Michael Vick's Bad Newz Kennelz of Lurve vs Oblivio

“If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt.”


-Jack Bauer

I look upon the teams which will do battle in this Season 4, Semi-Final Match located on the Playoff Planet. They are as follows:


Kennelz: Galactus, Nova w/ green lantern ring, Terrax, Firelord, Lord Voldemort, Black Lantern Sentry, Black Lantern Shazam, Shazam (Freddy Freeman), Supergirl (Ariella Kent), Steel Superman, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Marv, Jack Bauer, Oa Guardian #1 w/ green lantern ring, Oa Guardian #2, Oa Guardian #3, Oa Guardian #4, Oa Guardian #5, Oa Guardian #6, Jade w/ green lantern ring and blue lantern ring, Green Lantern #1, Hercules, Ares w/ Atlas Axe, Apollo, The Inhumans: Black Bolt, Gorgon, Crystal and Medusa, Heroes: Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Matt Parkman, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss and The Haitian.


Oblivio: Krona, Kyle Rayner - Parallax (yellow), Darth Void - The Butcher (red), Aleta One w/ green lantern ring - Adara (blue), Micah Giiett - Ion (green), Predator #46 - Proselyte (indigo), Eowyn - The Predator (violet), Mon Star - Ophidian (Orange), Black Lantern Wonder Woman, Black Lantern Kyle Rayner, Space Godzilla, Sandworm #12, Bellatrix Lestrange, Shredder w/ Mithril vest, Hawkeye, Chucky w/ red lightsaber and yellow lantern ring, Tiffany, Bride of Chucky w/ Star Sapphire ring, Black Dragon #8, Darwin (X-Men), Captain Marvel II, Gorax, Magma, Krayt Dragon #5, Smokescreen, Wheeljack, Junkeon #25, Junkeon #26, Zombie Iceman, Triton, Orion, Dementor #10, Jitsu w/ his horse Nightstalker, Edward Cullen, Bella Swan and Scarlet Spider (Felicity Hardy).


Let the battle begin. . .


Forest Region. . .

In a tender moment before the match officially begins, Edward Cullen lies with Bella Swan as a man and an even prettier man often do. Their sweet love session ends with a warm embrace. As the two young lovers rise, partially clothed, they are met by Lord Voldemort. An evil grin slowly creeps along the face of the resurrected wizard. Voldemort raises his wand and uses it against the “young” vampire. Edward Cullen’s head explodes and his body melts into the ground.

Lord Voldemort: I guess you could call me. . . a member of “Team Jacob.”

Dementor #10 flies from the surrounding trees and heads at Voldemort. Dementor #10 stops in place as it faces his former ally.

Voldemort: You serve me!!!

Dementor #10 shutters and rushes to Bella Swan, in response to his true master. It manages to place a Dementor’s kiss upon her lips. Bella’s soul is stolen and her eyes become lifeless-much like the true-life actress who plays her character in the movies. Bella, now with Edward’s belt, climbs up a tree while both Voldemort and the Dementor watch. She ties the belt to a branch and jumps, with Edward’s belt hanging around her neck. Bella’s neck breaks and she dies.

The Gorax crushes through the brush and grabs Voldemort. As Voldemort is being held, Hercules, Ares and Apollo come to Voldemort’s rescue and battle the Gorax. The three “gods” are too much for the woodland beast. The Gorax is killed. Black Dragon #8 enters the fray and manages to kill Apollo. Hercules, Voldemort and Ares finish the beast in retribution for their comrade’s death.

Desert Region. . .

Krayt Dragon #5 smells its prey. Gorgon stomps on the ground, causing shockwaves which cause the dragon to stumble. Crystal uses her powers and creates a tornado. The winds engulf the dragon. Blackbolt then fishes the beast off with a blast of his destructive hypersonic voice. As Krayt Dragon #5 explodes, so does the ground beneath the Inhumans. Sandworm #12 swallows both Gorgon and Medusa. As Sandworm #12 is about to finish off both Blackbolt and Crystal, Oa Guardians #2-6 come to the scene and destroy the monstrosity. The Guardians then rise upward to space.

Space Region. . .

The Oa Guardians meet Oa Guardian #1 with a green lantern ring. As the Guardians come together to discuss their next strategy, they are met by Kyle Rayner - Parallax (yellow), Darth Void - The Butcher (red), Aleta One w/ green lantern ring - Adara (blue), Micah Giiett - Ion (green), Predator #46 - Proselyte (indigo), Eowyn - The Predator (violet) and Mon Star - Ophidian (Orange). A vicious battle ensues and one by one, the Oa Guardians are miraculously picked off by the spectrum entities. Kyle Rayner - Parallax (yellow) destroys Oa Guardian #2. Darth Void - The Butcher (red) destroys Oa Guardian #3. Aleta One w/ green lantern ring - Adara (blue) destroys Oa Guardian #4. Micah Giiett - Ion (green) destroys Oa Guardian #5. Predator #46 - Proselyte (indigo) destroys Oa Guardian #6. The combined powers of Eowyn - The Predator (violet) and Mon Star - Ophidian (Orange) destroy Oa Guardian #1 with green lantern ring.

Seeing his celestial comrades fall to the entities, Galactus takes matters into his own hands. He knows that if he uses his entire cosmic essence, he will be able to defeat the celestials. Galactus shouts to his heralds before the overload of his power cosmic is complete.

Galactus: Avenge me!!!

Galactus explodes and his entire power cosmic essence rips apart the entities from their hosts, at the sacrifice of himself. Galactus is engulfed, but so are the entities. As the entities dissipate, the hosts fall to the world below. Kyle Rayner, Darth Void, Aleta One, Micah Giiett, Predator #46, Eowyn and Mon Star are caught by Black Lanterns Wonder Woman and Kyle Rayner, who float them to the plains below.

City Region- [Dird Avenue]. . .

Claire Bennett stands in the street in front of Chucky and Tiffany. The two dolls use their rings to pick her up and drop her to the street below. Chucky smiles at his bride and the two begin to walk away. A broken and bloodied Claire rises and begins to mold her body into shape again. Chucky ignites his lightsaber. He begins to walk toward Claire and then stops in his place. He turns around and comes at his Bride.

Tiffany: What are you doing?!?!

Chucky: Can’t stop myself! I’m being controlled!

Before Tiffany can use her ring in defense, Matt Parkman uses all of his strength to “push” the mind contained within Chucky.

Chucky: Sorry babe!

Chucky lops off her head. Chucky screams in frustration as he is about to disembowel the stuffing out of his own stomach. Before he does, an arrow cuts through the eye of Parkman and he falls. Hawkeye has saved the doll. Chucky is now himself again.

Jack Bauer comes from behind Hawkeye.

Bauer: Down on the ground!

Hawkeye slowly turns.

Bauer: Don’t push me! Down on the ground or I will put you down!

While Bauer focuses on Hawkeye, Shredder comes from behind and slices through Bauer’s back. Bauer falls dead, his spine and attached cord hanging from his body. Hiro Nakamura touches Sylar and teleports with him behind Shredder. Shredder’s Mithril vest is useless against Sylar and he is killed.

Air Region. . .

Green Lantern #1 and Shazam (Freddy Freeman) face BL Wonder Woman and BL Kyle Rayner in the air above the Plains Region. BL Rayner easily destroys GL #1. BL Wonder Woman is in a pitched battle with Shazam. Eventually, the black lantern is able to take advantage of her deathly powers and rips the heart out of Shazam. As the black lanterns turn, they see Oblivio’s black lanterns enter the fray. The BLs fight one another- BL Sentry and BL Shazam battle BL Wonder Woman and BL Kyle Rayner. In the end, BL Sentry bests BL Wonder Woman; BL Kyle Rayner bests BL Shazam and in an intense battle of skill, BL Sentry bests BL Kyle Rayner.

Plains Region. . .

Kyle Rayner, Darth Void, Aleta One w/ green lantern ring, Micah Giiett, Predator #46, Eowyn and Mon Star rise, no longer containing the spectrum entities. They will have to prove their own abilities as they face Supergirl (Ariella Kent), Steel Superman, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, and Jade with a green lantern ring and blue lantern ring.

Predator #46 fires its shoulder cannon at Steel Superman. S2 shrugs off the blast and punches Predator #46 in the face. S2’s arm is driven through its skull. Predator #46 crumples to the ground. Supergirl sees Eowyn and easily dispels with the Tolkien warrior. In an unlikely paired duo, Darth Void joins Micah Giiett in an attack against Jade. Jade uses her lantern rings, firing projectiles and shielding herself against the onslaught of Jedi and Sith powers crashing into her, including lightsabers. Eventually, the two wear her down and Jade is killed. Aleta One and Kyle Rayner come to the fray and manage to best both Darth Void and Micah Giiett with their ring combinations. This time the ring wielders are victorious over the Sith and Jedi. Void and Giiett die. Mon Star is easily ripped apart by Dr. Doomsday. Captain Atom then joins with Supergirl, S2 and Dr. Doomsday to destroy both Rayner and Aleta One.

Desert Region. . .

Nova with her green lantern ring, Terrax and Firelord join Blackbolt and Crystal. Jitsu with his horse Nightstalker ride across the sands toward the Kennelz team; there is a cloud of sand following the He-Man character. With one small scream, Jitsu and his horse are destroyed by Blackbolt. As they fall to the sands below, Smokescreen, Wheeljack, Junkeon #25 and Junkeon #26 are seen bursting from the cloud. Blackbolt uses his hypersonic voice and Crystal uses the elements to slow the robots down. Terrax, Firelord and Nova combine the use of their power cosmic abilities to shred Junkeon #25 and Junkeon #26. The remaining robots reach the Kennelz. Before either can use their abilities, once again, Smokescreen reaches Blackbolt and Wheeljack reaches Crystal. Both Inhumans are killed by the Transformers. Terrax, Firelord and Nova are then joined by Steel Superman, Captain Atom, Dr. Doomsday and Supergirl. They overpower and destroy both Smokescreen and Wheeljack, but at the loss of Steel Superman.

City Region- [Beckus Vomitus Dird Junction]. . .

The remaining heroes- Peter Petrelli, Sylar, Hiro Nakamura, Claire Bennett, Tracy Strauss and the Haitian, with Marv now, face Hawkeye, Chucky, Darwin, Captain Marvel II, Zombie Iceman, Orion and Scarlet Spider. As the heroes walk down the street, a barrage of projectiles is thrown their way from Scarlet Spider and Zombie Iceman. The heroes avoid the weaponry. Hiro immediately transports Tracy Strauss next to Scarlet Spider. Strauss touches Hardy and Hardy’s body freezes in place. With a tap of her finger, Scarlet Spider breaks into hundreds of pieces. Hiro then shifts time and transports Petrelli next to Darwin. Petrelli imbibes Darwin’s powers. When Hiro shifts time back to normal, Petrelli and Darwin fight one another. Darwin is about to gain the upper hand when Sylar comes to Petrelli’s rescue. Sylar uses the power cosmic to tear into and destroy Darwin. Little did Oblivio know, but Sylar “touched” Nova and Firelord before the match and gained their abilities also. Captain Marvel II and Hawkeye kill Nakamura so that the hero can no longer use the time/space continuum against them. After using his newly found cosmic powers, Sylar becomes unable to contain them. The power cosmic engulfs him and destroys the “hero.” His death is not without value, as it takes out Hawkeye, Chucky, Captain Marvel and Claire Bennett at the sub-atomic level, not permitting her or any of her teammates to regenerate or revive.

Orion bests Marv and then kills the Haitian. Triton bursts from the sewer and the waters engulf the heroes. Zombie Iceman uses his powers to his advantage and freezes the waters around. Tracy Strauss ironically dies in her own element, as does Petrelli, who is frozen and then smashed by Orion.

Final Melee. . .

The remaining Kennelz- Nova, Terrax, Firelord, Lord Voldemort, Black Lantern Sentry, Supergirl, Dr. Doomsday, Captain Atom, Hercules and Ares face the remaining Oblivio crew- Krona, Space Godzilla, Bellatrix Lestrange, Magma, Zombie Iceman, Triton, Orion and Dementor #10.

BL Sentry uses his abilities to dispel with Dementor #10, not wanting to chance that the shade will re-side with his former team. Krona uses a combination of both his psionic powers and energy manipulation abilities to rip BL Sentry’s ring off his finger and destroy him. The Heralds then come together and dispel with Krona. Hercules and Ares face Triton and Orion. At the end of this battle of the gods and immortals, only Ares stands. Voldemort kills his Death Eater, Lestrange, with the Avada Kedavra curse. Magma and Zombie Iceman are then destroyed by Supergirl, Dr. Doomsday and Captain Atom. A now-nearly victorious Kennelz smile at one another. Suddenly, Space Godzilla comes to the scene. SG manages to destroy Ares, Voldemort and Firelord, using its breath and sheer size and strength, but eventually succumbs to the overwhelming cosmic powers and abilities of the remaining Kennelz team.

Oblivio: All dead.


Kennelz: Nova, Terrax, Supergirl, Dr. Doomsday and Captain Atom.


MICHAEL VICKS BAD NEWZ KENNELZ OF LURVE IS VICTORIOUS!!!