Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurv vs The Abomitrons

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurv is Mace Windu, Black Bolt, Medusa, Gorgon, Karnak, Peter Petrelli, and Marv.

The Abomitrons are Hancock, Blade, Iron Monger, Commander Cody, Captain Rex, Elite Clone Troopers #21-24, Diddy Kong, Ewok #49 and Treasure Troll #27.

Both teams are teleported to the deepest, darkest part of the jungle of Val Verde. Commander Cody and Captain Rex take the Elite Clonetroopers to fortify their position. Diddy Kong leaps into the trees, where he’s more comfortable. Kennelz veterans Mace Windu and Marv lead their rookie squad of the Inhumans and Peter Petrelli down a hillside to battle The Abomitrons. They are forced to scatter by the Elite Clonetroopers’s gun blasts. But Gorgon stamps his cloven hoof on the ground and creates a small earthquake. The ground splits open from his mighty stomp and swallows Elite Clonetrooper #23, Ewok #49, and Treasure Troll #27. Marv rushes in and attacks all of the clones by himself. He kicks Cody in the chest, knocking him into Elite Clonetrooper #22 and then uppercuts Rex. Elite Clonetrooper #21 and 24 try and double-team Marv, but both receive a couple slugs in the chest courtesy of Gladys (which is what Marv calls his gun). Elite Clonetrooper #22 charges at Marv, but ends up having his neck broken. The valiant Elite Clonetrooper, known as “Double Deuce,” didn’t die in vain though, because while Marv was busy with him, it allowed Rex and Cody to blast him into next week. Hancock flies into the battle and immediately goes after Mace Windu. He’s about to lay the Jedi Master out, when he is smacked down to the ground by Medusa’s hair. “Oh you DID NOT just hit me with you hair?!?” yells Hancock. He is then ensnared with her powerful mane and is whipped into a tree. “Lady you are really PISSING ME OFF!” says and increasingly angry Hancock. He grabs a hold of Medusa’s hair and spins her around, launching her over a waterfall to her death. After seeing his wife killed, Black Bolt unleashes a sonic scream that annihilates the trees in his path, as well as sending Hancock a few hundred feet back. Blade back flips out of the trees and dropkicks Karnak to the ground. The Inhuman quickly jumps back up and engages Blade in a fierce bout of martial arts. They are extremely well matched, with block after block, counter after counter, leaving the two almost at a stand still. Hancock flies back into battle, now after Black Bolt. He’s interrupted again, but this time by Gorgon kicking him as hard as he can, square in the face. Gorgon stomps the ground again, but this doesn’t do much to Hancock, who has already taken flight again. He swoops in fast and hard, grabbing Gorgon and carrying him high up into the air. “Let’s see you stomp something now,” quips Hancock as he throws Gorgon back down. The Inhuman causes another earthquake, but this time it’s due to his body slamming into the ground. Peter Petrelli during this battle has been focusing on Hancock and has adapted his powers. Peter takes off towards Hancock at an incredible rate. But he has yet to gain control of these new powers and Hancock is able to easily evade him on his way back down to the battle. Mace Windu leaps out of the way from Iron Monger’s machine guns, then races straight at him. He uses his lightsaber to cut off the guns. Iron Monger knocks the Jedi Master down and tries to stomp on him. Mace barrel rolls out of the way and damages one of Iron Monger’s foot rockets. He then runs at him again. Obadiah Stane tries to activate the feet rockets on his giant armored robot suit to evade the charging Jed, but they malfunction and Master Windu leaps onto Iron Monger’s chest. He drives his lightsaber right through his Arc Reactor and Stane’s own chest. Peter Petrelli flies back down into battle, but still hasn’t quite mastered it yet. Hancock seizes this advantage and punches Peter through several trees, inadvertently killing Diddy Kong in the process. Cody and Rex have been keeping their guns focused on Mace Windu, who is blocking every blast with his lightsaber. Karnak and Blade have still been locked in an awesome hand-to-hand battle (seriously it’s cooler than the montage scene at the end of Karate Kid). Karnak spin kicks Blade’s glave out of his hand, but then has his legs swept out from beneath him by the Daywalker. Blade then pulls out his kitana, but Karnak finds the weak point in it at karate chops it right in half. He knocks Blade down and leaps into the air to deliver the kill blow. Karnak is surprised when he feels a silver spike driven into his side, right underneath his rib cage. Karnak folds to the ground as Blade gets up and leaves his worthy adversary. Mace Windu works his way closer to the clones and first cuts their guns in half and then cuts down the two Clonetroopers. (Don’t you feel like he should have said something like “Order 66 that mutha^#@!%$”?) Hancock and Blade regroup to formulate a battle plan. But before they can mount an offensive the remaining three members of the Bad Newz Kennelz attack them. Peter Petrelli flies in right at Hancock laying massive rights and lefts on his surly opponent. Blade fires several bullets at Mace Windu but the Jedi dodges them and stakes Blade in the heart with his purple lightsaber. Hancock gets the upper hand on Petrelli and puts him in a rear naked choke. “Black Bolt just do it!” shouts Peter. “Awww hell no,” says Hancock as he snaps Peter’s neck. Mace Windu looks at Hancock, points his lightsaber at him and says “Hancock this battle is…” Black Bolt interrupts Mace and screams “OVER!” as loud as he can. Hancock digs his feet into the ground and starts trying to advance on them. His nose, ears, and even eyes start bleeding from Black Bolt’s hypersonic voice. He slowly moves closer, but the sound is starting to be too much for him to handle. He drops to one knee, but gets back up, determined to get his team to 2 and 0. Hancock falls again, this time on both knees, right in front of them. Master Windu tells Black Bolt to stop. Hancock spits blood out of his mouth. He then looks up at them and says “Gotcha.” Hancock snaps his arm up and grabs Black Bolt by the throat, he starts to squeeze, preventing the King of the Inhumans from uttering even a whisper. Mace then plunges his lightsaber into Hancock’s chest, finally ending this fierce battle. “You ok?” asks an exhausted Mace. Black Bolt simply nods “yes” as they leave Val Verde.

MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURV ARE VICTORIOUS!