The Right Wing Vs. The Syracuse Valley

The Right Wing is Poseidon, Silver Surfer, Kit Fisto, Phibian #11-17, Mikhail Bakunin, Ariel, Opee Sea Killer #1-6, Pirate #1-10, Droid Fighter Ship #1 & 2, Helen of Troy, Mr. Freeze, Quinlon Vos, Baby Storm, Red Tornado, Scrappy-Doo, & Martin Blank.

The Syracuse Valley is Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, Zit, Bossk, (movie) Jazz, Xenomorph #91-96, (movie) Megatron, (movie) Starscream, Sub-Zero, Scooter, U.S. Navy #60-71, Crasher, Darth Rave, Darth Techno, Rob Bartlett, Wingnut & Screwloose, Guille, Beavis, Butthead, Buttchunk, Wald, Shang Tsung, Knuckles, Rayne, Little Goomba #3, & Treasure Troll #4.


Right Wing Head Coach Mike Huckabee has instructed all members of his team that no matter how powerful they may be, that when in the water Poseidon is to be considered the battlefield general. When Jedi General Quinlon Vos replied that Coach Huckabee need not worry about the match because they were all confident in their victory, the former Arkansas Governor let Master Vos and the rest of the team know that winning is not enough this week. The Right Wing plan that was laid out for them was to prove that they are the premier water squad in all of FFL and that they were going to make an example of The Syracuse Valley. The Valley, who has in recent weeks been decimated by Graveyard entries wishes to do their best against this obvious water powerhouse, but without Master Chief to lead them or any true water characters on the roster (other than Bartlett do to all his experience from Mike & Laura’s pool) the team has few delusions of grandeur. As the 2 teams are dropped from the sky above the ocean; it is revealed that both teams have similar plans. While much of The Right Wing aims themselves for the water both Mr. Freeze and Sub-Zero freeze much of the water below them to create a platform for their teams to work from. Under orders from Poseidon, The Right Wing’s 10 pirates go to the edge of their own iceberg and begin using their flint lock pistols and cutlasses to bust up the ice around the edge of The Valley’s berg. With some of the ice busted up Poseidon sends his 6 Opee Sea Killers in to break thru the surface and break apart the ice even further, sending much of The Syracuse Valley Team into the water. Once they no longer have an ice berg to stand on Ariel swims in fast with the Huge Goober Fish behind her and then hangs back as they quickly and easily devour Beavis, Butthead, Buttchunk, Wald, Shang Tsung, Knuckles, Little Goomba #3, Screwloose, & Guille. Treasure Troll #4 tries to swim away, but Ariel catches the orange haired little Troll and twists his neck until it is broken. Mr. Freeze squares off against Sub-Zero and has an awful tough time trying to shoot the ninja with his Freeze gun. Sub Zero lands in front of him and shoots Mr. Freeze with his down toward low punch move but when the ice hits the already frozen Mr. Freeze it comes back at the ninja and freezes him instead. Mr. Freeze than overloads Sub-Zero with frozenness until the blue suited ninja cracks into pieces. Wingnut manages to make it out of the water and back onto the Valley’s iceberg, but once he is up there, he is hit by a strafing run from the 2 Droid Fighter Ships and is killed. The blasts from the 2 ships cause several more people from both teams into the water. Martin Blank was doing his best just to stay away from Darth Techno but once they are both sent into the water Darth Techno’s crimson lightsaber instantly malfunctions, as opposed to Martin Blank’s Glocks which work perfectly under water, which is how he puts 2 bullets into the chest of the Sith Lord before either one of them reach the surface. Poseidon, the god of the sea swims thru the ocean as easy as a mere mortal takes a step. The 6 Syracuse Valley Xenomorphs do a pretty good job moving thru the water as well but the brother of Zeus takes all 6 of them on single-handedly. Poseidon faces little difficulty as he uses his Trident to kill all 6 Aliens. Without their acidic blood being able to spray under the water the Right Wing’s 1st year 1st rounder leaves the battle unscathed. Rayne and Quinlon Vos engage in a fierce battle atop the now combined ice bergs, but Rayne, despite her skill can not keep up with the speed of the Jedi Master and loses the fight with a lightsaber thru her neck. Martin Blank begins to climb back on to the ice berg when he hears Helen of Troy begin to scream. Martin hurries because he is naturally in love with the beautiful former Spartan, but he gets back on the iceberg just in time to see Helen crushed to death by Scooter. Helen then becomes known as the woman who launched a thousand bullets (approximately of course) as an enraged Blank unloads both of his twin Glock .40’s into the small Go-Bot to destroy him. A vicious air battle begins with Silver Surfer taking on Megatron and Red Tornado fighting Starscream. Red Tornado spins up into the sky, but before he can prepare an attack Starscream comes in at Mach 1 and perfectly targets the android out of the sky with one of his missiles. Megatron sees the ease in which Starscream destroys his opponent and he attacks Silver Surfer with just a touch of arrogance. Megatron, in his Cybertronian jet form targets the surfer, but he evades every attack Megatron throws at him. Silver Surfer then quickly flies in and sends a blast of cosmic energy out in front of him as he blasts right thru the chest of the Mighty Megatron to destroy his spark. Silver Surfer and Starscream square off in a sort of mid-air winners circle, but The Surfer manages to destroy Starscream in much the same way he did Megatron. Rob Bartlett falls into the water with Scrappy-Doo and a fierce battle ensues. Bartlett matches Scrappy’s puppy power as the 2 of them scratch and claw at each other in the rough ocean waves. The 2 of them continue in what amounts to be a true battle for the ages until Baby Storm flies by and grabs Scrappy by the collar and then, despite much protest from the puppy she throws him back onto the iceberg. Baby Storm then sends a baby lightning bolt into the water striking Rob in the head. With the mini bolt hitting its mark in the water, it is plenty strong enough to finish off the Bartster. The 12 well trained Navy sailors prepare themselves for battle as the 7 Phibians approach. The sailors fight back fiercely but they are simply no match for the genetically enhanced Tleilaxlu creations. Phibian #11, 13, 15, & 17 die in the attack but every Navy Sailor perishes as well. Kit Fisto pops out of the water and onto the iceberg with such ease that one would think he has the power of flight. Crasher moves to attack him, but Master Fisto force pushes the Go-Bot female to the ground and then jumps on top of her with his lightsaber drawn to finish her off. Bossk squares off against the 10 pirates and immediately shows his superior fighting skills by blasting Pirates #1, 3, & 7 with his blaster. The pirates draw their cutlasses to bring the battle into close quarters but Bossk still manages to overpower Pirates #4 & 6, before the remainder of the pirates rally around the “Aaaarggh” yelling Pirate #1 to finish him off. Bossk dies with a cutlass to the chest from Pirate #8. While the Ninja Turtles and Zit, the last remaining Battletoad form up to make their stand; Darth Rave begins using the force to pull Opee Sea Killers out of the water and then throw them onto the iceberg. Once out of the water Darth Rave pumps them full of Sith Lightning which easily kills the huge fish. Darth Rave is successful in doing this to Opee Sea Killer #4 & 6 before Poseidon jumps out of the water and sticks his trident into the Sith Lord’s chest. Mikhail Bakunin swims up behind Jazz in hopes to, ….. Well I’m not sure what exactly he was trying to do, but it was definitely brave. Whatever it was Jazz notices the attacker and then turns around to crush the human in his hands. Silver Surfer then quickly avenges his buddy Bakunin (actually, who am I kidding. I don’t think Silver Surfer has ever spoken to him) by blasting Jazz into pieces with a fierce burst of cosmic energy. As the 5 large Amphibians wait for The Right Wing to converge on their position of what is left of the iceberg Zit stands back to follow what the Ninja Turtles do next, because he admires how well the 4 turtles work together, reminding him of how it once was with his 2, now deceased fellow Battletoads. He watches on as “Leonardo leads” the Turtles into the battle he then sees that “Donatello does machines” (that’s a fact Jack) as he pieces together a water proof laser rifle that he made especially for this mission. Raphael, despite the pressure is “Cool, but rude” (Gimme a break), Michelangelo on the other hand, “he’s a party dude” (Cowabunga). Together Zit says: “You guys are some Heroes in half Shell”. “Turtle Power” Michelangelo replies. The 4 turtles and the toad mow thru the last remaining Pirates when they are attacked Mr. Freeze Kit Fisto, and Quinlon Vos. Quinlon Vos and Kit Fisto break thru the turtle’s front line and take out Leonardo and Raphael with their lightsabers. Michelangelo jumps into action and kills Quinlon Vos with a perfectly placed nunchuk thwack to the top of his dome. Poseidon sees this attack and tackles Michelangelo into the water where there battle continues. Michelangelo fights valiantly but in the end cannot compete with the god of the sea while floating in the water. He is killed when Poseidon’s Trident impales him in the chest, penetrating right thru his shell. Donatello uses his hand made laser gun to shoot the Freeze gun out of Mr. Freeze’s hand. The last remaining turtle then breaks his staff over the top of Mr. Freeze’s head, busting open his helmet and killing the villain once he is exposed to the warm air. Silver Surfer sees this great use of skill and flies down hard toward the battle. The Surfer uses his indestructible board as a battering ram to smack Donatello’s whole body and kill him. Zit jumps onto the side of Droid Fighter Ship #1 and then punches a hole in the top destroying its circuitry. He then uses his big foot to kick the ship into Droid Fighter Ship #2, destroying that one as well. Zit falls back into the water and begins to swim back toward the iceberg but Master Fisto jumps in the water to meet him halfway. Kit Fisto ignites his water proof lightsaber and then uses it to run Zit thru.
THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS!