Round One Playoffs: The Right Wing vs The Transfoamers

The Right Wing is Superwoman, Red She-Hulk, The Cosmic Hulk Robot, Silver Surfer (w/a green lantern ring), Skaar: Son of Hulk (w/a green lightsaber), Korg, Doc Samson, Zeus, Flash (Barry Allen version) (w/a blue lantern ring), John Stewart, Blackfire, Quinlon Vos in a Tie Bomber, Athena (w/an indigo lantern ring), Batwoman in a Ferrari 328, Red Tornado, Nick Houslander (w/ blue lightsaber and a Devil Lance), Bear (w/ a green lightsaber and Demon Rod) & Mogwai #3 & 4 in The Millennium Chowder, Lyra: The She Hulk (w/ a green lightsaber), Miss Martian, Zombie Gray Hulk, Black Lantern Six Shot & Goliath in a Cybertronian Spaceship, and Mr. Freeze in an AT-ST.



The Transfoamers are The Expendables: Barney Ross, Lee Christmas, Yin Yang, Gunnar Jensen, Toll Road, Hale Caesar, & Tool, Black Lantern Darth Bane, Darth Zannah, Voltron, Transformers #1-10, (movie) Ironhide, (movie) Sideswipe, (movie) Skids, (movie) Mudflap, (movie) Sideways, (movie) Arcee, (movie) Jolt, The Fallen, Ghosts #1-7, Starscream's Ghost, (zombie) Apocalypse Alice, (zombie) Extinction Alice, Rob Bartlett; Jedi Padawan, and Hammer Bros #17 & 22.



The Expendables lead their team out into battle as they cautiously await the arrival of The Right Wing. There are then seven beings that land in front of them with a thunderous slam. The ‘Foamers see Red She-Hulk, Cosmic Hulk Robot, Skaar, Lyra, Zombie Grey Hulk, Doc Samson and Korg standing in front of them. All of the Transformers, Autobot and Decepticon alike, rush the powerhouses and quickly swarm them. Cosmic Hulk Robot wastes no time and destroys Movie Skids and Movie Mudflap (to then pure enjoyment of all watching). Movie Ironhide and Movie Sideswipe double team Zombie Grey Hulk with both brute force and fluid speed. They manage to keep the decomposing monster confused with their melee and are able to take the beast down with a combination of Ironhide’s rockets and Sideswipes blades. Five of the common Transformers converge around and dog pile onto Red She-Hulk. As they begin to beat on her they are all frozen solid in place by Mr. Freeze, who has rewired the weapons on his AT-ST to amplify his freeze guns. The Transformers are then shattered into a million pieces by Red She-Hulk, who bursts out from underneath him. Korg then leaps up and crushes Movie Sideways with his powerful stone fists. He turns to comment on his victory when Black Lantern Darth Bane flies in and slices his head clean off with his lightsaber. The war continues to wage on the ground as the battle up in space is just beginning.


Voltron is being tripled teamed by Quinlan Vos in his Tie Bomber, Blackfire, and Black Lantern Six Shot and Goliath in the Cybertronian Spaceship. Voltron pulls out his laser sword and slices the Tie Bomber in half, killing the Jedi Master in the process. He then crushes Blackfire in his fist. Black Lantern Six Shot maneuvers the Cybertronian Spaceship around Voltron’s attacks and then flies it directly into the back of the large robot, ignoring Goliath’s disagreements with this action. The spaceship explodes and destroys Voltron and Goliath. Black Lantern Six Shot flies out of the wreckage unscathed, due to his Black Lantern powers. Out in the distance there is a flicker of green light, which reveals itself to be Silver Surfer, who is patiently watching the battle unfold before him.

Back down on the ground, The Expendables have regrouped and taken out Mr. Freeze and his AT-ST. Barney Ross and Yin Yang jump into Movie Ironhide as Toll Road and Hale Caesar jump into the bed of the Autobot. Lee Christmas hops onto Movie Arcee and peels out as Gunnar Jensen and Tool climb into Transformer #10. They are being tailed by the team of Batwoman in her Ferrari 328 and Nick Houslander, Bear and two Mogwais in the Millennium Chowder. Batwoman gains on them quickly, but Movie Jolt comes out of nowhere and wraps his electric whips around the Ferrari and destroys it. “Holy crap Bear! Did you see that?” yells Nick. “Hey, dude, what’s that ahead of us?” he says as he sees Hale Caesar take aim with his MPS AA-12 Sledgehammer and unloads it on the Daytona Turbo Pacifica. The car explodes in a fiery ball of twisted metal and flesh from the attack. “Don’t you think that was a little bit of overkill?” asks Toll Road. “No,” Hale quickly responds. The Expendables and their Transformers teammates take off for better cover as the Hulk crew continues their devastation. Skaar and Lyra ignite their green lightsabers and slice through Transformers #6-8 with ease as Cosmic Hulk Robot smashes Movie Sideswipe. The Hulk Robot is then lifted into the air and flung into Skaar and Lyra by The Fallen, who is using his telekinetic powers. The Cosmic Hulk Robot explodes which causes his cosmic powers to erupt and incinerates both Lyra and Skaar.

The seven Ghosts from the Transfoamers fly through the air, but are then confronted by Miss Martian. They whisper in almost unison, “You cannot defeat us, for we are mere apparitions and are already dead.” Miss Martian smirks and their remarks and turns intangible herself and uses a combination of all of her powers to rip through and defeat the Ghosts. But the moment she re-solidifies, she is caught in a force hold by Black Lantern Darth Bane, who then rips her heart out from her chest and kills her. The trio of Red Tornado, John Stewart and Flash square off against the zombified versions of Apocalypse Alice and Extinction Alice. Flash quickly (get it?) super charges John’s Green Lantern ring up to 200% as he hauls ass right towards A.A. and with a lightning fast (ha! Get it? Lightning fast? Man I’m just cracking myself up) karate chop he takes her head clean off. Red Tornado then squares off against Extinction Alice, who tries to take over his mind, but Red Tornado is a robot and uses his powers to rip E.A. apart. Black Lantern Darth Bane, Darth Zannah, and Rob Bartlett: Jedi Padawan then attacks the Justice League trio. Darth Zannah evades Red Tornado’s attack and slices him right up the middle with her red lightsaber. John Stewart and Flash work seamlessly together to destroy Black Lantern Darth Bane with the combination of their Lantern rings. They then split up to finish off Zannah and Bartlett. Rob leaps into the air towards the Green Lantern, but Stewart creates a green energy rifle and puts the Jedi Padawan down. Flash dodges every single one of Darth Zannah’s attacks with her lightsaber. She is then taken out with a double blast of green/blue energy, just like Darth Bane was.

Starscream’s Ghost sees that Transformer #9 has gotten away from the battle via his jet form and quickly possess him. “Ahhh, this will do just fine,” Starscream says to himself. But ever the arrogant one, Starscream targets Superwoman. Laurel Kent stands her ground up in the air as Starcream/Tranformer #9 flies right at her. He uses he heat vision and splits Transformer #9 in two. Athena then flies up and uses her Indigo ring and channels the nearby Green power of John Stewart to destroy the Ghost of Starscream. Hammer Bros #17 and #22 are over in the nearby city, where The Expendables and the remaining Transfoamers have retreated to. The Hammer Bros are launching hammers at great speed to provide cover for their teammates, but they are taken out by Red She-Hulk. Doc Samson tries to infiltrate the Expendables “Alamo” and is ultimately killed by the team of mercenaries. There is then a loud clap of thunder in the clouds above and Movie Jolt finds out what true control of electricity is when he is fried by a powerful bolt of lightning courtesy of Zeus. Black Lantern Six Shot attacks the remaining Cybertronians and quickly kills Movie Arcee and Transformer #10. However, he is then ripped apart by The Fallen. He then teleports behind Athena and thrusts his spear right through her. John Stewart spins around and fires a blast of green energy at The Fallen but he has already teleported away. Tool and Lee Christmas then take aim and silently throw a pair of knives that hit John Stewart in the back causing him to plummet to the ground. The Flash races over and catches John, but the both fell right into The Expendables’ trap. They are both then killed in a cross fire by the mercenaries and Movie Ironhide. The Fallen then teleports again and tries to attack Zeus, but is seriously overpowered by the god and thus easily destroyed.

Then a loud sonic boom is heard from high up in the sky. A streak of silver and green comes down as Silver Surfer finally makes his presence known. The Expendables and Movie Ironhide make a valiant stand together. Bullets and grenades fly through the air, but in the end, the sheer power from Silver Surfer overwhelms them and they are incinerated.

THE RIGHT WING IS VICTORIOUS AND ADVANCES TO THE SEMI-FINALS!!