The Horsemen of Apokolips Vs. Hannah Montana and Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

The Horsemen of Apokolips are Charleton Heston (designated leader), Darkseid, Taskmaster, Achilles, Fremen #31-42, Supergirl, Havok, Polaris, Gozar: the Gozarian, Parasite, Sinestro, Scarlet Witch, Shazam, & Sabertooth.

Hannah Montana.... are Albus Dumbledore (designated leader), The Cloverfield Monster, Dave Bowman: The Starchild, Qui Gonn Jinn, Bizarro Superman, Willow Rosenburg, Juda Ben Hur, Bronze Dragon #1-6, Jack Crowe, General Grevious, Spider Man, Harry Potter, Buffy Summers, Venus & Serena Williams, Hannah Montana, & Jar Jar Binks.

Dumbledor, who gave a scathing speach back in the locker room that included comments such as "It shouldn't be God bless the Horsemen of Apokolips it is God Damn the Horsemen" recieved a full endorsement from head coach Barack Obama who was very impressed with this kind of retoric and gave Dumbledor the nod to be designated leader. Despite how much this caused Hannah Montana to be upset causing her to release what has come to be called "The pink cell phone ad" which question who they want answering the calls and making the big decisions in the locker room. Despite all this controversy Hannah and Barack both contend that they are the best of friends and that they would both be much better head coaches or designated leaders than Charleton Heston or Vandal Savage. Oh yeah; I almost forgot about the battle. As soon as we start Supergirl and Bizarro instantly go after each other. They take to the air and instantly start inflicting massive amounts of damage on each other but they also both have an amazing ability to take a hit and keep on fighting. Dumbledor has instructed his people to stay away from the Cloverfield Monster and just let it do its thing, which it does and begins releasing many little aliens all over the sand. The Fremen surround General Grevious as he pulls out 4 lightsabers and attacks. The general is very suprised to see how fast the Fremen can move in the sand. Even with the force attributes taught to him by Count Dooku, Grevious is having trouble keeping up with them. The Cyborg manages to kill Fremen # 33 & 42 by stabbing them in the chest and kills Fremen #41 with a swift metal kick to the head. Although 2 other Fremen jump on his back and begin breaking the metal head right off of the cyborg it is at this moment when he is trying to get them off that Fremen #31 stabs his crysknife into the beating heart of Grevious by reaching his now bloodied and bruised hand through the wires and circuits of the general's chest. This kills Grevious but the other Fremen who did not stab his heart feel compelled to cut off their own pinky fingers due to the fact that they pulled out their sacred crysknives without allowing them to taste blood. Parasite is going around to the smaller monsters that are being sent out by the much larger Cloverfield Monster and absorbing some of their strength. This enrages the larger monster causing him to step on Parasite putting his claw like feet into Parasite skewering him in many places. Scarlet Witch turns all of the smaller monsters into harmless stuffed animals but Willow turns them back into monsters. Scarlet Witch then turns them all to stone but Willow again turns them all back this time making them bigger and stronger then they were before. Jar Jar Binks thinks about how great it would be to be back at home playing with the bosses' Hey da blibber which causes Gozar: the Gozarian to create a giant Hey da blibber to come destroy the Hannah Montana crew. Dave Bowman stands in front of it and simply puts up his hand to redirect the huge contraption. It goes right back into Gozar crushing her in cosmic power. When Gozar dies the living Hey da blibber disapears. Heston who is armed with a full auto M-16, a Benelli pistol grip 12 gauge strapped to his back, 2 Colt 1911 A-1's in .45 acp, and an AMT back-up in .40 S&W in an ankle holster says "keep up the fight troops, I'm going after this good looking gentleman over there", as he points to Juda Ben Hur; but Achilles who was never much for following orders says "No, he's mine" Juda and Achilles are both armed with a sword and shield as they begin to walk over to each other (this would have been a great oppurtunity to have one hell of a chariot fight but niether one of these two team owners had the foresight to draft any horses so, oh well). As they near each other Achilles droops his shield on the ground causing Juda to say "Alas why would you disgard your defense when you approach a worthy opponent". Achilles, as he is doing a spin move where he gets to the back of Juda cutting off his left leg above the knee and then finishes by relieving Ben Hur of his head replies with "Because you are not a worthy opponent". Sinestro takes to the air to meet the 6 Bronze dragons. He begins flying around them at intense speeds and actually flies right thru one of them killing it. Darkseid goes after Qui Gonn by shooting him with several blasts of Omega Beams. Qui Gonn manages to block them with his lightsaber and tries to bring the fight in a little closer. Qui Gonn jumps in with a drop kick but it does not even budge the villain. He then goes for a head shot with his lightsaber but Darkseid dodges it and it barely nicks his shoulder. This still causes Darkseid to yell a little from the pain as he grabs a hold of Qui Gonn and snaps his neck. Taskmaster and Buffy begin to fight hand to hand. Buffy is amazed that every move she uses on Taskmaster he is able to instantly duplicate. Buffy manages to get a good kick in to his head but then he uses a move he learned from her that she had not even done yet. With a wooden stake that he had pulled out of her belt he trips her onto the ground and in one motion stabs it into her heart. The Williams sisters run up on Polaris. The sisters, who have no idea what crazy powers they are going to see next cringe when Polaris first puts up her hands. They are then very suprised when nothing happens to them whatsoever as they beat her to death with wooden tennis rackets. Havok sees this out of the corner of his eye and is heartbroken at the sight of what has happened to his wife but he is busy fighting Harry Potter who is rapidly flying around him on his broomstick evading the solar blasts Havok is shooting at him. Now in a state of full rage Havok lets out a scream and widens the spray making a huge blast that obliterates the broomstick and kills young Harry. Willow and Scarlet Witch are still going back and forth in their magical contest when Willow gets sick of holding back. Willow turns one of the monsters into a huge blade which she sends flying into the head of Scarlet Witch. Now overcome with her own power turns on Taskmaster and Fremen #40 making their own clothes strangle them to death. She then realizes that she has allowed the Cloverfield Monster to get to close to her even though it was the first thing Dumbledor warned them about; but at this point she no longer cares who is on her team and who isn't. In a state of pure rage she unleashes her full power destroying the huge monster as well as her fragile human body which was in no way made to handle such power. Sinestro Creates a huge flaming yellow sword which he wields in his battle with the dragons. He cuts the heads off of 2 of them and the wings off of 2 more causing them to plummet to the ground. The other one he catches in a huge net made out of yellow energy and swings the net over his head throwing it. It lands on top of Jack Crowe and kills both him and the last dragon. Bizarro and Supergirl have been battling for a very long time and are both exhausted. Bizarro has a little bit of an edge in both speed and strength but what Supergirl loses in those two areas she more than makes up for it in intelligence. Bizarro flies at her with all his remaining might but she gets out of the way and begins pushing him and flying toward a huge mass of rocks. Using his strength against him the 2 of them go crashing into the ground with her using him to cushion her fall. Bizarro dies. Darkseid and Sinestro are locked in a cosmic power struggle with the Starchild when Bowman puts the vision in both of their heads of what his perfect universe would be and how he needs to destroy them to make that happen. Darkseid & Sinestro who have both enjoyed decades of bleeding entire planets dry of their resources for their own benefit are nothing but offended by such blasphemy. They both turn their combined might on the Starchild and obliterate him. Dumbledor and Spider Man have been battling with Shazam and Sabertooth for quite a while when Spider Man trips up Sabertooth and then blasts him with webbing, restraining him. But Shazam blasts the mutant free and then throws Sabertoorh into Spider Man. Sabertooth sticks his nails into the neck of Spidey and kills him. Dumbledor is furious as whips up a spell that does something pretty similar. He waves his wand and throws Sabertooth into Shazam. His adamantium skeleton being more than hard enough to go right through Shazam. Although that is the only part of him that went through as the limp boneless mass of Sabertooth lay on the ground next to the body of Shazam. The Fremen pop up next to Serena and Venus and make very short work of them, they then go and join Heston, Darkseid, Achilles, Supergirl, Havok, and Sinestro who have Hannah Montana and Jar Jar surrounded. Achilles says "Shall we finish them" and Jar Jar of course says "My give up", but just then Dumbledor appears out of nowhere right next to the tween and the gungan. Jar Jar says "My still give up" and Hannah says "Do something Dumbledor" but Dumbledor says "there will be another time young Miley". He then claps his hands above his head and grabs both Jar Jar and Hannah Montana as a firey red Phoenix swoops in and carries the 3 of them to safety.
THE HORSMEN OF APOKOLIPS ARE VICTORIOUS!