and Treebeard are holding off their assailants well; but seem to be on the receiving end more than the delivering in their battles, until some remaining Striders come to their rescue in an attempt to tip the scales.  Neo diverts his attention from Treebeard to send a Kung Fu Kick directly through the chest of the remaining Blue Wizard; but Radaghast sends a flurry of magic aided birds and squirrels into Neo; stunning him long enough for the massive Ent to grab the Chosen One and rip him in two.  Wolverine, more ruthless than ever in his Black Lantern form lays waste to every animal in his path before shoving his claws up under the chin of Radaghast.  This kills the wizard but releases his brown energy into the air which melds with Arwen's blue energy creating a death chance for Logan which is taken advantage of by a sharp stick appendage through his eye by Treebeard and a chest thrust from Hadafang in the hands of Arwen.

Bilbo tells a small harmless fib to his fellow Striders about the destruction of Earthworm Jim while the friendly Halfling allows the worm to burrow back into the dirt and head safely back to TEAM's Home Base.