Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds" Touring Battalion of Commandos

Former Pop-Superstar Hannah Montana & "Guess Who Brought Peace to Egypt Now" President Barack Obama's "Best of Both Worlds Touring Battalion of Commandos is Batzarro, David Hasslehoff, Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Lady GaGa, Joan Jett, & Adam & Kate Hernandez.

The Syracuse Valley is (Movie) Megaton & Boomerang Bros. #2.


**Note from the watcher: If you aren’t going to read Boomerang Bros. #2’s dialogue with an over-exaggerated Australian accent than don’t even bother reading the match (Snoogans).

“G’day mate, I didn’t know I’d be battlin dese blokes with you out ere today. I mean chrikey, I got up, had some Brekkie and thought I was just gonna have me a run of the mill bog standard kinda day, I had no idea I’d be Binglin these buggers with one of the top players on the whole Valley. I figured since it’s Pre-Season an all I’d be Blueing with some bloody bludger who’d had a few to many Fosters at the boozer last night if you get what I’m sayin Mate”. Says Boomerang Bros #2 to his teammate Megatron. Megatron replies with: “Shut up flesh sack”. The Boomerang Bros. continues with: “Ahhh, not much for talkin while the match is goin I see. Well, I reckon I’ll follow your lead then mate, just know that me and me rang got your back when the Hoons show up. I must say Meggie, you don’t mind if I call ya Meggie do ya“... (No answer from Megatron). “You don’t even look the least bit scared, in fact ya look down right anxious. Me on the other hand, my clacker is as puckered as a joey’s freckle. By the by, how do ya reckon that we are walkin down the street of Boardwalk from Monopoly? I mean the blokes back at the base told me that we were gonna be nuttin out in a place called The Danger Room. Well I’ll be straight with you when I say that thimble over there doesn’t look mighty dangerous to me”.................. Uproarious laughter ensues from the mouth of Boomerang Bros. #2 and as much silence as is possibly made by an enormous creature made of Cybertronian Metal is made by Megatron. The Boomerang Bros. laughs a little bit more.

2 hours later.

Boomerang Bros #2 speaks: “Ha ha ha. Sorry to carry on like that Meggie, but that piece of piss tickled me old fella if ya know what I mean”. “I must say though Meggie, that even though this place doesn’t seem to dangerous, I can’t imagine that when The Commandos show up that that isn’t going to be to grouse. They’re the NL Champions, and I’m not sayin that we don’t have a fair go at em, but this could be rough”. Megatron speaks: “Just do what needs to be done when the time comes and shut up”. “Sorry Meggie, I’m not implyin that I’m gonna have a liquid laugh when the hoons, I mean Commandos show up, I’m just sayin that I reckon that they shant be a group of lollies when they do come around”. It is at this exact moment that The Commandos come running out of The Free Parking Section where they have been waiting all along and mount their “full-frontal attack“. The Commandos may have been quite decimated by last year’s play-off run, and this may not be their A-Team; but they are still proud NL Champions and have the utmost confidence as they rush the team that has up until this point still never made the play-offs. When this squad was first assembled, they instantly went in to talks about forming a band. Nietzsche was going to be the producer and song-writer, and was going to market the German crowds along with Hasslehoff, who was going to play rhythm guitar and sing (but only when they were in Germany). Lady GaGa was going to be the lead singer, with Joan on guitar and singing back-up. Adam and Kate, with their world-renowned skills of bass and drums from Atrium and The Used 2 Beez were of course backing up the power-driven sound that Joan was dreaming up. The band had great potential, for a couple of minutes, but Joan soon got sick of Friedrich’s whiny bulls**t and told him that she didn’t give a f%^k how deep his Existentialism was and that she could write music without his limpy, syphilis filled a&^”. At first Joan was cool with Lady GaGa being the lead singer, but after Lady GaGa instantly put on a leather jacket, died her hair & painted her fingernails jet black to steal Joan’s look, like she did to her old dead friend before she became a pop crap sensation who is “so original” Joan got pissed and kicked her out of the band. Adam and Kate stayed loyal to Joan, which led Kate to warn Lady GaGa that “if she didn’t like being kicked out of the band than she is really gonna hate being kicked in the box”. Joan Jett than saw Hoff play the guitar for 35 milla-seconds before she kicked him out of the band as well for being the worst musician of all time. Joan proclaimed that “I don’t care how much the Germans like that tool, I’d rather play with Adolf Hitler than have him back me up on guitar”. Adam added: “yeah, get out of out band you drunk fascist f#$k, and by the way: BAYWATCH SUCKED” Kate chimed in with “you suck poop dildos Hoff”. Joan Jett and her new 3 piece band (Known as Joan Jett and The Atrium Beez) then plugged in their instruments and broke into a kick-a** version of “I’m Gonna Run Away” in honor of their former Band mates. Batzarro clapped as loud as he could and exclaimed that he was their “smallest fan”. While this song is being played in the background The Valley and The Commandos finally become aware of each others presence and the battle begins. DAVID HASSLEHOFF ATTACKS!! And by attacks, I mean that he mistakes Megatron for the world’s largest toilet and tries to vomit on him. Megatron then steps on Hasslehoff with his hatred for organic beings growing ever-more. Joan breaks into a guitar solo and yells to Batzarro that he needs to make his move against the enemy. Batzarro sort of listens to the squad’s unofficial leader, but instead of attacking Megatron and his rang-wielding side-kick he goes into detective mode. After an hour or 2 of detective work he discovers that Friedrich Nietzsche is a philosopher. Megatron then vaporizes Batzarro with his lasers. Nietzsche begins to pen a manuscript about the perspectivism of each individual on the battlefield and how the impossibility of facts relates to each of their respective personalities in regards to their existential human existence and their individual emotional state. He writes the intro to his own book when Megatron walks over to the philologist and brings him right in front of his giant metal mouth. Megatron looks at Nietzsche and states that: “I have read your work flesh sack, and I assure you: God is not dead... You are looking at him”. Megatron then squeezes Nietzsche into mush. Lady GaGa begins to sneak up behind Megatron and gets her sinewy vocal cords ready to sing “Poker face” when Boomerang Bros. #2 jumps into action. The Boomerang Bros. recognizes the fact that he has regrettably annoyed the hell out of his teammate Megaton and that if the great Decepticon leader were at this exact moment to hear “Poker face” sung live by GaGa herself that it would be more than likely that he would be irritated to death. Boomerang Bros #2 throws his rang at GaGa’s head to deliver a fatal blow, which in essence saves the life of his mate Meggie. Megatron sees this act of quick-thinking and bravery by his teammate, but is unable to move quick enough to save him from being jacked in the back of the head by Joan Jett’s guitar. “I love myself for hating you” Joan says as the bloodied Boomerang Bros. falls to the ground with a head wound that is sure to prove mortal. “I’ve been bloody Larrikened by a Sheila”! The Boomerang Bros. exclaims! Joan wipes the blood from her guitar and jumps back on the makeshift stage back on the outskirts of Baltic and Mediterranean. Adam and Kate start jamming to “Riding with James Dean” as Joan belts out the lyrics but Megatron transforms into a Cybertronian Jet and pulls a strafing run which wipes out the rock trio with a “Back Lash” of “Bad Reputation”. Megatron then lands next to The Boomerang Bros. who ended up being a valiant addition to his team this day. “Will you live fleshling”? Megatron asks in his robotic amplified voice. The Boomerang Bros. responds with “I’d like to skite that she will be apples mate, but I’m afraid this show pony is Rubbish. Just tell me one thing though... (gurgle)... I saved you right? I mean, we’re mates (gurgle) ain’t we”? Megatron kneels next to the Boomerang Bros. who’s ears work for one more second to hear the great conqueror of Cybertron say: “Yeah, we’re mates”
THE SYRACUSE VALLEY IS VICTORIOUS!