Beckerman's Backyardigans Beeyaatches vs. Built Ford Tough

Beckerman’s Backyardigan’s Beeyaatches are Darth Vader, Orion, Doomsday and Dementor #1.

Built Ford Tough is US Agent, Solid Snake, Severus Snape, Fantastic Max, AB & FX, Mr. T, Beta Ray Bill, Indiana Jones and The Doctor.

“Apology excepted, Captain Needa”. Tasha looks back at Uniqua who is frightened and says, “See, I told you Lord Vader does not except failure”.
Just then the disc on the Laserdisc player stops and ejects. Tasha grabs the remote control and presses play to no avail.
“How many times do I have to tell you Tasha, that I do not want you watching these films”, a very stern Darth Vader says.
“Sorry Lord Vader, I just wanted to show Uniqua that you do not like it when teammates of yours fail you. I just wanted to make sure she understood that so that she would never lose sight of the prize.”
“Well then, I suppose I can let this one slide. Why must you always watch the original Trilogy though, I prefer the prequels. At least that trilogy has a happy ending”. Then Lord Vader walks out of the room and joins his team as they are transported to Val Verde.

Despite the fact that Beta Ray Bill is a rookie (starting in his first match no less), he still knows that the battle ahead is going to be a difficult one. He is confident in the team he has surrounding him, but he knows that in order to defeat the division winner, he is going to have to come out with as much force as possible right from the beginning. His plan comes to him almost immediately and right away he lets everyone on ‘Built Ford Tough’ in on it. The plan is to make the Jungle of Val Verde as chaotic as possible. Luckily for him, his team has the advantage, as they are the first team transported to the battlefield.
Immediately upon arriving, Bill takes out his hammer “Storm Breaker” and cast down hundreds of bolts of lightening on the jungle, causing it to burst into flames. He has also instructed his teammate, Severus Snape, to inflict as much damage upon the jungle as possible. The remaining members of ‘Built Ford Tough’ are lying low, as not to be killed by the inferno caused by their teammates.

Darth Vader and his team are transported to the battlefield and are immediately met with a blaze of heat that would have killed any mortal man. Vader instantly uses the force to snuff out the fire around him and his team and begins to see if he can sense where his opponent’s are starting from.
“I sense fear coming from this direction, but with it a great power. We will give them no mercy”, Lord Vader states as Doomsday and Orion stare back at him. Dementor #1 stays with his team at first, but quickly flies away looking for the first pleasant soul that he can feast on.

Beta Ray Bill knows that with the fire, he will gain much-needed cover to protect his team. The only downside to his plan is that has made spreading out a bit more difficult, though not impossible. Snape has created small pathways for his teammates to travel through. Which allows them the advantage of moving about much more freely then they would have otherwise. They are traveling together in small groups, each of which is lead by different members. The first group to go off is US Agent and Solid Snake. They have become quick friends in the locker room and are instantly off looking for someone to kill. The other group includes Indiana Jones, Mr. T, Fantastic Max, FX, AB and the Doctor. Indy, who is really wishing that this place wasn’t a huge ball of fire, leads the group.
“I know old horse face up there is powerful and all, but I’m not too sure if this whole fire thing was the best idea”.
“I know Indy, he’s a damn fool.” Mr. T proclaims with his usual piss and vinegar attitude.
“Now fellows, he came up with a plan and I say we stick to it. I must also mention that maybe it would be best if I led this little troop.” The Doctor says this and gets a blank stare back from everyone in his group. Though, being the Time Lord he is, takes no notice of this at all and instantly takes control of his group. Mr. T then looks at Indy and says,
“Who does this fairy think he is, Jesus Christ?”
Indy looks back at Mr. T and replies with, “No, we left him at home. Oh well, he seems pretty confident, though he does remind me of Marcus Brody.”

A very determined Doomsday comes crashing through the flames, not even noticing that the heat is scorching his harden skin. Just then, out of nowhere, Doomsday is knocked in the head by US Agents shield. The attack on him does little damage but it does take his attention away for a moment, which gives Snake the time he needs to attack Doomsday from behind, sending him crashing into a fiery inferno down below. The two ‘Ford’ teammates know this will not be enough to kill their opponent, but it does give them the time they need to go back and join up with Snape.

Dementor #1 has been watching closely from above and soon enough finds his easiest target. Sensing the innocence of a young boy, he quickly zeros in and swoops down to where he is. Fantastic Max who was joined by his two toy friends suddenly feels cold and soon has the feeling of death come over his body. His fellow teammates feel the same way and though they know they have to stop the creature, they cannot move to do so. Shortly thereafter the Dementors' 'Kiss' has taken Max’s soul away from him, ending his very short life. This enrages Mr. T who cannot stand to see such an atrocity take place in front of him.
Though he comes at the Dementor with all his might, Mr. T meets the same demise as his teammate. As soon as Mr. T is killed, it becomes quite clear to Indy and the Doctor that they too would meet the same end if they do not escape as quickly as possible. This naturally is easier said then done, because shortly after, both of them are knocked to the ground, paralyzed by the overwhelming fear and sadness that the Dementor has caused them to feel.

Orion takes off into the air only to be met by Bill’s hammer “Storm Breaker”. Orion is sent flying into the air and down back onto the ground. Though a bit shaken up, he is not seriously hurt and quickly takes off again.
“You didn’t think I was going to make this easy on you, did you?”
“Of course not, I only wish for your sake you would have…” just as Orion starts to speak, multiple lightening bolts began to strike down on him from everywhere, knocking him to the ground once again. This time Bill follows him down to the ground and repeatedly comes crashing down on him with his hammer. Orion is not so lucky this time around, as one of his boosters has become damaged, making flight impossible at this time. Orion now realizes what has happened, evading Bill’s next hit and blasting him with his “Astro Force”, which sends Beta Ray Bill flying hundreds of yards through the flaming jungle. Orion, due to his regenerative abilities, is as good as ever and starts his way through the jungle in search for his opponent.

Doomsday doesn’t understand how he could have been taken down so easily. This angers him greatly, making his already fearsome demeanor seem even more powerful. He makes his way through the jungle with even less restraint then before, knocking over flaming trees with the ease of a plow going through snow. Doomsday begins to speed up as he sees his two opponents ahead of him. US Agent and Solid Snake know they are in for the fight of their lives and know that the only way they will stand a chance against him, is if they can find Severus in time.

Indy and Doctor Who were thinking the same exact thing as the Dementor hovered above them ready to go in for the kill. Just as they assumed hope was lost, a bright light appeared overhead, knocking the Dementor straight up into the blazing sky. Indy and the Doctor both looked up and saw Severus Snape staring straight back at them. Severus in his usual droll voice says, “It looked like the two of you could use some help. Now get up and come with me.” The three of them take off but not before grabbing FX and AB, who were lying next to the dead body of their friend.

US Agent was hoping to catch up to Snape in time for his encounter with Doomsday, but it was now very apparent that this was not going to happen. When Doomsday finally catches up to him, it only takes mere seconds for him to tear US Agent’s body into pieces. Solid Snake sees this and in a bought of rage, runs after the giant menace with every intention of not coming out alive. This may have happened, but right as Snake was about to attack Doomsday, he is blasted to the ground by a bolt of energy from his teammates wand.
“Stay away from him you twit, this stone behemoth is mine”, a very stern Severus Snape says as he unloads his magic upon the Superman killer. Doomsday is knocked to the ground and is visibly shaken by the spell. Doomsday gets back up but is instantly knocked back down by the wizard, who yells at his teammates to go find Bill and stay close to him. Indy, Snake, The Doctor and the two toy friends run as fast as they can towards the base camp that they are hoping is still there.

Orion is moving through the jungle at a great rate of speed when he runs into a seemingly lost man. Normally in a battle you are to attack anyone not on your team, but since Orion was brought up to contain his rage, he decides to talk to the man instead.
“Excuse me, what are you doing here?”
“Oh yes, I’m glad you asked me that. I’m looking for the base camp of Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches. I was transported in the wrong spot and was supposed to meet up with you guys somewhere.” A very convincing Doctor Who states. “If you would like to see my identification, I have it with me.”
Orion for some reason looks at the ID and sees that it reads Prime Minister Tony Blair, member of Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches. He doesn’t remember seeing Tony Blair in their locker room, but since he is new to the team, he figures that it must be just an oversight on his part.
“Well, nice to meet you Mr. Blair. If you want to follow me, I am on my way to finding Beta Ray Bill. You haven’t seen him by chance have you?”
“As a matter of fact, he has”, Beta Ray Bill says to Orion just as he smashes him across the face with his hammer. “Good trick doctor, now get the rest of the people to safety and let me take care of this.”
“Right then, you are the boss Bill” The Doctor along with Snake, Indy and the toys are off once again to find a safe place to hide.

“Do you really think you can kill me with your measly magic Severus?” Doomsday says as he stands up and looks at the wizard. “No, I don’t think I can kill you, I know I can”. Just as Snape says this, Doomsday comes running full speed at him but is suddenly stopped, dead in his tracks. Doomsday looks stunned as he is hit by a green blast that is accompanied by the words, “Avada Kedavra”. Severus Snape has hit Doomsday with the killing curse, which instantly takes the life away from the once powerful villain. Snape stands there for a while taking in what he had done. Soon enough though, he takes off once again in search of his teammates.

Orion and Bill have been at it for sometime now, trading blow after blow, lightening bolt for energy blast. Orion seemed to be at a disadvantage because Bill never seemed to slow down. He was constantly flying above and coming back down on top of him, causing such a commotion, as to make it so no one in the jungle could escape the noise. This gave Indy and the gang comfort of some sort, as they knew their leader was still alive. Just as they had made it back to their camp though, the Doctor clutched at his throat and fell to the ground. He reached for his Sonic Screwdriver and even managed to get off a blast, but it was of no use. Snake even tried to help the Doctor up, but it was too late, he was already dead.
“Darth Vader, fancy meeting you here”, Indy said to the Sith Lord. Just then Vader takes out his light saber and ignites it. Snake instinctively pulls out his gun and begins to fire it at Vader. Vader easily deflects the shots and knocks the gun out of his hands. Vader then jumps in the air and in one quick motion comes down with his sword, slicing through the body of Solid Snake. Mere seconds after Snakes death though, Indy manages to knock Vader’s laser sword out of his hands. Vader then force pushes Indiana Jones down to the ground into a burning tree. Indy’s clothes catch fire and he is forced to take off his jacket.
At this time FX and AB are down on the ground trying to get to Lord Vader’s light saber before he can. Their effort, though valiant, is a useless one as Vader pick’s it up and in one fluid motion, crushes both toys with his bare hands.
Vader once again ignites his light saber and goes in for the kill on Indy when he senses something coming from behind him. He senses great power and through the force hears the words “Avada Kedavra”. He immediately turns around and blocks a green blast from the wand of Severus Snape.
“You may have killed Doomsday with your sorcery, but you are no match for the dark side of the force.”
Severus Snape looks directly back at the Sith Lord and says, “Well Lord Vader, I’d like to test that theory.”
Severus Snape lets out a constant barrage of blasts from his wand, but they are all absorbed by Vader’s lightsaber. Snape knows deep down that Vader is more powerful then him, but he is hoping that Vader’s power has also clouded his mind.
“I sense a great deal of fear and hatred in you Severus. That can be a powerful weapon in the right hands, but your fear clouds your judgment more than anything.”
“What fear, I fear nothing Lord Vader. You must be misunderstanding something”, Snape says with a look of worry in his eyes.
“I misunderstand nothing Severus, you have several fears. For right now though, you fear but only one thing”, Vader says.
“And what would that be?”
“You fear this”, just then, Vader crushes the wand in Snapes hand, shattering it into pieces. Snape doesn’t even have time to react, as he is force pushed down to the ground. As Snape lies there on the ground, just beginning to realize what has happened to him, he feels the blade of the light saber pierce his stomach. Vader makes sure to slowly slide the blade into his gut, hoping that the slow death will give him the extra time to understand the true power of the dark side.
“Take this as a lesson Severus, for next time, I would like you to at least put up a fight.” Snape hears Vader’s words as he dies, filling his heart with more rage than he had ever felt in his life.

Indy has since run off in hopes of finding Beta Ray Bill. He began to worry since he stopped hearing sounds of a battle about five minutes ago. Indy continued to run through the jungle, as he knew Lord Vader was just behind him. He hoped that Snape was able to take him, but he kind of assumed the worse. Just then Indy looked up and saw Bill flying above him. He tried to signal down to him but the flames of the trees were just too thick to get through. Indy was tired and hot and though he wanted to stop and rest, he knew that he was in no position to so.
As he was running through the smoldering jungle, he began to feel coldness near him. At first it felt like relief from the heat, but soon enough he recognized the feeling not as a break from the heat, but as a cold sadness rushing through his veins. All this time he had assumed that Snapes’ spell had killed the Dementor, but in reality it had only driven it away. As in before, Indy felt like he could not move; only this time he almost relished the fact that the Dementor had come to kill him. The Dementor hovered over him with his dark stare and began to take his soul.
Indy lied there on the ash covered ground and just waited for death to overtake him. The Dementor was just about to finish his task when Indy saw Beta Ray Bill coming for him. Indy hoped that he was going to be fast enough but right as Bill came close enough to do anything, the Dementor succeeded in taking the life away from Indiana Jones.
“That was a bad move my friend”, Bill said to the soon to be dead Dementor.
As the Dementor had finished up on Indy, Bill took “Storm Breaker” and smashed the once whole Dementor into a thousand tiny pieces. It looked like a big cloud of black dust as the hammer came crashing down on the Dementor. Bill then flew back up into the air, hoping to finish this ridiculously long drawn out match once and for all.

Darth Vader had felt the death of the Dementor and did worry because he could not sense Orion at all. He made his way through the jungle quite quickly and it was only a matter of time before he found the body of Orion. He was not dead, but he was barely alive. He knew with the healing factor that if given enough time he would be fine. Just as Vader thought this, he felt the oncoming approach of Beta Ray Bill and ignited his light saber once more. The dark lord of the Sith was shocked to see how unharmed the Korbinite looked, he would have thought his teammate would have put up a better fight then he did.

Bill was coming straight for Lord Vader when he noticed that the jungle’s fire was no longer acting in a sporadic manner. It was too late before he realized what was going on though, as the flames of his own doing began to consume him. He tried to get away from them until he realized that he could not escape Vader’s control.
He decided to use this to his advantage, so instead of running away, he flew directly towards them. Vader tried to keep him from racing in towards him but the wild Korbinite was too powerful to control. Bill came crashing down on top of Vader and Orion, engulfing all three of them in flames.
Vader, though powerful with the dark side of the force, was not powerful enough to withstand the brute force of the impact with the meteor known as Beta Ray Bill. It also didn’t help that as soon as Bill crashed down on them, he took “Storm Breaker” and smashed it onto Darth Vader’s head, killing him instantly. Bill now lying on the ground next to Orion was beaten and hurt. He looked over at his opponent and hoped he was dead. Knowing full well that hoping was not enough to kill someone as powerful as Orion, Bill stood up one more time and lifted “Storm Breaker” above his head and began to put the final blow on Orion. With all his might, Beta Ray Bill came crashing down on Orion. Unfortunately for Bill though, his final blow turned out to be anything but. Though Orion had been beaten down this entire match, he had not lost any of his power. While he was lying there, he had created a force field around him, making him virtually impervious to anything.
Beta Ray Bill was shocked when his hammer strike had no effect and was even more shocked when Orion blasted “Storm Breaker” out of his hands, sending it off into the jungle by itself. Beta Ray Bill though still powerful without his hammer, was at this point no match for Orion. Who with one more blast from his wristband, shattered the skull of the mighty alien, giving the Backyardigans their first and very hard fought victory of the second season.

Beckerman’s Backyardigans Beeyaatches are victorious!

(Editor’s Notes: I once again tried to make this as short as possible, but as you can tell I failed miserably. I also wanted to make a note on the structure of the story. If at times it seems like the match might be switching from past to present tense, it’s because it is. After I wrote the story I decided to change it from past to present tense, possibly making it confusing in some spots. I pretty much re-wrote the story to make the fix but just in case I missed something, I wanted to let you know.

I also want you to know that the reference to Jesus Christ being on Jared’s team was in reference to the fact that ‘Aslan the Lion’ is on his team. There are also many Dr. Who references in the story that may not make any sense either. Anyways, thanks again for allowing me to write my overlong stories on this site and if you actually made it through the story, thanks for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it.

P.S. I also want to say kudos to Josh, Ryan and Bryan for writing these stories week in and week out. I don’t know how you do it and I just want to say that you guys deserve all the credit in the world for doing so. God only knows how long this season would last if I had to write every week.)