Week 1: Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs Oblivio

Michael Vick’s Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve is Marv, Sylar, Justin Oblak, and Brandon Inge.

Oblivio is Shredder, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Vampire #99.


Some theme music for the match. (GREAT idea Nickatu)

“The stench of old cigar smoke fills the air as well as my lungs. I have to squint my eyes to see through the haze. I notice Nancy starting to take the stage. The crowd salivates with anticipation. Personally, my mouth is watering from the fact that I know in mere moment my team of warriors are going to find Oblivio and wipe the floor of Kadie’s Club Pecos with their limp bodies. I see my teammates sitting up against the stage tossing back a few brews before the oncoming battle. My name? Brandon Inge. I’m part of the Bad Newz Kennelz.”

Brandon Inge walks calmly over to his three teammates, Marv, Sylar and Justin Oblak, who are all enjoying Nancy’s show. Within moments, Shredder crashes through the door, leaps up onto the stage and slices Nancy’s throat wide open. “Oh you’re gonna pay for that one pal,” grunts Marv. Justin jumps off of his bar stool and smashes his Miller Lite bottle on the bar. Shredder’s two teammates, Bellatrix Lestrange and Vampire #99, enter the bar as the rest of the patrons flee out the back door. The tall, beautiful brunette known as Vampire #99 immediately uses her vampire/feminine wiles on Justin and seduces the Golden Boy. She quickly bites his neck and tosses him to the floor. “NOOO!!!” yells Brandon as he sees his BFF fall.

“Watching my bud fall to a lousy dame like that twists my stomach into a knot. It makes my blood boil red hot. I’m going to make her pay. I don’t care if she looks like a dame to kill for. I’ll go to Hell and back if I have to. No matter what, I’m going to make sure I give her the hard goodbye,” growls Brandon.

The Detroit Tiger grabs a pool ball and chucks it right at Vampire #99, but he over throws it. “Missed it by that much,” he says to himself. He then takes a pool cue, snaps it in half and attacks the beautiful Vampire, who slightly resembles Anne Hathaway or a young Barbara Feldon. He knocks her to the bar floor and drives the splintered pool cue into her black heart. Brandon then rushes to Justin’s side, but it’s too late. Rage and anger fill Inge’s heart as he turns his attention to Bellatrix. The crazed witch, however has little patience for this and kills Brandon by shouting “Avada Kedavra,” thus hitting him with the killing curse. She is then knocked down by a bar stool wielding Sylar. Meanwhile, Marv is intensely focused on destroying Shredder. The Foot Clan leader is quick and agile, causing severe amounts of damage to the bruiser with his various blades. But Marv is unrelenting. He is able to catch one of Shredder’s spin kicks and that’s all he needs. Marv levels Shredder with a roundhouse that knocks him clear across the bar. Marv then grabs a hold of Shredder’s helmet and with sheer brute force, crushes it in on the ninja master’s skull. “That one’s for you Nancy,” Marv says to himself, as he is completely soaked in blood. Sylar peers into Bellatrix’s mind in an attempt to learn her powers, but finds out that not only is magic on a whole different level than super powers, but she is also completely bat s#!t insane. Before he can truly understand the correct pronunciation of “Avada Kedavra,” Bellatrix says it for him and kills him with another killing curse. Marv is bleeding badly from is wounds inflicted upon him by Shredder, but he will never go down without a fight. Bellatrix starts cackling, because she is confident that she has this match all but wrapped up for her team. But just then, a vampire Justin Oblak leaps onto her back and attacks her. “Quick… Marv… kill this b!*ch while we still have the chance,” Vampire Justin says. Marv picks up Brandon Inge’s baseball bat and with a massive swing, he literally explodes Bellatrix’s head. “Marv… you gotta kill me now.. if I turn completely… I’ll come after you too,” pleads Justin. “Aww come on little guy, I don’t want to hurt you,” Marv replies to his teammates request. “JUST DO IT!!” shouts Vampire Golden Boy. Marv snaps the bat in two and reluctantly drives it through the Golden Boy’s heart. Marv then walks behind the bar and finds a bottle of whisky and proceeds to drink the whole thing in honor of his fallen teammates.

MICHAEL VICK’S BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURV IS VICTORIOUS!!